#26: Iggeres HaRamban (10 Minutes of Meaning) - Cultivating Humility

good morning should be our 10 minutes of Me series is sponsored by andz says father her mother Rifka please help yourself to coffee and slushies and pastries and all the other good stuff available in the lobby we're learning AAR ran the Ran's letter to his son the Ran's letter to all of us and we've been focusing on the Mida the of of humility and of modesty a person can't realize their best self a person can't fulfill their potential if they're inflated ego if they're arrogant arrogance is the categorically worst Mida with anger it sabotages our success in all that we do so he pointed out last time that used the word reflexive how can a person transform and mold eles reflexively condition yourself to be with mid with the mid of humility to go with it toid always always you can't be half pregnant you can't be half humble you can't be part-time vegan or vegetarian you either are or you aren't so a person who is not humble all the time is never humble to a certain extent that doesn't mean it's all or nothing we should work on it until we can improve and grow in it but it's not an All or Nothing proposition nevertheless T it means it's something that we should be working towards regularly consistently constantly to always be dress for the job that you want not the one that you have we're impacted by how we act after our actions and behavior the heart follows don't wait to be humble in order to project humility project humility says thean and the result will be it will turn us into somebody who's humble so how do you do that how do we condition ourselves to be humble thean has a formula thean now gives us specific details as ran said to us earlier at the very beginning of his letter to his son all of your communication all of your interactions should be Bas should be with a sense of pleasantness a pleasant a sense of of Peace why becauseas is theas to be Bas is the opposite of GAA an arrogant person loses their cool an arrogant person screams and yells and is Harsh and ruthless an arrogant person their ego needs everyone to fall in line fall in step to follow their direction to act exactly in their way the Arrogant person absolutely loses it but a person who speaks Bas if you're always Pleasant and you're always sweet and you're always softspoken and you're always Bas that will condition you to always be also humble humble if you have the the last one to speak in the room you don't have to be the first one could be the soft spoken not the loudest person who conditions themselves to always be even when they're frustrated even when they're disappointed even when they wish somebody would act or be different to always speak when when everything we say is then what we say will be heard the wiser you are if you want to be heard it's paradoxical people mistakenly think that if you want to be heard you have to be loud the louder you are the more likely you'll be heard but it's actually the opposite the louder you are the more people shut you out the more they put in their airpods the more they put it on uh what's the setting you can't hear anything not mute the airpods the more they noise cancellation the more they put on noise can the louder you are the more noise you're producing the more they cancel all that noise but the softer that you speak the sweeter that you speak the more people lean in the more they want to hear the more it penetrates the more they receive the more they accept so do you want to be a fool or you want to be wise the fool screams and yells and nobody's listening the wise person speaks softly and gently and everyone wants to hear tells us chabas tells us it's not but chabas tells us that a person on Friday night on a chabas on the eve of chabas there are three things that we have to announce within our home but the gamar is quick to say don't scream it don't yell it don't use it as a weapon to beat people over the head with it remind everyone are the candles set up sweetie is the table set honey are you ready for sh are we ready to go did we invite guests are we good to go are the candles ready are you ready it's almost candle lighting that even though there are three things that we have to announce but we announce them da we announce them with a sense of we don't yell we don't scream again it's paradoxical says the if you want to transform yourself with if you want to do it constantly consistently then also always speak the second thing he says in the formula for how to live how to condition how to transform how present and promote ourselves as humble with our head down person should not with your nose high in the air not only in yish in Judaism and in Torah but the image in literature the image is that the Arrogant person their nose is in the air person holds their head high they're looking up is arrogance person who's humble is able to look down their head is a little bit drawn down there's a surrender submission humility I don't have to be the biggest the strongest the loudest the smartest in the room there are people to interact with there are those to learn from there are things to be in awe of with with with with a head down tells us if a person walks even for if a person walks even six feet with their head high in the air arrogant ego you push away Hashem you push away Hashem if you want to walk with Hashem if you want hm's help support to be by your side the head is down the that's the posture for yes we have a tradition of shuckling some people in order to maintain their fervor while they DAV they Shuckle back and forth all of my bones all of my being all of my limbs but the rambam writes that the proper posture is to actually stand upright your right hand over your left hand over your heart and your head down that's how a person would appear before a king person would appear before a more powerful person you'd stand you wouldn't be shuckling you're meeting with a person standing before the judge who's about to decide your fate you're not shuckling Everywhere You Stand Your Head Down bowed a little bit before that judge your right hand over the left hand over the heart and the head down a little bit the gamar says if you walk with your head high arrogant you push Hashem away there's not enough room in this world for both of us R person's head should be down head should be down I had a rebi who told me a long time ago and I tried to look it up this morning and I saw some evidence of it that in fact the way the inner ear is structured and the balance a person is most balanced not when their head is even when your head is down a drop that's when you maintain your equilibrium I don't know if anatomically it's 100% correct I looked it up I found someplace that says it too that when is one's head at perfect equilibrium not certainly not when you're looking up and not even when you're looking straight when your head is down a little bit that's when you're most balanced that when you're at your equilibrium it means anatomically the way that God designed us is where most equilibrium our balance is most set when we're looking down looking down not held high not arrogant looking down SOA is something we're supposed to practice condition ourselves and once we condition and pra if you speak softly and your head is down and your posture reflects humility then you'll become humble don't wait to be humble to take a humble posture take a humble posture and that will make us humble and then he has a couple more that we'll pick up with next week how exactly we should again carry ourselves which will result in this maida which will transform our life enhance our relationships make us closer to hem make us more successful in all that we do with that of should be yes