A Fresh New Year, Rosh-Hashanah 2022 Class # 49

foreign welcome to another Wednesday night fundamentals to gain inner peace we're up to class number 49. and so New Year the new year a new new start fresh starts and I do wonder what came up when you saw the title what comes up in your mind when you hear a fresh start depending how old you are how many rosh hashanahs you've done before so let's get started first of all everybody should have if it's a shame a good year and um wherever you are whatever it was should be able to feel that you're part of it connected and that's something that we're going to be talking about tonight I did want to start with with giving physic to say no matter what it looked like that was what Hashem wanted that was the best but right away I caught myself and that's jumping it's jumping to the part of it's not okay to feel what we feel we have to feel positive you know jumping right away to say it is what it is this is what a show wants even though deep down you don't really like it and you might be upset or whatever feelings come up and I might be suppressing it by going straight to whatever it was it was exactly what it needs to be and Hashem knows what's best for us so we're gonna try to do one step number one and then step number two so step step number one is to be aware of how do you feel where were you in Russia how did it work out did you have different expectations or maybe you feel you know you loved it everything worked out it's great and you look for it look forward every year to our Channel and that's amazing or for those who have done many rosh hashanahs and they still do it but listen you know I don't know I don't know where it's going I don't know what exactly I need to do or maybe you need to you know people spend it maybe in the hospital or maybe they couldn't whatever the story was wherever you were to realize how you feel about it um your expectations were a and you ended up being B and how you feel and it's okay to feel those feelings that's number one so that's important so before we start let's get grounded see where you are after Rosh Hashanah how you feel take a deep breath and be okay with those feelings whatever it is if you know to be anger could be disconnect where do you feel it in your body just breathe and it be okay with it if you become aware of anything you can write them down you can put them in the chats so I can talk about it whatever works so when people hear the word fresh new starts the people that feel shut down and they don't really believe it and it really has to do many of us has to do with our experiences in the past and it could be based on it could be based on something very young when we're eight years old what was the reaction of what was Roshan all about when we're 13 teenagers have you look at it I got to speak to younger kids teenagers and many of them are you know they don't really believe it's it's sad to see how young they are and they have already those beliefs see I'm not changing this is who I am I know I'm gonna speak Russian Haram so so the the no no motivation to do any you know say the word sugar it just shuts them down not me what do you want it's just not possible some people feel they're they're not doing anything right so talk about davening and true and Hashem no no they don't want to go there now the question is how many of us adults have that inner child inside of us that when we were young we might have had a reaction subconsciously and not spoken about it just put it away and deep down it's still there still having a hard time hard time to figure out what why how and everybody has a different reaction we don't think about it well we you know we continue doing the things that we need to do from the outside it looks beautiful which is good but an inside that's shut down got many teenagers that for that reason they they just can't continue with what's going on they can go off it's harder than to be from because it just doesn't work and many of them are black and white um that's usually how teenagers work It's All or Nothing so talk about saying the whole tell them for nothing being the whole day darling the whole day saying the whole mother of everything but if I can't it doesn't work then it's not for me so goodbye some of them just can't stay many of us stay and somehow we make it work the question is is it because we're shut down or we're just you know we tell ourselves this is all I can do but the real question is what's that inner child feeling how does that inner child feel about what's going on so if we can connect to that in a child and to stop for a moment to see what do I really feel what do I really believe and that's usually com that comes usually from those younger years what did you tell yourself when you were a teenager if I can be perfect then that's good but if I can't then it's not for me and who of us is perfect we've discussed it before and it's not my secrets and I'm sure you see it around that we were created human and that's exactly what Hashem wanted Hashem created us human interesting and that's what he wants from us and there's no such a thing of not doing a virus and again that's how he created us there is no perfect yes I will say Russian Hara again it's not that I'm saying I will but I know I'm not perfect so what are we supposed to do how does this work how does it work with me so now we can tell ourselves all we need to do is those small steps we can try to work on it but really to really go back to those to that inner child to listen to that inner child to understand what's bothering me why is it hard for me to connect what's pushing me and I would say even the other way even if you're saying the hotel and trying your best to do everything right I would tell you to stop and to relax a little bit why because many times if it's coming from a negative place if it comes from a place that I'm not okay Hashem doesn't really like me the next year is not going to be a good year if I don't say the whole killer if it comes from there you're going to be exhausted and when you're done you might not want to do it again and it's not it doesn't last too long after a while will really shut down because many many have to do it they have to because if they don't they're doomed and they can't live with that they can live with themselves not doing everything perfect and it's not healthy not spiritual and not physical you can physically get sick and spiritually be sick you're not in a good place that's not what Hashem wants from you and I will take you all the way back to loving yourself to say Hashem loves you and all you should do is say one Capital tell them if I could only see what's going through your mind with that one Capital tiller one Capital two what's that word well if one is nothing worth then why is two better you have to believe that each one you just had a capital tell them and Hashem loves you the Way You Are even if you're not perfect even if you're struggling yes and all he wants is those small steps a very very small step but for some people it's hard so again to really know where you're coming from how you feel about yourself how you feel what's your connection with Hashem when you sit down to face Hashem to talk to Hashem what is it this is like I just have to say this let me just let me just say it I don't think about it's too hard and like I mentioned before when we did the Roshana meditation stop saying stop saying those words stop first connect with yourself take a deep breath and tell yourself you're okay I am okay Hashem loves me the way I am where I am even if I'm not perfect yes feel it take it in and you're in the negative beliefs you're in a child all of those might start screaming and saying what in the world are you talking about you're just trying to make yourself feel good listen to those voices don't try to shut it down listen to what comes up when you try to make yourself feel good and if that's what we need then all of this trying to do everything right and every day and saying the whole tell them and truva that doesn't work and if you have any teenagers at home you deal with kids you talk to kids it's not going to work you're going to say shuvo we have to be true we have to be better if they don't have the foundation the fundamentals that's basic belief of Hashem created me and he gives me life every day and he loves me the way I am then for them is to sit down and make a list of 10 things they did right today 10 minutes they did today 10 Good Deeds they could say and if they can't do that you don't want the children you're a wanted feeler and you don't want the docker you don't have the basic just the basic who am I and I have to build myself up for the people that you deal with we have to build up the foundation if I can have a list of 10 good things you did today then What's It Gonna you know you're gonna be running so you'll stay the whole time because you feel ugly about yourself you feel that you're worthless you feel Hashem hates you and the only way I would have good years if I say the hotel that's not what Hashem wants how do I know what Hashem wants it's a good question Hashem wants you to have a positive relationship with them where are you coming from where are you picking it up from when did you feel those negative beliefs or if you're shut down how old were you what was the experience when you were younger and if we're not going back to those ideas and if we can't ear it out and just come up with new I with new beliefs and being able to take a deep breath and relaxing and taking it easy and yes you're okay and Hashem loves you the way you are then your chuba is come back to yourself to reconnect to yourself because we're disconnected and what happens when somebody's disconnected everybody acts differently some people don't think and they do everything right but they're disconnected some people are shut down they do nothing it's not for me because they're disconnected now they wouldn't want to connect because the second they connect they meet themselves and their belief about themselves really like me the way I am if she loves me you're making me feel good thank you you're just making me feel good but really you if you would know what I did or there are various so let's take a deep breath let's come back to ourselves let's become aware of that inner child how does it feel and be there for that in a child who else could be there if not you now that you're an adult you can sit down and think if it's right or wrong you can ask and go back to that inner child and be there understand why the inner child feels that way and don't dismiss those feelings they have it for a reason and start building that initial we meet some young Kipper is coming up we have now 10 days of Osiris in mature and you keeper and um who's excited about it we're close to Tasha for some people it's hard they don't want to hear that word close the Hashem makes them anxious and then your Kipper comes so they might do everything right to go to show do everything say all the words and then at the end you tell them it's a new Fresh Start nah don't sell me the Brooklyn Bridge I've done it before I know what it's all about and the whole yeah and I'm just some people are disappointed and sure everything is great they feel good they're gardening and yes it could be they feel a little bit more connected and it's really amazing and things work out and then they come home like whoa I thought Everything's Gonna Change I thought it's going to be a new year everything will will be good and you're back too late what's going on over here everything is the same so we don't really need to change our external it's the internal it's how do I feel with the everyday mundane things yes with my routine so that's very important you know yes you go to show so those who still go to school and we have to look back thank you again wherever you were shown about Hashem if you were able to hear that kiss you were able to dive in a little bit thank you not everyone's able to do it not everybody did it some people have no interest and I can share with what you have connect to that so that's really part number one of tonight's to become aware of where you are and many of these things that I discussed just in this these few minutes might be subconsciously not aware you might you might have made it it could be made a decision a long time ago not to think about it and if I ask you now how it was and say no it's good it's fine beautiful everything's good everything's fine you know I did yeah I dive in at my place and now you're back home but deep down it's like the feeling yeah it's just another year thank you again do the same thing again it's missing something's missing that that's looking forward to understand it on on the way that you should like it the young kids are associated with children so I would recommend yeah every day one Capital tele take a few minutes close your phone go in a place where it's quiet relax and just become aware of your thoughts and if it's easy if you can let Hashem in let them in if not just sit there with yourself open that to them and just say one cup of kilometers to be with English if you understand it and when you finish I could be able to tell them tell yourself thank you and slowly you'll build yourself up okay so that's the awareness now we're gonna go into Part B which we're not going to have a Wednesday night class of next two weeks or three weeks I think the next one is going to be after sometimes Toyota Mata and we're going into unknown territory for many people for those who love routine with those when the routine Works they're okay now there can be a lot of anxiety worry and many different feelings because things are not the norm and that's also important to be aware of what's going on where you are you're talking about some families flight attitude for circus and then there are those who are looking for a meal they don't even have where to eat and all of those in between and I wonder where you are we all have our story whatever the yante looks like and where we go or where we don't go and who comes and if we like it but we don't like it because this is a very good time to become aware and for some tips of how to be able to manage with those feelings triggers different things that come up different beliefs for the next few two three weeks submit to sharing with all of the exciting yantus so number one writing a journal just for these three weeks if you didn't do it till now find yourself a note in a notebook write down spend a few minutes every day write down how your day was and what it does is it helps you be an outsider a little bit first of all becoming aware be with those feelings just write down this I didn't like this I didn't like just two three minutes and then right you know tomorrow I hope A and B I'm not sure if it's gonna work just write down your thoughts eventually after you write for a few minutes you can go to the but write down five things five things that you're grateful grateful for but I'm not going to tell you to jump to that right away because I first want you to become aware of whatever it is positive or negative so step number one just write whatever the thoughts come up positive or negative after after that if you're doing that you can add five things that you're grateful for that things have worked out and you can thank Hashem even though there were ups and downs which we all have and the song We like some we don't we could always find something that we're grateful for so that's to be able to journal another thing is self-care we discussed self-care a while ago but self-care is to give yourself a few minutes to give yourself something that you need and step number one for self-care is enough sleep and make sure you eat well and take care of your physical needs because that's number one if we want to become in touch with our emotional needs a lot of it comes from our physical needs if we're upset if we're tired if we're hungry you could have wanted you could imagine what our emotions look like we can't control it then so the first step is a little bit of self-care understand what your needs if you can spend some time with yourself give yourself what you need so that when wherever you are if you're in a challenging situation you'll be able to be there foreign if you could some people can't it could be hard if you don't have any quiet time for three weeks straight that is very hard you can have time to just sit down close your phone and just breathe take a walk outside the nature all by yourself or with a friend if it's easier if you could but if you can't you might have to do it after the three weeks you tell yourself I need to take care of myself and now I can't Mr sound when you get back to routine you'll give it to yourself and that's part of self-care so to be able to tell yourself you know now I might go through a challenging situation it's hard for me but when I get back home or when things calm down I'll Pat myself on the back I'll buy myself something something just a quality or very simple go go for a walk just so that you can be there for yourself with that inner child for that feelings that come up and you're aware of it you're not suppressing it and then you can take care of it talk to it and treat it whatever it needs now that doesn't mean by doing these things you're not going to get triggered but what it helps is that when you do get triggers when you do have these feelings you're a little bit ahead of the game you're aware of it and it can help and even if you find yourself that you did get triggered you got angry and you're upset about yourself don't be so harsh understand that it's okay and you're human and understand that it's okay to lose yourself once in a while whatever it looks like for you could you get upset I'll just share something that's I got some feedback which this is something another good idea to visualize this was a story um some people have challenging appearance in-laws whatever it was and sometimes it's hard for the son-in-law daughter-in-law whatever the story is before you go to sit down in a quiet place and imagine yourself going imagine what it looks like when you meet the first time you go inside to look what you know it's not the first time you're there you know what it looks like imagine you're in it and you see yourself getting upset so again there's two ways how to visualize and I would say you should do both positive and negative you visualize first all the negativity everything going wrong it's do you me you forgot everything at home you get there and they're all upsets and you get upset and everybody's screaming and just imagine that and you're like you hate it just imagine like 10 days that way and just when you imagine just take a deep breath and just see it see it happen so that helps because when you get there half of it is not going to happen so you're already on the good side and when it does happen you've seen it before it's not new and those triggers when it's something that we've seen before or thought about it before it's different the trigger is not you know it's not so tense you've been there it's like yes this is exactly what I imagined here it is take a deep breath you're ready for it okay so that's a negative and and the feedback that I got it it works and then do the positive positives look like look imagine everything is working out everything is great you're relaxed even though there's some people that are a little upset but it's okay everybody's enjoying themselves their food is delicious it's just good you get there on time everything works out you get along with everybody and you just see yourself very relaxed sometimes it's hard to believe but if you imagine that visualize it now when you go and you're actually in in it when you're experiencing it I can't tell you what it's going to look like but these from these two visualizations to be able to see it from both sides you'll have something in your pockets that's gonna work whatever it is and then if you're journaling write down what worked what didn't work and again it doesn't mean everything will be perfect because we're not perfect and we're good the way we are we're good so I want to wish everyone a democracy simulator everybody in their Journey wherever you are whatever you need essentially listen to all our Phyllis we should be able to connect ourselves to True vote ourselves first come back home and then I can connect to Hashem my creator but from a positive lights and understand if I have some negativity where it comes from and now as an adult be there for the inner child and say you're still okay I understand but you're okay and if you can stay up the whole night then you can't say the hotel I mean you can't die on everything you can't be there and you have to be at work it has to be worst case scenario just can't be unsure you're still okay really yeah what what I know I know it might be hard for many but you're still okay and this is where I'll tell you you are exactly where you need to be and this is where Hashem wants you to be and this is where Hashem wants you to talk to him this is where he wants because this is where you are and love yourself the way you are because Hashem does thank you very much have a good yantus and I'll see you in Miss Hashem the Wednesday after foreign thank you thank you thank you thank you very much