Transcript
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any
questions yeah
yeah I'm still kind
of if you can about we're talking about
free choice uh how do you see this in
the in the views of when Adam was uh was
made to like when God said to him from
the Tree of good and B
right so that I want that that in the
context that ra When you mention lab
that ran said that there is no really
free choice so that no was what about to
happen what is the lesson if you can
amplify a little bit more sure so again
free choice we have but our free choice
is limited
meaning if the free choice that we have
is there's two ways to understand it one
way to understand is what we've said
till now and another way that we'll say
something we mentioned yesterday about
free choice so most people think of free
choice is you could just do whatever you
want and whatever happens happens we
live freely like the
zebra the zebra doesn't have to pay
mortgage doesn't worry about uh having
kids if the kids come the kids come they
don't come they don't come they don't go
to some fertility doctor and start
crying to them saying no please give us
a discount no
problem that's a zebra human beings on
the other hand we have different
problems we worry about stuff like that
so we understand at a very young age
there is a consequence for our actions
for whatever reason or another we were
led to believe that we have consequen
for our actions in this world but for
whatever reason or another there's no
consequences in the other world in the
next World this is wrong
this is
wrong what most people believe here is
that you could do what you want and
nothing's going to happen which is like
saying you go to work you make money if
you don't go to work you don't make
money this is false belief real belief
What God Says what rambam says and what
all the sages say is that we have reward
and Punishment we can do whatever we
want and Hashem already knows what we're
going to
do but we're going to have to pay the
bill
if what we're doing is good we'll be
paid handsome reward if what we do if
the choice we make is bad then we'll get
punished so what is it like in the same
context it's like saying if you go to
work you get paid if you don't get to
work the boss sends people to your house
and beat you up that's what we actually
have so instead of saying we have free
choice it's more precise to say we have
choice not free choice our choice is not
free it's choice right choice or wrong
choice that's what we actually
have free choice is really more of a
misnomer it's not it's not appropriate
word for for for it but that's the word
they use in
English now as far
Asar Adar was given technically the
ability to be the only human being on
Earth Hashem created him originally by
himself he didn't create him with and
the reason why he he did this is to
explain to us that he was worthy enough
for the whole world to be created just
just for him similar to how it was worth
it for hem to create the entire world go
through the entire anguish of am and
everything that's ever happened for you
you each one of you it was worthed for
hasem to create the entire world for you
to say Amen one
time you say Amen one time it's worth it
for to create the
world someone says Kad people
say's name it was worth it for hm to
create the world he said it's like
saying amen a thousand times so it was
worth it for hm to create the world a
thousand times just for you
saying so was originally given the
ability that the whole world was within
him was was around him he was the only
one Hashem said yeah but sees he's
naming all of the animals and he sees
all the animals of a
mate and he's feeling sorrow for it that
he doesn't have one so I gave him
one now they had the ability to live
amongst themselves
freely and Hashem said listen at this
point there's really one
mitvah that you need to fulfill and that
mitzvah
is don't eat from the Tree of
knowledge don't eat from the Tree of
knowledge now if you look
at which we talked about in a different
time it says when hasem put the trees he
gives description of uh how he built
ganeden it says that
he the tree of
life he put
in the middle of the garden the middle
of the
garden it's in chapter
2 verse
n it
says so andm God caused to sprout from
the ground every tree so all the trees
were created on this day that was
pleasing to the site of good for food
because initially you weren't supposed
to eat animals didn't eat animals that
only start with
no cabala says the reason why is because
each being has to have a tun and
everyone after the generation of Noah
everyone all the be beings went down one
level so everyone had to fix themselves
and one of the ways that an animal fixes
themselves is when we eat them and we do
a blessing but anyway the uh
verse continues and the tree of life is
in the midst of the garden and the tree
of knowledge of good and bad so here we
see that there's a little bit of
a twisted of twisting words here where
it says that there's a specific
place that's called inside which kazal
says the
middle but to means
middle or inside inside the garden
there's this tree of life
but there's also a tree of
knowledge now we know for
sure that Adam and Adam and Eve knew
where the tree of knowledge was why do
we know because they ate from it so the
Torah doesn't have to tell us where it
was because already ate from it we knew
that eventually ate from
it but after he ate from
it in chapter 3 verse 21
and 22 Hashem
says and Hashem God Made For Adam and
his wife garments of skin and he clothed
them he gave them a gift after they
sinned in verse 22 it says and hem God
said behold man has become like the
unique one Among Us this he's talking to
the angels knowing good and bad this is
after they ate from the the forbidden
fruit from the Tree of knowledge and now
lest he put forth his hand and take also
of the tree of life and eat and live
forever so here we see that Hashem all
of a
sudden has a new law initially he told
them don't eat from the Tree of
knowledge he didn't say Don't eat from
the Tree of
Life he didn't say Don't eat from the
Tree of Life he said don't eat from the
Tree of Knowledge Tree of Life he never
mentioned anything about it other than
the fact that he had it inside the
garden but now after he ate from the
Tree of knowledge
he says hey get him out of this Garden
get him out of ganeden why so he doesn't
eat from the Tree of Life why so kazal
explains to us that the only reason
why wanted to
eat from the Tree of knowledge was not
because he wanted to go against
God it's because he wanted to fulfill
God's Will by himself to the fullest
extent forever
now he
knew that he's bound to
time and his time is going to end at
some point however long it's going to
be but he wanted to honor Hashem and
sanctify his name forever because how
could I honor hem and sanctify his name
forever if I live forever so first I
have to live find a way to live forever
then I can honor AEM forever with a
peace of mind so he chose to eat from
the Tree of knowledge why so he could
find out the knowledge will give
him the exact map of ganeden and the
exact directions of where the tree of
life is why so you can find the tree of
life so you can eat from the Tree of
Life and honor hasem
Forever This is why hasem said initially
he said the tree of life is inside the
garden he didn't say where he just said
it's inside the garden but he didn't
worry about eating from the Tree of Life
why you didn't worry about eating from
the Tree of Life he doesn't know where
it is
he doesn't know where the tree of life
is it's inside the garden but he doesn't
know where it
is it may look like every other other
tree it's inside the garden but he
doesn't know where it
is because anyone that's
smart what would they have done first go
eat from the Tree of Life know that if I
eat from the Tree of knowledge has is
not going to punish me because goes
against the tree of life so I'm going to
live forever then I'm going to eat tree
of knowledge but what do he do he eat
from the Tree of knowledge why because
you need to find out where this means
where this inside of the garden means
why because I want to sanctify H's name
forever I want to learn Torah forever so
he made a choice hasem says it's the
wrong choice you used your logic and as
great as ad was was wrong
wrong now we can't compare ourselves to
even his fingernail of the fingernail
that he cut and throws on the ground
we're not like
that what's the what's the source every
Shabbat we do have the at the end of
Shabbat
and you're told that you're supposed to
look at your
fingernails with the reflection of the
light against your fingernails why the
mid explains is this this is to remind
us of how shiny the
skin of was where it was really like
diamonds now we don't have diamonds on
Earth the best thing we have is when we
have a manicure pedicure and everything
else all shiny you put it against the
light looks even extra shiny it's the
best thing we can get he goes that is
not even close to what looked
like all 600,000 Souls that were were
Mount saai were originally
inside but he still used his logic and
it was a
mistake it's a
mistake for why did he do the logic for
hasem he said no no I'm gonna honor hem
with a I make my own mistake this is why
kazal says that
when
rimai believe he had a dream and
Adar came to
him he says you know tells
Rish you
know my real Sin you know what my
mistake really was no one really knows
what I did that I got the punishment
that I did there's like suffs there's
doubts there's things like I just said
that are possibilities maybe yes he says
the real thing of what I did only you
know you know you know the real Sin you
must promise me that when you get to
ganeden don't tell
anybody why it's too
embarrassing what I got punished for the
the the Precision of
a the tiny little mistake that I made is
too embarrassing for me that I went
against hem with something so
small why I thought I was honoring
Hashem but in reality it was a mistake
because hasem sees everywhere he sees
your logic he sees your free choice he
sees that you think it's a it's the
right idea it's a good
idea and he lets you do
it but he'll punish you for
it the benefit the greatest benefit you
could possibly get is getting punished
here because here it's temporary it's
bound to time
having some in this world it's bount the
time it's supposed to end at some
point it ends suffer for a year two
years five whatever long time I have an
aunt honestly I think she's the job of
this generation she's aad most of her
life amazing woman but honestly all you
hear is suffering after suffering after
suffering she's going
into one child died another one is in
jail and she's
sadik lost a husband even lost a son I
mean horror after horror after horror
but she stays strong and glued to Hashem
glued she says if I didn't believe in
God I'd kill myself there's no other
purpose for me to
live when someone believes in
God they know they have a purpose they
know everything is
temporary it's temporary it's bound to
time the suffering is bount the time
eventually I'm going to see my son in
ganed eventually I'm going to see my
husband in ganeden eventually we're all
going to be in a better place everything
that's here is bound to time it's going
to end at some
point better here than there because if
I'm suffering there it's not bound to
time so when the sages say a tiny little
punishment
G is worse than 70 years of the life of
job job suffered for one year if you
read the book of
job by the time you get to the second
page of the Book of Job you do chuva by
the time you get to the end of The Book
of Job you've you've done chuva five
times his suffering that he went
through they say it's not possible for a
human being that's why some people say
maybe it's not even a real story it's
like a parable that m wrote some people
actually have some sages say it's can't
be can't be somebody Liv through this
all in one day lost 10 Sons lost all the
money was a multi-billionaire lost all
the work he got so sick the worms were
coming outside of his body they were
coming out of his body not inside
usually you have worms coming inside he
has worms coming
out he said the life he
lived was for one year
kazal is telling
us suffering like he did 70 years he
suffered for one year there's a book in
the Tor written about him there's 24
books in the Torah one book is about job
he suffered like this for one year
there's a book about him there's no book
about me there's no book about you him
there's a
book you suffer like him 70 years he
says it's not like one minute in G why
it's not bound to time
so the best thing we can do is two
things
one understand that this free choice you
have is not so
free there's a price for this free
choice it's not really so free
two give hem a
little at the end of it all he's still
your father he's not going to give you a
test you can't
handle he's not just punishing you for
the sake of punishing you he's doing you
a favor you just don't see
why he gave you the flat tire to save
your life he gave you less money so you
make less
sins he changed your marriage status
because there's something better coming
along all these things that are
happening to you that look bad the very
same R AKA that gave us this mishna also
has another one he says everything he
does is for the is for the best meaning
that there are infinite amount of ways
for hasm to take you from point A to
point
B Hashem always picks the best choice
why he loves
you because you're a son you're his
daughter he loves you even though that
choice may look like it's a rough ride
it's shaky the plan's going up and down
like when you go to Panama by the way
there's I think from what they told me
there's like five different ecosystems
or something like that or different
temperatures when you're about to land
every time we landed and or took off in
Panama we thought we're going to die cuz
the plane M seems like it's like a
propell plane even though it's a huge
plane it's shaking like we're being shot
at in the middle of the Middle East why
you're hitting at different air sockets
and this sockets I don't understand this
stuff all I knew is that it's going up
and down up and down up and down up and
down and me and my wife were looking at
each other and we start
say giving on ourselves
already we don't know what's happening
we went to Panama five times in one year
for business we're still in a business
world we became religious on the
plane scary sometimes the right in life
is scary the right in life is scary
sometimes this one passes this one's
sick this one does no money this one
this this one that is telling you I know
I did it I pressed the button I pressed
go remember last week we said my little
daughter ready said go says I was the
one that said ready said go I pressed
the button I did it I know it's
happening my son I know it's happening
my daughter I know it feels like pain to
you but wait till I show you what
happens wait till I show you the
end you're going to forget the
beginning when you see the reward that
hasem has ready for you if you did
good you're not going to remember that
was ever
bad the the memory of anything bad is
going to escape you they going to
remember it
it's going to be not even a distant
memory it's just not going to exist it
just
disappears anyone that experienced real
good in their
life when they're experiencing good they
don't think about bad they don't think
about bad there's no bad when you
experience pleasure there's no
bad if you're still thinking about bad
then it's not good
enough that's what Hashem wants for you
he wants you to not feel bad but you
have to get there to get there it's a
little painful it's a little shaky it's
like the Panama
trip no next question so I just want to
finish shorter
answer yes uh each one of these
questions a whole Sho no no but it was
great it was great so so that's why we
can reaffirm what you said then because
we don't know what the right choice is
that's that's the the whole meaning of
the sure we make mistakes okay
make the choice we know what's the right
choice the choice is to honor hasem the
way he told us to sometimes we want to
do it our own
way our own way more times than not is
the wrong
way I'll tell you something last week I
told everyone a
story that um someone took it upon
themselves to rebuke
me young guy
religious he uh decided that he has
nothing better to do in his life
and he decided that he has to contact me
and tell me that what I'm doing is
wrong what I'm doing is wrong I left the
business World left money left
everything I live off of Miracles the
only asset that we had left we sold so
we could pay for the
organization for what for to do CH you
give lectures for free you travel any
way that you were welcomed to give
people the opportunity to do Chua and
find the truth but that is wrong why
because it's not the way that he was
taught he was taught different way he
was taught the way that
99.99999% of the rabbis are doing it
that's the way he was taught which means
that my 0.1% is
wrong and how does he know it's
wrong what was his way of showing me
that he's wrong what was the way that he
was showing me that I am in the wrong
direction because he's smarter than me
because he is religious his whole life
because he had better teachers than me
and if I didn't see the first time he
said he's smarter than me and he knows
more than me and he read more than me I
don't know maybe he was in in my house
he saw everything I read so he knows he
already read more than me he's half my
age by the way but he knows more than me
and he's smarter than me and if it
wasn't enough the first time or the
second time that he told me these things
that he's smarter than me and he knows
more than me and has better rabbis than
me and everything is better than me and
I'm just this little
peon then he reminded me the third time
also that he's smarter than me and he's
better than me and he's good to me
and and if that wasn't enough I stopped
responding you know usually in
life it's a good idea to run away from
pain it's a good idea someone inflicts
pain on you it's a good idea to leave
only a fool will
stay so someone keeps sending me
messages that is insulting I stop I
don't respond anymore good luck for you
you think you're smarter you think
you're better you think you're this good
luck to you thank you very much maybe
you are smarter maybe you are better
maybe just do what I'm doing go ready
said go so this was last
week the intention in his mind was good
the intention was good because he was
trying to correct me I knew it was not
good
little bit of experience in life told me
it's not good the reason why is because
if you really cared
about then you wouldn't be focusing on
me you'd be focusing on
them now I'm the guy that tries to help
people do
Chua if you're saying your style is
better do the same thing show go do it
for a year go do it for 5 years go do it
for 10 years let's see go but in instead
of rebuking them for violating Shabbat
instead of rebuking them for going
against the Tora instead of rebuking
them for not being modest instead of
rebuking them for all the other sins
that we're doing what are you doing
you're rebuking the guy that rebukes
them so this obviously showed this is
not the right
direction but if that wasn't enough that
wasn't
enough he decided to come to my house
unannounced oh
no now
decide to come to my house
unannounced and offer me a peace
offering now usually a peace offering
requires us saying okay I made a
mistake
sorry
peace something along those
lines
now if somebody comes to you he says
listen here's a
cake but everything I say I stand by my
words I still know more than you I'm
still smarter than you and I still know
that what you're doing is
wrong does that sound like peace to you
or does that sound like
Palestine when the Palestinians want
peace what are they saying yes yes we
want peace just give us all of Israel
die and everything's going to be
okay die give us all the
land everything's going to be
okay it's no real this nonsense it's not
peace so we have to understand there
is truth there's
falsehood there is ways that work
there's more than one way that works
but before we start questioning the
Creator before we start questioning the
world around us first we have to
question the person we see in the
mirror where do you
stand are you
it are you
okay you can't tell people to keep
Shabbat if you're violating
Shabbat you can't tell people to work on
themselves if you're still don't know
anything and don't want to do
anything when Kaz says don't rebuke
people because maybe nobody's in a level
of rebuke they didn't say no one's
allowed to
rebuke they just said don't rebuke
people about things that you're not good
at can't tell people keep Shabbat if
you're driving on
Shabbat because you're making a mockery
of the whole
thing so there's a right way there's a
wrong way to do things
there is simple way there's a hard way
hashem's way looks hard in the end it's
easy the other way looks easy at the end
it's
hard no
next okay
um just I think you're ready
that because in the T doesn't say
explicitly that that that the
girls from
M went went to the
people right the
idea say that because in the Tora
doesn't say let's see
let's
see chapter 25 verse one uh Israel
settled in the shim and the people began
to commit harlotry with the daughters of
moav it says yeah but but but says what
I'm saying it was Bam's idea's idea
Bam's idea it says here also
uh it says it's not a uh like you said
it's not explicit but it says that bam
and
uh right it's a midra where he says he
gave the idea to balak they had a
meeting and he gave and Bam rose up and
went and returned to his place and balak
also went to on his way that's in that
place that's where the mid says that
right before he left he left after
giving him the idea so it's not explicit
as the verse I just said to you but yes
that's the exact point that it is that's
verse uh uh 20 uh
yeah that's when he gave him the idea
there's also another verse that says in
the Torah where he gave him the idea I
think it's maybe uh 10 verses back uh
mentions that he uh I gave him an idea
ah yeah this what it is
um so during the time that uh in verse
uh
15 it
says he disclaimed in his Parable and
said the words of bam son of be the
words of men with the open eye so here
this he goes through uh different things
that he says are going to happen at the
end end of days and mashia and so on
right so during this time is actually
when uh kazal says during this time he
also gave him uh some details of what to
do what to do right to put a stop to
this mashia thing because he thought
that if this succeeds it would destroy
the entire nation so the thing would not
happen and he knew that was there was
when he was there also he looked at
Israel from the mountain but he didn't
come down
uh I mean was was there I don't know if
he was there at that very moment there a
m of whether stayed with is throughout
this or whether he went back to Midian
to convert all the people because
there's a m of whether he ended up
leaving or not some people say he left
right away some people left after 12
years or so some people say he never
left uh there's a few different opinions
of what happened in's life uh but
whether he was here at this particular
moment or not is I don't know for sure
yeah I'm not sure for
yes these that died ended up
reincarnating as the 24,000 students of
oh wow know that
one and they also got killed for their
own sins and they had to be reincarnated
again have to be reincarnated again yeah
couple of times couple of times and this
is also uh 24,000 after after
uh uh after R AKA I escapes me right now
if I think of it I I'll tell
you but the number 24,000 appears a few
times a few times throughout Jewish
history
but for me personally I have tried and
not very successfully sure so I'm not
sure how to handle a situation with
somebody who's very close okay so here's
here's the thing as far as the sages
saying that no one knows how to give
rebuke they did not mean what people
translated to be meaning people today
think that since we're not perfect we're
not allowed to tell anybody else to
change this is absolutely not what to
say SES said okay because we were never
perfect even at the time of the sages or
ever even mosenu was not perfect he
still made mistakes he still made a
handful of sins or less in his level but
yet he was the biggest rebuker in
history okay as a matter of fact if you
look no further than the prophets
where's the uh t t is right next to me
you look at the
prophets and you see something amazing
the book of
Jeremiah in uh chapter 4
verse
22 it says for my people are
stupid they have not recognized me
they're foolish children and they have
not and they're not Discerning they're
not
wise uh they're only wise at doing
evil but know not how to do good this is
from God himself rebuke he calls us
stupid children not really a
compliment we go on we go we go back a
little bit go back a little
bit and you go to Isaiah prophet
Isaiah chapter 1 verse 4 until the end
of verse
9 W their s sinful Nation this is Isaiah
talking to wo there a sinful nation of
people weighed down by iniquity evil
Offspring destructive
children they have forsaken Hashem
they've angered the Holy One of Israel
and he goes on and on it's gets much
worse by the way much much if he was
here today they'd throw him out of the
synagogue but then later on if you go
fast forward to verse 18 He says to them
come let us reason together says hem if
your sins like Scarlet they'll become
white as snow meaning Chua is available
Chua is available even after all this
rebuke the job of all of the
prophets was the same what was this job
rebuke the
people go to the people and remind them
that what they're doing is
wrong says when mosenu when Hashem took
back his soul Hashem cried he says who's
going to rebuke my people like
mosenu hasem likes
rebuke this is why he instilled it in us
and we all must do it if we want to be
good
parents what's the sign of a bad parent
a parent that never rebukes their
children a parent that doesn't tell
their kids how to behave is growing is
is growing in his house little
Hitlers that's what he's doing if he
doesn't tell them how to behave they're
going to grow up to become little big
Hitlers or terrorists so the whole thing
is is yeah with the terrorist though the
mothers helped them become terrorists
sometimes it's different type of rebuke
a little crazy rebuke but the point is
that as far as
rebuke you have to do it you know how to
do it you know how to do rebuke because
you had kids or you had somebody else's
kids you had brothers and sisters you
had to rebuke somebody in your life but
the rebuke came from a good place you
not telling your kid hey don't do that
because you hate him you're telling him
hey don't do it because you love him so
it's not a matter of doing rebuke or not
doing rebuke it's
about you must rebuke your brother but
don't come to S do to it meaning you
have to just know how to do it doing it
we all have to it's a it's one of the
613 Commandments is to rebuke your
brother your brother means your sister
your brother means your husband your
brother means your wife your brother
means your son your brother means anyone
that's part of the
nation so rebuking is a Mitzvah just
like keeping Shabbat is a Mitzvah
rebuking is a
Mitzvah how to do it first rule of thumb
make sure it comes from a good place
don't tell him to keep Shabbat by making
fun of him that he doesn't keep Shabbat
and he's a loser and he's an idiot and
he's a this and he's a that don't insult
him into keeping Shabbat don't tell him
oh
you're a fool and you're this you're
that explain to them the cost of not
keeping Shabbat explain to him that he
he's missing out on something but he
doesn't know what he's missing out on
explain to him come from your heart not
from your fist there's a way to explain
it even if sometimes your heart hurts
your heart will cause you to tackle your
kid because he's about to put his finger
in the uh electric socket your heart
hurts at that point but it's necessary
so tell them listen is putting his
Judaism on suspension it hurts but it's
going to get him to pay
attention so first is knowing what
you're going to say before you say it
and knowing that it's coming from a good
place that's number one number two also
know your own
limits you have to know your own limits
there are certain people that you should
rebuke there are certain people you
should not rebuke yourself yourself you
should always rebuke but not yourself
meaning if it's a friend of yours
or a family member or someone you know
or you don't know but you think that
there's at least a 50% chance of them
listening go for it strategize think
about it do it especially if you know
how to talk if it's someone you know for
sure is not going to listen to you don't
do
it but give him a
CD give him someone else it's going to
rebuke him indirectly give him a that I
Didi did or anyone else that you like
that actually
rebukes and say Hey listen this is a
good CD this is a good shoer what's it
about it's good I don't know it's long
just watch it what is it about it's I I
think you're going to like it I thought
about you when I heard it don't give him
the details don't give it out get the
Curiosity to get him to watch it or hard
to watch it it's good you're gonna
you're gon to like
it that's why they give you previews of
movies they don't show you the whole
movie don't the the preview is two
minutes
movies two hours why because two minutes
G to get you curious enough to pay 20
bucks to go watch two
hours same thing here give him three
words it's really good why amazing why
make up something it's three words limit
it but get somebody else to rebuke him
why because you know he's not going to
listen to you or she's not going to
listen to you because he's your brother
or he's your sister if it's your big
brother he's never going to look at you
as anything why because he's your big
brother if it's your parent they're
never going to look at you as anything
because they're your
parents if it's your husband or your
wife it depends on what kind of
relationship you have some husbands and
wife are great at rebuking each other in
a good way some it's a terrorist
attack so don't do it but know that you
still have to do it how bring somebody
else into the picture give him a CD give
him a lecture give him the
answer
indirectly by the time he realizes that
it's the answer and he starts doing it
he's going to forget get it's even your
idea but who cares he knows in sham it's
your idea you still get the credit but
the fact is you win enough just by
seeing them do
CH is not
to deal that situation until they do
from the point of now to the point of
doing chuva you have to obviously hold
your ground or the wife has to hold the
ground the husband have to hold their
ground uh and keep Shabbat they're not
allowed to violate Shabbat themselves
because their spous is viting
Shabbat and they have to hold their
ground and say listen this this means a
lot to me this is important to me and
I'm going to do it at the very least you
could respect me by not getting in my
way you don't want to go somewhere else
you want to go to the beach while I keep
Shabbat do what you got to do but at
least don't stop me from doing it that's
the very least that someone anyone with
decency would
do uh people without decency what do
they do they try to do daa so I've heard
of situations where the wife didn't want
to do chuva so and the husband did so he
was keeping Shabbat but she was smoking
a cigarette inside the house and
watching
TV why she didn't like it TKA that's not
a good situ situation that means there
the deeper problem in the marriage more
than
Shabbat if it's a healthy marriage then
it's going to be at the very least some
type of decency and respect where at the
very least they're going to either leave
or they're going to keep it somewhat
whenever they violate they violate
somewhere else they're not going to use
the phone in front of you they'll use it
in the
room they're not going to watch TV in
front of you they're going to watch it
in a different room that's a healthy
marriage and he's just not ready to do
chuba that's fine
but little by little they'll want to do
it one of the reasons is because you're
showing them the truth the other reason
is because if it's a healthy marriage
he's going to miss you so just be
patient have to be patient hasem is
patient waited for us so many years for
us to come back we have to be patient
also again can't be too patient to the
sense where we're just yeah even if he
does Chine 50 years from now it's okay
because we don't know how much time we
have but we have to be patient in a
sense where we know that there is as
long as there's progress patience is
Justified as long as he's
watching he's learning there's some type
of something happening there's some type
of sign of Life be patient but if like
there's no signs of life where he's not
watching anything he's not listening to
anything he doesn't want to listen to
anything he doesn't want to hear
anything and he's getting worse then
obviously you have to press the gas
padle a little bit more
so as long as there's some type of
progress go keep
going thank you
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