Basi Legani 5726 #:4 Your Destiny Can't Be Created in Consciousness; It's Rooted in Your Mystery

Okay, good morning everybody. Welcome. So, we're up to the fourth year in Basilani in this. It's page the second the second paragraph. We're holding the second paragraph on the page. If you want the source sheets, they're uploaded on the yeshiva.net. So you can retrieve it or print it or just have it if you want a kaz or those who are watching virtually or listening. So we have the source sheets so they can upload it or follow inside. You see page the second paragraph. [clears throat] This series is dedicated. It's also dedicated by David Phillip in honor of the reblim the world over. Thank you very very much. So we're holding vuan. Yeah. Okay. So a detailed summary of the previous classes. I'll ask everybody to listen to the classes but to re remember here the last flow and just to use the words of the mimer is that when we say that itself there's what's called which means that on one hand and he says and these two levels exist in and not only that there's a massive difference between them. What it means is that in itself [snorts] being that's called light of which is not just light of the but the light itself is as explained in the previous classes in previous part of the mimer. So this light has with within it what's called which is its capacity or its dimension of revelation. The fact that it expresses it manifests it transmits it transports. Light is a messenger. Light reveals. That is what light is. That's the word light. That's why the word light is used of course metaphorically but that's what it's used. It's used as the term that expresses the fact that it reveals it expresses it brings forth in the words of is giloyu just like any when we speak about physical light the light of the sun the light of the moon or anything that emits light and the concept of light is to be able to let us see. So that's one of that's the it's [clears throat] allows some form of revelation, perception, experience of of course we're talking here in its deepest form because this is the itself goes throughum and many and then the is tailor made and customed to the receptacle of for each world that's already all in. But the of in its most pristine source is called even pre and all that that's all the but because is [sighs] a true vessel or a true channel a true channel I should say a true channel for that which it's revealing. So it reveals quote unquote its source including that in its source which is beyond revelation because its source is not defined by revelation. This is where the sun the metaphor of the sun falls uh short. The source of the of course it has the capacity to reveal but also it's completely beyond any form of definition, revelation or description. So you would think, okay, that's not the business of O is like, stop. That's above my pay grade. Literally, that's above my rain. I'm light, I'm going to be light. I'm not going to be dark. [laughter] You can't have it both ways. You don't have the cake I needed to. It's not my job to control everything, right? I don't control anything. I'm light. I'm going to be light. I'm going to be darkness. >> It's not in the job description. Nobody sent me in the memo. When I was hired, I was hired to be don't don't stop start uh giving me new job descriptions that will completely break me apart that will cause me a breakdown on every level including defy my very name. So that's the that's what we explained the bit of because the whole Indian of is the surrendering of true concept of light is it's B. So was that the iss real means in the true essence of you can only say it has no beginning. It has no end. It has no description. It has no definition. You just gave it a name. But because of the it channels everything including that which is what's not concealed because the receptacle is not ready yet which is called relative means not more concealed than all things concealed. It's a different type of concealment. There's a concealment because you're not ready yet. On a higher level it could be revealed. On a lower level it's not revealed. Yeah. So it's it's concealment that's relative here. The is it's not as he says it's never going to be that was the it's never going to be it's not and that's the itself. So one shouldn't think for a moment that if it's never gil so why you why is it and what's the point and not only that this is the treasure that we're talking about that's given to the soldiers to fight the war it's not it's never going to be big means stop talking about it you have no access to it and there wouldn't be a mime about it just say there's things we don't understand we don't relate to have a good day do your job and mix out okay fine okay [laughter] a human being is a human being and we're limited. There's things you have no relationship with. Okay, it's not it's not not the end of the world to hear that. Even in much much lower levels, we don't know most things. We can't figure out a cell yet. We we know how the sun works. We know how everything else works. A little bit tiny tiny fractions and glimmers of information. After thousands of years, we get access to it. Everybody knows that there's much more we don't know. The VA is it's also communicated. That's why it's an but the way it's communicated is not it's not communicated through flow through communication which is usually what does rather it's it's communicated but it's communicated this is going to be the vert it's communicated through the that through the helm through the concealment but it's a communication which we'll soon which we're going to get back to that In order to explain this this started that this is connected to two types of mak mak of and mak of and a he starts explaining a long explanation about a teacher and a student that was our last point that in a teacher and a student he's talking here about the ultimate real teacher and the ultimate real student and the ra and the not to each other so when the rav teacher the of the communicated is it's completely in a different frequency. So there's three things that happen. Number one, there must be a in order to filter and condense the information that the student should be able to receive it. And when he does that, there's a part that the student really absorbs and integrates. That's what's called pimi. Meaning it goes in. Pine is this is versus when you say mak the word like right it surrounds but here we don't mean surrounds as in physical space surrounds means it encompasses it from above and it's not integrated from within because whenever something has a relationship with you but it's not a relationship that you can hold on to the word haga comes from the word to attain comprehension And attainment is the same thing. There's holding on to a cup physically. And there's holding on to something intellectually. It's the same concept. It's in your grip. It's in your fist because something could be inside of me. You know, I got it. I have I have the ball. I'm holding on to it and I have the idea. I'm holding on to it. There's a form there of you really grasp it. That's why it's called haga. I grasp it. I got it. Whatever. I can't say that on because I don't have it. but it has me. That's called mak. So there's a relationship and there's an effect and and often the effect is much deeper than the effect of pi cuz it's not on my terms. I don't control it. It's not on my terms. It's on its terms. So sometimes the impact is much much deeper in a person's life. You know that that which impacts us subconsciously is far far deeper and more powerful than that which impacts us consciously because what impacts me consciously there's could be some filter. I can discern. I can discriminate. I'm not going there. subconsciously. >> Yeah, it's it's above me. It may impact my entire life. Everything in my life may be impacted by this or at least a lot of my life. So that's not it's not it's not impactful. But it's called an impact of mak because it's above my vessels. It's not integrated in my own understanding. I'm not I'm not aware of it. But me not being aware of it doesn't make it not powerful. On the contrary, sometimes it bypasses my awareness or transcends my awareness. It's more powerful, more potent. So there's the part of the idea he says that goes into the Talmud in an integrated way to the point that there is complete fusion. He calls it a from Tanya. But since he's a student and the teacher wants to give and wants to connect. So it's not that the the teacher is trying to get away with cheap stuff. you have a you're talking about a real rav the real rav means that this is this is this is neaya to him this is this is relevant to him so it's not like I want to just give you know a few a few crumbs and then I was y that's not what we're talking about he wants to give everything but he wants to give everything to the student not to himself [snorts] so he has to consider the reality of the student so because of that he says there's those things that are could be integrated There's those things he says that are called and that's what the gammorra says it may take 40 years until the teach student understands it but not that after 40 years he's going to go back for a new lesson this lesson is going to seep in after 40 years that means already the first day it was connected to him this is called one day it's going to become pimi right now it's still aloof and sublime but it's going to go it's going to come in And then he says so by the there's things that even after 40 years he won't get the student won't get that's called. So you could think there's no shak to the student. So there's no question no connection fine. So there's those things he can't communicate. He says that's not the fact that he's saying the word mak means there's a connection. As he puts it, it's it's to the talmet. However, this was the last line. The shik is in a way of it's connected. It's communicated. But the connection is not through the regular channels. What we call flow gilo. The connection is through what's called mak. This was our last point. In order to explain this starts a whole here. you have an Indian it's called means remote and yet it's called which means it's communicated if it's so remote that he doesn't even have any connection to it and he's not going to understand it and after 40 years nothing is going to help because this is completely not out of his league so don't call it mak so it's a separate thing you're saying it's not but and he explains many of the mitzvah according to one of the early so there [clears throat] he explains I think it's mitzvah the building if I'm not mistaken he explains but he gives a perspective what is this of that it also has an effect and he gives an example. An example of this you see a person here below me understanding the mechanism of the faculty we call desire will and he explains you have the life force of every organ in the body which is a a tailor made custommade vitality that enclos loss itself. It's embodied in every limb according to its chemistry in y according to its capacity, its chemistry. That's called a kay that's tailor made and accustomed and literally filtered to be integrated in every limb according to what its chemistry and capacity is. For example, the eye is built in a way, it's incredible, right, to study what the eye is. But the eye is built in a way that it can facilitate the power of vision. The nose is an amazing organ. The heart is an amazing organ. But they simply don't have the ability to allow you to see something. The nose can give you other capacities and the air can give you other capacities. So here is where the and the kali are completely fused. the the the the the vessel of the eye, the physical eye is designed in an extraordinary way. You have to have mi millions of optic nerves that meet perfectly. You're talking about thousands and thousands of senses. It's incredible just just from studying the eye. You don't have to study anything else in the physical world. You just study how the eye is made and developed and it's simply impossible that it happens randomly unless you have a lot of amuna then you could believe that. But intelligently it's hard to believe. And the same is true with every single limb. So you're talking about 60 around 60 trillion cells in the body. Each cell has a different functionality to be able to create that a that limb which is suitable to channel this particular life energy that comes from the soul. Another example is the power of movement walking motion movement through the leg. The eye is galdic but with the eye I can't walk somewhere. and the leg is but with the leg I can't smell and I can't hear yeah that's the famous you can't compare there's the life force that's being channeled in the brain through the brain because of the uniqueness of the brain two three pounds of jell-o but those two three pounds of jell-o sitting in our in our skull has the kay that the channels which is really the central nervous system for the whole body and you can't compare that to the life force that's channeled through the heart which is responsible for the circulatory system for the blood and then you have the arm and then you have the and of course there's another billion examples for this every sing I mean at least hundreds of examples every single limb in the body so this is a mushel for what is for the first level of what the teacher is giving the student there's a complete fusion between the and the kal between The kios which is the spiritual life force of the soul which meets the body but it encounters different parts of the body which become channels to facilitate that particular kayak through this kali through this vessel and you can't compare it. Yeah, of course. What vision does for us is not what hearing does. It's not what smell does, right? This is what your kidney does. This is what your spleen does. This is what your liver does is what your heart does is of course what your brain does. This is what you my legaces. What I need my digestive system and my stomach and every every a has its nic. And you can't compare the two. It's a different functionality. It's a different mission. It's a different purpose. Even though they're all working of course in in absolute synchronization which allows us to live you know if if they decide to get into a you know that's bad news but now there's something else explains but now there's something called desire where where is desire very interesting where is desire you say desire I don't know what desire huh so when you speak about Rotten you say raten is in the eyes. Raten where does ratson live. So he says yes. A person has a desire that I want to understand. I want to learn about this. I want to explore this. I want to get into this. I want to go see this. I want to go walk. I want to go here. I want to run here. I want to get here. this he says even though the way the ratson comes out is I'm going to open my eyes to look or I'm going to go travel to this place or I'm going to go learn and explore this topic. So the way the ratson is being executed is through these particular organs. I can't go I want to go somewhere but I need my legs. You have to tell your legs. I have to tell my eyes it's time to look. I have to tell my ears, "Open up. Listen. Listen. Don't don't don't uh fall asleep or I have to tell my mind we're going to we're going to explore this." But is not it's not settled. It's not uh contained contained in a particular vessel. Then there would have been a division. that the should not be similar to the desire to see or to walk. But what you see is that the essence of is identical everything it's so he says three words because what rats really is is it's the gravitation of the soul. It's I want it's the soul is when you're leaning to something, right? Like my says means the soul is being pulled to something. It's gravitated towards something. That's what is I am moved by something. I'm drawn to something. That's and therefore he says that essence is it could be I want to understand. I want to go here. I want to see. I want to hear. I want to eat. I want to sleep. I want to whatever it is that I want. What it's doing is going to be different because it's using that particular a which has its own mechanisms and its own rules and its own limitations. But the which is driving it, the fuel behind it, he says that's identical because it's but the affects all the organs. Even though the action of these limbs happens only through the individual integrated life force which is manifested in the limbs in a contained way. It's true. You need to use that of every limb in order to execute the but what is the motivation? What opens up? What motivates that individual to actually come into actualization to see and to go and to understand it affects its even though it's not contained in a particular kali it's not limited to a particular organ. You say here is the versus here. No, the is a mak but it's not a m that's completely in its own world. On the contrary, it's a mak that affects all of the all the pim by this kayak which is and that's why it's not connected to one organ more than to another. The nikud of is I want and it's going to express itself in every one of the organs because its relationship is not one that relates to the particular chemistry of that organ. It's rather af that all of them are part of all of them are connected to >> operating system. >> Yeah. That's the operating system. Yeah. >> Huh? >> It's like a catalyst. >> It's it's the catalyst for all of them. Yeah. That's why it's the Yeah. So what's what's what's the here? It's a very deep It's a it's it's >> Huh. [laughter] That's funny. I'm saying it looks as he's saying something uh it could be deceiving this it could be a little deceiving the simplicity of it. Yeah. I want okay I want to walk I want to what he's bringing out that two completely separate systems in the in the soul. One is a system of pane one is a system of mak. It's it's two systems. It's like two different operating system and they have different rules. When there's a relationship of pimi, it's always about the vessel, the identity of the vessel because you're it's always about making sure that you're speaking like a teacher and a student. I have to know the grade, the brain level, where the person is, what type of information, and then you have to condense and cut and tailor and and give the information, feed it in a way that's appropriate. >> Size it out. >> Yeah. Always size it out. in Shabas is one of the called right when you cut when you cut something the right shape the right size exactly for what you need that's how pine works pine always works with that's the definition of pine because it's a relationship so the relationship is I have to really be in tuned it's called in tuned to where the other person is and if I'm not in tune to where the other person is what do you say his words went right over me that's exactly what the word over me would mean over me words don't go over you under you. It means I don't know what it wasn't really relating to me. And that's a special. It's a special to be able to really, you know, bring things down in a way that a person could really go away and I own it. To put it differently, the one who gets it feels that they own it. That's how much that's the gift. You gave them something that they don't have to attribute to you anymore. You gave them something that becomes theirs. Like a real student is not just repeating what he heard from his teacher. He got it. It's now it's his. That's why I have say it's really his in in a beautiful way. That's what pim means. Pimi means I can go home and I can say this is mine. I didn't even get it from anybody. That's how good the teacher was. He's so good. Yeah. They once in they once had a debate who what's more important the sun or the moon. So they after seven days they decided that the moon is much more important because the sun shines when you don't need it daytime. It's daytime. Who needs the sun? The moon is a it's pitch dark and the moon gives us light. Yeah. So he's so good that you don't even need him. Yeah. Like somebody once said he said the gumar he was learning gumar rashi said it's so clear. I don't know why you need rashi. Why rashi has to elaborate? That's how good rashi is. [laughter] We were learning. You were there. Which maka? >> When I was teaching GA, which maka do? Huh? >> No. No. Here. But in yeshiva, I was once teaching. >> So years. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't remember. Okay. I do remember. I don't remember if it was your class. So, uh, so we were learning. So, the opening of, >> huh? >> It's not. [laughter] So, it says, so the mission says, is late on is that's the opening of is the night before so asks over there a question I don't understand you only need so why do you have to do just be just say is and you're good that's what asks so he answers we're afraid of course you could do but if you do and you leave the in your house you could come to eat it so therefore they said IT'S NOT ENOUGH YOU You have to doika and you have to do beer and you have to get physically rid of the so I remember there was one of the boys sitting there gazinski was his name and he is he gives a scream out he says who's going to eat and pes which whom is going to eat this does not make sense nobody's going to eat and pes I said your question proves the validity of you understand because if there would have only been bit people's preparations for pes would have taken five of in the morning before midday you would say all is I'm not interested in it and that's it let's go make the sed because they we drove ourselves crazy for thousands of years because and so now you jumped up which mishug is going to eat right the worked so well that became such a craziness on pes you you your question is proving that you don't understand what happened proves how successful it was. I'm just giving a marshall. That's what integration means. It's so it it became so part of me. This is me. This is I I don't even have a source. I don't even need a source. Right? That's the gift that the teacher gives the student. That's not that is it's not relatable to the particular kali. It's not relatable to the particular vessel. It doesn't tailor make itself. It doesn't filter itself to become defined by that kal. That's what it means. It remains mak. And when something is mach, it could be mak a lot of kale together because it's not communicating in a way that is individually relatable to each vessel. And every vessel is different. And that's the difference between ratson and for example if I want somebody to understand something, if I want somebody to understand something, I can't tell them I'm telling you understand. They say, "Okay, with Kabala, I'm going to understand." You're not going to understand. Understanding. I have to work with your vessel. I have to fashion it. I have to work with it. Why? Because it's about you. But when you say ratsen, right, a commander can talk to uh 500 uh troops and say, "Go a go." And they all go. And not only that, they're marching in a uniform fashion. Why? No two people are identical. Because what you're connecting to is not the which is integrated every person differently. This is more the coming out in which all all of them are unified. That's how mak works because it's not it's so here too in the person it doesn't relate doesn't relate to every a individually there's the element of the nephesh that's like a teacher that fuses with that particular vessel with that particular limb and that limb functions in a unique way and no two can be identical and it's based on the diversity of that's the nephesh expressing itself I want and now everyone responds yes I need to be able to use the eyes if the ruts is to see. And I need to be able to use my legs if the ruts is to run or to go somewhere. And I need to be able to use my brain if the ruts is to immerse myself in in an intellectual pursuit. And I need to be able to use my heart if the rats is to open my heart. And I need to be able to use my arms if the rats is to do something with my arms. Whether it's to paint or to write or to play piano or to give sodaka, I have to use that hand. But what what what's the force behind it? The force behind it is which is and that's why there's no division there for this for this for that. It's all the same rat even though it's different. You can't compare a experience to a vision experience. You can't exper experience a smell to an experience of hearing. You can't experience what my legs what my legs accomplish and do to another experience. Every aver has its own unique it's like a different music. It's a different experience but the rats is the same because the rats is a mach which is which unifies all of them. So even though it's above them it affects them and how does it affect them? It affects them not by integration that it becomes their thing. They don't even have to understand the regal doesn't say I need a more explanation. It's not about explanation. This is what I want to do. This is what you do. If I tell the student I want you to understand, you have to understand there's no way he could. Ratson I could respond to through BL I can't respond to through BL. I need to be able to be open to it and have to be transformed from inside. Now you you get the And that's why you see he says here of art that musen is very interesting words very deep words the essence of roten is identical in any there could be a raten for haskcala There could be a to move with my legs. There could be a rat to hear something. What I'm going to be doing is different. But it's why because it's the being driven by something. So, and that's so even though there could be hundreds of different activities that are diverse, but it's all one. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you see this when it comes to the often it's never about the objective value and reality of what is and people who say is this is this has a lot of ramifications in life. You think what the mind of what what the roen is never the objective value of that which is wanted visav the big picture it's what's the big deal because the nikud of ratson is not about the objective value of something it's about that I want it I want it so if that desire is not fulfilled or even ignored or denigrated or made fun of it's not who cares about that I want it if you care about me that's the v of ratson it's nas it's what I want it's what I need now I may I may be confused about that it could be a ratson of the nef of the neah could be a ratson coming from a very wounded place it could be a ratson coming from a very authentic and deep place but it's not a question of what you want it's a question that you want >> in relationships This becomes extremely important. Yeah. So a person says, "I want this. It doesn't make sense. Why should you want it? It's nothing. I'll tell you what you want. I'll tell you what you want." Maybe your analysis is correct that objectively this desire versus this desire, it's like a joke. First of all, this is much more expensive, so you should want this. This is much cheaper. [laughter] Or the other way around. But really it means you're tuning out of the whole idea. It's not relevant. What? It's relevant that I want this. If I matter, it matters to you. You say, "Yeah, but but this doesn't make sense to me." That's not the point. I want it. So if you don't do it, you're betraying not what I want. You're betraying me. You're betraying my soul. My soul. That's my soul. Yeah. A child growing up, an infant wants a lot a lot of things. >> Yeah. Is everything objectively so some things are very very important, you know, eating and going to the bathroom and all these things etc. But not necessarily everything is objectively really of priority in life. So you tell the child this is not neg in life. You really don't need this toy. You really don't need this chocolate. Right. So sometimes, yeah, if he's been eating chocolate all day, he shouldn't have another piece of chocolate or another lollipop or another cotton candy. But completely ignoring it, what are you telling the child? You're not telling the child the lollipop is not of relevance. You don't matter. Your needs, there's no attunement to you. Your needs, your desires, what's missing is attachment. Attachment doesn't mean everything I want is the best thing. That's not nea. That's a separate Indian. It's a good discussion. what you want. It means that I matter. It means that my soul is valuable. It means that my soul is connected to somebody who cares about it, who wants to be there for it, who's attuned to it. That's what drson is. When you have a relationship and somebody says this, I need this or I want this. And you say it doesn't make sense to me. You should want other things. And this is what happens. And I'll argue with it and prove how stupid you are. [laughter] may not say those words but certainly how unintelligent this is and I can even show you data and we can even ask Chachi BT to have his opinion if it makes sense and I'll prove to you that it doesn't make sense and now I'm expecting you to be happy and thanking me for my brilliance and my genius showing you what you what you want is absolutely stupid. This happens pretty often, >> huh? >> With kids and also with adults. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it happens also in more in more among more sophisticated adults people. What's the issue? What what are people not getting here? This happens kind it doesn't make sense. It does not make sense what you want. So what I'm supposed to dance a game that doesn't make sense? What's the issue here? And something is not working. Somebody's very very upset. The answer is rutson is not about what it's about the relationship I I want. Now we have to emphasize sometimes I may have a ratson that's very toxic. I may be in touch with my trauma my nephahamus only my animal consciousness and my rutsen is very very uh it's it's it's superficial. It's poisonous. It's dysfunctional. Okay that's that's my healing. We're not getting into that. There's the rat of the of that comes from many many wounds. But the of the of that created is that your soul matters and that the soul has needs and the soul has desires. This invalidating that is invalidating the person. The nephesh that's what is neph. So you say yeah but you wanted a small thing. I understand if you asked for something big says it could be the smallest thing in the world because it's not about what I I I I'm asking you to to to to get me a cup of water. The world is not standing on a cup of water. I'm asking you to go pick this person up. I'm asking you to go to the store. I'm asking you to take out the garbage. Whatever it is, it could be a small thing. I want five minutes. Put away your phone for 5 minutes. And what if I don't put away for five minutes? I said the whole world stands on this. But the that's the if you're talking about an objective reality that's called then the question is what is it? Let's analyze it. It's it could be something connected to my leg. It could be something connected to could be something that's going to take me 5 years. It could be something that's going to take me 5 seconds. But you you ignoring that is you're ignoring my soul. You're ignoring me. IT'S I WANT WHAT I want. Okay. I want this. I want this. I want this. I want this. You understand the vert? ultimate is not that you subjugate the desires to do this is that you subjugate the actual of the so the actual just the it's need for for for wanting subjugates that and the doesn't even know what it what it's but now the national case has control over the so it's it's able to control that just that need for for wanting >> it's it's subjugating the the will of anamus and that like the bull captures the bull just >> yeah yeah yeah there's I think was rash it's in the sus of the freed again I once saw few years ago from theat I think it was I don't know test 4950 was last year was I think it was one of those years so they say in the it was meal the was living at 770 in the second floor that's where he passed away also that's when he gave out the basil so this was that rishana maybe a year before so there's one of the bakram was serving so it was the night of rishana by the meal and he served a piece of fish he So he gave to came over to the Reb to the Rebayat and he gave him a piece of fish. He put it down and I guess it says there I guess the Reb was fat. He was his mind was somewhere. So he like he was like staring at the fish like you know he stare at something. So the poor guy thought there was something wrong. So he says he thought maybe he wants a double plate. So he says he says he asks me if I want the word desire is too powerful to relate to a second plate. [laughter] If I want something, I want something want a second plate wanting is is you [laughter] my soul you understand that's a few years ago so I don't remember the lion is exam but something like that I was like they say she was once traveling somewhere for shabas and uh so there was a big sadic in the city I don't remember [clears throat] was of measure bush when the big came so he asked him if he could speak with him shabas so he said yeah but on condition that you don't do all your ecstasy here by me you know there's no jumping on tables there's no dancing there's no screaming you have to be what we call normal okay if you want so says no problem you're making the condition yeah okay comes the fish yeah so the waiter comes out and he turns to the he says fish. He gives a scream [snorts] and he starts jumping on the table. Sing Lebed. Whoa. The bad was fireball. Okay. Sh. And he did what he did. He went into apologize to to because he made a condition. So he said, "No, no, no. It's fine. It was amazing. Thank you for the most amazing shabas. He says, "But I violated." He says, "No, I wasn't talking about that. I was talking about not to do anything prepared. That which you did spontaneous, that was perfect. I just didn't want to [laughter] prepare it." Says it was perfect the way it had to be. >> Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Want a second plate? He was allergic to that description. Wanting is natias. It's what I want. Now, I may want a second plate. You have to be honest. You have to be honest with yourself because if you want a second plate, you want a second plate. You want a second piece of fish. You want a second piece of fish, right? You're going to say, "Yeah, he used the smoked a lot. There's pictures from the early years." And I heard this from Freriedman. I think he heard it from Rabbi Eaul Jacobson who I think was there or he heard it from the doctor in 1940 or so he came to America so the doctor came into him everybody would smoke then and he said that they found out medically that um smoking is really unhealthy and the is suffering from health issues so he has to think about uh you know minimizing the amount of cigarettes as he's explaining this to the doctor takes out a cigarette of course because that's what you do and he gives one to the and he takes one for himself and he takes a match and he's ready. So the Reb says, "What are you giving me?" He says, "I'm giving you a cigarette." He says, "I don't smoke." He says, "I don't smoke." So it was like a joke cuz he was explaining. So he says, "What do you mean you don't smoke? I have to explain to you I didn't smoke." He says, "I used to smoke till you came and you explained to me that medically it's not good. Now I don't smoke anymore." And that was it. That was the last cigarette. So such a person could say there's such a uh deep connection with the self, right? [snorts] But that's the nikud of ratson and that's why ratsen is so important very often and I want and and and this has to be understood with sensitivity not with narcissism but a healthy person emotionally healthy person could say I want why why >> I want I need I want that's what now sometimes another person who's usually unhealthy will argue with that you want you want you want. A child who grew up with attachment knows how to say I want. This is important to me. Maybe in a year I won't want maybe I need to work on myself. But the concept I want should never be delegitimized because that's a kayak that Hashem gave. That's that's the soul itself. Ratson is the nephesh. Everything else is a kayak that comes from the nephesh that's integrated according to an a ratson is mak. It's the expression of the soul. what it expresses itself could be in a tiny thing. Could be a cup of coffee. Could be a piece of fish. Could be go learn for 10 years. That's what it expresses itself. But what is it? It's an expression of the soul yearns. THAT'S I WANT. YEAH. My soul is moved by things. I want. It's important to me. Delegitimizing that means that deep down I'm suffering from a core that feels shame in its existence. Did you understand what I just said? That's why I'm embarrassed with the concept of I want I don't I want who's I the eye is stupid want is stupid probably what I want you understand there's a shame around I want that shame is not about a real expression of the soul that shame is a message you say but but sometimes when people see people are crazy about their needs so they learn they say you know what I'm not going to want anything it's it's it's it's a way of coping I'm not going to want anything if I don't want anything I'll be a celibate You know people I don't need I don't want garnish and then they resent you. You ask somebody do you need something? Nah. You want you know the mah who came to collect money. So he comes to the guy's house. He's collecting whatever. So the guy says fish. Can I give you a PIECE OF FISH? NO. WHAT DID I COME TO EAT YOUR FISH? Tells his wife bring out the fish. He eats it in six seconds. SOME SOUP. N I CAME TO EAT YOUR SOUP. Bring the soup. He finishes THE SOUP. FLESH. NO. WELL, I CAME HERE TO YOUR MEAT. What am I? Tells his wife, "Bring him three pieces of steak." Within 20 seconds, it's all finished. Then he turns to him. He says, "Kat." He says, "Yeah." You understand? Shiny. Finish the Sometimes it looks like saying, "I don't have wants. I don't have needs. I don't have desires." No. No. A real soul has desire. The question is, it's my kiss. But has more desire than Bahamas, not less. It's being in touch with the fact that there's a real vibration that God is communicating through your soul. That's >> that's what it is. >> Basically to recognize though you want, but just to >> yeah to recognize where the want is coming from. If I have a sweet tooth and somebody here they serve nice cheesecake in the morning and I know that the cheesecake is going to make me sick and depressed and anxious and depleted, right? I could recognize that I may have a craving for it. I could recognize that. But I realize that that's a craving that's coming from a very very superficial self that wants to distract itself. And it's not a ruten that's coming from my divinity. It's not a coming from my authenticity. We can have a lot of I can have a crush on somebody. The crush is basically coming because I'm in a broken place. I'm in a broken place. I'm not in touch with my own energy. And I think that if I have their life, where I have a relationship where they validate me, suddenly I have existence. So this is where scaffi is very very valuable. You you could recognize it. You can have compassion for it and then you could say I'm not going down this rabbit hole. I've been there yesterday. I've been there last year. Been doing that. And this is true in everything that we do. But escafia doesn't mean to delegitimize the experience of rats. Right? The whole is all you'll see how much on on the contrary the bigger person just like we learned before the greater person has more because it's not about ego. The greater the person, the more ruts, the more desire. Because it's not the ratsen as I'm afraid you're going to call me a narcissist because if I want anything, if I feel that I'm not allowed to want anything, so any desire becomes evil. So my way of protecting myself is I don't want, I don't need. But really, I am en rage. You see people who forgo all of their desires. They often have an anger that is so deep, but they're not allowed to feel it either because they're not allowed to feel anything. But there's such a deep anger there and it comes out and that's why they have to disassociate because they don't want to. They're good people. They don't want to hurt anybody. So if I disassociate from my emotions, I don't have desire. I don't have anger. And I'm a but deep down there's a deadness over there because the person had to die. A real person that was nurtured, their identity was nurtured through attachment. And and and if not, I I find it somehow through me me and God and my relationship with Hashem. Desire is a very real thing. >> Yes. >> Deserving. Yeah. You're deserving. You're you're a matas. Not in a bad way. Yeah. The ratsen for bitt. Yeah. That's the greatest ratsen in the world. But it's a ratsen those who learned the shas. So yesterday's tany was pericidal. The beginning of per no I'm sorry. Shabas beginning of pericidal. So says that the benon he says a very fascinating words that the ben is not somebody that emotionally is always failing a hashem. Sometimes, yeah, but sometimes I could feel other cravings or other disastrous emotions that are completely that will completely be make me dysfunctional. Nonetheless, the bayon has the ability to be able to stay anchored and in control when it comes to thoughts, words, and behaviors. Not instinctive thoughts, but thoughts that I choose to think about, what I choose to sp say, what I choose a behavior. And is the person the B says to himself yeah that I don't want I don't want to be separated from Hashem even for one moment I don't want to because it's like a death sentence. It's very clear that to be disconnected from Hashem means to be disconnected from truth from reality. I don't want to. And he says even though other people sometimes delude themselves that through this sin they're not being separated because it's just a small thing when I'm just saying a little lie. What's the big deal? I'm just eating garbage for a few minutes. I'm just deceiving you for a few minutes. What's the big deal? I'm not robbing a bank. I'm not stealing $50 billion. Whatever. I'm doing up a little thing. So, they delude themselves. They're not being separated. Orb says some people forget how important it is for them to be connected to Hashem. He says, "I don't want to be a fool like him to deny the truth." It's recognizing. I don't want to be separated. I don't want to Yeah. I don't want to be detached. I've tried it. I've tried to be detached. I tried to be disassociated. I tried to be disconnected and distract myself through another 100,000 good things and it it was nauseating. It was sickening. It was torturous. I don't want to. That's rats. I don't want to or I do want to. I want to stay connect. I want to remain. What's what's the holy of hashem? That deep down your only real desire is that you want to remain in a hashem 24/7. >> That's what it means. all in. And that's what a that's what a authentic soul knows right away about itself. And every distraction that's going to cover up this desire is actually nauseated. Now I may not be emotionally there. I may have a hard day. I may be anxious. I may be overwhelmed. That's the even when I'm overwhelmed. I could still retain that control when it comes to which is an unbelievable p unbelievable accomplishment because it means I don't have to lose myself just because emotionally I'm having a hard hour or a hard day. You understand? So that's the often. So that's why rutson the smallest thing yeah could be as painful betraying the smallest rats as the biggest BECAUSE IT'S NOT ABOUT WHAT IT'S about who by the way in marriage this is critical advice. This is indispensable advice. It's about attachment. It's not about and and with children and with yourself and with everything. It's it's not about when a couple started but but you don't need the the moment the person the therapist who comes here a lot to the sh Mr. lamb. So he was telling me once or he once gave a seminar. So the couple comes to him. He does marriage therapy here. So the couple comes to him. They're fighting about something. They're arguing about something. Yes. Internet in the house. No internet in the house. We send our kids to vision or to ash. Uh pes will go to his mother or her mother staying home whatever. All these good normal arguments between either couples is perfect. So he says I always they want I should decide. He says listen I'm not the one to decide if there's internet in the house or no internet in your house. If he's sending your kids to vision, it's to which is, you know, different spectrum. Huh? Yeah. We're not going to say which then everybody will that the couple will decide for themselves. [snorts] And uh and uh and I'm not going to decide where you're going for what I want to tell you is whatever you guys decide, make sure that the most important part of this whole conversation remains intact. And that's your relationship. That's your relationship. You understand? Two people can have two opposite opinions and that's very very normal. I want to go pay. You want to go pay? As long as this soul doesn't get damaged as long as there's no contempt. You're such an idiot for wanting this. Now, even if I win, I lost. I may have won about internet or about PES or about the school, but I lost the connection. I lost the relationship. Why? Because I didn't recognize the rats. the there's two aspects. You could be you could be discussing the internet, but there's something else you're discussing. This is what people don't understand. You're discussing the relationship. No, no, we're discussing the internet. No, there's no such a thing. Your wife has a desire here. Your husband has a desire there. That's also an issue that's more important than the internet issue. If that desire is ignored, denigrated, delegitimized because you're a nobody, I don't care. Even if I compromise, say, "You know what? You have all these stupid ideas, but I'm a good husband." Okay, get your stupid internet. Your stupid internet or not your stupid internet. I'm not taking Huh? >> You understand? I gave in. I'M A GOOD GUY. AND I I I GAVE IN LAST WEEK. I GAVE IN a week before. I gave I'm ALREADY GIVING IN FOR 26 YEARS. THERE'S NOT A SINGLE THING I DIDN'T GIVE IN. Why am I not celebrated as the most amazing amazing husband or wife in the world? >> [laughter] >> The answer is one thing you didn't give into and that's called respecting that there's somebody who has a eye that you didn't give into yet. The rats are not I GAVE INTO EVERYTHING ELSE. You have everything you spoiled narcissistic brat. I even have a diagnosis for you. that that that that that's why that's that's the small and the big is not what's I want this. It's my need. Now, you may say the person has crazy needs and desires because they have a lot of problems. Okay, that's that's a valid that's that's where avoided that's where you need avoided. What is my ratson and where is that ruten coming from? If my rats is basically distractions, it's not even rats. It's just a distraction, which is what meant. Tell me which part of my soul needs a second plate for the fish. Just tell me. [laughter] Just tell me. Right. Which part of my soul needs this bag of potato chips? Just tell me. That's a person who's present with their soul. They know who they are. Which part of my soul needs this potato chip? Just tell me and I'll let you know. That's already knowing what real ratson is. Rutson is I want not my trauma wants and not my uh insecurity wants and not my distractions want. I want my essence and then it's then yeah that but but that in of precious. So that's the vert of mak in and that's why if I teach you something an idea an author writes a book a thousand years later the guy is gone but the book is still here the idea is still here the idea lives independent of the author that say ratson doesn't live independent of the one who wants I want if you take away the I there's nothing left of it it's all about his desire or her desire there's nothing objectively that lives outside. That's the difference of ply and mak is the gill and it affects all the how in the same way but every aid is used differently. This is an example of affecting the but this whole mime is based on the idea of even in which is now you have two types of is. So he said then and he explained that there is and bias is food. Lavush is clothes and bias is a home. Lavush and bias are both mif. Food goes into you. It becomes you. It's not a cliche. The food becomes my bloodstream. A lavush is around me. Doesn't integrate inside of me. Doesn't become part of your internal body. And bias is also a mach. It's a home. But is and is in the language of this is son of the explains in his starts off with and it's a whole year of my it's called he explains over there when you look at clothes, a garment. First of all, it's very close to the person wearing it. My sweater, my shirt, my jacket, my socks, my pants, they're close to my body. They're right there. Number one. Number two, they have to be the right size. If I wear shoes that are too big or too small, I can't put them on. The same is true with a shirt. The same is true with a jacket. So, first of all, it's very close to you physically, close proximity to your body. Second of all, it must be a certain size. It has to be relative to your height, to your width, etc. It says somewhere else if the goof if the if the garment is not made according to the size of the person and his limbs, not only does it not help you, it actually makes it worse. It slips you down. You get stuck. You trip. You fall. Your pants are too long. Your shoes are too tight. gets you your you your your your feet get hurt. So the me it it has to be this way. If not get rid of it. The lush is not going to help you. It's just a just a hazard. Mash can take a house. If you have a b house that's very close to you. [laughter] Yeah. You're in solitary confinement, right? Shalom. You're in the hole. >> Huh? Yeah. Very good. That's why you came to Miy saying everybody left Brooklyn because the bias they needed. Yeah. You need a if a bias is right near you what you want with garments don't want in a house. And if the bias fits exactly your size, right? So your bias is 511. Yeah. Good luck. That's not a bias. It's not a place to live. First of all, it's further than you. Second of all, it's not according to the size of the person living there. Hopefully not. You can have one house that encompass many people and in terms of themselves, they're diverse from one extreme to another extreme both physically and emotionally and spirit and they're all in the same house. So is bias is bias. What does how does this express itself in in in desire? We're talking here desire. This is a physical example that it surrounds you. It protects you. The house does something for us just like the garment, but it's in a different way. It's completely distant. It's beyond my shape. The lavush is a mak that I have some relationship with, right? >> It's tangible. I could look two at two shirts and I say this shirt is not mine. It's too small or it's too big. A bias. So it's a makave but it's a tangible mach. It relates to you. It's close to you means it's also my but it's completely remote for me. What does this represent? In that footnote and he explains when the Jewish people said NASA before nishma hashem gave them two crowns is always associated with desire above but there's two crowns there's nasa one is and one is and he explains even though both of them basically the is I'm going to fulfill the desire of my creator we will do nishma we will listen what's the difference we will do we will listen we will do we will obey what's the difference and are two different frequencies is you hear the vert I'm going to listen is also a B tremendous B but it means I want my desire to be aligned with your desire >> listening is the biggest >> yeah the hard part And here listening here doesn't only mean I'm going to listen with my ears and do what you want. Nishma means like it says I'm going to really get it. I want to identify with you. I realize that the only real that is worthwhile like we like I said before if so the only authentic ruts is a ruten that's aligned with source. any other rats is a distraction and therefore ultimately going to cause pain and really disassociation. That's nishma. nishma is I have other itinas but I realize and that's what I want that my desire should be aligned with your desire with source so that my desire becomes a channel for your desire and when a person is in that space that's what nishma is the nishma is as he puts it that's nishma so what's nasa so what's nasa so he says nasa is what's he says? Surrendering even my desire. So what does that mean? What I'm like a robot. No desire. I'm like a dead person. He says surrendering desire. Nishma is not surrendering to desire. It's aligning desire. NASA is surrendering desire. He says so you would think it's like almost like a much lower level. like there's no passion. So no this actually comes from what's an expression means desire in Aramaic is the desire for desire. It's the desire of all the desires. IT'S THE DESIRE that is above all the desires. It's a much deeper desire. That's NASA. Nishma is my desire is channel is aligned with your desire. My desire is aligned with your desire which is incredible big thing. What's NASA? NASA is so nishma is I want to integrate your desire into me. NASA is I surrender my desire completely. I'm doing so there's only your desire. Where does this come? This comes from ratsen lessons. The desire it comes from the source of all the desires. What does this mean? So he explains this in a mitzvah. Let's explain this. What is this in the mitzvah of a person? Explains in that moment. Now tune in here. There's two types of mitzvah in the whole there's two types of mitzvah all the mitzvah all the mitzvah which a person has a desire to do hopefully [snorts] you could have a desire you should have a desire so when you do them from your desire what do you do you're accessing God's desire We make what are we saying? He sanctified us with his mitzvah. It's his desire. And my desire is his desire. I'm accessing and this is Hashem's desire. Now that's tuning into a very deep relationship. Think about in a relationship if you can experience the desire of the other and you say you know what I would love to facilitate this what happens that's real connection that's what real connection looks like >> yeah you make a and you say thank you for sanctifying me and it says because that's what marriage is you married that's what a that's what fusion looks Like it's also true in friendship. It's true with children. It's true with every real relationship. I tune into your this is your desire. Wow. Amazing. And I'm here to facilitate it. That's intimacy. That's what intimacy is. Emotional intimacy. That's very big. This is nishma. This is nishma. Yeah, BUT I'M NOT INTERESTED. WHO ARE YOU? OKAY. THERE'S NO RELATIONSHIP. When there is a relationship, you are the most important person to me in my life. This is your desire. This is my desire. Your desire is my will. Sometimes you need a scafia. That's true because we have just like in a marriage. Sometimes you need to sky. I'm not in the mood. I'm not interested. I want to run away. Okay, fine. Good morning. >> Doesn't negate that there's a deeper desire. Sometimes it's more blocked. Sometimes it's less blocked. That that that's that's part of the human condition that we always talk about. I was once in Australia. So in Australia there was a Yid his name was Rabbi David Groner by label Groner's older brother. So I was there by him. I went to speak there many years ago. So when I came from the airport so the person brought me to Rabbi Groner's office, his house actually. So we sat for a long time and he told he shared with me things. He told me that he was suffering from anxiety. a depression and he was once by the he would come every year for I think the winter time which is summer in Australia and he said that once he was before he was on before he was going back to Australia now even today a journey to Australia is hard and long 21 hours 22 hours then I think he told me when he went the first time it was like four weeks or five I don't know was the the boat it was weeks and weeks in any case so he was once going back so he was inas So the Reba said he was fly. So the Reb told him, he told this to him. He says the Reba said when you're fly you're flying back to Australia, you're flying over the Pacific. Yeah. So he says in the Pacific, you should take your depression and throw it into the Pacific Ocean. [laughter] Rabbi Groner was a big person on many levels. So he says take your go traveling the Pacific. The Pacific is a big ocean. Throw it into the Pacific. Yeah. You know what's pashhat? Well, it would be so easy to take your anxiety and throw it in the Pacific. You ever tried to do that? Go to the ocean, throw it to depression. So, I'm not going to get here. But one vert is the moment a person can differentiate between them and their depression, they're already in an amazing space. Now, it's not always easy to do that because when I'm depressed, I am depressed. But the moment you can differentiate, I am feeling depressed. But there's an eye that's deeper than that. That's already an incredible thing. That's the idea of the sole. You put your sins on a goat. Really, I sin and then I put it on a goat. Beautiful scapegoat. But the ve literally, right? Pun intended. The word scapegoat comes from the not stop. But the vert is the moment I could make a distinction between me and my sins, that's already an incredible evolution in life. So you have to understand, right? when it comes to the often after that sometimes I'm covered over by and I have to be able to contain that but that's the first of this is your wow I get to facilitate it wow that's fusion my fused with your and that's that is marriage that's what marriage that's what intimacy looks like but now But there are mitzvah that are not they're not dependent on your so a big big var there's a mitzvah that you cannot do if you want to do it every mitzvah in the world wanting to do it is the prerequisite I want to give sodaka that's why I'm giving I want to PUT ON FILL NOW MAYBE I WANT TO BECAUSE I did it yesterday and I'm afraid we're getting in how deep the rats is, right? BUT THE VERT IS I want to I want to light shabas candles. I want to separate I want to learn I want to I want to I want to count I want to shake I want to do I want to do beautiful there's no mitzvah without ratson. Like we said before, ratsen is the oxygen, the fuel that motivates every every aspect of the world. Whether I'm doing a mitz with my leg or I'm doing a mitz with my head or I'm doing a mitz with my eyes or I'm I'm I'm going to see somebody. I'm going to do with my ear listening to somebody. I need rats and that ratson is the relationship. I'm aligning myself with your it matters to me. Your rats, I want to facilitate it and and that's our connection. But then there's a mitzvah the says that actually it's a fascinating thing that if you want to do it you can't do it if a person wakes up in the morning and says I want to do every single mitzvah in the world you could go do it you could do and you could do you could do EVERY OTHER MITZVAH THERE'S ONE MITZVAH IF YOU WANT TO DO IT you can't do it which mitzvah it's ENTIRE CAN ONLY HAPPEN IF THERE'S NO DOTS. You have to forget if you say I'm going to the mikvah. I want to do mitzvah. What's a farmer and you harvest your grain and you make sheav and bundles it's called it's called alum like alum right it's called it's basically bundles of gra and then you shle them home or to your silo or to your grain wherever you put them and you forget you forget one of the sheav it was there you forgot it tomorrow morning you come back. Hey, I forgot it. Bring it. No, no, no. You have to give it to the poor man. If you forget one or two, you have to forget. If you say, you know what, I want to be mitzvah. How you could give it for, but it's not. The mitzvah of shik only happens if you forget. You can only forget something. >> If you forget it. [laughter] You don't forget an anniversary or birthday by planning to forget it. Your wife thinks you planned it. But uh the truth is, you know, you're just avail. So this is a it's a funny mitzvah. If I want to do I want to do this mitzvah, God, I want to do 63 mitzvah. Sorry, you got to forget. That means if I'm actually present and not absent- minded, I can never do this mitzvah. [laughter] Somebody who doesn't forget things could never do mitzvah. You say, "Okay, it's not a problem. We're not saying it's a problem, but it's a funny mitzvah. It happens only through what's there's something else like this. That's the of leadership. This is what leadership is. The garra says in somebody who chases after honor, honor runs away from him. That means that says if there's a leader, if there's a that there's even a little part of him that says I like this job, I want it. You're a good guy, but a nussi you're not a vote for me. >> Yeah, vote for me. Not it's not a it's not a I want it. Fine. The whole onas could only happen if you don't want it. So it's a funny thing. If I want it and therefore I'm pursuing it, it's fine. You want power, you want influence, okay? But a ni or not, a real ni or not. And even if a lot of me doesn't want it, but there's an in me that wants it, you know, like the guy who says the best feeling in the world is to do something anonymously and then somebody FINDS OUT. SO OFFICIALLY I DON'T WANT IT but deep deep down you know if I don't want it enough maybe after somebody they say that somebody once came to the getba no you know the his father died and his father was a rebba and he didn't want to appoint him as a new one so he came to the getb I think the basis that's what they say and he said that his father came to he said my father came to me in my dream and he said I should become a rebba so he says next time he comes tell him to come to the in the dream not to He has to convince them, not you. Yeah. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. So, so, so it's a funny thing. If I want it any any career in life, you want it, you get it. You want to go into real estate, go into real estate. You want to become a lawyer, a lawyer. You want to become a computer programmer or a doctor or you want to create a revolution [laughter] in Venezuela that create revolutions. Everything in life you're told benz you need a desire ambitious one thing not nus real leadership but one second but without rutson. So what are you like a robot it's a funny thing needs to be more invested than anybody else. You think real estate you need to be invested. You know what type of investment it's to be a ni to be a truly to beenu [laughter] to be a real reb you have to it's it's your so here you don't want of course a career you need to want you want to sell cars YOU GOT TO WANT YOU WANT TO BECOME A MECHANIC YOU GOT TO WANT YOU WANT TO BECOME A DENTIST great [snorts] here no you don't THERE'S NO NAS YOU WANT YOU'RE DISQUALIFIED SO WHO WE LOOKING for looking for dead people maybe what are we looking for lifeless robots to to see it. So he says these mitzvah are rooted in a place that's higher than it's called not but bias not but not and the only way you can channel it is by going beyond your roten to your roten will not be typhosis because your ratsen can only be typhus hashem's it can't be mak it could be not it can be hashem's but not not not what what does this Yeah. It's fascinating. He brings a story from a gimmel the back of Gmorus. There's something called as the bryus in me is I think it's piml brings it in the mime a story that there was a man who had a farm and he was taking his his his bundles home and he forgot a bundle and the next day he realized he forgot. So he told his son it was the time of the ba mikdash go bring an ax we're going to bring a carbon in the bame mikdash and make a feast a carban schlam and a whole party. So his father, his son said, "Why?" He said, "Because we were to be ma mitzvah." So his son says, "I said every mitzvah you every time you put on filling, you go to the bik and make a party. Every time you put onus, that's what he asked his father." So his father said, "No, no, no. All the mitzvah we do with our das. This is the one mitzvah I didn't do with my das. You didn't do with your das. I forgot. I didn't have das." So for this we need to make a special says why I mean because you were absom minded what's the party you were absom minded you had a hard day you were rushing home you were starving for dinner your wife was waiting for you she sent you a message when you're coming home so you RAN HOME YOU FORGOT WHAT'S THE GRACE of every time you give sodaka you don't bring a carbon you gave me no carbon yeah you give A MILLION DOLLARS FOR NO CARBON here you gave a faka BUNDLE THAT YOU FORGOT WE'RE GOING TO MAKE a so he says and it was the only one without das so this this is the story in says well what's what's the big deal so he did it without d so so what's the gra like you did something in your sleep so you're going to make a so you did it in your sleep this is basically you did something in your sleep you didn't realize you're doing it because if at any point you would have realized you wouldn't have done it you couldn't you couldn't do the mitzvah sobb says this is the vart This is Mak. Well, let me explain. When you say no desire, it doesn't mean you don't have a desire. It means that it's the desire of you that cannot be experienced through conscious desire. It's the part of you that is in tuned with the atsmus of an which is cannot be manifested in a vessel. Not because it's not there, because it's a it has no definition. That which I can experience in my desire is amazing. It's channeling the it's channeling the gil of Hashem. Hashem wants I want I want I want wow and I want to facilitate that. And that's fusion. That's that's connection. That's the first level of it's mak. But it's the mak that relates to me. That's like then there's what does he call it here? What's the desire for your desire? Where is that exactly? What's the desire for your desire? This is the desire that you can't consciously feel. Not because it's not yours, because it's the quintessence. It's the core of you that's beyond anything that you can consciously define. So where is it? So consciously we have a word for it. It's called I forgot. You didn't forget. You forgot nothing. Your core soul wanted something. It knew that if it spills the beans, you're going to ruin it. Cuz whenever you spill the beans on that level, any form of consciousness ruins it. So this is something you had to be blindfolded. You were slept into it. Not because you don't want it. Cuz this comes from the deepest place in your soul that is channeling God's deepest essence which is beyond. It's mak. So how does it come out IN YOU? IT COMES OUT IN YOU IN SHIK. WHY DOES IT COME OUT IN you in shika? Because if you if you're there, you're going to ruin it. Let's talk about being a reba. Not that the ni becomes a nussy doesn't want he's being forced. It's because you're connected to it on a level where there can't be even a drop of ego, a drop of separateness because it's going to contaminate everything. If there's anything that your desire is feeling it, you're disqualified for the job. This must come from the deepest place of where there's complete bitt where you and Hashem are completely one and Hashem is not defined by anything. So how does it come out in actuality? Comes out in actuality the person forgot or this has no relationship with me. Now, it has a relationship with you. It has a relationship with you, with your deepest self. I'll explain it to you a little invite, go into your husband and plead with him to cancel the decree. So Esther told Murd I can't because if you go in without permission you come out with a head shorter. He has to stretch out extend his scepter and 30 days I wasn't summoned and if I come into my husband without permission and he doesn't extend his scepter I'm going to be killed. So then you're going to gain nothing. You'll just have me killed. So what does tell her? Don't think that you're going to be saved. You're going to be saved. Another thing he tells and you're going to perish. What's his final his final line? Who knows? As Debzar says, who knows if this is not the reason you became you became the the Mal. So [snorts] the said should have said something a little more authoritative. Who knows MEANS LIKE WHO KNOWS LIKE ALMOST I don't know like it's above my pay grade. You wanted to go on. So tell her [laughter] who knows who knows who knows. Okay. SO BECAUSE YOU HAVE A question therefore I should go kill myself. I should go into this and get chopped get killed because you have a maybe and maybe not. So he said Mai was saying something much deeper. Esther was asking a deep question. How do I fall into this? I'm a beautiful wonderful Jewish girl wanted to build a Jewish family. How did I end up in this crazy place? So was saying there's certain in life that areas if you try to access them through das you're not going to be able to not because it's not connected to you because it's connected to you on a level of the core of your soul which is channeling God's mak that cannot be contained within conscious desire. This is not something you could plan for because if you planned for it, you would ruin it. This is this is pure infinity. This has to do with your relationship with Hashem. That's and with that he inspired in her to go from her to go. And that's why the of who was the first one to be Esther. Not by getting drunk much deeper. She was by going away from her. Certain things in your life you could plan. You could say I have a desire for this. I'm going to go pursue it. That's not your real destiny. Those things I never thought of. I never planned. It doesn't have to do with me. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't fit into anything. It's not that it's random. It's directed by the part of your soul that is channeling mak. It doesn't come out in hagali. Not because you don't want because it's higher than being contained even by desire. So what's the connection to me? The connection is my essence. It's connected to me. It it comes out in my life in a way that it seems almost like it's detached like we spoke in the last year. Yeah. What the gives the talid not through flow not the student says oh I got this. This is what comes out in separateness. It's what's inside you. it it there's no revelation of it because any revelation here is a limited form of communication. There's things in people's lives. Everybody, you know, plans their life ahead. You're a lot of things we plan. We figure it out. And then there's things in your life. And if you're Z, you know, you you you appreciate it this way that the essence of your soul made a contract. This is my we say in the morning What are those three things are? Are things that you realize this is my these are my talents, my resources, my skills, my gifts, my challenges. is genetics. You know, I got for my father, my mother, my zade, my baba, my family. And then there's something else. What'su? Purim is who are pur? What's geno? What's a gel? If somebody wins a lottery, it's random. Why did you win the g and I lose? It's random. It's nothing. You planned, you worked, you tried, nothing. It looks random. It looks random. What is it really? It's really, it's this essence of your soul choosing something without you knowing that you chose it. Because if you would know that you chose it, your knowledge would destroy it. Because knowledge is ego. Knowledge is control. Even ruts is control. It's so deep that you can't even have a roten for it. Not because you don't have a roten BECAUSE YOU'RE CHANNELING RATS AND LESSONS. And the only way you could get this is through complete surrender. That's nasa, not nishma. There's nasma. Nishma is aligning my desire. NASA is I don't have a desire. So what's my desire? Your desire. What do you mean that is my desire? What does it look like? It looks like complete surrender. This requires a different level of this is where you become a ki for what's it's so it's not going to be channeled in a way that you're going to say ah you're communicating this to me. It's going to catch me also offg guard because it's from an essential place where the connection doesn't look connected. It can even look random. It's almost like thrown off a cliff. So this the father understood this. He says for this we have to make that is channeling of that can't be expressed in in in inos not because it's not inside of me because it's the part of me of that can't be defined. I know somebody who uh grew up with a lot a lot of trauma. Crazy crazy crazy hard stuff. They have very very difficult life. And the trauma led them to get involved in a lot a lot of things. They desperately they desperately needed validation. They desperately desperately needed to be loved. They desperately needed oxygen of feeling that they matter and they exist because of a very dysfunctional situation. So because of that it prompted the person this person to go on a certain journey to be able to make of themselves something that they felt would liberate them from this evil and shame that was living in this person's core. So a person built a whole life around sickness around dysfunctionality right? Imagine I decide I'm told when I'm a baby that I have to be blonde. I'm not. So my entire life I dye my hair every single day. And the worst nightmare is that anybody finds out that I'm not blind. I'm blonde. Imagine. And that's my entire I I even I'm not letting know that I'm not blonde. You understand? This is an example which actually this a true story. A woman once told this to me about her that her mother told her that I love you because you're blonde. There was only one problem. She wasn't blonde. You know what that did to this woman? Just imagine. I love you because you're blonde. She decided she needs a BLONDE GIRL AND SHE WASN'T. I heard this from her when she was in her 40s. What this did to her. Anyway, so here's an example. A person, they built a whole life around deep, deep emotional dysfunctionality, and they didn't even know it. You understand? Sometimes you know it and then it's already you're ahead of the game. It's like, wow, okay, I'm sick. I I need to have a They didn't even know it. They were they were so they were right. People don't know what they don't know. So they didn't The mammish didn't know. They really didn't know it. At some point in their life, they did a lot a lot of work, a lot of inner inner inner emotional healing, spiritual work of journeying towards a deeper place and a more authentic place. And uh this person shared that they looked back and they suddenly realized that every almost everything they did in their life was coming from a horrible horrible sense of deep deep shame of deep deep brokenness. And it was almost like regretting everything and wanting to go away from everything. And this person's mentor told them, "No, it's the other way around. Perhaps your mission is so deep that if you would have known your mission, you would have never agreed. Never." So your soul literally your soul almost directed that you should go down this path so that one day, one day you'll heal and you'll discover your mission and you're already there and now you could use whatever you have in order to build it. That's that's I think the way I understand at least one aspect of what the Reb is saying here and it's true in for every one of us. There's soul contracts that are so deep that if the bin be buil be beans were spilled like here is the program I'm out like we're learning about Mosher Rabenu is the story of Moshabenu right he ended up in Paris palace like please and then like God says oh you're becoming the new Jewish leader me it was never I don't even know what a bitzvah looks like I don't know what Jewish politics is I never ate bub I don't know what herring is how can you be a Jewish leader without you know without a narring never mind alino and he's argu he's arguing with hashem he's like I'm really I don't even talk I I don't can't talk nobody's going to believe what do you want I'm a shepherd in midon I didn't marry a what's v you got the wrong guy he's arguing with hashem for seven days what what is this what is this the argument wasn't despite the fact THAT HE WAS THAT PROVES THAT HE WAS raenu if there was any part of him that agreed to this career. You can never trust him. There's too much at stake. He's the channel for God. Please. Ego. Ego comes in. The fact that Mosha said no, no, no, no, no. God said, "Yeah, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, NO." YEAH. AND HIS NO WAS THE YEAH. IT'S NOT. HE SAID NO. AND HASHEM ARGUED with him. His no was the Yeah. That was the Yeah. There's nothing to do with me. Thank God. That's why you're the person. These are the deepest relationships. Sometimes you look at things that happen in your life or are happening in your life that not all things that people go through with their children, things they go through with their marriage, they go through with themselves and you could say like God forgot about me. [laughter] But the truth is if you do the work you find out, no, this is your ma. These are things that couldn't be revealed. It's not the parts of my career that I can go to to to to school or go to yeshiva or go here and pursue it and get my master my get get master it and and and figure it out and make my money and make those are beautiful things do and make a lot of money and do give a lot of duck and do amazing things. It's all good. That'su it's either your father took her you into his business or if he's a you go find your own business or you also become a you understand it's random this has nothing to do with me this nothing oh now you're good if it has nothing to do with you know what it has to do it has to do with me it has to do with you and me as one of course you can't feel this the moment you feel it you're ruining it. You can't feel a shik comes from OF COURSE YOU KNEW IT. YOUR SOUL KNEW EXACTLY THAT IT WANTS to forget. BUT IF YOUR SOUL WOULD HAVE TOLD you we're doing you would have never been a kay for if the ni says I want to do it. I'm a ni. I'm a talented guy. I'm a genius. I'm a go. I have a good heart. I'm abraenu. I'm the bmp. I'm the OF COURSE I'M THE ALTERB. I'M THE NEXT ALTERBA. [laughter] You know [panting] there's help. There's help available. Now these are normal. There's it's called ego. Everybody has it. I want to make a m. But if there's one that wants it, you're not a kay for this. YOU COULD DO OTHER THINGS. You could go fix cars. could become a there's a letter to the I don't know what he wrote to the but apparently the said based on your letter I feel I I want to encourage you that you should go out of the field that you're in which is dealing with people and uh you shouldn't even deal with animals it would be good for you to be a librarian and deal with books that's what Bish writes to him a fascinating letter he says based on how you judge people it's it's good for you I never saw sad write to somebody It's good. You shouldn't even deal with animals. You shouldn't even be this. You should become a librarian and deal with books. Fascinating. So there's a lot of good careers. It's not a librarian as a think librarian here because that person sometimes liarians are the most amazing people. They love books and they teach people and everything. But he said basically stay away from anything alive. Like books, it's hard to abuse the books. You know, they have their own confidence. They're good to go. They don't they don't need you to tell them that they're brilliant. So these are soul contracts we make and for this the only way to channel this is complete ble complete not only bit that I surrender to God's plan in the sense that I align with it but that I surrender even to know what the plan is. It's a different type of surrender. There's surrender. This is the plan. This is your ratson and I'm here for you. I'm here for you. That's big. That's the first level. This is what you want. I'm here. That's a lot of surrender. But that surrendering where I get it. This is your plan. Tell it to me. I'll do it. I'm fine. You want me to celebrate Shabas? I'll celebrate Shabas. I'll learn and with tremendous B. That's not the B we're talking about. This B is I surrender the need to even know the plan. That's NASA. That's not Nishma. Nishma is I want to hear. TELL ME YOUR PLAN. I'M IN. I I like you. I love you. IT'S A PRIVILEGE TO BE married to you. It's a privilege to serve you. I'm here. That's not bad. That's nishma. What's nasa? >> I want a wonder. Surprise me. >> Yeah. Surprise me. And not because surprise me. Because I I don't I don't have to know the plan. You know why I don't have to know the plan? Not because I'm ashmat. >> Because I'm in touch with a me that goes deeper than anything I'll ever figure out about the plan. So me wanting to know about the plan will actually ruin the plan. You understand? It'll ruin it. That's why I'm not because I'm an idiot, not because I'm a not because I don't deserve. No, because I know my I know how connected I am. This is the deepest form of this is the B. That's the deepest form of confidence. YOU'RE CAPABLE OF CHANNELING ATMOS. Why do you think you want to know a plan? Atmos doesn't even know the plan. Meaning in the in in the level of knowledge that we talk about the level of knowledge we talk about these are all our own stuff. Why do you feel that you have to stay stuck in needing to know any plan and this is what liberation looks like this is this you can only be not through his gallas not through only through it's almost like it's all a mistake. I forgot who FORGOT I FORGOT. GOD SO TO SPEAK FORGOT EVERYBODY FORGOT. Nobody forgot anything. This is the truth coming out. That's what means. It looks absent- minded. So for this he made a special and that's what leadership that's what real nas is a ni a real nasi like mosha a realb is channeling. [snorts] See that's why that's why people don't understand what a realb means. You know people think you know you have covered and you have supporters and people who crate. That's that's not just is that's like [laughter] >> a person doesn't understand what you're talking about what it means what it means to channel. If there's one level of ego and corruption even once in 60 years you're a human being it's fine. Nobody can have tinus but it's such a scary thing. It's such a scary thing because everything is on the line. Everything is on the line and it's not anybody's and that's why if there's even a drop of desire, what is it a desire for? It's not a desire that I want to be big. It's a desire for me to help people. But if there's an of desire here, I'm only I could only channel that which could come into my which can come into my gill to channel which is which is this is it has no to me. In that absence everything is born some feedback. So this you can't plan. They say two two people fail in life. People who don't have a plan and people who stick to their plan. If you don't have a plan, you fail. But if you stick to the plan, it's even worse. You got to take the plan and say, "Okay, garbage ma ma." This is an openness to what seems like random, but it's not random at all. It's just infinity playing itself out in a world that doesn't know the language of infinity. So, how does infinity play itself out in a life that doesn't know the language of infinity? We have a beautiful word. It's called random. We call it gel. That's how our brains who love to control everything make sense of infinity. It's random. In quantum mechanics, they have probabilities. There's a level where everything seems random. That's rand mish random. This is a mitzvah that's mamish random. But this he says is the deepest mitzvah. Why? Because ain't bizgalis. How do we know it's bizgalas? Because nothing else is there. My brain is not there. My das is not there. My plan is not there. Nothing else. So what's there? What's there? This is the desire for desire. So now we come back. So does this mak affect you or not affect you? This ratson that's conscious. I want to do a mitzvah. I want to go see this. I want to move. I want to walk. I want to understand. That's the first ratson. And then there's a ratson. I don't know. I don't have the desire. I don't I didn't want to do shik. I promise you I didn't want to. I don't want to be a ni. I really don't. The tears that real real sadikim of this level cry because they don't want to is unimaginable what it means the tears of it the pain of it so where is the ratson it's this is the source of the ratson this is mak of course it's a ratson but it's not a ratson I want it's hashem in his deepest place wants and I channel god that's it and how do I channel god without any self-consciousness. So, how does it happen? How does it play out? I don't want >> huh? That's nasa. Nishma is I hear and I want to hear. And that's a gaval here. It's the Yeah. I don't I don't need I don't need on the plan. I don't even have to want the plan. I channel the plan. But of course, I want. But it's the eye that is deeper than any form of eye. So therefore, I can't say the words I want. But it's not that you don't want. Of course you want. In fact, THIS WILL IS THE SOURCE OF EVERY OTHER ROTEN. THIS IS THE RATSON. >> This what gives birth to the eye. All the other itinus come FROM THE EYE. I WANT this is the want that makes your eye. So it precedes your eye. So how could your eye be typhosic? Did you understand what I just said? It's important. I want is I. And in the context of I, there's desire. So I want. But then there's the want that precedes the I. I begins with consciousness. Consciousness has borders. You know that? Yeah. It's one of the most painful realities when you realize that consciousness has borders. Anybody knows what I'm talking about? Consciousness has borders. That means you come hit a point and you're like, "All my consciousness lives in a bubble." Even consciousness itself that can literally drive you crazy and cause you a nervous breakdown when you experience this cuz like there's almost nothing real. There's nothing real. Everything we call real is a is a is all born of consciousness. Consciousness itself is a creation. It comes through. Even comes through. The only way you can cross that border is complete b. You have to surrender everything. Surrender everything. Mamish because the eye is born in consciousness. Whatever that eye is and from there come all my sinus. This ratsen is deeper than the eye. The eye is born from that rat. So the eye cannot hold on to it. And if the eye tries to hold on to it, either you just go into a fake little tiny space or or you just live in crazy insanity, which is the most painful reality. So this is like almost it's it's it's back to the chicken the egg. It's literally you have to go out of that. You literally have to go out of the border of eye. And over there there's no ruts. Not because I'm a because you're beyond anything. You are tuning in to the itself. >> So I can't channel it through I want because it's deeper than I. In fact the I was born from that. This is the ratson that makes all the but the way this rats makes all the is not through a conscious flow. It's completely superconscious. That's why it's called lak. That's the only way we experience that is through nasa. NASA is the statement that attests to this experiences. I'm I'm I'm here. Not to know the plan, not to want the plan, not to understand the plan. I don't need that. I don't need that because whatever I say I need is not going to be the plan. It's all going to be me. And this is much deeper than me. This is mea. Mea. Very good. [laughter] Ma. You need mea. You don't need ma. You need right. So Esther was the first one to do. That's why Purim is the ad. It's not to get drunk. It's to realize that the deepest truths of your life, you will never facilitate through das. Don't try. You're limiting it. You're killing yourself for no reason. There's journeys that people are going through. Okay? Including people in this room are going through journeys, very complex journeys. The worst thing you can try to do is try to figure it out. Trying to figure it out. You know why? It's a death sentence on your creativity. People think, "Oh, but I have to figure it. If I don't figure it out, I'm just a bottlene. I'm a I'm not I'm not going to control." It's the opposite. Figuring it out doesn't allow you to show up because then you show up based on what you figure out. And it's usually a lot of pain and resentment. You don't figure it out. You let go. But you have to be able to trust. This is a place of deep trust. Shik is all about trust. I forgot. And God says, "No, no, no. You didn't forget. It's a mitzvah." It's exactly what had to happen. No, no. I'm an idiot. I'm such an idiot. I'm suffering from Alzheimer's. I have dementia. Relax. It's a mitzvah. Go bring a carbon. So how does the Rav give the Talmet? Not through communication. It's the parts where the Talmet is completely separate. What we learned in last year, it's where you figure out that you're you got it. It's all inside of you. Huh? >> Sed in. >> It's synced in. >> You're looking to be a student, but do you realize you are the reb? You are the source. You're looking save me, save me, save me, give me more. I'm looking for the waterfall. I'm looking for the gill which is beautiful. That's all good. You don't get through flow. The flow was interrupted. Not it was interrupted because I don't care about you because this is the flow that you create. You are the flower. This is you. And suddenly you realize that in those parts that you were the most detached, you thought you were detached. It was your soul's contract with your essence to navigate you according to the divine energy that you're bringing into the world. And when you realize that, everything changes. >> Yeah. >> Huh? >> You can't realize it too much. [laughter] You have to realize it enough not to ruin it. Huh? >> Some things you see by not seeing. The once said it was aem you will see my back. My face you won't see. So they said you can also read it another way. You're going to see my back. You're going to also see my face. How? Through not looking. You'll see my face also but through law. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's also but through it's like a it remains a secret even after you know it remains a secret. It's a secret. It's it can't come. So it's not you don't like he said before doesn't come with but not because it doesn't come not because you don't have it. You have it but not in a way of gilly because what's gili? Gil is always identity, revelation. It's contained. Gili means revealed. Revealed means I can talk about it. I can describe it. I can be here for it. When the nasi realizes he's the nussi, there's something about it that he can't recognize even because in the conscious understanding of self, this was not the trajectory. And the level of bal that that takes is beyond what we can usually comprehend. And if there's even one vestage of ego in it, it's contaminated in the deepest frequencies. And whenever you contaminate high frequencies, it's more dangerous than anything else because you're contaminating, you know, source energy. >> Okay, my friends. Huh? [laughter] Tonight is site and tomorrow there'll be a woman's class and our next sh is going to be Thursday and also Friday. So Thursday at 8 and Friday at 8 right here we'll continue the basil. >> Huh? >> I didn't plan anything. >> [snorts] >> Everybody have a beautiful day. >> Surprise. Huh? >> Surprise. >> I hear I hear I hear >> the shabas. Yeah. Surprise. Yeah. It's too surprise. What did you say about surprise before? You said something. No. >> Oh, I want wonder. >> All I want is wonder. Yeah, that's beautiful. All I want is wonder. do that. >> I won't. >> I won't. I really won't. >> I've seen enough not to take it personal. >> Huh? >> This is the story of the something that was contradicated. It's true. >> So there's a mime of the actually he says that for us consciousness is the source of infinity but for infinity there's a huge inab. It's an interesting if is or some of them said is din it's restriction. and everybody attacks them. The other is on the right column. It's flow epiphany. So says both are true. It's and says how. So he says like this consciousness is the glow of it's it's it's the flow of consciousness. Of course it's it's the source of all flow. All flow in your life comes from he says but since consciousness is restricted identity because it's consciousness. So it's denab everything that comes from it it's all but just having that construct of consciousness that is the din that's why it has a ghoul >> that's why it has a ghoul some form of ghoul even the name consciousness awareness there's like a a you're channeling something you're channeling something so he says that is already a nion of din it's fascinating Because the realm of what's called atik he says you can't even feel it not because it's not there because it's beyond feeling always creates borders it creates some type of container >> it's a leap of even say also can be expressed in anything he saysma there's like an epiphany you could almost feel the bliss in the consciousness in this new idea He says the fact that it was channeled into a specific idea already means it's not there's no harasha and there's no nothing specific through which it's channeled >> but it looks like it's in a superposition. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It is a superp position. Says when kesser is counted they don't count das. When das is counted they don't count kesser. was Typher's Dominion. >> Makovs, he pretends he's not >> your Mak It's mach over mak. In other words, even the mak the mak and the pini are equally distant from the mak. It's mach over the mak as much as it's mak over the pi. It's infinitely remote from mak as much as it is for pim. So it's mak for the mak also. The mak also has no sh to it. Because even it's beyond but it's that which is going to reach him. It's going to flow down to him after 40 years. If you're going to use the metaphor of then physically the speed of light right the speed of light is Einstein you find the speed of light when it comes to distance the light you can measure light and the same distance and what is the paradox of light the speed of light forgot exactly the measure speed of light different distances. They still they don't say anything different. >> Paradox. >> Yes.