Bli Neder: Parashat Matot Masei

Now, sometimes they'll make a mistake and say, "No, from now on I I make a vow that I'm going to keep Shabbat." That is a uh uh a nonvalid or unvalid uh vow because if you're a Jew, you already made the vow that you're going to observe all of the Torah and mitzvot at Mount Sai. So, you can't make a vow on something you're obligated to do. A vow is only something that is for something that's permissible and you are restricting yourself. So the first place that people make this ne is if a uh they want to elevate themselves. Shalom used to say that only fools make such only fools. Why? Because if you fail, if you fail at this restriction that you added to yourself, the price you would pay is much dearer, is much greater than the benefit you would get if you didn't fail. So if you want to take something on, take it on, but don't make a don't make a why. It's a it's a very very costly thing to break. One of the things the says that someone that doesn't observe their nil can see their wife and kids die. So you could just understand the the the ramifications of breaking this n breaking this vow. The other time that you find this is when people are in trouble. A person is in trouble. He's being sued. He got arrested. somebody's in the hospital, there is a uh you know major health crisis and they decide to take something upon themsel in order for Hashem to change the decree. The two sound similar, but they're completely different. And we're going to discuss that. But inside this these lessons about vows and and and and swears and oaths I should say is the obligation that everything that comes out of your mouth you shall do. In so many words keep your word. Even if it's not a vow even if it's not an oath you have to keep your word. If you say you're going to do something, you have to do it. And if you don't, not only is your reputation going to get hurt, not only is your word going to be considered useless and immaterial, but worst of all, there is a judgment in heaven that's awaiting such people that do not have word. Why? Because the one of the greatest blessings that akadosh gave us is the ability to speak and the asks speaking is a very big thing. That's how we pray to Hashem. That's how we you know we we learn Torah. That's how we teach Torah. It's very big thing. Why is it that we don't have a special blessing that we do in the morning for speaking? We have a blessing in the morning for waking up. We have a blessing in the morning for being able to see. You know that he uh that he uh uh he bring gives vision to the blind. He we have a uh blessing for those you know for being able to stand. How come we don't have a blessing for speaking which is even more valuable than the rest of those? The kafim says really the truth is we do. We do have a blessing for it. It's inside the blessing where we thank Hashem for giving us a na that distinguishes us from the animals. Why? Because animals can't speak. Humans can. So inside that blessing is the gratitude to Hashem for giving us the ability to speak. Hence the reason why a person that speaks lies, a person that speaks heresy, a person that speaks idolatry, a person that speaks slander, is not only using the greatest tool that a kadb who gave a human being, needless to say a Jew, not only is he misusing it, not only is he disrespecting it, but he's actually using it for the opposite reasons of what it's supposed to be used for. So tells whatever will come out of his mouth he shall do. Now when it comes to vows a woman has slightly different laws than a man here. Why? Because a woman, if she's still in her father's house, she's a little girl, she's unmarried, obviously, no, none of this boyfriend girlfriend nonsense that's in the world today, then her father is responsible for her. And if even if she makes a vow, he can nullify it under certain conditions. If she is married, she's in essence she was bought by her husband in the kuba, the Jewish ceremony of a man marrying a woman is a purchase, not like slavery purchase like demented people think, but rather a purchase where in return for her marrying him, he is promising her to give her sustenance, to put uh, you know, give her a roof over her head, to give her a place to live, give her a uh a clothing and also to uh intimacy whenever she wants. Now, as far as the as long as it doesn't violate the Torah, which when she's needy and so on. Now, many times people think that, oh, as long as a uh you know, I'm not married, then anytime I make a vow, I could just ask my father to cancel it. It doesn't work that way. The law is page 45b says if the girl is under 11 years old and she makes a vow, we don't consider it. Why? She's too little to really understand what a nether really is. If she's 11 years old until 12 years old, then we examine whatever nether she meant. We examine it to see if she really understands the ramifications of what she said. And if she does understand, then the nether holds, the vow holds, unless her her father cancels it. If she is 12 years old, until 12 and a half, the nether is accepted without examination. She makes a nether, it's accepted. We don't need to examine anything whether she understands, doesn't understand. Why? Cuz right now she's already considered a woman and at 12 and a half she's already considered an adult and say at 12 and a half her father can no longer cancel her nil. Why? She's a woman. Now, of course, in the world today, you're a uh if you're living in the uh Jewish world, few people consider a 12-year-old girl a woman does, but women generally get married much older these days, 18, 19, 20, older unfortunately, but nonetheless, that's the way the world is. In a secular world, it's much worse. Why? They tell you that the 12year-old is still a child and cannot get married, but she could have a boyfriend and act like she's married. She could even have the boyfriend sleep at the house and make sins together and both go to gay with the parents, but she's not allowed to get married though. How that makes sense to people, I'm not really sure. But nonetheless, this is the way of the world of when it's opposite of Tua. We are meant to be a light unto the nations, not to follow their misguided practices. Remember, every Jew has to remember that he's a Jew and she's a Jew. We don't celebrate non-Jewish holidays, even if they seem harmless.