Can Eisav's Infinity Be Integrated Into Yaakov's Structure? - Torah Or "Vayishlach Yaakov" #2

the yeshiva dotnet Nashik Akkad awesome how do you know Mahina Yakov yeah the last line mamma shoved down with the second column 47 the last one so Yakov is coming back after a long journey and he wants to meet and reconcile with his brothers he says Vahine a yahoo say right away explain yakima nascent two different realities one is I'll erm I told you one is I'll um ha 30 Conan Doyle um I told you and the lights were too great to become enclosed and defined by vessels by containers by utensils they departed from the vessels and they remain what we call maka 'the peripheral with the calum break and therefore a sub is really splits there's a sub below and there's a Savannah source a sub below is called a rush and a Savannah source is what is actually a expression of profound energy profound light which in many ways is deeper more intense higher more sublime than the light of Bilaam article which is mitigated compromised diluted and limited and manifested and enclosed within the containers of tickle and this explains the ballot Anya explains elsewhere no sir earlier that the Gemara says in the sector sight that our communion Benazir says rationed the ace of its for the its own ace of died and his head rolled into the grave of Yitzchak and his head remains buried with his father in the bosom of its own without it is a hollow financial tomorrow ain't clavering Sadiq 8 so Russia one does not bury it Sadiq near a Russian and here it's not only near its one grave mama sh one cave yeah if you'd stuck together with a soft the shot is raesha the ASA bit for the its hook does the head of a sieve and as the body of ASA which symbolically represents a sub in his head and a sub in his manifestation a sub in his head is actually very deeply connected to his own a sub in his head if you go to a sub source if you go to a sub smack if the mark of a vase of is a tremendous order of condition and this in a way the oil is more powerful even in the earlier of yaacov because it's completely intense there's absolutely no limitation to it it's very very infinite the tragedy of it is it's not contained in other words it's not integrated into the conscious self which is the difference between our markup and our enemy as we explain numerous times or enemy means an error that is consciously integrated in other words you're cognizant of it you make sense of it you somehow control it it's part of you you could make it your identity it's considered part of you why because the earlier is limited and it comes in into your identity in a fashion that you could make peace with it it can define who you are because it's relatable to the you the Ermakov is beyond you which doesn't mean it doesn't have an impact then you could have a tremendous impact on you and maybe even deeper than the open in me but the impact is in a way that the consciousness of it is not recognizable at all in fact it's so intense that you may not even be consciously aware of it or aware only of certain elements of it are not aware of its source not aware of its nature not aware of its identity but it's nonetheless very very powerfully there that's called the Ermakov so ace of strategy is that his head and I'm as Bobby are two completely different realities his head is by yitzhak and the body of ASA which represents how he processes himself ASA was completely different in you know our enemies not Cayley yeah or enemies the ER that infuses the Kayle it goes into the pinna meais of the Kaylee but it's a type of oil that is custom-made to the consciousness of the Kaylee to the chemistry of the Kaylee said the Kaylee can the Kaylee kennis up tighten that Hayley can relate to it the Kaylee can be inspired by it the Kaylee gets filled by it filled by it here we don't mean spatially remain spiritually filled by it means I'm filled by it in a way that actually relates relates to me I go away with something that I can call mind or amok if I could never call mine I'm a completely not even be aware of it not because it doesn't have an impact the impact may be so intense that I can't even be aware of how it how much it is because if I'm aware of it I'm already defining it in some way and really it defines me much more than I define it and that's a sub story therefore ace of his dilemma told you when Yakov was a lunatic listen now he continues he says rohini Yakov harsh officer a savannas body clock well you know thematic on the difference is that the oil is limited according to the Kaylie in oil um hot are you the oil is so powerful and the Kaylie could not contain it so therefore basically it's overloaded like we spoke about this today electricity and it crashes from its own intensity in other my take on the oil is compromised the oil is mitigated it's like when you dilute the wine with water the oil is weaker and therefore it's limited according to the Kaylie it suits the Kaylie it works with the Kaylie it fits the Kamath it's fitted ok the art goes through a process of Simpson the air goes through a process of restriction so our motto you was destroyed on the debris of Alamut are you hashem built i la motte ikou usually when you got a house or you have a previous house so you clean up the old house you get rid of all the debris and all the rubble and all the garbage and then you build your new house fresh right besides in Yerushalayim in your shall I am in a Leto get rid of the old because it's layers and layers and layers thousands of years so therefore you build on the frontiers Chilean there's nothing you know you you go to the basement of your house and you wish let me go a little lower you're gonna find some room in there some Roman I am or the by solution by ish a me before as I'm being in a fine because it's built so many layers and layers on the spiritual level it's not that eylem hot are you was destroyed it was basically it exploded and what happened was the light departed the calum fell and broke and they don't know who they are anymore so I sham cleaned up the mess and he said let's build a new world he built oil on hot icon on the debris of a LeMat I without cleaning it up so everywhere in tickled there's still shards of tar you everywhere what is taken taken is a whole different process in tickle the oil fits the Kali the earth suits the Kayle the earth is much more limited the expression of the reason is that in Toyo have iris me Reuben and Calum mu autumn in tick on Otis more autumn bakalyan Reuben in toy you you have a lot of light and small vessels big lights small vessels big energy small containers in tickle and you have small energy less energy with large containers to contain them then my love Tikhon is integration peace harmony unison there's integration between the earlier in the kala the divine energy infuses the caelian the Kaylee is inspired by it it's defined by it the Soron of tikkun is the light is much more compromised the my love taught you is that the light is awesome but the concern is it has no staying power it remains completely above on the debris of Toyo Hashem built ila Matic why because ultimately integration between the two worlds is the ultimate purpose because Toyo has something to it that tikkun will never have so he didn't just want to destroy tell he want to tell you and how you gets destroyed and now Toyo needs to be integrated with integral so in the ultimate qivana what you want as odors to toy who became them to tickle you want the chaotic light in the vessels of tickle and for this everybody has to go through a process Tikhon has to be able to expand its Calum to be able to contain that light and tell you has to be able to allow Tikhon to integrate the light so that's the process that both Yaakov and ASA have to go through in order to make peace between them and in the ultimate world you have the lights of Toyo in the vessels of tickle so the vessels of tikkun are not anymore limits limit limit containers that limit and crush the light of Toyo but they actually facilitate the light of Toyo but for that there's a process both of Toyo and of tickle so on the debris of Toyota Cohn was built so everywhere in tickle and you have shards fragments pieces like after an explosion you have all the debris of tell you everywhere in a person's own soul that you have the aspects of your soul that are from tickle you have the aspects of your psyche that are from tal you now some people are predominantly more than others more than others and this is a vernacular and the alter rebbe started this is an express becomes an expression right you'll say this is a toy who dick a person this is a thickened thicker person it's a it's a deep way of describing a personality Tom I'll tell you are a memory and one said it was it describes a situation was one silk hosteria so I was in 77 there was a child so the low Bobby trevor was doing her corset maybe 10,000 people in the room legally supposed to be two thousand people in the room it wasn't just packed it was packed beyond packed you threw a pin at wouldn't land so I was up in the front so there was a particular kabocha Lea I was extremely extremely successful but on the wild side and he got a Hawk offer so he went with a safe attorney to the Beamer yet to go walk farther Bhima was down in middle of the shores of big shoal towards the end he had to walk down to the BIM says he got his half there from her and Carter she was walking to the bus he happened to pass by the river so I was right this I heard I don't think anybody else heard it so he looks at him and I guess he kisses the tire and he looks over he gives a big smile and he says nish Toyo that was it nice Toyo and he walked on it was two words but he was giving him a direction nishto you naturally his initiative means not toy you know toy for you in other words he said it with a big smile but he was telling him something your natural mo your modus operandi is tell you means you don't care about containers you don't care about structure you don't care about people you're dealing with you are or what you're wild you're wild and the revenue his customers he was it was a very elegant way of teaching him of directing him and initiative means you have to learn how to contain your lights how to contain your energy there's a beauty and tell you the beauty is you're a bulldozer there's nothing that stops you there's absolutely nothing that stops you it's pure infinity the problem is it doesn't have staying power because whenever you don't have containers kalyan the light will not be maintained it will fade away into oblivion you don't have the infrastructure to be able to contain it you have great artists for example who are unbelievable talents tremendous creativity and they end up addicted to all types of substances or they all sometimes take their lives even because as an artist once described what's the feeling when you're playing in front of 50,000 or 75,000 people who adore you adore you they were they will be ready to lick the saliva that comes out of your mouth they will kiss the earth that you're walking on you know real mamas mamas real celebrities of that level of that stature and you're beyond on top of the world you like a demigod you're a semi God worshiped and and the crowd is hollering and cheering and high on you and then as I once asked one of these people I said what's the hardest moment he says the concert is over and everybody leaves and you're in backstage and the janitor says hey oh let's go go go go go go it's time to go to know more that feeling right and then he goes home and if he has a wife what do you think she says when he comes home they caught the garbage take out the garbage the garbage is coming tomorrow six o'clock this morning I'm not getting up they kind of the garbage you weren't home for a week how do you deal with that how do you deal with that huh I'm God God doesn't take up garbage fifty thousand people would just lick my spit if they would just know that they could drive me home they would they would sell their house to drive me home right the taxi driver doesn't know who he is the janitor doesn't know he is his wife knows who he is that's her Milan so first of all it's very hard to stay married for these people second of all that high that you get the intoxication that you get from that validation from that attention is intoxicating how do you maintain that in normal life you can't have it every second so tomorrow night you'll have another one will become bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger I'm just giving one example with this a tremendous amount of power and creativity and art but to have an infrastructure you need a lot of humility you need a lot of Bickle and that takes a lot of internal work to be able to say I will not operate only on a level of toil I will operate on a level of tickle this is Sauron of Taccone is it could kill creativity structure is awesome but sometimes structure lacks the light it lacks the intensity the great dreamers can we integrate a Savannah curve can we integrate a serving atom and different generations are prone to different forces more and different personalities are prone to different forces more some people are intoxicated by structure in other words they're intoxicated by monotony what makes them high is boredom the more boring their day is the better it is they just love it they thrive on it and I should say I once asked somebody what made them become about shuva and they told me they loved the fact that God tells them what to do every minute they love it they love that 921 solves mine krishna 2010 21 subs Montilla plaid we're going for minica they loved that idea cuz you did how was very structured shop disjunctive voice made skier who even knows difference in our lights and Nate's right go to a regular crowd yeah dawn dawn break sunrise maybe if you learned something in high school you have to deal with astronomy he learnt about dawn break sunrise right but here it's a home AHA were here for 451 carbon is 519 hi dua three seconds lady he played nine minutes later Barkley one minute you missed sunrise it's like what so the truth is is something very deep about it because it's rhythm it's the beat it's understanding nature it's it's learning the structure of the universe but you could understand that for some people it kills the light but on the other hand without Calum you're not gonna have a light another example and this plays itself out in history many different times is revolutions of the first generation and then of the second generation all revolutions the first generations are often very successful because they ignite the idealism of the youth what happens when the revolution is actually successful when they take over now you have a second and third generation who are born into it and now it's not about the spirit anymore because you don't have to revolt you know if to fight you don't have to die for it now you have to live for it to live for it on a daily basis you don't have that romantic drama take for example Zionism the kibbutz movement the early Zionists they were sacrifice their lives literally to put it on the line and they were successful they created a state now you have a second or third fourth generation a lot of them is like you know I'm not interested the passion is not there because to create containers is often much harder than to generate light to create containers you have to be able to know how to translate the light into a daily ideal that continues on in high moments and in low moments yet hook many ways had to have more depth than of wrong of Rome was the revolutionary it's hook created containers he dug wells it's not an exciting thing to dig wells but it creates containers it creates places where the water could stay its hook was internal he was an external containers are always very internal they're deep and they don't have the fanfare and the drama of the energy of Rahm was their revolutionary but without the it's hook there would have been nothing left to offer up look at the SNF Rajesh Raza baharon what happened to all of our arms cover they disappeared the miry says that of Rob converted half of you more than half of humanity in pre-k Allah is the beginning serve rum influenced more than half of civilization at the time what happened to them they all disappeared they all faded away because you took wasn't as charismatic as I've Rami wasn't the same extrovert as of romp you said was an introverted person of rhombus Cassidy took his Gordon they look they did so they said sinners dose boom next they weren't ready for the humility of calum of contain in many ways this was the my love the maggot over the ball Shanta perceptive travel the maggot of misery didn't travel he remained in one place is whole life they came to him the Baal Shem Tov was a nuclear energy the maggot created the containers for the Baal Shem Tov it's a whole different avoider calum are always quiet they're always subtle so but sequin was built on the debris of toy you could just tell you everywhere some people's psyches you'll see there are people who are prone to tickling that people are prone to tell you and even people who are prone to one or the other there will be moments of life and you could say this is a moment of toy you generally a moment of toy you means when something is very powerful and it can't be integrated psychologically it's a moment that has a lot of energy but no containers now you could let that destroy you or you could say no my challenge is to open up my calum to that energy but when there's an energy that's very powerful and overwhelming that's an energy of Tolley which is always marked if it's not integrated your Kaleb are not big enough for it they're small so they work with either of Kiko not without of tell you or you tell you is very very powerful that's the or of Asaph on another level it's the ire of layer by our assembly snow a layer as we learned in the Maya of toth KO phayam base last week right it's a order that is doesn't sit well with me I'm not comfortable with it there you have to open yourself up to it so now what happens here is you understand your typhus so toyou Antechinus the theme that's always playing out in life and that's why moments of crisis or moments of overwhelming pressure are often moments that can be become moments of deep healing and deep creativity and they can unleash usually your deepest greatness if you know how to channel the toil and not just let it remain on overwhelming experience that you completely can't integrate but there's always tension between the two worlds because they're opposite worlds and Toyo was destroyed in order to build taken on the debris of Toyo and that's why there's an expression as a synthesis you'll always have any people that people alert any cific soon as they read this but they don't know what it is they just read it it's called niche sources you'll always hear the word beer around it suits us right everyone knows this all solid shoulders to the chateau the from of a designed in its its limit sources it's a Duchenne ah Mallos I'd in its its us so these are words you know I said them grow up within their culture doesn't mean anything to them it such as came on it such as monitor sparks sparks of what when it's a very profound idea and it suits us means and it's such as sparks are not flames but they're sparks sparks have to be fanned into flames everywhere there are sparks of oil um hot oil and when you see those sparks you could run away or you could say wow this is a place where I want to spend time avoiders Habiru means to be my varied in its excessive toil and extract them from the shells that eclipse they're real light because really it's a very powerful light that fell down in the Kaelin that swallowed them up but there's a lot of mixes there and to be able to sublimate those in it such as those sparks which are everywhere in ourselves and in people and and everything we come into contact with it's the ability not to become a victim but rather to elevate the spark to sublimate the spark and for that you have to have that clarity and that depth that only tickle can provide and that's why the breakfast ultimately have to go to Yaakov to one day deliver them to Asaph not that a sub doesn't need them a sub is the one who needs them but the Yaakov is the one who's like the math kid he's Holden if occurred I'm sorry he's the one who's holding on to the Picard infer firfer Asaph and that's why when a sub breaks down crying why can't why did he steal the brushes for me it's this innocent days of cause it's the Mack of evasive that's yearning for another chance it's like why why did this happen almost on a super conscious level he's crying and he doesn't even know why he's crying he doesn't understand how deeply it affects him but he's really weeping and crying even though tomorrow he's gonna go do cold over our source available the Gemara says balm IRA Morrison and all the good all the nice things or or not nice things that Asaph did and then the same ace of is busy wondering how do you give my sir from straw and and salt so some people say is just a hypocrite i rush the militia a low-life don't trust them doctor ever says no don't just don't dismiss it so easily you have to understand the tragedy of Asaph both are true hmm I'm struggle belief and on the other hand he's so idealistic he wants to know how he gives my sip from straw even straw he wants to give my saffron he's so idealistic he cares about my in New Zealand he will invest millions of dollars for research of saving whales in Indonesia right global warming could make him cry could make him cry he'll start crying about global warming right and then and the tycoons are like you know not how much Audrina and and and he'll cry and in some funny ways it's like an expression it's an expression even if it's often distorted and completely not integrated and when it'll come to a terrorist suddenly the terrorist becomes that Sadiq adore because he's a freedom fighter and it's not a Styria it's completely not a steerer but that's what McAfee is structure always comes if you're if your entire structure is the biggest bit because it defies you it defies you both by defining you it defies you you don't want to be the fine who wants to be defined you don't want to break it you want to channel it you want it to be eternal you want it to be eternal you know the morale the famous my round I'll tell you experience I once had that brought the two visions to my life very clearly I was invited to Israel to speak for a national Israel a national convention for women in Israel and extra in Binion a home on Jerusalem no Binion a OMA it's one of the largest may be the largest auditorium and in Israel and your salon for sure so they were like kind of know 6,000 women in the crowd or more or less around that time I was you know they have those lights so you can't see anybody you just stand onstage you have to make believe you see everybody but your mom is blinded but you can't tell anybody that I'm blinded and this is ridiculous but it's you know it's a lot of theatrics so I did III I was giving the keynote speech at this convention it was a convention or of a few days and I did my thing I did my thing whatever it was I had to half an hour probably 40 minutes and I got a standing ovation for a long time and you know women are not like men they get inspired faster and less defense mechanisms etc present company excluded of course and okay so it was very nice and I'm walking out so you walk out you know big speech people follow so like a hundred and fifty women following me I don't hope that comes out it comes out right but you get the point and to ask questions of course yes to ask questions so so I'm walking out to this one has this question and what does this mean and what do I do about my Shalom bias and could you help my 15 year old boy and my 9 year old does want to go to school and my 14 year old this happened and this one whatever you know all these types of questions and so as they're they're talking and complimenting and giving me accolades this my cell phone rings I take a look I see it's my wife from New York so I I pick up the phone my wife tells me you know it's very nice that you go to Israel and you inspire people but this house here is this chaotic it's chaotic so I'm like okay give me one minute st I put down the phone and then this woman is like could you move here could you just move here then another one is like says could you come in every week I'll pay a first-class ticket for you to come every week and speak to us I'm like sure one minute yes well obviously you know the kids are gonna need therapy when they get older they're not gonna have a father absentee you're busy saving the world neglecting your family I'm like st one minute ray Jacobs and you were amazing unbelievable you were incredible I'm like sure it's wonderful one minute my wife is like you know you have to really make a choice who you are and what God wants and this is really not working it's miserable over here and I'm like one minute and then the women are this is like the best thing that ever happened God sent you here and so forth and the contrast was a very vivid contrast it would have been very easy for me to hang up the phone say I'll call you you know when I get to the hotel and take in all the accolades which felt frankly very very good very validating but there was a part of me that knew very clearly that the contrast is an important contrast because here it's gonna go for five minutes ten minutes if I stay around I'll be an hour I'll be three hours whatever it is and ultimately the phone call that was coming from New York thousands and thousands of miles away was somebody who really cares about me who's connected to me who make sacrifices for me who wants to build something real with me it's not just inspiration and and accolades and then and a standing ovation and so on and so forth but the ladder is always far more it takes much more discipline and much more sacrifice and much more humility and much more commitment because it's not Otis it's always in Caleb and to channel it and Calum is a very humbling experience and it's choices that people always have to make between the two on the other hand there's something bohemian and infinitely available exciting about know Calum it's like endless possibilities right that's why today so many people don't want to get married a guy told me a drooler Manhattan a pharmacist telling you one logical reason I should get married give me one reason one reason for romance marriage kills romance the suspense is much better he says for enjoyment today after the 60s you don't have to get married to have enjoyment he says to have a friend they remain friends with you if you're not married to them the moment you married is ice friends you know you said upsetting each other on each other's head stretching and complaining he says tell me one logical reason I once asked I once asked Jackie Mason you know who that is he repeats a lot of my jokes I once asked him so he's an out to you - Ibaka he's although his name is not Jackie Mason his name is Yaakov Mazda I know his real name is Yaakov Mazda Jacky became Jakob became Jacky Mazda became Mason's I once yeah he was also he was also he was also he got semester and the congregants were Tong you are in the wrong job you become a comedian you'll make a better person so kava his brothers all sort of so I once asked him if he regrets that he never got married he gave me a whole Jackie Mason answer it's not for now but then he told he says my father used to say that marriage is an institution I never want to be institutionalized it's an institution I don't want to be institutionalized so you could look at it that way so you have your a contrast of two opposing forces and one has my list that the other one doesn't have and one has to acknowledge that and what happens often is the tragedy is that it can shuts down to toy-u because its threatened by it we're threatened by bohemian energy a lot of us are threatened by free spirit we don't like free spirits we want you to be in the containers because you don't threaten us but a Tikhon that's threatened by toyo is ultimately a tickin that's betraying its mission the mission of tikkun is not to be threatened by toil but to ultimately expand its containers and contain toil and that's a completely different educational spiritual and psychological model what are you thinking it's something new right right people are afraid of themselves with their own energy so they don't even allow their own energy to be expressed to themselves because it could be dangerous but you know what at the end of the day God trusts your energy you have to trust it or or or you'll or you'll become infinite one of the two yes it's a moment of healing because if you don't make peace with toy who ultimately Jakov cut off his brother it's a part of him they're twins toy you and tikkun are twins they come really from the same like all twins what do they come they split but they come from the same same seed right and then they split okay there's two types of twins but did they come from the same sharers they come from the same marker they both come from divine energy and they manifest themselves in two different ways until you goes through a traumatic process in Toyotas trauma but the trauma of Tyre comes because of its power because of its beauty because of its infinity not because of its essential evil tickle doesn't experience trauma because in Tikhon there's never a break there's never a breakdown and tell you this trauma and they taught you after the trauma is not recognizable it doesn't recognize itself anymore it's lost in translation it's lost in translation that's what's called severus our cable is this a moral question or a psychological question matter what you wanna know if you should encourage it as a therapist listen there are moments I would say essentially this was probably the core issue of the Mahalo cos of the Vilna gone against against the Baal Shem Tov probably decision the way it was garbed was in different words but this was the real issue why expose the masses to nuclear energy don't do it keep it structured and let the few people who get it have access to it and I think the Baal Shem Tov's argument was nuclear energy has been exposed in the world there's a nuclear race if kedusha doesn't compete on that level if you describe all you describe has to say is we we know how to follow tradition and we have good chicken soup and if you stick here you'll have you'll be able to go to the Hasson of your kids it's powerful maybe it's powerful but ultimately you lost the energy of the world and you will lose the energy of millions because people have very deep souls and they're expressing them and they're searching for that so if you this guy can't contain the Kaelin for oil Amato you ultimately you will lose you will lose generations and generations especially as the world progresses it's supposed to be that way people will be looking for deeper relationship with God in the world of mushiya for example the motivation is not gonna be reward and Punishment the motivation is gonna be I want a relationship I want truth I want real real truth but truth is powerful truth is deep truth is roark truth is naked and yet I think we say every morning out to be anal the Danish cyan't have to understand their limits and for a person to say I'm a free spirit and therefore I go everywhere I do everything is often suicidal so you can't become this deluge and that's where halakhah comes in Halawa is a very powerful parameter to examine where you're really going if you're ultimately worshiping your quests or you're worshiping God that's the key you'll see in all of my mahram when people get into it they can become frustrating because they'll turn ever will never allow a person to just allow their awareness to take them wherever their awareness wants to take them he will always at the end come back and say Val a soccer star Hamas grimace Joseph the problem of the saramakan was he didn't he forgot what Yosef is all about as we learned in McKay's in other words at some point who will say and what does God want and what does God want with this if not it becomes self worship I worship my my spirit my identity and the ultimate question is what are you needed for in life what do you need it for in life and that's where the order takes you back to Kayla but that's a very powerful challenge that a person can have that makes the key distinction between a life without loss of life without a lot of life with her life without Toyota sometimes there's stages in life where a person is entitled to say and they needed to say I can't think for a few years I can't think for a few years it's it's not for me sometimes there's room for that sometimes is room for that sometimes you have to know who you are what your limits are and the most important thing for you is of a Kyber hem to live not to die God doesn't need you to die sometimes this room for that there's no question ah but not out of fear not out of insecurity not out of the need to crush simply for a person who understands we all have limits and we have to respect them you have to know who you are to know your children are I mean all you know in an ideal world it's different we don't live in an ideal world right the Gemara says you tell them nas you don't get close to a vineyard don't get close to a vineyard people who struggle especially with certain you know you have a heavy crush on somebody or have a crush in a particular substance the Bohemian spirit couldn't just make you destroy you you have to say this is what I struggle with I can't go there I cannot go there it's just who I am we're we're all so weak we're strong but we're weak I think that's part of it you know acknowledging that and not being in denial of it I think it's a very important idea [Music] you always need a balance you always need a balance between you and Kaylee always but I'll tell you where the issue comes out you have a father who sometimes struggles with a child you'll see two types of fathers or mothers you'll have a father who sees things in his child that scare him very deeply let's call it title okay if he never made peace with his toy oh if as dr. lamb says he came and said I shut down I don't deal with this what he sees in his child will drive him mad until his last breath he will not to forgive his child he will fight him and fight him and fight him because his child is bringing up everything in him that he doesn't want to see and he ran away from and their relationship will deteriorate from day to day from week to week he will judge him he will get him angry and he will start hating him and he'll throw him out of the house and he'll justified in the name of God always always in the name of God but now take you token ASA gives up was a bit sad the case it was a big rush insuk was not naive that's why he wasn't upset at Rifton but you took understood very well toil and he made space for it in his soul so ace of did not drive in mad he could love a sub and he could remain connected to a sub through thick and thin why not because he agreed with a subs decisions not because he didn't want a sub should be live a different life but because he knew the ASA within himself and whenever you know that within yourself it doesn't frighten you to the point that you have to destroy the other person you don't have to destroy the other person you have to embrace the other person you have to do sometimes you disagree that's fine you have a different value system but you're not destroyed by the other person because he's triggering realities in you that you deal with you understand them you have a place for them and you even understand this certain kedusha that exists in them it's a whole different way of Education you don't compromise today people often they look at two extremes there's deliberation and just a conservative education right did the person who has no spine it doesn't stand up from a soldier who doesn't tell the kids it's not how we do it and then there's the father's want McConnell get it black and white understanding the child doesn't mean right you sold you saw the contrary it means that your calum are not calum that are afraid of oil they're not afraid and therefore they can appreciate and tune into the world of the other and embrace the journey of the other person even though there may be some disagreements and at the end of the day it won't be so simple to create a reconciliation on the most optimal level and you'll see this throughout with you talk he'll do it with a sub not only with asa they'll do it with a sub sung it's a fascinating thing Rashi says on this week's parish Akiba Mackley of RTS a Arden I passed the Jordan with my stick so what does Ashley say my stick he had nothing else you send your son away for 20 years how wealthy was he its cook he was a multi-millionaire he can't give you out of a million dollars to be able to buy a house to be able to buy a car to be able to tell off a family a stick you give him not even a tuna sandwich so what is it Ashley saying by eight say why did Jakov cry when he met Rocco he says a VI bar of rum when he sends Eleazar just to get a girl for a for a few days what does he send him with an enter our 10 camels that people's all it gives him everything white impress the Mahuta it's very important than press the McCook them especially therefore my rack I I didn't come in for a few days to get a that I came in to live for years and years have nothing nothing not this right I've rung gives Italy has everything it's so gonna give Yakov it's a Bissell laps a Bissell Madden I'm a little money with this is our are you dishes should that his mate so what is Rashi say from the matter is what's the story he gave him a lot Asaph sent his son Ali furs to go kill Yaakov he comes to Yaakov and he wants to kill him suck trashy will the fish God Alba shakily it's Manas money she owed of because he grew up in the bosom of its he couldn't kill Yaakov on the other hand keyboard of an ASIS family was top priority he tells Yaakov as a row of more estimates official album the Tata that Sadiq wants me to kill you I can't kill you because I know you but my father said to kill you so Yaakov says a shear and Jakob says only hearts of the kinase so take away all my money take instant why doesn't the hunk of tongue your father's at sedated rich say after Russia minutia terrorism yeah Cuba's give me Scioscia take away all my money and on the course of kinase and the mainland fine and I leave first assets well you have a sprat with him so Yaakov comes broke be mocking about say yeah it's a funny thing yep some mug Nizam and who did with Italy furs go but hey crucially it so who is le fuss so if you know there a she's in my useless the gomorian son hadron huh le fuzz was more corrupt and Asaph Rashi brings from the succulents come on Hanson had what I leave us did and leave us lived with the wife of his father had a child Kyra le fuzz lived with the life of another man and had a child Timna and then he married his own daughter Tim noise Apple egg Ashley fuzz and from that came out of Moloch see every rots at sky on all levels [Music] you'd the POSIX hasn't told us was an avi and leaf us is growing up what should have you took totally fuzz and leaf us take I God all but hey crucial Yitzhak he grew up in the bosom of Yitzhak in the bosom you spent time with him was meconium knowing and this person became a musher super much gossamer some monstrous married his own daughter in sheva mitzvos by it's unheard of you don't marry a daughter on intimacy with your daughter and from that Pekka came I'm more like a great product the great a great bottle I'm oli but the it's not only did not throw him out of the house he raised him so you look at the story you say okay he wasted his time he was busy being Makarova Russia Marusia wait he wasted his time or maybe he saved the whole Claudius or all because of that what would have happened if not a leafless would go and murder Yaakov and not one of us would be sitting here today not one who would be alive today why cuz Yahoo would have been dead before he got married because you'd suck spent time with Oliva then gave him his soul the entire Jewish people were saved from being the courier of not a Jewish kid this is a non-jewish get a non-jewish kid and not in good non-jewish kids beyond OTD and because of that the Jewish people were safe how does he look through this it's hook is our Navi it's caucus year is Hashem he took his partner he took Northern Avril I've ROM Eilat love love love it took his glory year a year leave us ace of my lips your son I leave for Heinicke the shot is because the real here is Hashem the real here is a Shem never comes from fear of reality from fear of truth here is Hashem on the contrary means endless commitment to truth and therefore Yitzhak Aveeno can create space in his soul for the reality of ASA for the reality of a leaf us and he could understand the market and he could try to bring ed out in them he doesn't he's not judgemental he doesn't have to destroy them because they're not shri going in him things that he's frightened of within himself because he is wholesome because he's expansive so therefore for carrot he could see the spark and could see the dis portion and he could do better and it's as you can to avoid a separator how much the success rate is listen people of Peru it so can't live anybody's life Asaph has prettier and a leaf us as polluter they made their potatoes layer made her Pyrrha you see leo sad challenges layer made her pyramid but that's what you took accomplished and LaToya look what happened the Jewish people was saved that's the key difference okay Boston MA today y'all huh either my Ralph I'll tell you a story I'll finish with the story um I was invited to speak at a another myself mark I was invited to speak at a Moodle it's week lock is an askin and he deals a lot with issues of abuse he made an organization called a modem that brings together Jewish social organizations that deal with kids at risk so you had 80 organizations they met for two days in deal New Jersey so of course you know you eat and you go to sessions then you go back teeth it's Jewish conventions the focus is the food and you do a lot of sessions so I was invited to give the keynote address one morning there by breakfast after breakfast chuttan so when everybody was eating their corn they're healthy corn muffins with omelets so I gave a speech and I finished so it came over to me his name is dr. David Peck Ovitz he's a professor of psychology and yeshiva university he's been a therapist I think for 35 years I think he lives in New Jersey and he said every Texan I want to share with you a personal experience that I had and he shared with me the following experience it's a whole long storm gonna tell you the kids to the Vaart he says many years ago a boy came to see him in his office around fifteen year old boy Larry fifteen or sixteen what was the issue the issue was he did couldn't make it an any issue every year a few weeks a few days he was thrown out in a danger 15 is probably Manya shiva's came from a very prominent toy a focused family in Flatbush father wants them to go to therapy well it tells me you know sometimes a patient comes in and you see there's absolutely nothing wrong I love this kids great kids smart interesting sharp charismatic talented I'm thinking to myself he doesn't need therapy he's pretty good off people just don't know how to deal with them so I tell him he tells me that I tell them next week bring in your family bring in your father your mother your brothers your sisters and if you have grandparents bring in your grandparents to me was surprised that toboggans I never heard a therapist brings in a Zadeh in a bumper to therapy you're gonna ask the Holocaust survivor what are your feelings about your mother yeah who even had a mother if you had a mother you were happy right there it's not a generation that was busy analyzing they sexting emotions if you will you stayed alive it was already an s so where he says you're right but I had a hunch that the grandparents should be there he followed his heart interesting later so the next week they came in so yes the father to speak why he wanted a son in therapy so the father says listen we have a family of subject and a tire and he goes down the list you know this one is a Russia she would so my good she is okay let's don't finish stuff give me seven times this one gives a of yummy six times a day before always after always before cycles after the city mine at nine o'clock this one is this this one made hot solid this one is very shouts economists home runs this this one is the biggest ball tested in the continent and then his daughter is his daughter's a mama she says sorry riff Karaka layer graduates of the best seminaries and their words our husbands should have one boy one boy and my missions a bush a bush waste his time good head waste his time doesn't learn a thing and I feel bad for him I love him and I feel bad for us it's very embarrassed so this is ADA the father of the boy gets up and he says he wants to say something he tells everybody a story so that he grew up in Poland he had a huge family and everybody was in yeshiva and he was the only kid you know today they were diagnosed him with all the diagnosis he was out of his Shiva it was very street-smart he was savvy shrewd he was sharp he says one day he was out there 1938 and he picked up a book mine come by Adolf Hitler mushroom wine he comes home and he tells his father Tata Poland is on the border of Germany Hitler's gonna do what he says he's gonna do there won't be anybody left let's take the family and run before it's too late father looks at me and says I'd have led now - can you stop speaking nonsense you speak like this because you're not learning if you would sit and learn like your brothers you wouldn't read this stupid material you wouldn't speak like this he says father listen I should be learning I should be in yeshiva that's true but you know that I'm sharper than my brothers and you know that I'm smart and you know that I'm savvy and you know that I have feelings for things and I'm right and I'm telling you this won't be left the Jew in Poland we should run my father rebuked me and chastised me since this is putters that sight you wasting your time and I told my father I'm gonna have to run alone I'm not staying and I left my family and I crossed Atlantic Ocean 1938 he says I was the only survivor my entire family was murdered I was the only survivor then he says I look at all my grandchildren and I ask myself is there anyone who's like me and that boy I always saw was my replica so all of you should have respect for this boy because none of you would be able to sit and learn today you wouldn't be alive if not for me if not for a boy like him who was different but the cause of him you're all alive today no no one of you should ever disrespect this person or put him down because it's only because of a spirit like his that all of you are alive today he sat down bhagavate says there was stunned silence in the room you can imagine you can imagine they didn't know the story he says I wanted to share this with you sigh look at him I said was you can't tell me a story and not finish it doesn't work in my and my work the Amish mythos of Zuri's says what he wanna that's the story says Hite who outta sight behind he says I'll tell you the grandfather had a huge successful business he was very wealthy in fact he said in the meeting he told his son that if you continue this path I'm gonna erase you for my will if you continue this path already soon for my will classic Holocaust survivor who's fearless I made a lot of money he said he took his grandson into his business I said what's now he says today that boy runs the whole business and all of his brothers work for him that requires perspective requires vision doesn't mean there's no challenge to deal with but it means you understand souls you understand energies and you don't create boxes and when somebody doesn't fit into your box you go crazy mad it doesn't work that way and the result is from one extreme to another extreme because of this attitude ultimately the Jewish people were saved both in this story and in a leaf us a story this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot a yeshiva net slash donate