Can You Make Sense of Your Life? How Mordechai Transformed Esther - Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva.net [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] all [Music] let's open [Music] up with one detail in the story of puim which may seem as like a detail but as we shall see it it is really one of its pivotal moments if not the pivotal moment it's in chapter 4 of The Book of Esther of the the Milla this is Midway and middle of the story aashish has been a king he has executed his Queen vashi he has appointed years later a new Queen Esther he has uh given tremendous prominence to his prime minister hamon hamon has ploted successfully a decree and persuaded the king aashish to embrace it to choose and designate one day in which every Jew living under his Empire would be KH exterminated man woman and child chapter 4 M finds out what happens Mardi who is of course a close relative to Esther the queen even though Nobody Knows It Mardi who is one of the Great spiritual Jewish leaders at the time and is also close to the Palace as an adviser to the king as well M finds out what happened and the first thing he does is he rents his clothes he tears his clothes he cries and he sends a message to the Queen the first lady and the message of course is go straight into your husband and plead for our people Esther sends back a message to M and the message is impulsively it makes sense but rationally it doesn't make sense because you have to understand who my husband is my husband is a type of person the king is a type of person that if anybody walks in into his private chamber without permission what happens in Esther's words the rule is that this person comes out with a head shorter and Esther says all the Servants of the king know this all who live in the country of the king know it a man or a woman who goes into the inner chamber not summoned it's death sentence and I have not been summoned for 30 days this is Esther's argument we have to appreciate the argument what is Esther saying I can go in sound great but he didn't summon me I haven't been summoned for 30 days he lost some interest in me if I come out dead so what happened I died and there's nobody here to deal with the decree so the decree will also be implemented so nothing really was gained besides the fact that I was killed and the Jewish people will regardless be killed will be killed anyway because of the edict so Esther is arguing that we really have to think this thing through cuz just to run in and come out dead nobody gained anything if we could somehow devise a strategy a plot a way of dealing with it that would be sound rational strategically sensible and will ultimately produce the success we're searching for this is Esther's argument to m m now responds what's his response by so it's Esther chapter 4 4: 13 so M gives a message to be give to Esther to return to respond to Esther and he speaks for two you see why I say this is the pivotal moment because it's on this moment that the whole future story Revol this is the axxis upon which The Narrative revolves this is the moment don't imagine in your own soul that you're going to escape into the Palace of the king from all of the rest of the Jews you will find rescue in the palace from all the other Jews if you indeed remain silent at this moment salvation rescue will arrive to the Jewish people from elsewhere but you and your father's home will be lost and then says and who knows what were whether it was not for this moment that you attained the malus that you attained the Kingdom so Esther is now confronted with a dilemma that she must wrestle alone she has nobody to speak to she can't speak to her husband about this and is the mug he's the guy we're dealing with she can't speak to M about this I mean she has been talking to him about this but his position is clear Esther is alone she knows that the fate of the Jewish people hangs in the ballads and she must do what she can do to help and save her brothers and sisters but is she going to risk her life to do so does she go with M's hly conceived plan and ignore all the odds against her and if she dies and that's not such a big deal because he already killed one Queen I mean it's not like this guy doesn't kill his wives he doesn't have that policy Esther knew she was there because vashi who was a real queen who came from Royal Blood who was a great granddaughter of NAD netar the Emperor of Babylonia vashi had royal blood in her in her veins in her senu she was killed so the likelihood to slain another queen is not that far-fetched and of course the entire rescue plan Fades into Oblivion now we know the end of the story we know that Esther closed her eyes and she took a leap but let's not forget that in chapter 4 we don't know the end of the story yet we're still the middle of the story so we could never underestimate the intense drama of the moment Esther was facing a death death life question not only for her for her and for the entire plan for the entire people cuz there was nobody as close to the king as her who can do something to save the Jews and this is the moment that makes a decision and she's the only one who makes a real decision throughout the m i mean aish is manipulated by everybody as the gor says in humorously and cynically and ironically first he kills his wife for the sake of his friend and then he kills his friend for the sake of his wife that's basically how you could sum up hum in one word h Remains The Great anti-semite from the beginning of the story to the end of the story M Remains the consumate sadic from the beginning of the story to the end of the story the one who has to go through the internal tumultuous struggle and really assume responsibility for the whole future is one person and that is Esther there's a reason that the name of the Mig is millas Esther not millas m not millas Esther not millas M it's millas there's a reason for it what happens what happens after M gives this response Esther we could say takes a deep breath perhaps and she decides to take the plunge here is her response go assemble all the Jews who are present in fast on my behalf and neither eat or drink for three days day and night I and my medens will also fast in the similar manner then I will go to the king contrary to the law and if I perish I perish more Esther made a decision and once she made a decision she takes full responsibility she is fully proud cousin she now is telling M what to do what to do with the Jews to declare a fast and she says I'm going how did M persuade Esther who was in a dilemma who was uncertain how did he persuade her to sacrifies her life at first glance when you read M's words it seems like he's presenting not one argument but three arguments and it's not only at first glance it's at second and third glance as well m is building a case we would imagine he would build a case and he would offer a strong argument a stronger argument and then boom and then you hit your home run you give the ultimate punch the ultimate box to make her go but let's see M's argument in more with more in more let's analyze it more with in with in its nuance M's argument consists of three points first point is that's verse 13 don't think you will remain safe in The Palace if the Jews die you will also die it's number one number two second point is the Jewish people are going to be saved with or without you but if you remain silent at this moment you and your father's home will be lost forever for abandoning your people for forfeiting this opportunity his third Point who knows it's possible God made you a queen for this moment for this opportunity now the first point is fairly straightforward Esther's safety is already in jeopardy from the decree don't look at yourself and say this is their problem it's not my problem why should I go into the palace and die even if it's 50 60 70% I could live you're not going to live you're a Jew and since you're a Jew so therefore avoiding the responsibility to confront your husband and speak to him will be fule somehow M says they will discover your Jewish that's what happens with these people and when discover your Jewish nothing will help your fate will also be doomed you will also be slain as a Jew in a moment of Reckoning M says In a Moment of Truth Esther will be targeted as a Jew even though she's married to the king himself that's forceful that's straightforward that's intense a Jew is a Jew is a Jew nobody will escape it just as 70 years ago almost nobody escaped it the second point he makes is also forceful the second point is the Jewish people will be saved regard us but you and your father's home would be lost forever you could be silent and don't think that that will be the end of the story We Will Survive regardless but you won't survive so it's actually going to be the other way around the Jews Will Survive you won't survive the consequences of you not being a part and saving the je people will not result in your ultimate success but in your ultimate defeat now m is about to make a third point if you were Mardi what would you do now we would expect that M would now from strong from weaker from weaker to Stronger he would now make his ultimate Point what we would say he would reach his Crescendo and give that ultimate ultimate AR argument that is very difficult to resist And yet when you look at his third point it seems relatively weak especially compared to the first two points let's see how Ezra rabenu a Evra 12th century great Spanish commentator poet philosopher linguist astrologist uh and great commentator on the tanak translates these words perhaps this is why you were given this job you attained the kingdom the malos in order to save the Jewish people that's how he understands it so now if Esther is not going to be swayed by the previous two arguments that what that she's going to die anyway and that her and her family will be destroyed what is the last point that M thinks will finally convince her telling her by the way this is why you got the job this you have to do in order to make sure you fulfill the job imagine you have the spiritual leader of the Jewish people m in his day giving you an instruction to go on a dangerous mission that may be 50% or 90% you may not come out from it it's a Dangerous Mission and if you don't come out from it nobody will also come out from it perhaps and there will be a genocide of your entire people can I really could this person really add motivation to you by saying that by the way in addition to saving your people in addition to saving yourself in addition to saving your father's family you will also be fulfilling the task for which you were given this office you will be doing your job it's a nice thing to do your job no question people always like saying I'm just doing my job that's an excuse for doing everything wrong in the book I'm just doing my job you ever got that one I'm sorry I'm just doing my job right we know that calling at your job doesn't make it right quit your job don't do it calling it a job doesn't make it right but no question if you could do your job a good person does his or her job but it almost seems comically insignificant and weak and frail relative to the primary motivation for doing this let's say it's not your job let's say you didn't get malus for this let's say it is your job just doing your job this is the reason you got this position you to ensure that your job was not given to you in vain rather than the fact that you're saving your people you're not going to help yourself by not doing it you won't die in fact it's the other way around but what makes this argument even weaker is how M says it take a look at his words very surprisingly indecisive tone at this incredibly dramatic fearful moment upon which Jewish history hangs in the balance M seems to waver what does he say in yish who knows maybe it's the reason you became Queen maybe not out of every sing single girl in the entire Persian Empire God might have chosen one Jewish girl to become a queen in order to save the Jewish people but then again do I know do I know why you got this job M who knows is this how M hopes to inspire her to take this momentous leap we don't really need you because the Jews will be saved elsewhere they'll be saved anyhow but by the way if you do it you'll save yourself and you'll be doing your job cuz it may be the reason you were given this job these are not the words you expect to hear from somebody who's telling you to March into the lion's den and to March into the jaw of death it's not like Give me liberty or give me death it's not what m is saying you would expect him to say it he says M I don't know okay let's change the subject one of the strange things about purm is the name the Milla tells the story Al in the Persian language means a a lot so why do we name the holiday based on a lot because H the prime minister of the Persian Empire in the times of famously cast his lot he cast his lot to figure out which is the most suitable day for his implementation of a genocide plan KH against the Jewish people and he chose by a lot the month and the day 12 months in the year in each month 29 or 30 days and ultimately the lot comes out to the month of other and the day comes out to the 13th of other and that becomes the lot the and that is why we call it Pur I ask you this captures the essence and the theme of the holiday that H tried to kill the Jews through a poor let's say he wouldn't make a g let's say he would just he liked you'd give a because it's his sh's birthday or he liked you'd give a lot because it's his Bub's birthday I don't know why he chose it without a lot would it make any difference he chose a day he chose a day the lot is so significant that even if the lot was significant why is that the celebration of the holiday the fact that he cast a lot to figure out the day when the Jewish people were executed would would be executed that's part of the tragedy that's part of the the the horror of the story that's not part of the Salvation And yet this is the name of the yam and not one poor it should be called one poor it's called puim which is actually plural and it's not called even Ines in the Holy language but it's actually given a Persian name all other Jewish holidays are given a Jewish name this is a Persian name in fact the M always makes sure since you don't understand what Pur is let me tell you what it means but we don't name it g we could have called it g it would have been a nice name no go is coming is ready sounds strange because you're used to the name for a few thousand years but works it's called The Zo comes the Z says a very interesting comment that there's another holiday in Judaism that sounds similar to and that is is of course a Biblical name in not in the not in the and of course proceeds P by many years literally comes from the word Kap which means atonement but the Z says no he says have the same atmology in fact as many commentators on the Z and many calistic andic texts point out and other texts as well in that it's actually Yer is called it's like PIM in other words it's almost like you're comparing y to when really it's the other way around comes after but is the day that's it's interesting because oner there were also oner there was also there were also Lots it says in we read it every iner that the takes two lots and he makes he casts a lot has two goats and he has to choose between the two goats to quot the he has to choose between two identical goats and both of them end up in very different places I want to quote to you the posk it says Takes Two Goats he purchases Two Goats he places on the Two Goats two lots so and this happened every single year by the functioning serving high priest he had a box the box he had two pieces of uh two lots two gas he lifted them up he placed one on one goat one on the other goat one was on his right one one was on his left on one it said hasem this goes to God on one it saidel this goes to the mountain in the outskirts of Jerusalem called aaz and the two goats were sent to different places one goat was offered in the Mish in the sanctuary in the bik and the only offering its blood the only time the only day of the year that its blood was brought in where to the holy of holies never happened before never happened after only on the blood of this goat was brought into the and sprinkled right in front of the Ark right in front of the Arin and then sprinkled on the par on the curtain and on the m all inside the inner chamber which was unique and of course the other goat was sent Lael and the English language gave this goat a name called scapegoat the name scapegoat when we say you they scapegoated him or they scapegoated her of course comes from this scapegoat because the T describes this Goat as carrying on itself all of the sins of the entire Jewish people sent and cast off the second M the second location which is the aaz mountain how is this decided through a comes the the beginning of the sixth chapter of Y which is ATT track dedicated to the Two Goats of the Two Goats ought to be identical in the way they look their countenance their height and their value their money the two goats have to be you can't just take two goats and then make a GLE they have to be identical and the gor says over there how do you learn it out because it says he should take the Two Goats now it could have just said he should take two goats could have just said is plural the minimum plural is not one is two goats can't be one has to be two it could have said he should take goats it doesn't mean three because there's no reason to say three you say two why does the PK have to say two so K learned out from this that the BK was trying to tell us that the two have to be combined in one word two in one word especially two goats that the two are two identical goats they look the same they have the same height and they have the same money they cost the same money yes the gamar also explains that if he they don't do this they find two goats that are not identical they still fulfill the Mitzvah it doesn't invalidate it but this is the way this is the way to do it on this there's a big question what's the question many commentators ask the following question there's a 71 look at the next Source this is referring to a in we have the story of a rebellious child who does not listen to his father and his mother and the whole story of this unique rebellious child who's stealing meat and drinking wine like a glutton and even though they admonish him and they punish him and they penalize him it doesn't help and you have the unique story in which in this incredible quite strange situation the boy is killed is killed if the mother of this child is not identical to his father in their sound in their look and in their height he can't be a Ben the the only way could be a is if Mommy and tati look exactly the same she exactly the same height and have exactly the same voice why says father and mother come to court and they say he's not listening to our voice it's one voice it's our voice you see here the T wants them to be identical if identical in the voice identical in everything else also they have to look the same they have to have the same height if so we have the famous tradition that the story of never happened and never will happen there was never a story like this will nor will there ever be a story like this so why does the T it simply as an opportunity to expound perspectives of to and receive a lot of reward for expounding these truths in other words this paraa was written to give us educational pedagogical lessons about education not to describe a reality that is actually going to take place this of course follows Ruda why where you going to find a father and a mother that have the same voice that look exactly the same and share exactly the same height it's impossible there's no such a thing ever heard a husband and a wife sound the same way it's hard enough for them to say the same thing that itself we know is we're talking about Jewish parents but forget saying the same thing agreeing we're not talking about agreeing we're talking about the same voice the same call they sound the same a famous commentary of on this and he says that what the t is trying to say is that if father and mother don't have the same voice you can't call the child rebellious in other words if there's no Harmony in the home if there's a lack of cohesiveness in the home if father says one thing and mother says one thing father feels one way and mother feels completely a different way so the experience of the children is fragmented it's broken and if it's broken you can't call the child new it's only if it's our voice there's a cohesive voice in the house then you can hope that the parents are not to blame but if not don't talk about the child talk about the parents parents need help not the child no how often do you have this the same voice between a father and a mother so before you label a child you first have to look what the marriage is like what the quality of the marriage is what the fabric of the marriage is so Huda says could never be never was never will be no what's the question I don't understand how do we say that the two goats of the Mitzvah is they should be identical in the look in the height and in the value and this is the Mitzvah every they had to search for Two Goats you just told me that with people it can never happen but by goats you say yes also they have to be identical by animals it could be more this way what's what does he mean he means prob probably that practically speaking with people and when you're growing up with people you see the differences with animals they could be more alike and even if it's not Mish identical the says there's no stalk of wheat that's similar to another stalk of wheat there's no two things in this world are identical stalks of wheat same field right here the same seed no two stalks identical as we know no two flakes of snow identical you could see it quite obviously no two droplets of rain identical so the says we don't expect things to be identical identical in complete form but generally the animals look like each other as much as possible they should look the same they should be the same height so the says there's a difference between people and animals with people it's not going to happen with animals it can happen can happen perfectly it can't Happ perfectly but it's much more it's closer proximity especially I would add we don't have a relationship if you grow up with these goats you're very sensitive to the differences you're going to a store to buy these goats they look the same it's not like a father and a mother you have these relationships you're so sensitive to S even subtle differences comes to Shag shagas has a commentary on called says I don't understand the question why are they asking a contradiction from to the Two Goats of how do you compare over there by you need a father and mother to share three different properties number one they have to look the same their face number two they have to have the same height number three they have to have the same voice by the goats we never ask for the same voice we never asked that the should be exactly the same we never asked for that we asked for two things and the look and the height and the D value but that's not in that's not in the in the body that's what the shagas says in the in the body itself two things says why you're comparing I don't see a question two things yeah three things not but to apparently didn't feel that way he felt even for a father and a mother to look exactly the same and to have exactly the same height is also not a possibility the voice exasperates it even more but that itself is a problem and that's why he says you can't compare goats to this and that's why to has to answer a whole different answer what's his answer his answer is that it doesn't have to be Mish identical and in animals it's easier than people doesn't have it's interesting thing that if you look at rashi rashi over there says means Rashi says means that they both are either white or black so so you see clearly that Rashi is already learning similar to what says that it's approximate they're both white they're both black not that marra means that they look exactly the same which would of course answer also the question but then you have theas has a fascinating and very creative answer take a look at this listen to his answer you could say the two goats have to come out from the same womb twins that's the Two Goats if they come out from the same womb they were created get twins they could be identical you want the father and the mother of he says that's that's the difference Two Goats could be identical they're twins they're identical they look the same they're the same height sometimes you can't tell the differences often you can't tell the differences unless again you spend a lot of and you see the nuances they they have the same value say the same thing he said to say the same thing it means tati and momy were twins they were both Twins and the twins married each other the brother and sister who came out together married each other so one is a male one is a female and they look the same they have the same height they have the same voice but if I'm right this says this means that theah is you have to buy twins can't just buy two goats you have to buy twins because that's how they're going to be sh Mish huh dumb in blood you're saying dumb in blood identical in the blood not just siblings not from the same womb but twins the same womb two siblings don't look alike but twins the same seed if it depends there different types of twins but imagine if it's the same if it's the same uh egg that splits so then it's literally the same egg so it's shov m identical M this is on this they asked a big question there's something off here what's off about this says why not why can't it be by a father and a mother so you're going to tell me when a sister marries a brother no and if a sister did marry a brother the child is not a bener or murder doesn't say anywhere that a has to come from a koser marriage doesn't say anywhere on the contrary the gor clearly says holds it doesn't have to be a kosher marriage at all take a look son hrin same sug if the mother was not suitable to the Father the child does not why not I don't care if they were not supposed to get married to each other this is a father and this is a mother illegitimate the boy may be a momer maybe they weren't allowed to marry each other she may have been married before and she never got a divorce she may be his sister but is she his mother yeah is he her his father yeah is it a problematic marriage yes is it immoral yes were they supposed to be married no are they supposed to get divorced yes but it's still a mother and a father actually says in the story says she has to have a ga of in other words ISU it should be a definition of a marriage a brother and a sister a you might say it's not a g of issues it's not a marriage that to acknowledges marriage by definition is a religious institution what's what do marriage mean what does it mean you married people argue there should be different types different definitions of marriages it really doesn't make sense marriage is a religious concept two people living together fine why you calling it a marriage for tax purposes the definition of marriage is a Transcendent idea why what makes something marriage not marriage if two people are in the same house for 29 years are they married they didn't go through they're not married what makes marriage marriage is being together why do we even have a name for marriage why is there something called marriage even when you talk about civil marriages the definition of marriage is already a concept it's not a reality it's a concept that has to be introduced the T says this is marriage this is not marriage it's not issues but it's not ISU Rashi says but she's still a mother he's still a father doesn't say is it says mother and father biologically this is the mother and biologically this is the father no so why does why can't there be a brother and a sister could be a brother and a sister he says by goats Yeah by people not why not we have a clear says still if it twins so we're talking about twins the ran says why didn't yov rec why didn't y recognize yakov's voice yob was a twin with [Laughter] as okay I don't know you know the Mias yob was a twin of asov if you say means the voice is the voice of then you say had a different voice but then you should have been very suspicious I mean you hear your child's voice you know it's the wrong boy you feel like ASA but you sound like yob so says doesn't mean the voice what does it mean means the language the way of speaking the verbiage different different the way he's talking he's like whoa ASA went to some seminar on how to communicate between hunting and bringing the food he figured it all out different the ra also says why didn't yov recognize ra and Leia Leia's voice he probably spoke to her in the tent I mean a whole night he didn't say a word he probably said ma when they came home noep so she said Ma how was the wedding did you like the food what do you think about the music did you like the flowers what do you think about the you like the whole you saw the vies table my father made I mean the EP a conversation no what do people talk about after a wedding maybe some more personal things he right away sees us so you have to say Le and had the same voice so this it's not it's hard to understand what did he mean some want to say which is a very interesting interpretation we have a CL in for we have a cloud but let me first give an intro for Ben to be a Ben you have to be certain this is the father and this is the mother how are we certain today you have DNA tests then how are you certain the answer is how do you know know you know who the mother is how does one know who the father is it's hard to know the answer is generally you assume that a woman is with her husband this is her husband she's married to him he's the father could it be that he's not the father it's possible we don't know but that's what we assume we assume we give people the benefit of the doubt that they're living a moral life he is your husband he's the father of the kid unless we know a clear situation where something else happened of course there was a first marriage she didn't whatever it is but generally that's what we assume no here can you say that if she's married to her own brother there's no B he's not a legitimate husband the whole thing is immoral so perhaps the Assumption the assumption that he is the father is not to be embraced anymore how do you know just like she marry this fellow who she's not allowed to marry cuz it's her brother and Awin maybe she does other things that she's not supposed to do and if she does other things that she's not supposed to do he's saying he's the father he's not even the father and once he's not the father there's no Ben you have to have a father and a mother you can't have another man who says I'm the father it's not the father maybe that's what Theus means not a bad answer it's not why cuz then you can't prove he's the father once you can't prove he's the father perhaps it doesn't work this is a from the P the B says this but the truth is that it's hard to say this why because the gamar clearly says thata says we learned that if if the mother is not suitable to the father he's not a and the says what does it mean not suitable it doesn't mean that they're not all to be together because that still works because she's the mother and he's the Father the gar says not suitable means that they don't have the same sound the same voice the same height the same looks as have said otherwise according to this the should have said much simpler it's not just he's the mother he's the father and therefore is the mother father says no you should be afraid he's not the father we don't say that we don't say that besides you can have two situations where this is not a concern and that is let's say they were twins born from non-jewish parents they're not Jewish they both convert to Judaism are they allowed to marry each other biblically they allowed to marry each other yeah non-jew converts to Judaism you're like a new child ah you're my sister biologically or my sister biblically we can marry each other yes the rabbi said not because it would have been a very sticky situation when you're not Jewish you're not let to marry this girl suddenly you became Jewish suddenly you became Jewish and everything is degraded you can marry this girl so the rabbi said stick away from family you can also marry your mother so to speak funny situation right you convert your mother converts marry your mother you don't say that the rabbi said not but Ben is a Biblical Mitzvah so biblically can it work yeah and even if you're going to say rabic not what if this couple said we're not going to follow the rabic law we're going to get married still a Ben so we happen or if you want a practical situation if they were both locked up in prison alone in a chamber so you could testify that he is the father there's no question that he is the father so in this situation you can say maybe he's not the father he can have and in the previous situation of twins you can't even say it was Hally problematic it wasn't Hally problematic so why does the say it's not why is it not it is no he says it's not by goats Yeah by people not probably what this means is not that it's inconceivable means it's not practical when do you have a brother marrying a sister it's not a practical thing twins no and still you should be certain that he's the father it's not practical could it happen of course it can happen but even among non-jews it's not common a brother marries a sister it's one of the what about twins that are goats this is common twins that are born goats it's not a complicated scenario does it always happen no but it's a normal thing you could say it's a Mitzvah to get two goats that are twins not the end of the world they have to look the same they have to have the same he they have to have the same value to tell me that this happens twins marry and therefore it's a common thing so Ruda says it's not going to happen it's not it never happened it never is it possible you're going to come up with a situation yeah you lock them up in a prison and you'll know for sure he's the father shine they converted to Judaism and then they decided to get married okay but this is not something that you could rely on as a regular occurrence could be that's what he meant not it's not conceivable in reality it's not part of practical reality and if this is the case the remains that the goats are twins the Two Goats of Yim Kipper came out of the same womb the same time or a few minutes apart from the same mother and this is what you bring y Kipper and Pim is like Yim Kipper exhibit number three we say every morning and there's a beautiful song on these words you said it this morning yes you sang it this morning when you said it how fortunate we are how good is our our part how pleasant our lot how beautiful how gorgeous our inheritance what is the difference between and did you ever think about this and are they really all so beautiful is your galic and is your yusha unbelievable like y Mish every one of us has such Yas and what about what are these three things on one we say m on the other one we say man and on the third we say very different realities the explanation in all of this has to do with a very fundamental question and these are not from the small questions these are from the big questions as we could say as if you wish and that is it's one of the big questions that's probably spanning Millennia maybe since the first person was created and it continues till today we all ask this question in one way or another some of us ask it often some of us ask it infrequently some of us ask it consciously and some of us ask it un consciously and that is should we try to make sense out of life the women are laughing and the men don't know what I'm talking about should we try this is what the weather the weather this is the weather's perspective on my question thank you God I asked should we try to make sense out of life boom boom boom that's what happens when you try to make sense out of life I acknowledged it and it calmed down you see when you don't try to make sense it starts making sense maybe should we try to make sense out of life or to put it in this different ways should we try to explain God should we try to explain the or is it a useless foolish and immature Endeavor depends what age you ask right if you're 14 if you're 20 if you're 40 somebody once told me he says there's a difference between a 20-y old a 40y old and a 60y old when you're 20 you're very self-conscious who am I what do I look like who do I fit in with who I don't fit in with who's my friend who's not my friend which click you know what's my future shim Yesa you know what type of guy am I what type of you know you're like very busy you're busy grooming yourself in one way or another and you desperately want to fit in based on a certain conception or perception of what you think is good and right and beneficial Etc he tells me when you're 40 years old you tell yourself you know what everybody could jump in the lake I am who I am you like me good and if you don't like me also good there's a few Bridges you can go to I'm this is who I am I know you look at me funny this person this but this is who I am I make peace with it when you're 60 you realize nobody was ever looking at you okay I'm not 60 yet so I don't know about that reality but this is what an old sage once told me so some questions you know there's a difference of how you look at life when you're 15 you're 25 you're 35 you're 65 but the truth is that this question in Jewish philosophy and in and in and in mus and in cab and in teres anister you will find two streams of consciousness among Jewish thinkers take for example mitzvas how do we deal with mitzvas example number one is there a real logic to Mitzvah do they really make sense like really really I know we all here and and and symbols and it works this way and that way and a med and a but do they really make sense is there a real logic to themin m mza kosher Mater lul shates Kus whatever it is 630 mitv counting 49 days drinking four cups of wine whatever it is all theonas of shabas fasting him Kipper not eating cheeseburgers is there a real logic to them or is the logic Irrelevant this is what God wants this is what your creator wants this is what you do it's his world if I invite you as a guest into my house I was discussing kasas the other day with somebody so he says I can't accept this I want to eat what I want to eat don't tell me what I what I should eat so I said I'll just give you a simple example if I invite you as a guest into my house and I tell you here in the house we take off our shoes in front by the front door anybody has that Minh okay I learned that a little later in life you take off your shoes this is how we do in the house anyway there's rules this is what goes into the refrigerator this is the food that's taken into the house this food my kids are allergic to you can't bring it into the house and there's certain rules how we live in this house in this kitchen and a person comes into the house and starts doing whatever he wants completely whatever he wants breaks all the rules naturally the house will look at him and say listen if you want to be in this house this is how you live in this house you want to do whatever you want go find yourself another house God created the world he created you he took you into his kitchen took you into his dining room took you into his living room he said here enjoy but these are the rules in this house you say I don't want to keep by it okay go find yourself your own house go create yourself from nothing go find yourself sources of food go create a universe for yourself there's plenty of them out there there and go find one go live there it's irrelevant so you understand I understand today more I understand today less it's another perspective and if you look again at Jewish thinkers you'll see different perspectives RAM for example wrote a called the guide for the perplexed in it he tried to explain rationally the reason for this most of the 630 Mitzvah even the Mitzvah we call which we Define as superrational laws the ramb writes in in a few places the r says that a person should try to understand whatever he's capable of understanding even those he says it in a few places in the at the end of try to wrap your brain around what you can wrap others argued you could try today tomorrow but it's almost irrelevant basically to wrap your brain around God would be like uh wrapping your tongue around the Sun you ever tried to do that take your tongue and wrap it around the Sun I mean good luck the same question is why the world was created why was the World created why are we here why was the world ever created I once told you I grew up in a community that was a he's already on but he was a classic alcoholic he was a real shiker his name wasman the shiker we called him very intelligent fellow a talent ented guy he became an alcoholic and he would sit on an island there on Eastern Parkway with a flash maska with a bottle of mashka you knew him and he would drink he had very insightful ideas so he once told me that the opening Rashi is his motto of existence the says in the beginning of so says right away so he says I'll tell you the meaning in the beginning God created heaven and earth took there was no need that's it he says that's my philosophy in life this whole thing was not needed but here's the big question when we're dealing with great philosophical questions what is the right Jewish approach why did God create the world what is the purpose of life why am I here why are you here why is the universe here why are we here what's the answer to this question some people don't lose sleep over this question they don't even think about it some people think about it all the time they don't do anything else they're just busy figuring out and they say when I'll figure it out I'll start living and some of us are stuck somewhere in the middle but once in a while a serious person asks this question why why are we here why do we exist others think it's a foolish Endeavor try to explain quantum mechanics to your goldfish you ever tried take the Goldfish and say I'm going to explain to you quantum mechanics or even simpler stuff take goldfish start discussing what what's the point you want to know why God created the world again wrap your your wrap your tongue forget the son over your head over your whole head and then the Sun and the Moon and the other galaxies and the universe it's fule they said there was a philosophy Professor who taught his students for years and then they were giving they were they had to give their fi present their final dissertation and right before that there was the final exam after years and years of studying philosophy and they prepared for weeks and then for months they expected an exam of 250 questions and they would have to sit for 78 hours and respond the professor gave them a piece of paper and the paper had one question and the question consisted of one word and the Word was why and that was it why that was his question after 5 10 years of studying philosophy on a PhD level all I want to ask is why and the students began writing McGillis McGillis long long long answer and everybody failed he failed every student besides two one got an A and one got an A+ the guy who got an A wrote one word why because but he didn't get an A+ the guy who got an A+ you know what he wrote why why not you see the first one was still stuck in the realm of logic why because the second one says why why not who even said why is a question so really he was paraphrasing somebody was sitting with his colleagues and they were discussing why God created the world has a book he says cuz he wanted to rambam says the same thing cuz he wanted to you look in Caba will give you reasons in Zoya you'll have reasons and you'll have reasons in a lot of works of philosophy will give you full books with reasons that they quote in a lot of the seminars and the workshops and the essays so they were discussing it says begin he wanted to be known says to give good it's the nature of good to bestow good to be able to recognize with different reasons said I don't know that says in Shem created the world because he craved to have a home in the lower elements of reality so he said means a TAA a craving you don't ask questions you have a t why no it sounds like humor but it's really a profound idea a so suddenly hasem has Tas like I have Tas of course what he was trying to say was something profound and that is the very concept of why is also a creation logic is also creation so you're going to ask why on God when part of creation was the very creation of the concept why asking why assumes that logic precedes God and God now has to fit into logic I say why why did you go this today why did you travel today she tell me oh because this and this even you say I'm a doesn't follow my patterns of logic but he follows his patterns of logic he is consistently inconsistent or he is consistently illogical but that's also illogic mishas has a beauty and a logic of its own sometimes makes much more sense than being normal certainly more exciting but the very concept of logic is a creation so I say why did God create the world what you're assuming that there's a logic that was there before and now God has to fit into it so the bat says conion is the very concept of a doesn't apply and yet we don't stop asking the question we don't stop asking a question why did Hashem create the world what's the purpose of life why are we here the T itself which is hashem's discusses the question and the to itself sometimes discuss the fact that there's no you can't even ask the question and yet we still ask the question so what's the answer is it because or is it why not or the very definition of question and answer really doesn't apply here so the truth is and this is a very fundamental idea especially in the teachings of the students of the B throughout the generations in the world of nister especially in the world ofus the writings of the balatan and his colleagues and his successors and so forth that both perspectives have authenticity to them both perspectives are genuinely correct it's not either or as Jews we don't like either or we want the cake and we want to eat it too there are many things we understand and God wanted us to understand what we could understand and that's why so much of reality is comprehensible to a particular degree that's why he gave us a mind the mind is the great gift that the human being has to ask to question to inquire to be inquisitive to wonder and to try to understand where you're standing and in whose presence you're standing to understand to understand nature and to try to understand that which is beyond nature that's why he chose to employ to a particular degree again to a significant degree logical systems and patterns in much of the universe in much of yish and in much of our own P so the study of Science in all of its manifestations and the study of T in all of its branches is ultimately about understanding systems systems of thought systems of nature systems of spiritual science and nature there is the science that we call science and then there's the spiritual science of the universe there is the science of the body and there's the science of the soul the science of the body we call by biology the science of the Soul we call tus anister it's the science of the soul the spiritual science of the universe the spiritual physics of the universe the inner spiritual rhythms of the universe this is the convergence of which is the structure of Judaism with the inner rhythm of Judaism which is called caus Etc and yet we must know what we can know we must know that there is much that we don't know and not because we're lazy but because we can't know and we cannot appreciate that there's what I know and there's what I don't know and then there's something even more there's what I know that I don't know and then there's what I don't know that I don't know and what I don't know that I don't know is far more than what I know and then what I know that I don't know cuz what I know that I don't know I still know what I don't know that I don't know I'm really clueless about and that's probably 99.99999% of our knowledge what we don't know that we don't know is concussion you don't ask questions but now allow me to take this question and personalize it and my question now is does your life make sense not does life make sense does the universe make sense do does Mitzvah make sense does your life make sense can you make sense of your own story should you even try if you would meditate on this question and some of you sitting here meditate on this question often some of you a little too often I would say maybe myself included do you see a pattern in your life can you recognize a rhythm are you dancing should you be dancing to a particular beat beat can you perceive a plot a story a narrative a story line if I would ask you today does your life have a theme you know how a novel has a theme a play has a theme a book has a theme hopefully a company has a theme does your life have a theme a message is there a Mahal is there like a pattern when you're watching a play or a film a documentary a book there's a theme the beginning and the end are very deeply connected a good speech has a theme always a beginning a middle and an end wait till the end okay you have to wait till the end that's a good point let's hope we'll wait a long time right you have to wait till the end very good but sometimes in the middle you you're tempted to try to figure it out you know why because you want to know how I should continue how I should continue the story can I answer can you answer what is the ultimate mission of your life why did your soul come down to this world what are you meant to accomplish what are you meant to accomplish a lot of things but is there something specific or some specific thing this is what I'm here for this is who I am people ask this question the whole time I personally get lots of emails and people who come and say tell me why I'm here I'm like if you tell me why I'm here I'll tell you why you're here let's swap a guy calls me the other day he says he wants to get into dreams he wants to start deciphering his dreams and he thinks I should also I told him I have a hard time still figuring myself out during the daytime when I'm finished with figuring myself out during the day then I'll go to my dreams I still don't understand my thoughts during the day how do we even go about this question if you would have five minutes with over coffe your te some of us used to call it daving but if you can actually talk to God for a few minutes intimately and you would ask him these questions what do you think he would answer you huh figure it out yourself or come to this class yeah now on one level we have lots of career counselors today and they say we will help you figure out what you're good at and what the world needs you for and if you can marriage your passion and your skill to a need of the world that's the recipe for success but remind me your American Express number first we all would naturally look first at what we're good at every person possesses a certain set of skills affinities Hobbies uh Tendencies inclinations Cravings preconditions we each come from a particular place a particular milu certain type of family we each have certain challenges certain vices certain Natures certain things we're good at certain things we're horrible at and it seems that this is where we begin to answer these questions we all know that some of us are better at crunching numbers some of us are better at baking pastries some of us make a chicken soup or a potato coule like nobody else and some of us would not be able to do that but when it comes to writing computer codes they're like brillians some of us when we see computer codes we want to commit suicide others when they see computer codes they suddenly come to life this is the language they live in some of us are good at Building Homes some of of us are good at giving people advice besides ourselves some of us are good or think we're good at giving speeches practicing medicine law sitting in a lab and figuring out DNA playing football singing opera dancing or whatever it else it may be and we come to Great experts and they tell us here you got to go there was a guy who came to a rabbi and he said I need a job so the rabbi said what other choices he said I could become a singer or I could become a dancer so the rabbi said I think you should become a dancer he says why you have seen me dance he said no but I heard you sing so today you have multitudes of personality and aptitude tests out there anybody here took such tests you have IQ tests and you have EQ tests and you have mayor bricks tests and you have sat tests and you have L tests I know somebody who for maybe 30 40 years every few months finds another place to go and find out who they are and what they're good for for for decades nonstop and everybody of course has a different interpretation of the self and there's probably many more that I don't know about or I don't want to know about some of them are more useful than others but ultimately they look at a few things what you enjoy what comes easy for you what makes you feel good what you're good at any rational person has to take these things into account before I can can decide what my life's mission is that's one dimension of it but just like we spoke about the creation of the world and just like we spoke about MIT and just like we speak about all other philosophical questions it's also true here and that is the secret behind creation and the secret behind the Mitzvah is also true when it comes to our life's Journeys there is what I know and what I understand and there is that which I will not know I will not understand why here I go again with why it's a wrong question what what is this all about the soul is a pulsing throbbing mass of infinite Divine energy and therefore reason and rationality alone could only get us so far it can allow us to appreciate certain elements of our lives but since the soul is a just like it's part of the Divine just like the Divine is incomprehensible and to define the Divine as logic is simply not true again it would be wrapping your tongue around the Sun so sometimes in life we have to understand that our Soul's Journeys take us to places that we cannot Define in terms of logic I cannot always say ah I see logically the pattern I see why I ended up here because of my nature or because of my character sometimes I can see it and then I should see it and study it but sometimes I really cannot see it so reason is part of the story and I should of course choose to do something I'm good at something I'm passionate about something I can excel in and fine-tune skills and talents and resources that I have to maximize my opportunities to fulfill my duties and to maximize my potential but to minimize my entire mission to that which I can rationally see the patterns the cause the sequence the ramifications that is limiting the truth of the Soul just like to give the ultimate answer of why the world was created or what is the significance of this Mitzvah or that Mitzvah try to figure out what you could figure out follow that pattern but always be open to the fact that the possibilities are endless and the mission may be far from comprehension some things are reasonable and some things are Beyond Reason let's speak in a very personal way can I answer this question can you answer this question why have some of us been abused as children why have some of us growing up in functional homes and some of us in Dysfunctional homes is this the fault of the children and is is it even always the fault of the parents who may themselves be victims of previous dysfunctional situations they themselves are victims of other victims who are victims of other victims and they can all blame it on the original snake who told K to eat from the wrong tree so send a snake into therapy why you sending me into therapy it's all the snake's fault can I explain ultimately why some of us were born into opportunity and some of us were born into destitution can we explain why some of us had nurturing families and others is not the word why would be a profane question even to try to answer it some of us grew up with mentors who empowered us and some of us grew up with people who abused us some of us grew up with people who brought the best out of us and some of us grew up with people who brought out the worst in us some of us are still in relationships with people who make us dance and fly and some of us are in relationships with people who make us dead lifeless numb and stagnation stagnated and paralyzed each of us has vices virtues blessings curses challenges opportunities I can always point and say ah I get it this is it the first thing I have to have is humility so every morning we speak about three things is my my part it's the things that I can rationally identify and this is this is my portion in the world everybody has their Corner their portion this is what I'm good at this is what blessed me with whatever it may be these are opportunities I grew up into or I owned or I cultivated or I created but this is my could have I been somebody else yeah I have to be able to embrace what is my portion what is my lot what is my destiny I have my great challenges and I have my great virtues I have things that come easy for me and I have things that come very difficult for me and I have to work on I have things that I don't have to struggle with and I have things that I have to struggle with my whole life I'll never stop struggling some people it comes to food they don't stop struggling with food a day of their lives and others don't even understand what you're talking about it comes to alcohol oh some people don't know what gambling is they don't have it and others doesn't stop the same is true with so many other different I'm just giving examples internet stuff or other issues some people don't understand and some people understand too well you could see it in their eyes how well they understand these things a are those things I can identify this is my lot then this there's things I inherit all of us are ultimately products of fathers mothers genes that go back Generations Generations generations and that's part of who I am I am in many ways my father I am in many ways my mother my brothers and sisters were're all interconnected there are things that I inherit and like in every inheritance there are the great blessings of inheritance and there are challenges you could look at the ugly things and you could look at the beautiful things you have to be able to say my but then there's something else how pleasant is my what's a go let's say we have two people and one of the people is going to Merit to win so we throw we put in the the tickets and we take out a ticket say you're the winner is there a rational connection between you and victory you won the lottery there's a reason for it you can identify patterns you say it's a g what does a go mean go mean it's irrational we call it random Judaism doesn't call it random Judaism says it's superrational comes from a place that's deeper than the Mind figuring it out is it connected to you of course it's connected to you it's connected to the core of your soul to the part of your soul that is divine that is beyond reason the ability to be able to look at those aspects of my life and say how pleasant as my go I don't know why and I can't figure it out this is not from the things that I figure it out but I can embrace it with pleasantness and know that somehow this is part of my journey will I understand one day maybe maybe not maybe a little bit maybe a lot maybe all of it maybe nothing says you could see my back but not my face he says in life you could never see things ahead of you you can only see things in the rear view mirror things you could see make sense in the back as you say you come to the end of the book and you say ah you look back and you say ah now I see while it's happening you get upset you get frustrated you get annoyed you have to deal with a different a different voice in you I want you to take a look at a few lines that the balatan writes and Tanya Sim Zion he quotes a somebody which mitvah was your father most careful in he said others said different Mitzvah what do you mean would more careful all every Jew is obligated to do all the Mitzvah what type of question he's more careful than this he's careful in everything whatever he can just like every limb has its own individual function the eye eye sees and the ear hears every MIT accesses a special Divine infinite energy and even though every soul ought to observe all the 630 Mitzvah and sometimes comes down again in a gilgal in a reincarnation to do it none nonetheless Every Soul which is like a particular limb has a special unique extra connection with more power with this mitvah because this is connected to its unique Journey this is the meaning of the he doesn't say in which MIT was he careful he was careful in all which was he careful Beyond being careful the unique light that this is that is connected to this individual soul is not something you can always comprehend and wrap your brain around with reason with knowledge with comprehension it's beyond us it's rooted in God's thought which is beyond our mind down here we call it goo it looks random it looks not cohesive there's no pattern but why is it that way because it's not lower than Das it's higher than rationality now let's go back to M Ander this is the nature of the conversation between M and Esther M knows that Esther's life is hanging in the balance he's not impulsively wild not thinking about consequences he knows that he asked her to sacrifice her life and she tells him this is a life and death question I could go in and I'm going to die and then you won't have anybody rescued and now M has to respond to Esther how does he respond first thing he says is if you're thinking about your own skin if you're in the selfish mode it's like let the Jews whatever I feel bad you know I feel bad but what should I do I don't run the Persian Empire my husband is a low life I'm a is a Hitler what do you want me to do at least I'll be alive at least there'll be one Jew alive one day I'll have a child it'll be a if you're in that mode says you're not going to be saved they'll find out you're Jewish trust me and humon will make sure you die he's powerful enough next State he says Jews Will Survive you will not decide if they live or die H will not decide if they live or die their story is beyond you and Beyond hum and Beyond me but you will you and your father's home will be lost forever but then M comes to his third argument third argument seems very weak it's like this is the job you got to do your job no thank you not interested in my job and who knows but is not the regular M day like very who knows maybe yeah maybe not it's not an expression of doubt it's not even a request for information it's entire different type of response you see Esther has a big question a troubling question here and the question question Esther has is ultimately why me I was a good bakov girl great graduate of bakov b b whatever it is whatever B it is Valedictorian great great great girl top of the line where do I end up in I I end up in a palace with this man a non-jew a drunk an alcoholic unpredictable inconsistent a fool manipulated horribly insecure and now you're telling me to go into this man and I might die and M turns to her and says his was not I don't know I'm uncertain his M was M who can have the D who can wrap their brain around this reality that I know that this is why you became a queen but this is not something that you or I could have figured out when we looked at your personality when we looked at your character when we studied your future and we have said ah this is where Esther belongs this is her vocation this is her ultimate potential you had a different plan for your life you wanted to create a beautiful Jewish Home a beautiful Jewish Family look where you ended up this is your this is from a place that comes from God in his Essence deeper than hashem's intellectual systems this is from a place in your soul that is rooted in a place beyond your rational conception of figuring out how it goes there how you ended up there what did that do for Esther it allowed Esther and it brought out from her a commitment that was superrational that went beyond her trying to figure it out Beyond her trying to make sense what this allowed it brought out in Esther her power her commitment her of my neish her ultimate unwavering dedication and commitment Beyond rationality Beyond logic and says me is 50 me and 40 and 10 is 50 says in that there are 49 Gates of knowledge that were given to M besides number 50 number 50 is beyond 49 me the here comes from the 50th gate which completely comes Beyond rationality so and Esther asks a question why did I end up here how does a Jewish girl end up here M says I cannot explain logically why a beautiful yish a beautiful yisha girl ends up with a drunk moronic intoxicated Monarch why does Esther deserve this why from all Jewish woman did you end up in this do you have to go through this dilemma M says this is beyond D it's beyond human knowledge it's the ultimate secret of a Soul's mission in this world that is often inexplicable sometimes you look at somebody's life and all you could say is and in many ways that is the most comforting and truthful thing you could say to them don't rationalize don't justify don't minimize and don't try to make believe it's just it's wonderful it works it's perfect I have to be able to look you in your eyes and say this is from a place that I cannot Define I can't articulate I will not minimize I will not rationalize it's rooted in God's Essence Beyond Reason Beyond Logic the Soul's Journey essentially is often a Transcendent Journey an inexplicable Journey there's there but then there's also I don't know I don't know about me maybe one day I will I don't know about you it's certain elements of me so Esther herself now may have legitimate reasons to hesitate very good reasons logical reasons Esther's a logical girl that's for sure she's a brilliant girl yes she may be killed not only that there was a problem here says till now she was being forced into a relationship now it was the first time she would enter into intimacy by will first time not because that's the way to please so the says in this is the first time Esther valily surrenders her holy body to and the consequences for that Hally are very profound in terms of going back to another Jewish marriage after she does that so there's also a lot of problems this is the first time she would offer her body to the king but when she heard M's words she was inspired to act in a way that reached deeper than her own Das she took the plunge M wasn't being uncertain Mardi was being unwavering Mardi was being as decisive and as clear and as articulate as possible M was saying this is your ultimate Journey why this is your journey is a secret it's a secret to me it's probably a secret to you it's me because there are Parts in my life that as much I will as I will try I will not be able to figure out the connection and draw the lines I can't now take a look at the Kipper you have two goats and the two goats are twins that not only two goats that look alike like same mother same father identical that's what Theus tells us even if you don't want to go with that there are two goats that are identical where do they end up one goat ends up in the holy of holies where does the other goat end up down a cliff a zazil carrying all the black sins the scapegoat that carries all the sins you look at Two Goats you look at two people one ends upem in the holy of holies and one ends up LA on a cliff and as the gar says in the says in yum sometimes the middle of the mountain it's already disintegrated into many bones fragmentation Brokenness you say why did this goat end up in the and this goat ended up here why say I'll tell you why this goat grew up in a normal house and this goat grew up in a m house this goat's father was an a loving person a tender loving father spent time with his children was a nurturer was honest was ethical this one grew up with a mother and this of course so the Mish says no no no the they should be identical they look the same they were given the same countenance the same light they were nurtured to the same height they both gave their blood for both of them and they both spent the same money for both of them if he needed therapy he also got therapy if he needed karate he also got karate if he needed baseball he also got baseball he needed a tutor he also got a tutor he need a ski trip he also got a ski trip he needed this he also got this and this says they're twins so it's not like you could say here the father was 32 years old he was a clueless and now finally he's 46 he got to his sense he became normal no they're twins the same mother the same father all the stick that he had he had or she had so now my question is if that's the case why does this goat end up in the holy of holies and this goat ends up in aaz and what's the answer to thatu It's A guu M I don't know I don't know the Journey of souls some things I know but much more of what I know I don't know some things I know about my Soul some things I could know about your soul and I could know about my children's souls and some things I don't and it doesn't mean I don't know it and therefore I run from it I detach from it it means I open myself up to a relationship with this journey from a place that is deeper than my own comfort zone my own logical patterns and systems I have to be able to say this is somehow the Journey of your soul of my soul there's a pleasantness to it there's a profound Beauty to it even though I ask myself how did I end up in's Palace a woman came over to me once before puim after a class and she said I don't know why people celebrate puim I said what's bothering you the sh it's true some people p became a miserable holiday because they have to prepare 250 sh and eachus has to be nicer than the other to impress a neighbor they don't care about the mitzvah is to give two gifts to one friend take an orange and a h and give it to your friend you did you want to give more give give more says give people make themselves miserable on purm supposed to be the happiest day they're intense already three weeks before purm is coming the most miserable day of the year okay that's our choice she says no that's not the reason you know why I don't celebrate purum because I always think about the tragedy of Esther say what do you mean she says the Jews won they went to eat they went to drink they went to party and what happened to her where was she I said she was in the palace she remained with him she never left she never came back to her people she never built a Jewish Family she never came to AB Mitzvah or a wedding she never dressed up her own she never what did she have she had this crazy mind has a husband that she stuck with what a tragic story why does nobody think about Esther I told her I said abson Point well taken made me think said but I'm going to ask you a question if the year is 1938 and you're living in Berlin and you know that you could enter into a relationship with from the Nazi Third Reich you can enter into a relationship with them with this person with this man and as a result of that none of the 6 million Jews would be killed but that's where you would be would you celebrate your life or would you curse your life every day when you wake up and you look in the mirror you know that 6 million Jews were saved and the tooth through which they were saved was your sacrifice would you look at yourself as a or would you say ah tell me the truth would you say thanks for this opportunity or you would say why can't I be like everybody else and she said I would say thank you for the opportunity I said that's what Esther said every day every Jew was saved because of her and then it would have been like the Holocaust and it would have been every Jew and she was the tool through which they were saved Esther did not look at herself as a victim did she understand why her and not somebody else I don't think so said this is it's your your light your connection to the a it's not my connection every person was born in a different place born to different parents given different challenges experience different experience and some of them very painful ones I don't know why but I do know that I have the power to say I will open myself up to it with every fiber of my being and I won't have to limit myself to make sense out of it because then I actually paralyze my journey rather than open myself up to a journey and indeed this whole story we're describing the med brings out in in a very fascinating story everybody knows the storyi is confronted with a situation that most Jews are worshiping the the prophets of the B so what doesi do he tells the Jews Kings 117 how long are you going to get dance on as we say you can't sit on the fence if God is God go to God if the Bal is the Bal go to the B what does a Leo do the med thek says the navi says he takes two bulls and he tells the prophets of the bow take a bull and I'll take a bull and we'll both offer it to our god you will offer it to your God none of us will create a fire none of us will create wood where the fire could burn and then let's see which God will burn up the fat of this animal and accept it as an offering so we know the story gives them the bull he takes the bull they slaughter the bull they put it on their Altar and they try to do everything no fire and then comes and the fire consumes the Flesh of his Bull and the whole nation screams out so the medish says on this story first it says that Ali told them choose a bull and I'll take a bull the end of the story it says he took the bull and he gave it to them so the med saysi had two bulls two two and the second first bull that he said go over to them and they were about to take it that's what the med says the bull opened its mouth it's a famous says what does it mean the bull open its mouth doesn't necessarily mean physically it could mean the masle of the bull the of the Bull the energy of the bull it's a separate issue and the bull turns to Le and he says these words me and my me and the other bull are twins we both came out from the same mother two calves came from the same womb at the same time from the same parents grew up in the same avas in the same in the same barn and ate from the same uh what's the word Tru lived in the same Corral were educated by the same parents and he you're sending to God and me you're sending to get my Creator angry it's not fair says dear just like the name of God will be Sanctified through him the name of God will be Sanctified through you but the bull still didn't want to go so he took it and he gave it over and that's why the change of the text of the story this is the med I ask you a question doly had it had a conversation with what was his initial thought what was this thought at the end initially he said it's not fear he's going to God and I'm going to make God angry Le says you're not making God angry on the contrary God is being Sanctified through you because you will go you will be slaughtered you will not be consumed this will demonstrate the futility of the prophets of the Bal that's what always say What did the what did the cow think in the beginning what was the to the cow to the bull and also the bull keeps on saying he says my friend is going here and I'm going there what do you care about where your friend is going where your brother is going what is this jealousy or the issue is you don't want to make God angry the meaning of course is much profounder the bull was saying something very deep the bull knew that it's going to make a KES the bull knew that it's going to disprove but the bull was asking a question there's something unjust with twins he ends up as a carbon and I end up as a it's true I'm going to disprove Pro them I'm going to show that their God is fule because I'm not being burnt but why is it that I end up as a g as something being slaughtered to the idols and he ends up as for Holiness we're twins we had the same education what does le answer in the they know when whenever the r says it's not a comparison it's the same G he could have said this and this it's just the same it's the same it's the same definition it's the same the same kadas that comes from him comes from you don't compare don't don't don't think it's different there's different Journeys he will sanctify God through sanc if Ying God by going up in the flames and you will sanctify God by going into the place of AAR and demonstrating its futility and it's the same kadus it's not a compromise it's not a horrible thing it's not that your destiny is neb you're a loser you're not a loser you have a different Journey but it's the shame different people end up in different places twins Two Goats twins and we say why am I dealing with this why is my brother not dealing with this that's fear not only that the med says threw Lots it was a goal there too but the bull still didn't want to go you know why the bull didn't want to go cuz if the bull would go on its own maybe you could say ah maybe it really belongs there Eli took the bull and put it there in other words this was just another it was just part of the mission it wasn't independent it wasn't separate I think this is true in each one of our Lives we try to choose lives marriages children vocations careers that we enjoy that make sense and it's important but sometimes the ultimate purpose of my life lay in an experience a job an opportunity an encounter a journey and a search that I could never anticipate I could never know how and why I ended up here I could have never planned it I could have never imagined it if you would have asked Esther as a girl what is the likelihood that she would become the husband of aashish the queen and the first lady of the Persian Empire and saved the entire Jewish world she would say you are insane and even meds will not help you so what m is teaching us here is never run away from opportunity never dismiss a moment that falls into your lap there is a soul that only you can save there's a heart that you can there's a heart that only you can mend and there's a spirit that only you can uplift there's a situation that only you can fix and sometimes it's in the explicable and bizarre moments that your soul thrives the said a soul comes down for 7080 years to do one favor to one Jew materially and certainly spiritually imagine a person lives for 80 years 90 years 120 years they do many mitzvas they learn a lot of says the ultimate story of your life is the one deed that trumps them all the one deed that ultimately gives them all their ultimate significance and validity the one gesture that benefits my soul more than anything else it's the ultimate reason I came into the world and sometimes I could never ever anticipate that sometimes I could never look forward to it sometimes I could never understand why me and how me and here I have to be able to look at my Journeys and say some of it Isa and some of of it is me and those I have to embrace with the same core commitment and even more than everything else yes I don't imagine it I don't prepare for it I prepare my and I embrace myha but God prepares my and I look at it and I say some of us have a opportunity to be the bull that spends time in the holy of holies or to be the bull of el the goat that spends time in the holy of holies or the bull of Eli that is considered holy but some of us are given the opportunity or the mission and each of us in our generation to be able to deal with those who are completely in a very different realm and some people say why should I waste my time dealing with prophets of B what do I go therefore why not remain in the holy of holies and Ali says sh don't run away from those opportunities to be able to go into darker and more difficult and challenging places and reveal the Holiness that's there this message is so Central to pu because it's how got Esther to do what she did when Esther heard it changed her whole Paradigm she opened herself up to it and it brought out her infinite potential once her infinite potential came out she was a different person when she was a different person her mindset was different she got it done and that's why when we had to choose a name for the Y the name is Pur it's not just H's poor then it would be called purm it's not just H's lot purm plural means there's another lot going on hamon cast his lot but M cast his lot and Esther cast her lot when she heard this is in the it's beyond us Esther said if this is my goal it must bring out something in me that is beyond my Das and that's why Ur were instructed to drink who makes such a you're supposed to drink until you don't know between cursed his and blessed his so some people interpret it you have to get so smashed and intoxicated that you don't know what hit you and the women suffer plenty from that yeah that's why you also don't like por him right but the truth is this very it's a very deep idea put him is not you get drunk and you're so drunk you don't know what hit you that's a very superficial and meaningless definition of purm purm means you have the courage to embrace life's Mission by having the acute confidence and courage to be able to transcend your own logical patterns and structures to be able to say this is what I fit into this is what I don't fit into this is what makes me happy this makes me miserable this is me and this is destructive of my life until you don't know you go to a place of it's beyond my and then even though there are things in life that you want to say this is cursed and this is blessed this is from h and this is from M this is the life that I like and this is the life that I hate this is the part of life that I embrace and this is the part of life that's cursed and disgusting and abominable and get it out of me this is half of my personality and my psyche and my background and my system and my this and my that get it out of me but Esther had the courage to be able to appreciate no if this is your life this is part of the secret journey of your soul this is connected to your essence and your essence is deeper than your Das and therefore you could reach a space of to be able to embrace all of yourself and all aspects of your life with serenity with wholesomeness with determination and with joy have a wonderful week [Applause] we didn't get to that is there is this the same no because sometimes you have AES you have AES it looks holy poor means that it looks Persian doesn't even look holy yeah that's the idea the same hashem's name is not in the Milla You Don't See name there thank you for coming do we here before what so I still why was it in Persia so why is it Po and not g because G ises yeses is a holy language Pur is a Persian the demonstration is the point is that sometimes it doesn't even look like there's any Holiness here there's no kadus not only is it a lot to KES it's a Latin Persian that's why hashem's name is not mentioned in the it's even more concealed yeah this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at w.the usa.net donate