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Chayei Sarah | Land & Marriage | Rabbi Ari Kahn | November 13th 2025
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So this year as all the sh this year are
sponsored by Rabbi Michael and Jerry Lax
meter for the foolish lame of their
granddaughter of Surah Bach Aarona she
should have fooshar
Israel
they also wrote on the bottom of the
page in small letters that it's uh in me
in in loving memory of my mother Rifka
mayor and mind so I will say this week's
paris where Rifka comes onto the scene
So, uh, so, uh,
I guess as long as we're in the
scholarly
there's going to be a, you know, some
element
of, uh, of my mother sneaking into this.
But we're we're going to start
we'll start from the beginning and we're
going to ultimately come to something
which I think inevitably we get to
whenever we talk about kaisara and that
is that there are lots and lots and lots
of words there. There and and there are
lots of words in a place that they could
have been very few words and I actually
started a different share this week in
the exact same way in the exact same
place. Although this one I'm going to go
in a different direction but I just you
know observed that if you look at the
first
okay there's two elements there's
perkovgiml and perkuftal in kovgiml you
have the death and burial of sara and
then in kuftalid you have the courtship
it's not as romantic as it could be I
mean when you send someone else you have
the courtship and then the marriage of
Rifka so if I were to use the marriage
of Abraham and Sarah to contrast they
don't even get a whole possib
they get half a puk. It's shared
together with some with someone else.
And then if you compare it to right
afterwards, you have the death of of
soak dies. It didn't even say, you know,
you don't have the long negotiations and
where he's buried. It does say he he
died in Karan. But over here, you have
an outlier in terms of both parts and
that is just this
all of this information. And then on top
of all the information, then you have
the repetition of information. So that's
part of the problem. But let's go back
to the beginning.
So these are the years of Sarah's life.
This formula is used by a number of
people, but for some reason this rash is
more famous than some of the others and
that's for a very simple reason and that
is that the the beginning of the para
always gets more attention than other
points of the para. Aram's death is
described the same way and I believe
there are others butan
so there's a lot of discussion about
that why she dies in this particular
place after the aa which is I guess is
part of the problem part of the question
how closely is this aligned with the
aada and you have lots of midrashi sites
that connects them after a goes back to
besva and then you have a nice long
ramban there which is all about location
and We discussed that Ramban at some
point in the past also and one of the
things he says and don't tell me that
Arams lived in different cities. He did
not like that suggestion and then it
continues and it says vyavo abraham that
becomes the question where is he coming
from but as I said if you try to
midrashically connect it to the aada
then you actually raise all kinds of
questions but of course there's another
element and that is that despite those
who claim that ye was 37 and rifka at
that moment was three we do not know
Rifka's age we do not know how old Rifka
was compared there to Yeitzk there is no
source to tell us how old she was we
know how old he was when they got
married. He was 40. But there is this
again this nice midrashic concept that
Rifka was born after the aada. So
therefore, if she's born after and he
gets married at 40, then she must have
been three. Now I'll just point out not
only is Rifka's birth mentioned there,
but so was her parent, so was a previous
generation. So you want to say they were
also born right then after the Aada. I
mean, it seems really quite selective to
point that out. in in in my mind there's
another reason to frame Rifka's age at
three and that is most likely and I'm
getting ahead of myself now but that's
most likely in order to create something
which is much more thematic and that is
that we know that Araham recognizes God
at the age of three and therefore to
make her as somebody who is very
Arahamike I think is much more of the
explanation rather than getting into
other kinds of questions. I mean also in
the the whole texture of chapter 24 when
the avid comes and she goes running and
she's called an a is not somebody who's
three who's somebody who's older. So I'm
just saying I think that the textual
evidence points to an older age. there
are already balot who have some kind of
tradition that she's 14 but I'm going to
say it again in terms of kish itself
there is absolutely no evidence unless
you'll say that now that itself is
evidence but we have no idea how old she
was to um but what we do know is that
they were married for 20 years
before they had children cuz we're told
is 60 when the children are born and is
40 when they get married but her age,
I'll say it again, is not there, but yet
every kid who went to yeshiva knows that
she was three year old three years old
at that point. And as I said, it's funny
what we know and uh or why we think we
know what we know. So just leaving that
for a moment. I want to get to something
which is much stronger and much more
important in terms of our discussion
today and that is moving from Gimmel to
but first again we'll just make sure we
understood the end of
and there are those including Rabbi
Salvetric who have questioned the
sequence of first eulogizing and then
crying what's public what's private and
he has discussed this at length but Alto
Abraham then has to uh deal with some
technical issues
and he speaks to the now just first of
all who are b
come from or so the answer is either you
know or you don't know and the only way
that you'll know is if you read the
really boring parts of uh of the where
after the flood there's a whole laundry
list of names and then you will have
found out that is in fact one of the
children of Kanan which means that
whatever you're going to say about the
Canaanites and their rights to the land
they're living in the land at that point
the the the
are people who ultimately are from
ultimately and these are the people who
will be dispossessed of their land
moving forward.
So what we're told then is that Aram
approaches them
or maybe remember some vers
and he says as follows.
So G has a connotation of strangeness
an alien vto is a resident. So an alien
resident almost by the way is a
contradiction in terms but apparently
what he's saying is that I live here
amongst you. I live here with you but
I'm not with you. That there is that
there is nonetheless a difference. And
that is going to be important again not
just for chapter 23 but also for 24.
Peric gimmel and kftalid are going to be
expressions of this. Now we have some
other information but let's just hold on
to the other information for a moment.
again he's with them but he's differenti
so the first suggestion here is which
sounds like give to me give to me we
don't know yet about any financial
arrangements but he's saying you know I
live with you and I need social services
and one of the things that you need as a
as a resident here is that you need a
place to bury your dead and he goes this
is what I
And then of course they're going to say
and take among our best from our best
plots in our best cemeteries
which means Afra has expressed that he's
different. He's a gtov
and they're expressing that no you are
you're amongst us. So then of course
right go
take from our best plots
but
so and then we'll continue and will
finally say again earlier
but over here he'll say very clearly
I want this particular place. Now again,
if I had to guess, I were and I know
there are traditions that Adam and Eve
are buried there. But if I had to guess,
they're offering to be buried amongst
them. And Aram is saying that no, I'm
not amongst you. I just live amongst you
because I'm a gervos. And Aram is
stressing the difference while they're
actually expressing the opposite and the
acceptance. On the other hand, they also
called him and I want to come back to
that point. They call him the this.
Well, it's not just elohim and not just
so the Ezra and that's in source number
two. He frames the elohim again focusing
on the on the part because you could say
that you are a leader. You're or you're
and I guess I'm really you a little bit
wondering about the difference between
Nasi versus Melik.
Maybe we never imagined a know maybe we
don't have any reason to imagine that a
is their leader. But hold on a second.
Izzarra takes it and says
soim is another way of saying that
you're a godly man. We know that God is
with you. Which is really interesting
because these people are pagans. So the
pag but but but pagans don't have
exclusivity. They're willing to accept
all kinds of gods and therefore they see
and they
>> Could you say that again? They see and
they know that Abraham is a man of God.
And this man of God aspect of Avam seems
to be this overwhelming charisma and
this overwhelming success. And therefore
they apparently want to be a part of
this success and they say that no you
are going to a prophet of God who is
with us. The Rashban takes it as
which means that they are precisely
responding back to that point where Aram
says that I am a stranger amongst you
and they're saying no you are and I'll
say it again the continuation of what
they say strengthens the Rashbam's point
because they're saying no to bury over
here
you don't have to buy you're one of us
you you are a part of our people so it's
interesting that a is saying I am not a
part of your people and I want to pay
and I want to pay cash and they're
saying that no you don't have to
there's actually two midrashim which say
the same thing and the two midrashim are
focused on two different places but one
will shed light on the other and help us
understand what's going on and they also
will take us to what I think is a much
larger point
and and really what it comes down to uh
even though Gil's not here this week so
I'll have to take care of the Zionist
propaganda by myself
and that is
one of the things that we know is that
the purchase of the Marah
is an acquis acquis acquisition that
Abraham makes in the land of Israel. On
the other hand, we all know that all of
the anti-sionists, which is very popular
today, will still call us colonialists
and it won't make a difference. There's
a purpose, there's a purchase, there's
not a purchase. But it's interesting
that Abraham is first invited. You're a
part of us. But there may be something
very cynical about that. So I the
cynicism you're going to have to wait
for a moment
but I would ask you to think about a
different point and that is what claims
does Aram actually have to the land of
Israel and the answer is that there's
three separate claims and maybe a fourth
the fourth is connected it's it's an
extension of one of them the mo the most
basic claim is going to be that God
promised to him so again that's also the
kind of thing that I don't think any
argument on Twitter has ever ended by
saying yeah but God promised it to us.
So somehow a whole bunch of people who
believe in the Bible don't believe in
the Bible when it comes to that
particular point. It's easy for
Christians because they're the real Jews
anyway. So therefore uh there and and
Rome is Jerusalem. So therefore like
what are we talking about, right? They
get to this uh level of identity theft
to a whole new cosmic level.
But the first thing is that God
promises. If you want to extend that
then you have a arriving and again the
although does not contain a statement of
land. It's once he you'll go to the land
I'll show you but it doesn't talk about
ownership of land. So once he gets to
the land then he's told about ownership
of the land because he listened to the
and then he's told to traverse the land
you know you'll go and you'll walk in
this land
and so on and so forth so I'll say the
the surveying of the land itself is an
indication of ownership also to walk up
and down the land to walk up and down
the streets to walk through the country
to walk through the fields all of that
is an indication of believing in the
divine promise
and actualizing
what God has promised by again
self-actualization by being here which
means if Aam wouldn't have come and A
would have stayed by you know behind and
then he could have told his
grandchildren no I mean God once
promised me some land but you never went
and you never walked in that land and
therefore your claims to that land
become limited but then there were okay
I'm going to skip the other one but we
have over here as well that Aram
purchases land but there's Something
else that I skipped. Let's take a look
at source number four. This is in the
midrasha. By the way, don't get fooled
when it says par Noak. It's not Noah.
It's parv.
Okay, that's just where it is. It's in
par,
right? Somebody who's strange, but he
lives there.
So, he's the
mar. So, like you you decide which one
it is.
which is interesting. This is in the
context of a looking for a place to bury
Sara and he's saying to them, "Oh, by
the way, I have divine rights. I
actually have ownership of this land."
So, we did not see that here, but it's
saying that that is like a somewhat
between the lines. There is another
element that at which point does that
ownership kick in? Which means God
promises, but when does that happen?
Meaning that's the other point that I
didn't say yet. And I could say, well,
it kicks in when Yitzk is born. I can
say it kicks in with Yitzk with Yitzk's
descendants. So, let's leave that for a
moment. But aam says in the midrash,
this is all my land. Although is this is
this a future's stake in this enterprise
or is it current?
became
so I'm just asking for one place right
now
and now we get to this you are again the
words in the itself the counter that
he's aviu
So that's interesting. He he is they're
saying you're a king, you're a leader,
you're a god because the line has always
been a very uh narrow line when it comes
to pagans.
He says the world is not lacking a king.
You know, he's saying calm yourselves
down
and the world is not lacking a god. So
again, a educating the masses and
educating people regarding monotheism
and they overestimate Aram's
capabilities. Again he says God promised
and he says and their response basically
is well know look at you look who you
are which is overstating what the
actually says
take the best of our places and they're
saying you know to bury a lot
now this teaching
actually
almost an identical midrash goes back to
an earlier episode and that was the
episode that we skipped and look at
source number five. This is the meda in
left
here is when we had the first world war
the four kings against the five kings
and as you recall somehow the Jews get
involved in all of this right because
that's the way that things work and lo
gets kidnapped and aim then comes
All of again the pagans, all the
adversaries came
and they chopped down trees
and they made a I don't want to
translate a a
a high No, no, it's not a it's not a
it's a platform.
So it's fascinating. It takes the phrase
that we find over here and it reads it
into Ara just after he was victorious
militarily. But what happened when Aan
was victorious militarily? Because I
don't want you to forget about this.
>> He captured all the land. He was the one
who won the war when there's the four
kings against the five kings. Which
means that not only does Abraham have
rights to this land because God promised
it and therefore when God walked when he
walks on the land, he also has rights to
this land because of a military
conquest. So once again, we know that
there are peoples of the world who don't
care what God say. They don't care about
military conquest. They don't care that
you walked into the land. They don't
care and it's actually much deeper than
that. They don't care, and again I'm
getting ahead of myself, that there's a
love affair with this land. They don't
even care that not only do we love the
land, but the land loves us. And
therefore, the land could have lied.
It's good every couple of years, every 3
years, every seven years, and so on. But
it lied for 2,000 years until the Jews
came back. It's the land comes back to
life because the land is in love with
the people of Israel as well, which as I
said, again, I'm getting ahead of myself
with this, but it's not just because God
promised it. And not just because that
we work the land or AA walks through the
land and therefore displays ownership
and not just because of a military
conquest. There's also the JNF, right?
Abraham's fund who bought the land as
well. But I'll say it again that all all
this falls on deaf ears. And again, go
back and look at the that first rashi,
right? The very first rash in the Kish.
What what does Rashi say that the
non-Jews of the world are going to come
and they're going to say? list that
you're robbers. And what does then Rashi
quote?
It doesn't say
doesn't say tell it to the BBC or the
New York Times or the Washington Post or
this or CNN. And the list of all of this
group goes on and on and on.
Naomi, by the way, is interviewed by all
of these people. I I asked her why. I
think she Time magazine interviewed her
last week and uh and if she does well
then they then they'll just ignore the
article because they'll realize they
were wrong more likely than not. They'll
either just not quote her or twist
something that was said. But none of
them none of them are going to accept
any of this as uh as significant at all
because people have narratives and the
narratives are what they want to keep
with. But as I said, these two midrashim
are fascinating because what are these
midrashim doing? They're saying yes, a
purchases of this land, but realize then
the linkage and it goes in both
directions because each midrash goes
back and forth. It's saying that over
here that you are this king among us,
but when did they first say that? They
first said that when the war was over.
What what are you called
when you defeat all the other kings?
What are you called then? And therefore,
they built for him a platform. And what
did they do at that moment? They
coronated him. And they coronated
Abraham as the king. And therefore,
they're saying, "You're a king among
us." But there's still something
missing. And what is missing is that
Abraham doesn't really have
a continuation. Yes, at this point he
has a son. He has one son who was sent
away. And there's another son, Yitzk,
but this Yitzk isn't married. This
doesn't have children. And therefore, if
Aram is powerful, and I I'll say
powerful in various ways. He's powerful
perhaps militarily, politically, but
he's also powerfully spiritually. And
I'm willing to even read all of these
commentaries together. And he lives
amongst you. You want to say you're one
of us. And you can also imagine another
thing that then follows. The day comes
that Abraham passes away. So then what
happens to Yitzk? So hopefully Yitz gets
married and who does he marry? Well, he
has very little choice who he marries.
He marries somebody local. So who's
somebody local? one of the Benot.
So what happens when he marries one of
the Benot? So then all of Araham's power
and possessions and so on ends up being
reabsorbed back into the local commerce
and therefore it is absolutely within
their interest politically and
financially to say aam you're one of us
because if a's one of us so by the way
do you want a parallel to this? The
parallel is what happens with what do
they say with
>> it's it's really the exact same claim
and that's what's taking place over here
where says no no we'll marry one another
and then we'll take all of their
possessions we'll marry and this is
easier this is much easier because there
aren't as many of them and we'll take
away all the possessions and therefore
sure you should be buried with us you
should be buried in our cemetery because
you're one of us and what does Afraim
say no I'm not one of you I'm a gtov I
am a stranger amongst you. I'm
different. I have a divine promise. So,
it's interesting. The midash read that
into it. I've captured all of this
legally, by the way. I'm the one who is
the rightful owner of this. Okay. So, we
have a couple things that have to take
place before that ownership is
actualized.
But again, what I'm pointing out over
here is these little subtle points of
language. You may have thought that what
they're saying is very is full of
reverence and they're saying no we
respect you Abraham they do but out of
fear and out of greed and Ara is saying
I'm not one of you I'm separate let me
buy my own separate grave I am not with
you I'm separate and if any of this
isn't clear it all is going to become
clear very very clear when you get to
the next chapter because the next
chapter is exactly this conversation
which takes place. Now I want to pause
for a moment and have an introduction to
today's
>> shar.
This reminds me it's like unbelievable
that if you live in your shy you're
entitled to the cloth
>> but if you want your wife with you you
got to pay another
exact same story.
>> Tell them I don't want her next to me.
Then they'll do anyone but her.
So, so let me now start our
introduction.
I would divide beret and really for the
purpose of this year I would divide
beret into three sections
pre aote
which means the whole beginning and and
Adam and Eve if you want and this
serpent and uh going all through the pre
flood generation the post flood
the tower au it's everything pre Araham
and by the way all that's to the med
says that everything's to Abraham is the
beginning of uh of of the world in a in
a certain sense we then get the what I
would call the avote and that then takes
us through from the beginning of Abraham
until most likely and you can argue
exactly where this happens easily it's
perlad beginning of which is really y
and the brothers you could have already
argued it happens a little bit earlier
maybe it happens by already maybe it
already happens when we get to maain but
it's right there between chapters 35 36
37 it begins but that becomes the the
third part of the book and that is the
children of Yakov and that takes you to
the end of the book Yakov is still there
but it's the story is about the children
so essentially what I just now did is I
divided bation into three parts one part
is pre-Araham the other and the other
part is the avot and the the last part
is the banim so
today's analysis is essentially trying
to identify, locate, understand
the key element of the middle part,
which means what is taking place within
this middle part? What are the moving
parts of this? And or what are the most
important elements of this? And and once
I I point it out, I think it'll become
very obvious and you'll you'll see it
staring at you and it's just going to
come up again and again, maybe even
again. But now, let's understand it.
When we move again, we saw those twin
midrashim. But when we move now to
source number six, which is the next
chapter, where we get to this again long
chapter, longest chapter, when we get to
this, aim is elderly and he's been
blessed in every single way. And he
turns to this unnamed
Evid who everybody knows is Eleazar,
just doesn't say it at any point. And it
goes out of its way not to say it.
You realize it would have been easier
just to say, but it avoids that
and swear by God. And what does it say?
So just in case you didn't realize it
taking place right before, he's saying
it right over here. I am I'm a gervos. I
live in their midst, but I'm absolutely
no to marry within the Canaanite people.
Absolutely not.
Who are the Canaanites? Well, who's Ben
is is is the son of Kanan. Who's Kanan?
Kanan. Kanan is the son of Kam. Kanan.
Actually, you go back again to those
parts that you don't pay attention to
enough. Kanan was cursed. Kanan when Kam
does whatever he does. Kanan is the one
that's cursed. Kanan is cursed. Right.
And go further now presumably his
children are so lives amongst them but
he goes I'm not I'm not I'm not with
you.
I want you to go there and take. Now the
key word the key word in both of these
sections is goes back to the root of
it's to take here. I mean you could look
how many times it's used.
Maybe she's not going to want to come.
Should I bring him back? Now just
remember something.
Initial prophecy most likely is bringing
back to some extent may undo and he has
no interest in doing that. No is going
to stay over here rather you go right
you go but is staying over here what if
she doesn't want to come
no my son's not going there
you notice that word being used again
God took me
Is referring to 100%.
God is the one who took me.
So Ara again is being really clear about
this. He has this promise. You know,
even though it only came out
madrashically in in parglim,
it's staring at us in the words itself
in paracalid. And I'll say it again,
Kafgimal and Kufalad are interrelated
because they're dealing with two sides
of the same problem. And that is that
Ara is promised this land. This land is
his land. Don't go back there because
that land was rejected and was brought
over here. And rather
needs a wife, but he cannot be a local
wife. And he goes over there
and you're going to go take a wife from
there. And again you notice the word
and so on.
It will continue various times over here
at the end when he repeats it. I
highlighted some of them
and so on and so forth,
right? and so on and so forth again I
don't know how many times and then he
gives a great deal of money and the
marriage takes place and so on and so
forth and we will stop here and instead
we will move on to source number seven
and we're going to be a little fancy
here first we're going to say the simple
things and then we're going to get fancy
the mission in the very beginning of
says
by the wayn is not terribly romantic and
the asks that and and he even says
in other places it says
is a little bit better than so what is
going on with
and it says
it says it's trying to stress that there
needs to be actually some type of a
acquisition by the way who's the
acquisition from it's from her which
means she accepts the ring she accepts
the kaducian so it's saying is that we
need to stress that this is somehow an
acquisition is taking place.
Don't worry. Again, I'm going to get
more romantic than an acquisition in a
moment.
And how in the world do we know that it
needs to be done by money?
Gamar, we learn gamar from the word
gamar. Gamar, we learn
literally means take take. This is a
heckish in two places. It says the same
word
because it used the word
on the one hand it says
that's the verse that has to do with
marriage. If you need to look at that,
it's in source number eight. That's
invar
but it says over there back in
many. So there the word kak is used and
that's cited.
No, I did not cite it there. Sorry. I
mean it was back in source number one.
So, first of all, let me state that this
is interesting. Secondly, let me state
that this is not necessarily as clear as
it could be. And matter of fact, at face
value, it's a little bit bizarre.
The Gmorrah again simple level is trying
to tell us, well, how do you know that
uses the word?
How do you know it's money? He goes, oh,
take a look at the acquisition of the
Marata.
So I'm going to say this parenthetically
and out loud. Sometimes the beginning of
just like at the end of
there is a piece of aata which is meant
as much to teach you an idea as much as
it's to teach you a law.
There may be an element of that as well
over here that there there's some
substance that needs to be understood.
What was the example that was chosen?
And and again, I I I suspect we could
have found other places in Tanakh where
it talks about making an acquisition of
something. What did it choose? It
chooses Abraham's first acquisition of
the land of Israel. That is not
that's
it is not something which is just
regular business. It's not simple real
estate. it is acquiring the land of
Israel which is something which is holy.
What I want to further say this is the
part that it gets a little fancier is
that I think that there may be this
cross-pollinization
whereby I could now take each one and
learn it from the other one. And I know
you didn't understand my sentence at all
but I'll explain to you what I mean by
that.
Again the simple point is now I know
that if I want to get married I need to
have some either money or something of
value. So again the custom today is to
use a ring and mud right it doesn't say
but then again I want to stress that
aim's acquisition the land of Israel is
one of something buying and or acquiring
something which is the his amote initel
is something which is holy. So in order
to understand all of this, I told you we
have to get a little bit more romantic.
So if you think about the Torah's
understanding of marriage, where do you
find that first expression of it? So
don't tell me
actually if you looked up that puk
itself, you'd be horrified. So I'm not
even telling to look at the puk. So now
you look, but if you looked at that pik
that they're actually learning marriage
from, it's uh it I I left it out. So you
don't know what that puk is. But where
do you find the Torah's first expression
of marriage? It goes back to the
beginning of Besid where it says in
source number nine.
And then the continuation which we don't
know who's saying it.
So this is an interesting verse cuz this
is much more romantic and it's much more
equality. I mean even in that first
verse when Adam says that that we are
one we come from from the same we're cut
from the same cloth. But the
continuation is and therefore see part
of the problem is I'll say it again.
Who's saying this? So if Adam is saying
it, it's interesting. I mean, Adam knows
about parents at this point. I mean, it
just interesting.
Maybe he does. I'm sure I've written
about this. Um,
in source number 10, Rashi writes,
now is two possibilities how to
understand Rashi. One is I think the
easier way that you would have assumed
is that God is saying this but although
that's not really satisfactory or
satisfying because the truth then said
that God said it right so this is like a
divine editorial this is the the editor
the narrator is saying this
and then he gives reasons for this but
also could have been that Adam says this
that that God puts these words in Adam's
mouth and Adam
that these words come out of Adam's
mouth, but he's not exactly even sure
how it is that he just now said that.
And I actually like that better as an
interpretation of what Rashi said,
although you'll tell me also. So should
have said it. The says,
so talk about the the narrator, the
later on, I didn't want to say the
editor and I want to say the redactor. I
want to say is that when God dictates
the Torah to Moshe that this is added in
by Moshe's again with instructions from
God as but he himself
but the reductant says the truth Adam
said this Adam understood Adam
understood and he said this
right now now you see what I said that
in Rashi before
so again I think that in retro respect.
That's the way the Radak understood the
Gabbor. I think that it's not so
difficult for us to make this claim as
well. Now, here's where I told you, I
keep telling you, we're going to get a
little fancier. Let's go back to
source 12.
What is told to do? He's told to leave
his parents' home, right? his
birthplace, his land, his parents' home
and go to the land which I'm which I'm
sending you to
now think a little bit more we derive
is acquiring the land of Israel marriage
is
marriage is
what exactly did Abraham do
to go to the land of Israel? What what
I'm
what I'm trying to point out is that we
have over here not just that we learn
one from the other is that there's two
interrelated issues taking place. You
have the holiness of marriage, but you
also have the holiness of Israel. And
therefore just like someone cuts off
their past and they leave their past and
now there's this new holy relationship
that is in essence what ad what Abraham
does when he embarks upon
this mission of now once you understand
this you'll understand that the key and
this now will be obvious the key moving
forward
of the avote and to be one of the avote
and to be connected to the avote or to
be disconnected to the avote becomes the
the the opposite the inverse it's going
to rely upon two things
one is going to be
where you're living
again leaving the alien living here even
though it could be at this moment we're
still strangers here and that becomes
this whole which is this holy living in
the land of Israel because that is what
this prophecy is all about the prophecy
and the blessing and the gift and on the
other hand it's marrying the right
people to be able to be then deserving
because in a certain sense if you marry
the wrong people and that's what I was
trying to describe before then you're
receiving this land in a certain sense
becomes unraveled
so if we now and I'm going to say this
again if we want to understand safer
beration it moving up this whole
center part of it we just now in a
certain sense have to uh read all of uh
look at the details
one is source 13 is going to be
important to us here as well as where we
have the war again which I referenced
before the four kings against the five
kings and lo was kidnapped as I already
said and here also Abraham is offered
money and again Aram says no Aram is not
going to be part of the division of the
spoils. A is very careful where his
money comes from and there is absolutely
a parallel between what happens over
here in Peryalid with what happens by
the burial itself and Aram remains
separate and Aram again he has acquired
all of Israel at this point and that's
something that we can't ignore but it
seems to be that if he receives this
money then that somehow takes away from
this conquest which we already add no
there's no other considerations over
here over here Aram has been promised
this he has walked this land and now he
has captured this land and very soon
he's going to purchase this land as well
and let's not confuse this at all just
like he doesn't want to receive the the
burial place without paying for it over
here he doesn't want to receive the
money and I believe that these issues
are uh are connected to one another
at the end of this week's para we have
another episode where Aram it happens to
be he has more AA lives you know a long
time after uh after Sarah passes away
right Sarah dies at 127 which means Aram
was 137 dies at 175 so you got a whole
bunch of years you can you can count you
know how many years there are and he he
gets married again which is just a
footnote and he has other kids which is
a footnote but what happened to those
kids and that becomes important source
is the one. He's the one who gets
things.
They get sent off to the east. So keep
that in mind because that that then
becomes a theme, but it's actually not
the first time and it's not going to be
the last time that this is going to be
mentioned. I mean, we could say the same
thing. I don't recall if I have the
source. The same thing happens with Lo.
Lo chooses also to go towards the east.
But we're going to find the same thing
repeated again. If you look at source
number 15, we have another relatively
lengthy negotiation cuz it didn't have
to be here. I mean, the whole story
didn't have to be here. This is of
course the story from next week's para,
which I think we're going to talk about
more next week. But Asov comes in from
the field
and Asov wants food and and Jacob then
negotiates and and again the negotiation
is what happened twice in this week's
para we essentially have this long
negotiation find the burial spot and we
have this long negotiation then in terms
of the wife
finding a wife and I'm suspicious here
because of this negotiation but
something happens at the end and that is
that he ends up selling the birthight
And of course the only question that we
have then have is what's included in the
sale and we're not told. I mean one
thing we know moving later on we know
that that Yoseph receives the birthight
and the double portion. It's a double
portion of the land of Israel. Has has
Asov just now relinquished his double
portion for that matter. Has just now
relinquished the extra portion or both
portions? Has just now relinquished
completely his rights to the land of
Israel. What is included? And I know you
can also claim that he that's included
to be a cohane. It's included which
means we're not told. We don't know
what's in the contract. We know
we know that he doesn't want this. But
hold on for a moment. In source number
what's important about the age of 40?
That's the age that got married. So on
the veneer
the superficial reading is who
is just like his father just like his
old dad
I'll again stress there's never any but
this his father gets married at 40 he
gets married at 40 over here it says but
who does he marry
alone
find this absolutely outrageous behavior
because what does do he goes 100%
against Araham's wishes I say Araham why
am I saying Aram's wishes because Aram
had told the eved don't let my son marry
somebody who's local don't let them
marry somebody who's and what does he do
and by the way on top of everything else
he marries two of them at once ons if
one isn't good enough let's do two I
mean go go go back to
write there's noto
when there's two it's really quite the
opposite you go back to Noah two by two
onto the boat
so which wife is he taking with him on
the boat well he's not taking either
because he's not getting on the boat I'm
just saying is that if you follow the
narrative you should realize that what
he does is outrageous even though The
veneer is excellent because he he's 40
years old as well. But there's something
about this action which actually
disqualifies Asov as of this moment to
possibly be one of the avot because when
it comes to the avote there's very
specific who they marry and who they
don't marry and we see who Aram does we
see who marries and as of over here just
now is going to be disqualified and
later on in source 17
Because if Jacob does the same thing,
that's the end of the then becomes
disqualified as well again specifically.
But I'm just saying follow the
narrative. It's the Ben when it comes to
the funeral. It is the in chapter 24 who
a says to the absolutely not. And then
it's Asov who goes that way. And then
it's Rifka who understands because she
she is the one who was chosen instead of
those girls. And she understands
completely that this is not someone who
Yakov can rather Jacob has to go back
and find his wife. And it's interesting
because when I said before that the Rif
was three years old, she then takes her
own.
She does the same thing. She leaves her
home. She lives, she leaves her
birthplace and she goes and she follows
off to this land that God has promised
which means she does the same thing and
YaKob is going to end up doing the same
thing as well. Again, there is this
stress not to undo it by letting Gitiza
go, but Yakov has no choice because he
has to go and find himself a wife in
source number 18.
And this is what I want you to
understand because this should have been
obvious.
do not marry a local girl which again
that goes back to Abraham. Now you
realize again as of one against this and
you realize that Yakov is being told to
follow the Abraham mission. So what is
going to be the next obvious thing it's
going to say? Well first of all so where
will you get find a wife?
Marry someone from shame not someone
from don't marry someone from don't
marry
so now you will which is actually the if
you're not convinced it's of read the
next line
which means this is the theme it's the
dual theme running from the moment that
Abraham comes he's been promised
promised the land. He's been promised
children. But there are conditions on
how you do this. And the conditions
that's what becomes clear in
you can't marry somebody local because
that goes against what Abraham has
understood. You have to marry somebody
who is back from the family of shame and
not somebody from the family of uh of
Kam. So this this issue then becomes
when as marries the wrong person, he's
disqualified himself. By the way, if you
continue in source 19,
he leaves. Now, you could say this is
good. You can say it's bad. And we're
not sure how to read it.
Echoes of of lot having moved away.
and where does he go? He goes off to the
east as well,
maybe slightly south
in the midash quoted in source 20.
He leaves
because he wrote a contract.
which means that was the contract that
was the sale that was getting rid of the
he made a sale he relinquished rights
the land of Israel. So therefore the two
elements which are what Aram has what he
gives to
are the two elements which Asov actually
rejects and he leaves because he sold it
to Yakov. He leaves it because he's not
really interested in the land of Kanan.
Think of the irony of this because he
does actually the opposite. He marries
the local girls and then takes them
away,
right? The two things he's not supposed
to do is what Asov actually does. So, as
I said, I'll say it again. That is
what's interesting. Yeah. So, I in
source 21, I do have the source about uh
load. So, you see it again that I'm
going in that direction.
On the other hand, when I talked about
again this dual relationship and again
think of the main thing that I said I
said that once you learn Ephron then it
goes in both directions. Marriage is
something which is sanctified. Buying
purchasing the land of Israel is
something which is sanctified. Marriage
is something which leave your parents
house and then cling to your wife was
leave your parents house now cling to
the land. And therefore there is this
love affair with the land. So that's
what I want to continue moving forward.
First of all, is somebody who actually
works the land
and his children, we're going to see
that they're shepherds. But is somebody
who works the land in source number 22,
he works the land and God responds and
God blesses and whatever it is that he
does, bottom line, it works.
But again, this land is a land which is
holy. It's a land what where there
sorry is somebody who does some of those
mitzvah and he separates
as well. So is living in a certain sense
in the future he's right in order to be
a farmer you need to actually own land.
So it's interesting howitzka goes a
little bit further. There's a wonderful
couple of verses in
right I hope you like these verses
you know it's time let us come back
because your servants we love the the
stones of Israel and we love the the
sand as well this verse is quoted both
in the
Shi, which describes the love affair
which the Jewish people have had with
the land of Israel. If you're not
familiar with source 24, it's the end of
meot. We can read it in English because
it's it's a little bit easier.
When Rabbi Zera ascended the land of
Israel, he didn't find a ferry to cross.
So, he grasped a rope and like he swung
across the the channel, you know, or the
Jordan to get in a certain sadducey
saduk. He said you impulsive people who
put before right who there you said
nashma and that's what he's doing as
well you still persist in your
impetuousness he said a place that Mosha
Aaron did not merit who says I will
merit it which means we don't take this
for granted abba would kiss the stones
of a kina would repair its roads ami
norvasi would move from the sun to shade
from shade to sun again going across the
land barami would roll himself in its
dust as and stated for your servants
take pleasure in her stones and
cherishing her dust. So again, this is
the gar the end of tuvote which actually
speaks about the obligation of living in
the land of Israel. And I know some
people are under the impression it's
very funny that the raom doesn't count
living in Israel as one of the 613
mitzvot but uh I'll just say that I I
think that one can he doesn't count it.
It's not one of the mitzvot. It's the
raub doesn't count macro mitzvot. He
only counts micro mitzvot. The us in 25
has similar types of verses and it it
tells the same story you again
would kiss the rocks of Ako and says up
to here is the land of Isra
would roll in the alleyways of Tiberia
would carry stones would carry clouds of
earth to fill what is said for your
servants take her stones and cherish her
dust the raam you can decide if he
thinks it's mitzvah to live here writes
One is not allowed to leave the lands of
Israel. By the way, it's not immunity to
live here. Then why can't you leave
only extraordinary reasons and then come
back to the land?
You're allowed to go leave to do
business.
You're not leave.
Your life is in danger.
The prices go down so much room of a
paper. Again,
you have no money. So then you can go
even if you're allowed to go, it's not
necessarily pious behavior.
[Music]
And nonetheless, their lives were
forfeited because they left the land of
Israel. So, by the way,
and and I'll say it again. And and the
Rambam to say that to say that it's not
a mitzvah is interesting.
And now he he rings those we just
quoted.
So, we'll see like this idea of this
love affair with the land of Israel.
Yeah, I'm going to leave the rest of
this. And whoever is buried here, all
their sins are forgiven and so on and so
forth. And I'm going to pause here and
just go back a second.
I I think what we're saying is this dual
relationship that we learn marriage from
acquisition, not any acquisition from
the mah from acquisition, land of
Israel. And we learn about land of
Israel from marriage. Both of these
things are involved in kadusha. Both of
these things are called kadushin. And
therefore maybe the main thing which I
pointed out is that marriage is not just
a question of commerce. It goes back to
that beautiful verse found in berimo.
That that's the key word.
There is this emotional connection
between the two and that's in a sense
right that's in a sense what happens
when Abraham is told and you go to this
land and you're going to walk on this
land it's this which this land which is
being described and I'm saying and
therefore is there is this love affair
which is being described and therefore
somebody who understands this will have
to marry in a way and this is the whole
center story this goes to a yakov This
is the this is the reason why the those
who are not connected get disconnected.
This is why load ends up walking off you
know east. This is why as ends up
walking off east. And this is why we're
able to identify exactly
why a why
remain the avote. It all is because of
this d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d
d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d
d d d is one is the land of Israel. Now
just remember one more thing about
Yitzk. Yetsk's entire spiritual essence
is connected to the land. Where does
where does Yitzk has have his religious
experience? Where does he pray? Where
does he feel God? Where does he feel
connected? It's and the that's not an
accident. Which means again this love
affair with the land of Israel is
something which the one of of the avot
who never leaves the land. So he's the
one who feels this connection to it. But
I'm going to point it out again. If we
were sensitive, and I hope we were
today, we see with Abraham's words to
the we should have been able to discern
it. And if we couldn't get it then, then
then we should have understood it
already when Abraham speaks to his and
therefore this is something which
stressing.
was Abraham leaving
he was in the land of Israel and that is
what's being expressed by the rabbis and
the Talmud and by the Rambam and so on
that the land of Israel is this place
that is part of a love affair because
when God made the shak of Ara and Sarah
when God made the shak of Yeitz and
Rifka God also God makes lots of shidim
and one of the shidim that God makes one
of the matches he makes is between the
Jewish people and the land of Israel
That's a sh that's and therefore a made
a kenyan right
there are you know there's different
parts of the canyon you have the that's
okay let me introduce you to this girl
that's now you have to go and uh and
what happens then is you have the
engagement and then you actually get
there and then you have the kenyan which
is taking place and aim does the various
kinyan over here there's one kenyan
which is done by virtue of going to war
which is extremely physical and Then you
have you'll decide what that's connected
to and then you have on the other hand
this kenyan which takes place with the
money and ava makes multiple kinyanim
over here but by the way that's what
happens by the wedding as well is that
there's also m there's under the kar and
there's actually the ring and there's
also putting the veil on top which at
least according to some of the rishim is
considered to be a canyon as well and
what we see now see is I'll go back to
before it's the cross palization of the
idea of the
it's not just that we learn act
Specifically here we learn but not only
we learn each one then goes back and
teaches about the other one and now we
realize that what Aram did by purchasing
this land not getting it as present not
accepting that he is the king of them
he's not their king Aram is somebody who
will be king but it's all in the future
and the kingship of Abraham is only
going to be manifest much much later on
perhaps through schol through David and
so on but that's where the kingdom is
manifest that's when the Jewish people
as a nation are going to given the land
but all of that's promised all the way
back in those who live and understand
this promise are the ones who stay those
who are willing to inter to marry within
the local population who are still were
strangers in their midst they're the
ones who frustrate this as becomes the
worst out of all of them now you realize
because he marries someone local and
then he leaves anyway others you know do
other you know do other elements of this
and now you think oh yes he married
someone from that's somebody from so now
you realize that he's not really a
candidate and we can keep on going down
this line all that I try to show you is
this is what's going on in the whole
center part of say liberation. This is
the issue which is taking place. And
once you understand this, you understand
why the avote continue in this
particular line getting ready then for
the next stage which will be the banim.