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CHAZAQ's Torah Talks #161 Rabbi Issamar Ginzberg - Torah Psychology
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
downstairs from my house there's a store
called Kanan that's a chain of store
that says like office supplies and stuff
like that in the front glass counter
there's a sign in there that says this
thing from that if you if you're happy
you say thank you hasm you're so good to
me ha you think that's you think that's
the best I can do let me show you gives
the person that much
better much more so
when I should have said the story the
other way around start with a negative
meaning to say someone says hm I can't
take anymore hem could say you think
this is the worst that could be my when
it comes to good you think this is the
best I can do I can do way better can
always make it better there's no limit
to how much better things can get always
always things can get better and better
and
[Music]
better and welcome to Torah talks
kazak's Tuesday night program with
special guests we have with us all the
from from
Israel welcome thank you for having me
what an honor what a what a merit so
good to see you the
energy so we're going to be speaking
about psychology this is what the energy
is like now imagine what it's like when
I'm not jet like oh wow oh W okay we're
going to have to feel
that uh so we're going to be speaking
about psychology but before we get to
the topic a little bit background about
yourself and the great work you're
involved with
Rabbi and yish is an expression let me
teach your some
the EMS is the best El which means that
the best lie you can tell is to tell the
truth why because when somebody says an
untruth they have to always remember
what they said they shouldn't say
something else that ends up
contradicting what they said the first
time but when someone says the truth
they never have to worry they're going
contradict themselves because there's
only one truth and so I don't really
know meaning I didn't really plan to get
to the place that I got to do what I do
it kind of sort of happened in hindsight
obviously 2020 you look back say sure it
just happened but
really my background went from I always
knew as a as a kid I always had this um
my both my grandparents all the way up
come from major cidic dynasties we
discussed
earlier one of them is the famous and
wellknown
himself was a great grandson
of
and so I always knew that I wanted to
let's say when they have sh of my own it
was something I had a I had a drive to
have but how I ended up in the position
that I am in which I am a speaker a
consultant for Jewish audiences for
non-jewish audiences I remember once
giving a speech in midoan Virginia uh
having a big like one of these big gulp
things from 7-Eleven in my hand to make
sure I don't have any problems with
people you know giving me a hand certain
people and um so I I don't really know
how I got here meaning to say it wasn't
planned that
way but what I do is I speak and I
consult and I
write for major companies for
entrepreneurs for
nonprofits and bar I've been very
blessed to be successful at what I do
and have a lot of people who listen to
me I get weekly weekly podcast in
Yiddish mostly I write forent I've
written for Entrepreneur magazine for
many other famous magazine I've been
interviewed in hundreds of prestigious
Publications in the world including for
example the New York Times and uh whole
alphabet soup I used to list them but
it's been years already so I don't do
that
anymore so welcome to Torah talks me
your is amazing work is
amazing we want to do more never
satisfied so this is a Torah talk and
question I heard before I heard before
one of your staff members saying a typo
he was saying about how many kids he's
been to help move into
and by mistake he added a zero and he
like we'll get there we'll get you know
130,000 we'll get there we'll
get should to be able to save
more entire world that's right so so far
time of this recording over
1700 Souls that have been transferred
but many
more with God's help so so psychology
what is the connection to Torah is there
anything that we could uh bring the two
together okay it's a big question yeah
um we'll only be able to scratch the
surface of it I could always come back
for a second third and fourth uh
talk even though it's true
obviously that when that there is wisdom
and there is a lot to be learned in many
different fields at the end of the
day everything is in the Torah there is
just like in legal in law you have case
law
whenever something is given in the
there's a certain amount of case law
that you can say okay it comes from the
Torah and this is what we have in the
Torah and this is how we can extrapolate
from that into I'm talking about major
medical questions I'm talking about all
kinds of
things psychology everything else
business zoning it's all in the
tah I'll start with an example I don't
want to get too deep on technical but if
anyone wants to take the extra time to
actually look this up in the in theim in
the verses in the Torah it's inas
you have AR ainu andu his wife she
passes away right and now he has a
problem what's his problem to bury her
he has to bury her but he's not planning
to stay
here so what happens if buries his wife
and then goes away and then a week later
the town decides to build a moall on top
of where she's buried he doesn't want to
bury her in that
case so it's always been across the
generations throughout the generations
unfortunately l in 1930s to 1940s in
Germany and since then it hasn't been so
respected but over the course of many
many many cultures and all the
generations a cemetery was always
considered something that you don't Cher
you don't touch a
cemetery you let the people rest in
peace cover it's actually interesting
that in uh Belgium I'm not sure what the
exact rules are I think 50 years after
50 years they basically like Po field
style oh wow they just dig it up which
is why all the belg
the Jewish community of Belgium's
cemeter is actually just over the Border
in put in Holland because it shouldn't
be subject to this problem wow but if
you look at the and you look at and he's
looking to bury his wife in the mar
which is actually where and are
[Music]
buried so he comes and he's he can get
it as a present from ephr he wants to
pay for it he wants to pay full price if
you look it back and forth a little bit
you see something very interesting is
having this conversation not just with
ephr he's having the conversation in
front of the entire Community entire
Ben and if you actually look at the
translation of the words you'll see and
he bows to Ben and he speaks to EF then
he speaks to then he speaks to EF and it
when you just read it you don't really
notice the Nuance but once someone shows
it to you like if you look at it now
after you listen to this
conversation you realize and this is a
Brisk if I'm not mistaken that he wants
to make sure that he doesn't bury her in
a field and then the next week they go
build a parking lot or a building or a
mall a shopping center on that field so
so he's actually negotiating with the B
with the towns people to have this land
zoned as a cemetery and he's saying
clearly I want to bury my wife here in
order to get their approval and only
when once he gets their approval then he
pays the money to Ephron because
otherwise he has no point in using the
because he's not going to bury her and
then leave and there'll be nothing left
so all those real estate people out
there we got zoning zoning in the in the
very
beginning um another thing
who is the first disabled person in the
world that we know
of so everyone
knows maybe that's that's too wide of a
say everyone knows but it's well known
that in the tah you have for example you
have um
benun who um
he he was famously he was uh chopped
isa's head right he chopped so he wasn't
letting the Levi happen right
he was he was death he was dumb meaning
to say he couldn't hear I'm not sure I
get
but um but before you get to the it's
actually somebody who was born whose
name was no and when was born it
says he will save us from the uh forgive
me for freely translating or
mistranslating from the hard work from
the from the uh from the
he he will save us essentially from the
hardship of that we have with our
hands he in invented essentially the
plow till then they just used their
hands to dig how did invent the plow
what was he he you know he went to the
patent office and went to the plow the
medish says that when no was born his
fingers looked like these like our
fingers until then the people that were
born the M says had webs fingers I
believe it's a medish wept fingers
meaning more like let's call it like a
duck's feet would look like a mitten as
opposed to like a glove which has
separate holes for each finger it's more
like a mitten and
therefore when was born everyone was
like a disabled child has such disformed
misformed finger fingers then today if
someone is born with fingers like people
had before we look at them and say help
them hopefully they can go for surgery
and have their fingers detached from
each other so they can have a a better
life but when he was born and they saw
his fingers they were like aha if we
could take something like that take a
piece of wood and make a bunch of big
fingers we can plow if we can plow we
can plant instead of one one little bit
at a time using our hands we could plow
that much more and actually business
started if you want to get back to
another another example business started
really it makes ner the first
entrepreneur because business started
when you could not just feed your family
you had extra so if I had just enough
wheat to feed my family I can't trade or
sell to anybody else but if I can have
an acre or two acres three acres a week
more than I need I can then trade some
of that with my neighbor and you know
what you give me wheat I'll give you
barley you give me wheat I'll give you
apples and oranges and essentially able
to start trading because you have the
ability to produce more and then use
that in Commerce amazing amazing putting
it all together very very very very
interesting do you have any other
examples within the Torah of psychology
well you have begging hasem to save the
city of s and I mean we're talking about
Ru I'm just talking about it on this
basic level I'm not in any way
projecting onto rinu but it's it's it's
salesmanship it's copyrighting and if
there's 50 people would you save the
city and if there's 45 people there's 40
people there negotiation negotiation
negotiation and and the numbers from 50
to 45 to 40 to 30
20 to 10
yeah
and um that's one example the example
when yes is talk to his brothers when
the brothers come down to M and and
they're each coming through a different
entrance of MIT to try to case the joint
without being noticed and another shot
reason for them going to different
entrances was because there was a m is
saying that they were looking for ysep
because they know they sold him to Egypt
that's true yeah you listen with with at
least in y's um when he came to the
brothers to uh to say you're
spies so he's coming and he's
saying you came from different Gates and
that suddenly he's using as back of
proof that that they are spies right
even though they were essentially did it
for an innocent reason but he's coming
and using that against them right there
is full of it you
[Music]
have you have the why do the people from
the why were they with because they were
nearby would the neck shave it over in
the in the way the were lined up and
therefore they got caught up in even
though they didn't really have anything
to gain because they're not going to be
what's it to them they had their own
pain they had the pain that the they
were the old Ru is the older shavit and
they they had that pain but they didn't
actually have anything to gain from K
taking over from they just had their own
pain and K was psychologically tapping
into
their um their hurt and using it for his
own for his own benefit the fact that
they were ruen was transfered to ysph so
they felt like they were the before the
the the first born yes but that reminds
me of another example which is
when when Ru is
Born the
says that his mother Le called his name
Ru she
said because s my
pain Rashi on that POS
says I'm sorry I can't say it in the
proper pration
that um my brother-in-law as tried to
kill yob for taking away the for taking
away the first the right of the first
born and my son Ru not only did he give
did ysf take away his being the first
born but he actually saved him from
tried to save him from the brothers from
from from being from being killed
essentially he put him in the pit to
save him from being killed and he would
have taken him out of the pit right
except when he came back he wasn't there
anymore cuz he got sold and so the
question is wait Le says the PK says the
Torah is saying that the reason why his
name is Ru
is my pain and rash is coming with a
totally different saying rash is saying
it's
because look at the difference between
my brother-in-law as to yob my husband
and look at the difference between my
son ruen and his brother YF how
differently they act with each other so
the T has a specific reason why his name
is ruen which
is cuz hasm saw my pain
and rash says a totally different which
it's not even it's not even similar it's
because of andu nothing to do with
as now was that too complicated to
explain before I answer the question
I'll leave you hanging for a
minute in you have something very
similar the PUK saids that the the back
also the idea of spies morum here they
went to spy Egypt here they went to spy
here they went to spy at um at Canan the
land of Israel
and
they they come to spite the land of
Israel and they come and they everybody
it really bothers me by the way maybe
some someone who's listening to this is
watching this can help me with this the
actual symbol of the Israeli Ministry of
Tourism is two of the morum holding a
bunch of grapes now the ministry of
Tourism is supposed to be promoting
tourism bringing the grapes didn't
exactly work out very well for call I'm
not sure it's the right logo it's kind
of a mismatch talking about marketing
it's not such a great marketing uh icon
to have the morum who didn't say the
best things about because K and yes did
not bring back
fruit but in any case so they come to
and they say they come back and they say
oh we were like grasshoppers
right many return that the kar has a ver
on that that what do you mean what you
why you saying
why you look why you why don't you have
any self-confidence why you saying that
you were like a a grasshopper in your
eyes if you say they thought of you as a
grasshopper maybe maybe not that's you
but why would you the way they perceive
themselves is the way others perceive
them as well exactly even less whatever
person perceives themselves the other
person usually perceives them even lower
so you're it's exactly what you're
saying I'm just saying it it goes even
more so
okay so and Rashi
says means grasshoppers Nal means ants a
little creepy CW ants so why would Rashi
say shot that's totally different than
the p a grasshopper is not an ant an ant
is not a grasshopper and if it was if it
was the same thing then why would rash
have to come explain it at all Rashi
could just let it go and not mention
anything so I heard a beautiful ver I
think I saw from hutner I'm not
sure
that how does a grasshopper eat he lands
on your choke CH cookie takes a bite
makes himself a little meal and flies
away how does an ant eat it comes takes
a crumb even if the crumb weighs five or
10 times its weight puts it on its back
goes back to its uh ant Motel not the
poisonous one hopefully and uh and there
it has its meal
so when the says that when the Giants
and saw the Canan saw that there were
these little cruy creepy things which
were the
mum so they thought oh it's must be
grasshoppers but then they saw them
carrying home fruit
so they so rash says because can't be
grasshoppers because the Grasshoppers
wouldn't be carrying it home when they
saw these little tiny things carrying
home grapes carrying home the other
fruits of that they took then that's why
Rashi says it because it's so now back
to Leia Leia was Leu was a big she was a
she was a prophet a
prophetess I know how to spell a lot of
words in English but had to pronounce
them sometimes I get it wrong
okay
so if if so the real reason that Ru was
named Ru was because of
rash look what the difference is between
my son and
my my son essentially my brother-in-law
as the problem is is that if Le would
say oh the reason I named him ruen is
because my son gave up something to Ra's
son and ra has no children ra ra is a
for many years ra has no
children R would essentially know that
one day she's going to have children and
hasm didn't give Le permission to tell
her to because is supposed to D supposed
to do what she has to do in order to be
to be blessed bym to have the of
Y so Leia could not say the real reason
why she's naming her son ruen so even
the rash's is ultimately correct that
can't be the I think this
from I
think so therefore she has to give a
different reason to cover up the real
reason and that's why if you look at the
words the it says
I gave that name is not it doesn't say I
gave him the name Ru because saw my pain
I I gave it says I gave him the name
ruin because she said so my P so she's
saying essentially the t is telling us
clearly that the reason why she's saying
it is that's she said the reason was but
it wasn't the real reason that's why
rash is coming explaining the real new
one the real reason behind it this the
ter is full of it the ter is endless and
deep amazing beautiful examples 100%
true now the question for Ginsburg is as
follows how does on watching or
listening to this take this you know you
brought all these exam from the holy
Torah to life itself how do you take
psychology or or tips of of making it
practical First of
all
[Music]
is widen your mouth open your mouth wide
and I will fill it up with everything
good the actual of is wide in your mouth
that when a person smiles and a person
takes things with a good attitude with
happiness it's always going to be good
at the end if it's not if it's not good
it's not the end yet that helps a person
now what does that to do with your
question it's actually proven in
Psychology it's proven that when a
person smiles when a person is in a good
mood they have they do better just like
when a person um this is an interesting
sales tip I don't know if I should do
camera kind of hurt I guess some people
get some extra benefit out of it before
you make a sales call there's a there's
an expression smile while you dial oh
wow I never heard of this smile because
that way when the person answers the
phone they hear the in your voice and it
makes them more likely to actually be
more listen to what you say about
sitting instead of standing if you're if
you're calling someone and you're laying
and your lazy boy or you're laying in
bed or on the couch it's not the same as
when you're standing and you're excited
standing is better standing is better
maybe next time we should have a
standing but essentially one of the tips
that they give salese is when you're
making a phone call this is is this a is
aak pen that's right it's a brand new
pen so don't
worry while they make the phone call
while they dial they keep the pen in
their mouth because when you keep a pen
in your mouth you're forcing yourself to
smile wow which releases the endorphins
which means that when you take the pen
out of your mouth you're going to be
that much more excited and have that
much more conversation which will which
will come through it's not just
[Music]
but it's not just as a Mitzvah it
actually helps in Practical terms
everyone you talk to everyone you
interact with when you do it
in when you say things in a good way in
a friendly way when you're thankful for
what comes your way just another example
from the Torah is the Jews are in
supposed to be for give would take 400
years comes wants to get him out and Par
says no now you're going to have to work
even harder you're going to have to go
collect your own straw to make your own
cement and they say o we thought is
coming to help us and now we're even in
worse in a worse pickle have a
question if you have to
have 10 I some Terrible Things everyone
should have only only good things good
things happen to them but if a person
had a choice that they have to go
through something ter by the way it says
that when a person has a bad dream and
they wake up in the morning they wake up
midle night and there's that horrible
dream it says in Sp that that dream is a
wonderful thing for them why because
since while they were dreaming it really
happened until they woke up they
actually thought that they you know get
hit by a car whatever the whatever the
dream was therefore if it was B to get
hit by a car if they were supposed to
have something terrible happen to them
it could be with a
dream and and
also there's a word in yish I don't know
if you use this in in your
community sure of course okay so a joke
that the word NE even though the the
letters are actually the letters of
the why because when a person hears that
some other person went through pain went
through hardship and they say what
they're really doing is they're feeling
for the other person that's what NE
means like oh I feel so bad for the
person I'm empathizing have sympathy
have empathy for the person that had
that thing and when a person is supposed
to have something happen to them and
they they can be it by by taking care of
basically when a person is supposed to
have something bad happen to them they
can take care of it they can essentially
P it they can they can wipe it away by
taking care of hm's children by taking
someone else with that problem same
thing with a dream since in the dream it
seemed real they can get away with
something that could have meant to
happen to them when they weren't
dreaming so back to the back to what I
was saying about about if a person is
meant to have a bunch of bad things
happen to let's say they're supposed to
have 10 uh I'm making this up I'm just
saying but let's say 10 surgeries
would they rather have a surgery and
then go through the recuperation process
and heal and go back to work and then
six months
later
back even though it would be painful and
it would be hard most people would
prefer put me not me all all
all's enemies and all those countries
where they are on them not on us but
wouldn't a person rather say listen
put me that put me under the knife do
what you got to do famous famous uh my
great-grandmother was the K Ritson she
had knee surgery when she was uh she had
knee replacement I think she was 80 at
the time oh wow and then she asked how
long does it last and they said 5 years
she's like okay then when she was 90 10
years later her knees hurt again she KN
she said how long does it last for Last
5 Years I'm not doing it they said 10
years she like okay do it again with
this time she said do both at once to go
through a knee surgery and then get
better and then do the other knee no no
no no no do both knees let's get it over
with a few months anyway you know and
then let let's have it done so what
happened was M came to M and it got
worse for them but they shaved off 190
if it's two 190 years because of the
because they had harder work they were
able to shave up the amount of timeing
that was even a bigger than it seems it
wasn't just they shortened the uh you
you know go to this prison for X number
of years or Worse prison for less number
of years it's actually much more than
that since theen left M the very last
minute before they would have fallen
into NE the lowest level of T from which
There Is No Escape because they would
have fallen into the N the 50th
uh step down the ladder NE into into not
not a good place Hashem snatched them
out the last second had they not had
that thing when M came and made it
harder they would have not been able to
leave after 210 years because the PK
said they supposed to be there for 400
years
and we wouldn't be here today having
this wonderful conversation having being
able to do the amazing work they're
doing 100 whatever does for us is
good everything's for the best and that
is the ultimate piece of psychology that
a person should be equipped with to go
through life sailing
smooth positive thinking
100% always being happy I heard a line
from your great great grandfather smile
for no reason will give you a reason for
this smile yes down from my house
there's a store called Kanan that's a
chain of store that says like office
supplies and stuff like that and in the
front glass counter there's a basically
the ra just said there's there's a sign
in there that says and this is
essentially
why that's why it says that
the on that day of because you're crying
over nothing I'm
sorry I'll give you reason to cry
foration to cry about so it says in the
window this thing from that if you if
you have happy you say thank you hasm
you're so good to me Hashem says I mean
I'm not I'm saying it in in the human
form ha you think that's you think
that's the best I can do let me show you
and gives a person that much
better much more so when it's POS I
should have said the story the other way
around start with a negative meaning to
say someone says hm I can't take anymore
hm could say you think this is the worst
that could be my mouth when it comes to
good you think this is the best I can do
I can do way better can always make it
better my grandmother
say means I'm
weak you give to and
um to make things better there's no
limit to how much better things can get
always always things can get better and
better and betteri 100% amazing RAB
Tamar Ginsburg loved every single word
over here we have a me a final message
for kak Tor talks I'll take my final
message to say a story from the Ben of
course not because I'm trying to say
something FY cuz I'm here because I'm
very I feel very connected to I think
you said it's your favorite sa yes I
think so and I have's picture my mother
bought me a picture in my house I have a
big painting of wow um I mean I can't
say I know the for
because actually have a manuscript from
him and wow but story great business
story great story to
say tonight maybe I'll have to speak at
if I do I'll say the story but that'll
be after this goes live so won't be able
to hear this once upon a time there was
a
gentleman and this gentleman had a lot
of
money and he was getting older and he
really wanted to put away money for his
retirement as he would sleep every night
he realized he was having back pain not
because he was getting older because
under his mattress he had stacks of
bills and as he was getting older and
making money and stacking it and
stacking it his match was getting less
and less comfortable MH so he decided
he's going to take all this money
inflation is a problem and he was going
to invest it in something so he did lots
of research he decided to invest the
money and buy a very very famous
painting from one of the one of the
greats I don't know if it was a Picasso
or it was a Monet or or or a
Michelangelo I don't know I'm not so
familiar with all the names of different
artists but he going to buy a
painting
um and Sh he goes he does his research
and he goes and he buys some very very
expensive painting Museum
quality maybe it wasn't the Mona Lisa
but and he takes the painting and he
hangs it when you come into his house he
had this very nice house with a nice
spiral staircase the Ben doesn't mention
the spiral staircase you out of that and
right when you walk in the big foyer he
hangs this beautiful expensive painting
now his bed is flat and he can sleep
schach and he has this big painting
right when you come in the front door
you can see it from as you open the
front door he has this big painting and
every time he passes this painting he
thinks to
himself when I finally retire and I get
old I'm going to be able to retire I'm
going to sell the painting I have my
it's going up in value year after year
he keeps looking at the SBE auction
booklets to see how his painting is
going up in value constantly no offense
to any other auction hous um
and time passes another year another
year SE one day a guy comes to his house
to visit him and says oh wow that is
such a great replica of that famous
painting oh he say replica this is the
painting the guy says Nah see on the
upper left side there's a black dot
there like a black splotch it's a
replica it's a good replica but it's not
the real thing now just by the way in
China people don't know this many people
don't know this that there's different
cities that do different things so it's
not like you go in in Manhattan the
Garment district is garment and then you
have the next District jewelry district
right it's not like that there's actual
cities the cities that make sinks and
the cities that make paintings so they
have cities there's people I've ordered
paintings from China I send them a
picture and I give it as gifts and I
have it hanging in my house very very
amazing paintings copied from pictures
of you
know so but anyway guy says this must be
made in that town in China no I'm
kidding doesn't say that but
it's a very good replica but it's not
the real thing and that's the proof the
little black Splash in the corner and
this suddenly goes into a major
depression he spent his entire he
thought he could sleep well CU his b
mattress was flat now he finds that he
can't sleep at all because his entire
life savings is lost and his kids see
that ABA is getting very very depressed
and they're thinking what can we do to
cheer up ABA so one of them remembers
that ABA really likes
mustard that's thing maybe because it
says that when the came to he served
them tongue with with mustard I don't
know why maybe spiritual reason to it
but in any case they knew that their
father ABA likes mustard so they went
and they found every single brand of
kosher mustard I'm not sure blue p is a
kosher mustard or not but they went for
all the mustard the famous mustard they
brought him a little bit of every
mustard to try they figured that'll
cheer him up he gave a little smile it
didn't cheer him up so they did was they
had a little plane a little sea plane
fly over his house with a with one of
these banners hanging behind it it says
we love you ABA and they made sure he
was outside on the back porch in the
backyard when it flew over and he sort
of gave a little smile but it didn't
really work I said okay what can we do
you know what we have a way to make him
happy so they got the Barnum and Bailey
Circus to come to his backyard and they
had monkeys on motorcycles going upside
down and they had elephants
standing on two feet and they had rings
of fire with lions jumping through them
forgive me if I got the what actually
happens in Bar B
wrong and the father gives a little
smile he says them thank you but doesn't
work maybe they tried medication Ben
doesn't say that but in any case he
stayed depressed he stayed glum he
stayed unhappy maybe he should have been
happy anyway but that's what happened to
him one day there's a knock on the door
he opens the door and this say I'm men
the flesh there's an alcoholic at the
door M somebody who's far far from
Alcoholics
Anonymous his stench his breath and the
stench of the individual himself was
very very very unpleasant to the extent
when he opened the door and his nose got
the scent the whiff of this person he
just backed away from the door CU he
couldn't take the
smell and as he backs away from the door
this alcoholic
looks into the house and gasps and says
that's the famous pain thing guy pull $1
out of his pocket says listen he has 10
bucks go go it's not the famous painting
he's maybe the guy's going to rob him
not the famous painting it's a replica
if you look in the left side in the
corner you see the black spot it's not
the real painting the guy says wait wait
wait the guy's like putting his foot in
the door the guy shouldn't be able to
close door wait I got to tell you
something wait what is it I used to be
the curator of the major Art Museum and
then he fell into hard times he fell in
that's the original origin you see that
black splot in the corner that's what
the artist put on the original painting
so that whoever copies his painting is
going to not put the black splotch
because they're going to assume the
black splotch is not supposed to be
there and that's actually the Simmon
that this is the original painting and
it's not a replica wow and the guy he's
happy he's Jolly snaps out as if the
last 10 years of depression never
happened no medication or nothing and
his kids come and say Aba we don't
understand we got you every kind of
mustard we brought the circus to your
house we had a plane flying over saying
ABA we love you nothing helped we tried
everything some drunk managed to make
you
happy so the father tells his kids you
don't understand you tried to make me
happy here that guy might be a drunk but
he made me happy here he took away the
actual thing that was bothering me and
that's why I'm happy now the Ben uses
this story to explain that when a person
goes to a wedding everyone's dancing
everyone's singing there's one person at
the wedding that that's not as happy as
everybody else which sounds a little
weird but let's think about it for a
second when an Orthodox Jewish couple
marries the husband gives the wife
a I didn't know you have vases by by you
guys okay um and it says that the
husband promises is essentially it's a
it's essentially a promise a guarantee
that if the marriage ends
doesn't work out doesn't work out or if
the husband dies whatever then the wife
is entitled to a certain amount of money
right antire cha very interesting CH
from we won't go there now but how much
of it is real and how much of it is is
written for uh when they write these
huge amounts it's is written to to you
know so so it sounds very respecting but
not that actually that amount of money
has to be given but in any
case so everyone's happy everyone's
coming to the big party but if the if
knows what it says he knows he just
obligated himself to a significant
amount of money and ultimately he's
worried because everyone's hoping things
are going to work out but he's the one
who's now you know in this life
experiment of Life hoping things are
going to work out and he's not really
sure so he has that certain sense of
daving and hoping and is an amazing
great day and a person's all a person's
sins are forgiven and they were big
sadik when they were older wanted to get
married a second time or another time
just to just to be able to have another
y because of was special to that
day but if if only for that alone
meaning to say
but the essentially has a certain worry
in his heart so the says that when you
come to a wedding and you tell
[Music]
the she's you did a good match she's a
good woman you're going to be happy
together you're taking away from him the
the worry that he has so that's why the
way to be is not by singing and dancing
because you're actually not just doing
what giving him mustard you're actually
talking to the pro the the possible
worry that he has on his heart that's
why the brings this story down brings it
down as far
[Music]
as I use the story for business I use
this story for psychology I use this
story to explain that many of the things
people try to do to get customers and to
to and with their kids is they try to
make them happy here you got to try to
make them happy here can make them happy
here you're much better off you're good
to go what a powerful story RAB Tamar
Ginsburg quing of better known
as loved it amazing phenomenal great two
thumbs
up thank you
very all that you do for cl for the
Jewish people psychology Torah amazing
amazing we want to thank our friends at
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talk
anden I want to thank re man for
introducing us yes and I just want to
say that I'm very very very it's
very the work that does is absolutely
amazing we be able to
be amen amen thank you
very amazing
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