Cholentface: Lag BaOmer Hot Dogs

so now with all this quarantine I'm probably beginning to understand whether summer I offer twelve years in a cave walked out and the first person he saw he turned him into a pile of bones okay for those of you who don't know Robbie Shimon bar Yohai was he when the Romans were chasing her but Shimon bar Yochai he did he went inside a cave it was like a man cave and the greatest man cave of all time he had a stream of running water he had a buck surgery he had a sand pit now this box or tree for those again it's how he might not know this but buxar trees is like kind of if you've ever tasted a boxer they're like bananas except without any flavor on with four giant pits and consistency like pavement anyway he hid for for many years 12 years and he finally he exited the cave after learning much deep mysticism and eating tons of boxers and the first person he saw he saw a neighbor mowing his lawn you can imagine how he felt you know all that fresh grass that delicious dandelions edible he was the first to use laser eye treatment and I think we have a lot in common you know us in our social isolation and rubbish to America because he had he had water to wash his hands and we have Purell toilet paper we've all stocked up he had a he had a boxer tree with that was the only thing he could eat for 12 years we have cereal breakfast lunch and supper my kids are eating cereal and milk frosted flakes with sugar he had he had his clothes disintegrated and he had to hide into sand and cover his body we've been wearing pajamas for eight weeks the only differences are that he was stuck with his son his adult son well I'm stuck with five of my kids who were running around screaming on zoom' all day when the teachers colluded to coordinate that every 10 minutes while her in the middle of working some kid will come over and yell I'm hungry potty give me some cereal another thing that another thing that some else waiting room here another thing that the Lag Ba'Omer celebrates is the end of a large drug a cubist when there was actually a pandemic ironic me my boy Murr celebrates end of a pandemic where there was we keep a lot of mourning practices because many many people died so through the through the time up following bulb era there's a lot of mourning rituals that we do like every single what's that group tonight is this night at home where you know some of us we listen specifically to terrible terrible a cappella music now this year thank God we ran into bands weren't able to get together and make any new imitation popular songs now and also we allow ourselves to shave not alone the Bobbitt red shade they grow their beards out they look like cavemen which might be the purpose now that I think about it and they shave it's like like bombers suddenly arrives in though you know the entire link with your waiting over there with the shaver they're holding it up waiting for six months you're a beard you know they've got their face lathered and everything and then BOOM yes like boomer is here now no one's going to ask me again / to endure because I'm sure they get confused as Obama turds right they probably shave enough beer here to light up an entire bonfire which by the way that bonfires commemorates that person that was turned into a bought pile of bones and I always wonder like in Lakewood that one love mama tree you know who keeps his beard after a lot of Omir do you think that non-jews look at him and like same MO anyway so no not now all right Latimer is full of random random traditions like for example you know these traditions that would have no history related to them like for example like on my boomer everyone knows you take bows and arrows you should accept and no one ever takes bows and arrows goes to any field all right bows and arrows are dangerous we don't like your small did to your cut we don't want to be like your small that's one of the weird things about another weird thing is you know how you know every single young tip has like its own food like cleric has hamantaschen because we want to eat on these ears which is kind of weird and Hanukkah has latkes because we need to have enough oil in our bodies last eight days so a lot of believers food is hot dogs there's no explanation why but everyone you talk on the library I don't know like I always wonder what the meeting went all right it's like home where we're making this little today what kind of food are we gonna make hey I got an idea let's go with marrow bones that would be highly appropriate after where the sugar I did and this I'm sure there's other wise guy was like let's have hot dogs you know they're hot and I like all odds and just we kind of roll with it and one with it and to this day we all eat hot dogs without knowing why there's no reason no explanation why we keep unties has a llevaba sure though here's how we celebrate we celebrate Lag Ba'Omer with parade because the truth is that we like most Jews look at look at holidays and they see food different foods for different holidays kebab mix we look at holidays and we see different vehicles you know like cookies it's a pickup right I take the back of a pickup and throw it on there put on top of the roofs I'm like really pointing I don't know bamboo stick inside a couple of lovin and just don't drive too fast or you're definitely killing the car behind you Hannukah Hannukah RV drive around blasting music jelly doughnuts I once saw on those Mitzvah tanks got into an accident and with filled with jelly doughnuts everything look like a crime scene let me tell you my volume error is what's the word flatbed trucks they're you know yeah we all take slopes when I was in yeshiva it was like a month but no school you basically skipped school to make floats really what you're doing is putting together our paper mache kay just painting it brown and you're like all right here's a float we're good to go and the floats are easing the parade and greet is always my favorite part a lot like her you know like we all get around people holding up these like leader signs you know these uh say like you know put on tefillin bring mashita and it's always like the ribbons and signs that he was very much into but some of them are a little weird like imagine a non-jew seeing this like this like parade going by and kids Santa their home stuff like bring holy books in your home or observe family purity you know that like what is family like all remodels is this Harry Potter like what you want me to take a bath like what's going on here I always you know I always thought they probably found it the strangest thing anyway this year this year it's a little exciting so I decided to do like you know like went in quarantine way or these last airline where I just decided I'm thinking my kids were spending 12 years in it in the basement okay and this year we're finally going to live I'm I'm gonna allow them to outside and see the air and my neighbor is turning on his dad longer