Days of Guilt or Days of Love? - Rabbi YY Jacobson 9/8/2019

okay era of Tove Chivato it's nice to see everyone I like to offer very special welcome to everyone who's here with a very extra-special welcome to those from grabbed my traps amazing organization the participants the leaders and thank you for so much that you do for the Jewish community this event is being co-sponsored by many other Scholz and I want to thank their abundant and the leaders of the other synagogues for joining one of the nice things in this community is we get together not only column for tragic moments but also for moments of inspiration to try to reinforce the messages of peace within our community we have a trap called me a few weeks ago asking what I thought about our show hosting rabbi YY Jacobson for an event commemorating Jamie traps 10th yard site rabbi traps brother and when I acknowledged this evening Miriam and other members of the extended family that are here and I thought it'd be a wonderful partnership because Jamie had a tremendous character trait of being a great listener and I think he would have loved to listen to rabbi YY Jacobsen who is able to break through barriers he talks to all different types of Jews whether they are classic secular in fact he's now expanding into the non-jewish world as well bringing messages of hope challenge with great psychological and Torah insights Jamie was a person who was able to listen anyone here who knew him knew that when you met him even when he was very sick he was more interested in hearing than in talking about himself this time of year we focus so much on hearing hearing the voice of the shofar it's referred to as a voice the call of the shofar throughout the Liturgy of Rosh Hashanah and Yom a key Purim we focus on Shema call a new Bay to listen to our voices to listen to the voices of our children of our spouses these are all lines that are found in the mocks are in the text that is used during the high holiday season and we remember this evening someone who was an incredible listener who listened to rabbis who listened to simple people and especially listened to his family and his family continues to listen to the messages that he gave to them and to the broader community so remember this evening a great man I encourage all of you to listen carefully to the inspiring words of rabbi Jacobsen and first of rabbi drop thank you the tenth yard site of my brother Jamie trop Zev Eliezer Ben Moshe will take place at exactly one week on September 15th the 15th of ll and this evening I say Thank You Hashem because tonight is not a sad gathering in those first grave days ten years ago we might have expected that tonight would be a sad occasion to focus on loss but in fact it is not sad dear I say tonight is a celebration it's a solemn celebration but a celebration nonetheless a celebration of the great things that happened and continued to happen since you Jamie left this world ten years ago we have to thank you Hashem for orchestrating all the pieces of the puzzle that have led us to this day first congregation kept the Torah and Rabbi Bam Bam our family wishes to express a tremendous debt of gratitude to you and to Quetta Torah you gave extensive time and provided important resources and the immediate aftermath of Jay he's passing you encouraged Miriam and the children to make a daring decision to go to France for six months one year after Jaime had left the world and you stayed in touch you answered their questions about mezuzahs and buildings occupied by Muslims and everything that they needed from then until this day and along with the members of this special congregation where I enjoyed a very very uplifting Shabbat you made and you continued to make this shul a place of warmth prayer and total growth for all your members but especially my dear sister-in-law Miriam Trapp low F my dear brother-in-law Jules low F my three wonderful nieces and nephew revoke on and Joe Miriam you are surely the unsung heroine of this story in your quiet but forceful way you have been Iraq steady indefatigable crystal clear on your commitment to family and to you - kite you did and you do all the right things to raise three beautiful children who ranged an age at the time from 14 to 9 when you were left alone and we're now three beautiful accomplished well-adjusted Binet Torah adults and Thank You Miriam for bringing Jules low F into the family Jules you stepped into a vacuum of husband and father Scott so skillfully and humbly demonstrating by your living example values the finest of human and Jewish values that children should aspire to Emily and they have limited time allows me to only say one thing about Jamie this evening maybe there'll be another time next year and for that I will quote his own words about ten months before his passing he wrote a beautiful email letter that Miriam shared with me just this past week he wrote it to Miriam Riva Khan and Jo the letter is informal it's an email but it has all the elements of a masterful deep and F and wise ethical will Jamie called it the big message and I'll quote just three sentences my big message is to relax and enjoy all the good experiences you have and continue doing good things for others relaxing and enjoying life's experiences while also helping others is how I have been fortunate to live most of my life on the same note take the tour seriously and serve that means hard work folks and serve Hashem with simcha with joy as I have seen you do Jamie you evoked three cardinal principles of Jewish life made of them lots Moe personal character development your life philosophy to be relaxed and calm number 2 helping others been Adam block aveiro mitzvot Commandments between man and man and number three to take the Torah seriously and serve God with joy bein Adam luma comb to build a relationship with the Almighty hasta hashem through a Shems great graces your wife and children have taken to heart and lived up to these three sentences in the finest of ways in our personal path to Torah observance both Jamie and I were guided and hosted by many many wonderful observant people who befriended us from all over including Teaneck way back 40 years ago when it was a small town so it's fitting that tonight we establish a know charity and it's on the other side of your pledge cards called Carens FLE as they're in memory of Jamie trop to enhance Jewish unity and spiritual growth through the many successful programs and initiatives of project inspire as you can see from the brochures in your hands they're on every other seat and on the screens at least they were there before and from the amazing local work under the leadership of julie farkas and many volunteers who are here who are too numerous to mention but all deserve tremendous a charata Tove project inspire unites the Jewish people to go globe to grow closer to a shaman his Torah and I want a single attribute Haim Sampson who's sitting in the corner seat over here just put your hand up rabbi climb Samson the director of project inspire project inspire is a proud program a Shotaro and h today is led by the newly installed russia shiva reviews clipper quits and the CEO rabbi steve berg a resident of local Bergenfield rama Berg is a major source of strategic guidance and organizational wisdom and heartfelt encouragement in achieving our shared mission project inspires shared mission with age to bring back all of our brothers and sisters to our Father in Heaven project inspire though operates at a zero based funding model that means that we have to raise all of our funds each year and we receive no stipends or budget guarantees from anybody so tonight please give generously to the Karen Zeb Eleazar of project inspire in memory of my brother and in honor of the great work that's going on here and elsewhere pledge cards are in front of you and outside the staff will be taking checks and processing credit cards but please fill out both parts of the card there's a financial donation and a call to action to get involved to take part to become a one-on-one learning partner with someone more or less affiliated depending on whom you are - to attend future project inspire events locally and beyond and three to host and help organize to become an activist - doer on behalf of the Jewish people in your community to learn more about reaching out to host dynamic speakers who address the issues of today as will rabbi why Jacobson and to bring together more and more of our Jewish brothers and sisters from diverse backgrounds may Karen Zev Eliezer bring a blessing to the Jewish people and to the soul of Zev Eliezer Ben Moshe Oliver Shalom he's a crow burro please pay attention now to an informative at the brief video presentation followed by words to an incredible Adana to sad mnek an executive coach for Fortune 500 companies but for us more importantly along with her husband Lloyd sitting next to her in the second row close friends of project inspire who have been deeply involved in all our programs for many years and have changed their lives as a result give your attention [Music] Jane spire trip it's only ten days but it was amazing how in those 10 days were all connected how we learn from each other how we understood each other as if we were together for life Jai inspired has made a huge impact it's created avenues of connection that your standard from person would not have had and a secular person never would have been able to achieve a lot of secular Jews don't know anything about religious Jews and having a little education about things I knew zero about has definitely broken down all the barriers for me once the barriers are broken down it's about warmth it's about the beauty of Judaism and so everybody comes together to achieve one goal and just to be a harmonious and to understand we're all Jews everybody wants to be together because there's this something special going on and that's where they want to get it anyone share it Jay inspire creating this caring community of religious and non-religious Jews that's the way it has to be [Music] Long Island I did know much about anything from to Judaism standpoint but we did go to Temple for the High Holidays and that's the way I was brought up but from a conservative and a conservative environment and I grew up in Philadelphia and was always very proud to be Jewish but very uneducated from a Jewish perspective down when I met when we were freshmen in college quite a long time ago in 1979 and we finally got married in 1988 he got married at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia by a female rabbi so a wonderful beautiful wedding and I think we did many of the traditional things as far as walking around and doing breaking the glass but had no idea what it meant we belonged as a family to a conservative temple and then one day just if a friend of the temple said to me there's just trip this free trip to Israel for moms a kind of a birth rate for moms and you should really go on this so I went on the JWR pee trip every day I learned something new and had amazing conversations with the observant women who were on it they were such a gift it was a complete game-changer for me when I came back I had the incredible privilege of being adopted by this woman's appear eyford from Borough Park and she almost immediately invited me to her home for Shabbos myself and my husband and when my daughter's got in the car and drove from New Jersey to Borough Park for our very first Shabbos [Music] I never spent a Shabbos period in any park anywhere anywhere but what we learned was there's family values there is values of religion God Hashem this was a new experience for me was just a beautiful way to spend a couple of days and was a quick learning process and we enjoyed it and that's probably go back [Music] I subsequently met with simcha Barnett rabbi Barnett turns to me and says we're gonna have a men's trip the JW RP project inspire or J inspire men's trip so he says you want to go I said I'm there [Music] now I'm able to bring that experience home and all of a sudden our home changed completely when you think about what really has propelled us along this journey and what has really meant the most to us it has just been regular amazing observant people who their willingness to share that insight to bring us into their world to allow us to ask questions has been I would say by far the most valuable thing it has touched our lives in such a way they have become such models for us and we should only hope to one day live up to what they've shown us these wonderful people have just taken on us and there are so many opportunities for so many others like the folks that just mentioned that can do the same and make that impact find just regular folks like us [Music] we were at a wedding with Lori Pilat Nick and they asked about our original wedding and we of course told them we were married by a female rabbi at the four seasons and they were like okay and I'm doing a real Orthodox wedding and became an idea and rabbi Barnett who is a major incredible influence in our life came up with this idea of doing the wedding on the couples mission in Israel and we went into job and at the wall we just it was just beautiful it just felt like we were in the middle of a moment that Hashem was really there with us [Applause] [Music] [Applause] life now is is better there's more of a goal of growing giving back I don't think there's any piece of what we do today that is not in some ways been impacted by this journey and the fact that I now have Hashem kind of running the world for me and with me everything's different in a way that I would say is much more positive and much more grounded much more gratitude based then it might have been six years ago [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] it's so funny to say so first of all my husband and I are so amazingly touched and honored to be here with all of you today and with these incredible rabbis that are here as well in this room rabbi you welcomed us so beautifully into the community thank you we project inspire has been such an important part and so much has happened since this video was made so we were invited after this video by Esther and Jerry Friedman to come for a Shabbos here in Teaneck and you'll find when you invite people for Shabbos we were like no for fine and we ended up coming and we could not believe how wonderful the people were here and then we ended up coming back for the High Holidays this was a major thing for us we were so involved in our local community in basking ridge and we loved the community and there was so much good but we we picked up and came here for the High Holidays and I we attended rabbi wilds service here in this show we could not believe what an amazing community this was we had never been to a modern orthodox community ever we didn't even know one existed we had kind of started off going to Borough Park and we were thinking there's a really big dichotomy from where we were starting and coming here we met such amazing people people that were warm and friendly and inviting and just so welcoming it was it was a really incredible experience for us and so since then we've actually sold our house that we built and raised our children in Basking Ridge we are now renting a house and Teaneck and we have just bought a house and Tina [Applause] so we're going to be moving into the corner of Winthrop and Sussex and we are really going to become permanent residents of this beautiful amazing community we met many of the people that you were hearing before early on who were from Teaneck and so many people really touched our lives I mean met julie farkas who you mentioned and the levees and and many others I just went on another trip with Esther Freeman and Andrea portal they do an amazing second level trip and so many people Debbie and Rose elinsky who is also here and Esther and I have done many trips to Israel and more importantly there are so many people in this room now that we now learn together both with my women and with the men and together it's been truly remarkable but my message I guess to everyone in this room is that I just love to share that your generosity of spirit the way you reach out to less affiliated people is so so important and so meaningful I'll just tell you for myself I wasn't choosing to be not affiliated I literally didn't even know it existed until I went on my Jay WRP trip I had never met an Orthodox person it wasn't like I was saying I don't want to do it I didn't know as an option and before the JW RP trip back in 2011 I had never heard of Hashem I didn't understand the beauty of Shabbos or what keeping kosher look like or meant you know I I just can't even begin to tell you like invite someone to a Shabbos meal you know learn with them invite them to a cup of coffee you I just I can't begin to tell you what it can mean I work with really senior leaders all over the world in large large companies and I think one of the things I've really learned is that everybody wants to be great everybody wants meaning in their life and really to have gratitude and I tell people all the time that I live in a community where everyone is grateful you wake up in the morning and you say a prayer about being grateful you eat something you wait you have to say a prayer before you eat it your so grateful you even say a prayer after going to the bathroom because you're so grateful and when you talk about that generosity of spirit that love of giving and generosity I can't even begin to tell you the lives you can touch I look at you having all of the tools and the insights to be able to really change the way people think and I would just say that if you could reach out to somebody because I know people reached out to us you can change the person which I believe will change the family which will then change the community which I believe will then change the world and so i really suggest that as you think about people at work or people at your gym or people that you just know that are unaffiliated teach them what you know listen to them I love the words of kind of listening I just think there's so much you don't know if maybe that particular moment that you talked to somebody might be the moment that inspires them to talk to their child who's now dating someone not Jewish to maybe marry someone Jewish or maybe they'll be inspired to learn something or maybe they'll be even inspired to attend a Shabbos meal you just don't know so I always think that people in Teaneck are the most gracious amazing people and your smile and your inviting a so Shabbos meal the learning moments I would just encourage you through project inspire and through just what you do to just keep doing it it's for us it's been I feel we feel so amazingly amazingly blessed I really feel like each of those moments change people's lives we actually had friends come up on Friday and also go to the Freeman's house for dinner and they can't believe this community so I would just say the project inspire and Jewish journeys are such an amazing resource reach out to them get connected make it part of your la plan a couple years ago when I was first learning what ella was I put on I'd love to find a community I'd love that and was all my plan my la plan and here this year in LA we are moving to Teaneck can't get better than that my husband and I so look forward to getting to know all of you we feel so incredibly blessed to be part of this in special incredibly welcoming community I really cannot wait to hear the rabbi speak right now it's going to be amazing and thank you so much just for everything you guys have done and making us so feel welcome here thank you there is a poster outside and you may have your first opportunity to connect with summary les affiliated at the forthcoming Shabbat retreat in November I think it's part of a era we're couraging people of all affiliations to bring friends from the opposite direction and to celebrate a Shabbat together equally half and half 900 people together you can find the information outside I'm thrilled to introduce our friend and our teacher rabbi YY Jacobson who will share insights to prepare us for the coming High Holidays Thank You rabbi Jacobsen for being here this evening and thank you for being from here for project inspire and lazarenn ich muss Jamie trop rather than take any further valuable time to introduce rabbi Jacobsen I will allow his own words to eloquently show you exactly who he is after the program again we mind everybody to please fill out the pledge cards it's turn them in outside there will be a million for my rib for men in the base measures thank you for coming [Applause] thank you so much Rab Mordecai Wow it's really a privilege I'm thrilled to be here at this special evening of project inspire in tribute to the incredible work that Roberto fetch up and the entire dedicated selfless staff a project inspire does day in and day out to build bridges to unite Jews and to Kindle Sparks and ignite hearts I'm very honored especially knowing that I think this is the first event in ten years commemorating and in tribute to the great soul of Rab mortifies brother Jamie and I know that all your work in project inspire is deeply impacted and influenced by the example by the quiet but living and powerful example that occasion love humour and meaningful life that your brother lived I'm honored that Miriam is here and it's really a privilege to be able to be in the presence of such a family through all the challenges and the silliness and difficulties you've raised three extraordinary children and I for one I'm honored to be at such an evening commemorating Jaime's legacies if grown and LaRocca may continue to serve as a source of blessing and inspiration to his entire family to the entire community to castle turret to the entire Jewish people and thank you of course rabbi BOM shalita for opening the portals and inviting me and for the whole community of castor Torah and everybody who is present here this evening it's amazing thank you you know a woman once asked me and she said rabbi Jacobsen could you find me a perfect man a perfect husband so I said I could try but give me the definition you know perfect is a very relative term what's the definition of that perfect man you're looking for and she said in my book the perfect man is someone who wakes up five o'clock in the morning he makes his own bed he makes breakfast for himself he is scheduled principled disciplined he only surfs the web seven minutes a day he only takes two calls a day he does his own laundry he doesn't see his wife as a slave he makes his own food he exercises and reads daily most importantly you always know where he is you're never second guessing where he is he stable consistent he's in the same place and finally he goes to bed nine o'clock at night his rabbi that's my definition of a perfect man where can I find such a guy and I said in prison you know which is actually true there was an American family they were very proud of their lineage they trace their lineage back to someone who came here on the Mayflower and they decided to write a book about the family history so that the continuing generations would know about their great ancestry but the middle of the research they got stuck they came across a great-great uncle by the name of Richard Smith the third who was a petty criminal a vicious criminal to the point that he was executed on the electric chair in cinq-cinq prison for his Masum Tobin for his criminal and horrible deeds now if it was a Jewish family it wouldn't be a problem because we always make biographies about people and families and when we don't like the facts we just delete them they never existed they never happened we just know how to do that but for that you need a you dish a cup this family didn't know about that art of reinventing history based on your needs and social pressures and expectations and should do comand seminaries and schools and your Shiva's and a lot of things that go on in Jewish minds not all present company excluded of course but you know what I'm talking about so what do you do so they go to this expert and he says I'll write it the way it's supposed to be written loyal to historical accuracy but not compromising integrity and with bated breath they wait for the publication of the book and they fetch the book and they go to that page and they read the following paragraph my dear friends great-great uncle Richard Smith the third occupied a very important chair in a central governmental institution he was tied down to his position with the strongest of cords and despite many attempts he could not tear himself away from this important position where he remained with the profoundest of shackles and cords linked then connected to this important clear until his last breath his death came as a sudden shock friends you got to know how to tell a story there is telling the story and is telling a story and in many ways this month for the next month there's a story it's a story that we tell every year but you have to know how to tell the story because it's how you tell the story that makes all the difference you all know about the three Jews in Palm Beach Florida they lived in New Jersey they retired in Palm Beach they would go golfing every morning and then play bridge drink gin and they would tell each other jokes now how many Jewish jokes are there do you know how many Jewish jokes are there huh I'm an expert this is my field so there are 300 Jewish jokes that's it there are okay a hundred of them about rabbis 50 lawyers 25 doctors the rest is about food wives mothers and law husbands and that's basically it and then they're recycled in different ways so what are three Jews in Palm Beach do they tell Jewish jokes and their plot sing and laughing and giggling after ten years they got a little bored so they decided instead of telling the joke they'll number every joke and they just say 43 and you know what joke 43 anybody will laugh and a one day a fourth guy joins and he sits down he doesn't understand what's going on joke 120 but he's laughing joke 69 anybody he's laughing he feels like an idiot and you want to be part of her you're the click you don't want to be an outsider so he tries his luck gives us scream 89 stone-faced nobody's laughing like the guy in the back then nobody's laughing Stoneface he says what's going on why are you not laughing you and you guys do the numbers everybody's laughing what's wrong they say listen you have to know how to tell a joke it's always how to tell the story there's a story that we tell we tell this story through rituals traditions customs prayers services community mitzvos but how do we tell the story how do we understand the story a number of years ago a man by the name of Moshe air Langer an Israeli Jew went to Germany for business before Yom Kippur because of weather problems in Germany his flight from Frankfurt to Tel Aviv got delayed and delayed and at some point they notified him that ben-gurion airport is closed for Yom Kippur and they cannot make it home for Yom Kippur disappointed he called home shared with his wife and family that he won't be home for Yom Kippur the first time since his wedding that he would not pray and keep her in the shul where he moved his yeshiva shizz yeshiva community he loved the people he loved the Cantor he loved the rabbi he loved the worshipers it was just his it was his lifeline and on the holiest day of the year he felt very isolated and disappointed but you don't always choose where you are at a given point in life curveballs come our way constantly although we try to avoid them and he booked a hotel near the great shul of Frank Frank he walks to the great shoal moments before Yom Kippur he had his toilet his prayer shawl but he didn't have the prayer book for Yom Kippur he didn't have the white coat which we call the Kittel he had slippers he comes into the synagogue the gabbai the assistant of the synagogue over Sholem Aleichem welcome to the great ruler frankfurt where you from me says I'm from Israel I got stuck here unfortunately I have to be here um Kippur can you give me the attire and each vmq pieces absolutely here is your attire here is your prayer book and here is you see I don't know if any of you have been to the great jewel of Frankfurt it's worth a visit splendorous it's an architectural marvel and it fills up on Yom Kippur he's sitting there and you dish the word would be shocked and he say for hackin t-mek despondent dejected frustrated annoyed you know that feeling not in this show but you know the feeling of people sitting and you just you're not in your natural habitat you're out of your comfort zone he really felt you know it's like completely out of place and then the Cantor went up and started hi [Music] I call it needed a the Cantor's name was Sadiq greenwalt oh so a Jew from Israel who would fly in every year for the High Holy Days to Frankfurt to serve as the Hassan as the cantor in the great synagogue of Frankfurt and he led the congregation few thousand Jews with passion and enthusiasm to the point that a middle of Kol Nidre the Cantor broke down sobbing and moisture from Israel never heard such a comedy he never heard such emotion he never heard such passion he never saw such concentration he himself was moved to tears and after the davenic after the services he went to thank the Cantor and they got into a little smooth what are you doing here I got stuck and the Cantor says I come from Israel - every year my parents were Holocaust survivors so it's very meaningful for me to be able to lead the services which is shown on Yom Kippur in the re-established Jewish community in Germany after the Second World War in this great synagogue which was remained from pre Holocaust Germany and Republic says maybe God wanted you here so that you should appreciate Yom Kippur he said I'm asking myself the same question but I'm also asking what made you so emotional I call Nidrei what was it what's the story and the Cantor looks at him and says maybe you're here just to hear the story and he heard the story and he shared it and tonight I share it with you and he says to him a few years ago I prayed and those of you who are Cantor's know Yom Kippur is not an easy day it's not an easy day for rabbis but it's a much harder day for Cantor's Kol Nidre and in the afternoon chakra at Musa of Minnis Anila and rhapsodic was doing everything and at the end of that day he was knocked out hunger pangs but more importantly the thirsts a parched voice after singing a whole day and the voice resonating in the Great Synagogue of Frankfurt he was really ready for a cold drink of water a nice Jewish bite and a good night's sleep in the Frankfurt Otel getting ready to go back home for the holiday of Sukkot in the Holy Land where Sadiq lived he walks out of Shu he puts away his cantorial garments and attire the lights are off the janitor is already finished cleaning up you know that feel right there's three people left and shoul you know that feel and he's the last one janitor shuts the lights he goes out he has to walk a few blocks is Hotel he's really looking forward to the meal and drink that awaits him in his hotel room and as he walks out the front gates and he closes the gates which lock he sees a Jew bewildered standing in front of the gate he looked like 60s and with a mixed accent of German Russian and Yiddish he says in this German Yiddish Russian broken vocabulary for vas sign in the toy ran from the shoe format why are the gates to the synagogue locked is hanged by knock this Geum Kippur is tonight not yet kipper so dick understood immediately he says what do you mean he says I came here for coal Nidre I came in for Yom Kippur it's usually packed there's usually two thousand people why are the gates locked so the greenwalt says I didn't have a heart tell him I was quiet he says ain't for me answer me why are the gates market at this point a Jew is very agitated he's nervous he's somewhat frantic I have no choice something says to tell him the truth my say my dear you dalla I'm so sorry Yom Kippur was last night the gates are locked because um Kippur is over I'm going home the Jew breaks down sobbing oh ye oh ye oh ye oh ye sonic says why you sobbing why you sobbing he says you don't understand my parents barely survived the Holocaust and then they assimilated they did not want to have to do anything with Judas and Judas and they suffered too much but one thing my father would do he would go to synagogue on the night of Yom Kippur and before he died he said we are an assimilated Jewish family opening Yudin the sign in here but we're Jewish and he says how do you know that you're Jewish when you go to synagogue on Yom Kippur that's how you know you're Jewish and you're connected to 4,000 years of Jewish history and he looks at the Cantor and he says in my life I never missed Yom Kippur Kol Nidrei when my father was alive and after he died this year is the first time at last I'm not Jewish anymore that's why I'm crying what would you do sadiq Greenwald knew exactly what he has to do he put his hand on the Jews shoulders and he said come with me come with me he opens the gate takes him into Shore opens the lights puts on his Tallis Kittel his cousin hat goes to the Cantor goes to the pulpit puts this Russian German Jew right near him and he says we're going to do Kol Nidre you and me God and he starts singing call me Dre hi and subjects is okay the truth I'm a professional cantor usually when I get up there's 2,000 people you know what I'm thinking about I'm thinking a little bit about God but what am I mostly thinking about I gotta impress the people I want to impress the board of directors I need a contract for next year I want to get some compliments I need some validation I want to do a good job I want to be like I want them to have a meaningful experience but here I was alone it was not one person in this room there was an old Jew unassimilated you who knew nothing who was that singing for but I felt God's presence with this true and I broke down crying and I sang Kol Nidrei and I felt all of Jewish history coming to life at that moment I finished the call me Dre send them my love they probably want to hear I finish the combo you can put it on vibrate please I finish the comedy Dre we we say this smart together I give him a big hug and a big kiss and I say my Jew we just celebrated Yom Kippur and Kol Nidre the Jew looks at me and he says English you will never know what you did for me and he went home and I went home the next year I come to synagogue he's there on Yom Kippur sitting in the front comes over to me he says you remember me I said of course I remember you he says what you did for me nobody but me and God will understand episodic says every year since when I say call me Dre I go back to that moment and it's so moving for me it's so emotional for me I cry that's what happens I heard this remorse hear this he heard it from Krause and saw the Greenwald and I thought that myself you know this story is so applicable not only in Frankfurt are mine at the Rhine River how applicable this story is in the United States of America at the 21st century even for all of us good Jews who come to the synagogue which is shown on Yom Kippur but we find the gates closed no I don't mean the physical gates I mean our emotional gates are spiritual gates we often feel unmoved uninspired alienated sometimes angry dejected apathetic indifferent they once asked to do what's the difference between ignorance and apathy and he said I don't know and I don't care we often feel that the gates to our own heart to our own soul are locked yeah we go through the ritual your grandmother will tell you if you don't show up him Kippur we have our seats we have our tickets we go through the roads we have the prayer books but my inner soul is often locked I'm indifferent there's a certain lifelessness a numbness just doesn't speak to me I may be there in the right time at the right place but emotionally I don't feel present and this is where this episode it taught me such a profound lesson and I think I'm not going to explain to you the lesson myself I'm going to allow former President of the United States Bill Clinton to explain to you the message you see some time ago I got a call from a man named rabbi Michael Paley where Michael Paley who's a reconstructionist rabbi shared with me the following experience it was the end of 1998 Bill Clinton was going through a hard time came close to being impeached because of certain Maya symptom certain great deeds that involved Rebbetzin Lewinsky if you remember the end of 98 the beginning of 99 and Bill Clinton traveled to Cincinnati to have a special evening with clergy you didn't know this I'm telling you who was invited as Jewish clergy Michael Paley who shared the story directly with me and Michael tells me says rabbi rabbi Jacobsen you know I decided you know it is with clergy and the president it's about the picture right you get the picture you hang it up in your office it goes viral and for three moments you fell on top the world but I decided I'm not one of these guys I'm gonna meet the Prez I don't just need a handshake in a picture I'm actually gonna tell him a meaningful message and as Bill Clinton walks by and he shakes my hand and I introduce myself I say mr. president it's time for you to do chuva and I'm a bachelor means repentance and I'm about to explain to the President of the United States what is true ver I want to explain what it is but as I trying to continue the sentence he interrupts me he says rabbi Paley that's so interesting but I have a question when you speak about me doing truven do you mean chuva from the perspective of Rabbi Sol evasion or do you mean sugar from the perspective of Rabbi kook with Shiva do you mean now I have to interrupt the story because when Michael told this to me I said it's fictional he said I swear to you these words work I'm like what you do I almost fainted I said first of all how in the world you know about our missile of a chicken Rabbi kook second of all how in the world you know the difference between the sugar of a soul of a true prep cook third of all you know about sugar more than 98% of American Jews that's pretty good mr. president still got a new true ver but you know a lot about you so here I really have to take a break in the story and I'm basically going to give you a lecture to explain the shear of Bill Clinton I'm explaining what's the difference of rough cook and rough salivates it when it comes to truth rabbi Sol evade because many of you know rabbi JB Reb Yosef David Levy salivated a blessed memory passed away 1993 Russia Shiva of Romania it's a called Hana of your Shiva University from the famous Sullivan chick dynasty of the great Luther Wayne Ian rabbis and sages known as the brisket dynasty this was robbery so love H if I cook passed away few decades earlier in the mid 1930s the first task a massive chief rabbi of Israel and that time it was called Palestine rabbi Avram it's like a Cohen cook they were both loosed Iranian Jews but there was a difference between them rabbi Sullivan was a proud product of the Luther Wayne Ian and analytical Tom Munich dynasty rough cook was also a great hollow hick authority but he was also a poet and a philosopher of wrestling was also vlas but he was a mystic rough cook wrote a lot about Jewish mysticism based on the teachings of massive and Kabbalah an aesthetic spirituality and they speak about repentance in two different ways for rabbi Sol of a trick the primary component of true ver of repentance is about accountability remorse confection fashion and accepting and resolving to change your behavior in the future it's a very hollow heck systematic rigorous process accepting responsibility expressing regret not only internally but verbally making a resolution for the future changing your behavior the system of chuhwa in Jewish law articulated in Maimonides laws of repentance and other similar works of Jewish law for Rabbi kook the focus of chula has a little bit of a different twist he always writes based on the teachings of the baal shem tov and his students primarily that shuva actually is about returning to the untainted self it's the discovery that the core self has never been alienated from truth that my core soul is a helical akame mouth is a fragment of divinity and therefore sin is essentially an aberration of my internal spiritual chemistry super just means reclaiming who you always were discovering the positive core that was never tainted and never tarnished and just re embracing that which was never detached or alienated so rabbi rabbi so President Clinton Freudian slip President Clinton wants to know which truth of you mean the immediate Suva of Rabbi Sol of a trick they mean achieve a rough cook Michael Pelle was plainly was clever he says mr. president of course the chuhwa of rough cook Clinton says that's interesting most people I speak to believe that I got a do the true ver of Rabbi Sol of a trick not the Cheever rough cook he's smart Michael Paley says but I say that you should do the true ver of her of cook he says if so we should talk if that's what you believe we should talk and after the official meeting with the clergy was over he said the president asked me to a side room and we spent time conversing together privately about how Judaism looks at Shiva and you know beyond the humor of the story there's a very profound message because very often we look at this month we look at the next month and there was an element of dread an element of fear we call it yummy no Ryan an element of or and it's true there's an element of or or became paint particle but underlying the story of or is a story of profound and infinite love it's a story about the ultimate belief of Judaism that all of my texts Rissa T all of my trauma all of my insecurities all of my pain all of my jealousy all of my depression all of my agony anger all of my issues that I have to bring up to my therapist every week all of the issues they're true they may be true and real and authentic and caused me pain but they could not constitute your core self which remains wholesome powerful confident optimistic sacred positive holy and no experience in life and not even mistakes that you have made or that I have made and not even abuse that has been done to me by others willingly and maliciously or even unwillingly can snuff out can obliterate can compromise can even dilute the truth of your internal wholesomeness and holiness and thus the main processes to really work through the debris not to allow myself to be defined by external layers but to excavate and to find that core powerful divine self Who am I I am an ambassador of God in this world Who am I I am an ambassador of love light hope healing love and redemption are there other voices in me that give me other messages of course there are but who am i and what are things that attach mice themselves to me through various voices you know the bat mitzvah boy who comes to his mother and says mommy I want to speak at the Bar Mitzvah about our ancestry wasn't the Mayflower but whatever the ancestry was mommy says I'll tell you and mama gives him the picture of where the family comes from he says no no mommy all the way back in the beginning where do we come from Oh God created heaven and earth and then he created Adam and Eve and Adam and me for whatever reason decided to have soldier mistake and the rest was he stewey or rather not his theory but her story and then there was Abraham Isaac Jacob Sarah Rebecca Rachel Leia here we are Wow comes to Daddy now that he was a proud graduate of Oxford University daddy where do we come from and that he says well fifteen point four billion years ago there was a prebiotic soup which we call a prebiotic chalant and one day it exploded and ultimately from the combination of amino acids the first bacterium developed and after billions and billions and billions of years evolution happened and the chimpanzees one day experienced a cognitive revolution seventy thousand years ago and here we are today the book comes back to his mother says mommy I'm confused about my Bar Mitzvah speech you tell me that we come from Abraham Isaac Jacob Adam and Eve and God daddy tells me we come from bacteria and gas was right my supposed to say and his mother looks and says son there's no contradiction your father is talking about his side of the family and I'm talking about my side of the family we have two sides of the family and that's why Judaism addresses both on one level used achiever of rabbis elevates it on another level this is did silver ruff cook they're not contradictory one is talking about my father's side of the family one is talking about my mother's side of the family I hope my mother is listening so when I come that night iam Kippur and I feel that I'm late I feel that the gates are closed I must always remember that there's a relationship that could never be locked there was a relationship that could never be compromised doing as an authentic spiritual connection that every single person has which nothing and nobody can ever compromise and how fortunate each and every one of us is when we can listen to that inner cry of every one of our brothers and sisters the world over yearning to be able to find somebody who can open the gates not of the synagogue but it can open the gates to their own soul because it's within each and every person and the incredible work of project inspired to be able to open those gates physically and mentally is inspiring it's the call of the hour to be able to teach every one of our brothers and sisters you are always connected you are forever connected you will forever be connected because who are you you are essentially an ambassador of love in this world thank you very very much [Applause] [Music] thank you [Applause] thank you everyone for sharing in this gorgeous tribute to Jamie trop for generously supporting project inspire for listening to the words of rabbi YY Jacobsen and a welcome rabbi Steve Buerger I spoke about before and I want to let everybody know there's a minyan for Myra in the best Madras and thank everybody for coming and a Kashiwa Cosima Tova to all you