Derech Mitzvosecha Minu Melech #3 - Aggressive vs. Passive ppl, stories, King Dovid - RC Dalfin

Good day. This is the third year in the mitzvah from the third in which he explains the mystical ideas behind certain mitzvah. So last few weeks we covered the mitzvah of a and not to hate another Jew. And this time we're learning appointing a king. It says in the Tyra that when you come into the land of Israel, the land of Israel, and you settle the land, you should um appoint a king. So there's a story in the prophets called Tanakh which says that the Jews came to Samuel the pro prophet Samuel is Hanovi the prophet and they said we want a king and got upset with them and said like why do you need a king now's objection was because they added two words two or three words in their request they said we want a king like all other nations that's the language and while I while why while while I'm mentioning the word once and for all we have to knock it out of the heads that the word is not projorative it's not a negative word it means nations unfortunately it's been used in a negative way in a racist way sometimes all a You're a But the truth of the matter is the word means a nation, other nations. There's the Jewish nation and there's the other nations. Be that as it may, but it's good for you to to know that and to kind of recalculate the way we use the word goim. And indeed, we shouldn't use it in a derogatory way. It's not necessary. It's unhealthy especially today with all the anti-semitism but be that as it may. So the problem was that they came to schmoo and they asked them we want a nation because because all the Joneses have a king we want I'm sorry we want a king because all the other nations have a king so we also want one. So to this, Hashem got upset and ultimately God got upset and it led to a disaster with King Saul. King Saul, the first king, Scholik ultimately came along. David, King David, which is the Davidic kingdom, meaning to say the Mashiach, the Messiah, the Jewish Messiah comes is Ben David, right? There is a concept some of you this might be new but there's a concept called Mashiach ben yv and mashiach ben David Mashiach the son of ysef and the mashiach the son of David mashiach ben y is a prelude to the ultimate Messiah which is someone else because he comes not from the lineage of Joseph one of the tribes he comes from the lineage of David I think I told you I once lettering and Mar Vista, California many years ago and I lived in California. It was a reformed a reformed synagogue and I was invited by the rabbi. That itself was um pretty amazing to have a kabad a kabad rabbi the way I look although my beard was black at the time coming into a reform um Sunday morning men's group in the library with men and women that were invited to lead a fbrangan at 10:00 in the morning Sunday morning and to teach some nigim and it was a real real special experience so after I finished He walked me out the rabbi, reformed rabbi, forget his name now. And he said to me that he says, "I believe that the babb rabishen is the Messiah Ben Joseph." And he meant it. I'm telling you, he was going on and he said, "I could tell you why." And he started to quote and prove and this and that. I didn't argue with him. I didn't, you know, I just So there is a concept called mashiach Benv. But the ultimate Messiah is from Ben David, the Davididic house. In other words, after the the fiasco with Shah Melik, the first king, which followed the this issue here with Samuel, the the reluctance of Schmoo to give them a king, right? Uh, etc. So, so the the kingship moved royalty for Jew for Jews moved over to David and that was sanctioned by God because it's associated with Msiah and different reasons. So in this mimer in this discourse of the sedic he asks several questions but we're at the point at the top of towards the top of page 109 in Hebrew Kuess where he asks the question where he says in order to to to understand the whole idea of a king a king is not a president a king is not a monarch not only a monarch A king is not a zar. All those ideas that we have read and been taught in school about a mel. It's not a mel is not what a Jewish king is. So again here you got to make a recalculation. It's something very different. What's different about a king? So that in the first chapter here Moshe taught us that the purpose of a Jewish king is twofold. one to instill in the Jewish people humility and subservience to God. In Hebrew, Bal leus that we should kind of empty ourselves of yeseshas, of ego, of arrogance, from the from the most uh rough and tough arrogance TO THE MOST REFINED ARROGANCE. And when we and how is a king able to do that? Because a Jewish king himself has that. Well, that's what a Jewish king should have. Iser is not here today, but yesterday before this year, Iser asked me a good question. He says, he says, here we talk about what a Jewish king is. If you look in Jewish history, just follow the prophets and you see how how wicked many of the Jewish kings were. So where is this humility and subservience for God if they put up idols in the temple or they killed certain the kohanim the priests and other other things that Jewish kings did throughout Tanakh which is terrible atrocities. So I explained to him those kings weren't living with the message of real kingship as is explained here. Unfortunately, remember the rule. Remember the rule means you guys the rule is God doesn't take away a person's free will. I DON'T CARE WHO IT IS. Because as soon as you take away free will, you're not a person. Remember I told you that of the famous that if a person god forbid loses their money they're still a person because money is come here come there up and down one day you have the next day you don't and the third day you have again right so your humanity you retain even if god forbid you you lose your money what about if you lose your health god forbid then says you're only a half of a person in Yiddish. Mench, there's a mench, a a person. Hal means half mench. So if you lose your money, you're still a person. If you lose your health, you're a half of a person. But if you lose your drive for life in Yiddish, you're moot, which is literally translated as mood. Mood. Your drive, your mood. If you you lose YOUR MOOD, YOUR DRIVE, YOUR ICE MCH, YOU'RE NO LONGER A PERSON. And we have to I'm I'm telling you, if we live with this, we can accomplish till the end of our lives tremendous things with happiness. You got to put things in perspective. money, health, drive here, I would say is adding maybe a fourth nuance and that is free will. He doesn't say directly. I'm extrapolating. Every person has free will. If if free will is stripped from a person, he's also not a mench. He's no longer a human being. You hear that? So regardless of who the human being is, whether it be someone who is considered, you know, no good, wicked or abony or sadic OR RIGHTEOUS, MAKES NO DIFFERENCE WHO IT IS. Free will is a truism. It transcends your pocketbook. It transcends your character. Free will. So since free will is a chuism here the question is here the question is this king WHO HAS FREE WILL DOES he live with commitment to God subservience TO GOD IS HE WILLING TO PUT ASIDE his ego I remind you of a story that I told you a real life experience just to bring out a point in the 1980s8s 68788 I forget which year there was an election in Crown Heights for who should be the the rabbis the best okay because the old Raim passed away in 85 or 86 and now it's time for elections so different people wanted different people you know but there's a there's the community so they took they took a vote and ultimately They they chose the the rabbis. But there was a meeting in 770 and one particular rabbi who came from kabad pedigree going back a 100red years and who was a genius in Torah including knowing the zor. I mean he was gifted but his power of speech was terrible. It was you know there was no aator or speaker and he was veryidic and many felt that he's not the right person for the job. Anyway, the different candidates had a chance to speak in 770 to the co to the community and it became clear that meeting that there they were not going to choose him and abruptly he walks off the deas and leaves and leaves 770 in front of everyone and it was very clear to everyone he's very perturbed. Here's a person who is really a a genius in Torah and a person who is really unassuming, but when you push the right button, ego came out. A certain amount of ego came out. I I'm saying it not to, God forbid, badmouth him. I'm just the point. You never know where that little mouse is within yourself that comes out when the cat chases the mouse. Where is my little mouse? MANY TIMES WE CAN HIDE THAT little mouse with this big beard and this yamaka and my checkbook and my good character and my and it's all true. BUT SOMEONE JUST pushes if they get to push the right button the mouse comes out and that's true by a king too says that said that that a Jewish king's m his imotus operande should be and what from God's perspective is emptying yourself of ego getting rid of ego that's a melro and when he displays that he can then instill that same quality of humility and subservience to God in all the subjects in the Jewish people. Now, if you could find me one Zar, one monarch, one president, and one rabbi that that lives with what I just said, I'll give you a medal. But anyway, that's the nuda. You remember my other story when I started when I started to study the topic of reincarnation about 20 25 years ago here in Brooklyn and I was looking for a guide a mentor because in yeshiva we didn't learn that we learned we didn't learn writings of the which is more on the cabala strand so you look for a teacher who knows that so I asked around so they told me about two people so I went to I spoke spoke to the first one. He lived in another neighborhood and he spoke down at me and when I hung up I said thank God I didn't lay it into him because but he he deserved a good a good laying in you know I'm calling you you could say I don't want to help you you could you know be not but he spoke so down like you know he is this king and I am I'm a nothing then I then I spoke to someone else locally who invited me, taught me, spoke to me. You know, he so ble humility is is a difficult thing and there are people who who can hide their non-bital or their aggressive yesesh self and then and and and by others it's obvious, by others it's not. But but the bottom line is that's what a king is. SO THAT'S THE FIRST POINT THAT the made about a king. The reason for having a king, why God says in the Torah, when you come to the land of Isel, appoint yourself a king, get a king. It's to bring humility and subservience for God into the Jewish people as they excuse me, as they settle now the land of Israel. The second reason is a simple reason. You drive over the speed limit, you're getting a ticket. If there wasn't civil court and small claims court, people would rip themselves, rip off each other. They rip off each other anyway. But you know what I'm saying? You need law and order, Mark. You need law and order. A king's job is one of his jobs is to create law and order. Okay? So that's a very very kind of nonspiritual issue but a but but yet necessary law and order. That's the second reason for a king that we learned in the first chapter of this discourse. Now the second chapter he starts speaking about king David. So who is the king? Who's the ultimate Jewish king? I told you not Saul not shame melik and not even Solomon. Even though Solomon Melik was the one that built the temple. Why? What does it say in Tanakh? Why didn't David bring the build to the temple? That's the quote. You You spilled too much blood. You the WARS THAT YOU HAD, DAVID, WERE JUSTIFIED AND NECESSARY. But the bottom line is you killed people. You have you had So, not that he had he had blood on his hands. That's the expression in a negative way. You're a murderer. NO, BUT THE FACT IS THAT YOU WERE INVOLVED IN IN IN WAR. And the BA mikdash is a place of shalom. Peace. Peace is accomplishing the same thing not through war. Therefore you, Hashem says the name of the prophet says name of of of Hashem you David won't build the temple but rather your son Schlommo which is associated with the name shalom peace wholesomeness he will build the temple. Parenthetically, another thought comes to me just for a moment. In leadership, certain people are cut out to be the shalom and certain people are cut out to be the fighters. And guess what? You need both. WHAT SHALOM CAN ACCOMPLISH, THE FIGHTER CAN ACCOMPLISH. WHAT THE FIGHTER can accomplish, the shalom can't accomplish. It's very seldom that you can accomplish both together. I'll tell you a person a personal uh experience. When I was a Kabad rabbi in Marin County from 1984 to '92, we had I've mentioned this many times. We had great opposition to establish a shul in a residential area like Zev had in in Baltimore. I had it in Marin County. And I had to be a fighter. If I wasn't a fighter, there would be no sh today. I promise you. because they tried shutting us down and they got the video cameras and we went to court for three years on and on and on and on and on. My congregants, you know, fine people, but they came TO HAVE A QUIET LIFE IN MARIN COUNTY. You know, the Jews of the East escaped to the west. California, Arizona. Hill was is laughing. He can relate to it. you know, New Mexico, Arizona. You know, I said, "Get away from Brooklyn and then Philadelphia and Chicago and Baltimore and the inner cities who living out with the with nature and everything else." And here comes this 23-year-old 25 year old lab from 770 and he's not letting the people who oppose Kabad and oppose Ashulo do what they want and he's standing up to them. That's called a rabble rouser. Just quiet down. So, we'll we'll meet we'll meet we'll meet in a little in a little gazebo, you know, and we'll just uh you know, we'll just be not noticeable and quiet and and that's it. I said, "For that, you don't need me. You hired me to be a rabbi and a leader and to to to grow this congregation, not to be in a little uh one room apartment, you know, years later." So, so the balabatin some my congregants they they were perturbed. They they they didn't like it. They understood where I'm coming from and they understood why it's necessary. But, you know, all of a sudden, you become the highlight. YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET. OH, you belong to the Kabad. You belong to the congregation. You're amongst the people that's fighting us. this 538 planned community up the road from George Lucas's light film and light industrial uh place where he made Star Wars and everything else was up the road and that's why it was called Lucas road and of course we called it Lucis road the law the road of the tablets the lice but anyway so years later I was speaking to one of the my congregates former congates when I They left Marin and he said, "Rabbi, if you didn't fight them, we would never have a shul." And this IS A PERSON WHO OPPOSED ME, WHO FOUGHT ME, WE REMAINED FRIENDS, BUT YOU KNOW, he disagreed. And years later, he said, "I see it was necessary." So, but nevertheless, fighting is fighting. When you're fighting, you get dirty. You cannot fight and not get dirty. Then there's another experience we talk about the which is all about shalom where somehow he accomplishes certain things through a peaceful manner but the but there are areas which he doesn't get to because he's not a fighter. So I say this because when we talk here about the king the mel is we talk about David because we're about to talk about David's kingship and we say David King David we're talk we're making a big deal about the king David he is the king the Davidic dynasty why didn't he build a temple so it says in because you have you spill too much blood. BUT YOU GOD, YOU TOLD ME TO DO THAT. I know. But the bottom line is I need a temple that's peaceful, that transcends fights. And this is a very interesting uh I'm going to say oxymoron, but it's it's an interesting uh what's the word? The quagmire, you know, it's an interesting issue. Listen to this. In order to get to A PEACEFUL TEMPLE OF SOLOMON, you need David as A PRELUDE TO FIGHT A WAR TO FIGHT WARS. You can't come TO THE TO THE TEMPLE OF SOLOMON UNLESS YOU GO THROUGH DAVID. And that's that's that's that's exactly what I experienced that there wouldn't be Ashabar in Marin County in in where we were at the time if NOT FOR SOMEONE WHO FOUGHT THEM. It wouldn't happen. You could stand on YOUR HEAD, JUMP UPSIDE DOWN, do all the Listen, Hashem could do anything, right? We know that. If I speaking about Hashem could do anything. I told you this too, just to remind you. There was one woman for the community there, community association, you know, they have a community association in in in these groups, you know, just like you have a board of vad and things like that in there in Israel in in your communities. Anyway, she was always ratting on us. So if we rented the communion facility for Kipper and Kaneka because we we didn't have room in our facility and people came from throughout Marin. So, we had 150 people and we couldn't fit them in. So, we rented a larger community room and it had a beautiful pool and it had little pebbles. And after the the next day after Yumpt when the the the weekly bulletin came out for the 530 people homes living Yeah. everyone got it. It said IN NICE BIG WORDS, KABAD'S KIDS, KIDS OF THE KABAD THREW STONES INTO THE POOL, rocks into the pool. They stepped on the flowers. You know, now it might be true. The kids threw some stones in the pool and some people did by mistake step on flowers. What? But what are you highlighting it? So come to me, say, "Let's work it out." you know, you want to clean it up, you want to pay for it, you know, but go going into the, you know, it was a way that she was was constantly, weakly almost, you know, pointing out negative stuff because ultimately they were upset that we were in the neighborhood. And I told my father, those that have met my father or seen him online, because I've had now 57 interviews with him, they're in Yiddish, but just looking at his mannerisms, you you'll you'll enjoy at least one of them. Take a moment. Anyway, look at them. So, my father is a Romanian Jew from Europe. You know, he doesn't mince words. So, I told him about the the Turus that this lady's making me. And I that week I went into New York for what I had to owe to New York and um Sunday we saw the Reb was giving out dollars for saddaka. So my father came with me and I wouldn't open my mouth to the Reb you know that's not something you know it's not normally what I did what most did but my father from a different time in a different place he did. So he says to the Reb, "My son is having terrible problems with his shool." He said it in Yiddish to the Reb and the Reb gave a dollar and gave a braha that everything should work itself out. I don't remember now the exact language. I think I have it on a video somewhere. That was Sunday. I flew back on Tuesday or Wednesday to California. I think it was Wednesday. Yeah. And I got off the plane and someone told me, one of my kinds told me or my or my sister Rabbi told me that this lady, 44 years old, had a massive heart attack yesterday and dropped it. That Eba didn't curse her. That Eba didn't put any spells on her. And you could take it. I'm telling you what happened. You could take it now. She was a smoker. So, you're gonna say that she had a massive heart attack from cigarettes? Maybe. Maybe. But I know that she was 44 and healthy. Healthy. Why am I saying this? What I'm saying is that that when we talk about uh a king and we talk about someone has to stand up, standing up, Hashem recognizes what needs to be done. HE'S LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO STAND UP. what Eric's role what the IDF did you know post October 7th should you know they needed to do that why do you need to do that protect yeah it's you pou spilled a lot of blood a lot of innocent people were killed kids others yes now you can argue they were they you know they're also against Israel, they're also brainwashed. I'm not I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying it's necessary. At the same time, that person doesn't build the temple. Who builds the temple? Muhammad. And I think in our life, we need to especially in relationship, husband and wife, siblings and you know, all kinds of relationships. A good team is when you have the two kinds. One is a fighter and one is passive. And if they could work together and understand each other and come away with a game plan, you can accomplish the best of both worlds. And it's not an easy task because two people who are really, you know, one this nature, one that nature, one's a fighter, one's not, you know, you'll ask probably most and matchmakers, they'll tell you they shouldn't get together. And I say not necessarily. It depends if the people have humility. You have humility at one time one gives in, the other time the other person gives in. It can be the best of the both worlds. Anyway, this is we didn't learn inside any today, but um we did speak about some very important ideas. So tomorrow, even though it's a fast day, it's the 17th of Thomas, the start of the three weeks. So, um, if you're buying any new clothes, do it today and put them on so that you could, uh, wear them, unless you have a different ruling from your rabbi. Um, because even if you buy clothes during the 3 weeks that you, there's a sale, which you're allowed to buy, um, you know, clothes, but you're not allowed to wear them, as far as I know, until after the three weeks. So, you're allowed to purchase for the until the nine days. Um maybe you know I'm not talking about socks and undergarments cuz that's not really talking about a shirt, pants, you know a jacket. So things like that. Um if you plan on doing that then your family, your wife and kids uh encourage them to do it today. But the is we should have an easy fast and we should see mashiach. We shouldn't have to fast but we will learn tomorrow. And uh anyone have any questions or comments? Alan Caim, how did you did you follow everything I said or forget about everything? Did you follow what I said? >> I followed it great and I really appreciate it. >> Good. The the way to appreciate is to come back tomorrow. Anyway, >> I'm remembering the year when we when you were when you were here and we traveled on Shibasamos with Abi Dubler to Shilo. >> Oh, that was Shibasamos. I remember the going there. Oh, that was amazing. Did you go with us? Did you go with us? >> No, >> no, not not in that. >> Oh, that was that was a wonderful Yeah, that was a very nice thing that Avi did. Yeah, that was my only time I was there. Um anyway, very very memorable. >> Very memorable. Anyway, very very soon Msiah is coming. We'll all be together with everyone else and and we'll be able to go freely throughout the country and and and just enjoy. Anyway, have a great day everyone. We'll see you tomorrow. Zazoom. Shalom. Byebye.