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Discovering the Feminine Torah - By Rabbi YY Jacobson
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In the Tanach, it’s the women who make the big decisions. This women's lecture was presented by Rabbi YY Jacobson on Sunday, 21 Sivan, 5778, June 4, 2018, for Mikvah Israel in Kew Gardens Hills, Queens, NY.
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
the yeshiva dotnet they tell the
anecdote about a 65 year old fellow who
went for a check-up by the doctor just a
general examination and the doctor
scrutinizes him and after an hour where
the doctor says you're like a teenager
you have the heart of an 18 year old you
have the health of a 20 year old
incredible incredible in your 65 Wow
this is something special inspiring and
it would be interesting to know how long
did your father live for how old was he
when he died the man looks at him and
says what would make you think that my
father is dead he says Oh your father is
alive Wow how old does he says my father
is 86 and he goes skiing every week he
goes skiing he goes surfing he's in the
gym for two hours a day
he runs the marathon he does Pilates
Wow the doctor says 86 that's incredible
how old was his father when he died this
is what makes you think
that his father is dead since what his
father's also a lobbyist absolutely he's
a hundred and four years old and he
opens the store every morning seven
o'clock he's in the grocery store
he stands all day in the store then at
night he goes for an exercise he's a
personal trainer as well he says Wow but
this is a hundred and sixty so this is
absolutely and let me that's what he's
getting married next week
really he's getting mad 106 like why
does he want to get married at 106 is
who says he wants to his mother is
pressuring him the fact the fact remains
I just got it the fact remains that in
Judaism we have a soul
we have a safe a Torah the crown jewel
of a shoe if you could put your cell
phones on vibrate sender my regards and
then put it on vibrate please I enjoy
Mozart but not when I speak the fact
remains that in Jewish law the Jewish
community is obligated to sell every
Shore and to sell every Torah scroll if
there is no mikvah in town in other
words the shoe lenders safe a Torah have
to be solved if there's no three source
of money in order to make sure that
there's a mythical why because in
Judaism the shul is of course critically
important but it pales in comparison to
the sanctity of the home and of the
bedroom where the future of Jewish
civilization is created and primarily
through the one responsible most for the
perpetuating of the Jewish people the
Jewish woman I remember a few years ago
it was a sad Friday for my family as we
said goodbye to my 94 year old
grandmother now my grandmother was a
Russian lady a refugee saved herself and
her family from Stalin's regime came
over to Poland after the war and
ultimately made it to the United States
of America she raised a large family and
she died a number of years ago at the
age of 94 Methodist Hospital the next
morning the next afternoon Friday was
her funeral and they buried her in the
Montefiore Cemetery in Queens not very
far from here my grandmother was a short
frail lady feisty and tough but short
and frail and it was raining and they
interred her into her resting place and
her children set the cottage and as I
walked back out of the cemetery I took a
look and I saw more than 300 descendants
leaving the cemetery and I thought to
myself here is where you see the power
of history the power of eternity when
she was raising those kids day in day
out they don't have to preach to you
what you experienced more than anything
else is the restlessness the exhaustion
the ear aches the viruses sometimes the
impossible husband another baby to deal
with
was a Jewish couple celebrating their
50th anniversary and she gets up and
says I want to make a toast of myself
for sticking it out with him for 50
years and I want to tell you that the 50
years went by like two days there was
one nudnik in the crowd you know what a
nudnik is yeah they have any NQ
Cardinals they have literally my
grandmother used to say there are three
types of Jews Lamia slaw mazels and
Rudnick's the schlemiel pours the soup
on the schlemazel and the nudnik wants
to know what type of soup wasn't every I
speak to audiences around the world
every audience excluding this one has a
nudnik
so this look Nick raises his hand and
says excuse me ma'am why do you say that
your marriage 50 days went by like two
days why don't you say it went by like
one day told you he was a nudnik she
says because aren't married for 50 years
has been like two days tisha boven Yom
Kippur - toughest days in the Jewish
calendar but as you're building your
family as you're building your life it's
very hard to see the big picture
the famous Defense Minister of Israel
some of you remember Moshe Dayan had a
patch on his eye his ones driving on an
Israeli Highway 150 km/h which in Israel
is not that fast and a policeman stops
him and says you Diane you should serve
as a role model for Israeli society
I thought I had come on my show guy
you're driving like a madman I'm going
to quadruple your summons you ought to
know better and Moshe Dayan says my dear
officer look at me I have one eye now
what would you like me to do with this I
look at the speedometer a look at the
highway
I'm not sure whether you got a ticket or
didn't get it they're not gonna be a
nudnik and ask the question but the
inset is an important insight because in
life we often focus on the speedometer
my day-to-day routine activities and
that's what life is made up of life is
comprised of the nuances and the details
and the pressures daily right now as I'm
talking you'll soon be texting about one
of some of those issues but at that
moment as she returned her soul to its
maker and the earth swallowed her up
that final moment of truth
suddenly one could see a window into the
power of history a summation of 94 years
and you see the incredible impact the
incredible power of one short frail
Jewish woman who never lost vision who
maybe not only saw the speedometer but
also the highway and that's why in
Judaism you have to sell ashore and sell
even a safer Torah if there's no
microphone there's not enough money
because Judaism understood that the
synagogue is not the center of Yiddish
kind it's not where life happens
it's where men get attention which is
fine not a bad thing and Shabbos morning
you send them out it's a good thing
it's not a bad thing but that's not
where the essence of life happens the
essence of life happens in the kitchen
in the dining room and of course in the
living room and of course in the
refrigerator the pantry and of course
the bedroom and that's what the maker
represents and you know senator joseph
Lieberman I mentioned remember he was
running with Al Gore remember as ticket
Al Gore president joseph Lieberman vice
president first time a Jew might have
been vice president of the United States
of America somebody I asked somebody was
the difference between Trump and the
Reform Jews an answer as he as Jewish
grandchildren so Lieberman go Al Gore
lost he lost okay so he decided to take
on global warming and obviously
Lieberman also lost
running as vice president they say that
home that night he came home to his wife
her name is Hadassah happened to Noah
Darcy Lieberman and she greets him by
the door and he's despondent he's
dejected you know he lost they put up a
heavy fight he thought he might become
vice president then he lost and she
looks at images dog Joe you don't have
to be despondent in this home you will
always be vice president
I was I was giving I was giving a
lecture the other day there was somewhat
of a different crowd and one of the
women asked me why is it that Orthodox
Jews see women as second-class citizens
I said sure meet my mother-in-law meet
my mother meet my wife sure I don't know
where you're living I really don't know
where you're living she says it's a fact
in Judaism it's very male oriented it's
always the male's that make the
decisions
I said listen the basics of Judaism is
the Hebrew Bible the Torah I said you
come with me to the Bible and you tell
me objectively and honestly who makes
the big decisions in life was once a
couple who came to Arab where they were
having marital problems remedied what's
the problem the husband said we got
married 12 years ago we made a deal the
deal was I make the big decisions she
makes a small decision she made that
deal and it's not happening that way so
the rabbi turns to the wife and says why
not she says well he didn't understand
what I meant the big decisions I want
him to make for example what do we do
about a situation in the Middle East
what do we do about global warming what
do you do about North Korea what do you
know about Russia what do you do about
Isis what do you do about fundamentalist
Islam what we do a global warming these
are big decisions these decisions my
husband makes and he could tell her in
Netanyahu what to do with I read and
tell Trump what to do with China and the
rest of the world that I don't mix up
the small decisions for example where we
live how much money I spend on the
credit card every hour how many pairs of
shoes I own where we send our kids to
school which shall we don't step foot
into small inconsequential insignificant
decisions these I make and he does not
mix into it well listen to this you'll
open up a hummus
just go through safe operations and
you'll see that this joke is not a joke
all the small decisions God lets the men
make all the big decisions never for
example who decided that Adam should eat
from the tree of knowledge it's a pretty
big decision the same one who till still
tells their husbands what to eat them
what not be
not much has changed and he still says
what do you want my wife made the kugel
what do you want I thought it was
healthy I didn't know she meant it for
the guests Adam said the same thing
Ayesha what do you want for me if I
haven't put it on the table what am I
supposed to do pretty big decision that
decision changed history a man did not
make it why did the snake go to other he
was sleeping I'm sure he was sleeping he
was sitting on the couch and sleeping
she was up see went to her Wow snakes
told they don't go to men they sleep
pretty big decision
who decided for example that you small
should be expelled from our alma Vino's
home
it's cook should be there pretty big
decision in affected history the Arabs
still don't forgive us for it who
decided that none of Roma V no sorrow
and I've run was upset and I Shem gave
him the eternal commandment 11th
commandment coil our chateau Marilla saw
sorrow
Sh'ma bacala whatever sorrow tells do
you listen not this whatever she tells
you you see my mother trade me well no
my wife my mother and my frigate
who decided that a sub is not getting
the brothers that Yakov is getting the
blessings pretty big decision who
decided that
not yet stuck and not Yaakov and I love
Rome rifki good old rifka and who
decided who decided that it's time to
bring in a new generation from Lights
pretty risqué business his daughters he
was drunk he was at the kiddush clock he
didn't know what hit him
he was drunk they the ones who brought
in more of an almond which became the
fathers of Roose and ultimately the
grandma she was the great grandmother of
David I'm Alison schleimann mushiya and
who decided that it's time for you hood
to have a child from tomorrow who
decided he he didn't know what hit him
it was her Tamar and who came from that
parrots and Zara parrots the
great-grandfather of boas and of or even
Anna Vissi NF Nova den of Seligman of
material and who decided that little
baby Moses Marsh who was put into a
basket of the Nile River facing the
ultimate destiny of most Jewish babies
at the time would be retrieved and saved
and raised in the palace to stage the
greatest revolution of history and mold
his people into God's nation who decided
that a woman and not even a Jewish woman
an Egyptian princess by the name of
Bhatia and so the Tanakh continues you
could do the rest of the homework
yourself I asked this lady I said now
you be objectively honest with me and
tell me the truth who makes the small
decisions in commerce and who makes the
big decisions and how much the small
decisions they let them men make they
needed for their egos but when it comes
to historic decisions when it comes to
the highway not to the speedometer
somehow do your boyish a loyal them
entrusted this into the hands of women
but why why is this and the answer is
because Tara has two dimensions to it
when we want to describe the woman in
Asian style proverbs chapter 31 before
kids remember PR puska become of asuras
Casa della Shayla the woman opens her
mouth with wisdom and the treasure of
kindness is on her tongue my Lackey the
probably Malathi describes the tire in
generally and he says in the masculine
toy or SMS horrible feel in his mouth
was a turn of truth this datura of truth
and is the tire of kindness two
dimensions of yiddish kind distress ms
and this toy is essence the soy rust-eze
said alice joy no toy or SMS hyah beefy
who washings occur in the mask now go
through the whole Tana what's mentioned
first acid or Emma
let's start with the 13 attributes of
mercy Hashem Hashem Corral can become an
Erica PI in morale has said the MS
Eliezer comes to su l he's looking for a
sugar for its cup he says I say Amy do
with me has said for MS Yaakov Aveeno
asks Yosef to take him out of Egypt he
does do with me has said the MS
throughout the entire turnoff
yes it always precedes Emma's tehilim
has said the MS NIV gosh who said that
with Shalom Masha qu kindness and truth
have met justice and peace have kissed
Tess said before Emma's now you
understand why when it comes to the
giving of the Torah Sam tells moisture
clay soil Marla Bais Yaakov the saga
dilemma is wrong
why did search near a hundred years ago
in 1917 decide to name the first girls
institutions of Torah learning in
history as far as we know base Yakko why
not base sorrow bass riff goodbye
struggle by SIA
Benoist sounds by sana buys whatever
base Yaakov it's because of the scene by
Matt and Tara sham said coach Omar
labeija
masajid live now Israel speak to the
house of Yaakov and then to the sons of
Israel asks rashly who is the house of
Yaakov a Lujan notion the house of
Yaakov other women then speak to the men
in other words Hashem told my sure you
first teach women before men
because hasit precedes Emma's Taurus
Cassatt precedes terrorists servants
what's the difference
Toyota SMS is true but it often focuses
on details on nuances on intricacies ask
your son when you come on what he learnt
in yeshiva today and you'll hear what
I'm telling you details nuances
intricacies which are critical which are
important but the feminine experience of
Tyre is one that often picks up and
articulates the kindness the compassion
the empathy the love the spirituality
the depth of Yiddish guides
I was recently in Israel a Jew from Bnei
Brak tells me the following story
there were many Jewish kids left orphans
after the Holocaust and the pandava tier
of man named ripslinger Yosef conman
Zetas addict lavrova reviews of
Kahneman built orphanages in Bnei Brak
to raise these orphans in fact he was a
well-known famous and very successful
fundraiser he himself lost his family in
the war he was away he was fundraising
and he came from Pune vision the little
earth away near they were wiped out and
he rebuilt not only his life but he
rebuilt Parnevik and many institutions
of Bnei Brak and roof Kahneman was a
very very special and wise man he went
fundraising to south africa south
african community had many luther wainy
and jews so this was a good place for
him to fundraise for his institutions in
Israel and Archie straw and he once went
to a Jew in South Africa who was very
anti religious and he comes to him and
he says I'm raising these orphans and
bnei brak and I desperately need money
this is the 1950s and the Jew says I
will give you 1 million dollars u.s.
dollars in the 1950s but one condition
I don't want you to stuff religion down
the throat of those kids I will give you
a million dollars if you accept an oath
that none of those are
friends will be wearing yarmulkes and
none of them will be wearing citrus if
you commit you have a million dollars
Parnevik sheriff said no problem you
have my commitment and he gives him his
hand he comes out with a million dollars
but a student says yep
how could you honor such an untruth what
if he comes to visit this is gonna be a
disaster
he's gonna see exactly what's happening
what everybody says don't worry I don't
lie he went and he built them orphanage
for girls none of them were yarmulkes
and none of them warts it's us I called
a Kluge he understood what you have to
do these girls grew up and this was
their home their friends they had
counselors that might record that makan
hot he advocated them he fed them he
nurtured them he gave them a place to
her they had no father's no mothers they
old of children parents were killed in
the Holocaust I'm gonna tell you a story
here's what happened and yes you will
understand the difference between
terrorists Ms aunt iris custards a
little bit of a painful story to say but
it happens so often it's called people
who just don't get it and in order for
you to appreciate my story to tell you
another story I don't die grass I
extrapolate
there was a portion or a poor man and he
was hungry and he comes to the house of
a wealthy man and he says I need some
food food I haven't eaten in two days
he reminds there was a woman in Beverly
Hills she walks out of her 14 million
dollar mansion and a homeless guys just
I haven't eaten in three days man man
please she says wow I'm so jealous of
you I wish I had such willpower
it's called narcissists are narcissists
say how do you drown a narcissist you
put mirrors on the bottom of the ocean
in any case this man comes to this
wealthy man he says I haven't eaten in a
few days please give me some I don't
feed snores you go to shul go go find
some bum it's rattles he says I can go
anywhere I haven't eaten I'm going to
collapse give me something from the
garbage it's from the garbage I'll give
you he takes us from the garbage
leftovers from Shabbos some fish salty
horrible fish decadent fish that was
thrown to the garbin he gives it to this
man and the poor guy hasn't eaten in a
while so he gobbles up the fish within
nine seconds it's down his esophagus but
the fish was so salty and decadent and
tasteless and horrific he collapsed he's
taken to the hospital so this man comes
home to his wife and he says you know I
have a big mitzvah to do tonight
remember the guest that we had over whom
I fed fish never he fell ill and is a
great mitzvah called bicker :
because column have to visit the sick ok
I'm going the next day tells his wife
today is a busy day you know our guest
who never fell ill he died is a big
mitzvah to go to a funeral have to go to
a funeral
the next day tells his wife there's a
big mitzvah called nickim avail and he
left children I have to go pay a Shiva
call he comes home from the Shiva call
smiling from ear-to-ear his wife never
saw him so happy in 25 years since I'm
Yankel why is so happy why is so happy I
have to say this in Yiddish and then
I'll translate because you dishes just
Yiddish ask your grandmother you did
just just get it so he says how could I
not be happy give our Cookeville mitzvah
superb Cataumet aim for stinking ethical
fish how can I not be happy see how many
mitzvahs I committed through one
decadent salty horrible piece of fish
four of the greatest mitzvahs I can also
saw him bicker
Alvaro's amazed and nickim available
this is called somebody in the extreme
who doesn't get it somebody who thinks
he's very religious but he doesn't get
it somebody there are bank calls and
purchase toship novel bearish or satire
a degenerate with the permission of Tyra
there's no terrorist asset so here's the
story these orphans are growing up in
Bnei Brak Friday night they're eating
together what do they do after the meal
or middle of the meal Friday night
they're singing songs they have a
neighbor the neighbor is a very
religious fellow living in maan a Brack
he comes running to the Puna Vetrov
after Shabbos and he says this is
impossible you know what I have to do
Friday night I gotta listen to these
girls singing it's a modest it's an
appropriate plan according to Luca you
got it tell the girls to speak and not
sink the punter future of says what do
you want me to do these are girls at
Shabbos this is their home this is their
family they sing what should I tell them
he says well I live nearby what am I
supposed to do what am I supposed to do
tell them not to say they can eat and
schmooze and go to sleep and go read
they shouldn't sing the pond overture of
said I can't tell that to them and he
decided that he has to take this
question to the coziness and he goes to
the coziness and he presents think when
he starts presenting the question he
tells the story
there's the orphanage for girls and have
a neighbor and the girls Friday night I
have a meal and you know they start
singing they sing he didn't even finish
the story the cousin ish interrupted him
and said wow they think these girls are
singing already that's so incredibly
moving
they found it within themselves to be
able to discover their music to be able
to reignite their hope their joy that is
the best piece of news
I have her in a long time the Pandava
Jadhav didn't even finish he didn't even
finish the question
now of course if this man was so holy he
could have gone to shul and learned for
3-4 hours till 2:00 in the morning and
come home but that's the point sometimes
people think they're in touch with Terra
but they're devoid of tourist assets
they lack the love the empathy and if
there's any Mitzvah any part of you
despite that doesn't bespeak love
empathy creativity respect for
individuality and the mission to empower
people the person is divorced from one
of the most essential messages of
Judaism and that's why before you learn
terrorists MS you have to learn to rest
Tessa because if not you're supposed
truth can become distorted by personal
bias by selfishness by a sense of holier
than thou by some type of spiritual
pompous 'no sand arrogance and a person
becomes divorced from the essential
powerful message of all of Judaism and
thus Hashem tells moisture so Marla base
Yaakov Wasaga the B'nai Israel and where
do you see it more than in that
incredible story which has perplexed
everybody
until today 3000 years later 3,300 years
later it's hard to understand what
happened
what exactly happened how is it that my
sharavino sends 12 spies Kulemin Asham
is Akshay Kumar you the great spiritual
Giants of the generation to scout the
land and suddenly they see Giants and
they see fortresses and they sees armies
and they see fortified cities and they
come home
frightened discouraged and they persuade
the entire nation that the journey to
the Holy Land is impossible FSG Azam
learning nuchal alloys key Kazakh who me
men who as we learned this week in
bearish la what happened they saw that
the greatest empire of the time the
Egyptian Empire was brought to its knees
through moisha and Aaron's leadership
they saw it they saw the plagues this
was not a generation that came at a
later point in history that heard
stories or read them in books they saw
it with their eyes and that twenty years
before they saw just one year earlier
they saw it
how did they become so intimidated so
overwhelmed so discouraged so full of
panic and fright and terror you just saw
what happened at the sea you just saw
what happened at the mountain
you just ate breakfast for breakfast you
just had mama where did it come from you
just drank water and used for a mikvah
this strange Miriam well that was coming
with you rollin with you what what
happened to these people and what is
even more difficult to understand is the
national hysteria that they managed to
create and yet there was one demographic
of Jews who were completely unmoved by
the terror of the spies and they are the
Jewish women which is why people you
know the origin of the sitter's crisis
do you know the origin of the shitless
crisis all Talya
all the entire generation between 20 and
60 died in the desert right only the men
do you know that none of the women died
they all went in territory strossen you
understand what was happening over the
in the first generation that's my theory
that's my thought such a bad theory so
the myth the women were moved by this
hysteria now let's face it they came
down and they said Loomis loo we're
gonna die we and our wives and our
children are all gonna die by sword when
we face the mighty empires in Egypt the
mothers should have been the first one
to panic
that's a fact when there's a mouse on
your counter who panics when there's a
roach or a rat you have them in Queens
you don't borrow her she'll okay who
panics yeah I once my wife called me
once I said st you're bigger and you're
stronger it didn't help somehow it
didn't help
yeah but here the women were unmoved
they're fine we'll go Texas no not only
that declare your car the car you lived
in the 1600s this is a lot of years
before feminism you can look it up the
clay ochre says says in Bush Marsh la
flesche amtel's moisture slack look Oh
an awesome so rashly says what's look
our Luddite huh
I'm not telling you to do this this is
on your own so the clay yucca says
something very powerful
he says moisture came to your boyish
Elohim and said I want to send spies who
do you want to send Hashem said he's so
gonna take 12
kevrah some said no you said only women
only women Marsha said sir posish it's
not gonna work
Hashem said I'm telling you don't send
men send women that's what the clay ogre
says moisture argued so I should have
sex laughs look on awesome you want to
send men it's on you it's not on me if
you listen to me
send women Tara to zero that's what the
clay that you want to send men
no problem
don't come back to me and say because
they're crybabies the factors of child
birth would have been given to men right
it would have ended in the first
generation I could guarantee I can
guarantee you know the guy the guy his
wife was having a baby and he was
panicking she was screaming so he was
panicking the olden days you could smoke
in the halls and he's smoking and
running and I can't believe this is
crazy crazy
finally the nurse says Mazel Tov Mazel
Tov your wife had a girl Baruch Hashem
she won't have to go through what I'm
going through people see things from
that perspective here I don't mean to
bash man I'm a man and I like men my
father was a man etcetera
not so simple in this generation but in
any case I don't mean to bash men
they're wonderful people they're
wonderful people for things that they're
good at
but things they're good so the women
were unmoved and I want to tell you one
of the deepest stories about this comes
from the teachings of the ballot Anya
and he says as follows the spies were
not afraid of defeat they were afraid of
victory sometimes people are afraid to
lose listen what I'm telling you women
sometimes people are not afraid to lose
people are afraid to win I'll talk about
marriages for a moment I know it's a
topic maybe not of interest some of us
love to live a life of kvetching you
know why there's always somebody to
blame we're not always afraid to lose
we're sometimes afraid to win what would
life feel like if you had nothing to
connect about if you had nobody to blame
what would life feel like if you felt
completely free and empowered this is
called the consciousness of redemption
the godless has gotten to us over 2,000
years and sometimes we become meek and
weak and timid and we feel comfortable
in that position your kvetching great
wonderful you're complaining good you're
Jewish let's say tell them somebody
throws in a kosher restaurant the waiter
is going from table to table is anything
all right
you ever see Jews on airplanes
completely Restless I don't like flying
with Jews by the way I love Jews
I married a Jewish woman my mother's
Jewish I don't like flying with Jews
you know why Gentiles come for hours
before the flight and they sit in one
place throughout the flight and they
read the magazines in those seats dull
Jews come late and the more from the
later they come with all the respect
they come with Pecola and Pecola camp
echo and they open it's an hour flight
to Montreal for heaven's sake and the
opening of glove compartments they're
opening they go back and forth our
covers they think it's some conspirator
they go back and forth they open boom
boom boom boom the poor Gentile swears
that he's never gonna go on an L out
plane again tears and they open and open
and it goes back and forth
finally the flight attendant says the
whole plane is waiting for you would you
sit down right now and fasten your seat
belt he turns to his wife and says she's
a Nazi the Holocaust will not happen
again I will not sit down Jews are free
nobody's going to tell me what to do
that's how it is in fact the other day
somebody tells me there was a flight
going to Tel Aviv hello you ever win an
hour flight the deliverer come on Alex
lon so so this guy wanted to sleep 11
hours he wanted to sleep so he put up a
big sign near his seat and he wrote as
follows I dive administer don't ask me
for a minyan I dive admire if I do not
want to dive in chakras till I land in
Israel I don't have tylenol
I don't have homeopathic remedies I
don't have a sitter I don't have a
tiller I don't have tuna I don't have a
bull Cola I don't have that vo me
I don't know the schoolís of the bubble
Sally what you do when the plane and the
flight becomes turbulent
I have no Matthias Abner Hockley stroll
I have no reading material I have no
baby wipes
I have no diapers I don't have bottles I
don't have formulas I don't have
pacifiers I don't have baby food I have
nothing and he thought he thought he
dealt with the challenge he's gonna
sleep for 11 hours little did he know
Jews three minutes later somebody pokes
him a kid a kid but not only an hour
they wake you up in the ribs they put
you with the ribs like this they can't
say excuse me the ribs pull and he gets
up he's mad has redesigned the boy says
I read this sign we did again he says I
read it again what do you want this has
nothing to do with the sciences what do
you want said sadaqa for the vision it's
a fade there
so yeah
so you understand my friends not easy
sometimes people they're so used to
things being wrong and miserable that's
the way they operate what would it look
like if you can imagine that your
marriage was the best marriage in the
world and your relationship with your
children was the best relationship in
the world and live that way what do we
do then what do we do then I call my
sister what do I say life is great my
husband I'm crazy about it I'm crazy
about my kids so much like us my
daughter-in-law my son-in-law as a man
what would you do what would the
conversations look like what would you
talk about when you have coffee what
would you talk about face dashed in life
we're not always afraid of losing I tell
you one of the deep truths in life is
sometimes we're afraid of winning we're
afraid of success it's one of the
greatest tragedies of modern day Israel
what happened after the six-day war
they're still apologizing somebody asked
me how do you know what a Jew as I said
it's very simple when the drew makes a
fist you know what happens next a shot
knew but God to know goes I'll know okay
I'm sorry for living I'm sorry for
existence we're almost now on a win if
we lose Baruch Hashem we could catch if
we want what do we do now we feel like
we're aggressive and we're dominant and
we're controlling the only people that
wins and their victory is a loss they're
apologizing for winning this is the
Jewish psychology very complex and you
know it began with despise they weren't
afraid of losing you know the story
Israel once had a very bad economy today
Bart lemons better a number of years ago
the economy of Israel was lousy the
Knesset had a meeting what do you do so
an old Jew gets up he says I have an
idea let's learn from Japan and Germany
let's declare war against America
they'll wipe us out and then they'll
rebuild us into an economic superpower
look what they did to Germany look what
they did to Japan
an old Jew gets up in his sizes it's all
good or what happens if we win the war
the spies were not afraid of defeat they
were afraid of victory what was the fear
of victory what will happen in victory
what will happen in victory is very
simple and very profound now we're being
sustained by heavenly mama were being
sustained by a well of Miriam we're
surrounded by clouds of glory we have
motion Aaron and arm it's bringing us
the Word of God every single day no
worries no mortgage payments no tuition
payments no packing up for camp no
figuring out which seminary you're going
to get into all the stress when they
come into the land they have to build an
army they have Wars to fight they have
an economy to sustain they have a
society to build they have to start
planting grain harvesting grain they
have to start creating the agriculture
create farming create society create an
army and what will happen what will
happen if they're victorious is they
might lose their spiritual relationship
they might lose their divine mandate the
spies were holy men and they made a holy
mistake what was the mistake the mistake
was to quote the Madras miss avocadoes
Varro Julius lady rabbit Athena
Dearborn asylum wanted wish he creates
for him a home in the lower elements of
reality he wanted a fragment of heaven
to be brought down to earth he wanted we
should fashion our physical reality into
a divine abode he didn't want us to
escape into heaven he didn't want us to
live forever in clouds of glory he
wanted us to transform the physical into
spiritual and to create a kiss to
generate a kiss between heaven and earth
this was the holy mistake of the spies
they wanted to remain forever sheltered
in the cocoon of spirituality but the
ultimate objective of Judaism is to
transform the entire landscape of Earth
to reveal that the gosh he is
also routinely is and that the divine
isn't the physical as much as in the
spiritual and this is why the women did
not make that mistake of the spies
because one of the differences between
terrorists and mesentery yes it is tire
SMS can often be aloof and attacked
Taurus has said is always integrative
it's holistic
it sees the full picture and it never
detaches the spiritual from the physical
that's the reason I was once at a
conference it was a pretty intense
conference and somebody said you see
Judaism is very very against women I
said witty I said they're not in a
minyan the person tells to me they're
not in a minyan why don't you do I don't
you have them in a minyan I said most
women are so happy Shabbos to stay home
they read their magazines whatever it is
they drink their coffee they have to now
be in a minyan to just a way to get men
out of the house early as early as
possible and give them a real day of
Shabbos of rest the vacation but they
have the man sitting off the cop and
saying when is the food gonna be ready
that's what you need so the God made a
minyan you put them if we need a minyan
your chakras mentamide it as often as
possible
the Muslims do five times a day okay the
Orthodox do three times a day
the Reformed would only three times a
year that's why the marriages don't last
as long they would have a minyan three
times a day somebody said why by the
Orthodox is less divorce I say they have
three months of legal separation it's
called summer
three more who ever heard of such a
thing whatever I'm not gonna talk I'm
not gonna give I'm not gonna give you
all my heresy in one night but in any
case you understand the situation so she
says there's no minion either where were
we
let's make this clear what's the source
of a minion how do we know that ten Jews
make up a minion anybody knows you
remember from base Yakko from your gamma
and base Yakko
I don't mean to bring back nightmares so
I'll tell you how do we know how do we
know a minion the answer is the Gamora
says Ernest ss Magilla Hashem tells
motion wash la add masai how long will I
have to deal with a de carajás ice this
evil community
how many spies betrayed God ten and a
sham calls them on Aida a community from
here we learn that 10 Jews make up a
minion the entire source of a million
comes from despise now you understand
why women are not part of the minion
it's a sign of Honor every minion of 10
Jews is trying to rectify the community
of the spies that's where it comes from
that's the reason why is it that
according to Torah you don't give a
woman in alia some temples bus Mitzvah
you get an alia why don't girls get an
alia the answer is very very deep and
very simple what does the word alia mean
what does alia mean to go up to ascend
when do you have to go up if you're in a
lower place you have to go up the entire
raised on the Etra a feminine toy is
that earth is as heavenly as heaven that
God is not any less than the physical
than he isn't the spiritual that the
ultimate drama of existence happens by
revealing the divine within the physical
world and this debate goes on and
generations you see it even by the kheer
when the women donated for the Mishkan
mirrors what does Rashi say vehicle Baku
day what does Rashi say Moshe a man who
said I can't use these mirrors why
you remember hey Lois I only ate suhara
these mirrors were used to beautify
themselves to entice their husbands how
does it come to the Michigan
what does Hashem say a Luka Vivian a
lineman hot oil these mirrors are more
precious than anything and he turns them
into the kir the washing basin what was
the objective of the kir to wash their
hands and feet to sanctify themselves
what would be using to sanctify
themselves the mirrors that the women
were using to beautify themselves
Moisture said wah-wah-wah-wah-wah this
is a weird Judaism I'm screaming it's
the eighth Sahara and God is saying make
the kheer out of it this is how you have
kedusha here you have it what our Shem
was explaining to moisture is that you
don't understand in the world of your
Tyrel you look at this and you say this
is the 8th Sahara but for the woman not
only this 98 Zara
this is the holiest moment because the
body and the soul are one physical
intimacy is an expression of spiritual
intimacy that's why the mikveh becomes
the most sensual institution and Judaism
more important than this shul in the
cemetery will you go into spirituality
so the kheer becomes the source of
holiness that's why they don't wear a
yarmulke why don't women wear a yarmulke
one on girls wear a yarmulke it's not
fair then we go on rollercoasters
yeah we have to get the caps what a
yarmulke is two words you're a make ale
above our brains we have a yarmulke to
represent that above us is the divine
but the calling of feminine toy is that
your entire body is one yarmulke God is
not above you God is above you and
inside of you and you
so there's terrorists ms and this
terrorist asset one often focuses on
nuances intricacies details brought them
terrorist asset sees the big picture the
highway the love the warmth the
relationship the connection the intimacy
and by the way this can also explain a
little thing that happens in your
kitchen and that is you'll notice that
most men don't close their cabinets it's
very hard for them to close cabinets you
know that right they take out a plate
they take out a cup and the cabinets and
drawers always remain open at night
you're always closing cabinets and
drawers so there's that video that was
going around some of you probably saw it
it's one of these videos that those of
us who are busy watch so it's either my
videos or that african-american that
African American holy brothers videos
but he doesn't get to the spirituality
of it he makes a good point
doesn't a the spirituality of it now his
point is and he's right his point is I
forgot who it is but his point is that
we men were very very detailed oriented
there's a famous title of a book men are
waffles women are spaghetti waffles
every waffle is self-contained you know
what I mean like when you pour maple
syrup and a waffle you don't you never
allow it to go above them a pizza of the
waffle because it has to be
self-contained spaghetti every strand of
pastas intertwined and interconnected
with hundreds of other pieces of pasta
men's brains are like waffles women are
spaghetti like the world wide web
everything is interconnected with
everything so we are very very detailed
or inside I go to my cabinet I'm
thinking I need a cup and a plate I got
the cup in the plate I don't remember
that the cabinet is open just like I
don't remember my wife told me or we
could go take out the garbage I took out
the cup and the plate now I got to fill
up the cup and fill up the plate I don't
even have place in my hand to close the
cabinets
right because this is what I'm doing I
see the detail in front of me that says
the big picture I don't see it's very
hard for us to see the big picture we
see the prat
we don't see the clown in Judaism there
are protein there's details laws
hollowness infinite amount of details
that are vital critical is the essence
of Jewish life and Jewish law it's the
bloodline of the Jewish people and of
Jewish history but then there's Taurus
at the cloud the encompassing collective
and individual truths that define the
energy the ambience the message and the
power of of Judaism and you know
I was at a hope of the other day I was
officiating at a hapa and the couple was
a secular Jewish couple and there were a
few hundred secular Jews sitting at the
Kaaba and those are always great
opportunities to be able to bequeath
some fundamentals of Yiddish guides to
people who never had a Jewish education
and the little things they do know are
usually very very stereotypical things
they weren't in a newspaper I read in an
article or saw a movie and they often
don't never had a chance to appreciate a
deeper dimension of it it's the
stereotypical statements and
observations about religious Jews or
Torah observant Jews or Jewish orthodoxy
or ha-lo etc and I was working with this
couple and I wanted very much that they
should appreciate the concept of mikvah
the mitzvah of mikvah and I was having a
difficult time imparting it to the
couple I knew who they were they asked
me to officiate so I chose a moment at
the Hopa and I said you know we have
here a couple getting married it's
always a beautiful moment at the
beginning it's fresh full of dreams full
of promises full of vision full of
excitement and then there's boredom dis
monotony you know every couple dreams of
two aspects in the relationship there's
a fire like relationship and a water
like relationship we all want fire and
we all want water what's the difference
fire is hot and passionate and
electrifying it represents a
relationship that is full of electricity
excitement zest passion love water
represents a relationship that is calm
tranquil more placid more consistence
every couple wants both on one hand we
want a fiery relationship on the other
hand we want a water like relationship
there's a challenge however and that is
fire and water never coexist the
greatest scientific mind has not yet
discovered
you have fire and water coexisting
either the fire evaporates the water or
the water extinguishes the blaze you
can't have fire in water coexisting and
that's why you'll see there are couples
that have fiery relationships but when
they get into a fight
oh my god it's volatile it's intense
they're both intense their fiery but
what the attention goes in the negative
you don't want to be there and then
there are couples that have water like
relationships they're calm almost like a
boyfriend a girlfriend like business
partners you could rely on each other
but there's an oomph that's missing
there's a passion that's missing and
everybody wants fire and water and they
haven't yet to figure it out how and I
said here is the brilliance of the
divine creator
articulated to the Taira and what he
told every couple was this is how it
works two weeks fire two weeks water
because fire and water will not coexist
there's a time for fire and there's a
time for water the time for water is a
time when you have to learn to respect
boundaries to realize that I am NOT you
and you are not me and we have to talk
about ourselves our issues our
challenges our disagreements in our
relationship and then there's a time of
bonding in a fiery fashion another two
weeks the cuts grabber once said in
Yiddish ibanez Val do please do and do
please do well it's been a tradition if
station do business do opera it's been a
palace beneath Khan dooba dooba dooba
dooba needs it do please do you got it
I'll translate if I am I because you are
you and you are you because I am I then
I am NOT I and you are not you but if I
am I because I am I and you are you
because you are you then I am I and you
are you and now we can begin to schmooze
that's the difference between fire and
water there's a time when differences
fall apart as the fire disintegrates all
the differences and creates one cohesive
passionate flame and then there's the
time of water the respect the boundaries
when the relationship has to learn about
respect for the of the person's
individuality and that's where
conversation becomes critically
important and I said let me tell you
traveling the world no mind has figured
out how fire and water can coexist the
best remedy for this send her my regards
the best and tell her she should have
come she's missing a good one
the better the best remedy for this is
two weeks and two weeks which is why
it's concluded through again the
institution of mikvah which is the water
not my own show of in the divine natural
water which is the staple of the
mickeleh I want to conclude with the
following story it touched me very
deeply and for me it's an example of
this tourist Crescent we're talking
about I heard this from a Jew he was a
rabbi in Springfield Massachusetts name
is rabbi Dovid Adelman he had a school
he passed away a number of years ago at
the age of 94 fifty years he ran a
Jewish day school in Springfield
Massachusetts and he told me the
following personal experience he had
which taught me so much about
communicating with the Jewish people
today especially with the Jewish youth
and especially an understanding of what
terrorist hazard is what feminine
terrors
and he said that he was a yeshiva boy
learning in Brooklyn in the early 1940s
he was a teenager learning in yeshiva he
learned in the Habad yeshiva called time
set minimum on 770 Eastern Parkway in
Brooklyn during the lifetime of the six
Lubavitch Rebbe who died in 1950 Rabbi
Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn the
father-in-law of the most recent
Lubavitch Europe and he said he's
standing at an elevator there in the
achieve is that near the elevator and
he's snoozing with another boy and who
walks out the door a man who would later
become the Lubavitcher Rebbe Rabbi
Menachem Mendel Schneerson who at the
time was the son-in-law of his
father-in-law who was at that time the
Lubavitch are ever known as there are
attributes and he sees two boys
smoothing rabbi Adelman and somebody
else or by Fogelman and he says to them
and you disheveled hair in a fresh
convert for Evan you want to hear afresh
as we would say you know fresh or fresh
out of the oven a new Vaart a new inside
I just heard from my father although
from there but they said of course and
this is what the Future lebara cherub of
blessed memory would tell them in 1942
or 43 he said a lot of Druze come into
shul here including secular Jews I have
a custom my custom is I'm warm to
everybody I display warmth to everybody
and I'm a chiropractor and the were
older Hassidim who came to me and they
said this is wrong behavior because
these are Jews who are not for them and
by displaying love to them it could
sound like you're giving a half-shirt
you're giving a kosher certificate on
their desecration of many mitzvahs you
should be more cold and rigid and the
future the barber chair ever tells are
by Adelman who tells me I did not know
if I was right or wrong so I went up to
my father-in-law the previous Lubavitch
Rebbe Rabbi Yosef in second I asked him
the question I said I have a custom to
embrace all Jews with love and some of
the older Hassidim told me is the wrong
thing to
he said my father-in-law just now there
Abbott looked at me and he said every
father and mother when they have a baby
they love that baby with their entire
heart and their entire soul that's how
God made it if they're healthy
functional parents they love the child
with every fiber of their being and you
would think there's no more place for
love in the heart and yet when they have
another child somehow the heart expands
and they have infinite love for the
second child and with the third child
comes again infinite love and the love
just keeps on growing with every single
child and yet he said in Yiddish
sometimes a baby is born and the baby is
born with a challenge where the baby
develops a challenge heaven forbid an
illness an infection baby is crippled
baby is disabled there may be a blemish
in a certain part of the body and the
child experiences a severe limitation
and he said for this child the parents
possess and I'll say it in yudish an
Aegon article observed a unique
unparalleled love even though you would
think how could you love more you
already loved all of your children
infinitely but this child who's
suffering this child who's struggling
with something for this child they have
a special special place in their heart
because of their sensitivity towards the
difficulties of this child they don't
love him less they don't love her less
they love this child much more there's a
special empathy that healthy normal
loving parents after such a child and
then he said these words dear boy no you
shall oil Amash n loves every Jew like
an only child the love is infinite the
love is absolute the love is
unconditional the love is unwavering
nothing could sever stifle suppress
obliterate or even diminish dilute
mitigate or compromise the love the love
is apps
Lewton infinite to every single drew but
sometimes God has a child who has a
challenge a child who's lacking
something and he said I heedless lake
nichkhun's filling I drew doesn't put on
tefillin there's something missing in
their arm Oh drew doesn't learn Tara
there's something missing there's such
challenge in in the mind in the mouth a
Jew doesn't celebrate Shabbos doesn't
like Shabbos candles there's something
missing in the home a Jew doesn't keep
the Mitzvah of a couple doesn't keep the
Mitzvah of mikvah there's another
component that's missing Hashem looks at
these children who are missing something
who are devoid of a certain meaning of a
certain inspiration of a certain depth
of a certain Mitzvah and these children
ah he professes a unique unparalleled
love to them precisely because of his
sensitivity to what they're lacking and
he looked at him and he said do freeze
it with the neighbors that you continue
to behave my god that's what I want you
to behave and I found it fascinating
when he told me the story
Raphael oh man cuz who would have
suspected that form all people in the
last generation the Lubavitch Rebbe is a
kernel of rock I had doubts about kirov
should I be my character now but he did
and yet once he heard from his rapper
what's the proper method he never turned
back and then I understood the
difference of Tyrus M s and Tyrus hasent
Tyrus casa this deteriorate at always
sees the endless flow of love of energy
of empower
of interconnectivity between all the
people between the world and our sham
between heaven and earth between the
body and the soul between the spiritual
and the physical that's what yes it is
yes it is connectivity the word Alva our
love is the same game at RIA it's 13
samyama kriya like a hot oneness it's
acid it's Alva that create oneness
between people between God and the
people between heaven and earth
this was the mistake of the spies they
understood Judaism as a separation
between heaven and earth if we go and
tear it all we won't be able to sustain
our Judaism we have to stay in the
desert they didn't understand the terror
of Casa de Toyota of interconnectedness
the terror of cohesiveness the Torah
which is holistic the terror which is
which encompasses all of reality in the
entire world the tire of watermeion
which is macabre my in the Gomorrah says
you're in the mahkum Guevara lahmacun
amok which is why this Mitzvah of mikvah
to was given to the Jewish woman and so
tonight as you say goodbye to your
faithful leaders of the mikveh how many
years 12 years 15 years ah 50 years and
they say that that 15 years went by like
two days they went by like two days
poram and sahasrara the two happiest
days right the two happiest and exciting
days in the Jewish calendar I conclude
with congratulations to this community
from maintaining and continuing to
maintain and only grow and foster this
most incredible powerful institution the
crown jewel of every Jewish community
the crown jewel of every Jewish gorilla
of every Jewish Society of every Jewish
city and every community and may Hashem
allow you and help you to go from
strength to strength to build and
beautify and add in this great Mitzvah
of McGavin raise continued to raise that
civis Hashem the soldiers of the reborn
shall Elam through those mirrors which
created the kir that brought kedusha
antara sanctity impurity to the Jewish
world until the moment of his Iraq the
alaykum I am to her
to hurt them from here BIA may know our
main thank you very much thank you
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