Discovering the Feminine Torah - By Rabbi YY Jacobson

the yeshiva dotnet they tell the anecdote about a 65 year old fellow who went for a check-up by the doctor just a general examination and the doctor scrutinizes him and after an hour where the doctor says you're like a teenager you have the heart of an 18 year old you have the health of a 20 year old incredible incredible in your 65 Wow this is something special inspiring and it would be interesting to know how long did your father live for how old was he when he died the man looks at him and says what would make you think that my father is dead he says Oh your father is alive Wow how old does he says my father is 86 and he goes skiing every week he goes skiing he goes surfing he's in the gym for two hours a day he runs the marathon he does Pilates Wow the doctor says 86 that's incredible how old was his father when he died this is what makes you think that his father is dead since what his father's also a lobbyist absolutely he's a hundred and four years old and he opens the store every morning seven o'clock he's in the grocery store he stands all day in the store then at night he goes for an exercise he's a personal trainer as well he says Wow but this is a hundred and sixty so this is absolutely and let me that's what he's getting married next week really he's getting mad 106 like why does he want to get married at 106 is who says he wants to his mother is pressuring him the fact the fact remains I just got it the fact remains that in Judaism we have a soul we have a safe a Torah the crown jewel of a shoe if you could put your cell phones on vibrate sender my regards and then put it on vibrate please I enjoy Mozart but not when I speak the fact remains that in Jewish law the Jewish community is obligated to sell every Shore and to sell every Torah scroll if there is no mikvah in town in other words the shoe lenders safe a Torah have to be solved if there's no three source of money in order to make sure that there's a mythical why because in Judaism the shul is of course critically important but it pales in comparison to the sanctity of the home and of the bedroom where the future of Jewish civilization is created and primarily through the one responsible most for the perpetuating of the Jewish people the Jewish woman I remember a few years ago it was a sad Friday for my family as we said goodbye to my 94 year old grandmother now my grandmother was a Russian lady a refugee saved herself and her family from Stalin's regime came over to Poland after the war and ultimately made it to the United States of America she raised a large family and she died a number of years ago at the age of 94 Methodist Hospital the next morning the next afternoon Friday was her funeral and they buried her in the Montefiore Cemetery in Queens not very far from here my grandmother was a short frail lady feisty and tough but short and frail and it was raining and they interred her into her resting place and her children set the cottage and as I walked back out of the cemetery I took a look and I saw more than 300 descendants leaving the cemetery and I thought to myself here is where you see the power of history the power of eternity when she was raising those kids day in day out they don't have to preach to you what you experienced more than anything else is the restlessness the exhaustion the ear aches the viruses sometimes the impossible husband another baby to deal with was a Jewish couple celebrating their 50th anniversary and she gets up and says I want to make a toast of myself for sticking it out with him for 50 years and I want to tell you that the 50 years went by like two days there was one nudnik in the crowd you know what a nudnik is yeah they have any NQ Cardinals they have literally my grandmother used to say there are three types of Jews Lamia slaw mazels and Rudnick's the schlemiel pours the soup on the schlemazel and the nudnik wants to know what type of soup wasn't every I speak to audiences around the world every audience excluding this one has a nudnik so this look Nick raises his hand and says excuse me ma'am why do you say that your marriage 50 days went by like two days why don't you say it went by like one day told you he was a nudnik she says because aren't married for 50 years has been like two days tisha boven Yom Kippur - toughest days in the Jewish calendar but as you're building your family as you're building your life it's very hard to see the big picture the famous Defense Minister of Israel some of you remember Moshe Dayan had a patch on his eye his ones driving on an Israeli Highway 150 km/h which in Israel is not that fast and a policeman stops him and says you Diane you should serve as a role model for Israeli society I thought I had come on my show guy you're driving like a madman I'm going to quadruple your summons you ought to know better and Moshe Dayan says my dear officer look at me I have one eye now what would you like me to do with this I look at the speedometer a look at the highway I'm not sure whether you got a ticket or didn't get it they're not gonna be a nudnik and ask the question but the inset is an important insight because in life we often focus on the speedometer my day-to-day routine activities and that's what life is made up of life is comprised of the nuances and the details and the pressures daily right now as I'm talking you'll soon be texting about one of some of those issues but at that moment as she returned her soul to its maker and the earth swallowed her up that final moment of truth suddenly one could see a window into the power of history a summation of 94 years and you see the incredible impact the incredible power of one short frail Jewish woman who never lost vision who maybe not only saw the speedometer but also the highway and that's why in Judaism you have to sell ashore and sell even a safer Torah if there's no microphone there's not enough money because Judaism understood that the synagogue is not the center of Yiddish kind it's not where life happens it's where men get attention which is fine not a bad thing and Shabbos morning you send them out it's a good thing it's not a bad thing but that's not where the essence of life happens the essence of life happens in the kitchen in the dining room and of course in the living room and of course in the refrigerator the pantry and of course the bedroom and that's what the maker represents and you know senator joseph Lieberman I mentioned remember he was running with Al Gore remember as ticket Al Gore president joseph Lieberman vice president first time a Jew might have been vice president of the United States of America somebody I asked somebody was the difference between Trump and the Reform Jews an answer as he as Jewish grandchildren so Lieberman go Al Gore lost he lost okay so he decided to take on global warming and obviously Lieberman also lost running as vice president they say that home that night he came home to his wife her name is Hadassah happened to Noah Darcy Lieberman and she greets him by the door and he's despondent he's dejected you know he lost they put up a heavy fight he thought he might become vice president then he lost and she looks at images dog Joe you don't have to be despondent in this home you will always be vice president I was I was giving I was giving a lecture the other day there was somewhat of a different crowd and one of the women asked me why is it that Orthodox Jews see women as second-class citizens I said sure meet my mother-in-law meet my mother meet my wife sure I don't know where you're living I really don't know where you're living she says it's a fact in Judaism it's very male oriented it's always the male's that make the decisions I said listen the basics of Judaism is the Hebrew Bible the Torah I said you come with me to the Bible and you tell me objectively and honestly who makes the big decisions in life was once a couple who came to Arab where they were having marital problems remedied what's the problem the husband said we got married 12 years ago we made a deal the deal was I make the big decisions she makes a small decision she made that deal and it's not happening that way so the rabbi turns to the wife and says why not she says well he didn't understand what I meant the big decisions I want him to make for example what do we do about a situation in the Middle East what do we do about global warming what do you do about North Korea what do you know about Russia what do you do about Isis what do you do about fundamentalist Islam what we do a global warming these are big decisions these decisions my husband makes and he could tell her in Netanyahu what to do with I read and tell Trump what to do with China and the rest of the world that I don't mix up the small decisions for example where we live how much money I spend on the credit card every hour how many pairs of shoes I own where we send our kids to school which shall we don't step foot into small inconsequential insignificant decisions these I make and he does not mix into it well listen to this you'll open up a hummus just go through safe operations and you'll see that this joke is not a joke all the small decisions God lets the men make all the big decisions never for example who decided that Adam should eat from the tree of knowledge it's a pretty big decision the same one who till still tells their husbands what to eat them what not be not much has changed and he still says what do you want my wife made the kugel what do you want I thought it was healthy I didn't know she meant it for the guests Adam said the same thing Ayesha what do you want for me if I haven't put it on the table what am I supposed to do pretty big decision that decision changed history a man did not make it why did the snake go to other he was sleeping I'm sure he was sleeping he was sitting on the couch and sleeping she was up see went to her Wow snakes told they don't go to men they sleep pretty big decision who decided for example that you small should be expelled from our alma Vino's home it's cook should be there pretty big decision in affected history the Arabs still don't forgive us for it who decided that none of Roma V no sorrow and I've run was upset and I Shem gave him the eternal commandment 11th commandment coil our chateau Marilla saw sorrow Sh'ma bacala whatever sorrow tells do you listen not this whatever she tells you you see my mother trade me well no my wife my mother and my frigate who decided that a sub is not getting the brothers that Yakov is getting the blessings pretty big decision who decided that not yet stuck and not Yaakov and I love Rome rifki good old rifka and who decided who decided that it's time to bring in a new generation from Lights pretty risqué business his daughters he was drunk he was at the kiddush clock he didn't know what hit him he was drunk they the ones who brought in more of an almond which became the fathers of Roose and ultimately the grandma she was the great grandmother of David I'm Alison schleimann mushiya and who decided that it's time for you hood to have a child from tomorrow who decided he he didn't know what hit him it was her Tamar and who came from that parrots and Zara parrots the great-grandfather of boas and of or even Anna Vissi NF Nova den of Seligman of material and who decided that little baby Moses Marsh who was put into a basket of the Nile River facing the ultimate destiny of most Jewish babies at the time would be retrieved and saved and raised in the palace to stage the greatest revolution of history and mold his people into God's nation who decided that a woman and not even a Jewish woman an Egyptian princess by the name of Bhatia and so the Tanakh continues you could do the rest of the homework yourself I asked this lady I said now you be objectively honest with me and tell me the truth who makes the small decisions in commerce and who makes the big decisions and how much the small decisions they let them men make they needed for their egos but when it comes to historic decisions when it comes to the highway not to the speedometer somehow do your boyish a loyal them entrusted this into the hands of women but why why is this and the answer is because Tara has two dimensions to it when we want to describe the woman in Asian style proverbs chapter 31 before kids remember PR puska become of asuras Casa della Shayla the woman opens her mouth with wisdom and the treasure of kindness is on her tongue my Lackey the probably Malathi describes the tire in generally and he says in the masculine toy or SMS horrible feel in his mouth was a turn of truth this datura of truth and is the tire of kindness two dimensions of yiddish kind distress ms and this toy is essence the soy rust-eze said alice joy no toy or SMS hyah beefy who washings occur in the mask now go through the whole Tana what's mentioned first acid or Emma let's start with the 13 attributes of mercy Hashem Hashem Corral can become an Erica PI in morale has said the MS Eliezer comes to su l he's looking for a sugar for its cup he says I say Amy do with me has said for MS Yaakov Aveeno asks Yosef to take him out of Egypt he does do with me has said the MS throughout the entire turnoff yes it always precedes Emma's tehilim has said the MS NIV gosh who said that with Shalom Masha qu kindness and truth have met justice and peace have kissed Tess said before Emma's now you understand why when it comes to the giving of the Torah Sam tells moisture clay soil Marla Bais Yaakov the saga dilemma is wrong why did search near a hundred years ago in 1917 decide to name the first girls institutions of Torah learning in history as far as we know base Yakko why not base sorrow bass riff goodbye struggle by SIA Benoist sounds by sana buys whatever base Yaakov it's because of the scene by Matt and Tara sham said coach Omar labeija masajid live now Israel speak to the house of Yaakov and then to the sons of Israel asks rashly who is the house of Yaakov a Lujan notion the house of Yaakov other women then speak to the men in other words Hashem told my sure you first teach women before men because hasit precedes Emma's Taurus Cassatt precedes terrorists servants what's the difference Toyota SMS is true but it often focuses on details on nuances on intricacies ask your son when you come on what he learnt in yeshiva today and you'll hear what I'm telling you details nuances intricacies which are critical which are important but the feminine experience of Tyre is one that often picks up and articulates the kindness the compassion the empathy the love the spirituality the depth of Yiddish guides I was recently in Israel a Jew from Bnei Brak tells me the following story there were many Jewish kids left orphans after the Holocaust and the pandava tier of man named ripslinger Yosef conman Zetas addict lavrova reviews of Kahneman built orphanages in Bnei Brak to raise these orphans in fact he was a well-known famous and very successful fundraiser he himself lost his family in the war he was away he was fundraising and he came from Pune vision the little earth away near they were wiped out and he rebuilt not only his life but he rebuilt Parnevik and many institutions of Bnei Brak and roof Kahneman was a very very special and wise man he went fundraising to south africa south african community had many luther wainy and jews so this was a good place for him to fundraise for his institutions in Israel and Archie straw and he once went to a Jew in South Africa who was very anti religious and he comes to him and he says I'm raising these orphans and bnei brak and I desperately need money this is the 1950s and the Jew says I will give you 1 million dollars u.s. dollars in the 1950s but one condition I don't want you to stuff religion down the throat of those kids I will give you a million dollars if you accept an oath that none of those are friends will be wearing yarmulkes and none of them will be wearing citrus if you commit you have a million dollars Parnevik sheriff said no problem you have my commitment and he gives him his hand he comes out with a million dollars but a student says yep how could you honor such an untruth what if he comes to visit this is gonna be a disaster he's gonna see exactly what's happening what everybody says don't worry I don't lie he went and he built them orphanage for girls none of them were yarmulkes and none of them warts it's us I called a Kluge he understood what you have to do these girls grew up and this was their home their friends they had counselors that might record that makan hot he advocated them he fed them he nurtured them he gave them a place to her they had no father's no mothers they old of children parents were killed in the Holocaust I'm gonna tell you a story here's what happened and yes you will understand the difference between terrorists Ms aunt iris custards a little bit of a painful story to say but it happens so often it's called people who just don't get it and in order for you to appreciate my story to tell you another story I don't die grass I extrapolate there was a portion or a poor man and he was hungry and he comes to the house of a wealthy man and he says I need some food food I haven't eaten in two days he reminds there was a woman in Beverly Hills she walks out of her 14 million dollar mansion and a homeless guys just I haven't eaten in three days man man please she says wow I'm so jealous of you I wish I had such willpower it's called narcissists are narcissists say how do you drown a narcissist you put mirrors on the bottom of the ocean in any case this man comes to this wealthy man he says I haven't eaten in a few days please give me some I don't feed snores you go to shul go go find some bum it's rattles he says I can go anywhere I haven't eaten I'm going to collapse give me something from the garbage it's from the garbage I'll give you he takes us from the garbage leftovers from Shabbos some fish salty horrible fish decadent fish that was thrown to the garbin he gives it to this man and the poor guy hasn't eaten in a while so he gobbles up the fish within nine seconds it's down his esophagus but the fish was so salty and decadent and tasteless and horrific he collapsed he's taken to the hospital so this man comes home to his wife and he says you know I have a big mitzvah to do tonight remember the guest that we had over whom I fed fish never he fell ill and is a great mitzvah called bicker : because column have to visit the sick ok I'm going the next day tells his wife today is a busy day you know our guest who never fell ill he died is a big mitzvah to go to a funeral have to go to a funeral the next day tells his wife there's a big mitzvah called nickim avail and he left children I have to go pay a Shiva call he comes home from the Shiva call smiling from ear-to-ear his wife never saw him so happy in 25 years since I'm Yankel why is so happy why is so happy I have to say this in Yiddish and then I'll translate because you dishes just Yiddish ask your grandmother you did just just get it so he says how could I not be happy give our Cookeville mitzvah superb Cataumet aim for stinking ethical fish how can I not be happy see how many mitzvahs I committed through one decadent salty horrible piece of fish four of the greatest mitzvahs I can also saw him bicker Alvaro's amazed and nickim available this is called somebody in the extreme who doesn't get it somebody who thinks he's very religious but he doesn't get it somebody there are bank calls and purchase toship novel bearish or satire a degenerate with the permission of Tyra there's no terrorist asset so here's the story these orphans are growing up in Bnei Brak Friday night they're eating together what do they do after the meal or middle of the meal Friday night they're singing songs they have a neighbor the neighbor is a very religious fellow living in maan a Brack he comes running to the Puna Vetrov after Shabbos and he says this is impossible you know what I have to do Friday night I gotta listen to these girls singing it's a modest it's an appropriate plan according to Luca you got it tell the girls to speak and not sink the punter future of says what do you want me to do these are girls at Shabbos this is their home this is their family they sing what should I tell them he says well I live nearby what am I supposed to do what am I supposed to do tell them not to say they can eat and schmooze and go to sleep and go read they shouldn't sing the pond overture of said I can't tell that to them and he decided that he has to take this question to the coziness and he goes to the coziness and he presents think when he starts presenting the question he tells the story there's the orphanage for girls and have a neighbor and the girls Friday night I have a meal and you know they start singing they sing he didn't even finish the story the cousin ish interrupted him and said wow they think these girls are singing already that's so incredibly moving they found it within themselves to be able to discover their music to be able to reignite their hope their joy that is the best piece of news I have her in a long time the Pandava Jadhav didn't even finish he didn't even finish the question now of course if this man was so holy he could have gone to shul and learned for 3-4 hours till 2:00 in the morning and come home but that's the point sometimes people think they're in touch with Terra but they're devoid of tourist assets they lack the love the empathy and if there's any Mitzvah any part of you despite that doesn't bespeak love empathy creativity respect for individuality and the mission to empower people the person is divorced from one of the most essential messages of Judaism and that's why before you learn terrorists MS you have to learn to rest Tessa because if not you're supposed truth can become distorted by personal bias by selfishness by a sense of holier than thou by some type of spiritual pompous 'no sand arrogance and a person becomes divorced from the essential powerful message of all of Judaism and thus Hashem tells moisture so Marla base Yaakov Wasaga the B'nai Israel and where do you see it more than in that incredible story which has perplexed everybody until today 3000 years later 3,300 years later it's hard to understand what happened what exactly happened how is it that my sharavino sends 12 spies Kulemin Asham is Akshay Kumar you the great spiritual Giants of the generation to scout the land and suddenly they see Giants and they see fortresses and they sees armies and they see fortified cities and they come home frightened discouraged and they persuade the entire nation that the journey to the Holy Land is impossible FSG Azam learning nuchal alloys key Kazakh who me men who as we learned this week in bearish la what happened they saw that the greatest empire of the time the Egyptian Empire was brought to its knees through moisha and Aaron's leadership they saw it they saw the plagues this was not a generation that came at a later point in history that heard stories or read them in books they saw it with their eyes and that twenty years before they saw just one year earlier they saw it how did they become so intimidated so overwhelmed so discouraged so full of panic and fright and terror you just saw what happened at the sea you just saw what happened at the mountain you just ate breakfast for breakfast you just had mama where did it come from you just drank water and used for a mikvah this strange Miriam well that was coming with you rollin with you what what happened to these people and what is even more difficult to understand is the national hysteria that they managed to create and yet there was one demographic of Jews who were completely unmoved by the terror of the spies and they are the Jewish women which is why people you know the origin of the sitter's crisis do you know the origin of the shitless crisis all Talya all the entire generation between 20 and 60 died in the desert right only the men do you know that none of the women died they all went in territory strossen you understand what was happening over the in the first generation that's my theory that's my thought such a bad theory so the myth the women were moved by this hysteria now let's face it they came down and they said Loomis loo we're gonna die we and our wives and our children are all gonna die by sword when we face the mighty empires in Egypt the mothers should have been the first one to panic that's a fact when there's a mouse on your counter who panics when there's a roach or a rat you have them in Queens you don't borrow her she'll okay who panics yeah I once my wife called me once I said st you're bigger and you're stronger it didn't help somehow it didn't help yeah but here the women were unmoved they're fine we'll go Texas no not only that declare your car the car you lived in the 1600s this is a lot of years before feminism you can look it up the clay ochre says says in Bush Marsh la flesche amtel's moisture slack look Oh an awesome so rashly says what's look our Luddite huh I'm not telling you to do this this is on your own so the clay yucca says something very powerful he says moisture came to your boyish Elohim and said I want to send spies who do you want to send Hashem said he's so gonna take 12 kevrah some said no you said only women only women Marsha said sir posish it's not gonna work Hashem said I'm telling you don't send men send women that's what the clay ogre says moisture argued so I should have sex laughs look on awesome you want to send men it's on you it's not on me if you listen to me send women Tara to zero that's what the clay that you want to send men no problem don't come back to me and say because they're crybabies the factors of child birth would have been given to men right it would have ended in the first generation I could guarantee I can guarantee you know the guy the guy his wife was having a baby and he was panicking she was screaming so he was panicking the olden days you could smoke in the halls and he's smoking and running and I can't believe this is crazy crazy finally the nurse says Mazel Tov Mazel Tov your wife had a girl Baruch Hashem she won't have to go through what I'm going through people see things from that perspective here I don't mean to bash man I'm a man and I like men my father was a man etcetera not so simple in this generation but in any case I don't mean to bash men they're wonderful people they're wonderful people for things that they're good at but things they're good so the women were unmoved and I want to tell you one of the deepest stories about this comes from the teachings of the ballot Anya and he says as follows the spies were not afraid of defeat they were afraid of victory sometimes people are afraid to lose listen what I'm telling you women sometimes people are not afraid to lose people are afraid to win I'll talk about marriages for a moment I know it's a topic maybe not of interest some of us love to live a life of kvetching you know why there's always somebody to blame we're not always afraid to lose we're sometimes afraid to win what would life feel like if you had nothing to connect about if you had nobody to blame what would life feel like if you felt completely free and empowered this is called the consciousness of redemption the godless has gotten to us over 2,000 years and sometimes we become meek and weak and timid and we feel comfortable in that position your kvetching great wonderful you're complaining good you're Jewish let's say tell them somebody throws in a kosher restaurant the waiter is going from table to table is anything all right you ever see Jews on airplanes completely Restless I don't like flying with Jews by the way I love Jews I married a Jewish woman my mother's Jewish I don't like flying with Jews you know why Gentiles come for hours before the flight and they sit in one place throughout the flight and they read the magazines in those seats dull Jews come late and the more from the later they come with all the respect they come with Pecola and Pecola camp echo and they open it's an hour flight to Montreal for heaven's sake and the opening of glove compartments they're opening they go back and forth our covers they think it's some conspirator they go back and forth they open boom boom boom boom the poor Gentile swears that he's never gonna go on an L out plane again tears and they open and open and it goes back and forth finally the flight attendant says the whole plane is waiting for you would you sit down right now and fasten your seat belt he turns to his wife and says she's a Nazi the Holocaust will not happen again I will not sit down Jews are free nobody's going to tell me what to do that's how it is in fact the other day somebody tells me there was a flight going to Tel Aviv hello you ever win an hour flight the deliverer come on Alex lon so so this guy wanted to sleep 11 hours he wanted to sleep so he put up a big sign near his seat and he wrote as follows I dive administer don't ask me for a minyan I dive admire if I do not want to dive in chakras till I land in Israel I don't have tylenol I don't have homeopathic remedies I don't have a sitter I don't have a tiller I don't have tuna I don't have a bull Cola I don't have that vo me I don't know the schoolís of the bubble Sally what you do when the plane and the flight becomes turbulent I have no Matthias Abner Hockley stroll I have no reading material I have no baby wipes I have no diapers I don't have bottles I don't have formulas I don't have pacifiers I don't have baby food I have nothing and he thought he thought he dealt with the challenge he's gonna sleep for 11 hours little did he know Jews three minutes later somebody pokes him a kid a kid but not only an hour they wake you up in the ribs they put you with the ribs like this they can't say excuse me the ribs pull and he gets up he's mad has redesigned the boy says I read this sign we did again he says I read it again what do you want this has nothing to do with the sciences what do you want said sadaqa for the vision it's a fade there so yeah so you understand my friends not easy sometimes people they're so used to things being wrong and miserable that's the way they operate what would it look like if you can imagine that your marriage was the best marriage in the world and your relationship with your children was the best relationship in the world and live that way what do we do then what do we do then I call my sister what do I say life is great my husband I'm crazy about it I'm crazy about my kids so much like us my daughter-in-law my son-in-law as a man what would you do what would the conversations look like what would you talk about when you have coffee what would you talk about face dashed in life we're not always afraid of losing I tell you one of the deep truths in life is sometimes we're afraid of winning we're afraid of success it's one of the greatest tragedies of modern day Israel what happened after the six-day war they're still apologizing somebody asked me how do you know what a Jew as I said it's very simple when the drew makes a fist you know what happens next a shot knew but God to know goes I'll know okay I'm sorry for living I'm sorry for existence we're almost now on a win if we lose Baruch Hashem we could catch if we want what do we do now we feel like we're aggressive and we're dominant and we're controlling the only people that wins and their victory is a loss they're apologizing for winning this is the Jewish psychology very complex and you know it began with despise they weren't afraid of losing you know the story Israel once had a very bad economy today Bart lemons better a number of years ago the economy of Israel was lousy the Knesset had a meeting what do you do so an old Jew gets up he says I have an idea let's learn from Japan and Germany let's declare war against America they'll wipe us out and then they'll rebuild us into an economic superpower look what they did to Germany look what they did to Japan an old Jew gets up in his sizes it's all good or what happens if we win the war the spies were not afraid of defeat they were afraid of victory what was the fear of victory what will happen in victory what will happen in victory is very simple and very profound now we're being sustained by heavenly mama were being sustained by a well of Miriam we're surrounded by clouds of glory we have motion Aaron and arm it's bringing us the Word of God every single day no worries no mortgage payments no tuition payments no packing up for camp no figuring out which seminary you're going to get into all the stress when they come into the land they have to build an army they have Wars to fight they have an economy to sustain they have a society to build they have to start planting grain harvesting grain they have to start creating the agriculture create farming create society create an army and what will happen what will happen if they're victorious is they might lose their spiritual relationship they might lose their divine mandate the spies were holy men and they made a holy mistake what was the mistake the mistake was to quote the Madras miss avocadoes Varro Julius lady rabbit Athena Dearborn asylum wanted wish he creates for him a home in the lower elements of reality he wanted a fragment of heaven to be brought down to earth he wanted we should fashion our physical reality into a divine abode he didn't want us to escape into heaven he didn't want us to live forever in clouds of glory he wanted us to transform the physical into spiritual and to create a kiss to generate a kiss between heaven and earth this was the holy mistake of the spies they wanted to remain forever sheltered in the cocoon of spirituality but the ultimate objective of Judaism is to transform the entire landscape of Earth to reveal that the gosh he is also routinely is and that the divine isn't the physical as much as in the spiritual and this is why the women did not make that mistake of the spies because one of the differences between terrorists and mesentery yes it is tire SMS can often be aloof and attacked Taurus has said is always integrative it's holistic it sees the full picture and it never detaches the spiritual from the physical that's the reason I was once at a conference it was a pretty intense conference and somebody said you see Judaism is very very against women I said witty I said they're not in a minyan the person tells to me they're not in a minyan why don't you do I don't you have them in a minyan I said most women are so happy Shabbos to stay home they read their magazines whatever it is they drink their coffee they have to now be in a minyan to just a way to get men out of the house early as early as possible and give them a real day of Shabbos of rest the vacation but they have the man sitting off the cop and saying when is the food gonna be ready that's what you need so the God made a minyan you put them if we need a minyan your chakras mentamide it as often as possible the Muslims do five times a day okay the Orthodox do three times a day the Reformed would only three times a year that's why the marriages don't last as long they would have a minyan three times a day somebody said why by the Orthodox is less divorce I say they have three months of legal separation it's called summer three more who ever heard of such a thing whatever I'm not gonna talk I'm not gonna give I'm not gonna give you all my heresy in one night but in any case you understand the situation so she says there's no minion either where were we let's make this clear what's the source of a minion how do we know that ten Jews make up a minion anybody knows you remember from base Yakko from your gamma and base Yakko I don't mean to bring back nightmares so I'll tell you how do we know how do we know a minion the answer is the Gamora says Ernest ss Magilla Hashem tells motion wash la add masai how long will I have to deal with a de carajás ice this evil community how many spies betrayed God ten and a sham calls them on Aida a community from here we learn that 10 Jews make up a minion the entire source of a million comes from despise now you understand why women are not part of the minion it's a sign of Honor every minion of 10 Jews is trying to rectify the community of the spies that's where it comes from that's the reason why is it that according to Torah you don't give a woman in alia some temples bus Mitzvah you get an alia why don't girls get an alia the answer is very very deep and very simple what does the word alia mean what does alia mean to go up to ascend when do you have to go up if you're in a lower place you have to go up the entire raised on the Etra a feminine toy is that earth is as heavenly as heaven that God is not any less than the physical than he isn't the spiritual that the ultimate drama of existence happens by revealing the divine within the physical world and this debate goes on and generations you see it even by the kheer when the women donated for the Mishkan mirrors what does Rashi say vehicle Baku day what does Rashi say Moshe a man who said I can't use these mirrors why you remember hey Lois I only ate suhara these mirrors were used to beautify themselves to entice their husbands how does it come to the Michigan what does Hashem say a Luka Vivian a lineman hot oil these mirrors are more precious than anything and he turns them into the kir the washing basin what was the objective of the kir to wash their hands and feet to sanctify themselves what would be using to sanctify themselves the mirrors that the women were using to beautify themselves Moisture said wah-wah-wah-wah-wah this is a weird Judaism I'm screaming it's the eighth Sahara and God is saying make the kheer out of it this is how you have kedusha here you have it what our Shem was explaining to moisture is that you don't understand in the world of your Tyrel you look at this and you say this is the 8th Sahara but for the woman not only this 98 Zara this is the holiest moment because the body and the soul are one physical intimacy is an expression of spiritual intimacy that's why the mikveh becomes the most sensual institution and Judaism more important than this shul in the cemetery will you go into spirituality so the kheer becomes the source of holiness that's why they don't wear a yarmulke why don't women wear a yarmulke one on girls wear a yarmulke it's not fair then we go on rollercoasters yeah we have to get the caps what a yarmulke is two words you're a make ale above our brains we have a yarmulke to represent that above us is the divine but the calling of feminine toy is that your entire body is one yarmulke God is not above you God is above you and inside of you and you so there's terrorists ms and this terrorist asset one often focuses on nuances intricacies details brought them terrorist asset sees the big picture the highway the love the warmth the relationship the connection the intimacy and by the way this can also explain a little thing that happens in your kitchen and that is you'll notice that most men don't close their cabinets it's very hard for them to close cabinets you know that right they take out a plate they take out a cup and the cabinets and drawers always remain open at night you're always closing cabinets and drawers so there's that video that was going around some of you probably saw it it's one of these videos that those of us who are busy watch so it's either my videos or that african-american that African American holy brothers videos but he doesn't get to the spirituality of it he makes a good point doesn't a the spirituality of it now his point is and he's right his point is I forgot who it is but his point is that we men were very very detailed oriented there's a famous title of a book men are waffles women are spaghetti waffles every waffle is self-contained you know what I mean like when you pour maple syrup and a waffle you don't you never allow it to go above them a pizza of the waffle because it has to be self-contained spaghetti every strand of pastas intertwined and interconnected with hundreds of other pieces of pasta men's brains are like waffles women are spaghetti like the world wide web everything is interconnected with everything so we are very very detailed or inside I go to my cabinet I'm thinking I need a cup and a plate I got the cup in the plate I don't remember that the cabinet is open just like I don't remember my wife told me or we could go take out the garbage I took out the cup and the plate now I got to fill up the cup and fill up the plate I don't even have place in my hand to close the cabinets right because this is what I'm doing I see the detail in front of me that says the big picture I don't see it's very hard for us to see the big picture we see the prat we don't see the clown in Judaism there are protein there's details laws hollowness infinite amount of details that are vital critical is the essence of Jewish life and Jewish law it's the bloodline of the Jewish people and of Jewish history but then there's Taurus at the cloud the encompassing collective and individual truths that define the energy the ambience the message and the power of of Judaism and you know I was at a hope of the other day I was officiating at a hapa and the couple was a secular Jewish couple and there were a few hundred secular Jews sitting at the Kaaba and those are always great opportunities to be able to bequeath some fundamentals of Yiddish guides to people who never had a Jewish education and the little things they do know are usually very very stereotypical things they weren't in a newspaper I read in an article or saw a movie and they often don't never had a chance to appreciate a deeper dimension of it it's the stereotypical statements and observations about religious Jews or Torah observant Jews or Jewish orthodoxy or ha-lo etc and I was working with this couple and I wanted very much that they should appreciate the concept of mikvah the mitzvah of mikvah and I was having a difficult time imparting it to the couple I knew who they were they asked me to officiate so I chose a moment at the Hopa and I said you know we have here a couple getting married it's always a beautiful moment at the beginning it's fresh full of dreams full of promises full of vision full of excitement and then there's boredom dis monotony you know every couple dreams of two aspects in the relationship there's a fire like relationship and a water like relationship we all want fire and we all want water what's the difference fire is hot and passionate and electrifying it represents a relationship that is full of electricity excitement zest passion love water represents a relationship that is calm tranquil more placid more consistence every couple wants both on one hand we want a fiery relationship on the other hand we want a water like relationship there's a challenge however and that is fire and water never coexist the greatest scientific mind has not yet discovered you have fire and water coexisting either the fire evaporates the water or the water extinguishes the blaze you can't have fire in water coexisting and that's why you'll see there are couples that have fiery relationships but when they get into a fight oh my god it's volatile it's intense they're both intense their fiery but what the attention goes in the negative you don't want to be there and then there are couples that have water like relationships they're calm almost like a boyfriend a girlfriend like business partners you could rely on each other but there's an oomph that's missing there's a passion that's missing and everybody wants fire and water and they haven't yet to figure it out how and I said here is the brilliance of the divine creator articulated to the Taira and what he told every couple was this is how it works two weeks fire two weeks water because fire and water will not coexist there's a time for fire and there's a time for water the time for water is a time when you have to learn to respect boundaries to realize that I am NOT you and you are not me and we have to talk about ourselves our issues our challenges our disagreements in our relationship and then there's a time of bonding in a fiery fashion another two weeks the cuts grabber once said in Yiddish ibanez Val do please do and do please do well it's been a tradition if station do business do opera it's been a palace beneath Khan dooba dooba dooba dooba needs it do please do you got it I'll translate if I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I then I am NOT I and you are not you but if I am I because I am I and you are you because you are you then I am I and you are you and now we can begin to schmooze that's the difference between fire and water there's a time when differences fall apart as the fire disintegrates all the differences and creates one cohesive passionate flame and then there's the time of water the respect the boundaries when the relationship has to learn about respect for the of the person's individuality and that's where conversation becomes critically important and I said let me tell you traveling the world no mind has figured out how fire and water can coexist the best remedy for this send her my regards the best and tell her she should have come she's missing a good one the better the best remedy for this is two weeks and two weeks which is why it's concluded through again the institution of mikvah which is the water not my own show of in the divine natural water which is the staple of the mickeleh I want to conclude with the following story it touched me very deeply and for me it's an example of this tourist Crescent we're talking about I heard this from a Jew he was a rabbi in Springfield Massachusetts name is rabbi Dovid Adelman he had a school he passed away a number of years ago at the age of 94 fifty years he ran a Jewish day school in Springfield Massachusetts and he told me the following personal experience he had which taught me so much about communicating with the Jewish people today especially with the Jewish youth and especially an understanding of what terrorist hazard is what feminine terrors and he said that he was a yeshiva boy learning in Brooklyn in the early 1940s he was a teenager learning in yeshiva he learned in the Habad yeshiva called time set minimum on 770 Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn during the lifetime of the six Lubavitch Rebbe who died in 1950 Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Schneersohn the father-in-law of the most recent Lubavitch Europe and he said he's standing at an elevator there in the achieve is that near the elevator and he's snoozing with another boy and who walks out the door a man who would later become the Lubavitcher Rebbe Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson who at the time was the son-in-law of his father-in-law who was at that time the Lubavitch are ever known as there are attributes and he sees two boys smoothing rabbi Adelman and somebody else or by Fogelman and he says to them and you disheveled hair in a fresh convert for Evan you want to hear afresh as we would say you know fresh or fresh out of the oven a new Vaart a new inside I just heard from my father although from there but they said of course and this is what the Future lebara cherub of blessed memory would tell them in 1942 or 43 he said a lot of Druze come into shul here including secular Jews I have a custom my custom is I'm warm to everybody I display warmth to everybody and I'm a chiropractor and the were older Hassidim who came to me and they said this is wrong behavior because these are Jews who are not for them and by displaying love to them it could sound like you're giving a half-shirt you're giving a kosher certificate on their desecration of many mitzvahs you should be more cold and rigid and the future the barber chair ever tells are by Adelman who tells me I did not know if I was right or wrong so I went up to my father-in-law the previous Lubavitch Rebbe Rabbi Yosef in second I asked him the question I said I have a custom to embrace all Jews with love and some of the older Hassidim told me is the wrong thing to he said my father-in-law just now there Abbott looked at me and he said every father and mother when they have a baby they love that baby with their entire heart and their entire soul that's how God made it if they're healthy functional parents they love the child with every fiber of their being and you would think there's no more place for love in the heart and yet when they have another child somehow the heart expands and they have infinite love for the second child and with the third child comes again infinite love and the love just keeps on growing with every single child and yet he said in Yiddish sometimes a baby is born and the baby is born with a challenge where the baby develops a challenge heaven forbid an illness an infection baby is crippled baby is disabled there may be a blemish in a certain part of the body and the child experiences a severe limitation and he said for this child the parents possess and I'll say it in yudish an Aegon article observed a unique unparalleled love even though you would think how could you love more you already loved all of your children infinitely but this child who's suffering this child who's struggling with something for this child they have a special special place in their heart because of their sensitivity towards the difficulties of this child they don't love him less they don't love her less they love this child much more there's a special empathy that healthy normal loving parents after such a child and then he said these words dear boy no you shall oil Amash n loves every Jew like an only child the love is infinite the love is absolute the love is unconditional the love is unwavering nothing could sever stifle suppress obliterate or even diminish dilute mitigate or compromise the love the love is apps Lewton infinite to every single drew but sometimes God has a child who has a challenge a child who's lacking something and he said I heedless lake nichkhun's filling I drew doesn't put on tefillin there's something missing in their arm Oh drew doesn't learn Tara there's something missing there's such challenge in in the mind in the mouth a Jew doesn't celebrate Shabbos doesn't like Shabbos candles there's something missing in the home a Jew doesn't keep the Mitzvah of a couple doesn't keep the Mitzvah of mikvah there's another component that's missing Hashem looks at these children who are missing something who are devoid of a certain meaning of a certain inspiration of a certain depth of a certain Mitzvah and these children ah he professes a unique unparalleled love to them precisely because of his sensitivity to what they're lacking and he looked at him and he said do freeze it with the neighbors that you continue to behave my god that's what I want you to behave and I found it fascinating when he told me the story Raphael oh man cuz who would have suspected that form all people in the last generation the Lubavitch Rebbe is a kernel of rock I had doubts about kirov should I be my character now but he did and yet once he heard from his rapper what's the proper method he never turned back and then I understood the difference of Tyrus M s and Tyrus hasent Tyrus casa this deteriorate at always sees the endless flow of love of energy of empower of interconnectivity between all the people between the world and our sham between heaven and earth between the body and the soul between the spiritual and the physical that's what yes it is yes it is connectivity the word Alva our love is the same game at RIA it's 13 samyama kriya like a hot oneness it's acid it's Alva that create oneness between people between God and the people between heaven and earth this was the mistake of the spies they understood Judaism as a separation between heaven and earth if we go and tear it all we won't be able to sustain our Judaism we have to stay in the desert they didn't understand the terror of Casa de Toyota of interconnectedness the terror of cohesiveness the Torah which is holistic the terror which is which encompasses all of reality in the entire world the tire of watermeion which is macabre my in the Gomorrah says you're in the mahkum Guevara lahmacun amok which is why this Mitzvah of mikvah to was given to the Jewish woman and so tonight as you say goodbye to your faithful leaders of the mikveh how many years 12 years 15 years ah 50 years and they say that that 15 years went by like two days they went by like two days poram and sahasrara the two happiest days right the two happiest and exciting days in the Jewish calendar I conclude with congratulations to this community from maintaining and continuing to maintain and only grow and foster this most incredible powerful institution the crown jewel of every Jewish community the crown jewel of every Jewish gorilla of every Jewish Society of every Jewish city and every community and may Hashem allow you and help you to go from strength to strength to build and beautify and add in this great Mitzvah of McGavin raise continued to raise that civis Hashem the soldiers of the reborn shall Elam through those mirrors which created the kir that brought kedusha antara sanctity impurity to the Jewish world until the moment of his Iraq the alaykum I am to her to hurt them from here BIA may know our main thank you very much thank you this class is brought to you by the achieve Annette please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at triple w dot they ueshiba net / donate