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Discovering Your Personal Relationship With Hashem
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Rabbi YY Jacobson giving a lecture for Emet Outreach Center, pm EST, Tuesday, 11 Iyar, 5780, May 5, 2020 Art by Rivka Krinsky. To see for all her artwork go to https://www.rivkakrinsky.com
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Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
thank you so so much Thank You rabbi
rittenberg Thank
You Emmett the great extraordinary
organization the Emmett Outreach Center
located
its Center in Queens New York thank you
for this great privilege and invitation
and opportunity we had a smooth as we
had a class together a few weeks ago
just during the beginning of the crisis
or closer to the beginning of the crisis
and here we are now once again this
evening I really want to welcome the
hundreds and hundreds of people who are
joining us from MS via zoom chat I want
to welcome the hundreds of people
joining us via the Achieva dotnet I want
to welcome the hundreds of people
joining us via Torah anytime and the
various live streams YouTube etc we have
Jews literally gathered here of course
from New York from Emmet but literally
from all over the world even people who
are not sleeping much these days in
Europe in Israel they're also joining us
now so I want to welcome all of you from
the United States all of you from Europe
from South Africa from Asia of course
from our holy land and Australia
wherever you are thank you thank you so
much for coming I send you my deepest
love's love and blessings and prayers to
stay healthy and as Rabbi Ruttenberg
said tonight's class is dedicated for
this special and beloved memory of Rabbi
Yosef hi and margarita he
extraordinary couple beacons of of love
and and light and camaraderie in and
dedication and I want to welcome their
family and thank you for making this
happen and thank you all of you for
being here the great advantage of doing
this over zoom and over technology is
you could fall asleep in middle of my
presentation and I will not take it to
heart even though with zoom I could see
some of you but you could fall asleep
also you can chew gum you can crack nuts
you can eat you can enjoy your ice cream
which usually is difficult and
distracting for me when I give a lecture
but now feel free and live it up and
knock yourself out my dear friends so
rabbi Ruttenberg the director of MS who
has become a very special friend asked
me to address this evening a very
important and a very loaded topic and
it's called developing a personal
intimate relationship with God and I
think this is I thank you for choosing
this topic because I think it's the
unique opportunity today to focus on
this question how do I develop a
personal real authentic and intimate
relationship with God as rabbi
Ruttenberg said everybody is welcome to
send in their questions I'm going to
speak and then after my presentation we
will take questions you could share
whatever is on your mind on your heart
on your soul rabbi Ruttenberg we'll read
your questions you can also type them in
on the yeshiva dotnet if that's easier
for you if you're not on zoom' and I
will look up the questions over there as
well Lena there so you know one of the
brilliant things that came out in this
entire devastating pandemic is
extraordinary humor sometimes I get
clips with such great anecdotes and and
jokes people sense of humor has really
accelerated I guess at a time of crisis
humor is one of the degree one of the
great tools to release tension the old
saying goes what you can laugh at you
can survive that's why the Jewish people
have always had a niche for humor the
name of the first Jewish boy is its hook
it hook means he shall laugh why would
the first Jewish boy born a Jew be named
he shall laugh and the answer perhaps
says God was giving us a lesson he said
that which you can laugh at you will be
able to survive not only survive but you
will be able to emerge from it more
strong and more blessed so allow me to
begin with
an anecdote about two Jews mr. Berkowitz
and Mr Rabinowitz if there is a mr.
Berkowitz and Rabinowitz with us tonight
it's not you it's your fourth cousin
once-removed
mr. Berkowitz and Mr Rabinowitz were
business partners
they were also avid golfers they loved
golf anyway
one day Berkowitz calls up his friend
Rabinowitz and he says Rabinowitz listen
up these buyers we have been schmoozing
up and trying to cultivate their
business call to say that they have a
reservation for us to meet them to play
golf at their exclusive Country Club
it's gonna be this coming Saturday at 9
o'clock a.m. it's exclusive it's
extraordinary this is going to be
private intimate time with them an
unbelievable opportunity for business
Rabinowitz
tells his friend Berkowitz he says sorry
I can't go it's Shabbos it's Saturday 9
o'clock in the morning Saturday I am in
the synagogue I am in sure this of
course is pre corona days Saturday
morning you go to synagogue so
Rabinowitz tells Berkowitz I can go when
Berkowitz
hears this he says what shul
Shmuel what are you talking about this
is a big deal this is an opportunity of
a lifetime you can't reject such an
opportunity to go golfing with these
multimillionaires besides you are going
to show since when do you go to shul I
know you Rabinowitz you're going to soup
I have known you for decades you're an
atheist when we were kids you were a
communist you got to shrew Rabinowitz
says listen this was all before mr.
Goldstein came to town you remember mr.
Goldstein came to town as a refugee he
didn't have a penny in his pocket now
he's a multi-millionaire some say he may
be worth billions and Goldstein tells me
that it's all because he goes to shul
and he talks to God Rabinowitz
Rabinowitz
Berkowitz screams you expect me to
believe that you are going to show to
talk to God come on you're a radical
atheist don't tell me Bubba mices we
gotta go golfing and Rubinius with
response he says no no no no you don't
get it you don't understand Goldstein
goes to show to talk to God I go to show
in order to talk to mr. goldstein it's
one of these old Jewish anecdotes which
of course expresses the fact that very
often life
Jewish life could become routine we go
through the same patterns the same
habits we do the same thing every day
before Quran or some of us were going to
Sheol every Shabbos or every day or a
Shoshanna and Yom Kippur and very often
you're not sure if he's going to talk to
God or he's going to talk to goldstein
or he's going to a swage and calm down
his grandmother who is going for a kid
their chauffeur Bar Mitzvah what's
missing orphan is the intimate personal
relationship today
nobody's going to synagogue there are a
few people who are still going to
synagogue and they're not doing the
right thing but most of us are doing the
right thing and they're not going we're
not going to synagogue we're quarantine
now very often people look at it as
what's this decree all the shoals are
closed down the schools are closed down
it's sad and we look forward to be
reunited with our communities not just
through technology but also physically
but we have to remember something and
that is in Judaism every single crisis
is always seen as an opportunity never
forever allow a crisis to go by without
maximizing its potential and the same is
true with the present pandemic of covert
19 woe unto us if when this madness is
over we just go back to normal life as
though nothing happened and all we're
asking for is come on let's get the
schools open let's get the stores open
let's get the malls open let's get the
businesses open let's get the industry's
various industries open let's be able to
go to work in the morning and send our
kids to their educational institutes so
life could go back to normal we don't
have to be quarantined that's a
wonderful wish and may it happen and
happen easily and happen swiftly with
everybody fully healthy however what
a pity it will be for us and for the
Jewish people and for the world for
Humanity if we don't emerge from this
crisis far deeper far more blessed far
more expansive far more authentic I
mentioned that another lecture to the
South African community that when Jacob
meets his adversary that mysterious
night in the book of Genesis and the
adversary
tries to kill him all night and finally
he can't defeat Jacob but he dislocates
his sciatica and when the morning comes
when dawn breaks this
adversary this mysterious warrior
or angel who comes to fight Jacob tells
Jacob shall hey me let me go because
dawn broke
and Jacob
says these immortal words Loya shall lay
kazakian bare honey I will not let you
go until you do not bless me what
imagine someone has attacked the middle
of the night by a gangster in a dark
alley you're fighting all night finally
morning comes and the gangster wants to
leave and you say wait well why wait I
need a bro need a blessing Jacob what
are you asking for blessings for from
this fella coal mine Juan Juan punch him
in the nose let him go what's this need
for a blessing and of course the
commentators present many different
perspectives but I shall share one Jacob
was bequeathing a timeless lesson to all
of his descendants for eternity whenever
you face adversity in your life whenever
you're confronted by an angel who wants
to destroy you whenever you're dealing
with a challenge an obstacle a
formidable enemy spiritual physical
psychological emotional financial
social an enemy within or an enemy with
Alex whenever you're confronted with
trauma with skeletons with demons with
ghosts whenever you're dealing with a
crisis that it's affecting whether it's
your health or the health of your loved
ones your economic situation the entire
community and in this case the entire
world it's not only enough to extricate
yourself from the grip of your adversary
and emancipate yourself and set yourself
free that would be insufficient because
if that is your only achievement the
question is why would God put it in your
life in the first place if the entire
goal was just I want to extricate myself
from your terrifying
grip why did I need to meet you and
engage with you in the first place Jacob
says the message and perspective of
Judaism the veltheim found that
sustained the Jewish people for
millennia was that at the end of every
long night we looked at the adversary in
the eyes and we said I will not let you
go Keon Beretania unless I emerge from
this encounter more blessed more wise
more deep I want to emerge a transformed
person I don't only want to run away
from the corona iris yes I want to do
that too but I want to seize the
opportunity we want to seize the
opportunity to welcome a world that is
more unified a world that is more
aligned with its true purpose a humanity
that is more in touch with its core in
its essence we want a Jewish community
that is much more authentic honest
real deep wise I want to emerge as a
much better person a deeper person a
person of much profounder integrity
wisdom enlightenment harmony and
connection if not I say woe unto me that
after such a long night facing this
angel which each one of us faces in our
life all I can say is let me go back to
normal life Jacob says don't make that
mistake I will not let you go if I do
not become more blessed through you my
dearest friends this pandemic has
devastated many a life many of us have
lost relatives parents grandparents
uncles aunts close friends mentors
teachers beacons
leaders of our communities queens the
community of Queens was struck very very
hard just like the community of Borough
Park just like the community of Crown
Heights the community where I live which
is Muncie New York and many other
communities they were struck very very
hard we have lost some of our best our
sweetest and our holiest many more are
struggling for their life and struggling
with health this is not an easy time for
people and yet
we have to always remember that in life
we look at every single challenge and we
say I will not let you go if I do not
emerge from this more blessed I remember
when I was sitting Shiva for my late
father in 2005 and
I went out one night to
alley to the driveway when my parents
live in Montgomery Street to Brooklyn it
was a long day and on you're sitting on
that low chair for 12 hours and the
visitors don't the visitors don't stop
and people come till midnight and after
midnight so
I went out you know just to get a little
fresh air and I was standing outside at
the side of the house and my nephew my
brother's son comes out as well and with
tears in my eyes I turned to my nephew
and I say it's
the end of an era my father was really a
larger-than-life personality was an
institution and it was a real seasoned
Jewish journalist for a half a century
so I taught my nephew these are very
colorful and interesting personality so
I told my nephew the end of an era and
without skipping a beat he said
something that stayed with me and it was
comforting he said yes it's the end of
an era and it's also the beginning of a
new one it
struck me the end of an era could be the
end it can also be the beginning of a
new one when one window closes a new one
opens when one door is shut a new
opportunity opens we know that all of us
for the rest of our lives will refer to
Prix Corona and post Corona this is one
for the history books what we were going
through now an invisible virus the size
of 125 nanometers has brought seven
point seven billion people to their
knees not a sector in our civilization
has not been affected and transformed as
a result of this invisible enemy which
you can't see with your naked eye and
you need microscope to be able to see
these microorganisms
and yet the whole world was changed many
of us will yet share this with children
and grandchildren and
great-grandchildren crisis
that is unique the
end of an era but do we just go back to
normal how
how can I be deaf how can I be deaf to
the opportunity how can I be blind to
the potential that is being born right
now as we speak there is a tremendous
potential and light embedded in every
single darkness and this doesn't mean
it's not dark it doesn't mean we wanted
it it doesn't mean it's not tragic it
doesn't mean there's not a lot of pain
in the world it does mean that we have
to make a choice do we just look at
coronavirus as just one of those
devastating crises and that's it and we
want to get rid of it or we emulate and
we repeat the words of our Father Jacob
lie a chalet shakopee in Beira on me I
will not send you away unless
I come out more blessed and one of the
key areas that I myself have found
myself working on and I think is
extremely relevant to so many of us is
with the shows closed down with shopping
centers and malls closed down we all
retreat it to our own corner our own
home we can't Davin anymore with the
community we cannot study anymore
physically with the community although
we're using this technology and it's
amazing our kids are not going to school
they're being homeschooled even if they
have school through the house it's a
very different reality many of us most
of us are not going to work so
now when I get up in the morning to pray
it's just me alone me and God alone is
this sad on some level on some level
it's an amazing opportunity this is the
time to develop a personal relationship
with God and it's not only through
prayer throughout the day whenever we
are struck with a difficult moment in
life we can do one of two things we
could become cynical [clears throat] or
we can become deeper we
can simply resort to survival instincts
which is normal or we can discover our
innermost strengths we can allow our
innermost light the of our personality a
part of ourselves that we usually are
not in touch with we can get in touch
with and I say to you my dearest sisters
and my dearest brothers open
yourself up to that opportunity because
these things don't happen often and we
don't want them to happen often please
God everybody should be healthy but when
such a thing comes into our world carpe
diem seize that there will not let you
go until you bless me what does my
relationship with God look like what
does your relationship with God look
like do we have a personal relationship
with God what does prayer mean what does
davin II mean the Prophet Jeremiah says
in lamentations shivery sam-i-am labayda
Noah nasha let
your heart pour forth like a water
current in
the presence of the face of God what
does that look like to pour out your
heart as though there was a waterfall in
your heart what does this mean and this
is what I want to address during the
remaining time of our class ways of
internalizing
and experiencing a profound relationship
with God throughout the day but one
particularly focused on the art of
prayer because prayer is the time when
the Torah established the meeting place
and the meeting time between the human
person and the almighty on a daily basis
the Jewish religion we have three
prayers a day morning afternoon evening
Schaffer administer my River on the
Sabbath the holidays we have four on Yom
Kippur we have five what are these
meetings about what is supposed to
happen what are we trying to accomplish
many
people find prayers to be as they have
shared with me over the years at best
monotonous
boring sometimes they actually get
anxious it triggers all types of
negative emotions and
want to try to help you and me change
our paradigms expand our horizons and
really see
how and we can cultivate that much
deeper and more authentic relationship
with God the
first and foremost understanding
of what a relationship with God looks
like of what prayer looks like I
experienced
a few years ago one day in a building I
lived in Brooklyn on New York Avenue I
was living in a building there and I
went to get the mail and when I went out
to get the mail I had
to go upstairs to the fourth floor where
my sister-in-law was living and I went
to the elevator and I see a lovely
african-american brother who seemed like
an electrician or a plumber standing at
the elevator and he's talking he's
talking and talking making with his
hands so I thought that he has an
earpiece and he's on the telephone when
I got closer I saw that he didn't have
anything in his ear and he was just
talking and I
wondered about that you know cuz he had
this animated conversation and I tried
to him and I said holy brother do you
mind if I ask you a question he said go
ahead my brother I said who are you
talking to I thought you had headsets or
an earpiece you're talking on the phone
I see he got nothing who are you talking
to you don't get to yourself who are you
talking to us and he tells me he says
I'm
talking to God I said really standing at
the elevator door and he says yeah you
know I have a very hard day I'm working
very very hard so I stopped at the
elevator have a few minutes see I'm
waiting for the elevator and we had a
very slow elevator in our building you
could wait there 20 minutes for the
elevator 10 minutes whatever it was he
says we'll never have an opportunity I
share with God what I have been
experiencing and I share with God what
I'm going to experience and I asked him
for his guidance and his help so I said
so what were you talking now to God
about he said I was talking to God about
where I'm coming from I was talking to
God about where I'm going I'm going to
this in this apartment they have to
accomplish this I still have to go here
and go there and go there and I'm asking
for God to be with me and help me that's
what I'm doing and I'm
standing there perplexed and inspired
and I thought to myself wow this
african-american brother is teaching me
something so powerful about prayer it's
real it's real he was standing in front
of an elevator and talking to God I
thought he's talking on the phone I once
heard from dr. Twersky that he was once
at the Kaiser at the Kotel at the
Western Wall in Jerusalem and he was
standing there and he was praying I
think it was minister of the afternoon
service at the war and there's a Jew
standing there and he hears the Jew he's
not eavesdropping but he standeth here's
a drew talking to the wall and the
Jew starts talking about a dentist
appointment that he went to and what the
dentist said or what the dentist did and
then the Jew interrupts himself and he
says oh I'm here mighty love hugs at
tomorrow boom I'm oh I told this to
you yesterday already I don't have to
repeat let's continue and after Twerski
said at that moment I learned what
prayer is a Jew is sharing with God what
the dentist said yesterday and then he
says oh I share this already yesterday
let's move on with the conversation what
does this represent it represents the
basic idea in Judaism that we believe at
the core of the universe there
is love the universe is not death to
your pleas to your cries
to your experiences to your emotions
you're not just a random mutation an
insignificant blimp on the surface of
infinity you live and you die and
crumble when the time comes based on
some random equation you were conceived
in love you
were created with a mission birth is God
saying you matter and birth is God
saying that something in the world will
remain incomplete without your presence
your light and your contribution the
glorious institution of prayer is the
idea that every single person must know
that God wants to hear what is going on
in your life share
it with him so you'll say an infinite
God wants to know what's happening in my
life yes that is the essence of the of
one of the most fundamental ideas in
Judaism the universe is not blind to
your agony death to your suffering
oblivious
to your journey at the core of reality
is the presence the consciousness of a
divine infinite moral loving creator who
loves you infinitely and loves you
unconditionally and wants a relationship
with you in parentheses
I am now going to insert a profound
philosophical / spiritual idea I'm not
going to elaborate on it but I just want
to share
it there is an ancient question how we
reconcile two opposite ideas in Judaism
God's
knowledge and free choice the question
is very simple it was already raised by
my manatees Rambam in the laws of
repentance I think it's chapter 5 my
manatees raises the obvious
philosophical question if God knows the
future so God knows everything rabbi why
why is going to do tomorrow
next month the next year and he knows
when I'm gonna wake up and he knows if
I'm gonna do the right thing or the
wrong thing and he knows if I'm gonna
eat she stay even though I'm not
supposed to eat cheesecake and he knows
if I'm gonna eat cockroach cake even
though I'm not supposed to eat cockroach
cake and he knows what grab I Brooklyn
burgers gonna do for the next 10 years
100 years hundred 50 years and he knows
what every single one is gonna do so I
don't have choice how do I have choice
because if I am forced to do what God
knows I'm going to do so that means I
have no choice my actions are compelled
by God's previous knowledge and if I
could choose according to my own
volition and conviction and choice and I
can prove God wrong so then it means God
doesn't know everything so we ever a big
contradiction you say God as clueless
God doesn't know what I'm gonna choose
not God doesn't know if God knows then I
can't choose otherwise because by
tomorrow it's already predetermined
interesting
question and the commentators and the
philosophers and the catalyst and the
Mystics and the Masters of ashcoff of
perspective have spilled
March Inc on this question one
of the best answers is Maimonides answer
you know my mom and he says my man that
he says oh we can't understand you
think you're gonna understand how God's
mind works God knows and you have choice
and derive it one of the great
commentators on the Rumba rybnikov run
band double bass choirs is very critical
he says you ask a question and then you
say oh we don't understand don't ask
questions if we don't understand he's
very critical of my mind that he's you
now this is not our discussion so I'm
not getting into the details but I want
to share with you a little insight that
comes from the baal shem tov the baal
shem tov was the founder of the Hasidic
movement he was born in 1698 he passed
away in 1760 onsh Lewis and he
revolutionized the landscape of Jewish
thought and Jewish life and Jewish
experience through his teachings and his
students and he has a very short
teaching about this now I have to tell
you the truth I'm not sure I understand
it but I think I feel it a little bit
I'm not sure I'm not sure I understand
it but I think I feel it a little bit
and I'll tell you what the baal shem tov
says the baal shem tov says of course
god's knowledge is a mission God is a
mission he's omnipresent meaning he's
everywhere and he knows everything and
if his knowledge is infinite winning he
knows every single detail about
everybody's past present and future it's
supposed to deny me free choice and yet
the baal shem tov says there's another
reality that is as potent and that is
not only God's infinite knowledge but
also God's infinite love God loves me
God loves you and God craves more than
everything else a personal relationship
with you and for that relationship to be
meaningful you have to have choice
because if not you're just a
pre-programmed computer you can't have a
real intimate relationship with a
computer because a computer is brilliant
and marvelous but ultimately it just is
a product of the programmer what you
program and that's what you get there's
no creativity there's no choice so for
God to have a real relationship with you
like equals like partners like friends
like marriage partners this choice says
the Baal Shem Tov God's love shrimps
God's knowledge so even though biz
knowledge dictates that I don't have
free choice but God's love to me is even
deeper than God's knowledge and because
of the love I do have free choice he so
to speak suspends his infinity to allow
for free choice this is a parenthesis I
come back to this key point in Judaism
mainly what does pray represent God is
not death to your life he wants to know
what's going on with you and that's an
incredible idea the idea of dominating
the idea of pray in the morning in the
afternoon in the evening it's literally
like in a marriage your husband your
wife wants to know what is going on with
your life you say oh we already spent on
yesterday that's not our marriage works
if you don't
newest leaf heed the relationship you
start drifting away that's how marriages
work it's not like other relationships
you have a class a classmate an old
friend sometime you don't speak for a
couple of months and then after a couple
of months you call up you say hey Harry
how are you Oh George what's going on
hey Sylvie how are you eh Helene what's
going on how is everything how have you
been and you just continue the
conversation where you left at three
months ago try doing that with your wife
or don't yeah three months later oh I'm
back it doesn't work that way why
because the relationship is so powerful
and the relationship is elevated to such
a magnitude and you're dealing with two
people who are very different from each
other and yet they're so close to each
other that this relationship needs to be
fed it needs to be nurtured it needs to
be nurtured on a daily basis and not
just one time a day and if not who
naturally start drifting away God
becomes vulnerable the infinite God
chooses
he doesn't have to but he chooses to
become vulnerable and say I'm waiting
for you I want to hear what's going on
in your life share it with me I'm not
deaf to your situation that is the first
fundamental truth behind prayer and
behind developing a personal
relationship with God and it's this
feeling it's this experience that gave
men and women of faith so much
resilience and so much hope it's not
that it takes away all the pain in the
world it's not that faith eliminates
pain people of faith don't struggle real
people of faith struggle as much as
everybody else what it does do is it
means that there's somebody who cares
there's somebody I could talk to there's
somebody who's ready to embrace me and
you know you see this most you see this
most in the book of the hilum The Book
of Psalms and I would encourage you to
read through the Book of Psalms but with
a translation that you can understand
and internalize today you have great
translations in English and in Yiddish
and in Russian and in French and Spanish
Italian Portuguese and Hebrew that is
more contemporary it's worthwhile to
read through even if you could read a
chapter a few chapters a day it's
fascinating book because it's not just
brilliant but the emotions of it you
literally go on a journey with King
David and you see how we dealt with
crises in life because almost every
chapter is dealing with another
challenge and another crisis in fact the
book of tehilim is divided by the months
by the month many people finished it to
hilum over the month over 30 days
because there's like a few chapters you
say everyday there's 150 sections poems
and tehilim over 30 days you say every
day a few chapters you finish it by the
month so I mean people even finish it
during the week but it's very powerful
when you read The Book of Psalms you see
what it means to have a personal
relationship with God King David just
shears his soul he shares his agony he
shares his doubts he shares his fears he
shares his insecurities he shares his
trauma he shares all of his experiences
with his creator you see that he knows
and he feels in every bone of his body
that God is not death to his cry nor is
God death to your life and to your
experience so seize the moment and
cultivate that relationship talk Shearer
meditate
connect
that's that number one which brings me
to step number two and here I want to
address a very interesting word in
Hebrew in Hebrew grammar when
you say in Hebrew I'm going to davon how
do you say it those of you know Hebrew
say a knee or left the hips parallel an
ear left the HISP a leg only about love
depends if you're Ashkenazi too smart
what does Allah hittable L mean I'm
going to Davin I'm going to pray right
now this is interesting because if you
know a little bit Hebrew dictionary
grammar let's say I want to say I'm
going to dress my child I'm going to
dress my baby yeah say I'm near left
Lahaul bish at I yell actually Attell
dart I'm going to dress my child what if
I want to say I'm going to get dressed
myself not dress someone else then I say
Annie oh let the heat Labiche the hit la
beche now prayer seemingly is the idea
I'm going to pray to God but we don't
say that we Sandia Leslie hit the
parallel late Paulo means I'm going to
do something within myself what
is this that I want to do within myself
weed is the word Fela come from what is
the root of the words Fela which we
translate his prayer in Genesis Jacob is
separated from his beloved son Joseph
for 22 years 22 years he has not seen
his son Joseph since the brothers have
taken him and cast him into a pit and
sold him into slavery after 22 years
Jacob
is reunited with Joseph and at the end
of his life he tells Joseph -
Ethel I feel Alti I never imagined I
never anticipated that I'm going to see
your face Mohini
hair like Kim I see gammas are a fan
here not only that God show me you but
God also showed me your children the
word he uses his filthy filthy means I
didn't know you feel all the I didn't
expect I didn't imagine I didn't
anticipate so what is Fela Fela means
imagination
expand dissipation the heath parallel
means like
little Abeche I'm going to get dressed
leap Allah I'm going to imagine I never
imagined life alone tenement so what's
elite fellow I'm going to imagine that's
what happening is what are you going to
imagine now who leads the prayers the
prayer is led by a hassan a cantor what
does the word kazan where does it come
from comes to the words cuz i'm vision
so the cancer is not just singing the
prayers he's presenting a vision kazan
is a vision hezonia shall live below
means I'm going to imagine a vision I'm
going to anticipate something I'm going
to open myself up to a no idea what is
this well
what is this that I'm opening myself up
to this
my friends is a very very powerful idea
prayer in Judaism is about visionary
thinking what's the visionary thinking
of prayer and the answer is it's the
ability to be able to see myself not
just as a small petty finite mortal
limited moody struggling creature who
got lots of struggles and lots of issues
you can talk with my therapist but
rather prayer
means I am cultivating within myself a
vision I want
to be able to imagine myself in a new
way how I want to be able to imagine
myself as an ambassador of the divine in
this world as an
extension of God in this world as a
manifestation of God's infinite light in
this world as an ambassador of the
divine on our world an ambassador of
infinity an ambassador of love light
hope healing wisdom enlightenment unity
and redemption you see there's two
dimensions in me and every single one of
us there's two sides there's two
dimensions there's a side of me that is
filled with fear and anxiety and panic
and hysteria and jealousy are you
familiar with this if you're not great
but I have to deal with this there's a
side within me that is petty small just
operating on a survival instinct fight
or flight but there's
another side to me and the other side to
me is deeper and that's the part of me
that is really infinite it's the part of
me that is a manifestation of God that
Tonya says that every person has two
souls we operate on two levels of
consciousness one is called an animal
consciousness and one is called the vine
consciousness which he describes as a
Haley la Comi mal mama SH de they
mentioned within your core your
consciousness that is actually a
fragment of God it's a piece of divinity
it's a ray of infinity it's the
manifestation of God's light in this
world a relationship
with God every day particularly there in
prayer is the ability to step away from
seeing myself only in terms of pettiness
and smallness and insecurity to be able
to see myself to imagine myself for who
I really am and Who am I really I am
really a complete partner when the
creator of the world I am God's light in
this world you are God's light in this
world and that's why jealousy
always comes from ignorance because
nobody can extinguish your light on the
contrary by
you shining your light you help me shine
my light everyone has their unique way
of manifesting God's light and God's
love in this world you have a unique
contribution you are not just a victim
you're not just a servant you're much
more than that you're a full partner you
are divine yours you are so to speak the
peace of God that he sends down to
Planet Earth in order to change the
world and to bring light into darkness
can you imagine yourself from that
perspective can you make decisions from
that perspective can you operate from
that perspective can you communicate
with your spouse and your children from
that perspective can you communicate
with yourself from that perspective now
this is not easy this is often very very
challenging and that's why this
relationship needs to be cultivated and
nurtured it
must blossom and it's not enough just to
do it once a week once a month cause
intuitively I go back to my insecurities
intuitively I go back to my small tiny
miniature self a relationship
with God means a relation with myself
with my core with my deepest deepest
identity as an ambassador of infinity
that's a powerful challenge but it's
also an incredible an incredible
opportunity now
you know my dearest friends I want
to share with you two stories two
stories about two extraordinary
individuals and
they
have touched me so deeply because
it taught me what a personal
relationship with God is some
of you remember him a few years ago the
Jewish world lost one of its heroes dr.
Elie Wiesel Elie Wiesel professor Wiesel
I had the privilege of knowing him
personally because my late father and
the late dr. Wiesel worked very closely
together in journalism for many years
and they remained close friends
I remember
one
Rosh Hashana quite
a few years ago Elie Wiesel penned a
letter to God and he
published this letter in the New York
Times and I have to read a few excerpts
of this letter that Elie Wiesel
published in the New York Times I think
there was a day before a Hashanah around
20 years ago 20 or 25 years ago I read
master
of the universe let
us make up its
time how long can we go on being angry
more than fifty years have passed since
the nightmare was lifted many things
good unless good if since happened to
those who survived it they learned to
build on ruins family life was recreated
children were born friendship struck of
course
Elie Wiesel lost much of us family the
holocaust his father died his mother
died siblings he survived Auschwitz
Buchenwald he
wrote his well-known
book night and in night those of you who
read night about that the night the
night of of Jewish history Auschwitz
remember how Elie Wiesel describes his
his
challenges with God that God's existence
allowing
the sight of a child a little child
being hung on the gallows by the SS so
50 years later he's penning a letter in
the New York Times saying
family life was recreated does this mean
Elie Wiesel writes that the wounds in
their soul have healed they will never
heal as long as a spark of the flames of
Auschwitz and Treblinka glows in their
memory so long will my joy be incomplete
what about my faith in you master of the
universe I now realize that I never lost
it not even over there during the
darkest hours of my life I don't know
why I kept on whispering my daily
prayers and
[snorts]
I kept on whispering those reserved for
the Sabbath and for the holidays but I
did recite them often with my father and
on Rosh Hashana Eve with hundreds of
inmates at Auschwitz was it because the
prayers remained a link to the vanished
world of my childhood in my testimony I
have written harsh words burning words
about your role in our tragedy I would
not repeat them today but I felt them
then I felt them in every cell of my
being why did you allow if not enable
the killer day after day night after
night to torment kill and annihilate
tens of thousands of Jewish children why
were they abandoned by your creation
these thoughts were in no way destined
to diminish the guilt of the guilty
they're established culpability is
irrelevant to my problem with you master
of the universe in my child that I did
not expect much from human beings but I
expected everything from where were you
God of kindness in Auschwitz what was
going on in heaven at the celestial
tribunal while your children were marked
for humiliation isolation and death only
because they were Jewish at one point
one point they began wondering whether I
was not unfair with you after all ouch
which was not something that came down
ready-made from heaven it was conceived
by men implemented
by men staffed by men and their aim was
not only to destroy us but you as well
what we not to think of your pain to
watching your children suffer at the
hands of your other children haven't you
also suffered as we Jews now enter the
High Holidays preparing ourselves to
pray for a year of peace and happiness
for our people and all people let us
make up master of the universe in spite
of everything that happened yes in spite
let us make up for the child in me it is
unbearable to be divorced from you so
long wow-wow
friends
when I read this it struck such a deep
chord in me Elie Wiesel debated and
fought God for 50 years he did not agree
with God he didn't justify the Holocaust
he did it rationalize it he wrestled
with the divine but he felt in his bones
that there was someone listening to what
he was saying he could speak to God he
can cry to God he can get upset at God
he can cheer his heart and his tears
with God Elie Wiesel lost almost
everything his mother his father his
baby sister was slain by the Germans on
his own skin he
experienced the blackest chapter in
Jewish and human history you know he
refused for many years to get married he
felt that it was unjust to bring Jewish
children into a world that would be so
cruel I heard this from him myself yet
he rebuilt his life he got married he
had a boy who he named after his
murdered father Alesha we both had a
Gris at the same time and he inspired
millions of people not only to remember
the victims of the Holocaust but to live
better and more noble lives he spent
decades fighting peace fighting for
peace and fighting anti-semitism
standing up to injustice and for me it
showed what it means to have a personal
relationship with God the power of
prayer he may have wrestled with God
that's
what the word yes rail means yes Ryle
means R Israel you have wrestled with
God and men and you have prevailed but
he knew that he has somebody to wrestle
with there was somebody who was holding
him as King David says in 23 chapter 23
of Psalms CaMKII a litigate some of his
lawyer a rocky after him are they even
as I walk in the valley of the shadow of
death I shall not fear any evil because
you are with me I'm going to conclude
with one more story which inspired me
very very deeply and inspires me till
today and then we'll open it up to your
conversation and your feedback there was
a Jews many of you remember him his name
was Simon Wiesenthal Simon Wiesenthal
passed away in 2005 he was in a foster
Ian Jew a Holocaust survivor he spent
four and a half years in German
concentration camps and he dedicated his
life to be a Nazi hunter after the war
he became famous for this work I think
he dedicated most of his life to track
down and gather information on fugitive
Nazi so they could be brought to justice
a number of years ago there was a
conference of European rabbis in
Bratislava in Slovakia and the rabbi's
honored the 91 year old Simon Wiesenthal
with an award you know
what they gave him as a reward they gave
him a sitter a prayer book Simon
Wiesenthal gets up at this conference
and he speaks to the rabbis and he
shares with them an experience he had
with one of the great American rabbis
known as the Blazer silver the Blazer
silver passed away in 1968 was among
America's foremost Jewish leader he was
very involved in the vaad hatzala and
rescuing Jews from Europe and he was the
chief rabbi of Cincinnati he was the
head of our goodness Sarah Bonham an
organization that brought together many
rabbis and Simon Wiesenthal tells the
following stories as I was in math house
and after the liberation rabbi
silver came from the United States to
help the survivors settle in the DP
camps rabbi silver organized a special
prayer service and he invited Simon
Wiesenthal to join the other survivors
in praying Simon
Wiesenthal turns to rabbi Laser silver
and he says no way I will not join these
prayers and I'll tell you why when I was
in the camp I saw many different types
of people do many types of things there
was one religious man in whose presence
I experienced so much on I'll tell you
why this guy managed to smuggle a sitter
a Jewish prayer book into the camp I was
amazed that he was ready to risk his
life in order to bring a seed or a
prayer book into the camp to my horror
the next day my or of this man was
shattered I realized he was no religious
man he was renting the siddur in
exchange for people giving him a little
piece of their breads I was so angry
with his Jew how can he take a prayer
book and use it to take away another
Jews last piece of bread I am NOT going
to pray if this is how religious Jews
behave in Bergen
and nach Hause and they use a prayer
book in order to manipulate people to
give them their last piece of bread I
will not be part of this as Simon
Wiesenthal turned to walk away rabbi
laser silver tapped him on the shoulder
and he says in Yiddish I the best on are
the best on Nar which bluntly means your
foolish your foolish Wiesenthal
was intrigued why are you calling
foolish call me secular call me
apathetic called me assimilated call me
angry why are you calling me foolish and
your blazes silver told him these words
you know
my fellow Jew he said why are you
looking at this manipulative June who
rented out his sitter to take from
people their last meals why
are you focusing on this person why
would you focus on something else why
don't you look at the dozens of Jews who
were ready to give up their last morsel
of bread in order to be able to use a
prayer book to be able to talk to God
why don't you look at these
extraordinary people who in spite of all
their suffering fell that they can
connect to their Creator people who had
nothing left to their lives but they
knew one thing they still had left and
that is an indestructible relationship
with their Creator that can never be
shattered and for this they were ready
to give up everything why don't you
focus on that rather than on this one
person who was maybe behaving or
behaving in an inappropriate way Simon
Wiesenthal mattered he turned around and
he joined the prayer service with Rabbi
silver and he shared this story 60 years
later with European rabbis in the 1990s
who honored Simon Wiesenthal here
you have it my dear friends what it
means to have a personal relationship
with God to know that in all
circumstances God is your best friend
God is always with you I may not
understand him I may not be able to wrap
my brain around God but I always know
that he's ready for a conversation I
know that he's there to hug me to listen
to me God often challenges me challenges
me and very very profound
but the challenges are never there to
destroy me and crush me they're there to
bring out the best in me and to allow me
to shine my light on the world yes
sometimes I can't feel it sometimes I'm
feeling all these other types of
emotions which are normal and human and
yet if God is worth worshiping it's not
a God whom I can contain in my limited
to pound or three pround brain it's not
a God who I can reduce to my own
expectations and my own imagination
it's a God whose infinite who is the
infinite source and cause of all of
existence and who challenges me and
invites me every single day to be in a
relationship with my deepest core what
is my deepest core my deepest core is
the core of my life and the core of all
of life which is Hashem God a personal
relationship with God means above else
above all else a personal relationship
with yourself your deepest self your
innermost self the core of your entire
reality because of the doors of
perception are cleansed everything
appears as is infinity
you are an ambassador of that infinity
in the world and every day you are
capable and I'm capable of building a
relationship with that dimension of self
which then allows each and every one of
us to become an ambassador of love light
hope and healing thank you
[snorts]
and
family
sizes
here should
be in our prayers as well so
I have [clears throat]
a question here how
old
is this person you
started to say as a young what as a
young as
a young single living alone okay
let me tell you what
I think is an answer to your question
and that
is and I think it should be it should be
understood by all of us what
is Hashem when we say a relationship
with Hashem what is this Hashem that
we're talking about I really
want we should understand what it means
what do we mean by this and the answer
of course is and this
is so critical to understand when
this person asks a question what am I
supposed to do to have a relationship
with Hashem I dive in I pray I do all
these things and nothing
is happening
who
is this Hashem Hashem is the essence of
life Hashem
is another word for reality the reality
of reality that is Hashem it's the core
of existence it's the core of reality
which means Hashem is you and you are
Hashem it doesn't mean there's no Hashem
outside of you but it means there's no
you outside of Hashem because
we all are living in reality we are all
part of reality we are all an aspect of
reality and the reality of reality that
is God that is the divine that is the
meaning of the words ain't it Malvado
there's nothing outside of them because
everything in the world is in reality
it's an aspect of divine energy it's a
manifestation of divine energy every
living organism lives with the DNA at
the nucleus of the cell which basically
is at the core of every living existence
those are letters which at their core
are manifestations of divine energy and
the same is true every single cell in
every living organism from the bee to
the mosquito from the lioness to the
elephant
from the hyena to the chimpanzee Lahav
will the human being every single cell
is a manifestation of divine energy and
the same is true with every bush and
every tree and every shrub and every
plant every grain of sand droplet of
rain flake of snow every star and every
galaxy the micro and the macro are
essentially
manifestations of divine energy so you
know what a relationship with God means
a relationship with God means a
relationship with yourself with your
ultimate self with your truest self so
what I'm going to encourage you to do is
start
trying to have try to begin developing a
real relationship with yourself cut
away all your external layers do you
know how to do that shed all those parts
that are not real do you have one person
in your life whom you can have a real
conversation with about your deepest
vulnerabilities about things that bother
you in the profoundest way about who you
are at your core when you begin to
remove the cover-ups with each day you
will be able to develop a relationship
with God because God essentially is the
core of you
yeah
go ahead okay
excellent excellent question you
[laughter]
[gasps]
really don't have to feel dumb you know
if if you're if your child comes home
from school you remember the days when
you can used to go to school right and
something happened in school and you may
know exactly what happened because the
principal called you when your child
comes home from school and says mommy
daddy I want to share with you what
happened in school do you tell your
child oh I know everything don't tell me
nothing I know everything a parent
doesn't do that you don't do that you
welcome the conversation because it's
not about if you know or not it's about
the relationship let's say my son got
into a fight in school for misbehaved in
a school or had a difficult day in
school and the principal called me I
know everything and then my boy comes
home and he says top D I have to share
with you what happened in school do you
I say oh my shirt don't share anything I
know everything go to your room I don't
have to know everything I know
everything that's
the worst thing you can do as a parent
you may know the information but you're
looking for the relationship you want
your son to be able to share everything
with you because that means he trusts
you and that means you can trust him and
that means you can brainstorm together
how to recreate the situation and how to
develop him or her into the person that
knows how to deal with the various
challenges that come across in life
that's the idea of pray you don't have
to inform God of the facts it's it's
extreme seing the facts and presenting
them to your loving father to your
loving mother it's an entirely different
concept
you're not giving God information you're
sharing with God your soul your
experience your essence your feelings
your emotions and God cherish is that
because he's not looking for information
he's looking for the relationship what's
practical ways of building relationships
with ourselves a few things number one
to be able to spend to be able to have
people or at least a person in your life
in whose presence you can think out loud
you
need to have people in your life with
whom you can be completely and brutally
honest whether it's a spouse a close
friend a confidant a therapist a
counselor a rabbi a Rebbetzin a teacher
a mentor but one or two or three people
whom you can really lay your sole beer
it's so so important the Mishna says
acquire for yourself a teacher and a
friend to be able to have that
relationship it allows you to be able to
see what is going on in you and not to
be afraid we are often so afraid of
what's going on inside of us so that's
number one number two it's important to
spend time with yourself spend
time with yourself spend time with
yourself means not texting and not what
zapping and not watching another video
and not busy answering emails but
spending each day time with yourself
looking into yourself meditation
mindfulness is helpful exercise is
helpful prayer is helpful learning is
helpful all these things will you really
retreat back to your core and you simply
spend time with your innermost self and
a lot of interesting things will come up
another very important thing is to make
time to meet your anxiety as though
you're meeting a friend by an
appointment to really make time you
can't always do it sometimes you're busy
with something but to make time to meet
your fears
to meet your insecurities to meet your
anxiety and really like have a
conversation with it to listen to it to
respect it not to judge it and to find
out what is going on because you will
learn a lot of things about yourself
another very very important component is
to be able to challenge yourself if
there are teachers or books or writers
who speak to your soul and resonate with
you learn from them read them listen to
them watch them grow that
way you will continuously grow these are
some basic ideas that I think can help
any of us to develop a deeper
relationship with our core with our core
selves okay
we have over here a lot of questions
came in through the Shema net so let me
see what's going on okay
how
do we know that what we individually
feel down here is replicated
by God above meaning I'm happy he's
happy I am sad he is sad well it's a
very famous expression in the Zohar that
the proverb says my face that I reflect
to the water the water reflects back to
me and the same is true with God that
the face I reflect to God he also
reflects back to me that's why there's
an expression in Yiddish traffic good
benzine good think positive and that
creates positivity when you're in an
upbeat mood when you're a happy person
you open up new channels because the
universe responds to you it's like the
law of attraction but from a much more
even a much more spiritual point of view
and perspective that my attitudes are
not just my own attitudes the human
being is the interlacing link between
heaven and earth so when your heart is
open and when your mood is open
when you open yourself up to faith and
hope and happiness and joy your moods
and your feelings and your emotions
reverberate through the cosmos and
through all of the worlds and just like
a mirror you see what you're showing the
mirror you show the mirror a smile or a
sour face that's what you get back and
that's a very powerful idea in Jewish
mysticism Hashem silca God is your
shadow so the baal shem tov said the
shadow follows you so very often you're
not just a victim you're a full partner
you're a full partner with god can the
rabbi give us some clarification about
very difficult situations in life I have
very difficult situations in life that
God gave me he rescued me also with
great kindness I don't have a problem
with loving God I have a problem with
fearing God I know that God is kind and
forgiving but how am I supposed to
develop fear of God I don't want to fear
God I want to love God not fear God it's
a great question and the answer to your
question is I'm gonna say two points
point number one is what does fearing
God mean fearing God doesn't mean that
you're fearing God because he's
unpredictable and he's a tyrant and he's
gonna punish you and he hates you and
he's gonna take revenge fearing God
really means I'm fearful of ruining such
a powerful relationship you know when
you have an amazing relationship with
somebody you're afraid of doing
something that's going to damage the
relationship and that's what fear of God
means fear of God means I'm afraid to
ruin such an amazing relationship it's
too good it's like you have if you have
an incredible friendship or an
incredible marriage you can cheat on
your friend you can speak behind his
back you can gossip you can slander you
can excuse
me backstab him or back stab her you can
lie maybe nobody will even know but
you're afraid why are you afraid
even if they'll never find out and they
won't punish you're afraid of ruining
such an amazing gift that you have in
your life how can you how can you be so
insensitive and because of a temptation
ruin such a powerful relationship that's
one element of fear another element of
fear is when you realize how much God
loves you and how much he's crazy about
you it becomes pretty scary meaning if
you could love me so so much that's like
pretty scary you know if you wouldn't
love me so much it's like okay I can do
whatever I want but if you love me so
much and you're so connected to me it's
like wow that's a pretty scary thought
that's another idea of fear
of God so fear of God shouldn't be seen
as a negative thing it's a very very
noble it's a very very noble emotion and
feeling and it's a very important
quality in life there's the element of
there's an element of love and there's
the element of or a fear of reverence of
respect as I explained Dena says it
seems like a one-way relationship
between us and God we talk God listens
he never encourages us he never tells us
to keep going he keeps us alive
everything we have is from him but he
doesn't seem to answer us directly there
was once a fellow who came to a rabbi
and he said you know nobody in the world
thinks about me I'm all alone nobody
ever ever even has a thought to think
about my well-being and the rabbi
thousand that there was once a fellow
who came to his therapist and he says
you know nobody [laughter]
ever thinks about me I'm alone in the
world and suddenly suddenly a hundred
billion white blood cells popped up and
they looked at this fellow and they said
what are we chopped liver and of course
what they meant to say is that you have
approximately maybe more a hundred
billion white blood cells which are like
policemen they travel through the entire
body and they're basically the secure
like police they patrol your organism in
case an invader might come in an
infection bacteria a virus and when the
invader does come in they immediately
mobilized to attack this don't say
nobody is thinking about you ever when
there's a hundred billion little guys
who are working day and night 24 hours a
day seven days a week from the moment
you're born until the last breath at 120
to make sure you're fine when you say
that it's a one-way relationship with
God if you mean that we don't hear God's
voice that's true we don't hear God's
voice but every single moment of life
every experience of life is God talking
to us is God communicating with us we
just have to clean out our antennas so
that we should be able to open ourselves
up to that vibe the energy and the
presence of God is in everywhere and in
everything however if my ears are
plugged or this static and my brain I
can't hear it because I am in a much
smaller place when you clean out your
antennas you open your ears you're open
your eyes you cleanse your spirit every
day you become open to experiencing this
relationship and then you will see that
the relationship is constant and the
more you open up to it the more you'll
be able to experience because the
relationship is always there God is
always always present but Cuba do you
want me to read more happier 17
questions so maybe it's your turn I
should
read more okay a lot of a lot of
questions came in okay
here's the next question okay
thank you for the thank yous you
speak about connecting to God and
connecting to you in yourself and
finding this opportunity to find your
core let's face it this is a chaotic and
busy time men who are usually busy
governing and Shore learning and working
are now sharing the burden of children
at home with their wives they can't
learn normally they can't pray normally
how are you supposed to connect to your
inner self we can't even think straight
we're all overwhelmed we're all busy
we're all occupied we're doing things we
never used to be doing come on this is a
question from a man named shear or
Joshua excellent
question excellent question okay I know
every single person is in a different
situation there are people who are
literally home alone there are people
maybe older couples who are home just
two people or people children already
you know the nest is empty so I know so
many people are in different places but
let me tell you something even if your
house is very very chaotic and very very
busy that's part of connecting to your
core self because now we're given an
opportunity to deal with issues that we
didn't have to deal with you know all
the issues in marriages he used to run
to work she ran to work they only saw
each other at night now you're together
a whole day it's such an opportunity to
figure out what's going on to get rid of
some of the skeletons some of the ghosts
some of the demons to be able to take
time every day and spend time with each
other if you can take a walk that's
great if you can't take a walk depends
where you live and what the health
officials say but it's so important now
to focus on issues in your marriage that
you didn't have time to focus on or you
weren't forced to focus on the same is
true with your children you get to see
your children a whole day you get to
listen to your children you get to see
the interactions I don't mean connecting
to your core self in the Buddhist model
of going on top of a mountain and
meditating and fasting and spending time
with Nirvana and one and all all in one
I know some of our homes are very
chaotic I'm talking about connecting to
your core self in the chaos and in the
busyness by noticing your emotions by
learning to control your temper by
identifying your anxiety by figuring out
what's really bothering you and you know
it's so important not to be scared of
any emotions respect your emotions
whatever they may be as chaotic as they
may be give them their space and then
choose to live a life based on your
values your wife or your husband may say
something that Shriekers you and you
want to explode your teenage son or
daughter says something and you want to
explode then you would lose lead and run
out of the house and go to work and now
you can't it's such a great opportunity
for you to be able to observe your
emotions to see what's happening and for
you to be able to choose what is your
right path how you should respond
verbally which thoughts should take over
your brain based on your innermost
values so this is such an opportunity
for self refinement for self-discovery
for searching inside your soul and
becoming a transformed person amidst the
chaos and amidst the busyness that's how
that's how I that's how I see it how can
you have Isaac how can you have a
relationship and an intimate one with
God God is not visible he's not a person
he's not a thing we have no frame of
reference what God is are we supposed to
invent an image of our imagination I
think this is one of the reasons that
boys and girls are leaving Judaism
because they're all like robots they're
doing things with no feelings and no
connection to God this is Isaac's
question Wow great question Isaac I love
it I love it now by Ruttenberg that's a
good question Oh excellent
excellent excellent question so let me
let me let
me respond very briefly I think I
addressed some of this during the
lecture I know God is not visible God is
not a person God is not a thing you're
not supposed to invent any image but
that's exactly the point if God would
have an image it would mean that
connecting with him is limited to a
certain style to a certain time to a
certain place because because God has no
image it means that my relationship with
him is never limited because it never
has to look a certain way a relationship
with God doesn't mean I'm in a good mood
or I'm in a spiritual mood arm and I'm
uplifted mood a relationship with God
doesn't mean I'm black or I'm white or
orange or yellow or a blue or brown a
relationship with God doesn't mean I'm
in a specific space or box or model the
relationship with God means wherever
you are at this moment wherever you are
physically emotionally psychologically
socially spiritually you
are one with God because God has no
image he has no place he has no figure
there's no space that God runs away from
her God says oh I can't deal with this
or God says no this is the way to
connect to me or ever you are in the
world right now right there right then
you can open yourself up to the fact
that at your core you are divine you are
one you are infinite let's remember a
relationship with God means discovering
what it is you want to know God get to
know your deepest deepest core and again
this doesn't mean there's no God outside
of you there is a God outside of you it
means there's no you outside of God the
Navi says job says me sorry exa Le Coq
EF from my own flesh I shall receive
Hashem beautiful words the ballot on you
said without shiet and embosser
bismillah darkens nla cop you have to
send the Brutus of your flesh until
you'll be able to perceive God over
there I would say however very important
qualification many of us relate to God
only through images we paint a picture
of God when we're a child and that
picture sticks with us forever and if
our image of God is a negative one or a
scary one it paralyzes us and it limits
our ability to experience and mature and
infinite relationship with God that's
why I'm going to ask you Issac and all
of you to do an exercise think what is
the image that comes up in your mind
instinctively when you say the word God
without thinking about it if there is an
image that comes up immediately it may
teach you a lot about what is the
obstacle in your relationship with God I
complete agree with you Isaac that boys
and girls from a very young age need to
be taught about cultivating their own
relationship with Hashem wherever they
are this is vital children understand
infinity much better than we think they
understand and I want you to Ramayana
remind you the words of God to Moses
when he stood at the burning bush Moses
said let me go see what is happening at
the bush and God said no take your shoes
off your feet because the place upon
which you stand is sacred soil teaching
my share a bane of Moses you don't have
a relationship with God by running to
the burning tree you have to discover
how the place upon which you stand is
sacred you have to be able to find that
the presence of Hashem is always inside
of you right now right here and I could
connect to that truth under every single
condition and an all in under all
circumstances my
grandmother passed away three years ago
there
is a metaphor that the Angel of Death
uses other things not to take the blame
because
he was worried that everybody will blame
him so God said don't worry they'll
blame the doctors the hospitals when my
grandmother passed away I didn't blame
the illness that she had I blamed the
Angel of Death I'm angry that she was
taken away what could you do to help me
calm down from my anger who
that's
a very very good question jelly or jelly
and when
somebody close to us is taken away it's
very very very hard and that anger is is
part of the human condition you're
angry you're very very angry under the
anger you're very very sad and you're in
a lot of pain and I'm sorry this is this
is very very difficult and I know you
say was three years ago
but when you're very very close to
somebody three
years is not always a long time and what
I want to tell you is that I think the
most important thing to remember is that
your grandmother died physically but her
soul is eternal and asked yourself how
your grandmother would want you to live
do you think your grandmother would want
you to live with perpetual anger or your
grandmother would want you to know that
her soul is eternal she's still here for
you she prays for you she thinks about
you she loves you and you could connect
to her and you can be there for her soul
because every time you bring in goodness
into this world you elevate and you
inspire and you bring joy to her soul so
think about what your grandmother would
want from
you of how to live today what would be
the greatest tribute for this wonderful
lady who obviously was wonderful because
I see how much you love her Aviva God
okay
the next question is uh Wow
a lot a lot of questions okay
how you want to go rabbi Rothenberg okay
excellent
question and I think the I think
a very I think
a very very important answer to this is
what you could do is don't
it doesn't have to be big and dramatic
let me give you a few simple exercises
and steps when you wake up in the
morning there's a lot going on but you
can open your open your eyes and
you put together your hands and you say
that little powerful meditation and that
for that Jews say right when they wake
up Murray Danilov anezka Melek ivic I am
chef desire to Benish Massey the family
album wanna sell I Thank You Hashem for
giving me back my soul with compassion
great is your faithfulness and trust in
me what a beautiful way to open yourself
up to a new day you acknowledge that you
were given a soul you acknowledge that
you are an ambassador of God for this
day you acknowledge how much God
believes in you you wash your hands and
you say the blessings and when you say
the blessings the breakfast in the
morning I'm gonna ask you do it with an
English prayer book so you could see the
translation listen
to these words La Caille neshama Shanna
SATA B Tahiry he octave Aras at the
attire to God my God the soul you have
imbued within me is pure and Tahiry also
means it's light and Aramaic Tyra means
luminescent bright which means the soul
you have given me is filled with light
because it's God's light in this world
focus
on these words it takes a few seconds
but stop 10 seconds and think about the
fact think
about the fact that inside of you there
is God's infinite light and then you
thank God for all the things that we
thank him in the morning the ability to
see and the ability to walk and the
ability to step on the ground and the
ability to flex and stretch our muscles
and the ability to stand up and the
ability to have wisdom and the ability
to experience another day those are very
small short but powerful powerful
meditations that we're saying every day
and if you could take four or five six
minutes do it slowly with the
translation so you understand what
you're doing and focus on it with
sincerity you are an amazing
relationship with a chef that's what a
relationship is one day God willing
you'll get married what do you think a
relationship with your spouse's these
are what relationships look like this is
the stuff of a relationship and then you
as God shitake Lainey hi you saved me
May as a foreman who may as opponent
from people who are screwin scrupulous
from hutzpah may other Mahavira shocking
repay Gera ayan Harrelson our ADA
checker sinister breeze you're asking
God to save you from a social life that
is inappropriate from gossip from
slander from saying lies from hating
people make Hawaiian from illness such
powerful beautiful world's giving you
focus you tell God about high rev nas
device or askable phenyl make the words
of your TARDIS sweet in my mouth I
should be able to appreciate the
sweetness of your terror this is right
even before diving in just a few minutes
you say this with a little concentration
sincerity meditation every single
morning and you become a different
person you become a conscientious person
a reflective person a good person a
noble person you become an ambassador of
Hashem in this world and I would also
suggest that when you davon every day
take one paragraph of Dominic and learn
its translation read it with your mouth
and with your eyes with a translation
you'll understand for example tomorrow
take the prayer the blessing of us eylem
or a Barabbas you do Ashkenazim right
before smile and focus on the
translation just that paragraph every
week focus on another paragraph sooner
or later you'll get to know the davines
and you'll see it will be a different
experience I'm
with you okay I'll
take one more here I'll take one more
here let's see what's coming in and a
few more came in but let me I could take
let's
see what's going on oh wow okay
[sighs]
okay
please repeat the question I'm repeating
the question okay let's see here what is
your advice
my
natural feelings tend
to go towards a self-identity as the
rabbi described I'm small petty finite
moody struggling praying is gonna change
my perspective what if I try every day
to have qivana but to no avail how do I
get out of this view of myself how do I
step away from my traumas how do I
become an ambassador of God's hmm
I like that okay I think you really have
to expose yourself to a deeper dimension
of Judaism I think
you are you're used to a very narrow
perspective of Judaism and of yourself
and I think it's important for you to
explore a Judaism that really sees you
as one with Hashem as an ambassador of
Hashem because if you don't have this
information when you dive in you're
coming from a wrong reference point I
shouldn't say wrong from a smaller
reference point I think the more you
will learn about the spiritual dimension
of Judaism and the loving dimension of
Judaism and the infinite love that God
has to you the more you'll be able to
change your thoughts and when I mean
change your thoughts I don't mean that
you destroy other thoughts any thought
that comes in you let it be but then you
gently shift your brain to another way
of looking at it so if you could stand
back and observe what your mind is doing
you could make choices how do people
have choices only if they know that
there's more than one highway if there's
only one road I'm used to traveling from
here to there I have no choice but if I
step back and I say oh there's another
road now I can choose the problem is
you're so engulfed we are so engulfed by
the thoughts I'm petty
nobody I'm traumatized I hate my life
nobody likes me I'm not gonna be
successful I'm not talking about you I'm
talking about me and many of us okay
those are thoughts but you are not your
thoughts you're not your thoughts these
are thoughts inside of you they are not
you step out of them and observe that
these thoughts are flowing through you
but they're not you and you know what
you can look at another way of saying it
and saying you know maybe I'm not petty
maybe I'm invincible maybe there's a
part of me that's indestructible maybe
there's a part of me that's confident
powerful happy wholesome splendid sacred
beautiful moral infinite maybe no I know
you you're an idiot you're a Mazel
you're a petty little nobody you're a
loser you're a crash okay my dear
thoughts thank you foxy driver observe
them don't become them observe them and
when you observe them you could let them
be and then you could say but there's
another way of looking at it and then
you can choose how you want to live the
more you learn about another self the
more you'll have a choice to dive in and
connect to that self that's why I will
suggest to you that you try to start
dedicating time to learn the
spirituality of Judaism if you
appreciate my classes we do a lot of
classes on these topics you can come
learn more on the yeshiva dotnet for my
class especially I think you would do
well with the texts of Hasidic
spirituality cassadee's because they
really tune in to this dimension of the
self this would be my personal
suggestion to you if you're part of
Emmet or you want to be part of Emmet
rabbi Ruttenberg classes follow a lot
this line and these are important
perspectives because they will help you
see yourself in a much in a much deeper
way not that you don't struggle anymore
but that you could see that there's
other ways you know and then you develop
new neural pathways because the problem
is freedom is a muscle use it or lose it
our neural pathways develop in a certain
way and then we don't know there's
anything else but when you can see
another perspective you could start
exercising different highways in your
brain and with neuroplasticity you
actually expand the way you start
looking looking at the world Freyja
relationships obedience personal limits
how can I explain to my children these
concepts when they're growing and the
answer to this is you have to explain it
to them from a very deep place of caring
and love it's not about obedience in
order to satisfy your impulses it's
obedience and relationships and personal
limits in order to be able to create a
safe and reliable environment with which
can teach them responsibility and teach
them about their abilities and that they
can create their lives by identifying
the causes and the consequences go
ahead yeah
[laughter]
that's that's
a very very that's a very good question
so first of all my dear friend welcome
to the club
our minds wander it's extremely
important that before you start diving
for a few minutes you prepare yourself
that may mean that may mean a little
meditation it may mean a little mindful
exercise it may learn it may mean
learning something or reading something
that helps you get in tune with hashem
again texts of jewish spirituality are
usually very very helpful for this and
then when you davin try to focus on the
world in a calm gentle and joyous way
your mind will will will will go away
and you know what that's gonna happen
and then slowly and gently with
compassion say now come back don't feel
guilty don't get angry don't get into a
bad mood don't start feeling like a
loser this is the natural thing
that the mind does it goes here it goes
there a lot of other voices come in and
I'll tell you something when you're
having a very good Davines sometimes at
the peak your mind drifts away in the
most radical fashion you know why
because if I'm having an arm wrestle
with you right I'm having an arm wrestle
and I'm winning I'm winning I'm winning
I'm winning and you're almost down down
down now in the last moment you get this
new burst of energy right and you throw
me back what happens when you see you're
losing you get this new adrenaline and
burst of energy so you really start
fighting back because you want to
survive you want to win the same is true
in our own life we have two souls and
they battle during dominate and when
we're winning the other side the animal
soviets are as a zoo I'm not gonna let
this happen and he fights back and when
you're feeling that resistance it often
means that you're actually doing well so
let it be and tune into your soul slowly
and gently so as your mind shifts away
which is very very normal come back
bring back your mind to the words it's
very helpful if you have a sitter where
you can understand what you're saying
because if you can understand what
you're saying your mind can be focused
on the prayer if not you're just saying
words and it's very hard to connect to
the energy there is a concept of
connecting to the energy of the words
like mantras it's discussed by the
Kosilek masters and the capitalists but
it's easier if you can understand the
meaning and then you create a mindset
and you start dominating and when your
mind goes back just bring it back and
attack again and again and again and the
more you practice it it's like exercise
muscles you use it and it grows you
don't use it and you lose it the same is
true with prayer I use my mind I
concentrate the more you do it you see
the more delightful it becomes and
you'll see something else when you have
a meaningful Davenant where you try to
stay focus you emerge from Davin Inc a
much happier person a deeper person
because your relationship with your soul
is so much more powerful somebody
says a raisin everything you're
describing doesn't apply to me that's
the way I feel how can I change that and
how
does one feel Hashem steer and love how
do you know that it's real and it's not
fake ok
great question first
of all you'll forgive me but with great
love I'm going to disagree with you I
don't think it doesn't apply to you I
think it does apply to you I think that
you're not used to looking
at yourself this way but I think it
really really applies to you I think
that you are probably a very deep soul
and a very spiritual soul but it's also
possible and I want to say this and
you'll forgive me I'm gonna be a little
blunt a lot of Jews I know are
traumatized by Dominic they hear the
word Dominic and it triggers a negative
emotion I'll tell you why some of us sat
through school for 5 10 15 years and the
Dominic was long and you weren't allowed
to get up from your chair and you were
so bored that for the rest of your life
the word Dominic or the prayer-book
brings up a very very negative or at
least of boring emotions like here we go
an hour of boredom you know people talk
about not speak shurl not speaking and
shall not talking them sure and it's
very very important what's the reason
though people talking sure they don't
find it relevant they don't find the joy
in their domine there's no experience
nothing is happening it's just dead so
why shouldn't they have a conversation I
was once in a shoe and and
there was some focus I asked this habit
to be quiet so somebody says he says
rabbi why why I don't understand you you
think I come to shul to be quiet I could
do that at the house at my house I could
be quiet I come to Sheol to talk to my
friends what do you want for me I'm home
I come to show I want to socialize
that's interesting you talk about the
market you talk about what's going on
and talk about interesting stuff you
talk politics you start channeling
whatever you thought take a little
Stickle harrying mystical cake could I
plane people talking by Dominique it's
really the time that I shed turns to a
Jew and says I want to hear what's going
on in your life here
is a time we're going to meet face to
face intimately let's talk let's hug
let's slowest let's chill out together
let's hang out let's wrestle let's
embrace each other and I'm in a
conversation but I understand that some
people find it so boring and this is not
judgmental but it's a reality for some
people it's so so boring and maybe this
is a great opportunity when you're not
in shul to learn how to doubt it because
it's only you and God nobody's watching
the rabbi is not watching president is
not watching the gala is not watching
Hamish is not watching nobody is
watching your wife is not even watching
from the women's section she's maybe
watching from another port room in the
house it's now you and God alone but you
know what it's an incredible opportunity
you could actually discover how to talk
fashion and you know what I so people
talk them in your own language do you
know that the dishes tomorrow in the
code of Jewish law says that in schmatko
elena in the blessing of Schmucker then
you could talk about whatever you want
you could talk about corona you could
talk about your children you can talk
about your marriage you could talk about
your business you can talk about your
anxiety could talk about your parents
you could talk about your sky things you
can talk about your past you can talk
about your issues and you can speak in
any language and schmatko later you can
speak about everything and in other
blessings you can also add texts let's
say refer a new you can speak about
themes that are connected to that
blessing you could speak about health
smack oh man you could talk about
anything but every other blessing you
can bring up anything that's connected
to that blessing and talk about it for
10 minutes you use the opportunity talk
talk talk to God fight it out fight
it out argue it out and you know what
Hashem won't interrupt you like a good
good therapist he will let you go till
the end he will not interrupt you ever
he will let you finish he never says ok
enough be quiet you want to speak I'm
here to listen and then our son gives us
answer when he's ready to give his
answer in his own unique inimitable
way ok
rabbi rotten work I think we're good or
you want to do more thank
you I just want to conclude and wit
thank thank Emmet for Emmet outreach
center for this great opportunity and I
love you all and I bless you all and I
thank you all for being here and I wish
you only only the best and really - you
know we all know that this is this
is a difficult time but it's so
important not to forfeit the tremendous
opportunities that we have every crisis
has a silver lining and really use this
time to enhance your marriage to work on
your relationship with your children to
work on your relationship with yourself
to work on your relationship with Hashem
to become a much newer person a better
person a more real person and a more
refined person this is a time to get out
of our gulleson tality our exile exile
pettiness and open ourselves up to a
consciousness of gula to a consciousness
of infinity to a consciousness of
Redemption I do want to finish
with one last question that just came in
through the Shema net because it's very
meaningful it came in from Natalia
Natalia and she says I did not
experience my father my father was a
survivor of the war with his own trauma
and therefore I never know what it means
to have unconditional love I never could
connect with the sense of God as a
loving father unconditionally I'm
accustomed to judgment and criticism how
can I be helped to feel Hashem loved
constantly no matter what what a
beautiful and important question Natalia
thank you for questioning this to
bringing this up and I'm going to answer
and conclude with this the answer is the
words of King David in Psalms 27 we say
it in the month of Elul at issue a key
of e ve me as Avani Vashem
Yossef Amy my father and mother have
abandoned Lee King David says but Hashem
took me in and what at King David is
teaching all of us is that sometimes in
life when we did not grow up with role
models who can model unconditional love
you have to find it within your own
relationship with God it is so important
to be able to reinvent yourself from
that place and the way to do it is every
single day when you dive in in the
morning you say la kindness shamash and
Assad to be Tahiry focus
and tell yourself take a deep breath and
say to yourself whether verbally or in
your thoughts God you have given me a
piece of you and as a result of that you
are with me at every single moment in
the prayer before Sh'ma we say I have us
I'll um after know you have loved us
eternally and we employ the term love
seven times in one paragraph
we finish her boiler by mahabhava you
choose your nation with love and then
you say smile Shambala can wash on the
hood in the prayers before we start
happening knowing as birches are chakra
we speak about a national anthem Navy
sets a B'nai of rum who may have a slush
and a half the I say oh missing
cost-conscious a master boy Carosa SHM
is all Vishera from the infinite love
that you loved him and the joy that you
celebrated with him you called his name
Israel and this we H and every one of us
is empowered to say every morning so
every day my dear friend make an effort
and an exercise to be able to say that I
know naturally my instinct is to say I'm
being judged I'm being criticized I'm
being crushed there's a tyrant who wants
to get me God is waiting for the next
mistake oh I did this wrong I did that
wrong in a drought that's the eighth Sir
Horace speaking to you that's this evil
inclination eating up on your soul again
learn about the other dimension of
Judaism and then you can make a choice
and when you watch your brain going
there say ok my dearest friend I know
this trauma and I know that that's where
you like going but we are going to be
revolutionaries we are going to be
innovative and we are going to allow the
brain to open itself up to different
thoughts a you know what those thoughts
are gonna say those thoughts are gonna
say God loves me because
I'm his child the love is unconditional
God
gives me everything I need to be able to
succeed I am an ambassador of God at my
core I'm beautiful amazing splendid
incredibly powerful God wants me to have
the most successful and happy life he
wants me to suck the marrow out of life
and live my life to the fullest and then
the other thought is gonna say all come
mom we know the truth you're a loser do
everything wrong smile develop a sense
of humor and look at him and say oh you
back again and now we got to go to the
other thoughts the more you will do this
the more you will understand King
David's words my mother and father may
have abandoned me but Hashemi Aswany
there is always your relationship with
the divine which always is there for you
to be able to sustain you uplift you and
empower you my dearest friends thank you
very much have a good night and God
bless you thank
you thank you