Edana Desatnik Leadership Class June 11 2019

okay everybody to welcome all of you to our Hall of leadership events after our one day we've met mama over here months ago right it's like Indiana go over here what any data well next to my speech that was the best thing we had conference oh no good thing we have one and we want to invite James Carter is really trying months many different goals you really see we have a tremendous beautiful potential here and Duvall exhibited with your amazing work over the last you know three five seven years and we realized the greatest thing we have is our leadership our people our women and our men i men are following your lead we want to enable that to grow that leadership part of that growing leadership is enabling everybody was below you to like walk into leadership right so that we can not only they can become actualized and the people who are in the top positions of leadership can expand their horizons and make a bigger impact because if we stay you know and our little structure we sort of stay the same but if we enable other people to come up through the ranks so we can really expand what worked run accomplish and you know the other thing I just wanted to mention is that where are they important things we have this beautiful group where we have all religiosity together and that's the recipe that we had a special sauce don't speak it makes this very very special we want to share that you always want to be sharing that with it are less affiliated friends and particularly in our religious community we want them involved we want to get the more of the ladies more of the men involved not only in just in Jane spire but in general and you have a co-worker when you have a relative to be more open more sharing and to share the wealth so to speak so we want to be able to you know use this incredible powerful Jane spire to kind of spur a revival of people and religious English really just to get everybody involved and you know we want to help you with that and do you know a couple of the word but like sense that kind of show what you're doing to the community because we want know things have to have that as our dual focus all together we want to share that with as many people as we can there was anything data you know you all heard of before and we really were taken by her what did you eat get that on the roads leadership workshop thank you so much first of all huge thank you I can't think of a day where I'm more exhausted than after those three days it was our first time doing this in Teaneck and just had never had the full experience and it was funny at one point yesterday at lunch I'm sitting there eating cheesecake just eating it and I'm like what has happened to me but it's really it's great for everyone that's you know zooming in it's great for you guys that are here welcome welcome come and get comfortable and we're just starting it's perfect timing so exciting and grab the piece of paper and a pen cuz I'm gonna have you guys do work while we're here okay let's see today yes something to eat so let me just tell you a little bit about what I was thinking we would do today and I really I I have some you guys they obviously want you to be here wherever you guys want to be is fine we have people still wandering in for those on the zoom it's interesting so what I was thinking today that we would do is really go to something that I think is really foundational for leadership and it's interesting just today as an example I was earlier today in a middle of the day at kind of one of the top luxury companies it's something a product you guys know from France I mean the company you all know very well and working with their top leadership and then I was at a you know working for the big insurance company their CEO today and all this stuff and I was at what a cosmetic company and you know all them the issues are the same and it can be a huge huge company or it could be on your PTA at school or it can be running your family or it could be whatever it is you're doing be your JW RP trip it doesn't matter the foundations of leadership are very very consistent and it's funny because the stuff that we hopefully will start today and a building on what we did last time here together should be kind of a stepping stone for other things so I'll explain to what I thought we would do but if you want to deviate if we want I want to answer your questions I want to make it work for you so my goal for today is to really answer your questions I wanted to do this thing called the leadership shadow and when you think about each of us you know the only thing we have is our name right we have kind of who you represent and people who decide I can't stand there I'm being told I mean coached say this is very good people who decide if they want to follow a leader based on your leadership shadow kind of the air you project around you right what do we know about you and so we're going to help talk a little bit about what is your own leadership shadow and it's so important because as grabbed by Barnett was saying if we're trying to ultimately have other people do a lot of the work right and really get involved and take over and not have the people in this room do all the heavy lifting it has to be that they're doing it from the kind of shadow or if you would are following if somebody else and so part of what I was hoping to do today is help us each define for ourselves what that look like what is our own leadership brand so that and follow-up modules that we do we can really build on how do we take that and build the capability for other people to want to jump in and develop leaders under us because a lot of what I heard during the workshop when we were together in January is that all the heavy lifting is happening at the leadership level and one of the benefits of being a leader is that you don't do the heavy lifting anymore right I mean if you get people that get so inspired that they want to start taking on in doing pieces so we're going to spend a little bit of time just batting about that and what do you need to kind of an and live that brand so that that can happen I thought we would talk a little bit about kind of that own self-awareness how you can become a little more cognizant of how your you're doing that and sometimes what I'm finding in the Jewish communities as well you're such good people and you're so caring and so dedicated that sometimes what happens is you end up just doing for others right and in some ways it could develop dependencies right like they're just gonna do it they're gonna burn all the programs they're gonna do it so I don't have to do it so how do we inspire that to happen and so we'll talk about the foundation and then hopefully do some real action planning so it's kind of what I was thinking but I've loved in here before we jump into the content what's on your mind and kind of what leadership questions are going on so we can make sure we build it in work build it going forward any questions that you guys are kind of really thinking about you is that a hand up or just you know hey is that work for you yeah okay and again completely understanding that it's just the you know again in an hour you know normally we would do like a barrier during a leadership workshop at a company could be two days three days you know it could be over a year so we're going to just do it an hour right to kind of start this conversation today and then and again for anyone on the phone the same thing you know let me know if there's any questions interrupt me tell me what you need okay so again I'm just going to start with this I share this last time but we all kind of naturally have preconceived notions of what we think and what we want and what we're expecting and you coming off of these three exhausting days you know like just try to stay kind of low on the ladder I always they don't kind of prejudge until you hear the content this I think and again everyone should have a paper and pen cuz I'm really gonna ask you to think and do some of your own work um you know I was so thrilled where do you want to tell them what you did since the last session since the last session I have heard the first time about this group leadership I got so interested in it and they said I have to buy it right after the workshop I went I wanted it so high and the leading kids and I'm finally giving lessons to my husband who is on a higher level than me and I never was able to teach me and now he's listening he's he's brilliant so we do it yeah it's inspiring thank you it's a fabulous book on leadership I really think of any of the leadership books and there are thousands of leadership books this one when you read it weekly with your toy reports it just it's so great but again a part of it I think what we're really focusing on is how do we build capability not dependency right how do we really build other leaders not just followers so a lot of what we think about you I can I can give you your slides absolutely I mean it's up to my brunette whatever I need whatever he tells me I did so I'm going to talk about this conscious pushes button I'm going to talk about this concept of leadership shadow leader shadow and when we talk about that what we're talking about is how do I convey myself how do I protect myself how do I show up when when you walk in a room people are immediately assessing up who you are right it could be you know that you you know dress a certain way you have your hair done a certain way of shade all you have not you you know you look certain everything about us each day when we show up gets assessed and it's not that people are doing it from necessarily a negative place but we all do it right it's why I say stay low on your ladder like don't judge someone until you really get to know so we've just looked at eMac care without it from any of you in January it's been an unbelievable experience for us we it's just been an amazing community and people being gracious and inviting us into their homes etc etc it's just fantastic and a huge learning for me there's so many the people that I would have thought of when I was actually very you're at all or very learn it or very smart in some of these areas are brilliant I'll go to a class and the people that were least expecting for them to really show up and have some amazing concepts are these other people and I'm like you will but Nano I just I did not quite get it or didn't look like they were gonna hear or they didn't gather head covered or they didn't whatever whatever the case may be they they weren't my vision of what I would have thought and I was like shame on me right because instantaneously you make all of us even if you try not to make decisions about people people so the way you show up the way you carry yourself confidence you have in your leadership it's fell as permeate it's all part of what we would define as leadership shadow so when we think about a leadership shadow tell me if I'm allowed to walk over here okay if I can't me so when we think about a leadership shadow it's a bunch of things that come together it's what do I say so when you think about framing issues again it could be at home with your kids it could be at your work it could be wherever you are how do I explain issues how do I talk about things how do I know what's a parent if I have about different things so it's an interesting example actually if any of you guys read Charlie Newberry's book on unlocking greatness he's got a fabulous yeah I love you he's got a really amazing podcast series that are terrific I have almost all my clients Jewish you're not Jewish listen to it I think they're fantastic but this idea of framing issues the narrative you tell so when you come back from a trip even a family vacation and you're talking about you can't say I can't move it this just had the slides though you don't need me I'm so I said on me to be on that screen yeah yeah just be on the screen no you can't right now I'm not a wife I'm in our lives yeah so this will be helpful just for this one I think so this idea of the stories you tell the way you'd frame issues so again make sure you're coming back from a family vacation and if you remember and you're talking about remember a horrible that flight wise and I got lost whatever that's what they remember if you remember oh my god remember when and you tell it's all about the narrative so you're leaving a meeting you're leaving an experience it's about how are you framing your issues how are you talking about it the stories you tell what you repeat you know like with your own promises you think with your parents like when they hit certain settings that they always repeated right that became what they said right and you know that as you look at different leaders that you follow rabbis it could be it could be people in your community if it be your teachers people have certain things that they keep telling and saying and again what you're trying to see is is what they're saying ultimately of how they act right so then you think about or their behaviors their symbolic actions so if I'm saying one thing and I'm talking about life I want to lead and how I want to behave but then I'm acting a different way it's it's really hard for people to get inspired quality right so it's interesting so I don't think about in this whole for us on this Jewish journey you know this Jewish experience is you don't have to be perfect but I don't think you have to be these perfect perfect role models but you do have to be perfect in some ways I would say this to a leader in any business but I say then if you cut it and give up the right to complain right or to talk about your colleagues or to do behaviors that if we're talking about you don't talk less and higher then you don't want to sit in the middle of a leadership meeting and everyone's doing that right your behaviors I've got to match what you're saying and thought to be around relationships and decision-making in everything you do what you say and how you act I've got to be in congruence does that make sense because it's again from a leadership perspective in some ways it doesn't matter what you say they're watching much more what you're doing right so then the question is is other things like how do i prioritize how do i if i say something's really being whoring i don't know i make a best kicker company quality is really important for us but then I look at my calendar at the last 90 days and 10 percent of my time is too geared towards oddly where learning is really important to me and I actually I'm so busy running carful and running around and doing stuff and you know shopping or whatever that I'm really only spending a very small amount of time that's face like again it's how do I prioritize so when I think about what I say how I acted is it consistent with how I prioritize and even delegate so for instance if I don't know if cooking is really important in your house and you involve your kids and you delegate certain pieces and you can gauge them in a positive way it's really different than when you're just kind of dumping on somebody you know a different experience of positive delegation and inspiration versus dumping and again from a leadership perspective if you're running a big event and trying to give someone the piece to run am i inspiring them enough is it consistent with the way I've acting is it consistent with what I've been saying to really kind of you know come together and then I obviously accompanies a lot there's been a lot of time on measurement but I also would challenge us in this world of this Jewish world are we clear enough of what success looks like right so is it one picture of success is it different for different people you know how do we know if an event or our work with these people is being successful and it's just something I always challenge ourselves to think about it's we spent a lot of time at the beginning of JW RP talking and thinking about this and so again one of you think about your leadership shot it's how all of these come into congruence so what I'm going to ask you to think about as we go into this is am i acting consistently against what I say what I want to do how I prioritize and how I would measure things and give me an example maybe in your own homes what measurement might look like what what would be an example of measurement in your own home happiness are the kids happy so some people actually have silly things like in an office they might have a table in there in one of the rooms like in the meeting room in the common room or the coffee room and they literally would have people put up like a happy face or a sad face or smile whatever are people coming in most the days feeling happy it is same thing in your own home right you know if I don't know if keeping your kids room is really important and you know how many days is it not how many they says yeah what are your measurements and how are you again rewarding and inspiring people to have those behaviors does that make sense like it's all gotta stay connected so wanted us think for a moment again write down on a piece of paper because I want you to kind of have some takeaways for your stuff for today we're gonna actually get into some concrete things but I want you to just to think for yourself because they can give yourself as a leader what do you want to be known for what do you want what do you want to convey what what is that shadow you want what experience do you want to create and what reputation or legacy or impact do you want to be having so there's no right or wrong you don't have to share this just write down some notes to yourself [Laughter] think for a moment like when's last time you took a moment to think and reflect on yourself just paper yes okay good good perfectly just gonna make sure if anyone needs anything just tell me your pen you everything okay good if anyone needs anything tell me [Music] okay everyone name one Mormon I'm gonna give you a little extra spice to do okay so I'm going to give next slide I'm going to actually ask if somebody can just read this out loud the English there's no trick to it it's just regular English are you guys okay perfect yes perfect thank you so much for reading so again I'm going to give you an exercise in just a moment but if you think about this concept of what is my leadership brand right what do I represent so when I see I know any of you like I I get so excited when I saw you walking in the room so for many of you I've seen you at different events now I've got to know you I know your reputations you're like a change agent your area like you know people have all these like you hear about people and I get you walk with room I'm like totally lit up right I'm really sited what is my brand right what is showing off when I show up and so these them ask you to think about this is that over the next period of time when we do different workshops the idea is how do I really really continue to develop this brand so that I can get other people to get inspired from leadership perspective so that they can take on and do more and so that we can really exponentially grow and change this world right because we can't do it individually you can't do it just by ourselves it's just too much of change that's required so we have to know hi welcome we have to know how to kind of do this going forward so I'm going to give us an exercise in just a moment so want you to think about as before we get into it what is distinctive for me as a leader okay what results do I want to accomplish and I kind of said over the next couple of months you could have a longer term horizon if you want well what is it I really really want to be known for and what could impact do I want to have what are the results that I want to achieve I want you to think about that because I want to give you in just a moment 15 word exercise I mean they give you an exercise to actually write down a statement about yourself okay so here's what your assignments going to be I want you to think about and you can see this for the people that are online you have 15 words just 15 words this is not a paragraph it's not it's just 15 words of what you want to be known for as a leader and what I want you to do is have one I'm writing you to write down your own personal brand statement about you it's just you there's no right or wrong at all but I want you to write it down and then once you have it written down I want you to pair up with somebody and you can mix up you know it would not kill you to like if you had to mix up with another you know location you can mix up at meet new people and I really want you to share with the other people you know what you wrote and does that make sense if I were reading and I didn't know you you know it does it make sense get them through some feedback you know just make the helpful make it better some people might you know be struggling on how to write it help them make it even better and then we're going to ask you each write it down and we're gonna share some of them okay it's unbelievable hey I really would do it I went just kind of you know let it go spend the time spend a few minutes again you spend all of your little a focusing on everybody else I'm gonna ask you to suspend five or ten minutes to thank for it yourself about what your own leadership brand statement would look like and it should look different than your neighbors it should be different so spend fifteen words write down the statement about yourself not just work fifteen words but make it into a statement I would do it is a great great question I think how I would look at it is I would look at it more aspirational I would say that this is what I would really like to be if I think about my legacy or think about the kind of leader I'd like to grow into this is what I would want to do exactly what we'll do is it'll give you the space to be able to say so what do I need to do to be able to actually live this more authentically right because I think of it's art if it's - I don't say lowest common denominator if it's too much what I've already am is if you're already there fantastic but if you feel like you're not quite where you want to be which most people aren't break the other kind of leader you really want to be great question if anyone online has any questions please let me know here to answer these I hope you're all of whom doing this exercise if you're not I'm very gonna cry please please please do it it's really worth it now it's worth taking a few minutes on yourself talk to her I'm sorry my mic isn't back not be like you're talking about somebody else this should very much be very very personal unique to you so there's no there's never like a difference between what I do personally and what I do like at work if you would or you know working folks it's it's still who you are as a leader [Music] [Laughter] okay [Applause] [Music] our people online doing people here are working really hard I people on the line are you working if anyone has any questions people here are working so hard and I save mine one more minutes I did mine anyone asking any questions person online would you mind if we read your statement in the group answer yeah it's a not levy I'm fine with that oh okay one more minute I thank you okay we have a lot of amazing leaders here in the room who are working on their statements and what's interesting just listening to this conversation is the stories we tell ourselves right so people are like I don't know or I've never stopped and pause and thought about myself as a leader or I'm not really a leader or and then they start saying what they're doing and they're amazing leaders right it's amazing I mean there's nobody that's either on the Xoom we're in this room that's not a leader because you wouldn't be here after these three days of exhaustion you wouldn't be here if you weren't looking to even get greater as a leader see this is about pausing and thinking for a few minutes because if you don't know who you are or what you're trying to do as a leader it's much much harder it's so much more work to get others just be inspired to do a lot of the stuff and so let me follow you and to be leaders themselves and so part of the beauty of a workshop like this evening is just pausing and thinking about what is it that I'm working so hard towards why am I doing this what inspires me what do I want to do to inspire others and so there is absolutely no right or wrong at all on these statements and you don't have to have it where you're ready to publish it for everybody tonight but you should have something that started enough to get you thinking that what do I want to do and work on over the next couple of months to even become a stronger leader right - already you're already great how do I get even stronger and better and what I find is if you just like with a sport right you don't kind of the first time Lloyd always uses this example with tennis don't like you go out the first time you can do it at perfect forehand right you got a practice you have to learn the basics and the skills if you don't stop it think about what does it mean for me personally to be a leader it's really really hard to get better at it so that's kind of why I kind of tour tricking you to write it down tonight I'd love love love for a couple of you to share what you wrote down and let's just hear and hear some of the differences there is no right or wrong there's somebody whatever either okay can you get her on camera don't say that I wanna share my life with others I want to inspire people my kids co-workers to reach their potential by encouragement smile oh my gosh what really stands out when you listen some of you know her as well what words really hit you as unique to her smile positive optimism inspiring can you just feel like she walked in and like as soon as she walked in today she just needed it's amazingly great news I just like was full of a smile totally inspirational and and I look at her statement can you just feel how those words were so her and again should be different than somebody else's great great first one that's terrific was it really hard for you to put that down [Music] yeah so you know it's interesting again and that was like a five or seven minute exercise right so it wasn't like she took three months to come up with some grand a statement from some professional anybody else again they don't have to all be that great you know it can be anything can somebody else share I thought yours was good okay can you not videotape the next one okay Oh even the language okay okay never mind she says want to be on video that's understandable totally understandable anybody else we don't have to video you or we can I'm sure you'd like come on come on no no well read mine if you want this or that smile I need to hear it I'm not worried about my leadership I think it's fantastic give her a round of applause there I got this okay well let's just here just for one second then we're gonna go what words really stand out when you heard that one like what really resonates with you sang-taek is that like not such a that's such a you word I get such a beautiful word like I want to be a real like I don't want to fake this I really want to be the person I want to be and it feels like so beautiful to you just warm that you generate I just it's so perfect it's so you just kind of give this this warmth out in this generosity of spirit that I think is so articulated in what you shared thank you so much for reading that you know it's so powerful how about the person on Zune can you hear me can you hear me say when to read one on zoom' I'm happy to share it can you hear me oh she's gonna read it herself thank you guys hello way above our pay grade hello hi I love those first two those four fantastic can you hear me yeah you can yes hi Cheryl okay so are you ready I just wanted to make sure that everybody wasn't just okay so here's my statements and I had nobody to review it with so let's see if it's good I have I strive to be a genuine consistent approachable collaborative leader who has the best interest of the group in mind rather than making it about me oh my god these are so fantastic now what words really resonates really what's talking from that approachable great word great word what other words I'm sorry collaborative absolutely that was a beautiful beautiful statement can you feel the reason I wanted to do this can you feel how unique they are to the person right and so it's so powerful about pausing every once in a while to think about what I do and why I do it is so incredible because then it's like well I want to follow someone that has those characteristics I wouldn't be bored of teaming or partnering with that kind of person but it just gives you some language and some ways to think about yourself and also I would say for the days you're not behaving like that and you're trying to like for instance not collaborate and do it all yourself when you're trying to knock you're not appearing as approachable as you want to be what an amazing metric for yourself to say am i living my leadership brand today did I did I do what I wanted to do and what an amazing opportunity tomorrow morning when I wake up to say okay today's a fresh day I get to start new how am I gonna do it and live my leadership brand the way that I'm gonna be proud of today does that make sense so it's so incredibly powerful to take just a few men oh thank you so much person on the phone who was you I don't hear the name oh thank you that was great you just again do you understand kind of what worked we're talking about so I know not everyone got to finish or felt like you're done but just even a couple of minutes you talk are so important I thought the conversation we were having was so important you know it's just so interesting to think you know people saying I'm not a leader I just don't believe you would be here if you're not a leader you know what I mean I think everyone in this room is already a great leader and we're just talking at state level okay any I'm only talking fastest we have 15 minutes so again once summer questions I ask myself are what am i doing to live my leadership grant and there are am i strolling up the way I want to and what do I do to hold myself accountable to live like that and as you think about you know working with my other community partners for instance am i partnering with them in such a way that I feel really proud of them leveraging that are we collectively we think about all of us as a group leveraging our strengths and our goals to to help us so if you intention went to your next meeting and you eat shared your leadership brand and said I'm probably trying to work on being more approachable or I'm really trying to work on being more collaborative or be more of an inspirational leader I'd love to either be put in a position that allows me to grow in that space or tell me when I'm not because that's really what I'm trying to be and imagine just by sharing that how much you might learn about each other and a deeper level even though you know each other so well you've been on process together and you've spent many hours together it's a different level of dialogue are there gaps that we have as a team if we really look at our team and there are you know that's really interested in some area of leadership wow what an amazing opportunity to bring to some other people on board you know as I think about the idea of family be intense about supplementing our strengths with our participants right as leaders you know do we have to do it all and I think the same thing as I think about this again it's for every aspect of your life there are so many things that we can each be good at and God knows there are so many things we're not gonna I mean there's way more things that I'm not good at so you got to take advantage of those too you little gifts were each given and do something with them right because if we spend all of our time beating ourselves up for what we're not so good at that's a pretty sad way to be right yeah there's a whole ways that they do not get it right but this is a good couple of things you're decent at and I like do something with it and it's really powerful it's an amazing experience to do that what a great thing to read those to your kids you know it really talk about it and say that's what I'm trying to be any questions on any reflections okay this is an area that I'd love to not today but this is a whole thing by itself but I just wanted to put this out there this book the art of the whoo is a great book on what we call strategic persuasion the really important trait of a leader and the idea is how do I really connect to people and so much of leadership is relationships and it this is something I just went to put up there is something we would love to talk about it another time how do I really consider the audience I'm going to be talking to it being an individual a new participant I'm interviewing with or somebody at work or whatever how do I really understanding again consider them how do I connect and when we connect with people things like trust and rapport and beliefs like you know in style all that matters on how I connect to a person how do I communicate and each person we had the privilege in Bourbon County we just did some style assessment work which is so powerful it's something we do in companies all the time and then how do I get them to commit right so you have you do an interview with somebody you get them inspired you get the de searching how do I get them to actually in their heart commit to making the change so I thought that maybe this idea of influence or strategic persuasion would be something we could continue to talk about that I think is a really really important thing that can differentiate leaders so I just want that concept make sense to people as far as as you are connecting to so many different people and building so many relationships so okay as long as it did I wanted to check it so we could see not going deeper so here's what I would like you to think about I want you to think about what is your own personal ideal situation and again it can be part of your work here at project inspire and JE inspire it can be at your work it in your real work whatever you do outside of here it could be as a mom it can do whatever what is your current situation and what actions do you want it take so on the next page I'm going to give you some questions and I'm just going to ask you to spend a moment or two think about so here's what I would ask you to write down I'd ask you to write down what are some specific takeaways from today for myself again really really really short you know you know one-hour dialogue but you have any takeaways for yourself as a leader what small step can I take to act on my takeaway and what is one small step that I could do is there anything I need to alter my environment to change some things that are going on around me to make it more possible for me to live the kind of leadership I want to live and then mystically what do I expect to do how do I expect to do it just to break down some notes about your own action plan for a moment you to online please do it as well working towards our 9 o'clock liveable [Laughter] when you're done writing your little action plan I would suggest you find a partner and share your action plan and each of you can give each other feedback on you know helping each other it's a g-pack so really para but if you don't know the person that's fine okay I know I'm not totally brushing everything I'm giving you needs way more time but I have the nine o'clock deliver ball so I can't like mess up my timing here right so I want to make sure you guys all get home everyone needs sleep after the last three days of all this great learning so where were some of your action steps what are some of the things you want to do going forward yeah well making more frequent connections with the people that I already know that that my relationships don't just how many of you feel like that that's such an important one how many of you have friends or relationships or people or connections or people you know you need a one that relationships with and you don't have a mechanism a habit of when you're going to connect to them one of the most important things do I have deliberate practice and intentional practices to reach out to people tell me do you find that some people are growing it that like it'll be you're getting ready for Shabbos and all of a sudden phone rings and it's so it's a no how do they always they're just as busy as I am how do they have time to pick up the phone to make that one five minute phone call great how do they love time what I want earth they thought about doing it I thought about it I just didn't do it right and so how do I am I intentional enough to reach out to people to have a high bit that I'm going to build in and and I really mean this like when I talk about a habit what is going to be my practice to make sure I do that right so because otherwise the week will go by and that it won't happen so how are you going to do that actually making it's about being intentional it's so different than just kind of wanting and willing you know something to be good great how about somebody else what else is somebody gonna be doing there's not a right or wrong all of you are doing some action have it our back table I know they're still working what is an action you're gonna take good god it's it kind of really being aware and kind of watching out for them and also maybe being conscious of your own shadow maybe even asking one of your college or one of your friends to say am i living up to that these are pieces that I maybe are not the best of my itself showing up today love that and how will you pause to know if how you're behaving is what you want to be anything you're gonna do that because I love what you're saying I love it yeah that's a great way right it's so it's so interesting to figure out again what is my practice gonna be to catch myself in the act of doing what I'm doing I sometimes think like when you're you're at an event or you're at a meeting or at a table you know you're someone's house or whatever to both be present in the discussion be present and what you're doing but also be on the balcony watching yourself right so that you can see like when I just rolled but I kind of just rolled my eyes they fix it you know I do like I'm trying to be this nice person I'm trying to do whatever and I just realized that when I went to talk to this person I turned my back to that person I really said they're not in the conversation what was that about right that's why I'm saying like how can we be more present and watch yourself in action not just be in the action and maybe have a colleague or a friend that says hey Donna you know when you do this this is how people feel like you know that I know you'd probably mean it but I mean it's funny in companies it's what we do right like for an executive we might be like okay you need to be like this and people are watching you and everything you do and and a lot of times what happens in companies is that it's not like I met first of all my philosophy is everybody wants to be great that's kind of my underlying premise everyone wants to be great and no one comes in the office going I really want to mess up my people today like I really want to be a jerk I really want to mess up the bus on the bus on the trip this today I really want but something happens or you get snapped or triggered or whatever and you say something maybe not even realizing the implication and all these other things you know start happening so wouldn't it be amazing if you have a friend that could actually say to you like when you do this that happens right right proxy back brings you back helps you right so it's so interesting it's all about being intentional and helping yourself and helping yourselves as a group even be better than where you are today right it's it's not that you're not great it's just about these little tweaks about being more intentional about how we show up and that's what I always think about watching yourself on the balcony could be helpful because you're like huh that might not have been the best movie but that boom it's so great do you do any of you guys Journal or keep or two a gratitude Journal er because that's a great way to measure you do it's what are the some of the benefits of doing that it's such a beautiful thing and it really helps so thank you so much for sharing that and it really helps like know from a measurement perspective that I'm making progress I'm moving in a direction because all of us want to grow right we're learning and growing and trying in so many different ways and whatever your practice is going to be to allow you to see that progress to go back you know the last week was really hard on so many ways but you know in these two areas I'm pretty proud I'm pretty happy I made some progress in knowing that maybe it's just small areas but you know I did good so thank you for sharing that and thank you for bringing those up I'm sorry pat yourself on the back periodically so again I know we're out of time I'm going to be really sensitive to give I Burnett a few minutes to wrap up Rabbi Burnett has been for us and our family and for so many people there's such a huge huge kind of cornerstone in our growth in our development and to think you know what eight years ago I had never met an Orthodox person and today we're living in t-mac it's like crazy it's really for many many many people like yourselves and the Barnett's have been tremendous tremendous cornerstones in our development and learning so thank you so just a huge thank you to you guys as I turn it over I'm just so proud of everything that you guys do it shocks me every day when I hear the stories about what you accomplished and and just wanted to kind of sprinkle some of the foundational leadership pieces onto this oh my gosh wow what a treat so does everyone know we just walked in can you stand up and introduce yourself so you've already seen Shippo is okay so this editor for so long camera not but so when I went on my trip my first Jada burrrp trip I was saying I had never met an Orthodox person I didn't know anything I know her own camera but I remember we're sitting on the bus asking her like about connect but I got everything like every detail all these crazy questions movies and laser questions and she was tolerant she didn't yell at me she listened she was amazing and but her eyes and her leadership chatter was permeating everything he did and it's been just amazing many many years later to see her and to be here and to have you here so it's great but all of you I'm so incredibly proud of what you've done right just this is a sprinkle of what we're gonna do going forward I don't think you can do any of the other work on leadership if you don't understand your own leadership shadow its foundational your kids should do it you're hot man it's really really we make everyone in companies think about this it's just I'm hoping that today you took a little takeaway about yourself away you can continue to think about it and learn from so a huge thank you and with that let me turn it over to Robert Burnett [Applause] busy running around the world literally I want to thank a family the husband the back for sharing as it is with all of your participants and everybody we just really make each other better and you know what struck me these things struck me what you're saying you know people talk about leadership and like I'm not a leader and I think you know like hearing I'm boiled down to a leader just someone who's trying to make difference and I think if you look at it that way you're all trying to make a difference we just doesn't we don't look at ourselves that way I think this whole leadership shadow the idea that listen you're presenting that anyway shadow goes with you so it's really interesting for me to realize like what you know what it's happening anyway I might as well direct the merits you know and more than that you know I know businesses you know you want a mission statement because you want to you can only grow as a business as far as your your vision is your vision is really smart that's your cap data never released thought you could kind of make a vision state with our mission statement for who you really want to be he gonna shut that was brilliant and I see the word the big word isn't it to me was a pincher now like don't just let it happen it seemed so Elementary don't let it happen try to be intentional no I'm good I was very good at making that statement my challenge is going to be looking at it again in other words to be intentional about checking in with advantage is that funny we want to be something you don't check in with ourselves I think that was you know one of the you know the big takeaways for me leave you with Jasper from Weinberg who was the founder at aura 10 years ago revolutionized Jewish out reiation really his children so he would say that a woman or a man I went out she was out reaching they would start a branch or school they would started organ he would say the whole the whole benefit of the organization it was what he that it turns them into a leader it's a really wild way to look at it you would think organization is to do with this work is he supposed to do he would say I sent my guys out to start a branch the middle of nowhere not all the they think were great or really it really happen is they became great and that's specially with is about this is a vehicle for all of us to be great so I want to thank you down again and it'll be fulfilling one of many like your feedback and like your ideas about what other things you might you know want to have me we're learning this together so you know as you saw this part you know it's just let's do this let's do that but we've only have a great team working together growing together there's leaders and really remember everybody's got to be involved got a share I'll share the wealth so thank you very much for [Music] helping us thank you so much