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Ep. 16: What Does the Rebbe Want From Us? with Rabbi Yisrael Deren
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In this episode, Rabbi Yisrael Deren of Stamford, CT - regional director of Chabad of Western and Southern New England - farbrengs about his personal expereinces, Shlichus, and our Avodah as we stand ready to greet Moshiach.
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Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
The definition of bakar is not whether
you were by the rein. definition
is
not you were by the it's saying over the
it's not um you know the
being is close
it's being is close
it's push being is close and there is no
gashmas
other than to the extent 770
It's not even there to be close in in
770 to be close in by the to be close to
the
you have to be close.
I'm Yasi Cayman. Welcome to among
an ongoing faban about life as our
vibrant connection with the Reb and
inspired living shaped by the way he
teaches us each and every day.
Darren, how are you Barakashem?
>> It's a pleasure and an honor to be here
with you. I am looking forward to a
wonderful discussion and if the people
watching this ultimately get 10% of the
enjoyment that they normally get out of
an issue of a hair, then it will be an
afternoon well spent.
>> Okay, very good. And I uh I believe so
far people are enjoying it. So
I'm confident that this conversation
will only continue that because
sought out all over the world to speak
and it's that uh I'm right here in
Stanford.
media in the Tanuk, you know,
>> it's a
that I think is shared at least at a 50
50% level and perhaps even maybe even a
bit greater at my end. But you know
what? Let's
leave that for others to determine.
>> Okay. So, there's many ways we can
begin.
Um
I'm thinking that maybe we should start
um you know what let's start
let's start from the beginning and move
on from there.
>> You always start from the beginning. The
question is where how you define the
beginning. So
>> in this case I mean the beginning of
your life.
>> Okay. So, uh,
so we have, uh, So, I know you're you're
born in Pittsburgh, right?
>> No, actually, I was I was actually born
in Davenport, Iowa.
The reason my parents lived there, of
course, my father was a sheh in
Davenport, Iowa. And we were there for
about a year. Well, after that, I was
after I was born. And then we moved to
Chicago for a year where my sister was
born and then we moved to Pittsburgh
where the rest of my youth was
>> in Davenport, Iowa. Was that something
that um
so what year were you born?
>> Alf.
>> So are they were they living there? Is
that something told them to do?
>> Is that what's the
>> No, one second. They got married
actually in kiss of tough shiny and yes
it was to free the guy who my my mother
wanted my father to sit and learn. My
father was
uh go and uh
>> where's your father from?
>> My father is from the bahim. My father
was the youngest one of the group of
Baham from the yeshiva in Utvatsk Va
that escaped first to VNA and then from
VNA through Russia to Shanghai where
they spent
four maybe five years actually more than
because it was not until to Shanzai that
they got visas the bulk of them got
visas to come to America. Yeah. So my
father was
that's basically and then from there he
was in 770 he learned three years.
>> So that's actually a few months ago we
published the published an article
on the whole story of is actually very
popular article. Not sure exactly if
it's the historical aspect or the fact
that many mishbah are connected to that
story. It was very popular article. So
your father became
>> So if you take a look at the picture
that you had there of all of the Baham
together with Ravashkanazi
um with a Bham sort of on tears my
father is at the very top because a kid
>> so how so where where was he from in
Poland? The name of the town where he
grew up was called Vishkov. Well, he was
I mean
my father's father was Niskarabad
by a by the name of who was also from
that town who actually went to Tim in
Lavich and he came back to Vishk. He was
misid
they went to Labavich.
>> Yes. Yes. There weren't so many like
there.
>> Not at all. Not at all. He was I don't
know if he's the only one. Certainly not
the only one.
>> He's not the only one because I know
Falakan talks about the whole story with
Yanka. Yes.
>> Which is written, he writes about it in
his in Yes. Yes. Um but there weren't a
lot. Anyway, so he came back. Well, you
know, the whole Liberman family that we
have today is that that's Lis's uh
grandchildren, great grandchildren,
of course, is named for for his
grandfather.
Um
>> so somehow he ended up in labage
whatever his story is.
>> He ended up I mean he was actually I
mean my my grandfather was already
probably married already by then when he
was incar
when he came to the first time. So the
Reb told him he should not be any
>> when he came where
>> to theat
it was probably the first time maybe
he came to the freed and the freed told
him among other things not to be mish
so on chabas
they have mirrors so uh my would sing
the mirrors quietly so the children
shouldn't hear they they don't need
this.
>> So it's interesting. So so that's I
think a lot of the bakim that learned in
the in themselves
got in this you're saying you have a
unique story that your grandfather
already I guess considered himself.
>> Yeah. My father was an at
>> because
>> as a kid I mean as a as a kid he
remembers being in the office and
meeting seeing Katcha and he saw for the
first time a a typewriter and was like
six seven years old in Poland a
typewriter was
and and Katchu told him not to touch now
he eventually my father eventually
married
Kachagen's niece but uh he at the time
he didn't know although my mother asked
him why he didn't mention to Kaja that
he was planning on marrying his niece.
>> So he learned invat.
>> Yes. No actually my father learned not
my father was too young for
was the elder.
My father was still in the in the in the
kit actually also lodge. Um it was uh
also the I guess what today would be
called a mifa
but he would go to I mean he went with
his father to to abat for yam
>> that's
>> so he saw the many times throughout
those years
>> I you know I don't think many in the
sense that we saw the many times I mean
the I mean the dharma were all
altogether different then and not not
anyone can go in
But yes, he saw the fifth cap.
>> So he came to America
from Shanghai eventually
>> and he then he he's still
>> see he's he was still Shanghai. He spent
those five years
the figure that was told to me was on
average 18 hours a day of learning
learning.
>> That was all about him. That was him. I
didn't I wasn't doing research about all
of the buck but the way it was told to
me it seemed that
>> I mean actually he
he the night times he would spend with
and he was much older than him but
book it and they would sit in the swarim
library in the mirha because that's
where the there were there and they
would sit literally the whole night long
and learn
Um
so then he came to America and he's
already he's still a bish
he learns in 770
>> 770. Yeah. Yeah. That was during the
time of
>> Yeah. As a matter of fact, I I once this
was I heard from someone else was from.
So he said
[Music]
every had a sh but you know like
it was like a
>> Mhm.
So,
and he got married
in to your mother here in America.
>> Yes.
Actually, my mother and her older
brother
got married a week of each other. Yes. A
week of each other. It could be that
they were all together in
by the
They went by.
>> So your mother and your
>> It could be because I'm not sure. I I
don't remember. I know that at that
the Reb
called my mother over to talk to her
alone
and actually it was she was able to
understand there was at the time
somebody would be be I think Simpson to
translate them. for people who didn't
understand it was difficult for the for
the Reb to talk to in any case. So he
called her over what what exactly he
said
um
something to the effect of
[Music]
some something along those lines. I
don't recall exactly
>> but uh so that my mother was a
was stuck inv
was nostalgic.
So be a month and a half later. So the
freeb said my father should become a
>> was involved with the with the
to your knowledge.
>> I I don't I don't know anything to that
not to my knowledge. No.
>> Okay. But you know is not right.
>> So they got so they they feel they got
to become a in Iowa.
>> I don't know. I don't know if you said
Iowa left Africa. That's where the was.
I mean
>> that seems to be an occupation that many
people were being involved with then we
just wrote a whole article about the
whole thing about Dublin in Ireland
that are doing that. I guess that was uh
>> I guess for America where
you it's you know so you need somebody
to sh the animals
>> right
>> okay so but that ultimately was not a
long-term thing they ended up moving
>> not they didn't live in in Davenport my
father was a sheh at um Kyamov
and
the rebbit didn't I mean there there was
once the wanted to bring him as a
rashiva and one of the new yeshivas
opening and uh the Reb said um
>> so the the job basically
>> yes it would seem like it because or I
mean
you know but that the Reb wanted him to
stay there
you know
>> and so why did he move to Chicago.
>> No, there was No, I'm talking Pittsburgh
now. No, I mean from from Davenport to
Chicago. I I don't know what it
what occasioned the the move um from one
place to the other. I'm I'm not sure you
know how that went. I can't imagine they
would move without asking the Reba.
>> So they're living at in Pittsburgh.
That's where you
>> in Pittsburgh is where my mother of
course grew up
>> was to start yeshiva in Pittsburgh.
Yeah. So they they they started the yes
is yeshiva. But the truth was is that
Mut Aline
was as a ber yet came to so that you
know he was the first one who came there
to start gathering kids but as a you
know actually as a school and
>> it's my understanding that the shist
that were started by the you know the
all over there was a little bit it
wasn't necessarily a long term a lot a
lot of the people that stayed in that's
what they did long term but they were in
various locations doing Certainly and
especially as a bak um you know that you
know obviously different conditions
necessary for what a baka needs and
what's for needs. So yeah, I mean it was
>> I know like I know like uh Groner was
was he was in Chicago also
>> Chicago and Buffalo and Bridgeport.
>> He's not the only one that that a few
places
>> come out all of them.
>> Yeah.
>> The only one I know that never moved was
my ZA that was that ever sent him to
base and uh
>> so shaler he he learned
but he came to America early right? M B
and Za they became a cross in Kala in in
Russia
in
um
>> so she's she's niece
>> she my babe is Katcha's sister-in-law
>> khach was married to my bab's sister
>> okay
>> okay in other words labeled Satalin was
uh
um her father and so her sister was and
my brother was Aron laser not laser
labeled Satellin and Aron laser was her
brother her older brother and she had a
sister Sasha who was married to
and my bubba
>> s hasn't come in Russia
>> and then my um papa had
another sister was in Israel so she was
able to get a certificate to go to
Israel and my followed her a couple of
months later I believe I I don't think
it was a very long time but it was was a
period later and they got married in
nisro and they were naris
and they were there in pas when the
freba came my at the time was a
um
um my told the rebba I mean what I'm
sorry the told me to go to America
and my
bubble went to America America and then
saw the again when the came to America
the festadic.
>> So they follow the essentially
>> basically in between but with the both
in
Israel and in America for the first
visit.
>> Is there a reason that we know why the
sent to America? Well, um
when the Reb came to um American Tshin,
my Zeda was came to the Reb. They were
living in Chicago at the time
and my was I think Shamish or something
to take care of Shulu and Shul and we
came to the Reb
told him then
America and he told him
>> he didn't
I didn't send you to America to do that
and that's when
he told him about
I don't know exactly the timeline what
it was but that's when it changed.
So when when the fed came to America is
when my
>> So your mother
was your mother was alive when the when
the when the freed came to
>> no just my two older uncles. There's a
story that
>> when actually my zeta the whole time
that free the reb was ro so my za just
was was with the reba the whole time m
the whole time at one point
um I believe it was my uncle or maybe it
was my one of the two um was sick
babies.
So um
my papa went to with him to katcha her
brother-in-law was there. I don't know
if she actually went into the Reb or
something, but the
either brought her in or whatever and
my was I don't know exactly where it was
at that time, but the whole time this
was the day before the Reb or a couple
of days before the Reb left
when the Reb left
so
okay
on the train
when came to the Reb.
So he asked was kind
but they didn't didn't know anything. So
they the understood what happened and
it's
>> so they but he wasn't around New York
ever.
>> No.
Um
I I don't know how often
during the shins my zeda came to the
reba
that I don't know. Um but certainly not
my mother. Um
my
uncle
and my uncle were learning in teras.
>> Your uncle label
>> label. Yeah. were learning in teras kids
>> because there was no Yeshua
>> there was no Shiva there no other place
there was no and when the open
so they went over right away
>> so your your and your uncle whatever and
Z are the first
>> no not because they were they were young
then okay so I don't know what how the
how it was with the kit okay what when
exactly that started Um but you know
from from the first of that you know
>> but they were raised in America
essentially.
>> Not essentially entirely. Oh they were
born in Israel but
actually my still has a a um copy of the
passport that he had
says born in Palestine.
>> Yeah.
>> An American passport born in Palestine.
>> Born in Palestine.
>> So okay. So let's move on to
so you are born in Pittsburgh and you
went to so you attended
the school that you say
>> I attended
from the time I was I guess two or three
whenever kindergarten started a nursery
till the end of 8th grade. Yeah.
>> And then for forana high school mifa
whatever it's called you went
>> I came to New York to bed for
>> yeah shortly before my bits.
Did you stayed in the dormatory?
>> Stayed in the dormatory. My mother went
to Bisankov
>> in New York.
>> In New York. This is already high
school,
but they didn't have a dormatory. So
they had to
board with families in Williamsburg to
be able to go to Bisankov. When she
came, she was the first class where they
took even out of town. The place wasn't
yet ready for her. The first night she
slept on a bench. Okay, that was I think
Buck had serious.
>> But you didn't have to sleep on a bench
in Bedford and Dean.
>> I didn't have to. And Bedford and Dean
had a luxurious dormatory right in house
was fivestar.
So, and um the kids in Bedford and Dean
that the bakim
they were mainly they were labeer kids
or
>> actually no I mean I'm not going to give
you percentages but there were quite a
few non-libature kids in in even in high
school and as if you know certainly in
in in the younger grades that were came
from
non labavich families. So how did it
work? Because I like Rebel was was
taught you.
>> Rebel taught us.
>> So he taught the non-alib kids also. How
does that work?
>> There there was Yeah. Yeah.
>> So everyone had to speak Yiddish.
Everyone
>> or understood Yiddish. Remember these
these kids were already
I mean mostly children of course of
survivors. Okay. So, in that the houses
were were houses where Yiddish was
spoken. Um, they knew Yiddish at least
as well as I did. I mean,
>> right. Cuz you
>> I I heard Yiddish in the house, but I
didn't speak Yiddish. I mean, it wasn't
a
>> Your father didn't speak to you in
Yiddish.
>> I definitely answered him in English.
And
>> because your mother also is American,
right?
>> Yes. My mother spoke to us in English
and uh my father Bal didn't speak a lot.
My father used to sit learn and he was
not uh
and even when he spoke he spoke you know
very uh I from my father the only time I
really heard at length stories from my
father would be um after the seder pes
after the seder you know in the
beginning
I thought maybe it's the arbacis
but then I realized no it was
so What would he tell you
>> about how he was who grew up in my
sister and how he wasn't when he was a
kid and then you know
>> so you're in
and so you have you have
>> Rabiel was um would teach those days. So
there were not misa raiel would teach I
believe it was already the what was
considered the zal
um yeah
[Music]
there was taught then also but from the
I don't even recall you know the the
first one yeah taught then also I mean
um
and one or two others
the the regular um sedus
that was at night what taught that was
not even zal okay that would be after
evening okay from what 8 to 9:30 or
whatever I'd like to say it is now so
Rabiel would teach the younger ka
from twice a week and the older ka three
times a week
he would give a share
>> and he He also fabang for for
>> he used to bring you to that was the
fabbran. I mean
would be not but like if I bring in you
know adak
that was twice twice I said
>> but I hear from other people like taught
them and is that time or that
>> first of all
taught us I mean to to sit twice a week
and sit three times a week and get a
share I mean yeah I've learned
okay I learned
most actually was different That's what
he he taught us one year one certain
that you know yeah we learned that then
of course in 770 I mean we just give
short episodes.
>> Mhm.
And what was the um
when you were a kid in I'm going
backwards. When you were a kid
>> in Pittsburgh
>> in Pittsburgh,
your father would bring you to the
often or not often or what was the
>> My father used to go always
I don't remember whether you yes or no
as a Okay. So you he would take you
>> so
he would take me. However, the first two
years I remember the first year was
probably I was nine or whatever I was
going to go to the so I was so excited I
got sick.
The second year
so I ended up the first time I went to I
think I was already 11.
>> What year is that?
>> So it would have been
so you saw the
>> I saw the
Yeah.
>> And you're 11 years old, so you're ready
with the with the program. You could be
there the whole time.
So you remember Hakus
from from Tashal?
>> Yeah.
>> Were there a lot of kids there?
>> I wasn't counting the kids. I you know
it was it was not I didn't I didn't see
the kids. I I
>> But you remember you remember the Reb
teaching? Well, something
>> I remember the Reb standing on something
and teaching. I think the Reb stood by
his he stood by his fbring in place
but he didn't sat down at all then okay
it would because it was just giving
mashk and then the niggan and giving
mashk
>> like he people describe it was on a milk
crate or on a table on a bench I
>> but I saw I'm quite sure it was the
standing on his by his fbring place
>> on the floor on the floor
>> there was no on his finger place where
sit there but then stand stood on a on
what on on
>> on the platform
the used to sit by the fab on a
platform. So on top of that platform,
>> yeah,
you know, again, I could be making a
mistake. You know, I'm not gonna because
actually one time in my mind, I was
picturing the Reb standing on a uh box
on a milk crate. But then I realized it
was because of a picture that I had
seen. I picture I mean a drawing that I
had seen that was just fun. Then I was
like tried to focus. Did you really see
that? No, I didn't. I remember I didn't.
So, what was it like as a
as a kid to to come to the Reb?
>> The first time I came to the Reba was
actually a school trip like the eighth
grade was going to the it was a school
trip. It was
um I believe for Purim.
>> So, the first time you saw the Reb when
you were 13? The first time I saw the
reb first time I saw the reb well I saw
as a child but I don't remember. The
first time I saw was tankai
I was by the fabbrangan pur shai. No no
no I don't remember much about the
fabbrangan. Okay I remember it was a
pink the hall the paint was pink. I
remember there's a lot of mirrors there.
Um
honestly okay I was towards the end I
actually went into the Ezra Noshim and I
was sitting on my aunt's lap. Okay, that
that uh what I remember I was seven
years old. Um and yes I there were kids
I remember also
>> but I'm you were seven years old in
eighth grade.
>> No tell a different story before
>> that I was um it could be that was at
that time. Yeah. No, this was earlier.
It was also a class trip. Um but no I
went because
there are certain advantages to having
not a lot but having your mother as the
principal I mean it's a um generally it
was a down thing because you know
obviously you got no favors but to go to
the reba that was something and then we
were by one year also a class trip was
by
and we also went in the next day to the
class and I remember the Reb speaking in
English to the class. I can't tell you
that I remember what the Reb said, but I
was astonished. Why would the Reb talk
in English? You know, this I mean it's
so but uh so those were two times that
I, you know,
>> was that a common thing that that they
would make a trip from Pittsburgh
>> I think it was every year. I'm pretty
sure
I remember that I remember afterwards,
you know, that all of the eighth graders
had to was an assembly with all the
eighth graders to tell over what was uh
what was um
you know what what the experience was
like
and then I I asked I was asked to say
you know what what was the most you know
impactful I don't recall the words that
were used took it but but what you saw
what was the thing that made the biggest
impression on you and I said
seeing the rebry was by the faban
so the kids in the school obviously did
not begin to understand what I was
talking about you know it was like they
didn't but but I and actually I remember
that
dialogue probably because they didn't
understand and I was thinking so why did
I say But that, you know, it's like the
Reb crying. It's not like us crying, but
>> you're saying you had a
[Music]
word for Yeah.
>> I I you know, I did wouldn't define it
as such, but yes, in retrospect, you
must say that. I mean,
>> it also probably has to do with your
upbringing and who your parents were za
was. No,
>> I probably had something to do with it.
I doubt it was because of the I learned
to the burim that I had read.
>> Did you hear from your za or your
parents these type of things or didn't
talk about things like we do today?
>> Honestly, I would hear more stories
about than about
and you know later when I came to
yeshiva and I started hearing all these
mices and and why why didn't my parents
tell me these stories? I mean they
obviously knew them in the was like but
what's and because my parents weren't
trying to raise a reba they were trying
to raise aid. So the stories they told
were stories of um there's something
from the about that I forgot who it was
too
the told somebody
to say I forgot who it was to the told
someone to say stories of
because
it's relatable. I'm saying it's
something that you can achieve to
>> that's for too.
>> It's not to say they didn't tell stories
of but but you know the there was
unusual ah story about the Reb was like
>> Mhm.
Okay. So back to Bedford and so once
you're Bedford and Dean
you were by the
how often like on Shabas day.
>> Yeah. No um Shab every Shabas. Um Shabas
was in um even though it was Bedford and
Dean but we're never in yeshiva on the
weekends.
>> Where was the dormatory?
>> The dormatory was in Bedford and Dean
and Shabas we used to be by families in
Crown Heights.
>> So you had the same family.
>> Well the first two years I stayed by
Almashim because Shashim had been in
Pittsburgh because we were very close.
So that that and then the next two years
yeah families of
>> Shiman was on East Parkway the whole
time. Actually, at the time he was
living on No, he was living on Lincoln
Street
like opposite opposite the other side of
763.
>> So you're 14, 15
and
like you did every the whole the whole
time. You have a place like
>> Yep. Um I had a place was it was like
near the Arkadesh.
Um remember this was a small sh so the
ankadesh was you know
>> this is the first sh downstairs
>> the first sh downstairs yeah
>> the first fabbrangan that I remember
more of a lot of was fabbrangan
that was already
was still in the shalash and I remember
getting getting wet from the somebody
pushing up as I was coming in pushing up
the
the tarp and this and that
>> that fabbran I stood near my zeda who
stood on the
like next to where Rashag used to sit
behind Rashag
and at what point at one point the Reb
called me over and he gave me a piece of
misanas
and he told me told me to make a bra
while I was standing there. This is
>> this is when you were a kids though.
>> Yeah, but I was
>> so called you over.
>> Yeah, it wasn't far. I mean I Yeah, I
said
so the I don't remember how I mean how
the Reba motioned me but to come over.
>> That's unusual. No,
>> I would think so. Again, I wasn't there
so often to know how usual it was. Was
it anything like that when you were
bakin?
>> In the middle of a fab call me over and
give me no something.
>> It happened when I was actually but not
not when I was a
>> during you're part of the part of the
crowd.
>> I was working to become part of the
crowd. I can't even say that I was part
of the crowd. I was like it took a long
while until I stood by a fabbran and
actually for the most part understood
something of the fabbran. Okay. um the
the the first I'm not going to tell you
how many years, but to be able to
understand more than a couple of
sentences was uh and yes, I I was very
envious of those bim that did understand
and and could understand.
>> So you had friends that were able is it
because they had more exposure from
before or I don't know
>> because they were
>> you're not talking about the language.
You're talking about
>> No, no, no. I'm talking I'm talking
about the understanding. probably
because they were midish because they
were bigger masid and because they were
you know
>> Mhm.
But eventually so while but while you're
learning in Bedford and Dean at some
point you already were able to pick up
and be part of it and understand
>> I remember the first
that the Reb said that I understood from
the beginning till the end you know the
the the shila the terrets and the
it was
I don't know if it was in in bay or was
in m parases
And I've looked for the
and haven't been able yet to find it.
But it's like I I just and talking about
the question the child asked was why you
know why why the first um mitzvah is
about that
uh that why it's um
we have a lunar calendar not a solar
calendar and there was maser the
difference between a lunar and a solar
is the lunar is constantly changing and
the Sun is a constant,
doesn't change, unchanging.
And
goes up, but if you're going up,
sometimes you fall. And when you fall,
you could think that
the moon even after it falls, it comes
back and it comes back more each time. I
remember that not being able to
certainly at the time not understanding
that when he comes back more but
and you know that a person should know
that uh needs the first thing aid needs
to know is that even if he falls for
fallen you know you can it's it's like
almost part of part of living is
sometimes falling and knowing that you
can pick yourself up and go higher and
higher and higher and I I don't remember
at the time what disaster I had was
facing or had just had or whatever. I I
failed the test. It was I knew I was
going to f but I was like in a state of
mind of that my life is over already.
You know was 14 years old or 15 whatever
it was and already you know it's
finished and I remember standing there
and thinking to myself wow I do have a
life left. You know, it was I remember
walking home from why I think that it
was precious bay because I remember I'm
pretty sure it was uh one of those
fabangans when
um and because I remember walking home
at night with and seeing the
reason why it's probably not
and looking up and wow yeah
I still have a life ahead of
failing a test.
>> No, no. My problem was that I didn't
realize how much of the sinite but yes
definitely they never thought of it as a
>> is brought to you by
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the podcast. So, you're already so
you're experiencing
a buck
the effect of what you're hearing from
the it's
special. I don't know if um I don't know
as many adults
>> you know in those days we didn't even
think of ourselves you know I don't know
I can I think think of myself not of
ourselves but it's
okay we were kids I mean you're a kid
you're not a you know in my head at
least in any case you want to be a ber
you it's you got to imitate bim you have
to but you knew you wanted to imitate
bakim and you knew this is possible
if you want to be a a but definitely you
know is
imitates
okay it's you know
until you become a if you're going to
doing that imitating so worse things
>> and in those years the
your age had for their birthday right
you had
>> I did Yeah. Yeah.
Um
and um
without going into the entire story
because
it's
it's it's
um
>> some people say some people say this is
a fab.
>> Yeah, I understand. Okay. Um but as long
as this is iced tea and not mashka, it's
going to be a podcast. No one has to
know
>> where with the Reb
to be able to
gave me a very um difficult job
basically
that I should undertake.
bet under. This was an answer in
writing. Sob
said to me
underlined twice
underlined once to make up to deter with
with great determination
to
learn with intense
effort and constant
And it was like, can I say I'm going to
>> This was an answer on a question that
you had,
>> right? Yes.
>> And this is like a
>> Yes.
>> That gave you.
>> Yep.
And
I uh
it was like, you know, I couldn't, but I
knew I had to. And I asked again,
and the Reb said, "I answered you
already." like are you going to do it or
not?
I I remember the feelings at the time.
It was so the first I answered you
already
like but this was almost a year ago. How
does the Reb like you know
honestly I wasn't even sure if the Reb
knew who I was at that age and but the
Reb is telling me exactly you know I
told you already why why are you asking
me again and there was vested
are you going to do it or not I'm but
why are you asking again you're the one
that has to answer not me and there was
looking down and waiting for me to
answer yes or no.
>> So the first time was and the second
time is
>> and the Reb is looking down and he's
waiting for me to answer
and I was like I stood there it it felt
like two hours. I mean I didn't to talk
to the Reb to answer a question like
this. I mean, it was like and until
finally I was with my last kas almost I
I managed almost imperceptibly
to nod my head just uh like what and
there's looking down and and as soon as
I like moved my head a drop there looked
up I don't know if it was with a smile I
don't remember a smile but I do remember
it was like upon him like you know a
and he said to me,
"If you'll just remember that you
promised me, you'll certainly be able to
do it." And at that point, it was like
the Reb is making a deal with me. Like,
who am I? And the Reb is now saying
there there's like a we have a a
transaction going on here. I you
promised me and I'll give you
you'll be able to do it. That that
promise is going to make make you able
to do it. Now what what does it mean?
Why would the promise make me able to do
it? Because the knowledge that and
here's where the Reb is investing in
this partnership. No, with the knowledge
that if I don't do it, the Reb will be
disappointed and if I do do it the Reb
will be happy. In other words, the Reb
is saying you are now someone who's
important to me.
And I couldn't like me
I I don't remember how I I I don't
remember nothing else what said. I don't
remember how I left the room. I I just I
was so
I guess you might say I've said it
before that that's when I began to
understand
that the definition of aid is not
someone who believes in ab
you don't have to be aid to believe in
okay you have to look brains you
aid is somebody
who
recognizes
that the Reb believes in them and he
acts on that belief
and that's
um No, I'm not going to answer your
question.
Did I or didn't I? But
>> and
>> that's irrelevant. But this feeling you
had then were you describing you like
this
>> that was right that oh becoming a no
that it's already you know as it
developed at that time I just like
from that point on my I I realized that
my relationship with is not a
theoretical one and it's not a communal
one it's a personal one it's a personal
relationship that is and and everything
that followed
It was
based on that feeling understanding
recognition that a aid is not
one of a is aid a reb is not a of
he is all of that but he's my reb
and I owe him
He gives me but I owe him
and uh
I owe my reason.
So the so this was a important uh point
in that uh
>> I I you know I uh it was a
a paradigm shift let me call it that to
the extent that 14 or 15 year olds have
paradigms but
certainly it's the one with which I I
try to live.
Okay. So let's continue with this uh now
that we have that in mind so we
understand
you know your the way you're viewing
things then so we can continue
um ultimately I believe that uh so you
bet for
>> so for four years I'm sorry six years
actually not it was five because I
skipped a grade.
I skipped two grades.
I skipped two grades. So I was there
four years.
And then from there we went to Newark
which is today Morristown. That was
Newark.
>> That was the S then.
>> Yeah. So certainly from Bford the next
>> because you're too young for S7.
>> Yeah.
So it was two years in New
>> York
and was
actually the first year. So Abu was also
there.
Um and then after um two years in
Newark,
I guess I was afraid of sub70, you know,
in terms of learning that was just
I'm not going to defend the defend the
uh decision although
of course I asked it but there was like
I didn't get an ambiguous answer. I got
a very
>> what did you ask? if I should go there
to learn.
>> So you're saying you're not going to
defend it?
>> Maybe I shouldn't. Okay. But I want I
actually went away from that for two
years. Okay. I instead of spending the
next two years in 770, I spent the next
two years.
>> So in hindsight, you
know, people say hindsight is always
2020. I don't necessarily feel that way.
Um
yeah, in in hindsight, I regret not
being by all those fabricans.
Um in hindsight,
how do I know that I would have actually
been the Bak I should have been in 770
with all of the temptations for being,
you know, wasting time that that exists
there
and that
I didn't necessarily have well I didn't
have those type of temptations. I hope
that uh because of that I was able to
learn
but uh it was uh so I'm not going to say
I I I regret part of it. I don't regret
the decision and
I I was in before I went there to after
Yam I was in
but it was right before I went and said
tob
said to me
remember you're not going to you're
going to
be
there's options you just ask if you
should
So
>> yeah. Oh, you were both
okay. So you went there.
So this is
>> so this is post. No is still there.
>> Yeah.
I would say if I have a near and I'm not
going to say I have a shim but to the
extent that I may have some shim because
of
>> so what was happening
what was going on there
what
>> so what was
the like when you saw that they were
like your your speed or they were like
they're from a different world Um
there were those that were my speeds and
there were
you grew up
for for years. You know what's going on
was like there like
>> you know
I'm going to give you a a h that I think
is very important to understand.
I am
firmly of the opinion
that the bakim today
are far better
than than the in my time and
the bim up until
other words the postglamas
in in a call are far
things that we
strived for
by them it seems second nature almost
and
the reason that you know of obviously
it's counterintuitive you know they grew
up they didn't see the reba they went by
the reb some of their parents went by
the reb you know and and and never by if
I bring never never by dollars never
never d by and yet
and and you would think and certainly
that's what we thought on on that it's
over you know if you don't have you
don't you're not by the
certainly by not by the or even answers
so how can you be be
and give a cook
and then even more than before.
Why is it and again there's no such
thing as a a rule without an exception
or even many exception but as a rule
when I was a in our time before
the definition of
began with he's not going to miss a he's
not going to miss even a ding if it's
possible. Certainly not
or
and later
these are like
and the more
that that that
more that more that kid was attached to
that okay to to running for on a
weekday. How can I miss? Okay, even you
know to run away from holy because
there's going to be a even though you
can hear the too but haste you know it's
like out maybe there
that's
problem of course is what was he
thinking about the
what was he thinking about the
and what kind of did he the only one
that knew that was the no one
That did not go into the equation of how
others define that.
Today you don't have any of that. So the
definition of is not whether he was by
the minion. The definition is how is it
not you were by the it's saying over the
fab. It's not um you know the
being gashi is close
it's being is close
it's pion being is close and there is no
gashmas
other than to the extent the or 770 but
it's not even there to be close in in
to be close in by the to be close to the
you have to be close
and you know it. You you can't fool
yourself into thinking just because I
came to the what what are you what are
you thinking about it then
you know that
so
automatically it becomes a an entire and
of course was haste the not to long for
the days of the fbrangan but that
longing part of that longing is because
then it's so much easier I just got to
show up to the fbrangan I did it today.
>> I can just show up to the video. I have
to actually listen and understand that
are over and live by it, which is a
whole different uh they relate very much
to what you're saying.
Um
you know, in my times I was a ban not so
long ago, over a decade ago, but the big
scheme of things is not so long ago.
You're one of the bak I'm talking about.
>> Okay. Uh um it's interesting that I
noticed
that like you're saying that you could
have had a very
especially in the later years that might
have been but didn't understand it
wasn't you can't tell you what the said
and when I was if you're if you watch
the
you have to be able to repeat it to your
friend and talk about it in order you
weren't you you don't go to a video
>> to say I was by the video.
>> Okay. I mean the only reason you go to
the video is to listen to understand and
okay to the extent that now you live by
the
okay that's where things become a little
bit more difficult a lot more difficult
and a bit more complicated.
I mean, you know, it's like,
>> so it's a lot harder.
>> Of course. Of course.
>> Of course. Oh, up until the part. Up
until the Okay. Because if you by the
faban and just stood there, then the are
not going to be on your head in the same
way that when you were by the faban that
you were listening to and that you were
and and and and internalizing. Okay.
Then you know when you walk away from
that, you are going to be acting
differently. There's no getting away
from it.
Okay.
>> Was easier than before.
Oh,
>> now it's easier.
>> Why? It's easier. I don't mean that the
actual work is easier, but easier to
make to to actually do the work.
>> I think I see I think the the golus
today is
the gal part is like you know the
mikdash
everyone came just to show up
and I think the goal today you know post
is
For when you access it, it's a lot
deeper. But it you have to it's not it's
not as accessible just just showing up.
You can't just show up because if you
just walk in 70
like those in the last that gave
that that
of the fact that that
is behav
Okay. In a beautiful world with easy it
helps you to do all those things
from the golus. Okay. That causes of of
golus
the idea of golas. Okay. We're not even
in we don't feel exiled per semis.
Okay. I mean anybody who wants it can go
to Israel. But the goal that we're in
that golus that causes
is bigger even than the causes of the of
that where was even those aren't words
that we heard before Gimble Thomas or
for before Gimble Thomas those were the
last mishes the end of the mimer it's
it's it's that part of the mimer there's
no question but that's why it's the why
why you know
is is not just nice words put together.
It's that is
and and and that's exactly what is
saying. Okay, this this we're in right
now
the ping and that was that was
that's the highest type of that's
okay
sounds like a plan. So back to you we
got into this we had mentioned about the
>> ah so now we come to the
and you ask me who's
the same kind so no they didn't know
what the said last week okay or even two
weeks ago
they they didn't know what's going on in
77 they're like I know what's going on
seven they were certainly never in they
were never
many of them most of them the vast
majority Majority of them
wasn't
they lived
but their living was actually a more
pimistic living. Okay. because it was
living the rebel
is doing acting on the reb
was more Indian
that is
everybody went and everybody did and was
likely to sc in those days was basically
film okay but much more than America
much much more than the bak that was
sitting by the reb
But in that was the biggest casher to
the rabb
was the casher to the rabb's
thing
you know you
was
alter also as okay but with the film
>> it's interesting so you saw like a
deeper whatever different types of
>> am I telling you that that's exactly the
way I process it at the time I doubt
Um, but I mean certainly subconsciously
that was I looked at them as
I mean certainly not less than me and
for the most part more than me.
>> Okay. Um maybe you could tell me a
little bit about the castle.
>> I can tell you that the once said
discussing the
what can I do
I only have one to be able to send I
can't send all of them.
Okay. So like I'm everything else is not
that now
you could see lived the bah the bah were
his life
and he
he knew every ban
and
he
but it was a I mean aid
Okay.
One of one of the things he said
clogged. Okay. Sophium in the hospital
and he wasn't uh
uh wasn't they had to sit up you know so
they had like a couple of pillows behind
him so he should be able to couple
and said like so many years I didn't
sleep on a pillow scuffier. So now they
give me like it's like look look what
happened to me. It was like that that
that kind of he he didn't make this
announcement. This is that he said
obviously to someone
but you know to even have such a mus
and he uh
I obviously I heard this coffee before
that's most of the but
I mean obviously okay
but what what that even looks like but
um but once
table and there was a bottle of soda on
the table and didn't take it and he
scaff you know made him drink the soda.
Okay. So it's like
that as as a
okay you know that authentically not it
should be a
once was being metire that he'd seen
maybe it was pap
I don't know what he saw but a ber
eating a sandwich and he's retired how
the ber uh
like
what's he upset about that his mouth
can't open wide enough to be able to
push the whole sandwich in at the same
time and he has to and the way he was
tired like it was the element could
catch it but I have to tell you I didn't
stop eating sandwiches but I don't have
the same feel for a sandwich when I eat
it there's always that you know little
like what are you doing
>> goats goats
Interesting.
But you never heard this from a
>> No. No. Honestly, no.
I mean, I never heard anything from Abel
that would in the slightest way
um
imply that it was not important or not
of of Okay, it wasn't. There's no quote.
and negative towards but that wasn't
what was um
was the rebel was the the
was the honesty okay is authent
authenticity
is not
which is you know it's like
it's easy to act like you have a scafia
when you don't.
That's the downside of scafia.
In other words, you can push something
away. I heard from a one time he said
like this.
He said you have two yeshiva then the
same yeshiva. One bak says it's a good
yeshiva the other the same the same the
same it's a bad how is it possible? So
it's very possible
there two of them are sitting opposite
each other by supper and one of them
it is not eating half the food on the
plate
because not good food the other side is
sitting in bak and he doesn't eat half
the food on his plate because he's
probably very much like
they eat see the other so he looks over
and sees that this buck is probably
miscio wants
other
this was looking over there and says he
also doesn't like the food. Okay, this
is a lousy place. You know, not only my
growth, but everybody's grow. So, you
know, it's like it but the actions don't
actually show what's happening.
Um,
and is not somebody who lives my
father-in-law
when he was a he said he shouldn't say,
but I heard it from him, not from
others. Okay. So, I'll say it. So, my
come once to 7:70 early in the morning.
those days there was no planes. of those
have planes, but you didn't go on a
plane.
And um so he's sitting on a train the
whole night and then and then a subway 7
day and he comes into 7 7:30 in the
morning and my he's not there
is not there. is not sitting and
learning there.
>> You say that
>> comes into this episode
say he's probably still walk down the
street. There was a apartment the corner
of Troy I think whatever walks in
he's doing what does you know when when
you go to sleep late. Okay.
And he says to him, "What's that sign
there? What's going to be with you? Is
looking for the worst thing you could
say is
you'll grow up to be if you don't this
was this kind of behavior." There's
nothing worse than that.
And it's not just that this is what my
sad felt. He was talking to his about in
a way that he wanted him to understand
how terrible it is. So at least I'll
from from one perspective another
should have been able to relate to that
because that's what you're supposed to
be.
Okay. And if you're not
>> and okay
also used to talk about
talk about it. It's not just talk about
it.
First of all, he's used to the D. That's
the And without a question, you know,
but it was um
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
I I remember I was there one year
and I I remember
uh a young man comes in by night for
and he sits down to Mar
and he was crying
crying for hours.
And if I would have seen somebody like
that in 770, I mean got something like
that in 77 you would get towels thrown
at you.
And here it was
it was it was normal in other I know it
wasn't normal that you saw a lot of it
but the the presumption was not
difficult to make that he's for real.
I don't know what goes on in anybody's
heart barely my own but but that was the
atmosphere there was an atmosphere where
you know some crying for hours but on
the other hand every night it's Russian
the first night of Russia but but you
know the notion to davin
he would talk about you know how
it's difficult he he he dabs longer just
during the week and then he comes
downstairs and there's no more breakfast
left. You know, he's left there. That
that's like it's a double thing. Sai is
feeling bad for the poker dav has no
breakfast and he's also feeling upset
that all of the other had a good
breakfast. Why? Because they didn't die
with societ. They didn't die when they
ate a good breakfast. It was that was
the the atmosphere.
Everybody d
but um the dinging was in the air.
Dining was part of the curriculum. It
was a major part of the curriculum or
major part of the program. Let me say
it's hard to make a curriculum for ding
other than just learn.
Um,
he would there was a
name.
Those that live in my days know
he's no less today was more than he was
then. And he used it
and
sent over to their
picked up
but you know it's like
later you know spoken
>> yeah how do I hear it I mean obviously
but more than once
maybe didn't when the buck was actually
there. Um or I I remember once when they
did when the buck was there and how the
buck was like so you know I can't
imagine I want to make but uh
it was a that the obviously showing the
tire that it has by
and this was still in the days when
there was not unusual to have that
undercurrent of
never came to I told you
never came to the
>> guys would speak about it
I mean I it wasn't a deadly thing but it
was certainly there were many you know
for that reason you know
never
addressed it was like
yes you either you know by a fang or you
know alone
you know himself you know
only after came out okay and you see
the letters okay well you don't see
letters although some of them now we do
have okay but the letters to him how
there no you can't come no you can't
come no you can't come and that
to be able to come and the Reb didn't
let him and never a word. He never
defended himself.
>> Never defended himself.
And I heard from when he came
afterwards
and then said that was the three
>> and
was apparently talking very strong words
of
that that night. You there?
>> No.
>> I heard about it.
>> Yep.
>> But where were you? You drive.
>> I was a
>> Oh, you
okay?
>> That I can't like get over.
>> You can't get over there. You missed it.
>> Yes.
>> Did you go Did you stay there for two
years or you came back?
>> No, I did not come back.
>> You came for two You were stay there two
years straight.
>> Well, a year and a half. Yeah. Yeah.
>> Didn't have money. I mean, it was like
plain and simple. It was the I I my
parents didn't have money. It wasn't
>> Okay. Okay, so we got one full regret
that you missed your
>> more than one, but yes, that's a
definite
>> one of the integral components of being
aid are the
whether it's
or
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living with David.
>> So after a year and a half, so you
decided to go back to 770 as what was
that?
>> Well, first of all, was there
um
>> while you were there?
>> Yeah.
I think either lame in the day or the
most test
can't come on a Friday, right?
Yeah. So, I came back77. Actually, my
sister was getting married then also.
>> You asked them about it?
>> Yeah, of course.
>> Okay.
um you wouldn't get on an airplane to go
to or from those days without asking
there first or over over the ocean.
It's not a
of course
it was to come back to
um actually it was I didn't know what at
the time it was actually to uh to get
married.
So your sister was getting married,
>> right?
>> Yeah. That was the ostensible reason.
>> So then you wanted to move over to
Siller the same same thing.
>> Yes.
>> And you're saying that that ended up
becoming a case. So the tale what
happened?
>> What happened was I met my future wife.
>> So what happened? I mean
>> um there was there was such a shak was
proposed and the Reb pushed it very
strongly.
What have you been done to push that
that uh should happen as quickly as
possible?
>> So can you elaborate what happened?
>> Yes. The first time it was proposed I
was told who proposed who proposed I
don't remember exactly who was the first
one to but it was brought to the
was very much in favor of it and to the
point that they should send somebody to
or find somebody that could talk to me
in ask me if I wanted to get married. So
while you were
>> at the age of 19.
>> Yeah. At 19. Yeah. Sending who did that
tell us to
>> probably my parents I imagine my parents
>> to send someone to so that was pushing
for the
Yeah. And I uh
so it was actually my aunt who was an
ex.
So she asked me if I wanted to get
married. So I thought she was like it
was very clear that it should actually
coming from him
>> you know shouldn't just to ask the
question
and I like
so I I I gave the answer you know no
like not no
grace olive but no ma question are you
out of your mind I'm 19 years old no I
don't want to get married
>> it wasn't common to get married early
then No, no, I didn't know anyone
who would get married that early
>> anyways. No, I just as well was no one
that was but now that I was coming back
so that we brought it up again and
brought up to you not to me to my
parents
and
and my mother said to
learn
so I'm 20 but I
like this with his handle learn
that's not a
So I have a question. This has something
to do with you something to do with your
wife. Do you know did you understand any
understanding?
Do you understand what was under
I have no understanding whatsoever of
why other than while I was too early I I
cannot I I do understand from a very
very balatish perspective which was
while I may have been far
younger than the common age my wife was
not younger than the common age my wife
was already in the age of
>> she the same age as you
>> she is a little bit younger me less than
a year
because it's self
19 years old is very you know common
that
so I guess wanted so that's why
there's no reason to wait
>> so you didn't really learn 70
uh I did manage to get at least a little
bit that you know so we don't have make
the right away. So I got to push the off
till
this was
tas
off.
I got to push off it.
This paper was much
>> you as this thing but before
>> I don't remember if I asked or if my my
parents asked I I do remember though
that that was the
>> so when you by the time you went out so
since I was learning
so there was no one learning that so I I
could just sit in the k with my and he
learns there
>> but so by the time you met your life
like for
>> Yeah.
>> Uh maybe you obviously knew her before
cuz she's your relative, but
you knew then that was pushing it.
Um
not I only I knew that knew of it. I did
not know that there was and I assume
that I didn't hear exactly. I've never
asked my parents for something like
that. But my assumption is that even
then the Reb didn't want me to know that
you know that is
the Reb said to my father to my parents
that they should talk to me right away.
I was coming up my son. They should talk
to me right away.
uh what
else me? So um
I don't mean right away tonight
you can wait till tomorrow morning.
>> No it was urgent. Uh as far as it was
concerned, actually my father told me
later that actually somebody came over
to him that morning after that day in
770 and wanted to know if he could talk
to Michael.
>> So okay. So they have the
behind the scenes it's pushing the
>> So you got married you were 20.
>> Yeah. when you're married. So, I guess
they convinced you.
>> Um,
no. I mean, they didn't convince me. Um,
yeah, I could I could say
the moment I knew that knew about it,
that they're asking me that it didn't
have to be that was pushing it, that was
enough. The knew about it. Obviously,
you know, it's not like the issue of
whether or not I should get married is
not a question now anymore. And the only
thing left meish is who to marry and
here's a suggestion actually
mother said okay so we'll make it done
you know when it was brought it up again
the second time that all right there was
I should it should be my decision
otherwise
>> so the style was that someone someone
mentioned it to them that's how it
started right
>> it I mean there one I think should I
don't think there ever was a situation
like that.
>> Okay.
>> Some
I just interviewed
>> everyone saw him
>> as a result of call someone mentioning
it.
>> So
you got uh so you got married. Where did
you get married?
>> We got buried in Nashville.
>> In Nashville.
>> Buried in Nashville.
And
then I was in Kao for two years.
When I left Kylo after two years,
I was still the youngest one to kill.
And um then we
to
No.
I went went into
ask thebas.
So the said
that we should go into
>> this is
what is
it was after two years ago or towards
the end of two years
>> like a like a birthday of
>> you with the wife with your wife is that
work?
>> Yeah.
>> And we should
>> you didn't have children yet?
>> No, we had your secret.
>> Yes, you did.
And
with
>> Yes.
>> So we went to
go to
>> you asked.
>> Yeah. Yeah.
We should
>> second. Pause for a second. Yes.
>> People are citizen.
>> Everybody
>> people.
>> Yeah.
>> That was the thing. People,
but you're talking about
the base,
>> but there was no didn't send
>> there was like or
>> people were going on to other
but
you know
Americans would send I mean Americans
was that stopped.
>> Mhm.
>> Okay. Okay. So he went he asked
to
the same person but
is good.
You should see that it should be good
even
materially good as well. In other
comfortable
even though
okay the spiritual place you're at is
the main thing but when you're in a
comfortable place materially you have a
head for spiritual things.
>> So the saying that the should be
ashistic and what what's the saying? It
would seem so yeah that in other should
be in under terms that are that are good
or that are comfortable.
My wife when she heard that was
devastated.
Um you know like what does the Reb want
from us? We should be thinking about
Kashmiris.
She took it
that came on her for I went from
straight and
I like I don't mean literally the
minute, but it went that same night and
my wife was walking up and down on the
eastern parkway was this roller and just
trying to make come to terms with this
terrible z
she had she said you hope that maybe
after 10 years the will call us in say
you don't have to anymore.
So we went to Khalikov and Khal was
Matsia
certain place
actually. So I said okay we're going
>> I said okay. Yeah.
So he smiles. He understood you know
what my where my yes came from. You know
if you get hats off from you don't say I
want to think about it or I want to talk
it over. one. So he said, "No,
I'm not asking you for an answer.
What I'm asking you is to take this I'm
giving this to you as
a a suggestion, but there may be other
suggestions out there. So get them as
well and then
write them in and decide where or write
them in.
Okay. So I sort of let it be known that
we were open for suggestion. I think we
got
13 or 14 different
from literally all over the world and
Australia America menu.
So we made the whole list
and I wrote them
obviously was the top of the list.
Yeah, sure. I said
and
the
the Reb
answered
that the savior now is that you pick.
So um you know and do it. So therefore,
pick where you want to go and learn
called me up. I said this a beautiful
answer from the Reba and I come to 770
and he shows me the answer and I wanted
to like you know what
and
we asked
said told us what what what is now
saying we should decide one
sees that I'm not happy so do you Do you
see what's going on here?
I was calling you b
and and what like call you b I said call
me b is not call I want everybody to
tell us where to go. I want to pay what
I know whereas is
but I'm going to do but my wife was an
not one but not sex.
So my wife
wrote to the basically with this and
what he should pick.
>> We're saying I think that the Reb did
choose the people at that time. No,
>> he didn't. Okay.
>> Look, the Reb said he didn't. Okay. I
You asked me if I'm keeping.
>> Okay.
>> So I uh we my wife wrote, you know,
basically we don't know where to go.
We're going to be we want to launch
because wants us to launch or will they
sending us you know not
answering him that I should send in the
list again send the list again.
So we sent the list in again
circle three places
and he said I should find out more about
these three places. One of them was of
course Amorest and two other places. I
should find out more about these places
pros and cons or whatever more problem
is more problem with these places and to
send it in.
So I did send it came back to obviously
so that's how we got to
the surrounding areas
and surrounding areas. So
let me tell you what how it starts. So
you come to Ammeris for the first time
mamish to see the place you know to
and I you have to talk to people so we
can talk. So there was something called
the Ammeris Jewish community at the
time. The Amish Amoris then even still
now was is just a college town. It has
Amoris had like five colleges three in
Ammeris and another two in adjacent
towns.
And so the Jewish community was just
basically professors, teachers,
professors, people I'm connected to.
Um, and I uh
made an appointment with the president
of the Amos Jewish community.
I come in and I explain buy house and we
want to and you know
could you give me some advice you know
how to you're here you know
my advice my advice is you should go
back to Brooklyn
that was my welcome to uh to Amoris it
wasn't easy um
but I didn't come by self or my wife and
I didn't come by ourselves. We came into
and uh we had in ways that were like the
it was like
just even we started we rented a
house right next to the campus. It was
more of a bungalow than a house. The
front was one big room that was the
kitchen and the living room and the
dining room and my office and the sh and
this is all one not very big room and
then two bedrooms behind the half a
wall. So that was like a that was the
first
but then we found and with with
saying uh a beautiful building house
like literally on the campus surrounded
on three sides
and uh within
less than a year we were able to buy it.
we've got
and uh
it was never easy.
Um
I can't say I'm not quite sure what
Kashm wanted us to have but the way it's
conventionally
defined I can't say we had a lot of it
in in Ammerst. Um
on the other hand, you know, it was
there's no place to raise money from in
Amorest because there's no community to
speak of, no Jewish community that so we
had to go, you know, it was always it
was always a struggle
um getting kids into the house. Um in
those days was a minion that's first and
foremost. Okay. Obviously minion shabas
right on Friday night shabas
and uh but during the week also it says
you're like communion you know it's like
so at the beginning we had Monday and
Thursday was uh
>> you looked at a like you have to make a
show to make a minion
>> yeah not just the minion okay obviously
the the meals and the classes and the
the programs and other programs there
weren't a lot of programs I mean like
the general the purm scene for in a purm
thing the purm scene was genally be
poor.
Um
but um we had um I'm going next week to
of someone who father what became the
scarf in Ammerst and whose mother became
a scarf in Amorest
and
I mean not the first his family
next week and he's marrying of course
into one of the quote blueblooded
families of and
it's
I'm sure it'll be as older siblings are
most of us are and uh
so so definitely definitely saw
>> we saw we see continue to see the is
we've always had what to eat.
We didn't necessarily always have the
money with which to buy it, but
ultimately it got to the table. So what
was I'm saying
this is a general question also that you
later
um
what was the attitude? The attitude was
I feel like today people are
>> in my key there.
>> Mhm. Not everybody want touch.
>> I'm talking about the money part.
>> That was my question. I'm sorry. What do
you mean?
>> What was the attitude of
today? I feel like people are much more
you have to have you have to raise you
have to spend according to what you
have. Seems like then the whole thing
was
like
>> before I could go to Ammerst
wanted
signed commitments from three or five
that they would help
support it.
there wasn't with money amounts but that
they disappointed who wanted signed
commitments.
So I had to go find five balabat I have
to mention but it was in Springfield at
the time
who was more than helpful.
Um
he himself used to give shim and from
time to time there was the connection
and his
um was very much involved in getting
this going. He helped us tremendously.
He was the one who came to
asking they should send somebody.
>> Okay. He was and he was you know
obviously was important but that was not
enough wanted to have five I think was
five four whatever I had to go to these
are people
um rabbis commitment I said I'm asking
for any money amount I just ask him to
sign a piece of paper that you're going
to help
and he accepted the the commitments as
it were I was right in terms of how much
to expect from them and Um but uh so
yeah so so it wasn't but it was supposed
to be on on a basis of of of
reality as it were of you know not just
but um but no we we started with very
little in terms of practically knowing
where salam is going to come from gave
me a a good piece of advice about to
raise the money which was that I should
since I'm a America. So I get 50%
discounts from what I'm buying from
Americas. Then I should sell
subscriptions to talk and tales and
half of the money will go to me. So like
it's you know$120 a year it cost them or
something like that or it's 240 a year
and I can get each subscription get
a$120. So I have to sell 10,000
subscriptions of stocks and tells and
I'm I'm on the easy street.
you can't find 10,000 people to be
honest.
But
but my my question is ultimately h
looking back at you know this is over 50
years ago. Yeah.
>> Which which was love. So among the
things that ever said was to make camps
also camp or maybe it was a separate
thing for camps.
Some some it's in my head that it was
and so we wanted to open a day camp
and we went to the and the said
money for
>> there has to be money for it. Okay. for
me, you know, money for it means there
is money for it. It's not in my account,
but the money is there. It's in the bank
and I
>> So, we opened again.
>> So, you did again.
>> Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
>> So, that's my question. That's what I'm
trying to figure out. Trying to figure
out.
>> No, there was no money for it. And yes,
I was left with at the end of camp.
Okay. Um, and you know what? was it then
there is now
the notion to go into askabos for a
million dollars did not exist it was I
mean yeah existed but not this there's
no such thing
and
so it was or and now again I I'm talking
about myself and I can't extrapolate
from there to everyone else but the the
notion that you can do big things.
When looking around the other that
preceded me, I didn't see it so vividly.
There was one
but um
but I I can't become you know that was
not my not my speed and it wasn't just a
question of my speed. It's like he is
the
but
you know it's
the reb was screaming
and we were still you know
um and it took a while till you know our
eyes opened up to realize what is not
just what the Reb is asking from us what
the Reb is prepared to give us
>> but you but you felt during your years
of that you have a mandate to go and do
more than you can way beyond what you
think you can do. But that that was
clear to you always.
>> Yeah. And that's what you
>> Yes. Yes. When I'm buying the kabad
house. Okay. It's tak we got we got the
down payment,
>> right?
>> But you know I or maybe even the
mortgage I knew that was going to be
covered. So it was that part. But for me
it just undertaking such a kind of thing
was beyond me. But
um but you know even
okay but you know is is a whole another
kind of thing
and it's true
um you know
we'll go there. Okay. If he tells us to
and it never was telling us to.
>> So this was
>> I just didn't realize that never
actually meant it that we could actually
do it.
>> Right.
>> That we can actually do it. But this was
the amongst at that time that you know
you know the the going on
was still the going on was
it wasn't that was not the default
position
but yes I grew up it was the default
position it was never a question by me
but that many of my classmates did not
was not uh you know
and why cuz
I heard it from more than one I I
couldn't do what you're doing.
I couldn't do it. It's too much. How do
you do it? You know, how do you know
what it's anything's going to come from?
So
and then what that was
in a in a very
real way compared to what the atmosphere
at the time was today
something has to be matter not to go on
okay everybody obviously some it can't
but it's certainly you know it's not
wow he's going
it's yes he's
I mean let's say
okay
but it's uh
today the means
a million dollar building what are you
crazy okay
>> at least did you ever write to theba
about the hardships the financial
hardships
and things and
you never you never complain to the
about
Why for
why would I about if this claim to I'm
complaining that I'm not doing my job
the said should be good I'm going to
write to the it's not good hello
of course it's good
the only problem is I'm not doing
everything I need to do I'm not working
the way I should be working I'm not
I was on a podcast once
not year ago. This is not my first
podcast.
And the person asked me about Ammerst
and said,
"Do you moved from Amoris eventually to
to Stanford?" And he asked me, "Do I
feel that I was successful though during
the 15 years that I was in Ammeris?" So
I said, "No."
So he said, "Why not?" Because Mashiah
didn't come. If I was successful, a
Mashiah would have come. That's so why
did a Msiah come? Because Mashiach
doesn't want to come. Mashiah doesn't
come because we don't we're not doing
everything that we needed to bring him.
And you know if I was then then you
would be here and that was success.
So it is complaining that complaining I
don't have money is almost like hello.
Can you help me here?
That was not a letter I was going to
write.
of a snowfish that that something like
that could make.
Okay.
>> And
I'm not going to say that
it didn't
cratch. Of course, it cratches. Okay.
But it wasn't
it wasn't unusual. It was I didn't think
it was an unusual thing that needed I
mean yeah
it's that's part of goalless you know
it's not it's not something wrong it's
nothing wrong and it's not something I
never for a second question should I
really be on like maybe maybe this isn't
for me like that was like maybe I
shouldn't be a human being maybe I
should become an airplane I mean you
know I'm I'm this is who I am
actually
I hope that I have given my children
some of that because I didn't make it up
myself. I mean I got it from my parents
from my from my grandparents from
I always sort of read the alter saying
this is what I want you to be
that's you know what's ultimately what
is is called is
the is
now what's not those two things.
Well, you don't have to be kool or it
doesn't have to be kool in a revealed
way.
Yeah, you could be a balik and also cool
doing what is need. Okay, but you know
it's it's like
there's one step removed. You know,
business itself is not. Okay. The
business is the means to be able to get
it to give to to to the me that there's
actually
or is to give you so you should be able
to have two days a week off whatever but
the is not the
per se
but um
here you have the opportunity
that I can be in other words I don't
want to use the word say obviously in
that in you know anything more than the
very narrow sense that I'm saying it is
in other words that the things I'm doing
are kami should be k
is doing it that understanding
and that means living
the kind of life that
you know the kids sung okay rabbi I know
when they're looking at me it's you that
they
That's what is
and you're representing the
the awesomeness
in the frightful sense of the word is
overwhelming on the one hand and on the
other and the responsibility that
carries with it. But the quote is that
our description of being
acting living that way.
>> Okay.
Does it come with
hardships when yeah there may be some
kind of hardships but you know what
this is called
but
they're for
>> okay so
>> having said that
>> I don't want anybody to be left with the
impression that that's what is hardships
on the contrary
I could say I think
the
you know we've reached a place where
there aren't the challenges and
difficulties okay but um
my worries are I've reached a stage
said
what does that mean other instead of
worrying about you can be worrying about
things so
I can worry about things. There are
plenty to worry there. Okay. But can
focus on that because there isn't a
worry that is
>> you're saying this is not a mitzvah but
>> it's not a mitzvah and and it's not
talking about we're not talking about
being able to take you know a couple of
months a year off and in St.
I'm saying it shouldn't be that
you know this is
>> no no no no today it's uh
one thing that has changed dramatically
I think is of course the the um
general gosh mystic
mats of of today is not there I know
there are many that are struggle in
preachist, you know, in terms of paying
the mortgage and and things that it but
it's it's not it's not a standard. Once
upon a time was a standard, you know, it
was like that that oh thank god it's
it's a holiday so the bank is closed.
You don't hear that as much. Um it's p
that's I guess after was whoever it was
that you know is holding that handle you
know to keep from the flow of need to be
turning into gashm the way it's supposed
to be whoever is holding the handle
can't hold it that hard because the is
there and it
makes sure it's turned the other way
to get even more than we deserve
alak father.
>> Okay. So, let's go back to the story a
little bit. So, you um were in Ambers,
but you're also in Springfield in
Portland.
>> Yeah, our children went to school in
Springfield. So, that was we obviously
commuted.
>> How far is it?
>> About 45 minutes. 45. So at the point
you're living in Springfield,
>> then what happened was
at one point
um my wife was also teaching and then
became assistant principal of of the
school in Springfield. So it just made
more sense for me to commute, you know,
than for my wife and my wife and
children to commute was it. So we moved
to Springfield and I would go every day
to Ammerst and every shop
would go to Emerson
moving for
things of that sort.
It was also at one point that um
there was a teacher strike in
Springfield.
So I came up with the idea of pushing
kids into the uh
into the yeshiva because know we were
able to get quite a few kids into the
day school
and once the strike was over we
unfortunately went back to public school
but we had a connection to them. So he
said that's like a pre Hebrew school and
we did and so I made the Hebrew school
there and it was it was very successful
>> no
and um it was
so successful
the in the
conservative temple tells me a story
that one of the women there came over to
him and I was telling him my children
they love Hebrew school. Oh, they
finally it was so good. I love Hebrew
school. So I said okay look you're
sending them to no but here the temple's
school people understood you know that
if it's a good it's a good Hebrew school
that means we're talking about the
>> So you're the first one that started and
it's that standard today.
Um, so how do you end up so how was what
was the move to Stanford? How that
>> Oh, that's how it went because we just
>> to Stanford.
>> We're all Oh, to Stanford. I'm sorry.
Um actually one of the that I brought to
um um
to Ammerst
after two years and you know it was to
expand it or you know he wanted to place
himself in the subject came up to open a
move in Harford
and
the question came So I built up said
that you know I should kinetic is my
responsibility.
>> You knew that kinetic was your
responsibility.
>> What happened was
I kn I learned it was my responsibility
actually because I would get telephone
calls from time to time of situations
that are in
Connecticut to see to take care of.
And then when the question came up of
moving to Harford
so
whatever says so it's my responsibility
obviously he did in his today
a very very successful was
that he himself has brought the he
himself has centers himself has opened
it's
I I am not his boss. He he I'm his
colleague. Okay. But in any case, at one
point um I got a telephone call from and
this was like about a situation in
Stamford and I should see to take care
of it and this was a
biggie and I have to deal with rabbi.
So I asked um the reb to we should open
maybe a kabad house in Stanford which
was the only city at the time in big
city that had no center. Well actually
in in Harford of course was the yeshiva
there
was there
in Stanford was nothing never had been
anything of so I asked the
so I called
I asked
so he said to call me back in a couple
of days I don't remember what it was or
I made up and come to him in a couple of
days. Yeah, of course I remember his
office
and I came in and he read me from it
about several things
but and then he said and in terms of
whether you what what needs to be done
there and what the whether or not you
should go or you should that's what I
said the question was should I open a
kapad center or should I bring somebody
else to open kabad center I
I should go and bring somebody else to
the hammers or I should please
understand
the temple. So
he said that question we are leaving up
to you.
It wouldn't give me the title. I just
you know
so I understood that
the way I read it was that
I should because
but there was going to tell me to move
to Stanford.
I should tell to tell me to move from
one place to another that you know will
leave to you but is for Stanford is for
yours and you you make the decision I
understanding I understood it is I
should move to Stanford and to bring
other another to take their places I
know I know of other stories of other
similar things that they were in one
place but they have a big jurisdiction
so then they started they were a few
years working in this place few years
working I don't know if it's is moving
but like you're being piled in different
parts of their jurisdiction. This is
something that people have also
>> um
that's
>> he was it was very much quote it's
coming you know not a word about the
said you know was like the closest I got
ofb was we are leaving okay
I'm sure there was that wasn't referring
to and then but then you wrote to the a
decision that you want to move to
Stanford
And an interesting thing is when I wrote
this and then I said to check with also
to make sure
the actually when I went to the he
didn't understand you like of course not
why should I learn school is something
that was like we're sending but make
sure that is not
>> so
it's not it's right next to west which
Were they even there yet? Nothing was
there. But yeah, sufficient.
>> New York. New York.
>> Yes. Yes.
>> There was no in the time.
>> Yeah.
>> Um
so
>> yeah.
>> So you move there.
And
you know it's an interesting thing
talking about
the the
river.
So during this period when we were
moving until we got a place in
it
that I
was listening on a tape because I didn't
I wasn't there and I was listening it on
tape on the way from Stanford to to
Springfield.
The Reb was talking about one of the
things Reb said as you know
talking about
so
you're talking about pearls we're
talking about
not pearl barley but pearls on a
necklace that's definition of a pearl so
and that was like and I felt it like a
Here we're going
in in in a really big way.
>> What do you mean?
>> We should start thinking of different
kinds of us.
>> Oh, you say here in Stanford, we're
going to start doing it,
>> you know, much bigger.
>> That's not going to What happened?
>> It had to happen. What we paid for our
house in Stamford was three times how
much we paid for the Kabad house in
Ammerst. Three times as much. I I was
like, you know, for what we paid for the
in Ammeris, which at the time I thought
was hard to get a garage here in
Stanford
and but uh
it was actually
and I saw like had to get a mortgage,
right? When we bought our house, you had
to get a mortgage from where we had our
house in Springfield were able to for a
down payment, but that was a down
payment. I didn't get a mortgage from I
I was at that time it was hard for me to
get a credit card you know with my
stellar rating and um somebody told me
that there's a bank that has a Jew
present is a Jewish guy and it's owned
by a Jew
go in there might be well you know maybe
he'll this after two places mortgage bro
you know I don't think this is what
we're looking for anyway so I walk into
the back This was during the time of for
the elections in Israel.
>> Yeah.
>> And it was on the newspapers.
>> They're at the top of the government.
So, um I come into the bank and I want
to meet with the president.
I start telling him what we want to do.
Oh, the lunch. I see you guys on
television all the time. I Yeah, I see
the rabbi on television all the No
problem. You know what? Don't even
bother with the applications as soon as
you have what you need. Okay. In terms
of the from from the the
just come in here, okay, I'll take care
of it. And on my signature, he gave me a
when it came to building our building.
And they were not talking about a quart
of a million dollars. We're talking
about $3.5 million
on my signature.
>> Same guy.
>> Same guy on my signature.
That was like a you know
thing.
>> Clear ultimately he sold the bank but it
was like you know
for anybody listening to this wants to
know the name of the bank. Sorry it's
it's already been sold and the bank that
was sold has already been sold. So it's
it's gone
but but haven't left. They keep coming.
>> Um
and I know also when you were in
Stanford
you're physically closer proximity to
New York. I know you brought people.
>> Absolutely. I I know I met I meet people
here that tell me that they regret they
didn't listen and go with you and that
they had the opportunity they didn't but
there are many people that did there are
there are and and came along with it and
um it's so close unfortunately well
whatever sometimes I feel guilty how
close it is you know it was
the closest amorous the closest I was
feeling close was that what
I could get there in time from
and if it was a very long break and
there was sometimes to the end of it but
that that's the most I would have from
all of them that I would have from
um and even that I felt guilty like but
you know it was always
obviously coming for Shabas was a
possibility nothing
that wasn't as easy when you're further
away.
So the week
and over the years were there that you
got
the
you like how did it work there was like
do you ask like major questions you how
was the what was the say there when
you're trying to figure out what to do?
Yeah, generally major questions, you
know, should we buy a new building?
Should we bring another should we go to
the and
lesser issues
would be to
what in my mind is lesser not lesser on
the other hand
right at the very beginning
it wasn't long after we moved to Ammerst
and
was insistent I write a
not of days but of hours
what not what I'm doing this day or this
week but
certainly at the beginning
um I I was careful about it but later it
became an issue of but u but
so and then one of our children was not
well and had to be in the hospital some
kind of
respiratory infection it's nothing uh
but pencil couldn't be alone in the
hospital. We had a baby at home. So, it
would mean that I had to be in the
hospital or at home and it was going to
be, you know, the D wasn't going to be
talking about the next week's D is going
to have, you know, big blank spaces
there. So, I wanted to call up to
explain the blanket spaces before they
happen. So, I called him
and I told him with
So, then there's quiet
Then says
it's definite that it's
the reason that your child is not well
or became unwell and has to be in the
hospital so that you should have pain
and anguish. that that that's not the
reason. The only reason could be why it
is is because you have a in the
hospital.
So go find didn't do it.
that was a officially from but you know
the pause gave me on the phone
as far as I'm concerned it came from
there directly and it was a stuff that
doesn't happen bad
so things should be bad the only reason
stuff happens that looks bad because
your is in a place that otherwise you
wouldn't be because other than this but
you're there for this not so that it
should be bad.
>> Is this something that you thought about
later on when there were other
hardships?
>> Constantly. Constantly.
And not even just of the hospital kind
which unfortunately there were so many
of those kind. But um
when our was not well
in the hospital was in Stone Kendrick
six or something
and
for some reason my wife mentioned that
she was going to call Aba going to call
Aba to get a from before procedure or
something.
looks at he says
I'm not the only one that needs a from
the all of the other children on the
floor get their names and ask for from
them as well
I don't think he was six yet maybe he
was already six okay but you know
I'm not here to everybody here needs a
not just
need not also for us that was
and but it's that do I say that that's
what pops into my mind the first thing
when a challenge arises
I wish it was but when I start this oh
why is God picking on me
about, you know, whatever it is that's
happening. I realize that's not exactly
what you heard. What you heard is why
did God pick you? Okay.
In other words, he picked you because
it's your
now. Go do it.
Go find it and do it. Obviously, it's
not is necessarily obvious.
Okay,
I think uh with that note, we have what
to work with.
>> Well, I hope that you have with what to
also relax with because I'm not meant
nothing I said was meant to make anybody
feel guilty. It was meant to make people
feel how good that they are and how much
better they can all of us can be. Okay.
You know, I actually have one question
before we finish.
So, you're talking about
right through over 50 years.
How do you perceive
>> still over 50 years?
I mean not many people
have experienced the whole I mean that's
not the
youths
but you're seeing it you know from from
a like a when you look at it when you
look at it from like a helicopter view
over the last few years how have you
seen the you know the progression or
where it's going like what's your take
on on on the whole
and the rebas
And's work.
Um some years ago, our gun was picked
together with another 11 from the entire
country, a cohort that there was a
organization put in resources into all
of these Ghanaian
nurseries,
preschools in the hope that they would
become centers of excellence. for others
to emulate as well as to act as a
springboard
that would bring more families into the
Jewish community as a whole. Recognizing
that after college,
the next place you can
more easily reach young people, young
Jews, is when they start having children
and they need places to.
And we were one of those that would pay
to
at the beginning I heard this was a
know$10 a $10 million initiative and
thank god it was originally so I fig
million dollars there's wasn't to give
up money there's there was a couple of
subsidies for particular programs but
mainly resources they would bring people
in and there was one woman that oversaw
our
she would come and meet with the whole
staff
And because the gun was so integrated
with is so integrated with Kabad as a
whole with the whole Kabad staff just
she was very much into
how an organization should work well and
it she did incredible work both us in
general.
After she would come for two days each
month and after two days she would meet
with me to go over what had happened.
After it was two years I think after the
end of the two years she this was the
last time coming. I said to her Diana
maybe you want to come to the with us
and she said sure. She then she had
connections but not you know nothing
but but she jumped like yes of course
and so we got to the car with my wife
and I went to the we had in a
conversation now it's pure we're not
talking about anything
so she says to me you know do you know
what the problem with is
we don't have problems
the problem with kabad is
you're telling your kids the wrong
stories. I'm thinking what you know with
the wrong stories. What are you talking
stories of our babies?
You're telling your kids stories of
conquest of taking over of
which is absolutely necessary when you
start because you wanted to take over
the whole world. You've taken over the
whole world.
There's not a place in the world where
you aren't. You've taken over the whole
world. There's not a significant
challenge that you haven't faced and not
overcome.
Now you need to start digging deeper.
You don't need to tell sto you need to
tell stories about going deeper, not
going broader, about going higher,
deeper. Now's the time to to motivate
the next generation into
changing people, bringing people closer,
bring, you know, it's like you've done
the quantity, now is the time for the
quality,
which I thought was an incredible
insight.
And to to come back to your question,
yes, this this is where we've changed
the
going out on
the the first the pioneers, the the
going into a world that didn't want them
and had to change that world.
They changed it. It is not. This is no
longer the world that doesn't want us.
This is the world that is explicitly
being
come. We need you. We must have you.
It's a whole different kind of going.
Okay.
are as it were metaphorically welcomed
with open arms
and
I feel that what has to happen and it's
beginning to happen is the needs to
understand now we need to go deeper and
we need to create things
that whose quality is is me measured by
their quality quality not by the
quantity or not only by the quantity.
So instead of to be the that has the
school with 200 kids or 500 kids or 50
and so
it's the that is reached and changed ped
changed 10 people 15 people 20 families
transformed them
there should be a I don't think is
capable
of truly having a pimistic
has the time for having a pimistic
with more than 20 families
50 families
100 families more than that that's not
it's not realistic and there needs to be
a for every 100 families
that's what now I want I want a state I
want a country okay the content is
spoken for but It's it it needs to be I
I want to make
I need to make there are so many people
that are not even considering themselves
Eden. I need to make them Eden
and we need to tell those stories.
It's it's people are in intuitively
picking that up already. I'm
America with what I just said. But we we
need to focus on it.
>> I think at the core that's what the Reb
spoke about when he started.
>> Of course,
it's not about it was never about
numbers.
>> Never. Never.
>> That was a success of it.
>> Of course. Of course. Okay. But we need
to realize that that that's the message
that needs to to resonate
as the
that is what is we were thinking of as
we were thinking of who we're going to
be dealing with
that's you know which is what it had to
be because that's what had to happen
first
just to go with the numbers we had to
build the structure okay within which it
could have the structure is built
Now we need to focus on that on on when
the Reb said
and say
between
is never
less than two weeks or more than two
whatever it's two weeks
never three weeks
Okay. And yet uh
when we think about it, okay, we're
going to make a bigger party this year.
Okay. Bigger. There was of course a
bigger party this year and of course
sending out more this year and of course
but that's not what the Reb said. What
the said is everyone that's what the is
looking for and if he's told it to us
because we can wasn't speak
every single that's in every single to
okay thank you very much you're very
very welcome
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