Transcript
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Good evening everybody and hello. Thank
you for having me.
>> We We're all The mic has to be closer to
me, right? I'm going to hold it. Is that
okay? Can I hold it? Yeah.
>> We're We're all members of the Kabad
family. Hello everybody. Hello. Hello.
Hello. Hello. We're all members of the
Kabad family.
Kabad obviously means an enormous amount
to each of us, to all of us.
And at the heart of Kabad is the
And um sometimes it's difficult to
fathom
the degree of his influence
and
the degree to which he is the source of
the little details of every little
detail
of how Kabad lives and is and breathes.
But there's another very important
factor which is particularly
poignant
today
and that is how personal it is.
I mean Rabi Sabo and I are old people at
this point and Rab Risky and Ra Levid,
our children are the next generation.
Our children either knew the Reb as
little children or didn't know the at
all.
And explain it how you wish. Don't
explain it at all. Their relationship
with the Reb is not just meaningful and
deep, but also very personal.
Personally, it's individual. Him and me
and nobody else. Our relationship with
the Reb is very personal.
It's hard to understand unless you
experienced it. It's really hard to
understand unless you experienced it.
Everybody talks about the leadership
that his great leadership
is vision is intelligence that have
creativity thinking outside the box
going and nobody else went.
But there there are other dimensions to
the drea
and one of them is
he was an exceedingly exceedingly holy
man
in his personal life.
He was completely removed from anything
material. The way he lived his life the
man didn't eat, he fasted, he didn't
sleep. His personal life was extremely
extremely holy, extraordinarily holy.
And he was, as this video so incredibly
well
demonstrated.
He was so deeply connected to us. He
wasn't a cosmic man who saw us as the
cosmos. He was a father. His
relationship with each of us was
extremely personal, extremely
individual. And we knew it. We knew it.
Not just he knew it. We we felt we felt
we feel a very personal love from the
deb. I'm going to tell you something
hysterical. Okay, I really don't care if
you believe me, but this actually
happened in the last two weeks. Okay,
I'm doing some work in my home and it
had a bit of a difference with my
neighbor. Okay.
The Reba came to my contractor in a
dream
to tell him that my neighbor was right.
True story.
Anyway, that contractor calls me. He
says, "The ever told me to tell you my
neighbor is right." So, of course, I
said, "Okay." A week later, the never
came again. Didn't say a word. Just let
him know that he was happy that he took
his advice. This just happened. 2026.
It's a current story. I don't know if I
should tell the story, but I just I
can't get over how fortunate I feel. He
didn't come to me. He went to somebody
else. It's always that way with me.
I don't know your relationship with
that. I really don't. And and I I I hope
and I wish that this is not just respect
for a great man, reverence for a great
man, appreciation for a great man, but a
relationship because the Reb is a sadic,
a very big sadic, an incredibly big
sadic. Just a little story, a little
just a a small little story, a story
about small. The previous whose name I
carry, his name was Yafitzk. He was born
in 1880
and he passed away in 1950.
He was about six or seven.
His father was named Raz was already
then the leader of Kabad because his
father the fourth Kabad passed away very
young and he was probably 25 was a very
young man. He became at a very early age
and he had one child. He had an only
child, his only son who would become his
successor. And his little son was in
shul. Everybody had home to eat shabas
lunch. And his father was alone in shaw
and he was praying. And he got to the
schma and he started to cry.
So it bothered him. Why is my father
crying? So he went to his mother and he
said to his mother, "Mama, daddy is
sitting in Shaw. There's nobody else in
Schul. Everybody has gone home." and
he's crying. Why is daddy crying?
So his mother said gay frag fetal. Go
ask your uncle Zman. Zman was the the
older brother of the fifth reb. So he
went to his uncle Zman as uncle Salman
said cuz when your father went to school
he didn't pick up the Hebrew well. He
can't read. So when he prays and he
stumbles on the words he cries out of
frustration because he can't read the
Hebrew. Now the previous knew that that
wasn't the truth. that there had to be a
better reason why his father was crying.
So he ran back to his mother and says
fat Alman's uncle Alman says that
daddy's crying because he can't read
Hebrew and she says gay to the bab
go ask your grandmother go ask your
grandmother who was the wife of the
forbe
so she went to his her baba his baba
and he said this
my father was sitting in crying why is
he crying
So the said to her grandson
past 50 cries it doesn't mean anything
anymore.
He says because your father
is not like most fathers.
Your father is a sadic. He's a holy man.
He was 25. He's very young. And when he
prays,
he really connects to God. So there's
emotion. There's tears.
The deb is a very big sadic.
You know, big sadikim are far removed
and the bigger they are, the further
removed.
But there's an there's an incredible
irony
that the further away they are, the
lower is the bottom of their ark, the
greater is the reach of the bottom of
their sphere.
And there's nobody like that.
There's nobody like that in terms of how
holy he was and how he related and he
connected and he loved and he consume he
cried as this individual tells the story
for everybody
for everybody. The reb was so busy. My
uncle was one of his secretaries. He
received listen to this 400 letters a
day
and he opened and read everyone himself.
The secretaries didn't read his mail.
They sent out the answers if and when
there were answers. He opened up every
piece of mail himself. How does he have
time for anything else? And he had many
other things to do.
And when we get together on this day and
we commemorate this event, this yard
site,
it's it's the first thing. This is very
personal. This isn't a holy man. This is
somebody who's very close to us. I feel
extremely close to him. My children, my
children and now my grandchildren feel
in a very real way attached to him and
close to him. It's not because we're
special because he's special. His reach
extends beyond any kind of limitations
including the limitation of the fact
that we're not able to see him
physically. And I uh I bless each of us,
all of us, each of you, each of us,
that uh not just today, but always, but
maybe this could be the trigger to
consider the idea
as people who are involved in the family
of Kabad
that part of our relationship with the
Reb is a personal one. It's not only a
religious one. It's not only a
collective and a communal one. It's me
and him. I write to him, he answers me.
He doesn't answer me. I take the letters
to the oil to the cemetery. I leave them
there. This is sadikim. These are holy
people. Holy people have different
rules.
And uh we don't understand.
But it we don't only believe. We don't
only believe. We see, we feel, we
experience. We celebrate.
And
this is ours. This this is good for us.
It'll it'll make us better. It'll make
us closer to him and make us closer to
and make us a lot closer to our to our
to our best self to the person that we
can be and that we must be and that we
should be.
I was talking about the is mail.
The open 400 pieces of mail a day. It's
a lot of mail. Takes a lot of time. So
somebody who worked with the Reb bought
the Reb, this is the 1970s. this 50
years ago. He bought the Rebe an
electronic mail envelope opener. It was
a machine. You fed the envelop and it
was easy to take out. So he brought it
into the secretariat to of the Reb. And
he says, "I bought this machine for the
Reba that uh said it can save a little
time. Rabbi Ger, the Reb secretary who
knew the Reb well said, you know, the
Reb is not going to use that." He says,
"Listen, I bought it and I paid for it.
Offer it to him." He offered it to the
Reba and of course there was never an
answer. The deba didn't say thank you or
no thank you and that was the end of the
story. So he waited a bit then he came
back to the secret. Well what happened?
Says the said it makes too much noise.
So he went and spent over $1,000 then to
buy a a envelope opener with a muffler,
a silent envelope opener. And he was a
young fellow with not a lot of money. I
know him. He told me the story and it
was a huge uh exertion financially for
him. He just wanted to make the deb a
little bit easier and he brought it into
brought it into 770 and he came to Rab
okay this one is silent and Rab says
zman you know the is not going to use it
he says what do you got to lose I bought
it and I paid for deliver it anyway
nothing happened there was no response
he didn't he waited a bit he came to
Rabbi Grooner and says well he said the
deb doesn't want to use it
why not listen to this the said to him
as follows when people send me letters
They seal the envelope.
There are those who seal their letter
with a little bit of water. There are
those who seal their letter a little bit
of saliva.
And there are those who seal their
envelope with a tear
and the machine doesn't pick that up. I
I have to open the mail myself.
I I don't need to tell you
that we're living in a modern age.
Part of the reality of our modern age
>> isn't only the modernity itself. The
evolution of technology in the last 120
years or whatever date you want to begin
with is incredible.
But part of the evolution of technology
is the rapidity is the speed at which
it's happening. Technology is changing
so fast you simply do not have an
opportunity to acclimate to one
condition in technology
before the new one is here. So it's the
machines are moving faster than us far
much faster than we can. You know,
remember the record player? Remember the
record player? Once upon a time record
players, people used record players for
a hundred years. After a while, you got
used to the record player, you know, and
then there was a radio and then there
was a television. These fellows, they
lasted each one of them came along at a
certain time. And you had 20, 30, 40, 50
years to get used to the machines.
And um at some point we it became our
new reality.
Today technology changes. No, I'm really
I'm fine. I'm I'm
>> okay. I appreciate it. I appreciate I'll
tell your brother and he's going to say,
"Who cares?
I'm just saying that you should know
that I know your brother."
Today the technology moves so rapidly.
The consequence of this is literally
we're all off balance as human beings
to keep up with the machines that are
such a part of our daily life. We don't
have a chance to integrate
the realities that we deal with. And uh
those of us who are adults may have
forgotten
how much more acute
and uh
and difficult it is for kids. Children
are young. Children don't have
experience. Children don't have a
barometer. They don't have a measure of
what's normal and what's crazy. their
measure of what's normal and crazy are
their experiences. And when they're
living with these kinds of changes, they
think that constant change is life and
it's not. And it makes it makes living
very difficult.
And one of the
one of the uh prices
that we pay
for all this
uh noise, for all this upheaval in our
lives
is is our definition of normal. Really,
our definition of normal is it doesn't
exist really. As human beings on a
psychological level, we don't get a
chance to be normal because there's
always something else that's taking away
our normal. And ideally, in a perfect
world or a perfect person, we have the
right filters. We have the right
um
self-control or self-management
to establish our own normal.
And as I tell my students all the time,
if your machine is not a slave to you,
you're a m a slave to your machine. Um
to manage our lives in the kind of way
that it doesn't steal our normal. It
doesn't steal our calm. It doesn't steal
our inner peace. It doesn't steal the
certainty of our self-identity.
And what what I'm describing is is
extremely serious and I I know it and
I'm sure everybody in this room
appreciates just how incredibly
difficult it is to just to know who you
are minus the machines to know the you
that doesn't change from the moment you
were born until the last minute of your
life, your long healthy, successful,
blessed, happy life. Um,
but we we must do that if we're going to
be human beings.
The Reb was born before the first world
war. The Reb lived through the two world
wars and he became the shepherd of the
Jewish people. He became the Reba of
Loavich and in to a very great extent
the Reba of the whole Jewish world right
after the Holocaust.
There are so many ways there are so many
things that you can identify the rebab.
But one of the things
that is extremely sensitive and profound
and beautiful
is the Reb represents normal.
The Reb was an extremely normal man.
It's it's funny. Uh but there's nothing
funny about it. The Reb was such a
genius, such an incredible mind. He was
so extremely busy. He valued every
microscond
and he was never in a rush. He was never
in a rush. He he was extremely normal
and he commun he gave I believe you
could say he gave normal to people. He
gave normal meeting that ebbe was an
extremely powerful experience. It was a
bit overwhelming. It was very
intimidating
but he gave you a normal. He gave you a
normal. There's a woman who still lives
in Morocco in Tunisia, pardon me, in
Tunis in North Africa. Not a fun place
to live. She's a from decades ago. Her
name is Mrs. Pinson. Her husband has now
passed away and she lives on. I think
she's still alive.
>> Ah, she's passed away. Pardon me. Um, I
met her. She came to one of my classes.
Interesting lady. She Tunisia is a
dangerous country. There are not many
Arab countries that Jews live in
significant numbers. Morocco has Jews.
Indonesia has Jews. And um there was a
there was a lot of fear. A lot of people
left. There was a lot of fear, a lot of
intimidation. There was a lot of
government sanctioned killings.
Actually, she she was visiting the Reba
and she was in the Reb's room and she
says to the Reb, you know, I live in
Tunis. very happy to live in Tunisia as
your representative. But in this room, I
feel so peaceful. In this room, I feel
so calm. I feel so
at peace with everything with myself.
I want to take that back with me to
Tunisia. I want to take that along with
me that where I go in the tumultuous
world out there, I should carry this
peace with me. And the deba in typical
deba fashion said to her why for you for
everybody.
And that was the end of that. She says
for years women would say to her m
how come when we're around you we are so
calm and she would say in good tradition
said
what you're feeling is the blessing that
gave me for inner peace and it's real. A
woman that I knew said to me, you waited
outside the door to meet the Reb in
person. You waited outside the door to
go into the Reb and meet with him. It
was called private meetings. The Reba
met thousands of people for 25 years on
a very consistent basis. And then for a
few more years, a little bit last at
some point because of physical reasons,
the Reb discontinued these private
meetings. And she says, "You're standing
outside the Reb's door and you're a
nervous wreck. You're so apprehensive.
you're so you feel so unworthy. She said
to me, a woman that I knew said to me, I
I'm saying to myself, I'm going to walk
into the deb. I'm not going to hear a
word he says and I'm certainly not going
to remember anything. She was so
apprehensive. She was hyperventilating.
She was so emotional. She says, you step
across the threshold of the door and
then you're at peace. You walk into the
actual room where the Rebe is sitting at
his desk with this fedora creating the
little shadow of the top of his face
that he's so famous for. and and you
feel peace and all a sudden you're
clear. You're lucid. You're completely
present. The Reba had that effect on
people. He gave them inner peace. He
gave them a normal which in our times is
something we we I I wish we still dream
about. We wish for. And it's it's an
incredible gift that the Reban gives.
And it's not only the spirituality of
it. It's it's the awareness of a normal.
The awareness that there is a normal and
that I want a normal. My home is a
normal place. My relationships are
normal. My relationship with my husband,
my relationship with my wife, my
relationship, my children is consistent
and stable and normal. The world makes
this difficult today.
All because we have such good toys. It's
so interesting. Machines are supposed to
help us, but machines are making it
very, very hard for us to be helped
because there's just so many of them.
Which leads to another point that I want
to share with you.
The Reb gave us God.
The Reb gave us God. Gives us God. Now,
nobody gives anybody God. God is the
creator of everything.
And uh we're all here because of God.
What I mean when I say the Reba gave us
God, the Reb gave us the the God
priority
to the Reb who was one of the smartest
people in the world. God was so simple.
God was so certain.
He was so smart that he wasn't unsure.
You understand? He wasn't so smart that
he had doubt. Those are the people less
smart than he was. He was even smarter
than those people. And he was so certain
about God that it was simple. And he
gave that simple to each one of us that
Rebe was a Rebe he was a Rebe he was a
he was a shepherd. He was a father. He
was a he was a an intimate of so many of
us. He was also a great scholar. He was
a great scholar. And the Reb would talk
for hours. If you've ever followed the
the fabang would go on for eight hours
sometimes, maybe longer in the earlier
years cut them shorter because of his
age and because of his health. But the
rang for hours and in one fabang would
go from topic to topic to topic and some
of his topics were extremely scholarly.
And then there were topics they were
extremely human
and the scholarly stuff he did quick
relatively speaking. the human stuff. He
would repeat and repeat and repeat and
repeat because he wasn't giving
information.
He was touching hearts. He was touching
hearts. And whenever talked, he talked
in the kind of way that he was branding
it into your soul. He wasn't telling
you, he was giving you. And and had
expressions that he would repeat
constantly, just say them again and
again and again and again. And he was
repeating them not because we didn't
know them. He was repeating them because
he wanted to personalize them for us, to
us, in us. And one of those expressions
was
Hebrew
means the creator of the world and its
governor. God Almighty is the creator
and the governor. What do they say? I
don't know what the statistics are
today, but Americans, most Americans
believe in God. So,
you have to have a relationship with
God.
Knowing that there's a God, believing in
God is academic. It's intellectual. It's
scholarly.
Having a relationship with God,
I'm not going to call that religious.
I'm going to call that normal. I'm going
to call that peaceful.
I'm going to call that wholesome.
And the Reba gave us God in a very
intimate and a very real way. He wanted
Hashem, God Almighty, to be real for us
like I'm talking to you. We talk to God.
An intimate the personal relationship
with Hashem. I I you know, I've been
around, what can I tell you? I mean, I'm
not around a lot of other people, but
I've been around and I met all kinds of
people. And I know so many people
who because of their mind, because of
their brain,
have a barrier between themselves and
God.
Many people just can't get past the
problems, the questions, the
difficulties, the uncertainties.
And
maybe the questions have answers. Maybe
the questions don't have answers. This I
can guarantee you. There's always going
to be more questions. There's always
going there's never going to be an end
to questions. It's the nature of
learning. Any person who's a serious
learner knows that part of learning is
leaving questions unanswered. When
you're 16, you can't do that. But when
you're 60, you can. And even when you're
40,
you don't have to. You can sleep. You
can sleep because when you can answer
this question, it's not like when you
answer the question, the world is
perfect. It's ne we're never going to
know everything. It's impossible.
There's always going to be questions.
You put the questions down and you talk
to the creator of the world like a son
speaks to his father. The Reb gave us
that God that makes it all so normal. It
makes it all so peaceful. Joseph Tushkin
in his book
has a story and every one of his stories
is sourced. So you can look it up. uh
where did they ever met a man who was
secular very smart guy in the in a
private meeting academic of some type I
don't know mathematician a physicist but
a really really smart guy
and he spoke to the rebba and when you
talked to the rebba you were overwhelmed
by his knowledge overwhelmed by his
knowledge but was so interesting about
the reb was if you didn't know something
you didn't even know that he knew it you
only knew of the rebba
>> what the rebba knew of you he had that
magical ical ability to show you the
piece of himself which was your mirror.
You never felt talked down to. It's
incredible. But the the the smart guys,
the really intelligent people would meet
a man who was their match and more in
every field and they'd be overwhelmed by
this man's intellect. You know the day
before the deba became aba the day
before that took the job he was sitting
with a friend of his an academic and he
says to this fellow you know what's
going to happen tomorrow
I'm going to take a job as an ever and
you and I will never be able to talk
again
cuz I'm not going to have the time so he
says to ever don't do it don't do it
what do you need it for you're a scholar
you can BEAT THE SMARTEST PEOPLE in the
world you waste your time with bubbis
But that's what it is. That's the job.
That's the job. So this man says to
Rabbi, "How could anybody be as
intelligent as you and believe in God
the way you do?"
How could anybody
be as smart as you are, know as much as
you are, and have so no difficulty with
creator
and not just the creator, the master of
the world, the governor of the world,
the intimate in our lives. And the Reba
told him a wonderful thing.
It's a different skill set.
It's a different skill set. One of the
great mistakes that the modern world has
made is to assume
that faith is the end of knowledge.
That faith comes from research. That
faith comes from discovery. That faith
comes from our mind. Now, you got to use
your mind. If you don't use your mind,
you're not a human being.
But you have to be smart enough to know
that not everything you have to
understand.
Faith comes from the noma.
Faith comes from the soul. Faith comes
from a very very different place than
the whole machine that questions and the
doubts and that probes and that
challenges and that searches. It's a
very important part of us. It's a very
important part of us. The mind is
exceedingly important.
But then a sharma
that's a part of our normal
that's a part of our peace
and that's a part of our God
and this is the God that ever wanted to
give us in this incredibly chaotic world
that spoke to children little kids you
can watch the films talking to the kids
or if he's talking to the biggest and
the kids are literally playing some of
them are doodling supposedly writing
what he's saying others are simply
bored some one or two are trying to
listen and the rebas talked him like a
reb
from the mountain top that's how he
always was the never that in public came
down from that place of distance and he
would say to the children over and over
and over again
the creator of the world and its master
and its governor he was branding into
the hearts and the souls of little
children the reality of God The reality
of God, not the question and the answer,
the reality, faith, amuna. It's so
important. It's not only important
religiously,
it's human. It's important
psychologically. You know, one of the
weird things about the crazy world which
we live today that I think now, of
course, you welcome to disagree. That's
what we're all about, but it's never
made more sense to be religious than
right now because the world's gone nuts.
I mean, completely spun out.
And
religion creat equilibrium. There's a
center. You know, things don't always
not everything changes all the time. And
at the base, at the heart, at the soul
of religion is our relationship with
God. And that gave God to the Jewish
people. And if I may say so,
he gave the Jewish people to God. That
gave God to the Jewish people. And he
gave the Jewish people to God. The deba
lived in very difficult times and but
there was he had technological advances
you know the lived in the post holocaust
world you must understand I was born in
my father was born in 1938 my father was
born in Moscow Russia he my father
remembers mortars hitting the house in
which he lived Nazi mortars cannons from
I don't know was 10 20 miles out of
Moscow that the Nazis were shooting
bombard they never took Moscow my father
remembers a bomb hitting the house in
which he lived and running off to
Siberia. My father's life, my father
Zangunt, he's living be well. It's not
been an easy life. It's a long life,
thank God, but it's been very
tumultuous.
Imagine a person of that generation
and
multiply that times thousands and
thousands and thousands of people who
came to the Reb one at a time and they
met the Reb in his room
and he found a way to heal them. He
found a way to their soul. He found a
way to give them permission
to believe. He found a way to give them
permission
not to survive
but to actually live. He had that
magical ability. There there are many
stories. I'm just going to mention one.
The had a very deep impact on Ellie
Visel. An incredibly personal and deep
impact on Ellie Visel. And he the and
him talked a lot. He was a very smart
guy. Elizel was a brilliant he was an
incredibly intelligent person obviously
extremely successful extremely important
in the greater world and the was a part
of his inner world and he said to the
once he had a debate with the rebba he
wouldn't get married he didn't want to
have children he felt that the coolest
thing any Jew could do is bring a Jewish
child into the world
and he believed it on principle and the
rebba said to him I'm sure gently but
firmly do you understand that you're
continuing Hitler's
And the Reb said, "You have to get
married and you have to have a normal
life." So he said to the Reb, "How how
can you allow how can you afford the
luxury of normal? That's what we went
through. H how is it justified? How is
it correct for me to allow myself to
live a normal life?" And the Reb said,
"Because that's how you defeat Hitler.
That's how we win.
And the Reba debated him and debated him
and debated him and he got married. He
listened to the Reb, he got married, had
a son by the Reb's in incredible
incredible encouragement. But one of the
wonderful little anecdotes that he tells
about his relationship with the Reb was
he argued with the Reb. How could the
look forward
from the beginning was one of the few
rabbis who looked forward everybody was
looking back. Everybody was looking
back. And when you look back, you can't
live. When you look back, you see
terror. The Reba lost a brother in the
Holocaust. The Reba lost many family
members. It wasn't that the Reb was
removed from the Holocaust, but the Reb
understood what the Jewish people
needed. He did not look back. He looked
only forward. And Alivel said to the
Reb, "How can you're not allowed? You're
not allowed to look forward." And the
Reb says, "You must." And they argued
and they argued and they argued. And at
one point in their conversations, he
said to the Reb, Delhi Visel said to the
Reb, I would like you to teach me to
cry.
And the Reb said to him,
I will teach you to sing.
He said to I wanted to teach me how to
cry, which for a survivor is not easy.
By the way, this fellow Gmidt who said I
wasn't much of a crybaby, you saw that
>> he was in the massacre in 1929.
His parents were murdered. He was a
2-year-old in the closet. So now you
understand why this man didn't cry. He
didn't have parents. And now you
understand how poignant that little
exchange that he had with the deb took
the place of his father and gave him
practical advice. and he starts to cry.
He says, "Reb, why do you love me so
much?" And the Reb says to him, "Because
you're my son." And this the Reb had
this relationship with so many, many,
many, many, many people.
And the Reba figured out how to dial our
number. that Eba figured out how to
reach people
who were very beautiful, very beautiful,
extremely beautiful, but very broken,
very hurt, very confused. And what's
odd, what's strange
is we're their grandchildren,
maybe even their great grandchildren,
but we're still confused.
It's still so hard to find normal in
this world of plenty. Really, there's
never been a richer country in the
history of mankind than the United
States of America. And frankly, there's
never been a kinder country in the
history of the world than the United
States of America. And maybe there
hasn't been a more confused country.
Now, how does that work? How does that
work? Because we got lost. We lost we
lost the eye. We lost ourselves.
And the Ebbe taught us if you want to
find your eye, you need to find God. You
need to find faith. You need to find
normal, you need to find peace. And the
Reb figured out how to dial our number.
And his approach was very simple. No
speeches. No speeches.
No speeches.
A good deed, a mitzvah, one at a time.
It's so simplistic on the surface
but so incredibly effective and so
unbelievably magical
and so unbelievably real.
You know there are many many Jews in the
world today who are Orthodox who were
not raised Orthodox or their parents not
raised Orthodox and by no means are they
all kabad. By no means they all kabad
but many of them will tell you you know
the first encounter I had with Judaism
was a boy on the sidewalk and fill it
or a girl on the on the boardwalk and
shabas candles a seed was planted. It
could take 10 years, 15 years, 20 years.
That seed germinates and it grows and it
becomes a living thing and it wakes up
the
didn't give people speeches. He never
told anybody they were no good. Never.
Never told anybody they were no good.
There's no point. There really isn't a
point. Is there any point in telling
somebody that they're bad? I'm asking
you a question. You are A BAD PERSON.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. WELL, I'll be sure
not to disappoint you. Right.
In general, there's it's not a good idea
to tell people things that they already
know, especially if they're not
positive. And most of us pretty much
know that we don't like ourselves
already. We don't need anybody else's
help in that department. But the Reb
made it so that what you did a minute
before and what you did a minute after
didn't matter in this minute.
In this minute, I could be a yeid. I can
connect to Hashem. I can have one moment
of normal, one moment of faith, one
moment of God, one moment of peace, a
mitzvah.
And it takes a lot of years to look back
and see how wise that was. The whole
idea of not trying to change a person
completely, not trying to change a
person at all, just giving them an
opportunity.
And if they change, they change
themselves. an opportunity for a
mitzvah. Mitzvah are holy.
Mitzvah like the like a holy person have
God inside.
Believe it or not, every human being,
every Jew has God inside also and they
have a common language.
When a Jew does a mitzvah, there's
magic. Sometimes you feel it very
acutely, sometimes you don't feel it at
all. But when a Jew does a mitzvah,
there's a magic. And the Reb said to us,
just do a mitzvah. Don't worry about the
effect. Don't worry about the future.
Don't worry about the big picture. Do a
mitzvah. One mitzvah, another mitzvah,
another mitzvah. And the mitzvah, they
they multiply. They begat more mitzvah,
more mitzvah, more mitzvah. They give
people more normal, more God, more love,
more peace, more center.
and uh that I was very careful to tell
people that no mitzvah is not
holy
because you aren't.
Your mitzvah are not bad because you
think of yourself as a bad person. Your
mitzvah are not bad even if in fact
you're a bad person because there's good
in everybody and the mitzvah is good and
the mitzvah is good no matter what. I I
have a friend who told me a story and
told me don't ever repeat the story. So
I always repeat the story with the
disclosure that I'm not supposed to
repeat the story.
I heard the story secondhand. He heard
it from somebody else. A man came to see
the reba in the early 1970s
and he was homosexual. He was gay
and he wanted to go to yeshiva. He
wanted to study. He wanted to become
religious but he wasn't going to stop
being gay.
So we wanted to know if there's any
point is there any point of me going to
yeshiva and studying tada if if I have
you know from the perspective of Judaism
a gigantic scarlet letter but he didn't
want to go alone he wanted a witness so
he took along this other man who's the
source of the story as I heard it and he
accompanied this let's say it was 1972
it's a long time ago and they went into
the together this is this is you know
you want to be the answer that question
is there any point of me studying
yeshiva becoming religious I'm a
homosexual and that's not changing
that's how he felt at the time at least
I don't know the person I do not know
who the person is and said
a Jew must do as many mitzvah as he
absolutely can
do your best he didn't condone it he
didn't condemn it he said one has
nothing to do with the other you can do
a mitzvah if you can study study t you
can put on film, put on film. You have
an issue with some issues. Everybody got
issues with something.
And that was able to re to what's the
right word to unshackle us from our own
self-hate really from our own uh
attitude of if if I'm not a good Jew
that I'm a bad Jew. So many people feel
that way. You know, if I can't do it
right, why bother? And the redeemed us
from that burden. He didn't say it's
okay.
He said, "But the good is good. The good
is good." The good is good no matter
what. And he he gave us this ability to
be Jewish to the best of our
capabilities. And some of us become very
Jewish. I mean, more and more you grow
and you grow and you grow and you grow.
And it starts with fillin. It starts
because there was a holy rabbi who
believed in the sanctity of a mitzvah
who believed in the sanctity of the
Jewish soul and who believed that when a
holy mitzvah touches a holy Jewish soul
something happens something very real
happens. There's a rabbi who has I think
a brother living in California or youth
live in California. His name is Rabbi
Lapine. Rabbi Leine Rabbi Lapen I think
you call him here. He lives in South
Africa.
And um
he um he was a businessman was a
businessman
and he joined the shaw in South Africa.
South Africa is like like like like like
England. There's the United Synagogue.
Everybody belongs to the Shaw. If you
ever been to to these countries Friday
night, everybody goes to Shaw.
Afterwards, the family people go home
for Shabbat dinner and the boys and the
girls go to the club. But everybody goes
to Shaw first.
And it was he joined a schol a
congregation like that. There were many
many people and there was a rabbi who
made speeches and shook people's hands
and that was it. So he started to teach.
He saw it was he started giving classes
and he was good. He was very good. He
was so good that he began to dedicate
more and more of his hours to teaching
in this congregation. And he's running a
business and he's becoming more and more
harried. And at one point he decided to
close his business to liquidate his
business to live on what he has and
become a full-time teacher because he
saw the need. Anyway, he he wasn't a he
was a kabadnik but he knew that this is
the kind of question you need to answer
the so in the 1970s 50 years ago he flew
from South Africa to New York. He made
himself an appointment and he came in to
see the rebba and he tells the rebba you
know I am not a rabbi I'm a businessman.
I became a rabbi because there was an
opening and I took it and I began to
teach one or two people. Now I'm giving
many classes to so many people and I'm
contemplating closing my business and
becoming a rabbi, a teacher full-time.
What does the Reb think? And in typical
Reba fashion, you can almost hear the
Reb saying it. The Reba said in quotes,
more business, more Raonas,
more business, more more rabbi, more
teacher. So he says to the I'm very
flattered. I'm very flattered by your
opinion of me, but I'm falling apart.
So the Reb tells him wonderfully. The
Reb says to him, "The mistake you make
is because you envisionage
uh an act of ku. You envisage an act of
embracing a Jew and bringing giving them
a mitzvah, giving them a vata, giving
them a Jewish experience like a chemical
reaction.
chemical reactions. Every chemical is
stable, right? If chemicals weren't
stable, it would be even crazier than it
is, right? Chemicals are stable. When
you mix two chemicals, they go crazy.
Yeah. And then they become normal. Takes
a little while. They react. They
interface and they have a new normal.
And then they sit there till you mix
them again.
In your mind, says to him, meeting a Jew
and doing something Jewish is a chemical
reaction. So there is a moment of
energy. There's a moment of transition
and then there's a normal new stable new
normal. That says when a Jew touches a
Jew, it's not a chemical reaction. It's
a nuclear reaction
>> and it has ripples that go on and on.
The more time that passes, the more
effect it has.
So you do not appreciate the extent of
your influence, of your reach, of your
success, of your
I'm going to share two more thoughts and
then I'm going to we'll interrupt. We'll
go outside and we do whatever we have to
do.
Labavich is an old kididic movement. You
know that it's a very old kididic
movement. And if you would meet kabadnik
from 100 years ago, you would believe
that they're not only different than the
kabad of today that the antithesis
they're 180 degrees opposite the
kabadics of today in a thousand ways. I
can't even begin to tell you. And the
this the credit for that goes to the
previous rebba who came to this country
85 years ago 86 years ago and the rebba
who continued this revolution.
And one of the examples of that
was the place
how do I say this in English of ble in
in inic tradition a person is supposed
to be humble inidic tradition a person
is not supposed to be busy with himself.
Anyway, this is a story with the Re and
humility that I I think explains to you
his his unique approach. A boy was a
yeshiva. A boy, he was in his 20s. It
was yeshiva and this goes back to the
60s and the 50s. Brilliant, very smart.
So smart that he was head and shoulders
above his friends who were not slouches
either. He was very intelligent and he
studied the whole chass which is an
extraordinary achievement for a young
man. The problem was he knew it. He knew
how bright he was and he knew how
learned he was and he knew how superior
he was to his friends and he made the
terrible mistake of letting them know
that he knew it. Well, they let him know
that that's not good. And they didn't
let him know with kind words. They let
him know with very very what's the words
on certain terms. And he got the message
that he's full of himself. He was and he
went to see the init private meeting and
he told the rebba that I'm finally ready
to admit that I'm I'm a little arrogant
just a little bit. I'm full of myself in
our culture say you couldn't be next to
me. He smelled so bad. So um he goes
into the and he tells the deb I need
help getting past my ego appreciating
the fact that the blessings that I have
come from God. My successes are not my
own. If my friends had the mind I had,
they know better than I do. I got to get
over myself.
And the Reb said to him in Yiddish, also
classic
Yiddish,
you understand Yiddish.
Whatever you think of yourself,
be
didn't talk him down from his ego. He
talked him up to his ego. You think
you're brilliant, be brilliant. You
think you're smarter than everybody
else, be smarter than everybody else.
You think you're the holiest roller in
the world, roll of the holy. Just be
whatever you think. Think as highly as
yourself as you wish and then challenge
yourself to be what you think.
Say, ladies and gentlemen, I I we're
going to we're going to continue this.
This is the formal part. There'll be the
informal part. I want to finish with
this simple idea.
Dr. Jonathan Sax who was unfortunately
all of Ashalam said very famously that
you know great leaders get people to
believe in themselves
sorry leaders get people to believe in
them great leaders get people to believe
in themselves leaders create followers
great leaders create leaders
took very ordinary people really
and he gave them a mandate
and the mandate was do something
and know that the little bit that you do
is not a chemical reaction. It's a
nuclear reaction. The little bit that
you do will have ripples and ripples and
ripples and you will not be able to
count the number of fruit that will grow
from the trees that you succeed in
planting. You think you're planting one
tree or two trees or three trees. And
what's interesting about that,
it's an open field.
that Abbe empowered every Jew
to be a leader. You just have to decide
that you want it. You have to just
decide that this is important enough for
you not just to be a taker but a giver.
And all of us who were in Kabad know
that when we give,
what we're giving back to ourselves and
to our families and to our children is
tenfold. It's a hundfold and a
thousandfold. That did us the biggest
favor. Anybody that ever said you want
to be a go ahead. You want to be a
kabadnik go ahead. Just do find a space.
The world is still big enough find a
hole. Find a nish. They have today all
over the world now ambassadors for
mitzvah. People my son god bless him.
He's a and it's near Philadelphia.
Before Pesak, his community was going
around handing out matzas. The people
who are handing out the matzahas
probably don't even know you're not
supposed to eat bread on bas but they
know you're supposed to have matzah so
they can give matzah to another person.
Anybody can be an ambassador for
mitzvah. And when you give you get many
many fold I need to finish with a story.
There was a great sadic whose name was
of okay frame of reference. He passed
away in 1850
1851.
He died 1851. That's a long time ago. He
was a very holy man. Anyway, he had a
follower who was very poor. Had a large
family, many children to marry off. And
of course, in those days, if you
couldn't pay for a wedding, you couldn't
have a you couldn't have a a hassan for
your daughters or a kala for your sons.
And he was eating himself up and his
wife was beating him up. So, it was a
great combination.
That's the one two punch for those who
don't know. Um,
and he would say to his wife, you know,
where we get the money for the weddings.
And his wife would say, you know, you
have an uncle in Vienna. I have an uncle
in Vienna. He had an uncle in Vienna.
Vienna was a modern city, a secular
town. Then his uncle was not a religious
man. Lived alone, never got married, had
no children, had tons of guilt. And he
really looked down at his nephew. His
nephew was a schleer. you know, his
nephew was
one of those, you know, as they said
before the Holocaust.
Anyway, his wife said, "Go to see your
uncle." He said, "Nah, my uncle hates
me. He's going to put he's going to make
fun of me." She said, "Okay, he'll make
fun of you and he'll give you a check.
It's worth it. You need the value of
your children." This conversation went
on for a few years. And one day, she
fought, "Okay, I'm going. I'm going to
my uncle." So, the family was very
excited. They bought him a new suitcase
and they got him some money for the trip
and some food and some clothes. They
dressed them all up and he's gone his
way to see his uncle. He comes to the
door of his home and he put his hand in
the he stops and he thinks and he puts
down the suitcase says I'm NOT GOING.
OH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT GOING?
So he says,
which means who knows about uncle is
still alive maybe he died and if he's
alive maybe he lost his money and even
if he's alive and he has his money maybe
he doesn't want to give it to me but God
is alive and God's rich and he wants to
give he's not going anyway don't ask
what happened after that his wife went
ballistic his children stop talking to
him where they talk to him non-stop
and the story is a little while after he
gets a knock on the door officer of the
the I guess it's the Galitian army comes
through and he says listen I'm going to
the front I I cannot trust anybody but
you I know from childhood I trust you
I'm leaving you an enormous amount of
money like 15,000 rubble or whatever if
I'm not back in 90 days he tells him it
means I was killed and the money is
yours if I'm back in 90 days. You'll
give it to me back. Fine. He puts the
money away. 90 days turns into 180 days
and 270 days. And his wife says, "Take
the money. It's not mine.
Take the money." He said he doesn't come
back in 90 days. Means he's dead. It's
not my money. I'm not touching it. So
there's another argument. Anyway, after
a long long discussion, he says, "I'm
going to see the Reb, the holy,
the great saddak of
he comes to the where he lived and he
made an appointment to see his reb. He
walks through the threshold of his Reb's
door before he had a chance to say a
word. looks up with the most beautiful
eyes
and says to him in Yiddish
on that heart
on that heart,
God Almighty is alive. He has got plenty
of money and he gave some to you.
I give all of us a
God Almighty is alive and he has a lot
more than money. He has health and he
even has wisdom and he even has normal
and he even has peace
and hashem should bless each one of us
and he should give us all these
wonderful gifts and when we see them and
we experience them we should celebrate
them and we should say thank you. God
loves thank you and you give a thank you
yet another check. Okay, good evening to
all of you. Thank you for listening.