Fascinating Women: Yael and the Mother of Sisera by Pearl Borow

I definitely consider one of the most fascinating things about saish of Tim the people that are in in the stories not so much the major figures but the medium ones or even the ones that are really minor and so today I'm going to talk about one of the ones that is kind of like almost a major figure Y El she's not the heroine but she's almost the major figure and then somebody who's just mentioned almost like like an afterthought at the very end and that of course is the mother of cisterra two vastly different people obviously and yet there are people that give us women yes that give us I think very some very sophisticated ideas to think about seriously sophisticated ideas to think about and oh who is this y who is this yel don't answer that was a rhetorical question at any rate who is she and um what do we learn from this yel well I have to tell you something what we learn is very confusing in a certain manner but then we have to remember that life is very confusing sometimes life gets very complicated sometimes um sometimes we make decisions and it's not between something that is clearly correct and something that is clearly incorrect or something that is clearly good for us or good for the world and something that is clearly not good for us and not good for the world but rather we sometimes need to make decisions between things that are a little shaded whether we do it or not and sometimes we have to make that decision very very quickly on the spur of the moment and that is really what J El did so let's go back to the beginning let's go back to the beginning and acquaint ourselves reacquaint ourselves with who this yel is who is this person that dor in herir Praises so greatly equating her literally to the IM when she says the wife of H should be blessed should be thanked more than the nashim ohel and one understanding we'll get to another one is that nashim ohel are the women that are associated with t SAR Rifka Rael Le well the story I'm Israel towards the beginning of the time of the shoftim are engaged in a major battle with the Canaanite Army the army of Yin melan the general of whose Army is a certain CRA who is well known for being a major St uh technician he's a very good General and he's known to be victorious in all of his battles however he is currently suffering a defeat on by the hands of Barak and of course dvor herself he runs away from the battlefield in a cowardly move to save himself remember and if you'll follow in the sources we are told uh it's actually the Second Source you have VRA CRA fled on foot elel y to the tent of Y the wife of Shalom was he felt good running there because there was peace or some kind of treaty between uh the king of Kor and the Kani the house of Ki so he sees a tent and I'm sure you understand that not everybody lived in tents it was unusual for people to live in tents at this time they lived in houses they lived in ston houses and he saw a tent and he knew that the tent belonged to thei and he was safe he was going to go run there meanwhile we have already been introduced to this Kaki and that perak and perak dalid and sa a few him back and if you remember it kind of comes out of The Ether we're told the story of d'vorah and in the middle of the story appoo of seemingly nothing we're told it's m very interesting we're told about a certain haki that is his name who separated himself from his Nation his Nation were all living in the South and this m is taking place up in the bean area and he all of the K lived around uro and drum Haron that area he separated himself from them and it says Miken and there is an opinion that they descended from cayen we're not sure though it could have been the name of the nation MOS and we have a throwback a historical throwback because we're told that this Kaki is a descendant of of what's the other name for that we know yro thank you he's a descendant of yro the father-in-law of Moshe VES and he pitched his tent up north North right where near where the battle had been taking place in the area of Kadesh he separated himself he wanted to live more North and we have the fact that this tent is right in the middle of the area not far from the battlefield and we're told that he is she is too y a descendant of yro so let's throw ourselves back one is the last time we heard anything about yro it is way back in the Torah right we haven't heard anything about him in yahushua yes we did not him but his descendants excuse me not really in yahushua but in the time of yahushua it appears in saim but what was the last thing we really learned about yro so we go back to the time shortly before Matan Tor the beginning of parro when yro comes to Moshe remember with seora with the two children and he presents himself to Moshe and the next day he observes as Moshe is uh teaching the people are coming to him and he's teaching them and he's giving them advice and they're coming to him with questions and he says mosha na you're going to fall upon thought you can't do this on your own and he gives him some very good advice if you remember yes yes and he gives him some very good advice and mosha follows that advice and I didn't put this Source down on your paper I apologize however I please listen you know it it's very familiar we have [Music] in the beginning of before we learn about and Mos listened to the voice of his father-in-law and he did everything that he told him remember Moshe chose a man of accomplishment he got people from all the nation and he made them leaders of the nation and he made them S one minute I lost my place here we go he made them leaders over thousands over hundreds over 50 and over 10 in other words there was a guy who's in charge of 10 people if he couldn't answer the question they went to the guy above him who was in charge of 50 etc etc etc in other words vro had told Moshe get yourself some help appoint some people who are sharp and able and they will help you and it'll be easier for you because they'll take the questions and hopefully save you a little bit of time and then it tells us they'll judge the people8 anytime all the time they will be the judges at [Music] that which is difficult any question that's difficult they'll bring to M and every small thing they'll judge and then it tells us by no we need that line that's why I had to do that little section and mosha sent his father-in-law away and he went to his people but he didn't go right away it just doesn't give us a timeline here it tells us mosha listened to him and he went but we know that he stayed almost a year with mosha oh no he heard we don't know that's a very good question there's a disagreement he became obviously he became a oh that's what I'm getting too she so you know did he not did he not hear either he heard about it remember at the very beginning of parro there is one of those chronological problems as to when exactly yro came was it before Matan or was it after yes yes oh whoa loaded loaded Ellen Ellen that's really a loaded question how could it be that he would not have his children that's a loaded question because we can't oh I want to tell you something I'm willing I'm willing I'm willing to analyze y but I'm not willing to analyze [Laughter] Mo but the question the qu yro came yes the question is if it was before Matan Tor then how did you then what was mosha talking to the people about when he was judging them what questions were they asking him it had to be after matano when they started learning some of the things or was it not were they there actually for Matan that's what K are asking and that's why that's where we get a little bit confused about time but one thing we know is that in Bidar in parat B we do learn a very interesting P which is peric another name for the father-in-law [Music] of we we're traveling to the place that Hashem promised I'm going to give you come with us come with us and we'll do good to you because Hashem spoke good things he promised us good things they are about ready to make their first journey from har almost a year after Matan Torah they are about ready to make their first journey and mosha turns to yro who is still there there and says to him you're coming with us aren't you we're going into ER Israel v and strangely says to him I'm not going to go but rather I am going to go back to my land and my birthplace very interesting mosha says to him please don't leave us because you know all our camping places in the midbar either the past tense you were an eyewitness or future you can be a guide you'll be a you know the midbar you could be our guide and it will be if you come with us we promise you that the good that Hashem is promising us we will add you to the good and basically the M say that maybe yro was mosha was afraid that yro thought maybe that as a gar he wouldn't have he won't be accepted he wouldn't have AAL and Moses says no Hashem promised us all of us will have a including the gim that join us yes I think that that's true he was trying to make him feel that he was needed I think I think in this case I don't know for sure but I think so I think so at any rate what I wanted to I wanted to share with you you a very interesting Med on this entire situation it is ail m is the um and we have that that we said we needed that I said we needed before that he sent him away in other words from theote we know that didn't stay despite the fact that mosha was begging him and making him feel good so he he left we know that from schot Rua you have that in your sources he send him giving him great cavod extremely great cavod razar H RAR says he gave him many gifts because we learn a lot from the answer that yro gave him which we don't have spelled out notice sh the other thing we just read the other source please don't leave usarlo it's you should have it I will tell you the number one moment it is number two and I just came to third line amarlo you got it third line you gave us very good advice and a very pleasant piece of advice but and even himself agreed to your words so please don't leave us Marlo excuse me said to him yro said to him isn't it true that a candle only gives pleasure in the dark if you light a candle it doesn't help you much in the light does it if it's light like we put a candle on the table it wouldn't make a difference in what we can see in this room but if it would be dark in this room then that little candle would help us see several things in the room and identify them the and what good does a candle do when it's standing between the Sun and the Moon is saying to Moshe you are the son and your brother is the moon what good can the candle do between them Ella but rather I am going to go back to my nation and I am going to convert all the people in my country and I will bring them to learning Tor and I will bring them close under the wings of the the spirit of aades yra was saying there is no specific good I can do here you and Aaron are certainly capable leaders yra was an extremely intelligent person who was accustomed to leadership he said I can't be a leader here I'm going to go back to my nation and there I am going to take a leadership role I am going to convert all of them I will tell them the importance of learning Torah and I will bring them close to a is it possible that he went and didn't do what he promised Ella Tomar we learn in saer our per descendants of the children of the K came up north a little bit from the city marim is EO marim the city of dates is uro they came up from Ur do you remember why they came up and he went and he dwelt with the nation and you know what that means the he went they came to learn with the first Chael benaz because just before this PUK appears we learn about the daughter of K we have another wonderful figure that AA she's wonderful who is the daughter of K whom he marries makes a nice little sh with otel Ben the first chaet and she's worried that oh yeah he's a tal but what about making a living what about is he going to be able to support a family correctly and so she begs her father she falls off her remember it's a rifa comparison she falls off her donkey and says to him you gave me deep Waters meaning you gave me a but I also need surface waters that really provide that which a family needs and C grants her a piece of land in the area and so he is called benaz is also called yav and it's talking about these descendants right after the story of AA these descendants of yro the Ki coming to learn Torah with Y with so in other words the proof the proof that yro did indeed uh convert his Nation we hear in the beginning of SE of Tim peric Al and as I mentioned a few minutes ago in it is told even more clearly which is quoted here a family of actual those who sat with Y which means they learned with Y and then there's a whole bunch of names and the M tells us why they're called these names because they came to listen because they came to learn they wanted to be with am Israel with the leader of am Israel at the time benaz otherwise known as yav so basically uh the whole rest of the medrash is telling us proof that a that they did indeed learn Torah and come close to Hashem and come move up north despite the fact that their father yro when he did convert the whole nation did give them some instructions and the reason I'm telling you this orally is because we need to know a paric in yu where we meet a yon Ben reav and ROV is one of the earliest descendant of yro who tells yah who our father commanded us to be part of amra but to keep an individual identity to always live in tense to always live in tense and to live in enclaves of our own and what we see is they stayed in enclaves but they did move in what this milila is telling us they started moving in to be closer to am Israel so we can imagine you know keeping an individual identity is all well and good but it does make you feel very individual and very alone and I'm assuming that maybe this y did feel a little bit different I'm assuming that's me I haven't seen it any place but I'm making this assumption but now we have her background we have who she is and the fact that it would seem that there was some kind kind of peace treaty in other words the king of katsur had nothing to do with the descendants of kany on the whole because they lived in the South and he was busy in the north Conquering the area but at any rate we have a whole bunch I gave you a whole bunch of these sources that we've now discussed and we have an interesting rag on chatim on the pukin we're doing now which you have in I think it's four no it's five five M it mentioned that he had separated himself from the rest of his Nation yid Yehuda because we learned above in peric Al that they lived in the South inides and he came up north here where the battle was and pitched his tent in the area of Kadesh if I'm giving you a lot of sources and you're saying what is she doing it's because I'm trying to prove something to you meazel it's teaching us the way yel worked I will tell you exactly what I'm getting to the Minh the way of life the custom of [Music] this was exactly exactly the way all of the descendants of yro acted H Israel here's what I wanted you to hear whether you took it for granted until now or not they all acted according to Hal they accepted Isel my friends what I am saying to you is that ya is a Jewish woman in every sense of the word she did have the minhag of her people to live in tents and not in houses but the rag is at pains to make sure that we understand that she accepted upon herself do and for that reason and that's why she really felt that it was very important for her to kill cisra because he was tormenting her people shom SRA but even though despite in truth there was peace between K's family and CRA nevertheless nevertheless if SRA is fighting against against Israel the ra is telling us then yel felt that her loyalties had to be with am Israel and so that puts a smack in the middle of what happened here in the middle of the story because Yael was called upon to make an important decision in a split second yes there's peace between cisra but this is a battle for for existence an existential battle between the SRA and amra and I really need something I need to do something right now and we know the story we know the story we just don't know exactly we know that she invited sister into her Oho we know that she fed him warm milk when he asked for water so that he would get sleepy so that she would be able to do something and we know that she then took a tent Peg and she hammered it into his skull and it tells us by the way it went through the skull and into the ground but it did it on its own because even though yel knew how to use a t Peg sorry to tell you but the women used to pitch the tents in those days it was the women's job one of the women's jobs they did the dishes and they pitched the tents and yeah and they knew how to get a tent peg into the hard rocky soil of the north of AR Israel nevertheless she could have never have done it if she didn't have a little Nace to help her at any rate we see she invited him in CU we can make a comparison between the way she talks to cisra and the way she talked to boas when she talked to cisra and go ahead is it's Source six on the bottom of the page that V is she went out she didn't hide in the tent she went out towards him and and she said Sur Adon Sur El yes it's meant to be seductive there's no question surra come over Surah Eli she says not to my tent she says Surah Eli come to me Al Don't Be Afraid by and he came with her to the tent and she covered him with a which we are not sure what that SM is we'll talk about it in a minute not right this minute because we are going to skip the next source and we're going to go to the one right after that the H Barak Ro CRA and a few minutes later Barak was chasing to find where SRA is V and she goes out again V Le she said to him Le go she didn't say surra she said go continue I will show you the man that you are seeking and he came to her noil mate Andra was falling Fallen dead and the at the teneg was in his Temple what are we to make about this story in simple English what really happened in that ohel kazel have both sides of of the story covered on the one hand you know that radak that I skipped I skipped a little rad it is where was it it should be it's the top number seven true it is the top of marish Rish says MRA we've looked through the entire Torah the entire WR Torah and we haven't found a CLE a utensil that's called a SM there is a SM with a but look at this it doesn't have a s it has a sin we haven't found this what did she cover what is this that's spelled with a sin actually read it as though it has a shin my name is here it's like Hashem is saying I'm putting my name here that he didn't that that Rasha that that sisra didn't touch her in other words everything that went on in that ohel was fine acceptable yes she did seductively call a in but nothing happened there and yetal also point to one p in the Shir which is devastating utterly devastating graphic thick and harsh which says look at those words between her feet between her legs he bent right he Li down it tells us twice that he down between her legs it's very graphic when I used to teach chatim to fifth grade back in the olden days was a long time ago I taught it to fifth grade and I used to with a straight face translate Bane rega not as between her legs but at her legs he fell remember was in America will you translate and I daved every time I taught it that there wouldn't be one smart kid in the class that would say Mrs SP but B doesn't mean at her feet nobody ever did I was lucky nobody ever did I said B feet he fell but it's very graphic and kelle say it's repeated and then it says shamal sh seven times he had relation with her seven times he forced her he raped her we are very aware of this type of thing today in our present world it's very interesting that the the reaction of kelle to this story is very mixed on the one hand he didn't touch her on the other hand seven times we have in the talmud b in Nazir you have the source also Amar did you ever hear that expression rabman says it it is greater to do an AA when you're doing it for the right purpose can you imagine the statement then where you're doing a Mitzvah not for the correct intention but then right away yes yes okay she was raped by by a she killed him killed her yes and after she was raped that's right and same happened also es oh I was going to bring that up thank you Esther because it's knew that she was going to be she was and she was yes to oh only never you're right only you're absolutely absolutely everything okay yes isn't that isn't that interesting but let's go on with the gamarra we have a problem the gamarra isn't finished forar and it's true that rudar rabuda says in the name of R RAB who this is wait a minute wait wait because don't we learn learn that you should do Toro mitv even if it's not for the right purpose because if you do it maybe for the wrong purpose you might learn to do it for the right purpose so again we have a mixed reaction we have a very mixed reaction do you know you we all know the right the there is the yud letter in theic Al of mish which I did not put in on your sheet because I decided to include it after I sent the sheet in I did put it in yay how intelligent to me I didn't even remember that I put it in I'm sorry at any rate your she sent out her hand to the spindle in other words a knows how to spin we know that whenever kazal talk about spinning and what schomo was saying spinning is a woman doing her job correctly spinning talks about everything that a woman is supposed to do in the house correctly that she is in charge of the atmosphere cuz spinning is like planning planning a head you spin a tail right however the medrash Mish says so interesting we're talking about y shal who didn't use a regular weapon of War to kill cisra Ella but she used the teneg with the strength of her own hands why didn't she tell take his sword she could have just taken his sword he was fast asleep in all the artist Renditions his sword is lying right there to fulfill that which is stated in the to a woman is not supposed to use a masculine utensil she shouldn't put on masculine clothing remember and so ya is very careful the med Mish is telling us ya is so careful that while she's worried about what she's doing and worried about whether it's right and whether she'll be able to do it she also says and I imagine it I really can see it she's saying if I take his sword I might not be able to kill him but I know how to use a 10 Peg I've done this for years I'm going to take that 10 Peg and I will hope that I have enough strength interestingly there's an observation in root Raba not only do we have a connection to Esther because Esther also was forced to go into the palace however there's a comment here remember the way MCAT R starts it starts it was at the time that theim judged o the medish goes on to say Woe Is to the generation that judged their judges it was in the days that people judge their judges they didn't consider them they didn't give them credit for truly being leadership materiala Woe Is to the generation whose leaders who need to be judged deserve to be judged tells us that they didn't listen to their who are the that didn't deserve perhaps to be shim that were criticized by the people and so there are many examples it starts with DOR of all people dorah and Barak were criticized Rua Lear shood two chatim the thir and the fourth that were not among the great greatest and also another opinion is was a Chet and what they are saying is there's problem here why two women Omar ra and ra it's because it says is double we're talking about a time that there were three judges there's they're not saying that women are not good leaders no they are saying woe was to a generation where a everybody criticizes the leaders and B to a generation where we don't see the men taking a leadership role remember at the beginning of the story when d'vorah goes to Barack and says Barak Hashem didn't Hashem say that we have to fight the enemy and he says if you go with me I'll go and she says woo if you go if you want me to go I'll go but I want you to know that the Yeshua will happen at the hands of a woman and kazel is saying this was a generation that many of the men did not come remember and shora she mentions shaim that did not come to help in this battle it was a harsh time there's an opinion in the gamarra I could not find the source and that's why you don't have it but I remember it that haki had to give Yael a divorce after this incident because she invited him into the tent and said surra compared to Esther who according to kazal was married to morai but they say it's different because she was forced and anyway they did probably divorce course because we know that Esther stayed in the palace Esther never got to go free again we see her show up mid rically in saer neia where she is the Queen Mother sitting with uh dares the next king who's also called Art and we see her sitting there so she stayed with aash and if she was married to morai she left so we have d'vorah praising her greatly we have a story of somebody who doesn't completely shine but who doesn't completely she is not completely tarnished at all she is considered a good woman who listened to her husband which is very high praise and how shall we conclude my friends shall we say that one must act when opportunity presents itself shall we say it's too dangerous because we might not have time to weigh all the etern all all the Alternatives sometimes when we make choices at we as we mentioned at the beginning in real life then those choices are not 100% one way or another but we make the best choice that we can do I have to end now I do have to I do have to end now so very quickly let me just give you because I really do not want to take anybody's time the story of cra's mother I'm going to tell you very quickly because I will not take anyone's time it's interesting