First Light, Second Light: Preserving the Inspiration - Rabbi Benzion Klatzko

[Music] I'm going to share with you a concept and this will be the one concept that I share with you know then then what I'm going to tell you the surprise that I have waiting for you this concept will help you in love it will help you in business it will help you in your entire life that's a great important concept when God created the world it says in the Torah he made light and then if you look carefully it looks like he made a second light the Midrash tells us that that first light was created but it was the kind of life that we could not use it was so penetrating it was so bright it was so awesome it was almost scary it was not the kind of light that we were able to use and therefore God removed that light and put in its place a second light and that second light was not as bright not as beautiful but that second life lasts first life created and if you like science again you lose my man where's my Maggie right so we got light waves we know there's a lot of light most of it that we've got very little access to there's a very very short spectrum that we can see but we know there's way more light out there so much is dangerous some which is micro so much as a macro so which is very far apart the way it was right so there is light out there that animals could see that we can't be still armed there is light out there that's bright and it was too bright for mankind so God removes our light and in its place puts a much more calm light and that calm life was not as bright but it's the light that lasts that we use and from there came the pattern called first light second light and everything from the beginning of creation started using this pattern of first light second light and here's how it works first lines big bright beautiful doesn't laugh sack you might not so bright maybe not so glamorous but much more calm and it could last forever let me give you an example of first light second light you go on a date and it's your first time meeting this person maybe it's a blind date I don't know and they're gorgeous they're stunning they're so beautiful you actually got nervous Kara having something so striking like you're not yourself for a little bit I use up it's a bright light and you fall head-over-heels over this guy over this girl and you're so excited but that excitement as time goes on and let's say you go out with it and you go out for a while and eventually you marry them what happens to that life is it does it last are you always going to be shaking from their beauty man it's going to disappear it's going to disappear that light will not last that light you don't even want it to last interestingly enough Hollywood whenever it shows happily ever after they show the first slide happily ever after but anyone who is married God will you all be married to wonderful wonderful people I mean you will see that that light is unsustainable and you can't even you can't even deal with that light would you like somebody who's so so in love with you that it's cycling you can't when after I got married I found a notebook that belonged to my wife as a notebook blonde Turk before she was married and I saw that in that notebook she took a pen and she wrote my name thousands of times in little hearts she doesn't do that anymore then you get married at first light disappears but just because it disappears that doesn't mean that you can't love that person but the love will take place with a different in a different manner it's going to be second light love and second my love is not as bright it's not as beautiful perhaps but it's got other advantages it's much more calm it is much more stable and mature why how do you get second light here's how you get it you get it by earning it first light does not last because you did nothing turn first light you see this girl from across the room you didn't do anything what did you do did you did you sit by her bed when she had a disgusting cold and pick up her tissues did you look at your guy when he's pledging and complaining or when he guess he gets the second speeding ticket in the week you didn't get it into anything you did nothing first light doesn't last because you didn't earn it second light can last you could acquire it but you have to earn it so now we're playing together rules I don't have a black border here of a picture this first light beautiful big bright doesn't last you didn't earn it second light not so beautiful not so bright more mature much more calming but it could last because you are in it okay we're getting these rules these are use a deep Kabbalistic ideas if you understand this concept you'll understand why there have to be two sets of tablets first tablet was called first light travels those big bright beautiful came down Moshe thunder lightning what happened to the first set of tablets but having the first set of tablets that broke those two pride there's too much second tablets quietly brought down the mountain they were the ones that lasted let me give you another example this trip this trip there have been moments on this trip that were truly truly inspirational there have been moments and I know I'll tell you a lot of mine saying this on camera I come on these trips not just to speak and whatever and I come to recharge myself because I work very hard I travel every week and I also need my battery recharged I'm just human and our time said I could be doing all sorts of spiritual things but not feel anything because it just it's just on cruise control and I stop and I feel it when I go to the grave of Raquel and I recharge over here when I come in there are moments that are really really really special dancing before Shabbat from the King David all the way days it was amazing wait till you see the video that you're going to you're going to marvel that you were part of something so epic and then tonight by the banquet when people get up and they say rabbi or magis cos his trip was so amazing it was so wonderful the beautiful I got so much out of it I'm going to come home and I'm going to I've committed to succeed some of the ways they succeed I'm gonna start doing Shabbat I'm going to start doing this and I'm going to look at you and I'm going to clamp and in my mind I'm going to say honestly no you're not sorry you know why you know why because it's for like all you experienced was first light here all you got was a choreographed micromanage trip you got a trip where every bit of inspiration was spoon-fed to you and then you're gonna go home and reality is going to smack you up beside that you're going to go home and nobody just experienced going to the Kotel every morning nobody experienced your bottom fraud or shabbath inertia lied nobody was surrounded with inspiration and tour and so on so slowly but surely all the inspiration that you got is going to just it's going to go out like the arrows out of a tire and sad but that's okay because I tell it to you because you should know that you can get it back but it won't feel the same you can get inspiration back Lily but its second light that you'll get not first light but how do you get it by earning it I have this young lady named Allie Allie Gowen and she was on our trip a few about two years ago and she said I went on birthright and asked her birthright I was so inspired was a secular birthright so I was so inspired I began trying to keep kosher the birthright kids good yeah I was so inspired but then there was no place to eat kosher nearly there were no kosher restaurants so eventually I stopped she said but I want to continue it after that keep it up I am more inspired now than I was then so I told her Ellie you have to be prepared your first light is not going to last you have to you have to earn second light what's the point a first light if it does last Kabbalistic could anyone think of the logic why would God create a world where you've got this crazy inspiration that first love that first is right but it won't last what's the point if you take a block of wood and you want to gather oil and you pour the oil on top of the block wood it'll just trip down the sides you're not going to gather any oil so what do you need to do you take it all that's a tool take it all and you you bore a hole in this block of wood and then you could pour the oil in and it will hold the oil in that same way the point our first light is there in order to create a hole for second light the point the first love is to show you you can love this person so much so now that you're married now that you got a few kids now you got the seven-year itch now that is don't doesn't seem glamorous remember how little of you were with the person when you were in love with the person and aim for that and the secret is that second light in a certain way feels better than first light his first sight could feel not real it could feel like it's lala land it stops it's not real you can't live like that but second light when you notice that the person you married has flaws and you love them not despite their flaws but because of their flaws when you come back after a trip and you don't feel Shabbat in thought or Shabbat in Jerusalem we have Shabbat in Orlando or Shabbat in Indiana or Shabbat in Gainesville or Arizona and you don't feel the same you remember that it's the same God it's the same holiday it's the same time it just happens to be Arizona and not yerushalayim and then you work towards acquiring a second light that's the pattern of the universe really I could speak about this for much longer I'm not going to because we have a lot to do today but the concept of first light second light is an incredibly important concept for you to be aware of first light big bright beautiful doesn't laugh second light not so bright not so beautiful but it could last how do you how do you acquired you earn it the last thing I'm going to say about this is the following does first light inspiration lasts until you get second light or this first light eventually disappear then you are spinning your wheels and always trying to get that first light right I'm trying to get back for his life one the place holder that a hold first light in place so that second light can come picture building a castle I used to live next to the beach when I was young I lived in a Tanya and we used to build my counts of both tunnels and we would build these tunnels in the sand and then once in a while a rogue wave would come along that was just a little bit bigger than the other waves and it would splash to shore and in two seconds the hole that we built was flooded and filled up and we're all sad disappointed what keeps first light there so that second light can fill it up here the question the answer is you do by holding on to something of first light by holding on to something and when you come back something meaningful remember I did the ten commandments of marriage and pursued a solution of doing ten commandments so I didn't do all ten one of them that I did not do and I'm going to tell you now it's a commandment of relationships and marriage is don't break the pattern of your day to day which means the following if you and the one that you love are fighting you don't say well I'm eating supper in my room I don't want to sit by you know you said it by the same table you need that suffering even if you aren't talking to each other you don't interrupt the routine because the routine is the fabric of your marriage and if you break that routine you dissolve the very foundation of you make so don't take him on the couch like I told you in that story of the girl in cutter air when I told you the story of my brother don't don't leave the house for a few days don't move into a different bedroom there's a fabric of marriage that fabric of marriage is the remnant of first light that you hold on to while you wait for second light second love to take hold got that while I wait for our fight to be over for our relationship to be strong again while I wait for that the place holder is the routine of the marriage so don't break that okay so to synopsized there's a concept called first light second light this applies to love so if you love somebody and it disappears don't give up on that love just be aware that that first life may be gone and now it's time for the relationships that become more serious now it's time to invest a little bit more it involves the trip as well right these Ames priests and that you got over here you're going to go home you're not going to be support it very rarely have I met a student whose parents who came all in his presence yeah good for you start doing Shabbat know does it all know they're pulling away from me all of it on e my Tisch right - they must hate me general havior and peace what happened whatever if you want to be a vegetarian whether your hates me no it's the principle thing so why is it okay if you want to be a vegetarian but I want to keep kosher it's did we have this double standard you don't think a double standard but that's how parents are I told my kids I want to try I told this to my kids many years guy said if you ever become more religious than me which they are so I will celebrate that I'll celebrate you why because you're on a journey and I celebrate my kids journeys I don't squash their journeys the bottom line is does you have to be supported but when I tell my students I finish with this list well I tell my students it is true there is a mitzvah so listen to our parents is called cubed a vein but that Midland has certain limits in the limit that it has the Torah defines the same tour that gives us the commandment says sov ho st McAteer oh there's chef so side dish more on ehm that for the verse goes which means on your parents but keep the Shabbat and the commentary say that what that means is honor them unless they tell you to disobey me if they tell you don't listen to me then all bets are off but it's a little bit deeper than that we have two families important to notice I call them family past I'm family future family past are our parents there's a family that brought us up until we were 20 or 22 or our role most of your life you're going to spend with family future those are your kids and grandkids in your spouse and too often we make decisions that affect family future to satisfy family past like the story I told you of my father if he had listened to my grandmother who was she hated the fact that he got into his Judaism after she had dropped it if he had tried to save try the stance my family past then you guys wouldn't be here today because there would be no Akiva trip and all the rabbi's that I was able to affect and train maybe someone else would have trained him and I'm up the only guy who could train in a rabbi but whatever I was able to offer I wouldn't be able to offer told make decisions about family future for family past at a certain point in your life you have to grow wings and fly I just want to be an artist and your parents say that's not a job be an accountant would you say okay I hate accounting but I want to make them happy but about Sarah would you do that yeah you know some of the greatest singers in history their parents were against them being artists and I wonder if their parents eventually said you know I'm glad you listened because you're now world famous you're making way more money okay then you could have made as an accountant family future in effects so we have three minutes three minutes if anyone has any questions that we do not cover on the trip I know there's a lot we didn't cover it's not nothing personal you're not in family tree endurance fairly fast right now fairly fast right now it's a good question I want to tell you I was offered I guess I'm saying this on camera as well I was offered about a month ago an incredibly important position in orden I don't want to say the name of the organization but a very very big organization and I would have been in charge in the United States of teenagers and they were willing to pay me more than I'm making now and I wouldn't have had to travel as much like it was a great great opportunity and I thought about it and then I called them and I said no and the reason that I said no is because I just can't work for teenagers I can't I love them but I can't you know why Maxo they don't have brains some dude I can't work with them because they are under the parents thumb and there's no progress that they can make because they go home every day but you're not that you are independent people you're so connected your parents may still pay for your schooling and you still want to use them up you know I honor my parents very very much but at least now you are free in your college or in your post college career to really do a Shabbat to make your private kitchen kosher cuz you can and you can't when you're 16 and that's why I said no to this position I can't I need to work with people who are then transitioning transitioning from family past to families future and you're the transition and here's here's the rub you can't the transition after you and family future already because by then it's too late if you've already chosen your spouse and your spouse may not be on board you've got the transition before him that will help you make the choice of who you want to marry and hi wanna raise your kids and where you want to live at where you go to school that starts now it doesn't start after you're married I had people say well you know I'm gonna start doing savate after I'm married to eat maybe the person who you marry doesn't want maybe they don't want to do kosher then now is the time you make your move because this is where you create your identity does that make sense once you chose another person then every decisions got two to two people with an opinion once you choose another person so it happens before it happens now you are those people any other questions our last question anyone [Music]