Git Gelt Episode 4: Is Financial Success Truly Meant for You? Chaim Ekstein Sholom Friedmann

committed themselves to making the jump some people can't succeed because the makes them having limiting beliefs they all they all became very wealthy people could be your wife could be your parents you could you could have a tremendous relationship with your parents but you don't have to discuss with your parents [Music] money good morning gulum how are you we're on the air good morning how are you before we start I understood that you had some things that you wanted to discuss from the last episode right I did I did so you were talking at the last episode about in order to move forward to make that jump you you have to create the situation where it's it's a Do or Die situation where it's just it's a necessity not a luxury that and and that engages your passion to just really make it happen and I think that's fantastic and I think this a tremendously important y you shared the story with your mentor about the furniture and the lady who said that you know she wants to get new furniture and he said as long as you have the old furniture you're not going to feel driven to get new furniture I've been thinking about since we discussed that is that at the end of the day you know it seems to me like it's a bit dangerous to make this General give this general advice because you know I I've seen people who have tried this who've read the books who've who've spoken to coaches and so on and they' they've committed themselves to making the jump and they put themselves in a situation where they literally have no furniture and everything is is put on on risk and you know what it doesn't work they're not much and you know you you might tell me well they just got to keep trying or whatever but at the end of the day not everybody's cut out for that and when I hear your thoughts you're making kind of a general statement or giving general advice but how do you cater that to individuals so that the right people hear the right guidance and the raid advice okay very good question and by the way you say that you know people I also know people and I'm one of them okay so I have firsthand information and you know you know the story that there was a uh a that was you know he was laying in in bed not doing anything you know he didn't want to get up and he uh you know he didn't didn't have the courage to to do what he was supposed to do and it was very mayash as they say so a breast comes to him and tells him what's going on with you brother you know why why are you still in bed get up start doing something he said no I'm over nothing works for me I don't think I'm going to ever get to anything to accomplish anything so the bre tells him I don't know what you're talking about you know the Reb says how can you be there's no such a thing in the world as disparity you know get up and start get your act together so he tells him what the re says there is no such a thing as y you out of your mind get out of my house I don't want to know you anymore he says why what did I do he says because there the only thing in my life that I still had was he took that away from me as well so I agree with you 100% that a lot of people when they hear this message get very very disappointed because they the only thing that worked for them and the only thing that they settled in was and now this ex comes and still tells them there is no such a thing you crazy you know the wants you to succeed get your ex together and start succeeding it didn't work until now who says that it's not going to work from now going forward a lot of people people can be very very heartbroken by getting this message and the reason is because they tried a lot of things and didn't work and declared themselves as either losers or the doesn't want me to succeed you know whatever excuses they they came up with and I totally get them why the human nature is to come up with excuses when you try a lot of things it doesn't work and of course it's not easy but if you go and you study successful people if you go you study Mega successful people you will almost always hear stories similar to that how many times they tried it it didn't work and they kept trying they kept trying sometimes a thousand times sometimes a few thousand times until something clicked in and it started working so yes from one side I agree with you some people will be very disappointed and some people they're not going to be able to listen to our podcast even to our sh because they're going to think you know you put me out of my comfort zone I'm a comfortable person uh so what do you want from me let me stay like that and it work you know so many people I I used to joke but I I once had a a guy was coming to me collecting for teduka uh I still lived in New York and he came to collect from teduka from a and he came into my house and he started talking about am and he was talking about wow needs to have such a strong am can help him in any mive and any so I asked the guy jokingly I asked him so so you think that a poor person who is poor for many many years already like in one Split Second can help him he says yes of course can help him and he's going to get out of his anas so I I asked him do you believe that a Jew has to feel that it will actually happen for him he says of course of course you're a poor person you should believe every minute B can help you in this minute and you should not be a and you should be able to support your own family you know he kept talking whole missa okay so I said you know I agree with you and I'm with you on the same page but I want to ask you a question you're here in America to collect money when did you book your ticket he says um about three months ago I saw that uh the tickets are relatively cheap so I booked the ticket I knew that I want to come collect in three months I asked him why in the world did you book your ticket if you really believe that hashm can help you every day three months in advance how do you know you're still going to have to collect how did you know that you're going to be in three months ago I don't understand that's why I asked them and you know we were joking back and forth and I don't know where the coners I don't remember where the conversation went but what I do remember is that I you know it was perfectly in line with what we're talking and again I agree with you some people uh it it makes them heartbroken but for the right person sometimes all they need is this message don't give up and this is going to be the thing that's going to click with them how many times I think thousand of times forever you should always try and not only that as we discussed in the episode where we discussed that you have so much more experience now than you had when you tried unless you're really a loser I mean I I don't know anybody who doesn't have the the K and sometimes it's therapy that you need to to be able to clean up some old messes that stands in the way but I have no doubt in my mind everybody can succeed some people can't succeed because the makes them having limiting belie that's how the gives them the recipe of not succeeding but now that you're hearing this message maybe decided you know what let's make yanle succeed again because the way I'm going to do it is by having him listen to this message but uh and I ask forgiveness for anybody who feels that I take away their excuses because that's exactly what I'm doing because there is there are no no excuses no I think what you're saying is fantastic and I and it resonates I you know as a matter of fact the Tyra set such a precedent the other were all fantastically wealthy people sorry they all they all became very wealthy people so clearly theum is setting out in the in part of our M that that is something that we can be comfortable with obviously we have to be responsible and we have to be we have to treat gmas with the same Ras perspective as we do ras itself that's a given but there's nothing wrong with you know and and as a matter of fact if if used properly the gave us gmas it's there to also use as a means to be I just just jump in just a second if you think about it you're talking about the not only did they have wealth look how many challenges they had before they exactly 100% that's why I'm saying you know I I think the terrorist set a precedent that this is something we all it's all the teror doesn't say things that are not applicable to us if the ti is setting this as you know who the O are and who and and that we all have the ability to become like the O then in all aspects we have that ability so I think it's fantastic what you're saying let me ask you though and I just I just need to get clarity on this I think everybody who's listening needs to get clarity are you suggesting that everybody has the potential to become as wealthy as an Elon Musk or as a Jeff Bezos is that the type of success that we're aiming for I mean what does it mean you use the word success I I just think it's important that we all hear from you what that means and my second question I want to ask you is when we're aiming to achieve this success and we follow the moral of the story with the furniture does that mean we should all now go out and buy ourselves a Rolls-Royce or a Bentley and just because I put myself in that kind of debt now I know that I'm going to have to work hard to to pay it off is that what you're saying or I just would like a bit more clarity I think everyone's listening would like a bit more clarity as we move forward to to just understand the parameters 100% I'm so glad you're bringing this up and it's absolutely not what I meant I'm not talking about wealth becoming a millionaire a billionaire a gazillionaire that's not my point every person listening to this has a different definition of success I have my definition for Success you have your definition of success and everybody has for some people it's wealth for some people is a comfortable life to be able to cover their expenses for some people it's having a certain type of a house for some people it's a certain type of family for some people it's certain type of business certain type of occup for everybody it means something else now whatever the has putting in your brain that it should mean for you that's what you have to go for because that's what gave you the an idea what you should be aiming for now some people who tried many things and it didn't work out I bet that many of the things they tried is because they tried to be somebody else they didn't try to be what they really were meant and put on this Earth to do they try to copy somebody like you just mentioned ilam musk wow I get so inspired ilam musk became the richest man in the world I can also do it let me go for it and then you flap because this is not what you meant to do and this is not what you you're trying to copy somebody for somebody who really has his own definition of success and he knows it's him not influenced by others because it's so hard it's so hard you get you D in a certain Shool you go to a certain type of s you're sitting with with your family you're sitting with certain type of friends and then you get influenced and then you think oh I tried and I didn't get it of course you didn't get it because you tried to Del live somebody else's life wow that that that that's a really such an crucial crucial Clarity that you you just made and uh I think everyone who's listening is going to appreciate that yeah I tell you one more thing I I think I once heard from Jim Ron Jim Ron is one of the first uh motivational speakers he said that you are an average of your five closest people to you so that means if I want to know who you are you don't have to tell me anything about you just tell me who your five closest people are and I'm going to know who you are are so sometimes people have a certain type of life a certain type of success or a lack of success and it's not their fault it's just because the five closest people to them could be your wife could be your parents you could you could have a tremendous relationship with your parents but you don't have to discuss with your parents money if that's not their strong point if you want to be financially successful and every time you speak to your father he he puts you back into a poor mindset okay you can keep speaking to him about about everything else but when it comes to money get different friends everybody should focus the people around them that have the certain level of success where they want to be otherwise it's poison I think that's such a crucial point and if I could just ask if you would agree that to the recommendation that part of this process of developing Financial stability is spending some time on really getting to know yourself is spending some time doing some self-reflection and really clarifying what are your core values you know really what do you value in life what do you want to gain out of having money just as important as spending time on creating the budget and everything else that's Financial but youve said this before this is a lifestyle change it's not just about creating a budget it's about you know finances is really a reflection of you know your your life in general and therefore tell me if I'm wrong but it sounds to me like it would be worthwhile to recommend to people that everyone needs to spend some time just get to know ourselves and and and do some self-reflection and make sure that our financial goals are aligned with our life goals 100% I tell you even more most people never spend even a minute in the day by themselves they're always surrounded with others they go to a Sim they can't go because before they make a phone call to the friend when are you arriving let's go in together it's it's human nature we like to be surrounded with others with good friends with good people it's a beautiful thing but because of that we spend so little time with ourselves so if a person can make it his business calls this as some certain cultures there is meditation you you but but whatever you call it you spend time with yourself and you really try to tune into to yourself who am I and and try to think about your activities during the day what is it that when I do I love it I look forward I can tell you that when I sit down and I write I only figured it out a few months ago it's so interesting because I wrote my first book back like five six years ago I hired The Ghost Writer and and now I'm writing my books myself my EMS myself and I have some help with AI I'll admit but still I love it I'm sitting down to write I need so much discipline to get myself to write but only to sit down once I sit down I can't get up I love it I keep writing and and and the more I write the more value comes out the more good content comes out and and sometimes I think that when I sit down what am I going to write today but I made it my business because I know it's important I know it's my passion and I know that everything I write down is going to be L doas whatever I tell somebody I spend the phone call with somebody it's going to be like maybe I help somebody but that's it but if I write it I can help thousands of people including my grandchildren including my great great great great great great grandchildren they GNA see oh wow we had a zaa his name was K Xin and look what he wrote It's Gonna help them they're gonna feel good they're gonna feel proud I like the idea and then it stuff comes out that's why when I look back I hired the Ghost Rider back then because I thought I'm not a writer I didn't know I am a writer my point is that so many times we don't know our qualities our capabilities our passion our personality just because we don't spend enough time with us I'm going back to your first question by what point should the person give up you know if I would have given up on writing I would not write myself so I think I write pretty good stuff I have not written it because I didn't know that and it took me I don't know for I'm I'm in the workplace no probably 25 plus years and never occurred to me you know maybe one day I'm going to be a singer I'm going to find out I don't know be ready for surprises because if you really tune in to yourself I'm talking about really really it's worth for you to have every day an hour of self-reflection of meditation this vo you know what be just be with yourself and Hashem that's it do it for many many years because maybe after many years you're GNA find that wow okay and if I could also just point out you know not everyone has got many many years when they're facing making changes in their careers or within their lifestyle of their home there are assessments and there are people who know how to administer these assessments and people who really know how to Kickstart this process by no means am I suggesting that the assessment replaces hbus or replaces self-reflection but there are tools out there that helps Kickstart the process and there are people out there who know how to you know to really kind kind of facilitate that process uh so I would just suggest if you agree to the listeners that are people to seek out that can help move this along at least for the short term like you said like I said and like you said nothing replaces true honest self-reflection there are ways to kind of Kickstart the process and get things moving along yes and I I know that you are an expert in this and you are one of the people who do such things and I think if somebody's interested it could be very worthwhile to have a meeting Witham um and we were talking also I mean I don't have any information yet we were talking about maybe we'll do a program together to help people really it's coming coming coming soon it's coming soon yeah but I'll tell you even after you do this process you do the self assessment even if you you know you know everything that you have to know about yourself sometimes people are in a prison of comfort because it's so comfortable where they are some people would rather want to be able to tell you I don't know than to tell you I'm lazy or I don't have Gods so after after you already know the most you can know about yourself you still need to be very intentional and of course you to be responsible you know you have a family you have to support your family you don't you don't just go from one minute to the other I leave my income behind and I go because XT and SCH Freeman had a good podcast doesn't work like this but at least be intentional think about it every day because I write in my book that the second that you find your real passion I can really honestly consider did it you found a fortune and not a fortune because you're going to be happy I'm talking about a fortune and the the literate meaning of a fortune because you have unlimited potential once you find your passion fantastic okay I I think U you've addressed my questions and concerns I think it's time to move forward let's see what else you have to say I didn't think the conversation is going to be uh that long about it so I think I wanted to address a question that somebody send in I think I'll leave it next week's episode in the meantime anything else you wanted to add for this episode I just felt that this was really important to get this Clarity I think you know you've laid out a lot of fundamental ideas and you know I just wanted for my own personal sake and I think for everyone who's listening to get some clarity to make sure that we're on the same page and we understand the parameters you know what what I think it's a contributor to Albert uh Einstein that the definition of insanity I believe it's doing doing doing the same thing all over right that's right right right right right that's different result okay now let me ask you a question you really expect that the same things you did for the last how many who knows how many years and it didn't work is going to get you to where you want to get I mean do I really think things are going to change I'm say not saying you I'm talking you The Listener does The Listener really believe that whatever they did in the last few years and it didn't work you know you started with a question somebody tried so many times it didn't work you really believe that the same idea the same activity the same strategy will take you to where you want to go so if you believe so according to Einstein you this is this is insanity so you need a different strategy what is the different strategy that you need I think the first strategy you need is to sit down with a notebook and write down everything you tried and then start writing down why the different things didn't work I promise you you're going to come up with some amazing answers amazing ideas including persistence maybe you were not persistence persistent enough I can tell you by myself about myself different things that I started to do over the years and I and it didn't succeed with me and I admit 100% that the reason it didn't s didn't succeed is because of the lack of persistence I know it 100% I'm looking back now so many people who did the same exact thing that I did but they were persistent and they succeeded but I didn't succeed because I gave up too quickly and I have no doubt that most people who try you know a lot of people didn't even try anything so for them it's very clear just start trying something but for anybody who tried something who tried many things and it didn't work I can tell you most probably the number one uh reason was assistance and then try to think about decision making you know how many people are so afraid of making a decision they can't make a decision because maybe they're going to be wrong you know who is never wrong somebody who never makes a decision so you make decisions sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't work out of a 100 things that you try maybe five things will stick and you're going to succeed with it and and that's going to be the thing that's going to take you to where you know to Dreamland where you want to be so Napoleon Hill has a book Think and Grow Rich I'm sure you read it and I'm sure a lot of people read read it and he has a whole chapter on decision you know B practor told me for 40 days I don't know where he took the 40 days from maybe somewhere in Judaism but for 40 days I want you to read out loud every day the chapter on decision and think and grow it I know it by heart chapter on decision and I know some a lot of people including myself sometimes and you know many many years going back it was it was more than once and probably most of the time that I was afraid to make decisions and didn't make decisions now I tell you again sh before we finish this I want to say again because it's so important to ingrain it especially when we talk to Orthodox Jews it's so important the path of least resistance for us is to say it's this is what the wants so now I have every excuse uh or permission in the world to give up it's know what do you want blah blah blah you know but it's it's not true it's not true of course it's bash but it's Bash also that when the wants to give you it gives it to you this way by igniting you sending some to ignite you put some fire under your chair and help you jump out of your chair and go do something because as long as the light burns you can still do something and this is what wants from you not to sit back and relax and don't don't accomplish anything because it's bash right do we have one more moment yeah yeah sure so I'll share with you just a thought on what you're saying which I think fit that's very nicely into what you're getting at we like we have such a gift we have such a Matana being yidden that we're in an environment in an a culture that really provides all the strength and theic that we need you know there there was a study that was done a few decades ago not well known uh maybe in the the psychology world but it is so relevant to this discussion inish kite there was there's studies done in what traits does a person need in the background to really be able to fuel all the things you're mentioning persistence and and drive and passion what what are the traits that a person needs to really focus on in order to be able to do that in aad manner so there's an acronym for the the hero acronym hero stands for Hope efficacy which is self-confidence R is resilience and O is optimism that was studied and proven that those four traits are traits that if a person focuses on developing them internally everything else that you're mentioning is an outcome of that yish kite is all about developing those four traits you know just look at look at you know it's all about hope there's selfconfidence I mean you know what what the ter is only about self-confidence resilience I mean our entire history we're only here today talking because Kell is a resilient people and optimism you know we we're always looking at everything we know is at the end of the day good from we're in an environment in a culture that we're surrounded by this if we just tap into these resources I think what you're recommending we are so far ahead of the game because the tools are right there we just have to appreciate and tap into them we have such a Matana being yidden and being part of this culture we're so far ahead of the game that's all I wanted to say to just kind of into what you're saying very well said you know I once he fromberg from he said that he loves to deal with from people rather with balacha he was you know making a lot of balacha and he said I love to deal with the with the ffb with the F from bir people because these people 90% is good I just have to give them 10% the problem is I have to give them the first 10 but once I give them the first 10 off they go so it's the same thing as you said you know they have everything it takes they just just have to give them the foundation and off they go and finish that's it yeah I just want to add one more thing that people sometimes get disappointed I speak and nobody challenges me so I can speak and they think on the on the phone or on on YouTube or on the podcast whatever they listen to it and they you know I would want to ask I'm now this how do you say this it's so such a gift for me that I have somebody like you challenging this way we can we can we can go back and forth and we can really really come out clear on the subject by so this is going to be the end for today and see you next week looking forward for your will [Music]