Hashem is in the Fries | Living with Emunah #374

Okay, good morning. Welcome back to Living with Amuna. Once again, we are not in our usual location. I like our other location much better. >> I feel like down and connected to the people. >> I like it better. But we're still here. It's still Yeshiva weeks. Not week. Yeshiva weeks. And we are here to live with Amuna together. So, we let the men sneak in, sit on the side for living with Amuna, ordinarily a woman. Want to begin as we always do with an attitude of gratitude and thank our generous sponsors our series sponsors Avi and Bella Morgan in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chancer and in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbat and generously sponsored in memory of the 30 fallen soldiers and alumni of Ben David Mkini and this week highlighting Major Eli Abraham Abidpole who was 36 years old of Moshav Dotan Hashem Yikum Demo deputy company commander and reserve battalion fell in southern Lebanon in October 2024 after serving 250 days. A married father of four, he was an exceptional human being. He donated a kidney to a stranger and his wife Tal served for years as surrogate parents to atrisisk youth. He survived by his parents Kay and Morai. His wife Tal, their four children and his four siblings and we uh learn in his memory and express our gratitude. Today's shar is sponsored anonymously with gratitude to the amunes and by Melissa and Jaen Lisa and Narin and Andrew Keen in commemoration of their mother Helen Klein's third year site in Aliyah by Hannah Alu in memory of her brother Alan Wilder Aramak who loved learning by friends of Adam and Ariana in memory of Dr. Robin Goldman Rabbas Syakov on her 10th year site and a memory of Pesak David ben Aram a beloved father grandfather and role model on his sixth year site from his fifer children and grandchildren. May all their namos have a aliyah. Okay, we are going to begin as we always do with some fantastic emails and correspondents. Each one is advorhra. We're not delaying or avoiding the Torah as we read the emails. The emails themselves are advrah and an inspiration, a reminder to not only learn amuna but to live amuna because this year is not called learning amuna. This year is called living with amuna because we are taking the amuna and we are growing. We are implementing. We are actualizing. We're not just studying theoretical abstract concepts, proof and evidence. Is there a god? Does he exist? What's the proof? No, we're taking the amuna. are implementing it. And these emails are all authored by amazing, sincere, beautiful people who took the time to share how they felt that wink, that hug from Hashem, how they were able to not just learn about amuna, but live amuna. Rabbi Goldberg, thank you for the weekly sh amuna. I only discovered them recently, but they've already had a real impact on me. I discussed meeting you a while ago, so and so. This past year, I spent time in Otisville. Now, Otisville is not a place you go for on vacation. Otisville is a prison. It's a prison in upstate New York that is known for white collar crime and a lot of Jewish inmates and a lot of observant Jewish inmates. I believe there are regular minyanim and dafomi and kosher food. So, this author of this email says, "This past year, they spent time in Odisville. I'm out now and working hard to do real chuva and make lasting changes in my life. While I was inside, a group of inmates asked me to teach a daily class. We chose Kova Salavos, a safer I had never properly learned before, especially as a boy that learned that and he named his yeshivas. The group could not have been more diverse. Satan, yes, modern, secular, young and old, religious and not. What struck me most was how deeply everyone spoke about amuna, yet often in a way that felt more like a creed than a responsibility, as if believing alone would bring redemption. What I first came to feel very strongly is that real amuna must come together with accountability. Your shim is not only fear of hashem. It is also seeing hashem in our lives moment to moment. And that awareness demands honesty, responsibility and change. Without that amuna can come quietly can quietly become an escape instead of a foundation. His past was sitting next to someone I barely know. Out of nowhere I find that since I've been very honest about my situation, people open up more about theirs. He told me he doesn't connect to shools but that he believes deeply in God. He then shared that after losing everything financially what saved him was learning. He asked me to start a class and even offered to sponsor it. I was honestly shaken. It felt like a clear reminder of the message from Hashem to keep learning with others and how involved Hashem truly is in every step especially when we try to move forward sincerely. I want to say thank you. This year articulates something I've lived I've lived very personally and when is not a passive comfort but the core of how we live choose and take responsibility especially after failure but also in redemption. I found it to be a very powerful email from somebody who says not I have such amuna that even while I was there I was meant to be there and I was there for a reason and now I'm out and now I'm redeemed but he associates amuna with responsibility with accountability that amuna can't ever become a copout amuna can't ever become cover is not a way that we sherk responsibility or that we take inaction is supposed to inspire us and motivate us to feel Hashem's presence but also therefore a sense of mission and a deep and profound sense of responsibility. And I think this is also in our para when the Jewish people are stuck between a rock and a hard place, the sea in front of them and the Egyptians and pursuit again behind them and they're not sure what to do and they do exactly what you'd think that Moshe would give them five stars on their chart. You think that Moshe would give them a huge round of applause? They start domining. After all, the slave nation who were subservient and oppressed by parro and Egypt have in a short time come to learn and love Hashem and in a time of crisis do exactly what you would think they should do, which is davim. And Hashem through Moshe tells them, "Hey, what are you doing? Close the sitter. Close the tailum and start walking." and start walking because amuna doesn't become an excuse or a copout or the ability to sit on the couch and wait for a miracle from above. Close the sitter, close the tahelum and open the pages to look for a job. Close the sitter, close the tahelum and call the shiman. Close the sitter, close the tahillum and take a difficult but cold hard look at your life and say, "What do I have to take responsibility? How did I end up here? What mistakes did I make? How can I ensure I never make them again and use my story to help other people? The message Hashem through Moshe was telling the people was yes, I'm here and yes, the successful outcome only comes because of my involvement. Of course, you have to let go and let God and you have to invite and welcome me in and recognize that I'm a partner in all your success. But you have to be the partner. You have to take your action. You have to do your part. every year paral which includes the sheir or the song and includes the para sal. So people read the para and they say I'm guaranteed a good income. I'll make my livelihood as long as I read the para. I'm all for reading paran. I'm all for reading if that's your thing. I'm all for putting a key in if that's your thing. I'm all for all of these things only when they increase amuna only when they contribute to the recognition not that some shortcut or some form of sorcery or some superstition only when you recognize that all of it is meant to lead to the almighty he's in charge he's in control and this reminds me that he holds the key to my livelihood he holds the key to my success so I put in the to remind me that man fell from heaven and so too my customers my clients my portfolio my income my net worth it will all like m fall from shayan but only when I do my work only when I make my effort only when I take my initiative read the paran and of course read the paran and remember the man falls from heaven and that motivates me that while I'm at work and before I go into my next meeting or try to get my next client or take out my next ad that I say help me. Help me be successful because you're in charge. You're in control. It's not a copout. You're not going to get better if you don't take your medicine, go to the doctor, and do your therapy, but you sit on the couch saying, "Hashem, make a miracle." It's a complicated Ramban who thinks that if you're on a high enough level, that will work. But if you're not, and I would venture to say most of us, if not all of us are not, then Hashem says, "Yeah, you got to go to the doctor, take your medicine. I've allowed breakthrough in medicine and science and understanding to help you recover and get better. You've got to get a job and then you'll make parnasa and of course davin to me for the right job and for success at the job and for clients and customers in the job. But we can't allow amuna as the author of this email says to become a copout. It's seeing hashem in our moments demands honesty, responsibility and change. Without that amuna can quietly become an escape instead of a foundation. Amuna is not I can't deal with it. I have such anxiety. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't want to do anything. I know. I'll just take this shot called amuna. I'll just swallow this pill called amuna and then I have license to not have to think about it. Then I can let go and I fall and surrender into God's hands and I don't have to do anything and whenever it happens it'll just be on him. That's not authentic amuna. That's counterfeit. That's fraudulent. That's fake. Real amuna is responsibility, accountability, initiative, effort. And now whatever the outcome is after all of that, that's what's up to Hashem. That's what's up to Hashem. But you can't sit at home on your couch and think anyone's gonna knock on your door and drop off a brown paper bag filled with cash. That's not what Param is going to bring. That's not our faith. That's not our God. That's not our religion. That's not our belief. That's not what it's all about. It's about taking that responsibility and admire him after his experience for doing exactly that. Dearb go my husband and I live in today. We went to rent a car so we could head up north for Shabas, hoping to pick it up during my husband's bayam and leave right after seder. As is the norm, we were running late and slightly stressed. In the taxi, we ded that we not get the same rental agent from last time, the one who took a full hour to figure things out. Naturally, when we arrived, he was the only person available. As he worked very slowly, my husband and I kept looking at each other saying, "We're exactly where we're meant to be." But actually went much faster than expected, and we crossed the street in good spirits to the other office to pick up the car. That's when the moment happened. I started chatting with the man behind the desk and bar. Everything is great. He wasn't wearing a keepa, but he pointed behind him to the doorway where there was a small plaque right under the muza that said, "Say, I love you, Hashem." I honestly froze. I had just been listening to your shar about putting a sign like that under the muza to remind ourselves of Hashem's love the moment we walked through a door. And suddenly there it was in the most random place unimaginable, a rental car office. I truly couldn't believe my eyes. I got so excited. I told him, "I listen to Rabbi Goldberg's munum." And he was just talking about it and he looked at me completely blank and said, "I have no idea what you're talking about." My boss put up that sign. My husband and I just burst out laughing. In that moment, I felt the biggest, clearest hug from Hashem, saying, "I'm right here." I'll admit, keeping my cool was harder later when my husband made a wrong turn that added 20 minutes of standstill traffic to our already long ride. But even then, I knew Hashem loves me and I love him, too. I'm thankful for the Shir. They inspired off my spirits to keep me going. Especially in moments like this when Hashem's messages feel so personal and so clear. I attached a picture of the muza plaque. You can see the exact moment I'm talking about. And there it is. Because first we had our Psalm 23 sightings. Now we have our muza plaque sightings and and we can have it because we can all put it up under our muza. I love you, Hashem. Dear Rebi, my name is such and such. I've been listening to your minister for the past year or so. They're truly amazing. Two things to share. Number one, earlier this year was one of my first weeks being of the year and I found myself in an unfamiliar place for Shabas. During Friday night ding, I miss saying and the moment I was a little bogged down. I didn't know if I'd had the courage to go up to someone and ask them to say it with me. At the end of ding Friday night, we say which is a description of God as a creator of heaven and earth. Shabas is a commemoration of creation just like God created six days rested on the seventh. We imitate and we imitate and emulate him and we commemorate that by testifying to him as creator. And there is a custom some have to not say it alone. Testimony is always said in pairs takes two witnesses. So two witnesses say together and some have the custom therefore of when you're up to it with the and you say it all together as but if you were still dominant the when they started and you missed it you find someone else and you say will you say with me happens to be the and others don't like it. They say it's not testimony. You don't need two people. How do you know that? When are you saying it? At night. And there is no at night. There is no testimony in at night. So it doesn't really mean testimony. It doesn't have to be in two. But there is a custom. And he had that custom. And he was looking for a second person. But he didn't have the courage. He was shy. And he just started. As David was coming to an end, I realized something different. The M started saying to Hilim. Little did I know this was the minute of that sh Friday night to say Psalm 23. put a smile on my face because in the moment all I could think of was the amunachir and it reminded me that everything was from Hashem. Two minutes later, I was walking out of sh a stranger said, "Could you say vulu with me?" Wow. Number two, I don't remember which rabbi this was quoted from. One of my friends told me that it's never a coincidence. It's a ca incidence. CA is the name of Hashem Yud. And hey, that we pronounce ka. It's not a coincidence. It's a ca incidence. It's always pops into my head to shim. So, I thought I would share. Thank you for that. Hi, Rabbi Goldber. Every week as I've been listening to Sherman, hearing about the Psalm 23 sightings, I always get excited because it's also the peric I connect to very much. Not because of the words necessarily, though that's something I'm working on connecting to more because my birthday is June 23rd. Although, as I always say, that's a Gregorian secular birthday. We have to follow the Jewish Hebrew calendar. That's our calendar. Those are our birthdays. Anyway, I've always had my jersey numbers when I play sports to be 23. That's also Michael Jordan and LeBron James, although we shouldn't put them in the same sentence. One is the goat and the other is a imitation. While it's exciting to have my Gregorian birthday on that day, what's even more exciting is that my Hebrew birthday is so here this holy his English Gregorian birthday is the 23rd and his Hebrew birthday is the 23rd. So I get my double whammy and get to have both my birthdays on the 23rd and I'll have to thank my dad for my Hebrew birthday being what it is since my mother went into the hospital in labor. My father told the doctor I need to be born before sundown. Obviously confused, the doctor asked why. My father explained it was the anniversary of his grandfather's death and he wanted to be to be born that day. Another cool piece about if you check out Migillas Esther chapter 8 n it is also the day scribes were brought to write Morai's letter to all the Jews of the nation that they have the king's approval to fight back. So yes, it's always nice to have Psalm 23, but I'm grateful to be continuously reminded of it every day that I live. Thank you for the Shir. It's always been getting me through my day as I navigate my new life in Israel post aliyah. In a recent sh you spoke about strengthening amuna before you actually need it to work out the muscles so you're strong when you need it. I told you the story of the person saved his life when he had the heart attack. He had already been working out because of the happy clappy menu. I'm so grateful I started listening two years ago because now I'm able to tap into the challenges that are thrown my way. I saved the kind words for the end so you wouldn't skip them. Shabbat shalom. And then a follow-up email immediately. And I realized today is also January 23rd and I sent the email at 10:23. So 23 everywhere. 23 all around. 23 everywhere. Okay. So many we could spend our entire year. And it's so hard to choose which ones to read. I'm a new I'm new to listening to living with Amuna. Last week, I decided to go to the JCC to run on the treadmill. While exercising, I was listening to this year. While you were reading the dollar amount on the cash register receipt, the time counter on my treadmill hit 23 minutes. Exactly. Exactly. As we said, 23. People are finding 23 everywhere. This year is brought to you by the number 23. How crazy was that? I look forward to listening to your inspiring words. Be able to see Yashem even more clearly and a beautiful email. 23 minutes. Also, a little bit of a flex. 23 minutes on the treadmill straight. 23 minutes even. Amazing. Beautiful by the wife of the bar mitzvah teacher. Okay, beautiful. Next. Oh, so many good ones. I have a whole book just in the last week. Okay, here's another one from an amazing listener. Dear Ra Goldberg, I hope this message finds you well. First, I want to thank you for all that you do for the community and the world. I want to share an inspiring story that recently took place in my life. I was pregnant with twin girls and while I had a name in mind for one of them, I was struggling to find the perfect name for the other. I truly loved a particular name, but my husband was hesitant, concerned it might not be wellreceived in our community. After speaking to my husband about the name, we decided to wait and think about it. Later on the same day, my husband was listening to a shear by one of his favorite rabbanim who might be coming the shabas to BRS. And suddenly, the RV, seemingly out of nowhere, mentioned the name in question. The Rev laid out a beautiful explanation for the name and confirmed it was indeed a common name within our shared community. Hearing that, my husband was reassured to ultimately embrace the name. It was truly a moment of aka since we were initially hesitant about committing to the name and along came the shear at the perfect time and incredible, beautiful, adorable little twins, one of which carries that name. Okay, next. [clears throat] I don't know. How do I do this? How do I choose? Today, nine is my brother Zerite. He was 16 when he passed away 47 years ago. His name was JJ. Our last name begins with a G. Avoidance to shutting down was my way was my go-to way of handling the loss. Took a long time before I could regularly visit his grave. A short drive from my house, but I eventually achieved it. Few years ago, we moved to Florida and visiting my brother regularly was no longer an option. 14 months ago, I traveled back to care for my mother and end up staying for seven months. I visited my brother and I was there for his zerotite. His zerite fell on a Friday. I went to the kev first thing in the morning. Doin cried and put a rock on the headstone. I turned to leave and spontaneously inexplicably I turned back to the kev and cried out loud. I haven't seen you in such a long time. Can't you come visit me? My father Allah shalam had come to me in a dream more than once. And I was thinking and hoping my brother would do the same. An hour after leaving my brother, having completed some shabas errands, I found myself sitting in traffic. I looked at the car in front of me and noticed the license plate. Oh my gosh. I was completely shocked. The plate read JJ, my brother's initials, and the number was 9205. My man be my mind began racing to see if it had significance. I added up 9205 16. The plate read JJ16. Now I began again to cry, this time in gratitude. Thank you, Hashem. Thank you, Hashem. You heard me. You answered me. My brother was able to say hello. How lucky I am. You can well imagine I chased the poor driver down until I could get a clear picture of the license plate. And here is a copy for those who don't believe of a clear picture of somewhere in this pile. The license plate JJ. So again, each of these stories are meant to tell us you could live life. These are random and coincident coincidences or coincidences and even a license plate is telling us a message. Hugs and winks from Hashem. Whether watching the right cheer at the right moment to hear the right thing to reassure you or seeing the right message on a treadmill or seeing the right message on a license plate, Hashem is talking to us all day long. Is our antenna extended? Are we picking up the signal? Are we hearing the message? Are we feeling and embracing the hug from Hashem? That is the only question. That is the only question I want to share with you about the story that happened to us in the last hour. My husband was meant to fly out from Israel to show in New Jersey tomorrow morning. With all the uncertainty about imminent war, closing airspaces, getting stuck in this evening, we canceled his flight. Three minutes later, our daughter posted on our family chat. The army called her husband. Told him he has to be down south 10 a.m. tomorrow morning. Tav Shmona. Hashem didn't leave us too long with uncertainty as to whether we made the right decision for canceling my husband's flight. They believe he'll be in Gaza for a few days looking for the last hostage. This was right before. Thank God he was found. Our daughter sent the following message to the family. I want to share with you. My husband was just called up for he has the to defend Israel. This is their daughter's message after he was called up after having served countless times. He has the to defend Israel. Destroy our enemies and bring home our last holy precious hostage. Please have him in your so he should be a non messenger of Hashem to be part of the most holy army and that should come home healthy and quickly after a successful mission. That was her amuna moment of perspective why her husband canceled his fight so he'd be home to help with the grandchildren. how her daughter had this incredible incredible not only the holy soldiers who've been fighting but how about their wives heroes we used to call heroins in their own right in their own right for their sacrifice and selflessness for their mysterious nephish and perspective and for the mission that was fulfilled and accomplished in its own miraculous fashion because apparently there were 20 dentists examining bodies throughout a cemetery. They had gone through 249 and he was the 250th and his name is Ron Run which is the numerical value of 250 and that was the final and he was brought back and if you haven't yet watch the eulogies at the funeral that took place today. You want to see the strength, the courage of the Jewish people, it's worth watching. It's worth watching and it's worth seeing. Okay, let's get back into our text. Okay, one more. One more because we're on this topic of our holy precious soldiers. Dear Goldberg, an update in Amuna story. A while ago, I wrote about my son who suffered from PTSD from the Gaza war. You may remember I read that email and how painful it was for us to watch him struggle. I want to share an update. Three weeks ago, Barashi got married. I was scared and unsure if it was the right step. I tried to have a keep going, even though my fear and anxiety took over. Barashem is doing so much better. He's happier. He talks more. He shares more. Slowly, slowly, we're beginning to see the old his name coming back. He has started talking about his future, about what he wants to do professionally, which school he wants to attend. I'm so grateful. Looking back, I see that if I had trusted Hashem more, I probably would have saved myself so much worry. I'm sharing this not only to share the pain, but also to share the joy. And now for my amuna story. Every week I listen to this year and hear all the emails you read, people sharing their amuna and their winks from Hashem. And I keep thinking, what's wrong with me? Why don't I see anything? Why isn't he winking at me? I used to see Hashem everywhere in the small details of daily life. I had so many stories, but over the last few years, it felt like there was a block. I tried to stay aware to keep my eyes open, but my heart felt very heavy. I missed that feeling so much. Few days ago, I decided to go to the hotel. I went to Davin to connect because I felt out of touch, disconnected, and a little alone. I dab in for my children, for myself, and for everything going on around us. I'm supposed to travel this week with my husband, and with all the uncertainty in Israel, I've been feeling very nervous. The trip is important, but I've been uneasy about leaving. I kept telling myself, "Embrace your place. You're exactly where you're meant to be. If it's not meant to happen, it won't. And if it is, then it is it is okay." Still, the nerves were there. This morning, I said to myself, I hadn't done it properly in a long time, and I wanted to start saying again. I also decided I wanted to take a sitter with me on the trip. So, I opened the cabinet where I kept my sedurum. As I was looking through them, two sided suddenly fell to the floor. I bent down to pick them up and a small card with the lababacherba slipped out and landed beside them. On the card were the words, "Have a good trip." I looked up and said, "Thank you, Hashem." That was it. My wink. I felt instantly calm. I knew everything would be okay. I'm so grateful for that, for that quiet, loving reminder that he's with me. She got her wink that she deserves. Sitter fell out. a card fell out nervous about a trip with the Reb telling her when we're reading it together on have a safe trip. The messages are all around us. They're all around us. So, be a warrior, not a worrier. I told you about the new pillow I got in my office on my couch. I look at it every day when I'm at my desk doing work or meeting with people. Be a warrior, not a worrier. And Hashem is sending us that hug and he's pushing our back forward and he has his arm around us. And if we extend that antenna, we'll pick up the messages. Sometimes they're little, they're subtle, they're nuanced, they're hard to find. And other times they're explicit. The book falls off the shelf with a card and a note and it's explicit. But either way, we've got to be looking for it and we'll find it. And many have to this week. Some of you might still be stuck. Very little sympathy for you because there's a lot worse places to be stuck than the free sunny state of Florida coming to Amunashir in person. But there are people had all kinds of other plans and they came for a few days and because of the weather, the extreme weather in most of the country that deposited and dumped insane amount of snow, people's flights rearranged. And you could have dealt with that and handled that. You could have become resentful and bitter and frazzled and upside down and I got to get back to work and my kids got to get back to school and I got to get back. Or you could have said, "This is an adventure. I'm along for the ride. whatever it will be. And I am where I'm meant to be. And what am I meant to do while I'm here? What's next? Vacation more, go to more shurimum, volunteer, make new friends, visit people. I find myself where I am. And what's my mission in that place? Not how do I desperately try to escape? Sometimes, yes, I want to get out of rehab, get out of the hospital, get out of Otisville, get out of wherever one finds themselves when they desperately don't want to be there. But after, you can't use amuna as the excuse. They have to take initiative and make an effort and do a shadas. But after to lean in and accept I am where I'm meant to be. This is why and this is where and what is the mission and what is the message while I'm here. We said in the par yesterday I won't revisit. Yesterday someone told me why you bring the to the par I won't bring the par into the like over here. You got to be careful. You're not allowed to mix. You're not allowed to mix the shirum. I didn't know we were so strict. But in any case, in yesterday's para, Hashem takes us out of Egypt and we start to walk towards our freedom, our march and our journey towards our future. And he takes us this route. And the Torah tells us, "Hashem is leading the way." And we learned a beautiful piece by who talks about this is our belief. He's always leading our way. He is preparing our footsteps. He is leading the way. He's leading the way. Wherever we are, it's where we're meant to be. He tells us time to go, time to stop, time to turn. Wherever we find ourselves, we are his partner. We use our creativity, ingenuity, initiative, and effort to try to determine our next steps. But wherever they take us, whatever those next steps are, they're always from above. They're always from him. on the bottom page. The last idea that we learned was that we use the righteous. We use those who have incredible amuna and we use them as our hot spot. If we're struggling, if we're buffering, if we have a low-speed connection, we connect. We use a hotspot sadikim. And then we can attach our needs, attach our ride their coattails. Turn the page now on the top of that when we couch and present our physical material needs in the context of spiritual holiness, we're more likely to be answered. It's we've shared this the last few weeks. You've been learning this, but I want to reiterate and I want to reinforce this idea. All of us, we come before Hashem and we desperately daven for good health. Solve and heal those aches and pains, those ailments, those injuries, or even those diagnoses that are much more severe. Hashem, help us. I don't know how to pay my bills. Life is so expensive. How How will I get it all done? Hashem, help me in the relationships that feel broken. Make them whole again. Hashem, help me or someone I love find their no more loneliness. Help them. Help them with a child. A beautiful meeting with the leaders of a time yesterday. The incredible work that they do. But neb how many people how many people need them? How many calls they got last year to help counsel and give strength to those people going through primary secondary infertility? You know what that represents as a percentage of Jewish people? There's so many who feel I need you Hashem. But says quoting so many we can turn to Hashem and we can say Hashem give me a job. How many interviews? How many resumes do I have to send out? How much do I have to sit and wait and hope and think this is the one only to find out it's not? Hashem, how many how many first dates do I have to go on? How many times do I have to get all made up and think this is it? This is going to be the one only to find out it's not. that I thought this was my last stop, but it turns out I have to get back on the journey again. Hashem, help me in whatever area we're domining for. So, Hashem looks at us and he says, "I love you and you're my child and I'm inclined and I want to but give me one good reason." You know, parents sometimes say that to a child. Can I have can I go? Can you give me? And you say, "Sure, I love you and I want you to be happy, but give me a good reason. Why should I let you skip school tomorrow? Why should I let you buy that thing? order that thing online? Why should I let you order apps, desserts, and a drink? Now, they don't even ask that. They just, why should I? Why should I? So, Hashem says, why should I? Why should I? And herein, what answer will you give? What answer will you give? When Hashem says, why should I? Why should I heal your injuries and ailments? Why should I give you your spouse, your basher? Why should I Why should I give you that child that desperately want or that grandchild? Why should I bring peace into Why should I? What's the answer? What's the answer? You could say, "Because I really want it. Cuz I really need it. Please. I really like it. I really want it. All my friends have it. Everybody else is doing it. It looks so fun. Tastes so good. I really want it." Or you can say, "You know what? What do you mean? Why Hashem?" Because I want to serve you. And I can't serve you. I can't fulfill my mission. I can't be most loyal to you if I don't have it. I need my health. How can I be your agent? How can I be your ambassador? How can I be your messenger if I don't have my health and my energy and my strength and my faculties and my function? How hashem like not hashem hashem? You know why I want a child hashem? Because this world is so broken and this world is so corrupt and this world is so confused and I want to raise a child who will light the world on fire. Hashem, let me be your partner. Give me a child so I can train them and raise them and educate them and then dedicate them to bringing great light into this world to repairing and redeeming it. Hashem, don't do it for me because I really want a child. Don't do it for me because I need someone to bring me my slippers and my newspaper. I need a child to carry my name because I want a child. I want a tender sim. It's not about me. Like she wasn't about to spell alashem. She was about to spal al hashem and not for herself. She said, "Hashem, for you, for you. Hashem, give me parasa because how can I fulfill my mission and my purpose? How can I accomplish the goals that you have for me? How can I realize the dreams there are for me if I don't have an expense account? If I'm worried about a roof over my head, if I'm worried about food in my in my family's mouth, how can I be out there changing the world? How can I be your ambassador, your agent, how can I be your messenger? So, this is the secret to the secret to is to be prepared that when we ask Hashem for all those things genuinely and real and raw and turn to him and ask him from the bottom of our heart. From the bottom of our heart. I'll tell you something. I'm about to embarrass my family and myself. I'm not a cook. I'm not a chef. I've got one two meal, one go-to meal that I make special occasion. It's not a kale salad as you can imagine. It is delicious steak. I got steak and I make homemade incredible steak French fries with it. Fried onions. There's a whole meal I present. My kids are visiting. I wanted to make good by them. I did it. I heated up my oil. First of all, my kids got me an apron. Got me a beautiful a apron. Anyway, I won't tell you what it says on it. That embarrassing. I'm not going to tell you, but got me. I put on my apron. Still had my tie all the way, but I put on my apron. All my ingredients. Cleared out the kitchen. I can't have anyone interfering. I can't have anyone near me when I'm cooking. Cleared out the kitchen. I got my ingredients. I'll You got to dry the steak. Salt, pepper. You got to let it sit. I'll tell you another time how you do it, right? I heat up my oil and I was trying to be real efficient because I make a batch of regular fries and then a batch of sweet potato French fries and they're they're unbelievable. Are they the best French fries you ever eat at your life? Tomorrow. They're crunchy and delicious on the outside and soft and melt in your mouth on the inside. And they're not the little shoestring tiny at the restaurant they're trying to get away with. I'm talking about a proper thick steak fry. Proper. proper. Salted just right. Proper. Fresh. Unbelievable. Heated up the oil and this is my kids have been hearing about this meal and they're visiting and they said, "We want a shot." And this is my chance to impress them. And uh and if you don't, let's just say you hear about it. So, I heat up the oil and I had to be efficient because I had two batches. So, I cut up a lot of the exactly the right ratio and I put them all in and they're not crisping up and they're starting to stick together and they're getting mushy and I literally felt more panic than before the Shabbasha and Shabas like Russia combined. [laughter] I felt more panicked than before I spoken at Mara Laga or visited the White House combined. How am I going to present this failed French fry? How am I going to give this mushy stuck together big plate of failure flop? I'll never hear the end of it. I'll never hear the end of it. So I literally put down my utensils and I offered a toe. [laughter] I'm not exaggerating. I ded over those French fries. I said shalom. In the great scheme of things and the things that you're paying attention to, this is not the top of the list. This isn't the most important. And if you have to choose which of my tilos to give a yes to, it's not this. But but if you find room in your heart and if I have any worthiness in me, please help these French fries too much, okay? Because I'm never going to hear the end of it. My whole reputation in my family, this is it. Please, please. And that was it. Fries crisped up. I had to do a little more intervention to them. I took some of them out. I gave them some space. Turns out they need some they need to breathe. You know like a they have to be is that every letter needs to be surrounded by if two letters are touching it's ple it's because every letter is a Jew and two Jews don't compare and compete each one is its own and unique mukav each fry has to be muk with oil they can't be touching they stick together I okay I learned I learned and I'm happy to share with you another time only for those members of the bureaus global by the way maybe for the highest levels of the global. I'll even make this dinner. Maybe you got to give over a really high amount and I'll make you a big dinner. Why am I telling you this ridiculously embarrassing story and example? Ridiculously embarrassing example because I'm trying to tell you that amuna is not only about the moments of Hashem bring world peace and Hashem make enormous. It's in the everyday little moments of life. Let the French fries turn out okay. Let the dough rise. Let the cougle turn. Let the kala be just let it's the everyday life. Let the carpool go smoothly. Let the conversation go well. Let me get a good seat at the amunachir. Let the coffee hit the spot. Let the little things in life are also invitations and opportunities to Hashem. Hashem. Now, back to what we're learning. I said, "Hashem, if the French fries turn out great, it'll be a huge kittish. Hashem, if these French fries are a flop, it's aem. I've been talking all about how amazing they are and how much you empower me and if these French fries flop, it'll be a massive in my family. You have to present everything and every when Hashem says, "Why should I do that for you? Why should I give that to you? Why should I answer you in the affirmative?" The answer can't be because I want it, because I'm hungry, because everyone else has it. Please, the answer has to be for Hashem. It's an entirely different orientation on how we come to Davin. We come to Davin. We open our calendar and schedule as we spoke recently about and we look at what's on tap today and we say, "Hashem, I need your help. I have this meeting. I have this effort. I have this appointment. I have this journey and I need your help in each one." So first of all then becomes very personal, very individual. We're not just opening some sitter and reciting the same text over and over and over again. same sha same the same words the same the same three steps it's not repetitive and redundant we're not just saying the same thing again why not because every day there's a new me every day it's a new world and every day my calendar is filled with new things on it and so every day I have something new to davin about because every day there are new things that I need his help and the only way I can have success is if he indeed helps me so every day my davin is by definition different because I've inserted the personal individual things in the ways that I meet him. Hashem, I'm making a big dinner tonight. Let it come out well. Hashem, I got a big meeting together. Let it go smoothly. Hashem, I have a big whatever it is. I have a big interview coming up. I have a big date I'm going on. I have a big conversation I have to have. I have a big journey that I'm taking. Let the flight be on. Every day is different. Therefore, every day there are different things to do about. Therefore, domining never gets wrote and stale. Diving is always dynamic and exciting. I don't sit down with my spouse and say, "Why do we have to talk? We talked yesterday and we talked two days ago. We talked three days ago. Why have to talk every day? Why don't have to talk again? How was your day? My day was come on. Why do we have to keep talking? If you're in a healthy good marriage, this week's para also, you're in the minority. And if you're in a healthy good marriage, one of the things to be thankful for every day is that you're experiencing a miracle as great as the splitting of the sea, which statistically we see today. If you're in a good marriage, you don't say, "Why do I have to talk every day?" You say, "I can't wait to talk every day. I can't wait to tell you about my day." Because the day began with what's on tap today and the day ends with how did the day go? New fill me in. Tell me that meeting you were worried about, that appointment you were concerned with, that effort, that initiative, that thing you were excited to do. New how did it go? How did it go? In a healthy marriage, there's a book end. It begins with what's on tap today. It's a shared experience and also a shared dominance is also for the person who completes us, who's our other half. We want their success and their outcome, too. So every day should start with what's on tap today and every day should end with you're a lot of talk in between but every day should end with how did it go today and you never say we did this routine yesterday we did this routine last week enough with this routine can't we take a break that's that's a red flag that's a bad sign in a healthy marriage you say each and every day I want to have that conversation there's no one I want to confide or share more with than you that's what you should be looking for for those dating watching listening or here. That's what you're looking for. You're looking for someone on the other side of that table on that date who you will want to every day ask them what's on tap today and share what's untapped for you. And every day at the end of the day, share how that day went. One of the things I tell people dating is when you get a phone call from that person that you're dating, when their number comes up on the caller ID, does your heart stop? Are you so excited to take that call? Do you can't wait to hear what they have to say and you have things to share with them or you say, "Can I press ignore again? Do I have to answer this time? How often are they going to call? Do we need to talk?" That's it. Before any conversation happens, you know so much about if this is the right one just by how you feel when the caller ID comes up. The caller ID, when the call comes in and you see that number, it tells you so much already about if that person is the one for you. Do you want to say every day what's on tap and share what's on tap for you? And do you want to end every day by talking about how did it go? What happened? How did you deal? How' the person react? How did it come out? The same as with the shalom. That's what the is telling us is shalom is here's what's on top and is thank you for how it went or this didn't go exactly as I hoped. I really hope we can fix it tomorrow. But every day is that dynamic ongoing individual creative conversation with it's never stale. It's never rude. It's never old and it's never on repeat. It's always something new because we're new and our life is new. And the world is new. And what we face today, we had no idea even existed yesterday. And today we say thank you for the things that we asked for yesterday. We fail in that so often. So often. So, by the way, I tried to remember that after the fries came out, as a good friend of mine says, "Home run." I said, "Thank you, Hashem. I know that wasn't because of me. Thank you for letting the fries simple things like the fries." Last night, we had an incredible presentation. The sh was packed. Lo al- Sharif, Saudi born UAE activist for peace with Israel between Arab countries in Israel, Muslims and Jews. We had a conversation last night for last night here for over an hour which we'll share online. It was professionally recorded. He's incredible. He's very special. He is unfortunately in the tiny minority. And if we could run him through the copy machine, if we could celebrate and elevate his voice to have more of an impact on the Muslim Arab world, we would have a future and we might have a shot. So, I was concerned. Were people going to come? I met him in Abu Dhabi and we invited him to come and we believe in his message and I was nervous. Part of the goal was people come to support and encourage what he stands for and the life he lives and the risks he takes. He has almost a million followers online and he takes positions that aren't simple for him to take. And I was nervous. So I dab into Hashem. Please let people show up. Please let them come. Please let them get excited. Please let it work where we're posting it. I ded Marav after the event and I said, "Hashem, thank you so much. That was amazing. The mics worked out. The speakers worked out. The conversation flowed even though I didn't know exactly at the beginning what we were going to talk about. Thank you. We ask before please and afterwards when it works out or even if it doesn't exactly we say thank you. And how often we remember to say please and how infrequently do we remember to say afterwards thank you and I interviewed for behind the be I think it's coming out next week and she talked about as and she in her own right an incredible person and their apartment in Washington Heights is regularly visited by people who desperately need they need they need an intervention they need sta they need a braha they need fela and she was talking about how infrequently the people who came in crisis and desperation ever follow up and say thank you this is how it went I got married I had a baby I recovered and I healed I she said my husband is still domining for people who are all together but he has no idea he's still dominant for people have have a baby and they have five children because how infrequently do people follow up and say just want to let you know and thank you. So the feels that way too when we need him, when there's crisis, when we're desperate, when the fries are a big flop. There's no atheists in a kitchen. There's no atheist in an apron. Then everyone's diving hard. Let the cocoa come out. Let the rise. Let the cake uh you know, I remember the way my grandmother Alasham used to do over that sponge cake also. Nobody could talk to it or look at it. While the sponge cake had to rise and become spongy, she had a hole. She turned it upside down on top of a soda bottle. I think it was in my childhood. I vividly remember her sponge cake or sponge cake. The love, the affection. That was the precursor to sourdough. Today, everybody feeds and nourishes and loves and protects. They take out insurance on the sourdough. Hal would love their spouse as much as they love the sourdough. My grandmother Allah shalom, she loved that sponge cake upside down on the soda bottle. You can't look at it. Don't talk to it. Don't think about it otherwise it would flop. So when we're waiting for the sourdough, when we're waiting for the sponge cake, obviously much more significantly when we're waiting for health and parasa and children and then we say, "Hashem, please and I need you and where are you and you have to do we ever afterwards say thank you. Thank you." And even if that date isn't my husband or my wife, but thank you for meeting that person and I don't know where that will go and I learned something from this experience and I learned something about myself and it is a a stop on my journey and I know I was meant to go on this date and meet that person and have that conversation and learn that thing about myself or about that person and now who can I think of for them and maybe they'll think of someone for me and now they're part of my network and my life experience and thank you even Even if it's not the one, thank you for it being one of the ones on my journey. Before end, we offer our but do after the fact we say thank you. But the main point I'm trying to tell you is not my point at all. I thought we're going to finish the entire new page of which I think we got through the first line. But says every we offer should not be about me because I want to because I like it because everyone else has it. We couch every Hashem. Here's what's on tap today. And here's why. Everything I have on tap, if you help me with it, I'll be a better Hashem. If that meeting goes well, if that effort goes well, if that journey goes smoothly, then I can be a better Hashem. I can be a better. So, I'm asking for all of it, not out of ego, but out of Elo. I'm asking for it all, not for me, but for you. This is a new chapter in my book. Did you get my book? You can download it. Please God, you can you can order You could pre-order [snorts] the book. Pre-order special rate. And please God, I can't believe I'm going to say this publicly, but maybe by doing so, it'll actually get me to do it. But I hope to write it this summer. So maybe by this fall, you'll be able to actually get my book. I don't have a title. You could submit yours. Ego versus elocus. And that's one of the chapters on ego versus our whole life is determined by ego versus elocus, which is all part of the embrace your place. And we are we're meant to be. Let go, let God. Maybe embrace your place will be the title. But one of the chapters is that all of prayer is either ego or elocus. Why am I dominant? Why am I asking for these things? Is it ego? I want my need, my honor, my comfort, my convenience, my pleasure. Is it me? Is it ego or no? My entire faith and my entire lifelong ongoing conversation with you, Hashem, is not about ego. It's about elocus. It's not about me, but it's about we. It's about you in me and how we can improve and repair this world. It's not about me. It's about we. That's pretty good. I just thought of that. Okay. Somewhere copyright that quickly write that down. It's not about me. It's about so ego versus elocus. That's a chapter in the book. Every time we dab and every tila we offered from a sitter from a tahillum in shul or as significantly and many ways more authentically from our heart in the kitchen and in the carpool and in the boardroom and in the operating room when we offer that feel it's hashem help me with that thing not for me but for we want to be your loyal servant I want to be your ambassador and agent I want to be your messenger I want to pursue and fulfill my mission but I can't if I don't have the things that I'm asking and domining for it's a radical shift in the whole orientation of not only how we d but how we live and it's so filled with meaning and it's so filled with purpose and it's so filled with selflessness instead of selfishness and the whole focus on the ego and the eye and the self leads to such unhappiness and such anxiety because when I'm in charge and I'm in control and I'm responsible of the outcome I can't even get out of bed but when I have a partner it's not me but we when we're in it together and I know you're by my side and I know you're helping me and I know, however it comes out is the way it's meant to be. Now, let's go. We've got this. We're going to do this. That was the beginning of last week's para. Hashem didn't say leo, go to parro. What did Hashem say? Bo El Po. And the image is amazing. Hashem puts his arm around Moshe and puts his arm around every one of us and he says, "No, Bo. Let's go. I've got a mission for you today. I'm not sending you on it. I'm coming with you on it. Bo Al power. He puts his arm around us and he says, "Let's go." This is our mission. And I want to be very clear. Some people's mission is curing cancer and some people's mission is bringing peace to the Middle East. And some people's mission is getting to the end of the day. That's their mission. Struggling with whatever physical, mental, emotional challenge. And their mission is get to the end of today. Get to the end of today with sanity, with good health, with faith. get to the end of the day. Some person's mission is get these kids in bed safely tonight after a little time on Estie's playground, after breakfast, lunch, and dinner being fed, after nap time, get them healthy, get them whole, get them to bed. That's your mission. This stage and this mode of your our mission every day when I talk about embrace your place in our mission and our moment in life. It's not all monumental. It's not all on this side of the camera. It's not all making world peace. Our missions are micro missions and our missions are not measured by how public they are, how much influence and whether we're an influencer, how many eyeballs and followers. Our mission are broken down into micro missions. Our mission right now is make a shahak cup of coffee. And the mission right now is don't spill it on myself. And my mission right now is to not drink the coffee out of ego, but out of elusak, Hashem, it's all from you. I'll close with one more email about that because it just reminded me. Dear Rabbi, I'm a bit behind but listening to like classes on Amuna. I'm up to 128. That's a bit behind, but it's changed my life for the better. I just want to share a story with you that gave me my first step in starting my own spot him journal. I call it Kale Mistair. So, this author has a journal called Kale Muster Hidden God. And it's his spot him journal. Looking for God every day. I was doing my morning routine after domining Nates. I need to pack for the boys, eat breakfast, pack my food before heading to work. My son was having difficulty getting the word out of what he wants for a sandwich. I wanted to make what he wants, but I need to know what it is. I was getting impatient and annoyed. I saw a small bit of cake topping and I thought, "Yum." I made a braha and it hit me. Everything is from him. Even this annoying situation. In that moment, everything calmed down. I felt like all 126 led to that moment. It was the cabala that I made to make brah slowly being mindful of the meaning and including the ambiance pleasant or otherwise shak because he made a bra in that moment and he realized shak not only those who are cooperating comes from hashem even the one who's not cooperating shak it's all from hashem it's all meant for us it's all from above it's all carefully curated choreographed for us it's all from shahako Oh, you could find Hashem in monumental moments. The last hostage coming home, number 250 in that cemetery, Ron Reun, and you see Hashem and you see Hashem in the frosting of the cake Nate's pack for the boys eat breakfast. I thought he said he had a workout in there. So, I was going to wonder, did he eat the frosting after the workout? But you see, even in the frosting of the cake, even in the frosting of the cake, Hashem is in the frosting on the cake that you snuck while trying to pack breakfast with the annoying kid that helps you realize shak. It's all the ambience, the environment, the people, the things, the weather, and everything in it. For us in South Florida, it's going to feel like the 30s in the next couple days. The 30s. We didn't move to Florida for the 30s. Raining iguanas. I'm just joking D for us. But it's going to be cold and Hashem is in the cold. Hashem is in the heat in August and he's in the cold in February and he's in whatever the weather is wherever you are and however snow you have to plow or find someone else to pay to plow. Hashem is in it all. Shahak the ambiance, the environment, the weather, the people, those who are pleasant and those who are frustrating and annoying. Shak he's in it all. if you look for him and you find him and then it keeps you calm and serene and then you say what's my mission in this moment what's my mission in this moment am I acting out of ego or am I acting out of elocus and when I turn to you and I ask Hashem what's on tap today and at the end of the day thank you Hashem it's all not about my ego it's all about my elocus I want to be your best servant I want to serve you I want to fulfill my mission I want to repair and redeem your world I want to get out of myself because another chapter in the book another chapter in the book Why? That leads to a better life. Maybe the egoomaniac has a much better life. The egoomaniac has everything they want. Egoomaniac is living a life all about them. So maybe the ego narcissist has it all. Go check how that's worked out for them. How's the marriage of the ego narcissist? How is the relationship with children of the egoomaniac narcissist? How's the egoomaniac narcissist doing in business? What's his relationship with his with his colleagues, with his clients? How's the egoomaniac narcissist doing? And how is that all working out in life? How is their health and their happiness? Most importantly, how are they doing? Versus the person who can get out of themsel and care and give to others. Look at the quality and look at the meaning and looking at the purpose of that life. So life is divided into those two simple categories and it's that easy and it's that simple. And where in which column will your name appear? Ego or elocus? Is it about us or is it about being on a mission from Hashem? Am I a taker or am I a giver? Is my life about my rights and entitlements or my duties, responsibilities and obligations? Do I live every moment for what's in it for me or do I live every moment for what is my mission? And the answer to happiness and holiness is found in where I put my name in which column which tells me my whole orientation of life but also tells me how to frame my tila my prayer and how I ask everything from Hashem. We turn off the stream. We have time for one question because I went over time today. I got a little too excited talking about my French fries. But we have time for one question. So to those who are turning it off, stay happy, stay healthy, stay holy and visit us in Florida and you can participate in questions and answers in person. And to those who are here, we have time for one.