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How to deal with leaving my family behind after I make Aliya
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Rabbi Anava and Kavanah Friedman are hosting the Kavanah show live from Tzfat
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Torah
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Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
so good evening
everybody this is RAB live
from and my
co-host from all the way from South
Africa and live and just so good to be
with you this evening and ready to share
some amazing amazing Thoughts with you
and so let's begin yes just with a
little introduction we are live in spat
we are doing a test broadcast tonight
that every Wednesday night we're
continue the cavana show live it will be
streamed on YouTube it will be streamed
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rest of the s social media and tonight
we're going to do a test broadcast from
our beautiful Learning Center here in
spat and it's not going to be the most
professional you're not going to have
beautiful jingles and commercials but
we're going to talk we're going to wait
after that for your feedback to see if
the quality was good if the sound was
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and we'll take it from there from here
on we're going to start with once a week
a live broadcast and with the listeners
and viewers feedback we're going to
continue for two times twice a week
three times a week and of course we're
going to try to accommodate our
listeners and our followers in the west
coast of the United States and also the
east coast of the United States for us
it's 11 o'clock at night well it's
10:30 so we're going to stay up just for
you for the listeners to enjoy and if
you have anything to say in regards to
Quality sound topic it will get better
we're just testing the equipment out the
sound will be much better the quality of
the video will be much better but we
wanted to start and take off and tonight
will be our first show we want to talk
about we want to talk about making a and
people that we actually leave behind
when we make a and then the feelings
that we have when we make a part is when
need children
grandchildren behind us brothers sisters
and how how to fix them and how to also
influence them to actually makeas
well and how to help them to
cope with the that we have
made beautiful you know it's the a a
question that I get a lot because for
the last couple years I am pushing a lot
of people to come to
Israel
and many people they they understand the
importance of all the Jews moving to
Israel but then of course starts the the
regular questions such as what am I
going to do in Israel where am I going
to work how can I lead my
family and a lot of the questions that
people ask is what am I going to do what
am I going to leave my family behind I
have kids here I have parents I have
siblings my wife's family is here a lot
of the questions that I get from many of
my followers is is one spouse says I
want to go but my wife's family is is
here and she doesn't want to leave the
family or he doesn't want to leave the
family so it is it is a very important
thing to to take to consideration
tonight will try to cover that to
actually address that and it is a very
very emotional topic
because it's many many relationships
that are involved and the aspect of loss
definitely comes into that's what I've
experienced in making AIA so I'm here
eight months and it has been the most
amazing experience at the same time
it's trying to be put in both worlds to
be in communication with the world that
I was in before and in the world that I
am in right now and it come feels like
tears me apart a little bit and how does
one actually deal with it I think you
know many years
ago one just c a TI you got to a boat
and you made alah and it just wasn't the
communication that we have nowaday
nowadays we actually have the
communication that is just amazing
you've got Skype you've got you've got
the WhatsApp you've got absolutely every
single communication that you can have
and I feel every single time that I
communicate with my children my
grandchildren I do feel
torn and how does one actually deal with
that and be an adjust to the new
circumstances and especially
you know my
wife is for me to doah was to come back
home and I experienced the exact same
thing on the other side because for 18
years I was by myself in America so I
left as a young individual I left Israel
when I was
23 and for 18 years I didn't have any
family in the United States till I got
married of course and and so for 18
years I knew the other side that I'm far
away from my family in
Israel but the whole time as much as it
was hard for me not to be with my family
I knew that that was my choice it was my
choice to to live in the United States
for many many different reasons needless
to say that later on I got married my
wife is American my kids were born in
America so of course I needed to no
needed it was my choice to stay and
every time I would come to visit Israel
and and for visits coming back would be
very very hard and every time Family whe
whether was my parents or sisters or
anyone who came to visit me the the
goodbye was very hard so and every time
that it would break my heart I would say
but you know that's my decision because
you make in life decisions based on your
livelihood on your spouse on your
community uh
friends and and sometimes in life you
have to be separated from your loved
ones because you want to be relocate to
to have a better job or a better life
for your kids a
better lifestyle and one needs to always
weigh the consequences that I might gain
a lot from here but here I I have to
give up un fortunately in our life you
you can't have it all can't have the
cake eat the cake and keep it whole and
and I know it's easier said than done
but the the the way to to start
beginning approaching it is that when a
person decides to move and to do
especially here it's not only relocating
for a better life or for a different job
here is already more of a spiritual
reason why I'm
moving and ideological reason why I'm
moving there's many reasons why people
do a it's not only for a better job or a
better
lifestyle but when a person does that
decision one needs to take in
consideration that that in my life I
sometimes I have to again and sometimes
I don't sometimes I I I don't want to
say I lose out but I have to make
decisions that I might gain here a lot
but on the other side I might might get
the the short end of the stick and of
course it's it's each individual
completely different and other people
address this issue and they ask me
question each person is a completely
different answer my wife for example
she's American when she did alyah we did
alyah about 14 months ago and her
parents are Israeli so she kept coming
to Israel all the time when she was kids
so she has some family here and her
sister made aah before her so for her it
was very hard to leave her parents
behind but at least she has a sister
here couple months later her brother did
alyah and he lives right next to us so
at least she has she she misses her
parents it's hard for her to be away
from her parents she constantly says
Okay I want to go and visit them and H
but she took to consideration that
sometimes you have to make a decision in
your life that is good for your own
personal life for your own benefit and
maybe say when you have a husband and
kids or wife and kids and and she took
to consideration that yes I'm I'm going
to gain a lot here but here I'm going to
have to
have missing my parents which is not
easy and again each individual is
completely different but when a person
knows the benefits of the move then they
can start
addressing how to deal with the fact
that I'm leaving kids behind I'm leaving
a husband behind and that's also
happening I know a lot of people that
one spouse got up left and the other one
was left behind either to close the
business either to sell the house or
either because that's how it worked out
so like in anything in life we have to
know how to adjust and how to approach
it and when it's for something good then
you know we have it good in our
generation like you said before in other
generation something happened they had
to grab their bags and run away and
really leave people behind in danger he
look at 7080 years ago people left
Family behind to save their life and a
lot of them didn't want to leave because
they knew they'll never see their loved
ones and they
also got
killed so we have it easy we have
communication internet Skype
phones cheap tickets to fly backwards
and
forth
but and it's throughout the world and
every single person as you say the
circumstances are completely
different and what makes it very very
unique is the fact that this is is er
Israel this is Israel and it brings home
such an intense feeling of coming home
and
not not only coming home for the person
that makes the alah but almost like
throwing a fish Rod into the sea where
you're going to actually fish around and
bring the rest of the your family bone
and that adds to the dimension
of of the immigration of the AL of the
emotions of being the first one to
actually cross the
road so this is a very very intense
subject and that's
why I had many many requests from my
beloved listeners
from who were listening to our programs
when we spoke about making all the very
very um
was emotional feelings of and the very
practical reasons foring and the very
spiritual from making Al and what is it
that when motivates a person to make
that Al to make that move and then to
really uh help the rest of the family
come home because I think that's That's
the basis of it that's where the emotion
lies of that coming
home exactly this is exactly the thing
that I tell a lot of people people when
they when I meet a lot of people in the
last couple years one of my my agendas
was to send a lot of people to Israel
for many different
reasons and and I got a few questions or
I don't know have to call it necessarily
a question rather an opposition right
away and the first one is what am I
going to do for for for
job and and the second one is you know
where am I going to live what am I going
to do there so there was all sorts of
opposition but one of them was how can I
leave my family behind I mean I have
here parents I have
siblings and most of the people that I
answered when they asked me at least
that question was telling them exactly
the same thing you will be the one who
goes settle down set everything straight
I mean in a few weeks we're going to
read in the par that yob decided to move
to M now this is of course even going
down not coming
coming up but we see that yob moved down
to MIT there was famine in Israel ysep
was the the second to the king and they
decided to
relocate and before yakob ainu moved the
entire household then he he sent first
of all some of his kids some of the
tribes to set it up set up yibas set up
synagogues build mikas get everything
ready and then slowly slowly will come
down I mean in the Torah when you read
it it sounds like it happened overnight
like a press of a button and 70 people
went down to Egypt the reality was that
everything in the Torah we we we we see
the headlines it doesn't really say for
example in our weekly par it's talking
how Jakob ran away from ASA who wanted
to kill him and he ran away
toan it doesn't say clearly in the Tor
that it took him 14 years till he got to
he went 14 years here to he came up here
up in the corner yeah he came to Thea of
sh ever which is literally literally not
even 100 meters from us and he sat down
here for 14 years and her door so people
think that Jakob pressed the button and
he fly to Khan so in the Torah many
things they're just said as a headline
and then it jumps 20 years so same with
the story with Jakob Jakob went to MIT
it wasn't overnight it was they had to
plan they had to
get the Aliah papers they had to get
immigration passports pack everything so
in the meantime yob sent his sons to set
it up go and open yeshivas go and open
sh synagogues buy some real estate start
getting everything ready so in many
cases that I spoke to people who have
this dilemma of leaving their family is
that's one of the answers that I always
say you are going to set things up
you're going to go first you'll be the
pioneer you'll set everything up and
then you'll be able to easily tell your
loud on come I already have a place to
live I already have a job it's much
easier than you thought and and then
slowly slowly you can start bringing
everybody everybody over and a lot of
people will tell me I can't do the move
because my family is Left Behind that's
a good excuse for 80 years ago when you
had to go on a donkey to to visit
somebody now you hop on a plane and
within 10 hours you're you
you can cross the the entire half
halfway through the globe so but it is
when one really takes the fros and cons
and says what am I gaining by moving
doing aah and what am I losing when you
look at the pros then it's it totally
weighs out the the CA and sometimes in
life you know I made many decisions in
my life that I had to to to give up
something because that's how it is in
life sometimes in order to gain you have
to give up something and you make your
own calculations and we wanted tomato
aah for years my wife wanted tomato aah
12 years ago and we were busy with our
Outreach in America and my Rabbi kep
tell you you can't leave now because you
you have students here and you give
lectures and you teach and the the
communities need you and every year I
would come back to him and tell him can
I go already and finally two years ago
he told me okay now pack your bags and
leave but the whole time we really
wanted to leave and in the meantime we
also had the same thoughts we're going
to leave Family behind and and we
constantly had these okay what what is
going to what am I gaining and what's
what I'm going I'm going to be losing
and we saw very clearly that even not on
the spiritual level even on the physical
level my my kids have the best life ever
just this Shabbat we had a guest
who came to spend Shabbat with us that
used to Be Our Guest in New York and she
didn't see the kids for like a year and
a half she was one of our regular guests
that would come every Shabbat for two
years she she was one of our regulars so
she knew the kids she saw them growing
up and now she came she was like I can't
believe not only did they grew so much
the kids they're like different they're
like Good Bean they're like happy and
they're totally different and I said yes
because what they have here in Israel
you can't find it anywhere in there else
in the world I mean my kids are still
can't believe that they go by themselves
to school and who had that in America my
daughter's school was down the block and
we had to walk for there now my kids my
my my third grader he walks to school by
himself he wants he gets on the bus he
gets off the bus and they can't believe
it they cannot believe that they can
just walk in the streets and little
things like you know not too long ago we
had a guest and and and I saw him like
locking the door at night told him you
don't have to lock the door he's like
why told him because nobody comes in I
mean this is
not somewhere else in the world did you
lock the
door nobody walks into your home in safe
place so really the way to look at it is
in anything in life you have you you you
in order to gain a lot you have to give
up something and it might just seem that
you give giving up but sometimes like
the the head of the family and the head
of the family doesn't necessarily have
to be the father the head of the family
can be one of the individuals that goes
and paves the path and that person goes
and he does the first step and when the
rest of the family he sees oh he's doing
okay he he was able to make it okay now
it's time for us to come too
so I mean I mean I know you left kids
Behind or I left three children behind
in South Africa and broke a shin I've
got two here in Israel and some
grandchildren so that's really really a
wonderful steing
St however the the children that are
left behind in South Africa I definitely
left it feels like I left red crumbs
behind where they can come and pick up
the crumbs and follow me that that was
one of my really really greatest prise
and wishes is that they would pick up
the greatrun and follow and the
particularly the one daughter that I
brought here in Israel is that she made
like
a gor an absolute uh champion and
Warrior and hero and I just want to be
here to support her and to encourage her
and not only her but every single other
soul that has made alah because in our
generation in this darkness that we
walking around in we need all the
support that we can get whether it's our
children whether it's other families
whether whoever it is that we come
across that we just smile at look at
that comes across our path we are here
for them we want to be here for them we
are we are here for them really with the
stones behind us as we are go Crossing
live we are here for you the stones of
being SI sick Stone these are by the way
320 year old Stones wow
so we just found out the history of the
building so this building is 320 year
old building of course it was
refurbished but the stones are I don't
know if 323 years years old but they're
at least couple hundred years old
St
so you know one thing that I I I a lot
of people with the exact same issue that
addressed there was a certain individual
that Noto long ago that I spoke
to and and he he kept telling me you
know my family is behind and I can't
leave my parents and I can't leave my
sisters and so
and I told him you have to understand
that at some point they will come too
and the way it works with especially
with the structure of family some
families it happens all together some
families it's not the right time so you
will do the AL now your sister will do
Aliah in a year your parents will do
Aliah a year and a half and and you see
it in many not only in Aliyah I meet so
many families which is it's always blows
my mind to see it I I meet families that
the entire family did cha and it blows
my mind usually you see one person you
see one person maybe two sisters
maybe two
siblings sometimes you see an entire
family that do cha it's unbelievable I
always I always I'm so amazed because
most of the people especially Bal CH and
and converts that they they there're
they only one so the families either
they give them a lot of problems and
it's the same thing and and congs that
usually they're by themselves they don't
have a support supporting family I mean
very rarely I find families that
support the the the change so they have
a struggle that they're by
themselves and every now and then you
see a whole family that makes chba not
long ago I made a family that within
months they all became B chba which is
unbelievable and in most cases it's not
like that so the same thing with alah I
do know families that the entire family
made alah within couple months and when
I'm saying family I'm not talking a
mother father and kids I'm talking about
a mother and father that are in their
60s 70s and married kids I me not to
long ago I gave a lecture in in in the
United States in Chicago and I met a
wonderful couple that made aam from
Israel and made to Israel sorry and
within within a year they and their I
didn't ask their ages but they look in
their at least late 60s or mid 70s their
entire family within the year made aah
one child made they went to bees another
child made they they went to it was like
amazing to see that the entire family
did
that and of course you know they didn't
have to deal with this issue but in most
cases it's not the right time for
everybody and if I look at it close to
my own home my sister-in-law my my
wife's sister she made aiyah I believe
about four or five years ago she was the
first one who just took off and then we
made aiyah and almost a year later my
brother my my wife's brother he did
aiyah so we're constantly saying okay
now she has another two brothers and the
parents obviously it wasn't the time
that everybody comes together each one
comes in their own
time and and one more thing and the
thing is that how how I saw when I left
Israel to America Amer my mother she's
Australian and and she made aiyah when
she was 18 so she made aiyah only with
her parents and the brother stayed
behind he was much older he didn't want
to come and and then after that my
mother stayed and my her parents left
back to Australia so for almost all my
life I grew up that my mother didn't
have any family in Israel because they
all went back to Australia so we would
go now you know 30 40 years ago I would
speak with my grandma mother once on my
birthday because it was like exorb
expensive to talk on the phone was Hi
how are you everything's okay good thank
you I love you by so that's how it was
and then you know we became very
sophisticated started faxes we would fa
I was like wow so and and we we didn't
have this luxury so I all my life grew
up with my mom not having her family
around her and I saw how it's affecting
her but on the other hand I saw that she
has a better life she has a husband she
has kids she has she has her own life
here and unfortunately in life we we we
we don't always we don't always have to
be next to our loved ones unfortunately
some people are very happy to be away
from their from their parents of
siblings or kids that's
Shalom and it's
it's
from if you actually think about it and
especially in generation the way that we
actually walking around in the darking
into things that t is setting things up
sending uh one family member and then uh
ining the next family member it's
incredible
kind and it it just really really for me
it just shows me how much a loves me but
that's what it feels like incredible
incredible love and I think especially
being here
in the the love that I feel is just
absolutely amazing and it it kind of
supplements and feeds me besides there
was a physical feeding emotional feeding
feeding
spiritual and being here in b
Seminary for being more mature ladies
like myself I am just so grateful and
just feel so Ed and loved and careful
and I just invite andas every single
other lady to come here to B Maria and
little bit of a
in
never that is hashem's
love it is definitely showing hashem's
love
hasem it's also a good opportunity to to
thank everyone I can't even name the
names because there's so many but all of
our followers and our
supporters that helped to get this whole
thing up and running whether they helped
with their time with their money with
their thoughts with their blessings with
their prayers I know hundreds of people
were praying that it will it will
actualize so some people some people
helped with with with money some people
helped with prayers and I always tell
the people who pray your your help is
not less
important hundreds of our followers
contributed in their in each one in
their way and their the unique way and
with aem's kindness and his love we were
able to me to to open this beautiful
center it's already starting we're
operating beautiful Shabbat meals and
and classes and parties and we have
unbelievable schedule in front of
us now we're getting the hang of the
whole live
thing probably all the last classes that
we have here will be live and all the
all the Gathering
a few weeks hanuka we have hanuka
parties and many other
events so till you get your Leah papers
you can watch it live but better to go
to the Jewish agency and
apply as we know that the more Jews are
in the land of Israel than we hastening
the
Redemption and that's that's our main
goal and really when you want to do
something good there's always going to
be an opposition we wanted to do this
beautiful Center it it can it only came
with problems and every time we met one
another problem and my wife would would
get upset I would tell her this just
goes to show us that we're on the right
path because the is not happy when
you're doing what you're supposed to do
so he will come and create all these
obstacles so every time we ran into an
obstacle doesn't matter what type it was
then
I know that it's it's the right thing so
when it comes to and I know some people
some people don't feel it's their time
and I respect that and I know a lot of
people if they're doing unbelievable
work anywhere they are in the world
whether they do their Outreach whether
they're getting stronger spiritually I
know I have a lot of students who they
tell me listen I I'm just now starting
to take off in my spiritual level I have
a good Yesa here I have a good I have a
good synagogue a good Community I
believe I feel that if I go now
somewhere else I'm not going to grow as
much so some people it's not really
their time but as long as they're
focused on what they need to do if you
focused on nonsense on opening another
business or or or
anything not so important like that I of
course you need to have livelihood but a
lot of people their mind is like they're
thinking I have to start saving now for
10 years I'm going to college and I want
to invest in this business will take
five years to to see fruition I mean
that's that's not really concentrating
on the Redemption but a lot of people
that they say listen right now I'm I'm
growing spiritually where I am or I have
a lot of the students and followers they
tell me listen where I am if I would be
here there would be Shabbat meals or
there wouldn't be classes I'm a very
very
dedicated student that he he he's not so
knowledgeable but he drives people to
classes and he creates classes and he
brings stickers and and he creates a
shabas atmosphere and I told him you are
literally you're like you're doing
unbelievable Outreach so if a person is
totally
concentrated on what they need to do and
if it's not their time then good then
they have to stay where they are but the
majority are not and and of course when
you come to do something good or to get
an upgrade right away there's going to
be an opposition right away the is going
to come into your mind and start telling
you oh you going find a job there's no
money this
it's terrorists all day long there's
attacks there and he will come with will
come with all the excuses why you should
not make the move which in essence when
you really go and look like the first
time when I came to visit and I was like
I know what people talking about here
Prosperity everywhere building
everywhere jobs everywhere and of course
you hear in the news okay there was here
there attack here there attack but you
walk in the streets you feel safer You
Don't See it you go to the to to the
border of AA you you might feel a little
bit D danger with the West Bank but
anywhere in the world you have problems
you have Terr attacks all over Europe
you have
constantly danger everywhere you go the
reality is that when when you when it's
a good and auspicious time for you to
make the move that's when the going to
come and and and manipulate the
situation that you'll stay where you are
and one of the things is how do I Lael
my loved on behind so that we had time
in our history that yeah people had to
be separated people had to to run
away 80 years ago 75 years ago families
were separated into different camps they
didn't find each other after that and it
took years for them to find each other
so this this is a completely different
situation and needless to say with the
technology and the and the ease of
of transporting from continent into
continent this is makes things a little
bit easier but the major thing one needs
to understand is that it mainly depends
on like anything in life that you have
to weigh the pros and the cons and you
might find that the pros actually out
out they totally take over the cons by
actually even not making Al and I've
seen that in other
situations but especially when it comes
to the point that you're leaving people
behind you're never leaving anybody
behind if you have in your mind that
you're leaving somebody behind then
you're leaving them behind but if you
have in your mind that you're going to
pave a path then you have an agenda that
you saying I'm not
leaving comes with Holiness then there's
always there's always the excuse of
the that that you're doing something
wrong I mean if somebody will get now a
job offer to go to Switzerland because
they're making two three $2 more month
they would go with no problem to leave
the family behind but but when to do
something in Holiness then no I can't do
anything so that's what I meet a lot of
the times people come they say I can't
leave people behind but if a day later
they will get a job offer to move to a
different state they won't even blink
the bag will be packed and within two
minutes they they're going to leave of
course on to also one has has to be also
honest with themselves and say okay
really why am I not going to live in
just because a lot of the people have a
problem that it's hard for them to get
out of their comfort zone and and I know
a lot of people that they want to make
the change but they're they're afraid of
the move so they have to hold on some
excuse why I don't want to leave oh no
no my my my parents oh I can't leave my
brother or my child and again I'm not
judging any situation I know some
situations are very very difficult I
know a lot of people especially in their
older ages they want to do alah and
they're living the kids behind I know a
lot of older people that that they're
leaving that they left the kids Behind
it's extremely hard for them they got to
the point that they're saying I
sometimes in my life I have to also
think about myself I have to think of my
own sanity or my
own growth that's something one to also
take in consideration that sometimes you
have to think of yourself no no other
option and
transition
Liv the coming
of and that transitioning is is
absolutely
explosive and I think the old person
really really fed as you said now
really feels it and knows it and lived
it and probably last times before has
Liv it and really wants to make that
look
forward in terms of guiding the family
being
that
family yeah I mean how I mean we were in
touch a lot before you made aah yes and
and you knew you're going to leave some
kids Behind maybe you can share your
private feelings how it was because I I
know you you were ready to to move
already and obviously you made the
decision that what's good for you which
eventually will be good for the kids
anyways is to to
relocate
so sh a little was very very hard
decision to make really was an extremely
emotional decision to make and I had to
really really go above my emotional self
my physical self in order to
get exactly where I need to be and
exactly where I need to guide my
children and my grandchildren and my
great
grandchildren and I think no matter in
Israel you definely have an affinity to
certain area in Israel however for me
definitely it was a very very
subconscious and probably
holy definely was SP and what is a plant
here
like as I walk around put the olive
trees that
been hundreds of years ago
IE
and just planted my new Roots
down of
and it definitely is a very
one you're a
worrior you need to be not a worrior in
terms of worrying but in terms of being
out there in the Forefront
and it's not fighting something it's
just ping
away that
is being
for me it's making people a
of
and being aare of one's
Mission
follow doesn't anywhere else in the
world need
to find
and
that's
abute
not
beautiful that's where we
belong that's where we belong you know I
I the thousands of people that I meet
that
do
made they they they all they all Testify
the same thing that they feel at home
that they finally feel they might have
struggles with with different things I
mean nobody greets you here with bags of
bows of
honey I mean you still have to work here
there's still issues but everybody has
their
problems but with all the struggles that
we have to go through first of all it's
aem's decision if I'll have these
struggles and if I have struggles with
with my livelihood I'll have it anywhere
in the world and if I have any other
struggles it's only because that's what
has decides for me to have but the one
thing that I hear from everybody with or
without struggles is that at least they
feel at home they walk in the street and
I'm like this is this is where I belong
I belong i i i i the air is different
the energy is different the the shabat
is different everything is different and
we have so many guests that come from
abroad to spend the Shabbat with us and
they they they cannot believe it they
just cannot believe they say the Shabbat
is different it's a different thing than
anywhere else the food is different the
air is different the the prayers
synagogues everything is different it's
it's really where we belong and and and
my recommendation it doesn't matter
where you are and if if one needs to
have a success or the other way
around the other side of success in in
their livelihood doesn't matter where
they are that's that's aem's decision
the one who signs the check at the end
of the month is only AEM it's not how
hard you work or how smart you
are and if Hashem wants us to have a
struggle we will have a struggle the
point is that what do you gain
spiritually and mentally and
emotionally and when we come to our
source that's what you gain you gain so
so much on these levels and and and like
again you you weigh the pros and cons
there's always going to be problems and
struggles that's there's no doubt about
it but from at least what I see in we
had the the Merit and the honor to see
so many families thousands doing aah as
at least if they have complaints about
certain things I hear all the complains
people are rude uhh this is expensive
this is like this there's always you can
always find on what to complain that's
not not a problem that's the that's
that's the easiest thing to find on what
to complain but at least I see with
everybody that they have this this
inner sense of Peace because that's
where we belong doesn't matter how nice
it is if it is nice if it's not nice if
your house is big if you have a nice
car and eventually at the end of the day
when I when I talk to so many people
everybody's dealing with all their
challenges and unfortunately in our
generation everybody has their
difficulties and challenges whether it's
with making money whether is the
relationship between the husband and the
wife educating of the kids the teenagers
are not listening this is not working
out my kids is is going that direction I
hear unfortunately all the problems that
everybody has and everybody is dealing
with
something and one of the reasons why a
lot of people are running into all these
issues is only because they're not in
the right
place and and we know that when God
wanted to to create the world he had to
create two things space and time because
in the spiritual world there's no such a
thing as space and there's no such a
thing as time so in order for God to
create the world he had to create two
elements that we only have in this world
that's space and time and and we all
know that there's a word in Hebrew that
is called mazal now mazal if you
translate the word is lck but it's
really not lck you know when you have a
birthday you say mu do a wedding mu
do any you ever see mu why do you say
muo somebody tells you I just had a baby
muleo why why muleo good luck it doesn't
even make sense you say congratulations
I'm happy you should have happiness from
the child even if you translate the word
doesn't make
sense what does that mean b says good
luck so that doesn't sound some
confidence that you haveen been telling
me I need good luck
the reality is that that the word
masal is is built on three letters and
the Hebrew letter is a me stands for M
that's space the location the
place Z stands for for the time L stands
for either Li because we always have to
Li to learn because I always have to
involve the Torah the learning is of
course learning Torah I'm not talking
about learning math
is that the Torah is a substance for
everything and when you're looking at
these three elements if you constantly
live according to the Torah which means
the Torah is constantly in a motion of
giving which means when I learn I'm
constantly the motion of taking inside
of me what the Torah has to offer but if
I align myself to the right time and to
the right place that's when my mazal my
luck so to say is becomes more powerful
because we get our influence from the
K is is the ultimate good is the
ultimate giver and he's constantly
bestowing his Blessing on us but if I
don't reach out my hand to to grab what
he's giving me then he can pour His
unbelievable and endless amount of
blessing on me but I have to be a vessel
to receive it if I want to give you now
anything then you have to either hand
out your hand you have to come with a
box you have to come with anything even
if they give you a check you need a bank
account you need some type of a vessel
to receive what I'm giving him so first
of all I need to make myself a vessel
and I make myself a vessel by learning
the Torah and following the Torah but
then I also have to make a connection
between the giver and the receiver I'm
the receiver AEM is the giver I have to
make some type of a
connection so the connection is by me
placing myself in the right place the
right time they say in the business
world oh he was in the right time in the
right place yeah he was in the right
time he got a good business deal so it's
the same with everything I need to
constantly align myself that I'm acting
what am I acting what the Torah tells me
to do my Torah my Mitzvah my my
God-fearing acts and so forth my my
charitable acts but I have to make sure
that my time and my my place is is
centered in the right place then I
become a channel to receive what has
wants to give me so sometimes in in my
life I get to a point that I'm stuck now
nothing works out so it says in
the you change your means to change your
location is changing my luck so to say
what is this luck is this channel is
this path through this path God gives me
my blessings so sometimes if things are
stuck you'll have to change your
location now if everything is going the
way you want to that's one thing but the
reality is that most people they feel
that they're stuck either they reach a
certain spiritual level and they can't
grow or they don't feel that they're
growing spiritually or their business is
not working out or their relationships
are not working out or anything that
they try to do they're in a dead end you
can't find your other half uh there's so
many things one can can relate to as I
reached a dead end when you feel that
you reach some type of a dead end and
unfortunately most of us deal with these
dead ends that the solution
is is that you relocate yourself and you
have to change your location and the
time the time is has to be at the right
time you have to know how to to to reach
to the right place to the right time and
yes now is the time of the Redemption
this is very clear you don't have to be
a genius to figure it out and if it's
time of the Redemption I have to Center
myself in the right place so when the
time comes I'm in the right place at the
right time and and right now we know
that one of the elements of the of the
Redemption is what's called is the
returning of all the Jews back
to so the sooner the
better and also I feel that you cannot
escape
yourself you can kind of duck and dive
in other parts of the
world I'm not going off
topic one of the things that I I said a
lot to my friends and family is that we
can't
s you're going to find the S you're
going to find the truth you're going to
find what your purpose is it's going you
can't St it it's and it's a huge Ling
and I think many of the huge ra that
came here Isel just for one visit came
here for exactly that purpose is to
find themselves true purpose what it is
that they need to be in this world to
guide in this world to in this world to
think in this world to say in this
world
and for myself
I kind of Lely level that's exactly
yourself come here it's not
easy
the and take and find and it's almost as
if I
feel can do in this
and be here
for m is here I know it I know my
Bon you know that that really kind of
answers that topic is that when
sometimes you have to think of yourself
sometimes you're saying I I can only get
out of the mud if I do certain acts
sometimes you really have to think of
yourself exactly like you're saying you
need to find yourself to work with so he
can grow spiritually and physically
mentally so sometimes you need to say
okay you know not even now I have one of
my students that
that he he has a very strong addiction
to
drugs and after many years of
struggle finally B he picked himself up
and he went to
rehab and it's not easy needless to say
and it's very very hard on his family
it's not easy and and one of the ways to
convince him was to say you're going to
have to do it eventually eventually
you're going to have to rip that that
bandage off I know you don't want to go
I know you don't want to be away from
your family and from your kids and I
know you you want to have your comfort
and now being in a far away place with
other people that you don't want to deal
with and and he kept telling me I don't
want to be in this place I don't want to
be in this place and some point he just
realized that he has to do what he has
to do I told him it's going to take a
couple months of hard work you're going
to miss your family they're going to
miss you but you have to do it you just
have to do it for yourself now this is
an extreme
example but in everything in your life
you have to come to a point that you're
saying if I'm not going to help myself
then I'm not going to nothing nobody's
going to help me sometimes it's it
depends on me I have to help myself and
I know in a lot of cases people are
depending on me it's a whole different
thing but even sometimes when people
depend on me sometimes it's also the the
Divine Provence that they have to get up
to be on their feet by themselves so I
can move on to a better place and I see
many times that that in order to do a
drastic change then the action has to be
very
drastic and you know I was happy to do
aah I could wait I was counting the days
and every day that passed and I ran into
all sorts of didn't want me to come to I
mean from the day we were supposed to do
yeah it took us a year later only to
come with any delay that can happen
happen but I see that what the the
people who finally they make the
decision and the the change then then
then then they're counting the days to
come it's only the the the decision time
went through an outen you have to be
very particular because the that's when
he comes and starts coming with all
these ideas maybe suddenly sends you a
good job suddenly this works out this is
that you waited for years suddenly it
turned up so point to understand from
that and that's why I always say is to
First and most important to understand
is
coming and and you have to operate
according to that and last week we we
had a class that I that I was talking
about that very few people really live
their lives life according to the fact
that any second Messiah is coming my
whole entire life it has to be in
preparing for that so A person who goes
now and says I want to be a doctor and
he's registering to medical school and
in his mind him or she she thinks that
in seven years he'll be a doctor that's
totally going not in the path of think
of knowing that mhia is coming any day
because when mashia is going to come
we're not going to need doctors there's
not going to be Hospital there's going
to be diseases so it's a very bad
business to invest in if I'm already
going to learn something learn something
that has to do with the Redemption or or
even invest your time I always give the
same example one of our students in his
40s he he told me what do you think I
should do I have X amount of money that
I save and after looking into all the
details I told him I think you should
take a certain amount of money that you
have and put it aside that will sustain
for two years he saved a little bit of
money and I told him put your money that
you have in savings take this amount of
money and designated to to support you
and your your family for the next two
years and in the next two years go and
move to Israel and send Ina and
learn and I would believe that 99.9% of
people in the world will think this is
the worst advice in the world and would
not do it but he took me serious and he
moved to Israel from Europe he lived he
lived in Europe he took whatever money
he had put it in savings and the rest of
the money he put aside and this is
enough money to pay his his living
expenses for the next year and he
studies in Isa he's older than me and
he's in heaven his kids I go to school
his wife is learning they have a little
bit of I mean he doesn't leave
live so expensive he lives simple but he
learns all day long in Yesa forget about
that he's in in in a different
atmosphere the entire family is
operating in a different sphere but at
least I told him listen why don't should
take two years if Mas comes in in these
two years then you're great you're
learning to all day long I mean there's
no other better way to prepare and if
Shalom hasem will decide to delay the
Redemption for whatever reason he has
nothing went to waste you invested two
years learning toah so in two years you
take whatever money you have left to
invest in a business or you find a job
same way you can find a job now you'll
find a job in two years so you're not
losing
anything and he's one of the few that I
know that says yeah mhia is coming and
in a month or a week or half a year when
he comes we're not going to need doctors
we're not going to need pharmaceutical
we're not going to
need half of the things that we have now
so what's the point of doing that what
are we going to need is d d and acts of
kindness and that's what will tast in
the Redemption so the point is to live
with the fact mhia is coming and one of
the ways to prepare the the arrival is
you relocate because when m is GNA come
we're all going to move here anyways
wherever you wherever you are we're
going to all move to to El is we pray
that three times a
day bring us together from the four
corners of the world So the faster we
get it if we do it ourselves then we
hastening the
Redemption we don't have the merage
to to to see the coming of the
Redemption already from is and not to
hear about it when you're
in wherever you are and then start
making plan your travel
arrangements as you say there's not
enough plans bring us
all I I heard somebody didn't like my my
my analogy that I said that there's not
enough ples in the world to fly
everybody in so they told me listen on
an aircraft carrier you can take 25 ,000
people an aircraft carrier takes about a
day and a half to come from America to
Israel two days I don't remember the
exact days so he says we're going to get
all the aircraft carriers and put 25,000
people on an aircraft carrier and just
going to go backwards and forward all
day long they said listen that's a very
good idea I know we have boats we have
planes we have that's not the point of
course is the the the the hasem has many
ways to bring us all here he will make
the planes go
fast the Redemption is going to come
go on clouds and Glory like the Prophet
Daniel says so but that's not the point
the point is that each and every one of
us has to do some type of an action in
bringing the Redemption faster of course
I have to grow spiritually I have to add
more acts of kindness more mitv keeping
Shabbat eating kosher all these things I
have to increase needless to say I have
to go and affect other
people but everybody is responsible of
doing something and part of the acts
that we have to do is is by Jews that
follow the Torah they come to the land
of Israel they are hastening the coming
of M that's that's a a known fact and we
see now the thousands and tens of
thousands of Jews are coming from all
over the world and you really see
according to our eyes that hem is
performing these unbelievable miracles
in front of our eyes that one can choose
to ignore it but the reality is that we
seeing unbelievable Miracles how hasem
is controlling the world and and and
showing to us that the Redemption can
come like that fast and easy so it's up
to
us
are is one of the partn as well it's a
it's
IM mother the W that is going to
facilitate all of that and sess that
beauty that oxygen that's growth is
going to
happen so come home come home everybody
please there's a lot of space in
spots fresh air so much and people that
are waiting with open
arms yep from every single angle it's
just it actually is mind you can't wak
your head around the kindness the
goodness the love and every single
element that is put on Place SC the
oxygen the the
land the W the
Earth it's just been so
amazing beautiful lers Watchers
sh de and secrets and and love
of so we're going to wish you our
listeners and viewers the ones who are
live I can see down there on the screen
how many viewers we have and we don't
see the viewers but I see the numbers
how many people are viewing us so uh
first of all we going to wish everybody
a beautiful rest of the day for us it's
night and a beautiful Shabbat and
continuing having a very blessed month
of K have a beautiful holiday coming up
and if there's any feedback from tonight
in regards to Quality and sound it's
going to get better because tonight
we're just doing a test
other next week the both the quality of
the video and the sound will be much
much better and we are going to slowly
slowly get into then we're going to open
the lines of viewers that can comment
and ask questions and call in text
in we will get it done very easy and
interesting and it's going to be
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the major one is YouTube and Facebook
and of course it's all recorded it can
be found later on on all the platforms
again like YouTube and Facebook and
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our website at sm.com since all the the
streaming will be done from the center
of bam it will be also hosted on the BAM
website which eventually will be
streamed from that
website and we will continue to
advertise but just we can know that now
on it will be advertised everywhere that
every
Wednesday at night Israel time it will
be stream which is in the United States
it will be during the day and we will
with a feedback we get from our
listeners we will adjust it according to
the times and the hours and the topics H
we definitely want to uh uh make it
better and easier on the viewers and the
listeners that everybody will gain as
much as possible and later on we'll
start
taking topics as ideas we have a topic
people sometimes email us and they tell
us we want you to talk about this topic
we want you to talk about that
topic we're also going to have different
other shows it will be streamed live
that you'll have the ability to ask
questions
and and get answers because other we
have many more guests tonight I'm the
guest in the in the show this will
continue being the Cabana show uh it's
just going to be streamed on the
different media but we're going to keep
it the Cabana show because other show
we'll develop more other shows any
feedback that you have positive or
negative is always welcome and in the
meantime we're just going to reach you
from the holy land a beautiful blessed
day a beautiful Shabbat the rest of the
month should be blessed and we will see
you all here live in Isel very very
soon thank you very much and have a
blessed beautiful day