How To Do TeShuva Step by Step (Chovot HaLevavot)

it's not just stop the crime you also have to fix the past you also have to fix the past and that's the difference between the Torah and what it's the instructions of the Torah and people's logic people think that if I'm not committing the crime now I'm no longer a criminal T says no no until you've done CH for it you're still a criminal one of the uh most important things for a person to know is whether they're going in the right direction because going in a wrong direction is not only a uh waste of effort but it's extremely timec consuming and if a person does not know whether he's going or she's going in the right direction or not then that means imagine you have to go from here to your house and let's say your house is an hour away from here now if you drive in the wrong direction one hour that means that it's not going to take you an hour now if you turn around an hour to go back and go to your house now it'll take you two hours because you have to first go back to the original point and then another hour left and again here I'm talking about straight lines not with the turns and the highways and all that stuff I'm sure you it's less point being is is that to make up a mistake it's not just about it's a waste of effort waste of gas waste it's a huge amount of time so if a person is on the path of serving hem but they're on the wrong path they're in the wrong direction it's of Paramount importance for them to fix that mistake because they could literally be driving in the wrong direction for five years for 10 years expecting to have blessing expecting to have Heaven expecting to have all good in reality they're nowhere near they're nowhere near they're in like a similar Road similar but not the same so a person has to know how to do CH a vote that was written about a thousand years ago it's one of the most important books the Jewish world has but but one of the things that is very popular about that I'm sure you've heard about is sh the Gate of that is not the gate we'll talk about in fact we're going to talk about a gate that most people do not know exists a section of the that the vast majority of Jews do not know exists in and it's called Chua the Gate of chuba the Gate of repentance this section of the book it's something you every Jew has to read multiple times because it not only will tell you things that are of Paramount importance for you to know if you do the chv if you're doing even the right thing or not but also all of the issues we've discussed against the Heretics are addressed here says what is the prerequisite to a person's chuva to a person's repentance I say it's possible for him to do chuva only after he knows the following seven things one he must clearly recognize the shamefulness of his deed for if this is not clear to him and he is in doubt or uninformed about it it is not possible for him to have remorse or seek forgiveness for it as it is written in 515 for I am aware of my transgressions and my sin is ever before me meaning for him to do Chua he has to be knowledgeable enough to know that what he did is wrong and if he doesn't know what he did is wrong then he hasn't done cha I mean even if he keeps Shabbat keeps kosher but he doesn't know that let's just say uh speaking bad about is not allowed or that stealing from his customers even if they're go is not allowed IES don't know yeah he's going to get rewarded for the chbat that he kept and the kosher that he kept but he hasn't completed his CH he's going to get severely punished for whatever he did did CH yeah but you're a thief yeah but you're nobody didn't know okay so now you'll know but not only enough to knowledge he says it's not possible for him to remove the remorse meaning it's not enough for him to just say okay I you know I'll stop stealing he has to get himself to a point where he has remorse over the things that he did wrong against theem now who do you think knows more about about anything in t or anybody else in the world today meaning that if anybody else in the world says other than what says you don't have to argue who's right or wrong so automatically we see in the first one told us already what the ram says three several steps of CHA One Stop the sin two make offense don't return to it you have to be knowledgeable about it not to return to it that's part of offense three have remorse four is once you get tested again pass the test but the three steps are the foundations of already already said it a couple hundred years before the rambam or 100 years before the rambam but either way this is an Ence telling us already if he is not going to learn to there's no way for him to do right because he's never going to become not eligible about what he did wrong two he must see the wrong in his deed and its baseness for if it is not clear to him that what he did was wrong and that his action was not right he will neither regret it nor accept upon himself the conditions of repentance rather he will be judged as one who sinned in error and he has an ample excuse as it says who can fathom errors cleanse me of any unknown faults so already here he's saying if he doesn't see what he did he knows it's wrong he doesn't see why it's wrong I know it's not allowed to steal I know why it's not allowed to do it's not I know it's not I just don't know why it's wrong I don't know why it's wrong to uh do cash fence I don't know why it's wrong to wear idol worship on your head I don't know why it's wrong to waist seed I don't know why it's wrong a made the body that way like some people tell me Hashem made the body that way so made the body spit does that mean you spit like a like a like a c it's the stupidest response in the world but that's the thing no no noem made the body that way no Shem made the body no he didn't you're making the body do that notem Shem enabled the body to do that you didn't make it you were making the body do that Shem also enabled you to to spit does that mean that you every time you see something you spit on people in their face no why cuz obviously you realize it's wrong that you don't realize it's wrong you you know it's not allowed because you just heard it in a lecture but you don't realize why it's wrong says if he doesn't understand why it's wrong he hasn't gotten to the point of understanding why it's wrong then he's not going to be able to do chuva for it completely it's partial chuva meaning it's no longer going to be as long as he stops and he's only going to stop because he's not allowed not because he understand that it's wrong that'll be considered accidental sin meaning he's still going to get some level of punishment for it why he knows it's wrong because it's not allowed or or he knows it or doesn't know it's wrong because he doesn't want usually that's the case yeah usually that's the case we're still only on number two we have seven we have seven conditions for three he must realize that retribution for his misdeed is absolutely inevitable retribution means punishment he must real again remember this this is a condition for CH a thousand years ago [Applause] gate of repentance chapter 3 he must realize that retribution for his misdeed is absolutely inevitable for if he is unaware of this certainty there is nothing to compel him to regret the ACT but if it is clear to him that he will be punished for it he will regret it and ask forgiveness as it is written for after turning I felt remorse and after learning the consequences I struck my thigh in grief that's Jeremiah 31:18 in so many words if he does not believe that hasem will punish him for every single one of his sins that means that he cannot do chuva he is incapable she is incapable of actually completing a Chua why because if they do not understand if they don't believe in the punishment don't understand the punishment in so many words this is not in their belief system then they're never going to be able to ever understand how hasem runs the world why he runs the world the way he does and therefore they're never going to understand the magnitude of their actions to the point of regret now if I tell you um there was a guy grew up became fantastic person very smart very giving very successful eventually got to the point where he was able to help hundreds of thousands of people eat every year give hundreds of thousands of people jobs improve the morality of the world tremendously publicize God's name did everything great someone that made a major real difference in the world they' say well where is this person he died when before he did all those things who this person that's one of the people that one of the women killed while he was a baby it's called an AB abortion called an abortion some people they get pregnant so they can have kids some people they get pregnant so they kill them so she killed the baby why she's stupid she's crazy selfish whatever it is what she's not realizing she thinks oh no maybe it's just a it's a it's it's not really a baby it's really like it's not thing yet it's not what they're not understanding is that that could have been that person I just described that feeds hundreds of thousands of people that employs hundreds of thousands of people that improved the world in a m in a major way you just kill them just kill them meaning that when a person doesn't think that that thing in their belly is a real person it's not possible for them to ever get to the point of remorse of understanding that they just murdered a person that could have been mashia murdered a person that could have been a adult murdered a person that could have been the best doctor in the world murdered a person that could have saved lives murdered a person that did some wonderful things they're not thinking that's a person so it's not possible for them to understand what the magnitude of what they did is hence the reason why they can't do J that's three four he must know that his misdeed is held against him and recorded in the book of his demerits and that it will not be overlooked forgotten or laid aside as it says in the book of De uh Deuteronomy CH 32:34 is it not stored up with me sealed in my treasuries each person signs with his own hand that every man may know his deeds says job chter 37:7 for if he thinks that it is dropped and not held against him he will neither regret nor ask forgiveness since his punishment is slow and coming as it says in KET because the sentence for an evil deed is not carried out immediately they have therefore emboldened to do evil here again theot says a thousand years ago knowledge of reward and punishment is not just of Paramount importance but if it doesn't exist shua is not possible because he's going to think listen I know I used to do bad things but I'm not doing as bad now I'm doing less bad so God's going to give me the credit for it then he's just going to let go those other things no no no you're not understanding if you don't realize that everything you ever did not a single thing will be skipped not a single thing you've ever done wrong will be skipped unless you've done CH for it everything there is no skipping nothing will be overlooked nothing will be let let aside the moment a person doesn't realize that it's not possible for them to ever get to a level of remorse to ever really think there's really going to be a judgment and that's why they get shocked when they hear punishments Gom stuff like that why cuz in their mind like no no no what do you mean I'm a decent person I'm not killing anybody yeah but you realize that you cheated on your wife the other day yeah but she didn't find out so it doesn't hurt her yeah but you realize that you know according to it's not allowed yeah yeah but you know I'm not going to do it again yeah but you stole from a customer yeah but that was only one you know how many customers I did the right thing for so he thinks like it's think like people think like it's a law of averages or something or majority or or batting average like baseball like people have this convoluted way of thinking in order to justify and rationalize their sins in how to do chuv says if you don't understand punishment reward and Punishment you're never going to be able to complete your cha it'll always be partial is it safe to to even say it's technically if you if you don't believe there is punishment is it safe to say you pretty much think you're doing something that's wrong and that no if a person does not believe in punishment they're not considered part of am I'm saying 13 princip of Faith they're not that's my point no but this is people that in Ence believe in punishment they just don't think it necessarily applies to them or to what they did yeah is even for what they they they did if you don't is this yours or Mine by the way what if you don't think what you did it's wrong or you know you need to be punished for this therefore you don't believe it's wrong you don't really believe it's wrong and as technically how you can can you do too for it you can believe it exactly the point that's that's the thing people think if I just yeah but thing if they stop doing it people people would say will say listen if I'm no longer killing people then I'm no longer a murderer if I'm no longer stealing then I'm no longer a thief no no what you're not understanding is chuba doesn't work that way it's not just stop the crime you also have to fix the past you also have to fix the past and that's the difference between the Torah and what it's the instructions of the Torah and people's logic people think that if I'm not committing the crime now I'm no longer a criminal Tora say no no until you've done CH for it you're still a criminal because you don't think it's wrong so any given time you can go back 100% number five he must be certain that repentance chuva is the cure for his illness the way to recovery from his wrongdoing and shameful conduct and that through repentance he can Rectify his error and regain what he lost for if this is not clear to him he will despair of attaining the Creator's pardon and Grace and will fail to seek his forgiveness for past offenses and it says by the prophet you have said our transgressions and sins are upon us and we perish because of them how can we hope to live the Creator then responded through his prophet as I live says God hasem it is not my desire that the Wicked Man die but that the Wicked Man change his way and live so in so many words the says a person can't just do CH just because it's a new lifestyle like he's living in a religious community now so therefore he's going to keep or she's married she's married a religious guy now so therefore she's going to keep uh shabat about from now on a lot of people ask me that question oh can I uh marry a non-jewish a non-religious person if they promise to become religious after we get married answer is no let them become religious first then you can marry them someone that's going to say they are going to change for you is not going to change for you not going to change for you so number six he must make personal accounting of God's Graces upon him and of his own Disobedience against of his own Disobedience of gratitude for these favors he should weigh the punishment for a transgression against its pleasure and the sweet Bliss of the reward for righteous act in this world and the next against it's pain as our masters of blessed memory said consider the cost of a Mitzvah against its reward and the gain in sin against its loss so again you see how reward and punishment is constantly of Paramount importance repeated one after another as a condition now if a person's asking why why why is punishment so important for us to know about like because that's says the says the that's how made people that's how you should make people that's that's what we react to which we'll get into in a little while seven he must exert tremendous self-restraint to abstain from a sin to which he has grown accustomed to and must resolve in his heart and innermost being to detach himself from it as it's written Prophet Joel Rend your hearts and not your clothes once these seven points have been clearly impressed on the mind of The Sinner it is possible for him to repent for his sins he still hasn't repented it becomes possible POS without these seven things it is not possible to do full Chua not for love not for pun nothing you know people say no no I'm going to do cha from love you don't even understand Chua from Fear you don't even understand forget about you'd haven't done CH you don't even understand the requirements for CH from Fear when you say such foolish things section four there are four Essential Elements to chuva to repentance one feeling remorse for past sins two desisting from them and renouncing them three confessing them and asking forgiveness for them four undertaking in one's heart and innermost being not to repeat them so we see here that Chua is very deep it's not a it's a it's a constant toil on your own heart and mind and that's why I told you guys before the Torah is is going to Humble you why because if you're learning tah that means you're going to be doing CH at some point you're going to get to this and when you get to this and you realize oh man I forgot my homework I haven't done this I'm already about you about 10 15 years I haven't done all this stuff like real that's why you're still in the beginning that's why you but that's also why the says a person that's done Chu is even higher some than someone that hasn't sinned why the person has done Chua has done gone through this process developed worked reworked rewired renewed himself so many different times and continues to do it every day because he realized what's really required the insisting is a sign of one's firm faith and reward and Punishment as it says let the wicked person forsake his way and the corrupt individual his thoughts says Isaiah 557 one who persists in his sins says because of the outrage of their violence I was angry and instruct them hiding in my anger yet they went astray in the way of their hearts so again says just to stop the sin you have to believe in reward and Punishment why that's how Hashem beat people if you do not think that you're going to get punished for what you're doing you're not going to stop simple no but how has this guy stopped cheating on his wife uh you know uh even without believing uh that he's going to get punished he didn't stop cheating on her because of any other reason other than the fact that he doesn't have a better opportunity now meaning he didn't stop because it's wrong he didn't stop doing wrong because it's wrong he stopped doing wrong simply because it's no longer interest him but if you offer him something better he'll do it the only reason he's not a murderer is not because he doesn't want to kill he just hasn't had the opportunity to make it work anytime you wanted to kill a person it was surrounded by people that were could arrest him could kill him also you know it wasn't worth it yet the risk reward wasn't in his favor but if you put him in a place where all of the things to allow to to allow him to uh make it worth it or to do the crime he'll do it in a second only reason he's not he's not performing the crime right now is not because he's not a criminal he's still a criminal that's why there was a guy came out and uh this lawyer put him on uh some famous uh show to show people look this guy spent 20 years in jail for doing some crime but he got over sentence he got overs sentenced the the the judicial system is too rough this guy should have never spent 20 25 years in jail look at him he's such a nice guy that's why I brought him on TV brought him on network 38 days later he murdered somebody 38 days later he murdered somebody the only reason why he didn't kill beforehand and he just didn't have the opportunity the fact that he spent 25 years in jail doesn't mean he recovered it just means he filled the sentence that's it they ran out of he ran out of time for for for the sentence that was decreed upon him the same can be observed in human relationships when one who has wronged his fellow has remorse and desists from wronging him he is then considered worthy of forgiveness and pardon asking forgiveness is a sign of one's humility and loneliness before God and confession of sin precipitates his being forgiven as it says in Proverbs 28:13 but he who admits and forsakes his sins will be forgiven of the opposite Behavior it says I'll bring you to judgment for saying I have not sinned says Jeremiah so he who conceals conceals his sins will not succeed so here is saying that it's a person that does not fear punishment is not going to apologize if he's not going to apologize to to explain to him what that means is very simple just think of you hurt somebody it's very very dear to you you hurt your boss you hurt your spouse you hurt somebody that's important now you just going back to things as if nothing happened is just not going to work why because they're going to think wait he did all that to me she did all that to me and now they're just acting like nothing and nothing everything's okay no apology no even slang apology like my bad like something like anything no flower no nothing they're just going to act like everything's okay they're either a sociopath or they're so selfish that they don't even care about me meaning that if you don't apologize it makes things worse that's in essence what says if you don't apologize to Hashem it's not possible to do cha now why would anybody apologize because they know there's a punishment if you don't think there's a punishment you can't apologize because if it's wrong there has to be a punishment if you don't apologize that because there's no punishment that means you don't even think there's anything wrong with what you did you'll just stop it because it says to stop cuz you're just following a rule like you know like how people play a video game Pac-Man they go eat the little dots why are they eating all these dots why are they SP spending hours eating these little dots I don't know the game said it the game said to move the thing here and eat the dots and once the Little Ghost people come run away from them that's why it says yeah but you realize you spent hours and hours of your life with this game why why are you eating these dots are you getting are you are you satisfied by it are you uh full by it are you getting any money for it anything nothing we are meant to be a light unto the Nations not to follow their misguided practices remember every Jew has to remember that he's a Jew and she's a Jew we don't celebrate non-jewish holidays even if they seem harmless it's a z disrespect to the Torah and could lead to ch desecration of God's name stick to our holy tah and our own holidays that's the path of a true Jew