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Instant Inspiration Elul
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Do you have one of those children like I
do that at the Shabbat meals they kind
of just nibble here and there? They kind
of disappear and have nothing to do with
the chicken or the cholant or any of the
other
delicacies which you might be serving
until guess what? dessert, what we call
afters, comes at the end of the meal and
suddenly they just resurface and they're
ready to go ahead and satisfy their
incredible appetite due to the fact that
they didn't eat. But daddy comes along
or sometimes mommy, usually it's dad, I
think, and tells them, "No, no, no, no
way. You didn't eat anything. You don't
deserve to get dessert. I'm sorry. You
can't eat all this. You have to go
ahead." and they try to nibble a quarter
of a potato out of the children in order
to be able to indulge in the seven layer
cake that is following after that. Well,
that's the way sometimes a parent will
work. Sometimes in order to get a mak to
get some type of sweet and joy and get
some type of dessert, you have to pass
the test. Did I eat what I needed what I
needed to eat? Did I already have sweets
today? So maybe I don't deserve to have
it or maybe I just wasn't a good kid
today and therefore you don't really
deserve to have
deserve to have any of these afters at
all. It all depends on the discrepancy
and the scrutiny of the parents to a
child because that's just what a parent
does. as opposed to when you have a
uncle, maybe a distant uncle or one
that's showing up and he's at the table
over there and he's got his pockets full
of of goodies or their chocolates and he
sees one of the kids and he's happy to
go ahead and give them unscrutinized.
He's happy to give one of his nieces or
nephews a little bit of those treats
without questioning. I was in a I was
meeting up with actually my brother in a
mall. We went certain there and he was
and we went to a Toys R Us over here at
least it didn't go bankrupt in Israel.
There still seems to be a couple of
them. And while his kids were waiting in
line about to buy a toy, he offered to
my uh two or three children that were
there also go ahead and pick something
out and you can go ahead and buy on me a
toy. They actually didn't use I don't
know if it's out of embarrassment or
maybe out of that the fact that they
didn't need because of course in my
house I give them everything that they
need
not just rav but anyways they didn't end
up doing it but that's like the uncle
from afar who doesn't even ask the
parent and kind of just offers them a
free ticket to buy whatever you would
like to get that is the of the famous
rem that I'm sure we are familiar with
of
an
yes again here's that reme that we're
familiar with but this gives so much
more so much meaning to that to that to
that that secret understanding the word
I am to my beloved and my beloved is to
me or I am to my is from uncle also and
my uncle is to me and that means that
this is the month where acts like an
uncle no scrutinizing ing it's all
there. He lets it all out. You want just
take he's not checking us in a very in a
very meticulous way. He's not checking
our specifics. This is the month where
we can just take advantage of
the amount of influence that he's giving
from the higher sources. He's giving as
much as he can as long as you connect to
the month. Because if you don't connect
to the month, you're going to lose in
the next 11 months. In other words, this
is the opportune dime to take because if
you have it now, you will save yourself
from the rest of the year. And if not,
then you'll have to make up for it for
the next 11 months in the year. A
beautiful muscle, which I one time heard
of a person who's sitting at 2:00 in the
morning smoking a cigarette and when
he's finished, he kind of left it on the
couch, not recommended, and he went to
sleep. 3:30 in the morning, a one of his
children wakes up from the smell, comes
outside and he sees the whole couch is
ablaze. He runs to Abba and he says,
"Aba, aba, wake up. Tati tati, wake up.
You got to get up, Dad. The the whole
couch is ablaze." He says, "Give me
another hour. I got to shuff. I'm
exhausted. I'm in the middle of my
sleep." If you wait that one more hour,
then you're going to be have to be put
you're going to have to put out a lot
bigger of a flame than just the couch.
You're going to be dealing with the
whole house. When the couch is a flame,
you get up and you don't waste time. Lol
is that flame right now. The couch is
ablaze. If you wait and you don't take
advantage of these 30 days, then the
rest of the year you're going to be
having to do a lot of makeup. You're
going to have to make up for the losses
that you entailed during this month. We
had a year full of emotional blockage.
We had a year full of traumas of putting
up our defense systems of difficulties
that we might have went through and we
don't feel. That's why this month is the
mazle. It's the horoscope of betula of
the virgin which means it's the time of
refreshing ourselves. It's a time of
going ahead and we could take advantage.
Many people think of Elo as doing chuva.
But it's a little bit strange to say the
whole year I did something wrong wrong
do chuva. I do it again wrong do chuva.
It's a little bit of a cycle that's
almost annoying especially when you get
to my age this many times. You go
through the cycle again and again and
again. I sin do chuva. I sin dova. But
that's not what the reme says.
It's talking about rebuilding a bond
with a bar. The more appropriate muscle
for this scenario is a couple that are
kind of good. Of course, they have their
ups and downs like most couples, but
sometimes the therapist will tell them,
"You got to take a break. Get away from
the kids. Go away for a week if you're
lucky, a couple days if you're lucky.
Okay, go out to eat one night. Maybe
take a walk around the block, please.
Something. You go ahead and take some
private time together and rebuild the
bond. Reenact those old quote unquote
what they use vows, which is a Christian
expression. But go ahead and reenact
that which you one time had together and
bring it back together again. Take that
special time together and remind
yourself of the beauty of the time of
courtship when you were in the original
time when you love when you when that
love is was in the beginning stages and
of course I'm sure at this stage the
affection is much closer but that
rebuilding of a bond together there's
nothing like it. It's incredible. It's
it's has no value to to to being able to
do such a step. It's a classic to be
able to do such a thing. That is exactly
what we're doing in Elo. We're
reenacting the the vows, the bond that
we have with the we're reminding
ourselves of our morals, of our
priorities in life because during the
year we forget them. We get into a numb
stage where we are repetitive. We go
through the repetitions of life and we
forget that sometimes we on a day-to-day
basis are doing something wrong. I'm not
having and
to be in the mitzvah. So you're not
you're not the mitzvah the the the two
times a day to say
you have to have when you say it. I'm
forgetting my priorities in life. I'm
putting 16 hours in the office and and
half an hour in the BA midrash going out
and learning just a little bit. When I'm
a little bit not feeling well, I go to
the office, I go to work, but I forget
about going to the to the sh. What are
you doing? The priorities are sometimes
forgotten. What's with my fela? Have I
completely just got into a rut and I'm
missing minion or am I not having kavona
at all? Like zero? I understand the
whole file, the whole dominating, you're
not there, but am I having a little bit?
How late am I getting to minion? Am I
getting to minion? Am I there by the
time he's halfway through and kind of
just doing like burning out fires and
trying to get to where I can go? How am
I treating my spouse? Have I gotten into
a rut of always having an impatient ru
and reason voice? Always being a little
bit annoyed, frustrated, never
satisfied, not showing my children the
affection. Am I forgetting to give them
the time to once in a while take them
out to spend a little of private time
with Sara or with Ara or with or or with
Shira or with one of one of my children.
Am I doing that in the right place?
A person is to go ahead and take this
time of L to make a little bit of a I
know you're not going to do a lot of it.
I know it won't last more than five
minutes, but five minutes is also good.
Take a little bit and re resurrect the
dead. bring back that numbness that we
have from during the year and burn out
the fire. The couch is a blaze. If you
don't do it now, then you're going to
have to do it the rest of the year. It
will affect you afterwards.
We're in a time where it's not just a
parent, it's the it's my uncle. He's
there throwing out the treats. He took
us to a Toys R Us shopping spree. Take
advantage of it. You can pick what you
want. Enjoy because this is the time,
this is the beauty. And don't just take
a shear and listen and move on to the
next year. Stop and do something about
it. Make one commitment. Make one
change. One thing that I need to do.
Don't wait till yum kipper. Don't wait
till day 40 because there's a reason why
kazal gave us 40 days because this is
the time to get rid of those defense
systems and move on and make a change.
Shabbat shalom.