Interpersonal Relationship Tools - Part 10: Indirect Approach - Rebbetzin Avigial Gersht

[Music] number ten call attention to the person's mistakes indirectly again not all of these are meant to be used all of the time sometimes just be direct however there are times to call direction to persons mistakes indirectly my brother-in-law he's a real estate agent in javea and he loves to learn Torah but he's working which is great and he learns like a little bit of day and it was he went to shear one morning and he he was this learning all the halacha all the laws of giving reboot which is amazing cliff guitar speaks about how to add to our laws about giving rebuke if you know the person is not going to be miserable at be able to receive it you can't give it that you shouldn't give it and there are many laws regarding it giving review softly and it's essential later that day and he saw the people of guys who are supposed to be there learning all day and they were just like schmoozing like you know shooting the breeze and he was like in his mind he looked like straw guy in his mind he's like you guys gets it you guys get to like learn all day right I like you're sitting here just like talking and doing nothing you know i was i could do and he looked as genuine sarita in his mind's like wait wait you just heard this year about keeping with her don't go over and blossom so he went up to these guys and he said cask you a question and they said yes and he every said do you have to wash your hands after pickles okay I didn't notice until he told me the story but it was not enacted before before he tickles apparently goes like I don't do this but apparently does a dispute you have to wash your hands before any pickles we do not have to maybe some people hold by it I don't know but anyways it was a month like the Big Ma hocus so he went up to these guys did do you don't have to wash your hands before any pickles one of the guys look of course you do the other guys look of course Zito and then suddenly sitting there battling this whole thing l and became a whole fight five minutes later he left half hour later these guys are like pulling out like dimaras and all these farms they look I'm here if you look over here as I was like a beautiful example of you know point added person's mistakes indirectly right we said so how do I look in this dress you look fat I think you look Patrick how is that red dress or how do you think it looks over smear how you can get this on your ways right so you call it if your if your boyfriend just wrote this like beautiful boring essay I think said this is one I want to speak at the that may valedictorian speech right this like and he's reading it to you and in your mind you're like you will make a fool out of yourself so don't say that right we have what's called a brita which is a filter right the brita filters filter what you're going to say and you can just say Hume is so interesting I say that would be grief like a discovery magazine or something you know instead of just being again we're not trying to beat you direct we're not trying to be like getty we're trying to be human being we are trying to to rise above just human so let me tell you what I think which is a big American attitude let me just tell you whatever I think well why don't you tell me what you think with a little bit of tact so when you call attention to the person's mistake indirectly who can give me another example echo move on anything if anything comes to mind let me know we'll finish with this last thing with one more minute you