Is your Teshuvah check list complete? - Rosh Hashana - Rabbi Alon Anava

I can already tell you that today's class is I'm gonna be a jolly class I'm gonna live here with smiles on your faces it might be a little bit of a harsh class but but you still need to face the reality two days ago we read the Polish at the Kiev oh and we read there very clearly when the Torah says if you're not going to listen to me not to me what the Torah says if you're not going to listen to the Torah then we read a whole list of curses curses and diseases and afflictions and problems and the one hand says listen I'm not here to do any harm but nevertheless that the what comes out very clearly and when we don't do what the Torah says then there's our reaction as the results to that you want to use the word punishment they use the word whatever word you want to use but this there is a reaction to our action and yeah you can call the cause and effect I like calling it a reaction an action a reaction because at the end of the day Kalash Bach who says these are the rules follow the rules things will be fine don't follow the rules don't expect things to work out how are you expecting and collage but will gave us a book I know it's a big book I know there's a lot of rules in the book but the book is the manual this is the Torah and the Torah tells me if you're gonna do a the reaction will be so and so you'll do be the reaction will be so and so so it's very clear it tells me very clearly not allowed to steal you know not to kill it no not to lie not allowed to commit adultery it's not a book of recommendations this is a book of rules so when the Torah comes and tells me rules it's when the kadosh book will lay down the foundation now the easiest way to relate with it I have little kids I need to educate them I tell my little kids you see that little plastic thing on the wall don't put things in there because you might get electrocuted whether they understand it or not that's a whole different thing but I at least obligated on telling them don't stick things in that hole because hospice alone can be a disaster now they don't see the electricity even if they tell me why what's in this white plastic thing well there's electricity running in the wall but I don't see electricity it doesn't mean it doesn't exist so I have the responsibility to tell my kids don't put anything in the socket don't put your hand on a boiling hot stove don't put your head into the water and don't take their head out and whatever it is I have the responsibility to tell my kids what to do and what not to do same thing here colostrum who created the world he's the architect of the world and he gave us a book of instructions saying what to do and what not to do some things make sense not to kill make sense but to us it makes sense you know in some cultures it's a normal thing to kill so we're not going here by common sense because in many places the culture or the background will disagree with with Rojas sense to us says you can't have immoral behavior and when you're not married so some couches that's a normal thing so we can go by the geographic location of where we are of the culture or definitely common sense the Torah is not about common sense it's wise about clear rules so the Torah tells me I'm not allowed to kill I'm not allowed to kill and then it specifies to me what I'm not allowed to kill you're not gonna find that in the Torah but you're gonna find it in the commentaries and in the world to her what I'm not allowed to kill maybe I'm not allowed only to keep every when the Torah says you don't know to kill it means only on Mondays and Wednesdays I'm not allowed to kill but you say it's fine to kill so the tour comes with a lot of commentary and everything is explained why so I can understand what I'm allowed to do in this world what I'm not allowed to do in this world now or Shoshanna is the day that we're literally standing in front of the collage boho and it's not only asked people think Rosh Hashanah is for the Jews Rosh Hashanah is for their entire world it's not only for Jews also Gentiles are being judged on that day also animals are being judged on the day the planets - the solar system everything is judged on that day the entire world is being judged therefore then we have to understand that not only us as a Jewish nation we're being judged everything is being on that day let's now concentrate on our own on our own problems not on the global problems this is the day where I'm literally standing in front of the master of the universe and on one side stands a prosecutor and now the sign stands the defense attorney and starts a whole trial and I know that in 2048 hours it seems pretty impossible for seven billion people to stand in front of a sham but a sham has a ways to do things and there's no time in the world about the problem is that we're not really aware of really what's going on on Rosh Hashanah we're happy with our new clothes that were happy with dipping the Apple and the honey and we're happy with many things but we don't really realize it right now I'm on trial and just now I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine and I'm sure he's gonna be watching the video after it goes online and I'm gonna use his experience and his story as an example he hired a certain individual to do some work around the house nevertheless the contract was they broken the person didn't do what he was supposed to do started a disagreement and so forth and it doesn't matter right now who's right who's wrong in this particular case based on what my friend is telling me and I know the person he's right not the other person long story short instead of working it out instead of figuring it out then that person took him to a court thrown into court now I'm not telling all the details in the story cause it's not so important the point is that my friend is very hurt mainly because the other person is from the same show it's not some a contractor from the street it's a person from the same show he wanted to help that person in giving pernessa that person didn't do anything that he told him to do and rather did damages and a lot of other problems and now the other person is suing him because he doesn't want to pay for something he didn't even know and he doesn't even a it's supposed to get money but the details of the story are less relevant the point is that he got very upset especially that it's a person there was a young wears a beard and preached three times a day and why are you taking me to a civil courts why can't we just figure it out like to go Jews and if you want to do it you know in a in a court taking me to the big Dean let's go to the bay Dean you wear a beard no you show yourself in the in the show three times a day why don't you want to go to the bait Dean and finish with it long story short he was very upset and I told him don't you get it this is just a shames way of preparing you for Oceana don't be upset at the person it was very upset at the president tell them don't be upset at the person the person is the Shelia is a messenger you have no anger towards him have no disappointment have no air feels feelings of revenge or whatever it is he is a messenger like a large book who wants to wake you up the same with you are afraid to stand in front of a physical judge Shem is trying to tell you usually to be afraid of standing in front of me not in front of a physical judge and I totally besides the fact that even if Haas fish alone the judge will rule against you then take it as a Khepera take it as an atonement for anything that you did for the last year canonical who's giving you a kiss on your forehead and saying I'll take care of business and whatever you have to pay in the score today then it's a would you anyways you owe and I'm just doing you a favor the current is actually lived in a few hours so we will take the opportunity to also wish him to have success and a good turnout but why am I telling you all this that I spoke with him it was three weeks ago two weeks ago we spoke again on the phone and I told him please remind me the day of the court so I can pray for you that day and he told me you know as much as you told me not to take it personal as much as you told me not to be upset as much as he told me to to take it as a sign for my shame I can't I can't this person I I'm I'm more afraid of seeing him in court than me standing on Rosh Hashanah in front of a shame and I told him see this is exactly the point that Hashem wants you to come to he wants you to come to understand that you should not be afraid of a judge in a court room you have to be afraid of and this is the problem with most of us you ha special room will be cold now to a court because they have a fine or ticket or whatever it is people get scared before they go to court even if they know there are 100% rights even though if they know that they have good chances it's still afraid standing in front of the judge they're all shaking and everybody before they go to court something they finish the whole book of telling they don't like to every nonprofit in the in the universe they do everything why are you doing that because the court judge a physical judge a man flesh and blood you should be trembling like this and in a few days on Rosh Hashanah standing in front of a ship so amusing his story as an analysis as a parable for us to understand that I hope that each and every one of you understand what's going on on Sunday evening this is not just another Yom Tov this is not a day it's not even considered a festival it's one of the Aminta beam it's not a festival the festival's are so coach award and pests are not on such an app now you can look at Oceania in two ways we're going to briefly look at the positive side but we have two more look at it more the negative side the positive side is that everything that's going to happen to me in the following years decided on that day that's why it's called the horse Hashanah and it's not called tequila Hashanah if you're looking at the words in Hebrew or Shoshanna doesn't make sense the head of the year it should be called the beginning of the year or the something equivalent to that so in Hebrew it should have been called Villa Cucina Hakala Toscana Hashanah Rosh Hashanah doesn't make sense at all why is it called Rosh Hashanah cuz Walsh is ahead and everything is included in the head kind of like a DNA cell everything is included in the heads so it means everything that's going to happen to me in the next coming year is decided and included on that day which means the more that I find favor in the eyes of the master of the universe the more blessing I will get and needless to say that my year will be according to how I laid foundation on the night of Oceania the good news here is that I have the opportunity now to fill up my my bank account my spiritual bank account but it doesn't mean that I'm gonna show up - ostrich Ana with a nice new suit or new dress in your case and say okay you know what walls is water under the bridge you know the the past is the history and now we're standing here in the present this is a mistake because on Rosh Hashanah nikolushka who is presented with a very big book much bigger than this and he starts looking okay let's see a lefty straight up she nine hit and that's the previous watch Hashanah he goes one page after the other bit of tissue and giving of Tischler and now I can guarantee to you that neither one of you including myself remember what happened every day in the last year of your life we don't we can't remember such a thing unless you keep a journal unless you have some type of a system to mark everything that you do you can remember what you did every day in the last 365 days of the last year but a shim nose and a Shem has records and if you think that anything is disappearing from the records you have a mistake some people have some type of red idea maybe the some of the details got erased or maybe a little mouse came and ate the page it doesn't work like this in the world above every action is noted every action is documented now the preparation for ostrich Allah is more important than the day of Rosh Hashanah if I come to Oceania without preparation I wasted my time I mean the only thing that is left for me to do is listen to the the blowing of the shofar this is performing a positive mitzvah from the Torah and that's it but I didn't do anything so I have 30 days prior to all Shoshanna to do Chava Safari we start saying click hold 30 days before Shoshanna Ashkenazi mr. sayings to hold a few days Virgo started on Shabbat to safely hold either way you have a whole month to so to say get your act together you can't just show up to Oceania and say assume you know just forgive everything that I did I'm such a good person I have got a lot of good intentions but it doesn't work like that now we have to separate two things here one category is all the mitts vote and the sins that I did that are between me in the collage go home that's one category then there's another categories of all the meats vote and the scenes that I do and did between me and another person the collage wahoo tells us out clear whatever you did between you and me if you do the right Chava I will forgive you I will forgive anything even I don't worship even murder I'll forgive anything the only thing I cannot forgive you is anything that you didn't do to me that you did to somebody else now how can the Kailash BOGO forgive me if I hurt you Shem says it has nothing to do with me I will forgive you for technical things from mitzvahs and sins that you did in what's called Ben Adama macomb between minish am buts a person you did something wrong to a person I'm sorry to tell you I can't even get involved here so I have to understand that my process of Chava is to literally like a business owner the same way that a business owner at the end of the year goes through their taxes they sit with the accountant they see how much money came in how much money went out where did the money go did the money go to advertisement did the money go for pleasures whatever where did the money go a business owner he wants to see an account even if even if the account is in positive so much more so if it's a county visit negative you're sitting with accountant and accountant says I'm sorry to tell you this lost where's the money then you start worrying maybe I'm putting money too much money in the wrong place the same exact way I have to sit with myself and with my own account in my spiritual accountant and to make an analysis where what did I do the whole year did I do more meets what did I do after all they did since what sins did they do are my sins Avira the sins not severe the point is that you have to take Oshana in a very severe ways long you can take Oshana light-headed it's you can't just say gosh behold such a great God and He loves forgiving everybody and lets sure he will forgive you it has to come with the process and don't be so sure that you're just gonna waltz into a show and the calash ball is gonna say check check check you're all good to go just dip the Apple in the honey and let's call it a day so it doesn't work like that now if you live in denial that it works like that then personally that will enter once you're sure now with a problem because they don't understand that they need to make an action to reverse everything that they did the good news like I said the kunafa who is willing to listen his ears are open his hands are open the doors are open he's willing to accept anyone who will do chuhwa but you have to do Chua you have to do a certain action shochu are the definition of chuhwa is first of all not to do the scene anymore second of all to have regrets and remorse more than that to take on yourself that you're not going to do this ever again and to confess these are the four components of chuhwa if you want to go by the actual order is first of all not to do the sin to live the sin then to who they regret then to confess then to take on yourself a decision never to do it again but there's another component in the Truvada that most people seem to do that's a whole different reason a whole different way when the truth is a hundred percent complete this is exactly what's about to say now that the sugar has more components and one component is if another person is involved and if that person forgave me or that person marked off the debt or if that person is willing to forgive or whatever it is Chuba is not just one two three and you're done and you're ready to go it's a serious process and you want to make sure that you're doing it right because you don't want to take chances that you coming to OSHA Sharna with such bitter horn it's good to have a bit a hole in them you know that a Shem will really forgive us and accept our job but you know a shrimp can only actually accept your job if you actually did you WA if you didn't do Chebar and it's all in theory so what would a Shem except now we have to separate for one second a shame from being a great God a great father forgiving God have a lot of precedent kindness yeah that's that we know that but forget what we went to days ago in the shoe in parashat kita bo hashem says through the mouth of Marylebone oh you're not gonna listen to what I tell you listen look what about a a list of curses are gonna ha special or plural in evil or like him should fall on us but the Torah comes and tells you listen this is not a game here this is something serious so the point is that what I'm facing Rosh Hashanah the reason why we safely hold is not me asking sorry for Michelle it's me starting to realize all the bad things that I did because if I'm not gonna do that my mind will tend to judge myself favorably and I will say no no I didn't do that bad ok so I miss the meaning of to my mind is not gonna tell you tell me what are you talking about tell me how much was shown up I was talked in the last year now whatever how many times you lied in the last year you how many times you probably hurt another person how many times you've slandered another person's name how many times you said things that are appropriate how many made the ring we just spoke about Nadine brows how many vowels you said and you broke how many times you failed you know sin that is called gizelle Gazal is stealing something from somebody that you don't have necessarily their intent was to steal it and the person doesn't feel the financial loss stealing is I mean you sneak from their window at night and you take something and you run away you have the intention you had a plan the person now figured out that they have a financial loss but you can go now to a hotel and take their little shampoos and you say well I paid all her money but you pay a lot of money to use the shampoos while you in the hotel not to take a bunch of them home so this is guessing unless the hotel told you specifically you are allowed to take these real samples home with you then you have a problem this is guessing this is worse than stealing they don't know they have a financial loss and you Ness don't necessarily didn't plan it but this is one form of gizelle and gizelle is one of the most severe sins then we constantly fail and gizelle can be in many different ways how many times you walk in to a store you'll go and order pizza and you know they give you with the pizza oh these are the gravies or whatever the sauce and then you take a few more for tomorrow for the lunch tomorrow that's not for you to take you have to take what is for you to eat right now so this is two examples that are many what gazel is you have to really look back and start saying maybe I failed with many many things so thusly Haute is not necessarily me asking forgiveness from a Shem first of all and most important industry heart I don't know if you actually say it or not I know I told you I'm going to look it up in English that you can say it in English but nevertheless a big part of this record is that we do we do e that we confess a sham no began no ghazzal no I mean you have to look at the Naza each one is different in this part in ourselves it's so detailed it says I lied I have stalled I have hurt another person's their feelings I this is for me to start realizing wait a minute maybe I actually did it maybe I did fail in that department and I need to do Chua so my crew has to be very practical I would even explain it that it has to be mechanical here it's not that you just say in theory when I do Chuba first of all now it's a little bit late but I'm just giving you as as a way to to know it and to apply it it's almost impossible to do Chuba now for the last year so the best way of doing to rise every day you do chew up and you have to develop a system of awareness that the second that you did a sin right away alarm goes off in your mind so if the whoa wait a minute so right away you can change it you need to develop a system that you will you know that you just did something wrong right away you apologize right where you stopped right away you give it back that's the best way of doing Juba and if that doesn't always happen then you have to have an awareness if you said something and you hurt somebody's feeling I am pretty much sure you know that you would you that moment you might have anger in that moment and you don't want to apologize to take it back but nevertheless you are aware of your actions if you're not aware of your actions that's a whole different thing so the highest level of true bias and every second you are aware of what's going on what's coming out of your mouth the thoughts that are going on in your head and needless to say you have to do it in a healthy way not in an OCD way when I became observant then I shared that many times my goal was not to wear a yarmulke on my head when I became observance it took me three years to start wearing a yarmulke my process of birth turning from a secular individual to an observant individual has nothing to do with how I looked I didn't wear a yarmulke I didn't wear tzitzit I barely did any meets what the beginning was just getting rid of the junk if you want to know who and remodel the home first you have to get rid of the junk then the space to work then you can start fixing things so getting rid of the junk every word that came out of my mouth was a curse was a derogatory word a lie cheating my mouth Shimon ohayon was the how and I was like how can I start praying to the master of the universe that the tool that is used to pray is used for cursing cheating in line so that had to be worked on the whole thought process has to be changed everything had to be changed so one of the things that I really had my my mind do in the beginning when I became observant is not to lie not to cheat not to solution Allah not to curse I mean I'm sure you're aware in the secular world every second word that comes out of people's mouths is a curse it's unbelievable it's disgusting it's actually disgusting sometimes you hear people talk like stop stop why why do you have to every second word add add an adjective or some type of a definition and it's horrible you know and most people in the world if they will bump their leg at the end of the table right away flies out a word why you say that word I'm gonna start saying the a where the B word the a were there all these letters but nevertheless why are you saying this word just say I say ouch and cosma Shalom if somebody will do something wrong to you somebody cuts you on the street you curse him the mother the father the whole the whole the whole family you curse so I had the this issue that my mouth the the power of speech was so defected that I had to reverse that before I opened a seadoo answer praying so I would literally say something and right on the spot catch myself and and just sort of no I meant I didn't mean that and I mean I know people kind of thought that I'm a little bit cuckoo but I didn't care if what people think about me so I developed the system that I'm aware the moment that I'm doing an action so I can ride away rectify it now the next time you want to do chuga and again I know now it might be a two minutes too late but you still have a week before watershed not less than a week and not only an after ostrich on are we continuing to live the next most important time that you do CH arise if clutch Palomita when you sit before you go to bed I know it's a difficult prayer because you're ready tired and you want to crash so you can say that an hour before you get a bit you don't have to say that minute before you go to bed but before saying the text in the C do you sit on the bed and you if you want to be smart you take a piece of paper and you write down everything that you did this is a custom that Hasidim used to do that would write down not a journal rather what did i do today that has to be rectified and then the next day you're able to fix it right away and you don't have to delay things and you don't forget things I told you on Sunday the story I'll say it again because many weren't here many years ago we lived in an apartment building and one night I came home and my wife told me by the way we all the neighbor $40 is because I didn't have cash to pay to the cleaning lady so I took out $40 out of my pocket and I told her go and pay the neighbor right now 11:30 at night it's late I'll do it tomorrow morning I said pay her now because in the morning it's gonna be hectic you have a lot of kids you're gonna have to give them ready for school your morning is crazy then you'll forget then we'll come afternoon you have already prepared for the kids coming back before you know it you'll forget it's natural and now it's going to happen one day passes to date ass three day passes and before I know it you completely for not it's $40 it's not four million dollars $40 it's $40 between me and a friend and now it's gonna happen you forgot about it she didn't forget about it another day will pass another day will pass and every time you bump into her you're gonna get again a good neck I'm gonna get a stare from her you owe me $40 and then a week will pass two weeks will pass you still didn't give her the money so she's gonna start talking national about you now the whole floor will know that you took $40 and you didn't pay it now it's gonna come Roshanara comes with exaggeration she begged me for the $40 no she didn't but nevertheless before another whole building knows that you did pay her now it's not that you borrowed now that you now you're becoming a complete monster and before you know it you will forget time will pass now what now if she's not gonna have the courage to come and tell you by the way you owe me $40 what's gonna happen she's gonna develop all these feelings of anger and disappointment and starts talking to Sean around lying about you who needs this antic just go and finish the bill right now so when you do catch Mallory time you go through the day you summarize the day in a very very detailed way then the next most suspicious time will be Friday before you light your candles or man before he goes to the to the show and praise Ben hi you sit for five minutes for 10 minutes you think what do they do this week how was my week and I'm gonna it's same as in a second what you need to look for so same thing you do on Friday and then the same thing you don't a divorce holy Sh oh Sh college is a very powerful time to do Chua I know that the Ashkenazim the ashkenaz they some of them they fast on a lavash college because the voltage they call it the yom kippur cattle it's a small yom kippur many owners deemed a fast on the day before and needless to say and in the time the rest of the time to do chuva is a lonely notion on young people now when you want to practically say okay how do i do Chuba right now how can I guarantee that on Sunday when I'm standing in front of a sham that I'm actually coming with clear then if you want to be practical here and you want to be practical there's no theory then you go one department after the other the first and easiest to track is money is if you're anybody money if you are a boss maybe you're all your workers money maybe you owe the the utilities and don't think utilities is not owing money this is a it says clearly in Aloha that when I live in a country whatever country it is I am bound to the laws of the country and I have to listen to the country's laws can live and say I don't agree with the government I'm not paying taxes or utilities this is not allowed to based on Aloha so even if you have now debts with utilities electricity mortgage whatever it is you have to square it out and this is part of the Chuba now it doesn't matter right now if you have money you don't have money you still have to come to terms so any type of money issue you have to go and to find out if there's any type of money that you owe anybody and then you'll use your imagination can be a friend that you borrowed money it can be a vow that you made in a show that you said I'm going to give a donation and you never gave that donation or if you have different different bills I was now I went to the water company had to square some information there there was a woman there who came and she said she looked like a observant woman and she said I don't have money to pay but I know I have a debt and I want to make sure that you are aware that I know that I have a debt but this is my situation that's when I mean the next time getting my paycheck is she squared it out the guy was nice he told her no problem no problem how could what's your next payment how much you can make the next payment this squared out so don't think for one second utilities is not under your your obligation and number people says I don't care somebody else will pay they let them run after me don't think that this is not gonna come to an account of all shoshana and this is taxes and utilities any type of debt that you have that you want to make a list maybe there's somebody that I owe money and you know how many times you people are in a show and they they they promise I will I will give a donation to the show many shows they sell things and you raise their hand it's very easy to raise a hand when there's an auction in the show but like this later on the check it's a little bit harder so you have to very thoroughly go through anything that has to do with finance to see if you have anything on unpaid and doesn't matter if you have money or not even if you don't have money you turn to the person and you say I don't have money right now I'm planning on paying I I'm waiting for payment or whatever it is but you want to square any type of finance out then next thing that you want to do is anything that what I said before is Natalia is Val's now I know now it's a little bit hard to remember what I said to probably what I promised the last year so the best way of doing it is that you you'll you confront the circle where you live and it's now nothing wrong with going to people that you know and tell them don't all your money maybe I borrowed or maybe I don't know anything no sure did I hurt you in any way did I promise you something there's nothing wrong with approaching the circle of people that you know your parents your spouse your kids your family what are we talking here about 30 people 40 people 50 people that you have to maybe give pick up a phone go and say wish them shinato out what's wrong what if you tell the person did I do I only think maybe they'll tell ya by the way you did you told me you'll pay me for that and you never did so you want to take the time first of all it's nice it's a nice courtesy to call people that you know that you like to wish them sure not around what's wrong with that and all the way tell them if I hurt you if I owed you anything I wanna apologize if I promised you something and I didn't fulfill it then I will want to compensate you whatever it is it's the right thing to do you know in the English way of saying it's a I think this is a mensch make mention how mentioning whatever I don't know the accent but that's the right thing to do mention a mensch left mensch whatever it is you know what I mean the point is that all it takes is a phone call it's nice it's it's the right thing to do and on the way you ask the person if I hurt you in any way I'm asking for forgiveness if I owe you anything please let me know I would want to pay that if I promised you something you know vows is also promising somewhere if somebody to do something and you have to be very very careful with your promises so promises is also vows then you want to go into another level that this is I would say the highlight of what you really need to focus on because this is where people mostly fail the collage Schmo who has a lot of expectations from you first of all he wants you to fulfill what the Torah says when you fail okay well human we all fail nothing you're the only one at least be honest at least admit at least confess and a Shem knows exactly when you have difficulties and just that you know that most of the times that you do fail it's because the calash Maho somehow orchestrate it of course you have a free choice to decide what to do but the kunafa who is the one who's gonna design situations to see how you react Shem is gonna put you in different difficult situations to see if you will fail or not and in many cases the Kadosh Babu is gonna put you know the power full power and you will fail whether you want it or not why because the shame wants to see your reaction this is the next level of Chuba that you need to do many times the collage mode was going to cause you to fail he's actually gonna put the power full force and whether you want it or not you will fail in you know where you see very obvious how many times in the last couple months you were pulled into an argument that you didn't want to be in that argument and you end up cursing lying leshawna cheating I don't want to be in this argument why are you pulling into this argument I'm not interested in being in this argument and sometime you are the third party person a and person B they have a problem between themselves suddenly you somehow get pulled into it and you're saying how did I get pulled into it now I'm in this in this salad so this is one example remaining but many times if you really follow your actions you'll see that you fail I'm talking about you do of sin and if you really try to backtrack to the root of it you will maybe see that the Kenosha bajo is the one with the architect of the sin only to see how you react if you're going to react with anger if you're going to react with frustration if you're going to start cursing if you're going to start cheating lying screaming I know so many people when they fail the next day they don't come to the manana why don't you come to the minion why you're punishing yourself what is gonna do that know some people something bad happens they say no I'm not doing this mitzvah right now so a collage mogul constantly is testing your reactions and if you want to be really on top of your game then you'll notice that the majority of the test that the collage spoke was putting you through is how you react to things not the action itself rather the reaction and unfortunately most of us fail when I fail in the same that's one problem but I later on fail and a chain reaction of my reactions then usually I why they get angry and then I lose my temper in order to lose your temper it's also sin to lose your temper and to be angry and then I start cursing and screaming and then it will cause me maybe to hurt another person needless to say some people call them to become sad and depressed and or Chimel ahem where it takes you so you have to understand that in most cases the shame is testing your reactions in situations and the chuhwa has to be done on the reactions that's why our sages are so smart how they compiled this record just read the text if you don't understand the text get it in English or in the language you understand that you understand the text because the text is really instructions how to bring you to do the right job that you really start thinking of your thoughts of your speech of your actions of your behavior of your emotions sins are not necessarily the black and white sins that you doing that it says in the book this is one thing I told you already a sin between you and a shame you do the right Shuba sham will forgive you of course I'm not giving you such a easy pass that's between you and a shame I don't know the sins some things are not so severe and some is a very severe although we don't know the severity of sins one can come and say oh this sin is very very severe in this sense it's not so bad we don't know we don't know the severity of the sins but the the next level of your Chava it's not for the actual sin itself is the reactions and the reactions are already are more connected to your to your characteristics and to your me dot that you have to fix and I would say that a more deeper way of doing Chava is where did you fail in your your mission your actions in this world when you have to refine your your character traits because the collage Pablo says sinning in a certain action that's one thing but I'm also expecting you to refine yourself and you need to know as an every god-fearing individual you need to know what is the shim expecting from me what does the shim want me to do shim is not expecting me to be a robot excuse me and we spoke so many times that the main part of our spiritual growth and purpose in this world is to refine myself and each and every one of us comes down to the world with a long list of character traits that are positive you can be charitable you can be kind you can be patient you can be a giver and educator and so forth and each and every one of us comes to this world with a long list of characteristics that are very negative your a person has a problem with anger with jealousy that's being judgemental with being impatient and so forth and the collage ball says you need to refine yourself I gave you a soul your soul is a diamond but it's a dirty diamond it's not a refined diamond and you need to refine it the toilet emits vote that we practice is the tools to help me refine myself and if I am not aware of what I need to refine that's already a problem and the only way for me to understand what I need to refine is only if I humble myself and I'm able to accept what society and people around me are letting me know about myself unless I can figure it out myself you a lot of people they have a problem and they don't not aware of that and a lot of people they have an issue with anger you go and tell them that they have a with anger their reaction will be like I have a problem with anger well yeah yes you do so some people are in a much higher spiritual level than they are humble so they know they say to themselves so am I kidding I'm so judgmental Who am I kidding I can't control my anger what am I kidding my thoughts are so negative about every individual so if you're in a high level you recognize these MoDOT and you know how to open them if you're not on that level then you're the people around you will tell you that because each and every person around you is a mirror and one person is a mirror to tell you that you have a problem with patience another person is a mirror to tell you that your judgment doe and so forth if you don't have enough humility you will not accept what people are reflecting that it's you it's your own reflection but if a person whose ego is out of control and this is most of our problem we all have a problem with an ego our ego will not allow me to accept that there's a problem with me the problem is with you the problem is with you the problem is you it's your fault it's your fault I'm perfect everything is here is perfection and everybody else is wrong so I told you already most people they wake up in the morning they look in the mirror they marvel the Shh Wow look at that how could a shame made here now you know so many times when I and now that's the that's the sad reality now you don't say with your own words some people actually say with the words but you don't really stay with your own words you just look in the mirror and the subconsciously you're saying God knows know who knew what he's doing here and then everybody else is at fault so here's where you need to develop a little bit or I should say more than a little me Donovan you have to be humble and you have to understand that you know in the fights that you have with your spouse not always you alright he's not always the wrong one I always hear in there when there's a couple fighting sorry she's wrong it's her problem no she's not you're the problem so this is just with a witch spouses how about a parent and a child and a boss and an employee you have to understand that you are not always right and you're not always the the right side of the argument so you need to know how to apply a lot of the media that is called ANOVA to be humble and then you start seeing how people with their kindness are telling you where you're failing and if you're smart you don't get upset so you don't get hurt you get smart you get busy oh that person just told me that I'm lazy somebody tells you over no are you lazy it means you're lazy don't get upset just say okay what do I need to do to be not lazy it's not an insult it doesn't mean that you're a bad person if you linked all the time there's one person that I kept on him you know you're always late I can't you must be on time you got very upset why are you getting upset I'm trying to help you how many business deals you probably didn't do because you were late how many dates blew up because you relate somewhat um you're not your enemy I'm trying to help you so a greater level of chuhwa is that I have to understand I'm now standing in front of a shammy imagine now you are standing in front of your father they told you I need you to do a list of tasks I need you to water the garden I need you to feed the kid the animals whatever I need to go and do the shopping and then you commonly show up and you did some of it imagine the same thing you're standing in front of a Shem have a personal encounter in a sham with a Shem and he tells you I told you this is the list of things I told you to do what did you do that's no one enough to there the check check check Shem is not only expecting us to be the chief rabbi of the world and to be Robby Shimon bar Yohai that's not the expectations of the college before the logical first is expecting me to be honest to be truthful to speak truth to be omit to judge people the right way to judge situations the right way look at all the prayers that we that we pray you know one of the most dominating pray that we say three times a day it's a paragraph it's a it's one part of a chapter of diliman detached it is another chapter of a different chapter of dealing Australia's Verity Odierno Casella we said that three times a day just read through the lines if you don't understand the lines written in English even though the English and rate translation is not that great but there's one line there that is like the the secret of all secrets and it's just obvious as daylight it says come over shim the whole coop Hashem is close to the ones who call to him the Erica will be met to the ones who really call him now when you say to the ones really call him is not the right translation the right translation is to say to the ones who Cohen with truth that their entire being is Ahmet that's when he bruises the holluschickie crew who they met that they say his name everything is truth Kadosh Baruch cannot stand liars he can't he has a tolerance to many things he cannot stand liars the collage abajo doesn't like liars because the liar means that you take the creation of a shame and you distorted to something completely different and what I'm mocking in his to the eyes of a shape why line this is the situation why are you distorting it so the gallaccio who doesn't like liars and he has high expectations from us he says I'm not expecting you to sit in your Shiva for nine hours I'm not expecting you now to know that wine set out expecting to you to be truthful to be honest to be right and a person that their entire being is about em it's about truth then they're doing very well in the eyes of a Shem here are sinners and fire all sin this is not the point we have to understand what is the colossal we're expecting for me so those four who are expecting for me to be what we said I'm in a mensch to be honest to be truthful to to look for peace do to pursue peace most people there unfortunately when it comes to a situation they're not looking for a peaceful settlement they're looking to how can I overpower that other person how can I find revenge how can I make sure that this guy is now suffering because he did something bad to me very few people they want to end things with peace the toy is about this if you're looking at all of our prayers it's all about peace we pray three times a day Falacci when I say and how do we finish the pray seem shalom shalom peace - Volvo ha we say everyday Kadesh numerous times of session on minimum of making making peace we have built cat colony where your similar hashalom everything is piece the whole pies about peace net wise it's it's said about the Torah don't care that cane or equality Voltaire Shalom and all her paths are pleasant and peace so you have to when you're doing Chava is not necessarily if you are so particular about every little nook on Shabbat of course you have to observe Shabbat but your chew has to be am I really applying what the conductor was really expecting to me how many times in this past year have I bought peace in an argument or how many times I didn't how many times like promoted an argument how many times I was very happy when there was an argument and how many times did I get a little satisfaction that person a was putting person B down instead of me interfering saying oh oh I'm making an argument why don't we find a way that we all can be happy here so the canopic who is looking at these little things not necessarily how strict you are and how sharp you are with every Halawa that's good these are the tools that brings you to become the person that a sham is expecting you to be so that you man that you want to do with yourself and you can only do it with other people around you is to really see if you are applying what Hashem had is expecting from you and for that you can only do it if you really humble if you're really looking at yourself and saying listen I'm not the symbol of perfection I know what my bad characteristics are I know where I'm weak I know where I fail and then you're going to rectify that and this is really what you want to focus on before so Shannel because an austere Sharna don't take it so a light headed or Shoshanna is not something to ignore or Shoshanna is not something that you another 48 hours in the calendar and whatever I'll just say something Leah now dip the the apple in the honey and so forth you have to understand that your entire your entire year and everything else included is decided on that day look at the text I mean we're gonna read the text on Sunday look what it says there since there very clearly who was gonna live what was gonna die who's gonna become rich was gonna become poor who's gonna get married who's gonna get divorced who's gonna everything I know it sounds a little bit scary and there's nothing to be scared of if you have something to worry about then it's scary if you have nothing to worry about then it's not scary you know unfortunately now when I was on my trip now I met a lady and unfortunately all the people want to meet me it's not to tell me how good their life is it should tell me how bad their life is I'm a fortune area is just hearing it and so sad stories all day long I mean a young lady that that was diagnosed with cancer very late stage or 80 category four and Stage four nevertheless we're talking about one what can you say to strengthen such a person anyway we had a nice conversation I told it to do this to do that whatever and I told her in other words I know it sound I told her it's gonna sound a little bit harsh to you and it's very not sensitive but I told her you should consider yourself lucky and she was like why because I told it because thousands of people died like that with no preparation heart attack Custer shalom lolli no car accident whatever it is they just rubbed it they don't have a chance to do chew up a total sand as it is the Kenosha boy who gave you a notification now I'm calling you you coming up here and you better do chew ha so the doctors gave you three months six months nine months I know it sounds very cold and very not personal and like what I told it but that's the reality I would want to get a notification I would want to get a deadline for Michelle you have 90 days to do Chuba so that you can do tumor you can literally go up to sham I'm clean then she told me I'm afraid I'm afraid so the word afraid oh she's like I'm afraid of death I told her you know why you're afraid because you have a conscience and your conscience bothers you if you stole something at night your conscious is gonna start bothering you and you're gonna be bothered if you heard the person if you cheated if you did something bad the conscious is gonna bother you so I told her if you are afraid of death it means that your conscious is bothering you telling you do chuva because you're gonna go out there and they're gonna tell you hello so if everything would be good you wouldn't be afraid of anything because your conscious will tell you you're doing great so at night this is the test how fast you fall asleep so my wife complains all the time that I fall asleep like that I don't even put my head on the pillow I'm already in the third dream already she tells me I don't know you fall asleep like this takes me an hour tossing to this side and this side and that side and this angle I told her first of all I only have an hour to sleep two hours max then I have to take care take good advantage of the time more than that nothing bothers me I didn't do anything back to anything and to anybody I don't write I don't cheat I don't trick anybody I don't trick her anything I'm straight I'm honest maybe people can talk a lot of things about me but I know what I do and I'm honest and I don't line and don't cheat and I know own anybody anything so nothing bothers me um and I have a hundred percent beat the horn and faith in Hashem so I go to sleep I close my eyes and I go to sleep if you can fall asleep something's bothering you your soul is telling you why were you mean to that person why did you still here why do you say leshawna there why did you judge that person wrong you saw is you know knocking on the door and then it's causing you to not fall asleep no there's no black and white doesn't mean that if you don't fall asleep then you're then you doomed you're saying in general when you're neshama knows the truth it will reflect out and it will bother you and it will come in many different ways you know a lot of people their sickness doctors can't find any any reason why the sickness is nothing to do with anything physical the sickness is because the body the system is bothered whether it's coming from lies from Roshanara from cheating from being judgmental people think that understand how severe it is to be judgmental it's a very severe thing most people are so judgmental I always stand from the side and I look how people judge each other and I'm like I judged that person you don't know nothing about that person just the other day somebody came to me and all what he said about the certain individual and I and I told him I'm sorry I have to stop you I can't hear this anymore you don't know nothing about that person everything that you're saying all your accusations all your assumptions are not even connected to the reality you know zero about this person how dare you even judge that person like that and most of us is so judgmental we look at a situation the little that we know that we're judging ourselves first of all every situation that I look at is a projection coming from me Nicholas Berg who is showing me how I behave and I'm setting the judgment on myself that's why the Mishnah tells us if it down colored America would be very careful how are you judging people and always judge a person favorably because in most cases you're judging yourself and now specifically before judgment now you're gonna be very careful how you judge people so if a person has some type of an inner fear is that's their conscience telling them you did something wrong what are you kidding who are you kidding you can lie to me you can like - you cannot do every one you can't lie to yourself and you definitely cannot lie to a Shem the logic cuckoo knows everything he hears his your thoughts he knows your feelings you know everything so when you're coming to stand in front of a shame on Rosh Hashanah you have to understand this is not a simple thing this is a very severe thing and a lot of people they tend to when it comes to Torah and mitzvot a lot of who is there good god you'll forgive me so why is it when you're standing in front of a judge a human judge you is shaking they're scared because he can give you a ticket for $70 that's what scares you $70 a ticket whatever it is that's what I told my dear friend what is scaring you in the court a couple thousand dollars this is nothing say thank you it's class official own classroom the judge should go against you just say Bowl crush em I obviously all that money somehow like a logical was doing me a favor in taking it technically if you're actually reading it the text what we read we should be trembling in fear before Rosh Hashanah trembling in fear so to say I don't even know what I did and even know what I did wrong I don't even know how she was gonna judge me so needless to say we have to keep a positive approach that that we can change that's where we have the whole month of Elul even though you only left a week but nevertheless then it's the time where you change when you reflect so you take the next six days have exactly six days and you say what can I do to make sure that I enter Worcester Sharna with the right way don't think of what you want the shame to give you a lot people think Rosh Hashanah is a shopping list I need money and it'll get married I need this Shem knows your status he doesn't need you to remind him what's your bank account status and what's your marital status the Shem knows if you're married or not just say once the same I wanna get married a shame I needs a promise out to be and leave behind by myself it's not what you need to pray for you need to pray to ashame to first of all help you find how to do chew up when I became observant my prayers to ashame was helping to Chua I want to do - well I don't know who I owe money I don't know why I embarrassed I don't know who I hurt their feelings I don't remember help me do chew up and my prayers were so sincere and from the depth of my heart that people just appeared in my life people that I owed money just suddenly appeared out of nowhere can you imagine the scene hey I know you money me really yes so just imagine the reactions of some people so you know I always always sure the story with you know with my wife when she did you well she called a girl she tracked her down and she called the girl that used to bully in school and I think third or fourth grade and she told her I know that I used to make fun of you and I used to bully you and I want to apologize and the girl the girl told her I hated you you made my life miserable and I'll accept your apology this is Chuba then you're saying let me see what I did here but it can only be done when Hashem allows you to do Chuba this is also another stage here that uhm needs to allow you to do chuhwa so your prayers have to be sincere Shem helped me to chew up by only buddy money if I hurt anybody's feelings if I did something if I judge the person wrong and because of my judgment it caused sorrow to that person Shem LSM what people do is unbelievable people think that if they're strict with Shabbat and they're strict with culture and they're covered from head to toe and all sorts of basic things which I'm not hospital I'm saying that they're basic but then you're good to go it doesn't it's not enough I know people that will look at leaves with microscopes to make sure that they're you know a little dot of a bug is not there and shabbat like a machine but when it comes to talk about other people what comes out of the mouth a shimmer a hammer comes out of people's mouths the slandering in the leshawna wha excuse me that's a very very very good question thank you for bringing it up because I was almost forgot to say that somebody asked me the other day I don't remember the exact story but nevertheless the point was that somebody did something wrong to that person and he was like what is the right thing for me to do and I told the right thing for you to do right now even though you are a thousand percent right the right thing for you to do is to forgive that person don't hold anger to that person don't expect that person to come and ask forgiveness don't wait for him to come and ask don't wait for him to come and rectify the situation you go two steps ahead and your forgive that person why because a it's the right thing to do because that person is a messenger even though the person has free choice free will to decide if to hurt you or not but nevertheless initially he was chosen by a shame to be the messenger whether it's to take money from you whether it's to hurt your feelings whether it's to say the Shannara about you now the whole town is talking about you it doesn't matter that person is a shill EF is a messenger and the right thing to do is not to hold any any anger not to hold any any feelings that right away to forgive I forgive that person even if yours your million dollars even if it's a mere four billion dollars I didn't say you shouldn't pursue the debt but you should pursue the debt in a legal way but not with anger not with revenge not with the feelings that you want for him to explode pursue the dead were saying I forgive him he's just a messenger and again the thing is it's not black and white there are situations this and I I have to talk when I talk I talk very general and I'm sure people behind the scream screen also have questions I had a class like that ones that I said right away forgive forgive forgive somebody emailed me and says my father molested me for five years do I need to forgive him why you seven your video I need to forgive so you can take every word that I say very literal everything is a you know let's say that things should be a little bit more dynamic here and if there's something that is severe as a forty million dollar debt or whatever it is or ha special um something severe and that's not we so quick okay fast to jump into conclusion I'm staying in general and in general I've been general and things are let's put it in the category of normal you have to forgive I'm not saying to be to give Hitler a maximum that's not polite so forgiveness there so that's where it's very important that anywhere any of my words should not be taken literally that's only say now but nevertheless in general here you want to have not only because of OSHA shanell because of everyday you want to forgive server the wrong approach not to forgive and yes you can be disappointed you can be angry you can be very letdown and sometimes it takes you a week to forgive sometimes it takes you a year to forgive but nevertheless when you don't forgive you are holding the negativity in your system so you're hurting yourself so somebody did something wrong to you now for a whole year or ten years you're carrying anger why is it what is it good for you hurting yourself let it go they give the person because in in in a hundred percent of the cases at the end of the day the one who approves everything is a shame so if something happened to me it was approved by a Shem and the fact that the person a or person B was chosen to be the one who's doing it that's a whole different thing and the colosseo who decided that will be the person who's going to be the executor but nevertheless they action happened to me because Hashem approved it to happen whether it's lost of money whether it's lost of a loved one whether it's a relationship that went bad whether it's a partnership that exploded whatever it is the Kadosh before is the last word nothing moves in this universe without the stamp of the Kadosh Mahal any situation that happens it's being presented to a Shem he looks at it approved so nothing that happens to me is without the approval of a sham so if I have any type of an issues between me and Shem and before between me and Shem it's between myself because we just learned about it the whole Shabbat we talked about it so many times because we bred such a strong Perisher that if we do a we're gonna get strikes that's the most in such a fun Parashar to listen but nevertheless we gave a quick explanation that it makes sense that if somebody does something wrong has to be punished on the surface we all agree a person that's something bad you needs to be punished that's a normal system but why do people who don't do bad things get punished in this world if there are a bad person and you get punished I understand I understand what it's not me of course but I get punished it's not good the brutal laws don't work well and I'm the one who's getting punished but in general we're saying a person does something that I understand common sense he gets punished but why do people don't do anything bad they get punished so we went throughout the Gemara that can be found intractable hot and it says there that if a person goes through hardship then he should look through his actions bobble a dummy is to leave me for specially myself why because I maybe did something wrong I got a ticket somebody bumped into my car the boiler exploded whatever it is looks through actions you might did something wrong and you might find that you lied or you cheated or you did say you judge the person you may be desecrated Shabbat you ate not kosher whatever it is you do you look through your actions and usually the the punishment so to say who hint on the actions that you did so if you get a ticket or somebody bumped your door must be that you took somebody's money or you cheated somebody out of money or you owe somebody money something with money anyways the Talmudic continues and says if a person goes through their actions and dyers and find anything then you have to understand that probably you did what's called batoul Tova that you have the opportunity of learning torah and instead of that you decided to watch some ridiculous videos of cats dancing on facebook and instead of learning torah you moist it your time on nonsense and the Talmud continues and says and if still you can't find that these are used to remove love that's suffering that Hashem does because he loves you so I understand the first and the second what kind of a love is that if I love somebody I slapped him across the face well next time I want to show that my love to my wife are puncher what kind of a system is that hasta Shalom of course so the kenosha ba who created the system of yes we move hardship for one reason to bring me closer to him when everything is going smooth well I don't think of ash in when things are a little bit hard that's when I start thinking of a sham so the garage google says okay you're not gonna listen you're not gonna pay attention you know you're gonna be drifting away I'll make something that well you get back into focus now the collage fool who says if you can figure it out yourself great if not I will I will make you figure it out and the explanation that we were given something we talked about on Shabbat this is explained by the ROM howl and he explains that the collage ball just wants you to be close to him and the way he explains it that her Hashem created us with two components a body and a soul and the body wants to be enjoying things in this world food and sleeping and procreating and movies and whatever it is it causes you pleasure and the soul doesn't the saw wants to learn to out to do acts of kindness to do good things to do the good in the eyes of a gem now if the body starts drifting away becoming too much involved in the worldly pleasures then the canopic who gives a little smack oh then you suddenly wake up something's going on wrong to wake you up so the point is that even something bad happened to me there's this is not the time to really break the analogy of worldwide bad things happening but in general there's a few way reasons why something bad will happen to me the first and most dominating is that I did something wrong that's it and I'm getting the reflection right back at me I did something wrong the universe will turn it around and row up it's gonna be thrown at me so don't complain just be a humble enough to say I did something wrong now I'm getting I'm tasting my own medicine another situation that can cause something bad to happen is it something that I did in the past in this life and it's coming so to say - I don't know using that word but it's coming to haunt me I did something 30 years ago now it's time to pay the bill and if you're aware of it you're saying I understand I did what I did 30 years ago if I didn't do true before that then can come a situation that something that I did in a previous life you know when we come back here we come back you with the whole record and a lot of the things that we go through in this life is because I owe somebody or something in the before that and now it's time to pay the bill that's why I say just saying accept the hardship would love because the Shem is doing your favor and then of course a lot of the times that bad things happen to me is a test only to see how I react because if somebody is going to do something bad to you right now most people will go and talk to Shawn about that person through the entire town will know about it and the Shem is testing you if you're gonna say the show Nova or not say the show Nova you said somebody owes you a lot of money I told you already 10 years ago I don't want to tell the whole story again somebody we hired somebody to do a certain job he took from us a quarter of a million dollars and gave us zero I wanted to choke the person I want you can't even imagine what I wanted to do to the person now you know what was worst of all he was in my show I was the gabbai in the show the guy was a lady I had to call him three times up to the Torah every week I had to give him a blessing nobody in the show knew anything the test was not the the fact that what did I do the test was how am i reacting am I physically gonna hurt the person am i emotionally and mentally hurt the person am I gonna pray all day long for him to explode am I gonna tell now the entire congregation what he did so sometimes something that happens to you not because you did anything because the kadosh book was putting you on such an extreme test to see how you react and I knew it was my wife and me nobody knew about this thing but my wife and me it was the biggest temptation to come and stand in the middle of the show they do you know what so-and-so did it was inviting every second just to say this was shown enough but I knew the test is to nourish Inara you know how much I wanted he to pray for his ceiling to collapse on him but the test was to pray for him not to have anything wrong I would pray a sham please don't do anything to him please don't punish him look at the nose of the reason crotch milometer we saying I hereby forgive every person that did anything to me hurted me physically emotionally money this Gielgud this incarnation previous reincarnation because this is the test so many times bad things happen to you not because you're a bad person because the wants to test your reaction and if you pass that test you fly past with flying colors you you and take yourself to a much higher spiritual level everything in your life all the opportunities start opening in front of you and if you fail because you went and talked bad about that person throughout the town or whatever it is or you took actual action of revenge then you failed miserably and you added another load of sins onto your back so we have to constantly understand that bad things happen to us I always like looking at it if something bad happen to me it's my fault it's nobody else's fault it's the easiest thing to point the finger and says you did it so when something bad happens to me I'll give you an example I just told you over Shabbat we were now in in Los Angeles I'm not used to these things I don't have a car so in Los Angeles we parked the car was a meter so I paid the meter and I told my daughter every hour make sure that we're paying the meter I was sitting the whole day meetings and I'm sitting in the meeting and I see the the cop I'm like well he's not painting my car he's not a painter in fact you see people painting all day long working it I was like he doesn't look like he's painting my car and I tell my daughter and she doesn't understand she thought I'm doing like the Macarena or something you know like she's like I told her she didn't get the miming here so I had to stop the meeting I told her go out to the car we're getting a ticket okay sure enough we got a ticket and she comes in with the ticket and she tells me here is your ticket I told that your ticket is not my ticket you were supposed to pay the ticket not me anyways that the meter anyways for a moment I got very upset and I wanted to tell her how irresponsible it is I asked you to pay the meter I asked you to look at the time I asked you to pay but very quickly I was like it's fine sit down we'll pay tickets we had to get the ticket it's not your fault it's not my fault it's not anybody's fault she wanted to pay to give me a ticket why I don't know I don't know maybe I owe somebody that money maybe a shim was just testing my reaction to see if I'm gonna get upset at my girl and my and my daughter and scream and make a scene and it's very easy just look at your daily behavior you see that you like just like that you lose your patience and you start screaming all over and two minutes later I'm sorry I'm sorry I raised my voice at you yeah I'm it's okay but but trying not to get there so take this example with the ticket sometimes the kenosha boohoo this is cheap it's only $60 yeah my uncle Shem ham didn't estimate with something bigger than that but even that was annoying for a few seconds and very quickly the system that I was able to develop over years was too right away calm down what would the anger do right now what would the accuse ations know right now what I'm gonna hurt her feelings even if she's 100% wrong I can technically say to my daughter you are 100% wrong you had the responsibility to pay the meter but I ran away reverse and I said I did something wrong I did something wrong that the calash book was now giving me a patch on my head to tell me don't think you got great don't let here anything go up to your mind that you are so great you are not great no I'm talking about myself don't you so Kailash but every now and then gives you a little touch to your head to sell relax don't think you're such a great person so the point to take from that is that six days from now Rosh Hashanah is a very special time you can look at it in a negative way in a positive way the positive way of course that we're blessed to be a selected nation that we're standing in front of a shame and a shim can can and will bless us with all these good things that we wish for ourselves health and partner Sam and the good livelihood and to find out my other half and if I'm already married to have a good relationship and so forth and this is the time to fill in the the barrels with my hot with blessings but I should not forget for one second that is a severe day it's a serious day it's two days it's 48 hours even in we celebrate two days and the preparation to the Mitzvah is more more important than the mitzvot itself the Mitzvah washer should not by the way is just to listen to this vowel that's the Mitzvah just to listen to the blowing of the shofar the only Mitzvah of the holiday but 30 days prior to or Shoshanna my preparation that is what's gonna cause the the day to change in in there many different ways my preparation like Chava through the month of Elul so I'm hoping that you're ready into it but it has special um you're just now waking up six days is a long time to make a lot of phone calls so I mean I started going through a little list here but we're running out of time we'll do another class I talked about looking into money and looking into people that you hurt and so forth there's much more things that you want to go thoroughly through your Chuba to make sure you're not leaving any loose ends but you can use your own imagination and you make an analysis where the where could I have gone wrong and a big thing that a Shimon has his eye on is how much I was investing in refining myself how much time and effort I invested to make sure that I'm a much better person than the previous year when I prayed to ashame especially on Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur preto sham please help me become a better husband I want to be a much better husband want to be a better father want to be a better citizen a better neighbor a better teacher I want to make sure that I don't fail don't bring me into it and you need any any tests so just look at all these things and you'll figure out exactly what Hashem is expecting from you and make sure that your Chava is done with the whole heart with it with the truth with them it not looking for revenge not looking to somebody to hospital um be punished let us sham punish whoever he wants to punish trust me with a guy with a quarter of a million dollars nothing I'm saying it because of anything after a whole year my wife and me was the biggest test ever Maho sham for us everything changed all the opportunities opened things worked out and unfortunately a shimmer of fame he had a terrible couple years his son had cancer also two bad things which was the next level test not to say ah hahaha is to is to say see you did this to me now are you getting punished that was in a big attest to sin learn to heal in for his son and to mention his son's name in their Bishop Barack and so forth so we have to understand that we have to let go of anything that is negative so for your answer for your question in the back then you want yeah you want to make sure that in not all cases but did you forgiving you forget you let go of all anger and animosity and all the these feelings that they only hurt you at the end of the day I'm now carrying anger towards another person of hurting myself if I'm carrying any thoughts of revenge or anything negative I'm the one who's carrying it people get severe diseases because they carry anger for 30 years because somebody did something to them that is usually this big so just for your own sake let go don't worry a Shem is the judge let him judge he does the best judgment ever whatever belongs to you whatever you deserve will come to you if a person has special needs to be punished our job is to pray to assume that that person should not be punished because of me don't don't involve me here look again look at the Naza hope that result how he say it says it in Kailash Muhammad are shallow your vote Adam let lately lately are nice big big Elisha person should not be punished because of me this is a much greater level trust me ash MCS dad and credits you when you're saying I don't want anybody to be punished because of me someone if that person talk to Sean of about me so you know ash mmm what people talk about me in this city and background then I go and pray to reiterate that these people should be strike with lightning no I pray for these people to have the floor to have Yahshua's or shame should not punish them so are if they can control their mouth whatever it is I don't get upset people think I don't know I don't know exactly what everybody talks about me I know it's the funny thing cause I told somebody not too long ago somebody told me you know what people did say about you say oh I know everything I have ears everywhere I know what everybody tells about me and more than that every person that says something about me when I look at them I know exactly what they said and and as I was saying that so two people talking and they're like just how how they said hello to me I'm like you're guilty as can be how are you you don't slander me across the city all day long you telling me how I am so so the person I said you know you talk bad about somebody it's written all over the face so I don't care I don't care I don't go it now hospital will talk bad back or to pray for that person to be punished no let's pray for that person to to do chuhwa to hospital no treaters with this the person should not be punished yeah and if somebody is saying something whatever okay so what do people say things about you big deal as long as you know the truth that's what's important I know sometimes people go and say things about you and you're worried now the whole community is talking and who cares I mean I know it's easier said than done but nevertheless I care what a shame things I don't care what people think now don't take me don't take it personal I care what you think but I don't care I care what a shame things if I'm doing the right in the eyes of a shame somebody wants to say something about me that's their problem it's not my problem but nevertheless you definitely want to let go you don't want to hold anger you don't hold grudge you don't want to hold things inside of you because you're the one who's getting you you're punishing yourself trust me you'll let go things your life will be much much better you open all the opportunities to you health and and wealth and your own common you know common health who needs ascetic and at the end of the day before we wanna shame to forgive us start forgiving other people don't worry about what things did to you or took from you there's a - am I hope you have a little bit of with some tools to use for the next six days we're gonna have more classes in the next couple days to help prepare for Oceania and you definitely want to take advantage of these six days to make sure that we're entering or Shoshanna clean I don't owe anything to anybody I don't own nothing to nobody I did my part I did my best I did my job I did my 70 phone calls to other any that I think that maybe I need to come to some type of an understanding with and we want to walk in clean and pure into Oceana that a shame should bless us all with a beautiful year full of health and wealth and happiness and we should be a year that we finally see the coming of Messiah with our own eyes unless the shame wants us to come before susana I'll accept mushy at any second but if class with Sharon has to be delayed another six days so at least the next year should be blessed with all that our heart desires Jim should bless you ten thousand times more than you can handle [Music] you [Music]