Keeping Positive in an Age of Uncertainty

um from the associated salvatores my name is the ceo of the att i'd like to welcome everyone to the 34th annual rabbi isaac we asked the warren lecture tonight we get a chance to pay tribute to an educator over 40 years denver mayevsky served as our student to the teacher or principal of the consolidated high school and a supervisor he was a pioneer and advocate for students with learning differences and trevor mayevsky the child always came first he gave the students to grow academically and spiritually as committed to our true jews he had a tremendous respect for children at all limited potential his vision of excellence in teaching had created courses for teachers which was the forerunner of our current barber court department of teacher education and professional development as tonight is also the beginning of the apt's annual campaign week of learning i'd like you to get a short insight for a one minute video to see what happens behind the scenes and being able to help my day schools shine so you can turn your attention to the screen in a moment and then i'll introduce mmm the att supports education through professional development empowering our educators to be the best they can be throughout the pandemic we have been expanding our resources to they're showing a video [Music] this is associate palmettos of chicago they're showing a video now and then they're going to introduce me thank you everybody for joining us [Music] for quality education paying attention to the educational needs of our day school system okay now to get to the evening of course if you notice on the bottom it does say uh to go to att.org to donate if you have a moment after the lecture but until then now i'd like to introduce jacob said one of america's premier jewish scholars and torah and jewish mysticism rabbi jose gibson jacobson is one of the most sought after speakers in the jewish world today mary jacobson founded and serves the dean of yeshiva.net teaching me the web one of the largest art classes in the world today with thousands of students globally it is my pleasure to introduce her by jacobson tonight's topic keeping positive in an age of uncertainty look forward to hearing from your words thank you thank you so so much just rabbi reisman give me a heads up that you can hear me and see me uh-uh okay now we're good give me a heads up we're good okay wonderful thank you so so much rabbi reisman shlita shavua tov a beautiful week to all of you joining us this evening the entire beautiful chicago community gathering together for what's going to be a few weeks dedicated to uh att the associate of talmud torres association of talmud torres in chicago and i don't know if everybody knows this but att the association of talmud torres in chicago is probably one of the oldest religious jewish organizations on the shores of the united states of america most schools yeshivas steeples centers and wonderful facilities and institutions are 10 years old 20 years old 50 years old 60 years old but this is actually a moist institution that is almost a century old 90 years so that only demonstrates its power its endurance its vitality and the fact that its necessity is truly uh present its achievements remarkable and i am thrilled and privileged to be able to be part of this great launch of your annual fundraising campaign with all of the circumstances of this year things are different and i know that this begins a few weeks of celebrating the work of this extraordinary organization and fundraising for the work and may it be with tremendous hatslacha so that you should be able to continue from strength to strength to make sure that every single jewish child in chicago gets what he or she needs academically socially psychologically emotionally and spiritually there is an extraordinary insight it always moves me this week this week next week when we read about it there was a dream benebrach we actually had some familial connection his name was bianca galinsky biancola galinsky was a famous maggid he was a very interesting fellow he was a russian jew he learned in the navardike yeshivas he was exiled to siberia he ultimately came to benebrach and he once shared that he went in to the steipler gone this is of course the father of telangana kanawski schlitter it was named after rabiyakov israel of cherkas a son of the chernobyl magid remotely chernobyler a son-in-law of the middle earth the son of the balatanya he's called the stipler because he came from harin stipel haran stypal in the ukraine which was the place of remar the kaidov of haran stypul who was a grandson of rockwell of cherkas okay but that's a separate story so the stipela tells your bianca legalinsky the stipe lagann tells him he said i just had an insight i want to share with you he called it akhidish and the briak of israel says i want to share with you what i just thought of and this is what he told them and biancalo shared it he said everybody knows the story every anybody who learned in yeshiva and it's one of the famous rashees and vayetze and vaishla do something strange yaakov next week's parashat yaakov speaks to shem and he says kiva makli of arte esayarde i crossed the jordan only with my stick i had nothing and now i have such an entourage a huge family two camps and the obvious question is that his father and mother send them with nothing talas twillon a couple of danishes little babka some a couple of dollars come on you send your son to go do a shidduch you remember what eliezer had when he came to find a shidduch for you yet it should be very appealing very attractive this is what yitzchak had from his father yitzhak was no poor man bossing says intel does yitzuk was extremely successful zevel per dose of spirit level who was saying the fertilizer of yidsuku superior to the gold and silver of the philistine king abimelech you send yakiv with a stick with a hiking stick obvious question yet says yitzhak must have become poor in the interim yitzhak must have been completely impoverished there's no sign for that in hummus so rashi gives us the famous interpretation of our sages in the madrish yitzchak went with a lot he went with a lot of money he went with the documents whatever he went with he came with plenty of stuff but alifa's was ace of sun and asav sent to lefa's to go kill yaakov in route on route from yitzhak and rifka from bereshava to kharan to mesapotemia and ali first comes to yaakov and he wants to kill him apparently he was stronger than yaakov but because alifa's grew up in the bosom of yitzhak he grew up on the lap of yitzhak he couldn't murder his uncle yaakov so he tells jacob what should i do tateri said i should kill you you know an asap's family respect for a father trumped everything so yaakov gave him a shirt yaakov gave him a pill it was a sheer message he sat on a left i'm going to learn with you our stickle gemara arb there are people even when they're alive they're considered dead one of them is an oni only take away all my money let me be broke i won't have anything and it'll be considered i'm dead and alif has accepted it so it was a win-win situation alifa's did what his father told them he killed yaakov at least metaphorically yaakov's life was saved and life moved on asks the stipe player he says god khalifa's grew up in the bosom of yitzhak you know who alifa's was yitzhak loved a soviet hell dante what was his child alifa's we learned in parishes was one of the most promiscuous people in the tanach if you read the rashes at the end of ishta based on a suggest sanhedrin the incest the adultery the promiscuity there inside the family was beyond even guru yam shabomas incest with a mother and with siblings and with a daughter amalek was alifa's son and yitzhak knew who his grandson is so he keeps him on his lap what's that about said the steipler you took understood that when you have a grandson like alifa's you keep him close you don't throw him away he keeps him on his lap he's mcconaughey he makes sure he's close to him says it have stopped it to the bianca bianca so you think it's a nice story he kept him close warm geshmac delightful but tackles it was a lost case it was useless he said no the whole claudius throne was saved because of that had the lefa's not growing up on the lap of yitzhak he would have killed yaakov that day and there would be not one jew living today he said every single jew was alive today who was a descendant of yaakov avinu from one of the shwater is here only because it's kept us close to him that elif has become the greatest baltruther that elif has become robin shall call benedict has become the tzadikador he did not but because of this closeness that yitzhak displayed to alifa's every single jew till today is alive and well we owe our gratitude to that relationship if i may add on my own if you'll open up a safer er of the book of job you'll see one of the early chapters i think it's four or six that zip code says one of the friends of eu is alifa's hattamani who responds and rashi says how does alisa alifa's acquire the words of believers as were said with divine inspiration he was raised on the bosom on the lapse of yitzhak it's the same alifa's when a later point in his life suddenly develops not only he doesn't kill yakriff he becomes a baal why because yitzhak held them close to him my dearest friends what a lesson this is in life oh everybody remembers the story in gamora had a policy there was a security guard by the door of the bay sahmadrash and the security guards call me shaytan whoever is inside does not like his outside can't enter into the base of madrid became the leader the first thing he did was he removed the security guard and suddenly the yeshiva filled up with students what does this mean my friend i want to ask you a question i was once teaching the gemara somebody said rabbi why why can you tell me how can a guard by the door figure out a good question rabbi ryzen you know how is a guard a security guard supposed to lose it oh your inside is like your outside no you're inside how is a security guard supposed to know of target what's this a joke it's a good i thought it's a good good question this different answer famous girl famous answer of the gary reb but i'll tell you what i think on a very basic level pesach doesn't only mean necessarily there was a physical security guard it means it was an attitude there was an attitude of scrutiny what we would say may be you're guilty till you've proven innocent every yeshiva boy was scrutinized through and through and through we looked at him and we said oh we copped you we helped you you were guilty till you proven innocent the attitude was you're gonna have to prove yourself to the heavens that you're perfect you're impeccable you're flawless and the moment we find the floor you're not the real thing says that's not how you build tire by the jewish people he says believe in the soul of the children believe in the holiness of the children believe in the inner beauty of the children trust them empower them have faith in them so that they can have faith in themselves of course this doesn't mean there's no standards and there's no values and there's no priorities and there's no systems and there's no checks and balances and responsibilities a place without any structure can create anarchy kolkata i'm sure the levy myself according to its needs but the attitude is i believe in you i want to make it work and i'll do anything to make it work because children are not here so that systems should be able to function systems are here to help children children are not here to uphold systems it was winston churchill i think who said we create institutions in order to facilitate our dreams and then we become prisoners to those institutions that we created sometimes what happens is we create beautiful institutions because we want our dreams to be able to be materialized but then we become prisoners of our own structures and we start worshiping the structures as though the strong structures were sacred forgetting that the structures were created for the children the children were not created for the structures which is why the work of a tt or some of us in new york call it a t and t is so critical and so vital to be able to make sure that nobody falls through the cracks the work of att of the association of talmud terrorists and the associate homo terrorists bringing together so many of the educational institutions of chicago from different communities different backgrounds different persuasions supported by the federation and really a testimony to the actus to the unity of the jewish community in chicago a blessing to the jewish people may new york learn from you what what you do is make sure that every child could continue sitting on the lap of yitzhak on the lap of avramavinu on the lap of yaakov on the lap of sarah rifka rahul and leia on the laps of all of our zadis and babas to be able to be infused with hope with dignity with inner confidence with yura shamayim and with alva sister all this is not small work this is work that is vital it's work that defines the very future and eternity of the jewish people the puna virtue of zechariah review the legendary ponovichov said what is the definition of an individual orphan and he said somebody who doesn't have parents he said what's the definition of an orphan generation he's an orphan generations generation that doesn't have children the gomorrah says in shabbos curfew tests don't touch my anointed ones my mashiach these are the little children the uh refers to them as my little mashiachs as my anointed ones why because every little boy when you look at a jewish boy or jewish girl don't just see another person another child okay to their parents they're precious no look at them as a little tiny mashiach in the making somebody who has the power to affect the world to change the world because every person every soul is an indispensable note in the divine cosmic symphony so we say to you tonight to be able to go from strength to strength to make sure that there's not a child not a girl and not a boy of any age any demographic any circumstances any home any challenge that somehow falls through the cracks and does not find their own place in the eternal story of knesses israel from avraham avinu until mashiach until the ghoulish lama which of course brings us to the great theme an important theme of positivity staying positive during what some people call an age of insanity a time of craziness if the corona wasn't crazy enough the politics around the corona is not crazy enough it's really mind staggering that something as dangerous and as serious as a pandemic can also become political yes masks no masks yes lockdown no lockdown a liberal agenda republican agenda biden agenda trump agenda how something like a virus which affects everybody doesn't distinguish between blacks and whites and jews and non-jews and hispanics and latinos and americans and non-americans and right wings and left wings even such a thing that's just human it unites the world can become such a source of polarization of divisiveness of fragmentation never mind what happened with the rioting never mind with our recent elections it's an age of uncertainty and an age and a time that's gripping a lot of people and fear and anxiety the key word today is anxiety people are anxious people are afraid some people are overwhelmed some people are terrified how does yiddish kite how does terra help us cope stay positive upbeat and vigorous and full of vitality and animation during such times there was a wise old man who once said he said before i go to sleep i give away all my problems to god because i know he's going to stay up anyway what do i have to stay up he'll stay up the night anyway let him let him deal with it they say warring is like a sitting in a rocking chair it keeps you busy but it gets you nowhere back and forth back and forth but go speak to my anxiety anxiety is anxiety and people have a lot of a lot of anxiety so first thing we have to know is simply for your immune system it's important to be upbeat simply because of the virus we all have to be hashem do what we have to do to operate on a level of optimal health in addition to eating healthy and sleeping well and exercising and doing things you love having a positive attitude is essential to your physical immune system everybody knows that today so it's not just a good idea i think it's really really important in addition to that everyone is going through so much whether it's financially emotionally psychologically spiritually in the places where there's lockdown kids that have been on lockdown for months here barack hashem the situation is better now but for months kids were unlocked and i don't have to tell you how it affected children especially with technology especially teenagers and families it's very very important to keep a spirit of simcha in the house so i want to say a few points and a few ideas that perhaps can be helpful the first thing is advice that was given by a man known as the lechevich magid the maggid of lachevich and he said as follows it says in parishes hashem tells there there's a flood so he says i want you and your wife and your sons and your daughters-in-law to go into the ark because there's a marble there's a flood that's going to rage the bal shem tov said the word tava means an ark a boat a box but teva also means a word right like rashe te voice rashe te vote in hebrew is a word so the lache which market said listen to this he said when there's a flood outside you and your spouse and your children and your children's spouses have to go into the tava you have to enter into dialogue you have to enter into conversation teva as in words conversations when there's no flood out outside you can rely on osmosis things will just be transferred from generation to generation through the chicken soup through the ambiance through the atmosphere but when there's a marble when there's a flood when there's a pandemic when there's uncertainty outside don't rely on that make sure there is conversation make sure there's communication make sure you're talking to your spouse make sure you're listening to your spouse make sure you're talking to your children make sure you're listening to your children you have to know what is going on with each of your children inside their hearts inside their souls from the youngest age and the only way to do that is by talking by conversations by ongoing relationships and by listening to the best of our ability what we call emotional connection emotional bonding this is critical at this time and it begins on the top between spouses you have to spend time with each other husbands and wives today cannot afford being on different pages drifting away like this emotionally it's extremely important to connect because this is one of the most important coping mechanisms in a difficult crisis sometimes we don't have answers for everything but when the marriage is powerful we can carry things together when the marriage is weak everything else becomes excruciatingly even more difficult and more painful so it's a time to go into the tavern talk more listen more spend more time with each other iron out your differences express to each other what is going on without judging just have the ability to really be able to contain the other person because in that unity a lot of good things and great things can happen which brings me i think to another very powerful point and this is a beautiful torah that i saw in a safer called base aharen bay saharan is a work a commentary on homage by the aaron of carlin he's known as the second of iron of carlin he was a uh grandson of the famous rabbi aaron hagal of carlin the student of the mazucha margaret and he was a son of rebashir rabbasha staliner basha kalina and the seifer-based irony has a lovely interpretation of it says and he encounters the space he encounters the space and then it says and he lies down he goes to sleep in that space now what type of cryptic words are these he encounters the space thank you wherever you are you're encountering space you can't get more ambiguous on me than say this person arrived at a place thank you every part of our planet can be defined as a place and this says twice in the passage without specifying he slept in that place what place wherever you sleep is going to be in a place any space you encounter is going to be a place which is a question that all of them of farshim struggle with beginning with rashi so the madras rabbi writes in the beginning of ayatse is a euphemism for hashem means he encountered the omni present he encountered gribonus hashem is called muck in the space because he constitutes the space of the world and the world does not constitute his space so he is the space of the universe the entire world he is the space he named makkah as the madrid brings he can't say that the world constitutes his space exclusively but he constitutes the space of the world which means the whole space of the world is him it's an expression of him even though he transcends it he encounters which only raises the question one second why did the torah say it in such an indirect way you could have said he met hashem he encountered hashem he spoke to hashem he daventashem an expression that's often used in the tanakh in fact this is the first time in the whole tanakh and one of the few places in the whole tanach that hashem is called makkom very unique very unique expression for hashem we have it in a few places but very very seldom but this is the first place he encountered hashem why here why now sort he says something marvelous the name of the holiday of schleimer it says you should love hashem with your whole heart what's says rasheed quoting this free shalom your heart should not be divided or at variance with the makkah your heart should not be in a fight with hashem that's sometimes my heart could be split in other words there's a macholicus in my heart my heart is split there's a fight in my heart and my heart is at variance there's a macholicus your heart should be at peace with the makkah with the omni present with hashem ash of salina why does rashi and the sifri change is used the answer that he explains is very very profound and very simple and very moving i'm going to say it in my own words the way i understood it what are the saddest words in the english language this is a this is my rhetorical question to all of you i know you can't all answer if i would be live in chicago talking to you i would ask you to give an answer that i can hear but here i'm going to ask you to share the answer with your husband or with your wife what are the two saddest words in the english language okay so of course i don't know but i know two of the saddest words of the english language and that is if only if only everybody has an if only if only my mother would have been a different type of person my father would have been a different type of person if only i would have grown up in a different type of home if only i would have had a different experience as a child if only i would have had different siblings if only i would have gone to a different school if only i wouldn't have done xyz when i was 17 or 15 or 25 if only i would have married a different type of man or a different type of woman if only my mother-in-law my father-in-law would be different if only i would have not taken this job i would have taken that job if only if only my children would have turned out the way i dreamt they should turn out if only i wouldn't have to be dealing with trauma fear insecurity anxiety stress if only i wouldn't be struggling mentally or emotionally or financially or physically or socially if only life would have been so much more beautiful and so much easier i say that these are some of the saddest words in the english language because they never allow us to make peace with life to make peace with reality they always want us to be in another place says shalom stop fighting with your space not just geographically but also existentially emotionally so many of us are in a much like us with our makhai if only i would live there if only i would be here if only i would be there if only i can get out of this place whether it's geographically or it's conceptually i want to get out of this i'm going to fight with the mokka you know where i heard this first before corona i was traveling somewhere for a lecture i was in the airport the plane was delayed and then it was cancelled and i was very anxious because i had this big event that i was supposed to arrive at and i'm not arriving and i see the shade from your shalaya he was there so he knew who i was he says rabbi why why you look anxious i said no kidding i am he says why are you so anxious so i told them i told them i said you look out you look calm is this this the quality of all jerusalem jews they're very calm ruik i know jerusalem may be a calmer place than new york so he said i'm going to tell you a voice from the kaliner stop fighting with the mokheim you know why because the machine is hashem the reborn of shalom is present in this place the place you're in that's where you will find your meaning your purpose that's where hashem is as hashem tells me years later he also wants to go away from his place says rashi or surah i want to go away from here to get there says hashem to moisture oh you have to be able to discover how the mucklin that you are shredding upon is sacred soil baruch the rebel shall islam god is present in your reality right here right now in these circumstances and therefore you can suck the marrow out of this place here your soul will fulfill its mission here you will find the purpose for which your soul came down to the world now this doesn't mean that tomorrow i shouldn't move and tomorrow i shouldn't enhance my circumstances a person should always go from strength to strength but it means if you're right now in this machine it's by divine providence don't run don't get frustrated don't live in a what if reality in an if only reality you know why this is the reality in which you will fulfill the purpose for which your soul came into the world stop having a macholicus with your makhan yakovavinu leaves bayshava he's on the way to kharan he bids farewell to his father and mother he is alone in the world he's a fugitive his brother wants to kill him he has nothing he's embarking on a journey to an unknown world his old world came crashing down on him everything is unfamiliar there's a whole new reality it's so easy to surrender to confusion to anxiety to despair what saves him he encounters the mocking he encounters he appreciates the fact that if i am finding myself in a particular space i'm not stuck i was sent there i wasn't throwing there i wasn't plunged there i have a schlitters there i have a mission there embrace it with gusto because you have all the resources and the tools to be able to maximize its potentials and to be able to turn it into a success story it doesn't mean it's not painful it doesn't mean there's no challenges it doesn't mean i will not shed a few tears it does not mean that it's not vulnerable it may be and i have to open myself up to that new reality of him he lays down i heard the jewish world just said goodbye to rabbi jonathan sachs sacharina lavraka the former chief rabbi of the united kingdom and i heard from him once when he became chief rabbi in the 1990s and he shared something it was very moving he said he was never planning to be a rabbi or a chief rabbi he was a student in cambridge university he wanted to become a philosopher or a lawyer or a professor or a teacher he and the rabinet were kirikait mizrahmayrif he also didn't come from a very religious home he didn't go to yeshiva he came from a you know an english traditional home but he didn't have a jewish education he had to learn everything he was never in yeshiva till that point and he said it was 1968 i heard this from him and he came to america and he went on a greyhound bus for a few months and he traveled to different rabbis and spiritual leaders from different denominations to ask his questions he was a brilliant student as is quite obvious and he was an inquisitive mind and the six day war shook him up like it did so many other young jews in britain and an american around the world and he went to different people and he said that he came in 1968 he said he visited also the laboratory of blessed memory and he went into him was the middle of the night and he started to ask all of his questions he was there for close to two hours and when he finished he rebbe said to him now i want to ask you a question he wasn't expecting this he was a young boy asking the different rabbis the questions he went to rabbi soloveitrik i think he went through moisha he went to various and he also went to other people he went to having to professor heschel kapley martha kaplan different demographics denominations i don't remember all the names he said so he wasn't expecting somebody asking him questions rabbi says to him i have a question how many jewish students are there in cambridge and what are you doing for jewish life in cambridge he wasn't doing anything and he wasn't interested he was not there as a uh as a khabach leak in cambridge university he was there to study philosophy and his professors were atheists so he says i was a british gentleman so i responded and i said in the situation i find myself in he wanted to finish the sentence he didn't know how but he would you know concoct some elegant british conclusion in the situation i find myself in and he says interrupted me mid-sentence and he said a person never finds himself in a situation a person puts himself in a situation and if you put yourself in one situation you can always put yourself in another situation you're in cambridge for a reason and you have leadership skills that you have to utilize and he charged him with a mission of becoming a rabbi and becoming a rabbis rabbi he said this story this is 6870 maybe 30 years later when he became britain's chief rabbi but this is what absalom says i'm never a victim you're never a victim who would know this lesson more than anybody yaakov's son joseph he tells his brothers you did not sell me shalom sent me if this is the place i'm in it means this is the place where i can ultimately fulfill my deepest meaning and purpose in life the place where i can find god the place where i can find my soul the place where i can find my truth the place where i could find my deepest self tomorrow maybe it's time to move on today the because hashem is here they tell a story about a little girl and her grandfather was an old atheist and he always tried to inculcate atheism in her and it was to no avail she was a mayman one day he decided he has a idea he puts a little note under her pillow and he writes on the note god is nowhere and in the morning he's hoping she'll see that she got a message from heaven that god is nowhere in the morning she runs into the kitchen she says grandpa grandpa you won't believe the message that heaven sent me last night i woke up and under my pillow there's a note and it reads god is now here and i think essentially this is one of the most powerful ideas during such a time when we look at all of our circumstances everything changed i know my life changed everybody's life changed i have been home now for nine months i hope my wife is happy about that but i've never been home for so long every single shabbos borough it's a great privilege everybody's life has changed some great things some challenges many challenges but don't look at it as like we're victims of crazy circumstances yes there are difficult circumstances there is craziness there is insanity we all have to use our sachal hayasha and our muna and our faith to be able to do the best we can under these circumstances but don't see it as a nebach a situation where you are a victim of other people's decisions including china's decisions including politics even if they're all playing a role failing can you encounter hashem in the space that you're in the space that each and every single one of us is in today physically emotionally spiritually psychologically is not a random error there my purpose is there this is an opportunity you do not want to squander the worst thing about a crisis is if we squander it these are times to flex your muscles times to bring out the best in you and the best in your loved ones it's times to create a marriage that you never thought you can have the time that we have now we're all home more make it the best marriage you can even if you thought my marriage will never be that good i'm telling you these are this is an opportunity from god your relationships with your children let them intensify in ways that you never imagined they will your relationship with hashem some people in recent months we couldn't go to shoal people discovered what it is like to darwin with hashem one-on-one remember yaakov tikken philos because yaakov is the one who revealed how you can take darkness and turn it into a thila tv means connection full clay terrorist the missionaries says naftula you can take my arvis darkness take darkness and turn it into an opportunity for connection every challenge can be seen as an obstacle as a stumbling block as a challenge or as an opportunity for connection ask yourself what are the challenges right now in my life feel the pain and then go one step deeper and that is how will i take these challenges and turn them into opportunities opportunities for self-awareness opportunities for extraordinary growth opportunities for deeper relationships with myself and with my loved ones opportunities for maturity opportunities for self-discovery and opportunities to be an ambassador for light and love and hope because this is not only a time to be there for ourselves this is a time to be there for people everyone in today's day must ask themselves not what the community can do for me but what i can do for your community what i can do for my community let's be there for people you'll never realize the power of a text of a whatsapp of a telephone call of an email of a meeting of a favor of a gesture of words of encouragement and to a neighbor to a relative to a parent to a friend to an old friend to the guard at the door to a teacher to a principal to a child to a teenager b a source of love and strength and inspiration people need it and instead of being a parasite and asking how do i get from this how do i get from that you want love you become a source of love when you become a source of love and inspiration kamehameha you attract the deepest love and the deepest confidence means sometimes i'm in a space there is pain i could cry it's not easy but then i have to be able to make peace embrace it accept it and realize carpe diem seize the day suck the marrow out of this space this situation because it's here that you will find your ultimate meaning and happiness thank you very much