Light up your candle (Your soul) - Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] so we wanted to talk about a very interesting topic that I chose to name it lighting up the candles that is within me is because we are always faced with a situation that I I do a certain effort and of course I'm talking about in in my spiritual growth I work on myself and I see a result and then I somehow go back to square one so for example I have problems with controlling my anger so I really work on myself I really work on my patient not to to burst out in anger and I I I meditate on it and I pray and and I work on myself and I do my on it and I do myON on it and I do all my efforts and it works good for two three weeks and then boom something comes and throws me off and then I'm back to square one and I feel that all my effort that I did was in vain and this is one example out of many I just mention anger but it can be almost anything it can be almost anything that you can imagine you have to relate with something you come up you can think of what relates to you but we often find that we we do an effort and the thing is that some people are in a very low level that they didn't even get to the to understand that they have to work on themselves that's a low level and B they're also going to get to the point that they're going to understand at some point that they need to work on themselves and if they don't know it's an our job to actually point it out to people but you see a lot of people that they have problems with anger or jealousy or or depression or sadness or many other things and they're still Stu in that level and they don't even try to work on that that's a whole different thing we're not talking about that level right now we're talking right now about the level that I do know that I have a problem or something that I need to work on I'm saying problem but it's not necessarily A the right word to say a problem something that I need to work on it can be even in a positive thing I'm I just mentioned a negative thing that I have to work on my anger on my patience this can be also a good thing I want now to add something in myem I want to add something good and I'm saying okay from today every day I want to pray I want to pray every day and I want to make sure that I'm not missing that prayer a day and for two three weeks I'm going and going and I'm not missing the prayer and I'm doing it exactly how it has to be done boom after two three weeks p on one day I'm off I fell and then again I have three four days that I'm not praying and then again climb myself build myself up and again I'm giving one one example out of many you use your own imagination to to to connect it to your own life and everybody has something like that whether it's in the negative aspect of it that I have to fight something negative in myself or in the positive I mean we make we make these resolutions and we saying okay starting this week every day I'm reading my daily portion of and starting this week I'm going to go to a class every Tuesday in or whatever you make youring or something no anything I'm talking right now excuse me and then exactly yeah I don't know the term that you use but but yeah but I'm I'm not this is one example out of many because I'm trying to paint a very general idea now that I start something I work on it I have successful while and then I fail again so if you look at it in the negative part in the negative angle so it's something that I want to stop doing so I want to stop lying I'm working on myself every day I'm aware that I have I can't lie I can't lie and every time I have an opportunity that I want to say a lie I'm really holding myself I'm aware of the situation and I'm working on myself or or stealing or any bad thing I'm working on myself I have a period that I'm very aware of of the situation and then I had a weak day and boom I fell and then it throws me off because I I was I had a good run for two three weeks or two three months and boom I fell and the failing the ne throws me off and then I fall into this pit again and then climb up again and you see it with anything so I give one example in the negative part of it and in the negative side then you can find many things and each one can relate with something else one person has a problem with one person has a problem with lying another person has a problem with stealing another person looking in the wrong places each person is dealing with something that they're aware that it's bad and they're working on it and again this only pertains to a certain individual group because some people they don't even know they're not even aware that they have a problem they're not even working on it taking the exact same concept can be also looked at in the positive side that I'm saying okay from today I'm making a change I'm making I'm taking a a resolution from today I'm praying M every day and I'm not missing it and the first day I'm making the second day I'm making the third day and after two three weeks or four or five weeks one day I didn't make it for whatever reason the overpowered me and I fall down I fall down from My Level so I'm just giving different scenarios I want to more talk to the concept how I'm getting out of it rather how I got into it you have to use your own imagination in or your own life what is that going to do with me so I'll give you an example let's say I had a a a certain this year that I'm going to learn a a page of every day okay I'm just giving you a personal example so now my is going to work over time so I'm not going to be able to come to the to the point that I can learn one page of gar every day he's going to come with all the manipulations people this person will need my help that person ask for advice now I have to prepare for a class everything the is going to do whatever he can to get me out of my balance so I will not do my now then I'll have a good run the first day the second day the third day the fourth day I'm working like a machine I'm not missing it and it's in my awareness that I have to work and I can't miss it I can't miss it comes already halfway through the day I have to do my and then the one day will come and make me fail meaning that that day I missed it so in most cases the person falls into some type of a despair I broke my cycle W this time now strong individual says he quotes from says wish there's no such a thing nothing happened I missed it today tomorrow I'll do two pages and I'm continuing nothing happened most people will not hold on this level and it will throw them down so it will go from Monday to second day third day and before you know two weeks wow I didn't do two weeks whatever I wanted to do so again this is one example out of many that we have a good run for 2 3 weeks 3 4 months and then I fail and again this is I gave a few examples use your own imagination how where you find it in your life and and again it's the awareness that I need to work on myself it can be in a more tangible way in a Mitzvah it can be in a more not tangible way with a certain character trait that I have whatever it is the point is that my life is constantly going to go up and down and up and down now is how do I deal with it because I work on myself so hard and then boom I fall down and I'm on my face and I feel like all my work was in vain and I really fall down and then it's very hard to rise up again so the point is that this is exactly what the wants the yet wants you to feel that you're on your face that you fell down he paints it in such a way that that it was a that you failed that you that you basically were not able to do what you're supposed to do that's just the the concealment of the but really the world has a certain Rhythm everything in this in this life has a rhythm but the rhythm of this world is a rhythm that goes in motions of ups and downs up and down now where do you see it the most go to a hospital and you see a person is connected to the monitor then you see the line goes up down up down up down now if Shalom that line becomes straight then the person dies this is a flatline so the Rhythm of Life it goes up it goes down it goes up it goes down how come the medical technician did not make it in a different way why did they have to make the monitor going up and down couldn't they make it like with bubbles going up that every time it goes up a bubble goes and when it goes down the bubble explodes why did the technician the the medical technician decided that the monitor will go up and down because the Rhythm of Life is up and down one time I'm up and one time I'm down there's a very interesting video somebody sent it to me you can look at it online that it's a video from a satellite from Earth from space and you see the world world is breathing you saw the video beautiful you see like the world the globe Earth is breathing and the movement because you see the oceans are moving there's currently currents in the oceans now winds are moving a forest so all the trees are moving like that when you're looking at it from above you see that Earth is like breathing in out in out beautiful video so we see that the movement in this world there's always movement here the ocean there's there's current and Tide the winds are moving from side to side there's a certain Rhythm to the world everything has a rhythm so the rhythm of this world is going up and down and up and down so my life is always going to go up and down and up and down and if my life is not going up and down and my life is straight then that's that's scary scary because that's bringing me to a flatline that's death that's a spiritual death so if my life is not moving constantly then I'm experiencing this spiritual death so this is going to constantly going to come to present this Rhythm of Life as a failure so when I'm up I feel good I achieved what I with the goals that I put in in my in my the goals that I put to myself I achieved them I was able to wake up every morning and go to the minion I was able to do my daily for 4 months straight I did not miss one day so when I have the success that's when I'm up but when I go down I perceive it as failure I perceive it is that I that I failed in what I'm supposed to do but really that's not my failure that's the rhythm of the world this is what's called alah and then I have a y and then alah alah is ascending Y is going down and when I go down then the the going down is I go down in order to ascend I go down to catch momentum not only that if you look at the main action that make gives us life what is the main action that gives us life is breathing how do you breathe so even if you look at breathing I go in i i my body even goes up I go I breathe out I exhale my body goes down my entire rhythm is up and down and up and down now if I'm going to only inhale I have to Exhale I have to throw out some air if you want to look at the medical part of it I inhale oxygen and I exhale I don't know how you call it in English carbon dioxide so I I exhale toxins I inhale certain gas air and it goes through some type of a uh uh process and then I exhale so to say poison so if I'm going to take the example of breathing so when I go up I'm inhaling I'm I'm pumping my n with something positive but then I have to Exhale I have to throw out some bad things out of my system so I will go down now the right away will take the opportunity you failed you're a loser and what is he going to do he's going to push you down when you you going in the motion of down but it doesn't mean you're going down doesn't mean you fell down now the yet is going to take the supicious time to push you on the ground but this is just the the trick of the on Friday when we sing this is a very Holy song that was compiled by RAB cabet that you can go and visit his grave it's exactly 5 minute walk from here and and he's buried next to the Aral that in itself just goes to show you the level of where he was if he's buried next to the Aral but he compiled a beautiful song that it was somehow all the congregations and all the communities took the song and sing it all the congregations and all the communities are singing on Shabbat and in this Holy song in the fourth line he says a very interesting line he says what does it mean is get up from the dust is like Shake It Away shake it off now you see animals when they fall in the dust they get up they like Shake themselves and all the dust goes out this is the concept of is the uh dust when I fall down to the dust I get all dirty so don't shake myself I just brush myself off but if any dirt is going to fall on me now I'm going to brush it off I don't I don't have the action of an animal to shake myself but he says get out from the dust and shake it off now what's the action that's going to be after that me we the clothes the garments of the glory of my Nation meaning that my entire action here is I'm going to fall into the clipa that's part of the the cycle I have to fall down there's a reason why I fall down I fall down in order for me to AR to rise up and to take something with me I mean if I have to now sift a diamond from the dirt I can I have to get myself dirty if I'm now going to take a sack of diamond and throw it into a pile of sand or more more exact in a pile of mud you're not going to think once or twice or three times you're going to jump into the mud even if it's with your brand new suit or your brand new dress because you already see that diamonds are way more valuable than what I'm wearing and I want to pull out these diamonds from this mud so there are diamonds in the world of the kipot this is the world of kipot kipa is a husk is a negative energy that opposes Kusa and the all these diamonds are captured by the kipa I came down to this world to start moving these diamonds out now how am I going to move the diamond if I don't go into the Clipper if I'm standing like this and and and I meditate for the diamond to come out of the mud it's not going to come out I have to go in and get myself dirty pull out the diamond then I brush off the dirt so the concept is that I came down to the world to refine the world I came to clean the world I came to shine my place in the universe so I now in order to shine I have to get dirty a little bit so I see it as a failure when I fall down I see it as a failure but this is just my motion because you can't and you will never be successful 100% I'm using the wrong word I actually take back the word successful because you you'll never be consistent in a way let's say the word consistent instead of successful because let's say I made myself a decision that I'm reading every day a portion of I will never be 100% consistent there will be one day that I missed it there's no such a thing no human being can be so consistent and once in a I mean you can be consistent for 10 years don't get me wrong but there's always going to be some type of a break now here it's broken down into different categories because some things you have to get to a level that you overpowered so some things and again this is broken down to the categories where I said before the positive and the negative the positive in most cases you will have some type of a break whether it's reading theim every day or praying every day or doing something that you make a decision at some point you will have to have a break because the action is positive it's like the inhaling I have to have a break but in the regards to the positive to the negative I want to strive to get to a point that it doesn't have a break because if I once had a problem with stealing then I need to do my Chua and my Chua will only be completed when I stop stealing forever and never repeating it again which means it never repeats itself and if it repeated itself it mean that I didn't do chuva my chuva is not complete my chuva is complete when I don't do the sin anymore and people ask me how do I know my Chua is is done is the way you don't do it anymore if you don't do it anymore it means that that's it you did you you did your chuva doing Chua is not a general thing it's a very personal thing I can do Chua for 50 things stealing lying l and jealousy and I still have to do chuva for many other things that I didn't do I can be 20 years about Chua and I'm still doing chuva for many things so in the negative thing is that in order to achieve the success then it cannot repeat itself ever again and you see that the best example in the physical world is a a person who's an addict and he has a drug addiction gambling addiction alcohol addiction they the point is that they never get back to it you can be and they call themselves an addict 40 years they're clean I'm still an addict why because there's always the spark that can be ignited like that and go back to exact square one so I have two concepts here the negative and the positive in the negative that's my that's where I have to constantly battle and for that I was created and that's why R comes and says because there's not even such a concept to fall into despair because the despair is the screen of the there's no such a thing when R says it doesn't mean that I have to constantly be like okay I'm never going to fall into despair he says it doesn't even exist that thing the concept of despair of Y doesn't even exist it's the that came and added it into the dictionary that the will come and present a situation as a failure that you'll fall into despair because if you now will have an action of Shalom a failure and I will come and tell you that's exactly what I wanted then you're not going to think that it was a failure you'll be oh great I succeeded it's the that will come and tell you it's failure and then he pulls you into sadness into to y in the positive part of it the positive part is that I'm always going to have a drawback it's not normal not to have a drawback almost any B cha can testify especially the ones who are B for 20 30 40 years there's always drawbacks there's always a period that you're a little bit low that you're not on fire that you're not excited that's totally normal the point is not to get affected by it is not to be overwhelmed by it is not to let it throw me off my balance it's a total normal thing it's a spiritual vacation you have to have it it's not normal not to have it you can't be all the time going up if you look at anything natural that goes up it has ups and downs you ever saw a plane taking off I don't know if you notice it the plane goes up and goes a little bit down goes up a little bit down you feel it when the plane has these these air pockets you think it's an air pocket it's the plane going up and then it goes a little bit down it goes up a little bit down because it has to go with the currents of the Winds if you looking even the stock market you see the line is going up down up down the bankers they don't get it's all uptight when it goes down a little bit cuz it's a total natural thing to go down a little bit and go up again the point is not to be overwhelmed and not to take it to to heart that I'm having I'm regressing now it's not regressing I'm taking taking air again so again you have to separate it from the positive and the negative and this is a more in-depth topic to talk about I just want to cover the general idea that I constantly have the point that I'm going up and then I'm going down now why is that connected to kanuka because I have eight candles and originally the sages said no we should Light One Candle eight days why should we light eight we should light every day one candle that's why the goes if you notice the first night makes sense to say candle why am I saying on the second nighta and Nota the reason why I'm saying Nuka because I explained before that each candle possesses one piece of the oran so it has to be n and each candle the goes to one candle but the first opinion of our sages was to light one candles one candle then another opinion said we should light eight candles eight days then they came in the Holy Spirit Ines to do first day we light one then the second day we light two and then the third day we light three and so forth the point to take from that is that I constantly go up I have what's called there was another opinion that said let's light eight and the second night we light seven and the third I we light six I'm going down the point of kanuka is that I constantly I light a candle it shines brings this beautiful light and then it turns out and then back square one I'm back into the darkness so the next day I like two double power and then the third third day I like three Triple Power and you see that in your first when I was where I was holding I was in a very low level if you look back at your history the power of AAL cha is to look back is to look back and say where was I 10 years ago where was I 8 years ago where was I 6 years ago Oho 10 years ago I'm not even close to where I am now that's the power of the About Cha to tap himself on his back and saying I might not be exactly where I want to be the mountain is still very high but let me take a glimpse for a second where I was ooh two years ago I wasn't even close to where I am now and 10 years ago 15 years ago where you know where I was 10 15 years ago that's the power of the B to look back and said not to look how high the mountain is cuz the mountain you're never going to see the end but you can look back and see how much you climbed and this is the the concept that the candles are going up and up and up because you're constantly adding this is where the yet is going to come and put you know a a a a a stumbling block between your legs so you fall the going down is nothing negative it's just you taking momentum it's just you going back and inhaling and you're taking more power the point to take from that is that my life is constantly going to be I'm going to light a candle it will burn turn out I'll light another candle and another candle I'm constantly lighting the candles in me it's totally natural it's totally human that I'm constantly going to continue and continue lighting more and more and more the point is to seeing it is is is not the result is the effort and our sages tell us that the more the most important part of the Mitzvah is the effort to do the Mitzvah not only to actually do the Mitzvah is the effort and you can see that in almost in every Mitzvah that we have how much effort goes into putting a Mitzvah to doing the Mitzvah you know how much effort takes to make it fill in there's online somebody made a video that it shows years of the process how to make a pair of filling or parchment for the mizza or building a Suka takes you hours to build a Suka almost any MIT that you do you want to do the Mitzvah of takes a whole year to grow it you want to eat a Shamus meal takes you exactly an hour to eat it two days to cooking so the effort of the Mitzvah of preparing for the Mitzvah in some cases counts more so in everything in our life it's about the effort not about the results because there that has to do with the Kosh whether I'm going to succeed or fail that's in the hand hands of the Kos it's how much effort is put in it and if there's no effort there's no fight then nothing much comes out of it the more effort I put the more quetch there is the more fight to get to the result that's the point that's what I was created for to to to strive and to fight and to to work hard that's why now we see on kanuka how do we light the candles with pure olive oil I mean for to we can light the candles with any type of oil we want you can light it with canola oil but the point is that the the nicest way the most mud is to light it with pure olive oil and that only happens when you crush the olive you cannot get pure pure olive oil if you don't crush the Olive and oil is and the olive is a very hard fruit so we have to be crushed for the for this pure olive oil to come out so it's a total normal thing to to work on yourself and work on yourself and put a little effort and to concentrate and to meditate and to put all your energy in it and you're successful for a week for two weeks for a month and then you fall down the point is how I see it is when you fall down is not the failure is the is the exhale I have to inhale and exhale this is my exhale I'm getting out and when I fall down so to say it's only for me going down to able to pull out another Diamond because the diamonds are on the floor and I'm on purpose saying diamonds because diamonds are very valuable and a person will jump jump into the mud to get the diamond so I'm falling into the to the mud so it seems like I get dirty but it's only the the the external parts so I take a shower I'll take my clothes off I'll wash my clothes off but I got the diamond and the diamond are the diamonds are these holy Sparks this that I have to take out of the kipi and Elevate them so when you work you get dirty you work in the where the cows are you get dirty that's how it is but you derive something positive out of it the point that it's just a frame of mind if you're looking at something negative as negative then it will pull you to a negative side but if you're looking at it it's part of the process part of the healing part of the your work it's not then it's it might seem negative but it's just the external part that brings you to the next level so next time that you fall down in your level or you feel that you failed in in your in your process don't let the come and cover it as a failure rather understand okay that's what I that's what I have to go through and the teachings of R from when he says any is to penetrate into our knowledge that there's not even such a concept that the the the going down it's a total normal thing it's a to Total healthy and Norm thing to take a step back the answer is going to grab you at that point to pull you more down your part your what you need to concentrate is not to go below the level that you're supposed to go you go a little step back that's okay just don't go too many steps back once you already go too many steps back that's when the yet already got you that's when it's very hard to climb back up but when you failed the first time nothing happened let me get back up brush off all the dirt and continue going that's why it's extremely important to constantly have this positive outlook that even when I fail sometimes okay nothing happened okay so I fail this time it's totally normal point to take to that that we can derive from the holiday of kanuka first of all the motion of lighting the candle the candles diminish the lighting another candle it will diminish there's nothing wrong with that then comes the next candle now I would like three candles and tomorrow I'm going to light four candles and at some point I'm going to go beyond nature and I'm going to light eight candles so it's only a process it's steps it's levels that I have to climb on eventually I will get to the point that I'm lighting my entire 36 candles that already within me and I will finish my journey we spoke about it last week or two weeks ago that Yakov aino his life seemed like a tragic life he had to go be exiled from his land then he had he was tricked by Lavan then he was tricked in business then his son got kidnapped then his daughter got raped it seems like he had a very bad life but that's just the journeys of yob the same way that b Israel the Jews went on 42 Journeys in the desert that represents the 42 Journeys in our life we have Journeys in our life and every point of my life I take a journey on the journey it's hard but then I stop and then I SC Camp a little bit and then I go to the next Journey so sometimes this going back it's just a camping I'm stopping so I can get ready for my next Journey so we know we have 42 Journeys in our life here I'm talking about the 36 candles of my that I'm Lighting in my inside of me but it doesn't matter the number don't get hooked on the number it's the concept that there's always going to be the motion of lighting my candle the candle will diminish it's totally normal I add now another candle and another candle and if eventually I will get to light my entire 36 candles and I will get to the point that I reached my Peak and that's what I was created for I was created to go in the Rhythm of Life one time I'm up one time I'm down and it's totally normal and when I'm down I'm just exhaling to make room in my lungs to put more clean fresh new air so don't let the yet cover and conceal the truth and don't let your your failure so to say quote qu unquote it's not failure it's just a step back for you to catch up momentum and to move on in the holiday of kanuka you have the ability to tap into this motion and to tap into this Godly Holy Light to derive the power that every time that you feel that you're going down nothing happened I'm just catching momentum we should achieve our goals and fulfill our dreams and that's will happen very soon when mashiah is going to come when he's going to complete our journey and bring us to our ultimate success [Music]