Likkutei Torah Behar #1: When Life Strips You From Facades, You Can Touch the Truth

Okay, welcome everybody. Today's class is dedicated by the Menachem and Batya Abrams in honor of their beloved children. Mazal Yeshua No one is Mushi. Ayala Refael Tzemach and David Gavriel with bracha and hatslacha l'arichas shanim v'shanim tovos. Thank you very, very much. Okay, we're going to start a new maamar today from Likutei Torah from the Alter Rebbe, the Baal HaTanya. And this is a maamar that is connected both to the parshas of these weeks. Parshas Behar which we're going to read next week. The first maamar of Behar. It's also a preparation for Shavuos because the the maamar is dedic- a big part of the maamar is dedicated to Torah and how to learn Torah, how to internalize Torah. It's the first maamar in Parshas Behar. Page 78. On top it says "Imrei Behar" or in the Hebrew it's lamed tes, column three. Daf lamed tes, column three. On top it has to say Behar because in Likutei Torah, every Chumash, the pages start again. You understand? So, you can get daf mem in each Chumash, so make sure on top it says "Imrei Behar" 78. Okay. First maamar in Behar. This maamar, this discourse the Alter Rebbe, the Baal HaTanya said Shabbos Parshas Behar B'chukosai tov kuf sameach. That's the year 1800, tov kuf sameach, on chof beis Iyar. In the month of Iyar, Shabbos Behar B'chukosai, and it begins with a passuk in the beginning of Behar. sisters in Eretz Yisrael and all of the soldiers and all of the hostages and all of the families of the wounded and the wounded themselves and all the families of the slain and especially this is a ma'amar that discusses Eretz Yisrael as well. This way and this way. Or the other way? If I have to move it the other way, huh? Okay. The ma'amar This ma'amar was written by the Alter Rebbe's brother. He had a brother in the Maharil. My dad know a rav Reb Yehuda Leib. He wrote a safer called Sha'arei Yehuda. He was a brother, a younger brother from the Baal HaTanya. He wrote He was one of the people who wrote So mo- many of them are most of them are ma'amarei Malchut Torah were written by him. The Alter Rebbe would say it Shabbos usually and then he would write it. My dad There were also other writers. The Mitteler Rebbe, his son, a third son of Moshe, later the Tzemach Tzedek, and he had other talmidim who wrote. But his brother Maharil wrote So this this is what's called a hanacha from the Maharil, meaning because it's a transcript from the Maharil like many most ma'amarei Malchut Torah. He said it in Yiddish, but he wrote it in Lashon Kodesh. The beginning of Behar, which is we're going to read next week, Hashem speaks to Moshe on Mount Sinai. Vayidaber Hashem el Moshe b'Har Sinai leimor. And what does he tell him? When you come to the land that I give you, that I will give you. So, the earth should rest. The earth should experience Shabbos, a day of a year of Shabbos. What does that mean? Six years you should plant your field and you should prune your vineyard and gather the grain and then is the seventh year is a year of Shabbos and it's a year of Shabbos which we call shmita, sabbatical. When you read the directly, there's something strange. When you come to the land, first you count seven years and then you have the first you count six years and then you have the seventh year. You don't seventh year, but you don't start with shmita. You start with working the fields and working the orchards and working the farms for six years. And then the seventh year, then you do no work. The field is Shabbos, the earth rests so it could get rejuvenated. It's interesting. The idea of agriculture that the Torah says that one year you have to give the earth also Shabbos, the earth also needs Shabbos, respect for the earth. You don't just use the earth nonstop. You have to respect the earth. Today we know how beneficial that is. And it allowed everybody to have access to the field because it was like it was ownerless animals and people, everybody whoever wants could come and have access. And you didn't do anything in the field. That was shmita. But it doesn't start with a shmita. First you start six years and then you begin shmita. So, what should the Torah say? The Torah says when you enter the land and then it should be Shabbos. That's not what he says. He says when you enter the land It sounds like right when you come you do Shabbos, you do shmita. That's not how it works. Shmita by definition comes after six years. That's the shiner. For you have It's cloudy. Good. Good. Good. It happens a lot in life. Somebody makes a face and you take it personal. Okay, good. You would you would think about something else. Very good. It's a good lesson. You even you'll understand this by hugging them by introduction by hugging them be a custom of another person. It's a famous person in Shira Shirim. The fifth chapter of Shira Shirim. We're learning to look at the title you could take on the Bima. On the Bima. On the Bima. The person says in Shira Shirim very famous person. Yeah, Shira Shirim is the relationship describes the relationship. between the Doidy Lee. Right, there's the I have and there's the old those the one who loves and the one who's beloved and it works both ways. It's reciprocal. And the whole Shira Shirim is dedicated to the connection and then the separation and the reconnection. Back and forth. So, there's a person in Shira Shirim very famous person that called Doidy Doidy thick. Piskily a hoisily a yosily and also some muscle. It's late at night. And the groom the male then the Doidy is already uh I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The color the the bride already retired and she hears called Doidy Doidy thick the voice the sound coil of Doidy. Doidy is my beloved one. Right, I need a Doidy my beloved one. Doidy from the word you did this friendship connection. Called Doidy Doidy thick. Doidy is pounding. He's banging. Clapped up and teddy's knocking on the door. Open up the door for me, my sister. That's what he's pleading. Open up the door. Open it up for me. My my sister. My means my spouse, my wife. Or my shepherd. My dove, like you are not a dove. And is my twin. To my twin. So four expressions. This really I don't know what to say to myself. And he refuses, right? He says I'm sorry, she refused. She says I don't want to be. I don't know what to say to myself. I don't know what to say to myself. I already took off my shirt. I already went to sleep. I don't know what to say to myself. Now you want me to get dressed again, I can't. I already bathed my feet. I washed my feet, my legs. I don't know what to say to myself. Why should I get them dirty? I'm going to get out of bed. You have to walk on the earth. The earth then wasn't like our floors, the clean floors. It's earth, real earth. I don't know what to say to myself. I worked so hard to clean up to clean myself, and now you want them to get dirty. So she refuses to open up the door. That's what he describes. I don't know what to say to myself. So Dodi sends forth his hand from the hole. There's a hole, there's a little crevice, a little opening. He sends forth his hand to open the door himself. And may I humble myself. Humble may I myself. My intestines become stirred from excitement, from emotion that he's opening the door. Visceral, yeah. Humble may I myself. Humble may I myself. By the time she goes to open, already he's he's gone. That's the that's the the in K. She says like this. I don't know what to say to myself. I don't know what to say to myself. I don't know what to say to myself. I don't know what to say to myself. I don't know what to say to myself. I don't know what to say to myself. this is wrong. The metaphor is that I shall speak to Israel. To the gathering of Israel, to the souls of Israel. And he says peace really. Open up the door to T goodness of the Yossi. In order you should be able to experience we should be able to experience the fact that you're a you're my sister and Yossi you're my spouse. But Yossi can also mean my shepherd the stupid in in the castle. Yossi is my wife. Like my friend, my best friend like a right best friend. And Yossi is from the word so that says it's not just giving he's not just giving titles basically he said peace so that you could be a you could feel that you know what I'm saying. I come to sit on the class what do you have to open the door? The soul is always called Yossi even if they don't open the door. I mean call my friend I'm sure it's going to be a problem because I must have this. The difference is if it's visceral like you say if it's revealed if it's manifested or if it's eclipsed. You're always in a state of Yossi but it could be covered up Mr. Terrace. Means hidden right after the Hester and the Google means it's the Google it's revealed it's exposed. For the peace key. That's why the word is peace key with the word peace key means from the word pass out. Pass out is an opening right pass out the opening of the night. I'll pass out the door the door is a pass out from the word out. Peace out why because the door is what opens up the gate it opens up and creates the entrance for you to go. And so, what's the Pischu Li? So, now we understand it much deeper. It's not just open up the door for me, my sister. You're always But, it could be concealed. You don't even know it. I know it, but you don't know it. I believe in you, but you don't believe in yourself. Pischu Li, let's open up. What do we have to open up? We have to open the blockages, remove the remove the So, there's a wall. Let's create a door. Let's create an opening. So, you remove the blockage. So, now it could be could be revealed. What's my instant? has a on these words, you know. So, you're saying based on the teaching of my man here you understand the much better. You think it's better. You also see the of it's not just open up the door, my sister. Through the Li, you can experience that cuz it's there. It's always there. That doesn't change. The reality is always there. That's a given. You can't even obliterate it if you try to. That's the mile of it being concealed, right? There's something advantageous There's a something There's an advantage in it being concealed that you can't tamper with it. It's there. The question is if it's going to be an open of if it's going to be open. So this is to understand two things he says. First of all, what does this mean when it's revealed? What does it look like? What's the most? Most comes in the word most is the essence. What is most what is something like most to understand the most of this of this state when it's revealed, what is its core? What is its essence? And a second thing is what is the blockage that blocks it? There's an expression. I think it's towards the end. Equal Alexandrian an Alexandrian knot. It was a type of a knot that was practiced in Egypt. I believe. So the word my sister it comes from the word equal. Actually says over there that that that equal means when you connect two things. You connect two things actually says it's a perfect knot. And what makes it what makes it called an equal that you don't notice that it was disconnected. It's so good. You know sometimes you sew two things together. You do so you do it so skillfully you can't even notice that there was a disconnection. You don't even notice it. That's what it says is equal is that it it was here you think it was never the and it was never the and it never any other way. So that's that's not just a knot. You can make a knot but it's a real professional it's a real professional knot. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's two things that were connected, but the fusing was done very skillfully. You fuse two things together to become one like it was one body, one one entity. That's what the word equal in its ultimate meaning means they become like a like one go. Like no like no no separation. Huh? Yeah, could be that too, yeah. Saying when you weld when you weld metal. Say it in English? I should say it. What's the meaning? Oh, what it means? Well, that's what he's going to explain, but but that's that's going to be the good of the mind. What it means, yeah. I mean the main here is what we already know is that the sometimes a person is in a state of being, but it's completely concealed. In other words, I myself don't know it. I don't I have no awareness of it. So therefore I have no access to it. I certainly can't live with it because I don't I'm not even aware of it. It's there. It affects me. It impacts me. But it's in a state that is I'm not cognizant of it. Yeah, super conscious super conscious, yeah. That means subconscious or superconscious maybe call it superconscious. And without the I would never know about it. So you're not creating anything. You're just opening windows. You're opening doors to be able to experience it. So, the first is a chosid. A chosid is connection of two things that were separate or could seem separate and they become one. And that's why we use the word a chosid for my sister. My sibling, a chosid. Ach, a chosid is a brother and a sister cuz a brother and a sister is not you, it's separate people. But you come from one source, you come from the same father and mother. So, there's a very deep connection over there. The connection between siblings. How much it's manifested in daily life, that's already a separate avodah. You know, that already depends on so many different factors, but essentially there's a connection because it comes from a guf echad, it comes from the same mother, it comes from the same father. You share the genetic the generic heritage of ancestors, of parents and grandparents, etc. So, that's the concept of ach and a chosid. Ach and a chosid comes from the word ichud. The kacha d'erech mashal, this is a mashal inyan avah tivus sheb'nefashos Yisrael. Mimakor chitzvon she'ein chelek Elokah mima'al mamash umichad b'tachlis ha'ichud b'ein seichel umamash. There's the avah tivus, there's a natural, which means ingrained, embedded love in nefashos Yisrael, in all of the souls of Yisrael, and it comes mimakor chitzvon because of the source from which where these souls were muchatzav. Muchatzav means from which they were honed. Right, a muchatzav is when you chisel rock from a from a quarry. You take you chisel it out, you hone out the rock. So, mimakor chitzvon, from where the souls were chiseled out, from where they came from, there's an avah tivus, there's an embedded love in nefashos Yisrael. What we would call today it's in the DNA of the soul. It's it's it's essential. It's tevah, it's bitavah dehu, because each soul is a chelek Elokah mima'al mamash. It's a derivative of infinite consciousness. It's derivative, it's a chelek means derivative, it's a manifestation of Elokah v'Ashem mima'al. Of Hashem who was up there mamash and it's literal, it's not just an exaggeration or the totality of Ein Sof mamash. And therefore they're completely one in the ultimate unity with the light of infinite with the light of the infinite one blessed be he and again he uses again the word mamash. Therefore since this is where the soul come comes from is the matter even down here after the soul is embodied after it comes from Ein Sof mamash. After the soul goes through what's called a Briah it's created may I only yesh from a place of Ein Ein means nothingness where it's not tangible, it's beyond reality what we call reality. Ein Ein means nothing nothingness. Ein is garnished. Really doesn't mean garnished, it means the source of everything, right? Ein is nothingness, it's not a thing, it's the source of all things. Tissue is a thing, this is a yesh. Ein sounds like nothing, it means no thing, it's not a thing. So even after the nishamas go out from a place of Ein Sof and they become a Briah may I only yesh are the matter matter furthermore second stages, they come down and how much do they come down? They come down matter matter lower and lower le slabish and not only that, they don't just come down. Now they go into a bush to become dressed up with something else. You see all the stages of a nishama and this is not what you're going through. This is where all anxiety comes from by the way. Le slabish now goes through a third thing. It's not just that it comes down low low. It dials it out of the sight. Now it gets dressed up as something else. Now you're wearing a Purim costume. I don't even know who you are. Le slabish with the nefesh now it's in a body and in a biological soul which we call an animal consciousness. So understand what the nishama the journey of a nishama is a is a drastic journey. Essentially it's one with ain soph mamash. It's pure infinite consciousness and that's the reality. It's not This is not drama. That's why he keeps on using the word mamash. It's not drama to make people feel good. It's the truth of what the neshama is. And the first thing the neshama goes through a briah mayan liyesh. Because ain soph is called ayin. How do we define infinity? Garnished, nothing. Nothing, right? What's there to define? You want to talk about a table? That is a yesh. A couple of dollars is a yesh. Fine. A cup of coffee maybe is a yesh, but ayin versus ayin? So, the first thing the neshama goes through a stage of becoming a briah. That's what the alter rebbe explains in many in the some of the mymerim we say in the morning neshama she nasata bi tohorah hi. Atah verasa yitzarta venafachta neshama bekirbi. So, he asks the first thing he should have said is Elokai neshama she nasata bi atah verasa. You created it and then say it's pure. First tell me you created No, first you say it's pure and by the way you created it. The first thing is you created it and say, "What did you create?" You didn't create something impure. You created tohorah. It's mashma the alter rebbe says that tohorah hi is before atah verasa. Tohorah hi is precedes atah verasa. Cuz tohorah in Aramaic, tohorah doesn't mean pure, means light. Tehiru tehiru shlaga betiya ramaya hani. Betiya means light. Neshama she nasata bi tohorah hi. It's ohr ain soph mamash. After that, atah verasa. Now comes a a gantz a maiseh. Atah verasa became a briah, atah yetzarta, atah nafachta bi and now is a chiddush atah meshama bekirbi. So, that's what he's saying here. So, first it becomes a briah mayan yesh. Then it goes down matta matta. Not only that, now it's dressed up in a costume. What's the costume? It's embodied in the gufa nefesh and when I look at myself, I may not even see what's behind the lavush. Like you look at somebody, I just see your garments. I don't see what's behind the garments. And sometimes you also don't see what's behind the garments. You know the maiseh though, they say a maiseh from Chelem, you know, these Chelem stories. There was once a Yid from Chelem and uh he was on a train and he was going home. So he asked the conductor that when the the train stops in a city that's closest to Chelem, he should wake him up a few minutes before cuz it was a journey throughout the night. Not to come there like 4:00 in the morning, he should wake him up before and uh he'll be able to get out on the right stop. In the same cabin, there was a Russian general who was also uh was also there. And they both took off their clothes and they went to sleep. The conductor, instead of waking up instead of uh I'm sorry, the conductor wakes up the this Jew. I just ruined it. Okay. The conductor wakes up the Jew. This Chelem Jew, and it's dark. So instead of putting on his own clothes, he puts on the clothes of the Russian general. He comes home. His wife looks at him. Says, "Yankel, bist meshugge geworden? What you went crazy? What's what's going on?" She says, "What did she say? Look in the mirror." He takes a look in the mirror and he sees this uh very handsome Russian general. So he tells his wife, "Yeah, the Russian conductors are batlanim." Why? He woke up the Russian general instead of me. So for for the Chelem, it's a joke, but in life it's not such a joke. You understand? How much do I know myself from my levushin? And how much do I know myself from what's beyond my levushin? Sometimes, we're not only talking about physical clothes. I know that I'm not a suit or or a tie. Maybe some people also have a problem with that. You know, how much how much am I defined by clothes? But we're talking here about other clothes, you know, this he's talking here about a serious Lavush, not just physical clothes, it's psychological clothes. So that the Neshama comes into a whole Lavush. So the Khidush is that even after to the Neshama atzmuta market is a coming out mama so it's ain't safe so there's an active is but because of that even the matter matter even when it goes through this whole process Zoisy midas at tzadikim mitzad nefesh kisha bikirbom kheshka much the skull only bottle of this is a love is better close on nefesh mama I'm going to do it The definition Zoisy midas at tzadikim definition The midas at tzadikim midas at tzadikim means people that are really in touch with themselves says that they don't compromise their identity from pre shmayain after the same the same purity the same state of consciousness that they have in the deepest place of their existence they have even when they're embodied right here in in the goofen and the this it doesn't change they're not ready to give that up they're not ready to unplug and disrupt that flow of consciousness that state of oneness that's essentially describing you what a what the Neshama what what's midas at tzadikim midas at tzadikim means that you're never ready to detach from who you are He's not going to I there's a lot of things going on in the world there are that's the point first of all the Neshama becomes a Nivera second of all it goes down the matter matter third of all it gets dressed up in the goofen and the this but I'm still in touch completely aligned without any disruption. Not that not disconnected from that disconnected from Yeah the tzadik is does will not allow himself to be disconnected from himself or herself. It happens to be that the self is a Khiluk Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is the assignment. It says in Seder this Dveikus in Hashem It's the It's another way of saying not to be disconnected from yourself. I wouldn't call it being egocentric. You mean egocentric in a good way. But but the word is not egocentric because at the core of the self there's no ego. You understand? Egocentric is only when I don't know who I am. Because I don't know who I am Because I don't know who I am, so my ego has to take over as it's like a counterfeit money. I don't have a real dollar, so I have to create a fake dollar and I try to do business with it. The problem is every day they catch me, so I create a new dollar and I think I won't get caught. Cuz by definition it's counterfeit. It's a counterfeit identity. Whenever we live with ego, we're always have to create new dollars, you know, we have this because it's counterfeit. Because it's so so Whether you hold if it's me to take her it's not going to work. It's forged. So it means that the alignment remains intact. Alignment means There's no dissonance. There's no dissonance is period. There's no separation. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just using the words so So I would just Yeah. Yeah. You're right. But that's literally because it means sadikim because Because of the sadikim because they remain consciously connected to that. They will not disrupt that vey cos. That's what it is. It's really to remain in that place. I'm never going to detach. I'm never going to unplug myself from being a channel of ain soif. 24/7. It's not we you know we say madregas madregas. Not madregas, it's reality. That's that's the when the old rebbe talks about it, it's called being normal. What do I mean being normal? What are you What are you talking about? Being really normal. Really normal means he's an embodiment. He's going to remain an embodiment of who he is. He's not going to allow all the journeys You know how people sometimes go on a trip and they lose themselves completely. You know what I mean? The Gamorah says "Tchilas shinu'i veso's is tchilas choli." The beginning of illness is changing your schedule. You know what I mean? Sometimes people have a very good schedule and then they go here, they go there and it takes them a week to figure out the situation and in the meantime there was chaos. So the journey of the tzadik, the journey of the neshama, it creates so much chaos and confusion. He remains anchored. This is who I am. So now I'm in a guf and a shabbos, I came down the mata mata, I became I may I only yesh. All It's interesting stuff. It's an experiment. It's an experience. But he remains completely aligned with the essence and therefore it's 24/7 cuz why shouldn't it be 24/7? It's like you'll tell me yeah it's called breathing. It's like you'll tell a fish it's not a madregas for a fish to stay in the water. That's what I'm trying to bring out. Not what they were minimizing sadikim for shalom but the opposite. We're mini We're mini We're We're minimizing the drama that sadikim is a something that don't talk to me. I'm going to a moment. No, it's normal for a fish to stay in water. It's normal for a person to breathe. You don't say I breathe, you know, 6 days a week. Seventh day I need a vacation. You don't need a vacation. You don't need a vacation, right? Like the fish is muscle, the fish in water and it's broches, the end of broches. The fish is famous muscle. What was the point of his muscle? This is my oxygen. You want me you want me what? I should get rid of my oxygen. I should pull out the plugs so now I don't have oxygen. So now what? You know we have to call what every 20 seconds? What what do you want from me? Do I see the chicken? That I'm going to remain connected to the source of my oxygen. I'm going to remain who I am. That's what he says. It's a fish in the kitchen cuz they're aware of the divine soul inside of them. So their desire is always to be aware of the sham. The scallop from the word cloud to be subsumed in the sham. And he uses the word bottle to see us. I love you that's the fish. The fish is not to have a fish outside of inside. Cuz outside of inside is already not who they are. If you want me to be me do me a favor. Don't notice me. It's like taking going to a fish and telling the fish, you know what? You don't have any covered. Let me take you out of the water. We'll honor you at a dinner. We'll put you up on the stage. We'll take pictures. We'll send it out on what? What's the fish going to tell you? Two minutes can I tell you this? Two minutes can I tell you this? Don't take pictures of me. Don't bring me up. Don't make me famous. Why not? Cuz you're going to kill me. Two minutes can I tell you this? You understand? When you talk to somebody who's looking for the fish and you say come let me let me let me to get in cover. People think that when you don't see this you could think that cover is sign. Like I was once upset a big event so there was so one year gave his place there was a honor he gave it away to to the other. So the So the other one said I wish a message is nervous. That's a good man. I know what a message is nervous. It was that he he gave up this uh Good. So he was honest. He was honest, but when you look at this, you totally understand that's Sometimes I wear a kid wears a pamper, right? So you do what you do in a pamper, but you don't have to celebrate it. You don't have to celebrate it. Fine. It's part of being a human being, but you have to know what what's yeah, what's not. When you understand when you understand what a neshama is, bitter mercy is is the most normal thing. Everything else is just because I don't know who I am and I I need an ego. So therefore, now you'll give me more covered, you'll give me less covered. But that's what he's saying. It's the whole Indian is not type of smoking. The whole thing is is it's not just a joke, it's a tragedy. You want to kill me by focusing its attention to itself outside of bitter mercy is it's a death sentence. Why is it a death sentence? It's numbers like taking the fish out of water because naturally the neshama wants to be completely in and it doesn't make it less, it makes it much more. It's a It doesn't make it less. It's not insecure because of it. It didn't become a mercy is to be insecure. You understand? To be insecure, you have to have a mercy is and then you could be secure insecure. It doesn't become a mercy is to be insecure. It's not shy to be insecure. Insecure is already asking, "I'm secure, I'm insecure, I'm confident, I'm not confident. You like me, you don't like me. You respect me, you don't respect me." You have to have a lot. So this is what they want. The closer neshama the whole you may be bitter the bitter mercy is neshama of choice some neshama them And all their days, and call you may means it's 24/7, they are in this state of bitter. Why? Because of the nature of their soul. And that's what he says, "She not so lame tava." They don't need his burning in this meditation, preparations to arouse the state of love. Why? Because these are the genes of the soul. This is the DNA of the soul. Anything else is a horrible, horrible compromise of my reality, and it's really torturous. You don't need a kind of burning in this not to jump into a fire. You don't need a kind of burning in this if you're a normal person not to jump off a building custom shalom. Or not to choke yourself and stop breathing. Or if you're going to a mikveh not to stay under the water for more than a minute. Why not? Why don't you need a kind of burning in this? And the answer is because the nature you have in kosher mishpat that a that a animal that jumps into a fire, yeah, it's a riot that it's a behavior machine in a state of it it went went crazy. Yeah. I remember that everyone said over there he said, "A gazunta behavior machine will speak in this in fire." A gazunta behavior a filler behavior a gazunta behavior even a gazunta nefesh of a mom is you don't jump into the fire. You don't need a kind of burning in this if you didn't need a whole day and you and you somebody gives you a meal, your wife serves you, you don't have to have a kind of burning in this. Say, "Really, I don't want to eat." But because I'm hungry and because it's my toy in kippah and because it's my toy in tish'ah b'av and the my body my neshama should be in the goofs I don't want to be like another in a view cuz they will send. So I shall I shall I think it's time to arouse an attitude to the piece of steak. Most people I know don't have to go through that. Why? The answer is cuz this is tava a nefesh. You don't need a kind of You don't need a kind of That's what he's saying here. By someone who's in touch with the full scope of their personality, somebody who's in touch with all their dynamics, that's the inyan. Why would they disrupt themselves from this? They don't need a hachana, they don't need a hisbonenus. Okay, they need a hachana and hisbonenus for anything else. This is This is natural. This is organic. I'm going to stay in this place. What's this place? This is a space of what he calls bitul bimitzious. The whole mitzious is one with the source. K'mashe kosuv on this, it says in Tehillim, I think it's Tehillim Sumach Gimel, ims'charticha al yitzuai bashmuros egboch. I remember you on my bed. Yitzuai is mitaton, my mattress, on my bed. Bashmuros, in the middle of the night, before dawn, egboch, I meditate on you. In other words, it's no difference if I'm in bed, if I'm in the bathroom, if I'm eating, it's not negeya. Right? The The fish in water, it's 24/7. They don't stop breathing cuz I went to bed, cuz I went to the bathroom, cuz I'm taking a shower. I don't stop breathing. Are you taking a shower? Are you in a private space? Obviously, you stop. We don't stop breathing. This doesn't have to do with where you are, who you are. Ims'charticha yitzuai, I could be in the middle of bed. I remember you. It's not like, okay, now is downtime. What does downtime mean? People call it in America chilling. What does chilling mean? I'm going to chill now, right? It's a very It's It's It's a could be a very foolish word. If chilling means that I don't know who I am and I'm looking for something to entertain me, so it's a very It's the opposite of chilling. It's a very torturous existence. If it's a If it's a menucha that's an expression of a person's true reality, so it's a whole different inyan. Uksiv on this, it says in Krias Shema, beshivtecha beveisecha, uvlechtecha vaderech, uvshochbecha uvkumecha. You're sitting in your house, you're walking on the street, you're lying down, you're waking up. What's this concept? This concept is don't deny yourself yourself at any point of life. And it's really a form of very deep self-respect. This is a form of self-dignity. It's not like I'm going to stop breathing cuz I went out with friends. Right? So, what does it mean practically speaking? All right, a person says, you know, "1 hour a day I'm going to eat unhealthy things. 1 hour a day I'm going to speak unhealthy things." Why? Why? Why you giving yourself Why you denigrating yourself even 1 minute a day? Why? Why? Why would you do that? Why take out the fish of the water for 1 minute a day and then it's choking and then you have to call the Kadisha and ask him and then you throw back into the water. Why do that? That's why it's called Achdus This is what Achdus means. Achdus means two things are separate, but then you tie them together in a way that you don't see it was a knot. What does this mean? You could think it's separate in in the in the martial, it's physical thing. So, it's two things that were separate and they become together. When we talk about spirituality, it means you could think it's two things and Achdus shows you that it's really one. When the neshama goes through the whole journey, becomes a neshama and it goes down the mata mata and it becomes you could think it's separate. So, he says, "No, it's Achdus like Achdus Achdus like the love of a brother and a sister. Naturally, healthy people there's a love between a brother and a sister that's it's established, it's planted on its own by the nature of their being by Achdus. Person doesn't have to sit and meditate for hours because this is my little sister or my older sister, therefore I should be nice to her. Again, I'm not talking about I know that there's family dynamics unfortunately with that. We're not talking about it. He's talking about the way it's with the but they have real before uh corruption and politics and mishigas and ego and craziness and insanity and insecurity comes in. We have that too, unfortunately, and brothers and sisters could stop talking to each other. Right? Once they the father left money and he died and they're fighting over the etc. But here he's talking about told us you don't need to say to this or why you don't need to say to this or especially you see it in the bedroom there's children, right? A little a brother sees his little sister this is my sister, my baby sister. Why are we connected? Why? It's it's a with a No. Because as he says there's a connection Alexanders. The meters MS for MS slot. And this love is truest form of love. Because it comes from MS It's the truth of the person. And therefore it's never interrupted and it's eternal. This is what they're always in touch with this place of of of love and bliss. This is this is who I am. I'm not going to get I'm not going to disconnect from this offer. And it comes from MS It's the truest part of the person and that's why it's never interrupted. But if this love is not it's not planted in the heart the eating is a bunch of Christmas located in the same MS came to the same MS. There's MS meter and there's MS. We lost in suffer the pain and partial status. Sfas Halepeiv, an edge around the opening, around the mouth. around the beged who's Sfas Beged K'tza'yo. He's Sfas Emes. V'K'tza'yo. You have two types of Emes. There's called Emes L'mita and we call Sfas Emes. Emes L'mita means full truth. Sfas Emes is not a lie. He says it's the edge of Emes. What means the edge of Emes? Like you get to the edge of a city. The edge of a city you're by the city. You're by the city. You're by the entrance of the city. You're already touching the city. I'm at the edge of the city, right? K'tza Hatachton, I'm here. Sfas Beged is the hem. Like it's a Sfas Halepeiv. You should make a Sfas, an edge around it, like the head, to protect the beged. So you're already at the K'tza Beged. The edge of the beged. Yeah, I'm not in the middle of the beged. I'm not on top of the beged. He calls it Sfas Beged V'K'tza'yo. So this is Sfas Emes means Haschalas Emes, the beginning of truth. What's the difference in Emes L'mita and truth? He says Emes L'mita means it's always there. If this is truthfully who I am, so it's consistent. It's 24/7. That's Emes L'mita. Haschalas Emes means it's something that's consistent, but there's different times. So he says you have a person that he's over there that Ahavah Bi'Itimus on him in special times, you could tune into this love. Special time is B'chas K'rishmah, T'fillah. When a person puts themselves into a state, the right meditation, the right breathing, the right Hisbodedus, the right mindset, they can experience something of this. And the fact that they have that ability, that discipline to reawaken M'zman L'zman, maybe every day, maybe M'zman L'zman, that means it's an Indian Amity. It's not a lie. You know, the a lie means something that's just external. It's not who I am. It's not intrinsic. It's circumstantial. And therefore it's inconsistent. MS means like it says in your Yerushalmi, MS is aleph, the first letter, the middle letter, mem, and the last letter, tough. Why? Cuz it's emtza soif. It's always there. If it's true, it's reality. If it's reality, it's real. Reality comes from the word real. If it's real, wherever you look, it's real. There's a safer of the Ralbag, Rabbeinu Levi ben Gershon. He was one of the great philosophers of the Middle Ages. He has a safer called Milhamot Hashem. Proofs that the fight for God. He wants to prove God's existence. So, the one of his essays there, I think it's Maimon He has 100 proofs that God exists. At the end he finishes it. He says, he says, "V'zeh is gulas emes she maskim atzmo mikol tzad." This is the quality of emes. Any angle you're going to come from, you're going to you're going to find it. Misgulas emes In other words, you go here, you'll go there. If it's emes, right? If your wife asks you, "Where were you last night?" Yeah. And you make up a lie. Yeah. So, then she asks another question, you have to make up another lie, right? Another question. But you were there. Until from one angle you can't. But if it's the emes, you can ask me you can ask me 9 billion questions, right? You could me from every side. If this is where I It's Nothing is If it's reality, it's reality. That's why you never have to be afraid of truth. That's why people who are afraid of science and physics, yeah? Because Judaism is going to get contradicted, it's a very poor version of Judaism. Like if it's if it's God's plan for the universe, no tree is going to contradict it. The black hole is not going to contradict it. Quantum mechanics is not going to contradict it. You don't have to worry. You don't have to worry that an apple or that the sun or the moon or that a neuron is going to contradict the creator of the world. It's fine. And if you do have to worry, right? It's pathetic. That's why the above realm likes these classes, yeah? Cuz we're not afraid of science. We're not afraid of photons and electromagnetism. If science contradicts the contradicts the Torah, it means the Torah is wrong or the Torah or you don't know the Torah. Right. Emes is emes. Emes masculine natural occult side. You can come from Mizrahi, Maideh, Adom, Sofan. I don't care. You see it also in communities. You see it also in cultures. When we're busy protecting and covering up, we're always protecting, right? Cuz if you go from here, oh, you're going to find it. Whenever somebody has a corruption situation, they're always cover-ups. Why? Pashut. Cuz if you put on new glasses, if you send an investigator, SOMEBODY'S GOING TO FIND IT. If it's emes, you can come from here, there. It's fine. It's a different It's a different attitude. Winston Churchill once said, uh in a time of war, the truth is so precious, it has to be protected by many bodyguards of lies. The truth is so precious. So, but there's in emes itself, there's emes lamita and the svas emes. Emes lamita means immutable, unchangeable. Svas emes means I'm touching the emes. It's the edge of emes. If it's always consistent, it's always there 24/7, that's you call that emes lamita. If it's svas emes, meaning I know that there's I'm not always there, but I have a mechanism of getting there, that's already svas emes. Cuz I have the potential, the ability to get there. Maybe once a day. Maybe when I get I take time, I need space. You understand the difference? A very important difference. Emma's Lamita is made of Sfas Emes. I'm always in that space. The fish in water, I'm not leaving. Always in a state of love. There's always that connection. The electricity is always flowing through me. The Ein Sof is light. Sfas Emes means I know who I am and I have a mechanism of how to go into a place where I can get in touch with it. And that's very powerful cuz that means you're touching Emes. You're touching something that you have the ability to recreate in your life constantly. People know this within themselves, right? I may have moments that I'm that I get angry or I get overwhelmed or I get anxious or I get egotistical or I get insecure. But I know that if I could sit with myself, if I can be in a peaceful state, if I can tune in, if I can breathe, if I can reflect, I can get back to where I was in that moment of clarity. So, they can't say this Elokus inside of me is just a lie. No, it's not. It's an inyan of Sfas Emes. Is it momish Emma's Lamita by me that it permeates me every No, but it's an inyan of Sfas Emes. It's an inyan of Emes. I'm touching. It's an inyan of Sfas Emes. That's what he says. V'al achein amnu b'zoyhar, Sfas Emes tikon l'oad. The pasuk says, the edge of truth or the lip of truth literally means the the the the lip like the words. But the Rebbe is teaching Sfas Emes the edge of truth. Tikon l'oad will stay here forever will be established forever. Keinant l'oad lo k'siv ela tikon l'oad. It's a bakasha. It doesn't say you established it for eternity. Tikon, you should establish it for eternity cuz Sfas Emes needs that assistance. Emma's Lamita is keinant l'oad. Sfas Emes Sfas Emes desire says in K'sisa tikon. It's like a prayer. You should establish it forever. I need help getting in touch with the Sfas Emes constantly. That's what we say in Ashrei. Hashem is close to all who call him. All who call him not the shaker. First of all by MS. So he says the is MS then MS. Since you always need to arouse it so that means it didn't become intrinsic and ingrained in your core nature touching the core of your heart momish. It didn't become MS a lot of MS in this moment. It doesn't become essential. This is the nature of your essence touching the core of your heart momish. Then you wouldn't have to arouse it. This is your most natural state of existence. That's MS that means something is really really true. So why are you calling it MS? Because at least now you could arouse it and it's going to be real. Every person according to his capacity. It will remain a regime an impact a residue. When he remembers Hashem there will be a spirit that's aroused in him. So about this person you can also say when I REMEMBER YOU ON MY BED I remember you on my bed I'm connected. What does this mean? So you understand this is very important in life. You have things that are Islamic. We don't stop breathing and we don't need to have it for it and we don't need to have it for it. When it comes to spiritual stuff, emotional stuff, take even a person's love to their children, right? Again, I'm talking about a healthy father, a healthy mother. It's not like Sunday you love your children and then Monday, I'm not sure. A healthy father, you love your children 24/7, but everybody still knows that there could be moments There could be moments people get overwhelmed, yeah. They have paradigms I heard from parents that their children made them so many problems and challenges, you know, that there were times that they wished I'm not going to say things that they wished. They get embarrassed by it. But the point is, a human being is a human being. You get overwhelmed sometimes. Even mothers, even mothers that mothers are mothers. Even they they can get so overwhelmed, it becomes very very difficult. And to say that I'm constantly feeling this state of love and connection in the most open way, not necessary. Doesn't mean it's not true. You're a hypocrite, it's not true. You don't have it now. Doesn't mean that. It means yes, you're not in such a refined state that this true love permeates you completely, holistically 24/7. Okay. I don't have it. You have different parts that contradict each other. So, you're right. This Indian is not Islamic. Islamic means it permeates every nook and cranny in your nervous system. I don't have it. Take your spouse. You love your spouse. I I hope so, right? I hear the muscles going to be even better. Doesn't mean Doesn't mean that every good marriage is 24/7 There are such people. 24/7 their heart is open, yeah? He's smiling. You're always an illustration. He gives He gives marriage tips for free. There are There are I once heard from a man I once heard from a man from a from a woman she described how her husband I don't know they were married like 70 years every single night he would wake up earlier he would write a note write a note and a little gift could be a rose could be a nice card could be something even just a put it under her pillow every single morning for 70 years. He woke up early and he wrote a beautiful beautiful note when she woke up this was her her her you know You have what to work on still. Huh? Isn't going to aid him. You want to get lessons? My point is you have people it's a it's an amazing thing but to say everybody else is checker no MS meter is the wild it means it permeates everything good days bad days Sunday through Shabbos you're stressed you have a flu you don't have a flu there's more there's that but it's a mess don't be it's a mess It's a mess means you're touching truth yeah that I get the whole truth you're touching and you know why because even when it's not there you know that it's really there and you know that there's a mechanism to get there and you know that you need space maybe you need some sleep maybe you need to eat maybe you have to talk over talk through things but but yeah there's still blockages so this is a very powerful motion and a relationship with Hashem me that's how to think that the state of the nation is going to never gets interrupted so the other never gets interrupted the hill could screw up pay the cure describes this you really don't have to describe the what love of Hashem really means he says it's like a person who has that's what he says he has a crush he has a crush on the woman that I am I am says and he doesn't stop but she by your become is in bed and he's in the middle doesn't stop thinking about this person. He says Cain, this is only a small martial Cain again is going to be another words if I could use the word obsessed but not obsessed in a bad way like I'm obsessed with you driving obsessed means you're just you're saturated with love. You just filled you can't get like you can't get I CAN'T GET ENOUGH of I cannot get enough. I can't get enough. Not because I'm using the other person I'm not talking about that we're talking I can't get enough because of I know who I am and I'm so connected. But then you have a Jew he says that he knows that every day if he spends the time Christmas he can touch this. And even after diving there's still going to be an impact it's not like after diving it's all over cuz he went to work no there's going to be a regime. And if he tunes in he knows the MS that he's a coming moment and that's where he really wants TO BE. THAT'S CALLED Svas MS. It's not Shaka it's not called Shaka. Shaka would mean when I come to the and everybody is singing I get inspired for 3 minutes cuz it's a nice has nothing to do with me huh? Good question is the Svas MS mean conditional love? No because Svas MS is also unconditional. It just means I may not always be a I'm not always in a state where I'm experiencing my unconditional love. My heart may go into jail. There's certain times in the day my heart goes into jail I lock it up I throw away the key for a a hours and I don't have access to that part. And then you know what? Yeah, so now I get excited maybe about a piece of sprinkle cake. Right now I may get excited about a little covert or a lot of covert. Now I'll get excited about I don't know, power, influence. Now I'm getting fueled by anger, by jealousy. Because my my deeper part is in jail now. It's locked up. But I have a mechanism of going back to that space. That's why it's called Sfas Emes. This love is not Emes love mitoy, but it's Sfas Emes. It's an Emes inyan. It's just Sfas Emes. It's the beginning of Emes. That's true. That's true. That's true. Very good question. Very often even parents they say they have unconditional love until their children really trigger them and suddenly they see it's not unconditional. So this means that very often even the love of parents could be eclipsed by a much more superficial love. But deep down, if a father and mother will dig a little deeper, they'll find unconditional love. That's achoyse. And by the way, behind pain is usually love. You caused me so much pain because we're connected so deeply, right? So usually behind pain there's a lot of love. It's important to know that. We sometimes only see the pain. But we have to know that that pain is coming because there's love. All the pain you're experiencing now with the Jewish people, with Eretz Yisrael, it's all because of love. It's important to understand that. The pain itself tells us how much love there is. There wouldn't be pain if there wasn't love. Why you're in pain? I understand if I'm suffering myself, I'm in pain. Cuz I love myself. Or just this physical pain, but the physical sensation. When you're feeling viscerally the pain of another person or the pain of a people, it's because there's so much love. When you're bothered by it, when it hurts you. So you could also it's important to focus on the love. When there's loss, grief, it's because there is love. We shouldn't forget that, cuz that that love is a gift. The love is a the grief is painful, of course, but the love is a gift. There would be no grief if there was no love. Yeah. Right. Very good, yeah. Yeah, I think so, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In Tanya, he quotes in Tanya Perek Yud Gimmel, chapter 13, the Alter Rebbe Tanya says, in Tanya you have the the the the the tipus, the prototype of a tzaddik and a beinoni. So a tzaddik he speaks about here, and he says that that's the difference of emes and sfat emes. And Alter Rebbe says that legabei a tzaddik, the avodah of a beinoni is not called emes, cuz it's not consistent. Cuz a beinoni is somebody that in the middle of the day he or she can have a crazy allergic reaction to goodness. They can have a crazy taiva. They can have insanity inside of them. So, the tsaddik says that's not emes. You're a hypocrite. Then the Alter Rebbe says there, but it's not the case. Lagabe the benoni because he or she is a consistent person. Because they have a mechanism of arousing the love every day during davening, so hareni koidi, that's how he uses hareni. The one time in Tanya he uses the word me. The only one place in the Tanya, I think. Harenikoidi, I call their love real real. Cuz the Rebbe used to say that the Alter Rebbe was mamash emes into the benoni with those words. Harenikoidi ba'avoso, I call their love real. I call their love emes. Harenikoidi, I call it emes. Why? Because they recreate they cuz they have a mechanism to recreate it. It's not just once in 20 years it's a bas kol that they hear on Yom Kippur and they're flying away. That's not shvas emes. That's an overwhelming experience. God sometimes graces you with a revelation, but that's not emes. That's Hashem's emes. It's not my emes. Emes means it's me. It's part of me. I don't know if you know there's a Mishnah in Maseches Parah. It's an interesting Mishnah. Naharos hamchazvin achas leshavua psulon lemei chatos. Rivers that lie, mchazvin means lie, kazav. They lie once in seven years, they they're they're pasul. You can't use them for uh for the water for parah adumah. What's mchazvin in Hebrew means lie or it means dry up. So, if the rivers dry up once in seven years, it's pasul. Why is it called a lie? It's interesting. Because even when the water is here, it's a lie. No, there is some THEY'RE LYING. I JUST WATER HERE cuz in 7 years there won't be any water here. You understand? That's emes. Emes doesn't mean it's here. Emes means it's really here. Emes means this is a place of water. It's not a place of water. Come back in 7 years. So, a person Come back in 20 minutes. Come back in 20 minutes when he's home, right? His wife triggers him. What happened to you? What happened? So, sometimes it's In other words, it's just fake emotions. But sometimes the showed it us, but it's from above. Your emes means it's yours. No, this is a place of water. It's you. It's part of you. In emes itself, there's emes metoi. And then there's there's That's the twin. That's is that the state of the pre-creation is still the same state. There's no interruption. The journey is a seamless There's a seamless flow. He's always in a place of the weakest. He has to work on it. But once once he's there, he's there. The work is to maintain it and to continue to grow. Maintenance is a lot of work, but it's a different type of work. And he's not going to let himself just become disconnected. Because it's a death sentence. I don't need The other person, no, it's There's different moments. And in every person there could be both, you know, there's moments that you're like this and sometimes are different moment. And the also there could be a sudden concern. some some good things in life. You're right. I don't think you have to get rid of it. If I If I'm singing happens to be a nice in show. So my heart gets inspired. But I know that in 20 minutes it's all gone. I should be a little cynical. I should be a little In other words, it just means that you know, I I'm in a nice place now. I I I should be cynical in a good way. Cynical meaning in a mature way realizing that I did not do any work. Yeah, be self-aware. Yeah, be aware that this I like the song. I like the song it happens to be there's a nice choir in show and it's touching me. But the moment I'm going to be triggered by something else, it's all over. It's good to know that. It's good to know that and that's fine. I went to a concert. You went to a nice concert. And or Mordechai Ben David sang beautiful songs and it was very very smart. Right? But I'm not taking you home with me. He's not coming to my house. Yeah. I can hear you. Yeah, I heard that from the once. He said why is it that Yom Kippur by men we read precious eyes. You read but you Kipa men you read You read about what they did in Mitzrayim and what they did in Canaan. You know, it's a parsha that deals with the lowest parts of human nature, right? Don't be with an animal and don't be with your mother and don't be with your sister. All the all the arayos. The Rebbe when he when he was a fabrengen parshas acharei mos acharei tav shalom he started to cry. He said, "This is the yid by Mincha in a kittel, in a tallis. He says, "Daimon k'malach he's like a malach. He's fasting a whole day and it's already right before the neilah. So it's already the height the height of Yom Kippur. And they open up the safer Torah and what are you telling him? Yeah, don't be with a beheima. Don't be with your mother. Don't be with an eishes ish. K'maiseh it's Mitzrayim. Don't be like Mitzrayim. The Rebbe gave a krecht at g'vald. G'vald. And the Rebbe's answer was that the names in Chumash, the name in Yiddishkeit names are very significant. Names. A name represents the the steam, the soul of something. So every parsha has a name. The name is not just a technical name. The name captures the theme of the parsha. The name acharei though doesn't seem to capture anything. What does acharei mean? After. It doesn't say anything. It happens to be it says "Vayedaber HASHEM EL MOSHE ACHAREI MOS shnei Aaron." After the death. It's just a technical thing. HE SPOKE AFTER THE DEATH. How does that capture the theme of the parsha? Another peleh is every parsha has a connection. Acharei mos has two parts that are the most disconnected. The first half of acharei mos is Yom Kippur. The second half of acharei mos is arayos. Like he couldn't put it in two separate parshas. The first half is the holiest day and the second half is the utmost unholy things. Like The answer to that is acharei. The word is acharei, afterwards. Afterwards. You're sitting Yom Kippur with a tallis, with a kittel, with a gartel. you're fasting all day, you're like a malach. There's no richitzus sicha and everything, you're segregated from the world. Givaldig. Acharei. What happens after? There's always an acharei. There's always a day after. Right? What happens acharei? That's the nekuda. How do you know that Yom Kippur was really Yom Kippur when on Yom Kippur you know about the acharei? That's why it's the name of the parsha. The real koach of Yom Kippur is not Yom Kippur. To be Yom Kippur Yom Kippur, okay. Yom Kippur is going to finish. What happens acharei? That's the power of Yom Kippur. That's how I know if it's emes or not emes. If the water is just here, right? Cuz you take water and you divert it and you turn it into a river, that's not mayim chayim, that's not real water. I just water, there's water, but there's no water here. There's water here cuz somebody happens to take a hose and made a canal. This is not a canal of water. It's not a real canal of water. There's water. Acharei, come back in 7 years or in this case, come back in 25 minutes, you don't have to wait 7 years, and see if there's water. That's how you read about THE SO, DAVKA DAVKA by mincha you read about it. Davka you know Yom Kippur, tomorrow you're going to have a taiva. Eina paturpus l'dayis. To recognize it on Yom Kippur. To recognize it on Yom Kippur. Davka by mincha, when you're a malach. DON'T YOU'RE A MALACH NOW and and and you're you're really a malach. You know how we're going to know? Tomorrow, when you're not a when you're not with a kittel, when you're not fasting. If if stam Yom Kippur is stam a joke. So, what what do you want to make stick from make cases. That's the word. You have to know what's happening. And then it's fine. You're on an honest, okay. Svas emis means that I have a mechanism inside of me that I can read I can go back to it. There's a inside of me there's a space of menuchas hanefesh that I know if I put in the time Yeah, I can go back to it. I can go back to it every day. I can go back to it a few times a day. And even when it's finished, there's still a memory, there's an impact of it, there's a reshimu of it. That's the koach of the beinoni in Tanya. The beinoni doesn't have doesn't live with this inspiration 24/7. Sometimes yeah, but loved Hashem dofka. But always has a mechanism to come back to a place of avas Hashem. He's not a robot. Beinoni is not a robot. He has avas Hashem, but it's not 24/7. And even afterwards there's an there's an impact, there's a reshimu, there's a clarity who I am and who I'm not. I'll tell you a beautiful maiseh, we'll finish with this. We'll continue be'ezras Hashem Thursday morning. Tomorrow there's a women's class. 9:30, you could tell your wives and daughters. Uh I heard this maiseh, the Toldos Aharon Rebbe shared this story. You know the Toldos Aharon Rebbe in Bayit Vegan, I think, right? Rav Weinberg. So, he shared this story. He heard it from a Vishnitzer Hasid, he said. Very gishmaka maiseh. This Vishnitzer Hasid went with his wife Friday to a hospital in Israel. They She needed a a very light and routine procedure, something simple. In the middle of it, there were complications. And they notified him that she has to stay, and it's an urgent situation. So, he has to stay it was it was close to Shabbos. He has to stay for Shabbos. So, he felt very bad because the family was home and he was there with his wife. And he wasn't expecting Shabbos to be stuck in the hospital. Licht in the time around licht in the time, he was walking, you know, to the they have the bigger items or a shul in the hospital to dive in. So, he was walking in the hallway to go find a shul so he could do Mincha, Ma'ariv, Kabbalat Shabbos. So, as he's walking he he looked at one of the rooms and he sees a older Jew in one of the rooms with a white beard, a big yarmulke. So, he decided just to say hi, you know, so he walks in and he nods to him and he says, "Good Shabbos." This alter the year was a smart man. He had a twinkle in his eye. He had a wisdom. So, he looks at him and he says, "Younger man, you seem depressed." You seem You seem You seem broken. What happened? So, he tells the old man in the hospital but he tells him the story. That his wife is here came for a procedure was supposed to go home for Shabbos the pal they're stuck for Shabbos. And he's in a very bad mood. He says, "Why are you in a bad mood? She's fine." He says, "Yes, she's fine. They're taking care of her." He says, "Why are you in a bad mood?" He says, "This is going to be Shabbos. First of all, I don't have my shtreimel. I don't have my big day Shabbos. I'm not going to the mikvah. I'm not going to dive in with a minyan. I'm not going to have the vision at times by the shul. Doydi. Yeah, my family, my community, my shul. So, this is good Shabbos. This is This is This is an empty Shabbos. So, I'm I feel very low bad. So, what he tells So, this year tells him he says, "Younger man, young man, let me tell you something. I was in Siberia for 10 years. I was in Siberia for 10 years. This year was a Mendel Futerfas. Reb Mendel Futerfas was a Chabad Chassid. I knew him. And he was a Soviet Jew. And he was caught helping Jews smuggle get smuggle themselves out of the Soviet Union after the Second World War. They forged passports. That's how they get out got out cuz Stalin allowed Polish immigrants to leave. That's how my father's family came out. My mother's family, everybody forged passports. Every everything was forged. Everything was a lie. You couldn't get out from Russia. And Reb Mendel was one of the biggest economy. He helped hundreds of families get out. They caught him on the train going out. His wife and kids already left. His wife and son left already. They caught him. They sent him to the Gulag. He was there almost 10 years. Then Stalin died in 1953. After Stalin's death, things got a little easier under Khrushchev a little and he was freed. And he came to he came out in 1963 1964. He always wore a casket. He was a real Russia Shaheed of and a very He was a smart person. He went through a lot. He lost a lot of children. And in Siberia he went through a lot. Very few people survived 10 years in the Gulag. The The frost. So he he was in the hospital. So he tells this Jew he says, "I was in Siberia for close to 10 years. And let me tell you something. Friday evening would come every week. I couldn't go out to Mikvah. I couldn't go out to consider. I didn't have a wife. I didn't have kids. I didn't have food. I didn't have anything. I had Siberia Stalin's Gulag I had. Nothing. No shul, no community, no minyan, no no tons, no gefilte fish. I had nothing. I would look up and I would see the sunset. And he said on Saturday night was Shabbos. And it was Shabbos. It was Shabbos. This is the pshat pnimiyus. This pshat pnimiyus. You take away all the outside circumstances, what am I left with? Of course, we all want a shul with a minyan, with a mikvah, with a community, with of course, and we cherish it. Right? He's not encouraging him that he should go to the hospital every Shabbos, but the point is Pnimius means what am I left with inside? And very often until the outer layers are stripped from me, I don't know. As long as I'm in a beautiful environment, I don't know what's going to be after that. Sometimes it's only when these things are removed, I could say, "Ah, so who am I? How am I?" And we all know this in our life, right? Sometimes I grow up in a certain culture and I just go with the I go with the with the trend. I follow the stream. But then comes a point in life, a lot of things are removed and eliminated and sometimes it comes through difficult ways and what am I left with? I'm stripped from all the lavushim and all I have is my bare bones. And then I have to ask myself, who am I? Who am I? And sometimes those are the greatest gifts because they're opportunities to actually find emes. Everybody knows this in their life. There's people sitting here in this class who know this very well. As long as I am part of the I don't want to call it the game, but as long as I'm part of the show, part of I'm not going to call it a circus, but as long as I'm part of the I don't know what's the word. Huh? System, spectacle, spectacal. I'm part of the you know, the What do you used to call malchus? Whatever. This malchus, that malchus. I don't know who I am, right? I don't know who I am. I'm I'm not being mevater with it. There's something beautiful, you know, you're part of a community, you're part of a culture, there's good things happening. Right? But there's also you have to know after that. There's going to come a day I'm going to have to confront myself. I'm going to look in the mirror. And things may not work out, you know, according to the trajectory way planned. And sometimes it's the greatest gift because as long as it was working out the way I planned to it, I didn't have to face my truth. I was never in my spiritual Siberian. I was never in my spiritual hospital. Now, devoid of all of that, right? I gave it up. It's not working for me anymore. So, what do I have now? Now I have the core. Who are you? Now you can discover finally what akus is, what ain sof is, what emes is. That's emes. Maybe not emes lamito, you'll be svas emes. You're touching the emes. Verstande? Could Moshi understand? Okay. Yeah. Everybody have a beautiful and and a truthful day. Even if not emes lamito, you'll be svas emes. So, the Mendel said, he said, The son's Oh, you met him in Oh, he'd come to LA. Yeah, he would raise money, I think. Uh-huh. He's a very serious Jew. He was a smart He was He's been tested by life, so there's an intelligence, you know, the intelligence of experience, like He had the intel the wisdom of a lot of experience in life. When he would talk, there was a wisdom there. You know, the wisdom of age, of of torture, of experience. It's not like a immature baby, you know, who who went on a trip and discovered, you know, God. He's He was tested by life. Rabbi Reitzik. Shmuel Dovid Reitzik. Yeah, the Mendel would come. He would come, yeah. He passed away in London, I think, in '90 '95. His His His He was named after his father. I remember they would give him a bracha shalom on an aliyah in 770 as a kid in Yahrtzeit Harav Menachem Mendel ben Harav Menachem Mendel. Yeah. So, I asked somebody why I was a little kid and then I His father died when his mother was pregnant. So, she named him after his father. But, it was when they gave him an aliyah bracha shalom but Yahrtzeit Harav Menachem Mendel, yeah. Welcome back. Like I said, nicht gesehen. No problem. You're building good things. You're building many Bottei Mikdashim, Mikdash Ma'at. It comes back to bite us. It's nice. It's like a good Danish. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes if it keeps a person out of trouble, it's good. You have to know the priority, the alternative. But, to turn it into my only life philosophy, it's not You have to I can't be at a concert 24/7 with beautiful singers. You have to You have to find it in yourself, yeah. You have to find things in your side yourself. That's the light. That's where the light is. People don't like that. The Tanya it says in the title page Derek Haktsara, right? He says he's going to explain the Derek Haktsara. The Gmar in Eruvin speaks about a short long way and a long short way, yeah. There So it's a very short path, but when you come there it's locked. You know there's a path here to show, but it's locked. You go around. You're going to get there. It's long. It's tedious. You got to go up a hill. Probably you're going to get there. Down a hill, whatever. Acharei, huh? You got an aliya Shabbos here. Good question. He was told that in marriage you sometimes don't say the truth. So this is a big question. You're newly married, no? Few months, yeah? How long? Mazel tov. You have somebody that you could talk about this. This is a sugia. Okay, this is a You're saying does a sub person always have to say everything about the past? So that's that's needs shikul da'as. So that's a depends if it's affecting the present or it's completely gone. Depends how the other person is You have to It needs shikul da'as from somebody who's an expert in this. It's It's a serious question. But generally a marriage has to to based on truth. Does it mean everyone says everything about everything? Yeah, you have to have a good person who understands these things and relationships and know what's going to help, what's not going to help, what's productive, what's counterproductive. But certainly we have to process it with somebody. Maybe we can't process everything with our spouse, but we have to process things with somebody. You understand what I'm saying? But if you have somebody talk to them cuz this is a serious child. Oh, yeah. Means that even the greatest of the great have to be mindful of our human shortcomings. I hope everybody ain't up to trouble as you don't set up he's the expert and he's going to protect, you know, the treasure. Cuz he himself is you've seen it you see you see it in communities and throughout history that when people were not mindful of how of how lowly they can become a lot of trouble happened. In other words, there's That's what I can do means. I can do means I could be the highest highest place, but then I'm, you know, I'm taking into a different place and I have to be aware of that. Yeah, if I'm not going to guard myself. Yeah. And sometimes I can do is no, stay away from there because it's not for you. Run away, yeah. Sure. Yeah.