Likkutei Torah Sos Tosis #6: Joy is to Letting Go of Everything and Being in Flow with Oneness

Good morning everybody. Sorry for my delay [Music] and yeah yesterday. Morning. Welcome. Welcome. Okay. So our theme today is the power of joy the power of we're at the conclusion close to the conclusion of the tasis in the tra of the alteraz that is page 40 page 40 in the on top it says tazar in the Hebrew column three moisture. We're good. Say then [Music] Shak. Okay. Today's class and the classes this week are dedicated and nishmas in the loving memory of Bernie Marcus Benian Ben Ali Melikf the founder of Home Depot. and a major donor to Jewish causes, a great philanthropist, a great human being, an extraordinary Jew who passed away on the 4th of Keshan 5785 November 4th, 2024. And this week of May is his birthday. So celebrating his life and his love and his humanness and his Jewishness and his amazing amazing contributions to the Jewish people and to Jewish education dedicated by Fred and Nancy [Music] Marcus and may his uh special soul be a source of eternal love and light and empowerment and inspiration and enlightenment and expansive consciousness this family community and all of the Jewish people and all of the world. And thank you so so much for your friendship and your partnership and your [Music] dedication. Okay. So after everything we learned in the previous uh days, the last piece of this discourse of this murba focuses on sima on joy. Um He began saying this is what we learned last time on Thursday on Friday, last Friday that the paris in the famous section known as the the rebuke speaks about all of the various uh penalties and warnings. And it finish concludes. This is all because in because that you did not serve Hashem your God with joy and with gladness of heart from all of the abundance that you had. And the question that the balata that Reba asked was that it sounds like from the verse that you served him. You just didn't serve him with joy. Doesn't say you didn't serve him. You served him. It seems like you just you didn't serve him. So how could that be such a grave issue, such a serious issue to the point that he says, "And now you'll serve your enemies." So he began to explain that in life, life is filled with mistakes. Life is filled with stumbling blocks. Life is filled with people. Excuse [Music] me. Life is filled with sneezes of all forms and types whether you like that or not. Colds are not what do they say? Colds are not taught. They're caught like values and joy. So the the says inelis Ecclesiastes you don't have that perfect righteous person who doesn't make mistakes who doesn't sin. So that's almost like the that's like human beings we're frail we're frail and we're weak and even even at saddic he says bar there's no such a thing obviously there's different levels of as we explained there's different levels but but that's the common denominator so sayshat is therefore without life essentially is filled with flaws it's filled with sin that that's that's how it is by everybody. Joy is therefore what changes it. And that's why joy is so important is so important. As he puts it, he says of a person is it triggers, it arouses a joy in all of the worlds and a joy all the way in the creator himself. Like we spoke that it's like a rope. You sway the rope on the bottom, it has a ripple effect on all the strands of the rope higher and higher and higher all the way to where the to rope is tied on the top and it's tied all the way on the top. It's not just tied to the second floor, the third floor, the fourth floor. And therefore he says and when there's a everywhere it's denim joy obliterates means judgments severity holding back the boundaries and as he brought the for which means in the in the light of the presence of the whenever you have when there is a luminescence when there's a brightness which is what joy represents. So there is a there's a flow of life when there's no sim. Therefore, it goes back to essentially the place of human mistakes and human failure and human sin and so forth. to explain this [Music] more. He's now going to explain this in you. What's the connection here to the whole we say in the wedding in the wedding blessings in the that the barren woman the infertile woman shall rejoice when her children gather back to her when her children gather to her with joy. That's what we bless every and every groom and bride at the at the at the wedding at the and then at the during the seven days after the wedding this is one of the blessings. So after all the questions he explained in the beginning of the mimer, he now comes back to it and he said that we learned about two different types of love, two different types of relationships with Hashem because ish and isha man and woman is also a metaphor right it's a metaphor isha represents the Jewish people and ish represents the creator Hashem man and woman cosmic man and woman which is mashia mabo the giver and the receiver and as a result of that whenever it says isha and isha you have it on a literal sense in a physical or biological sense you also have it in a spiritual sense of man and woman and the whole the whole song of songs is based on this metaphor of and kala groom and bride which is during the wedding but then throughout their entire life ish and isha man and woman which was the name for the first man and woman which is and isha is taken from the word ish that's why she's called isha alf of yuchin and then alf shinh they both have alshin And one has a yud one has a he the gummor also explains this in sait and as a result of that when we speak about man and woman it's always also a metaphor and primarily you're talking in the source and then it's manifested also physically like it says the cabalist writes the actually is addressing he was one of the great the great cabalists in Italy In the 16th 17th century he writes when speaks essentially it's speaking about it's speaking about a higher reality a higher state of consciousness it alludes as a hint to the way it's expressed in the physical reality. When we're learning it we begin with the most external reality which is the physical. So if you're learning about Adam or Kava or Kayan and Abel Ken he or any story in oral or mitzvah we look at it first from the physical perspective and then you peel away layers and you go to deeper layers but really in its source mean it comes from heaven. What does it mean comes from heaven? It's not just physically came down from from flew down from a star means essentially you're talking about a spiritual reality that's then manifested in the physical reality. It's important to understand that when you say spiritual reality, there's higher and higher and higher and higher and then it comes down and it devolves. It goes through different stages of of garments until it becomes the literal reality that we relate to which is called the literal. That's why I have parardis the garden which are all different layers of the same reality but just looking at it with a deeper deeper uh lenses or more refined or more spiritual lenses deeper and deeper. So whenever you talk about ish and isha man and woman or any of these bras it could be understood on so many different layers. So here he explains that when you're talking about akara the barren woman it's not just physically it it refers to a very deep spiritual condition and on this came the whole explanation that the garra says like it says we learned that when a woman generates the flow first the result is a male and conversely when the man generates ates it first the result is it gives birth to a female. So in this m he addresses it from a spiritual perspective that there's two ways in which we build our own spiritual life. One is is which in cababalistic language is initiates the process. The arousal from below begins or as he puts it may as he says which means the feminine flow ascends first. Man is which is feminine waters. Mayanukan feminine waters which is a ref reference to the spiritual flow that is then resulted also in the physical flow but it begins in the spiritual loay means that the feminine waters ascend they ascend in a yearning in a passion in an excitement you're going to crave your husband which is your fire which in spiritual terms again back to the spiritual interpretation means that you're in a state where you're longing for that oneness with the source and you have no doubts that this is your longing, right? That it and that itself is a very deep relationship. The fact that you know what you're searching for is one of the deepest steps because you know that anything else is a distraction. It's not what I'm searching for. I could think I'm searching and as we discussed in previous classes at length that that itself is a very very powerful moment when the isha knows this is this is what I want and I can't get it through substitutes or through fakeness or through facades or through alternatives. I just want this unity. So this is and there's an excitement there. There's a thrill, there's a flow, there's a passion means craving, desire. That's called that creates a reciprocal response called which cabalistically means the flow. The flow is a flow. The laws of mikvah, we have something called it's communicated which is a flow. Huh? Continuation. Yeah. So he is used as a continuation. What that that's what it means. What does it mean? A continuation. It means there's a source and now you're continuing. Like say in stories they'll say, right? The next chapter will come. That's means you're continuing something. It's not an interruption. It's a continuation. That's why it's called a ham. Let's be let's let's be mamsh. Let's be mom. When when I was uh bak they told a story that there was a uh there was a lab and he was dating and it was after a while and he didn't know he was confused if if he should continue if he should not continue. So you have to know yiddish for this. They say that he wrote a letter to the tob and he wrote this whole story and he said I don't know in literal translation in English is should I continue further should I continue further but the word v in yiddish means far distant like you say somebody's v it means they're far n means they're close so v means should I continue so in English it means should you continue further but in yiddish it literally means should you continue far away. So he wrote means closer, not further. Get closer, not further. Just circle. So he he got his answer. As the story's finished, I've been married happily ever after. So ham means a continuous flow, not interrupted. So means that there's a flow that's not interrupted. It's a flow from the masculine in response to the feminine, which here we're referring to from Hashem to the soul to the Jewish to the to the to the human soul to the Jewish soul to the Jewish soul or to the human soul. But that's the flow of mad that comes to mind. So that's is the person hollowed out in themselves this openness, this yearning, this craving. saying there's nothing I want. I don't want anything else. Nothing else. I don't want anything else. I want you. This is exactly what I need. This is what I crave. This is what I want. And there's a reason for it. As the says in she's called on is because she was taken from ish. So therefore, anything else won't ultimately be able to complement and satisfy the year. And that's what kazal mean when it says that it says that had a connection however you understand it it's hard to understand literally the moral explains it doesn't mean literally but it says that Adam had intimacy with every single animal and he was not satisfied and finally when he met he said sorry finally I found the a bone from my bones or a core from my core flesh from my flesh also because finally she was something that comes from ish. So what does that mean? He had intimacy with every animal. I mean what does that what does that even mean? Every animal and every reptile and every beh it's a it's a strange thing. So the moral of prag explains that it means that is connected the person is connected to every animal. There's no part of nature that the human being doesn't find interest in and doesn't find interest in him because since the human being is the crown jewel of creation and Adam is the hiscalus the whole bria the whole cosmos is subsumed in Adam. So therefore there's a kinship between Adam and everything in the world. When you're looking at a at a reptile, at a fish, at a bird, at a mammal, at a beast, or any other phenomenon of nature, you're also looking at a piece of yourself. You're not just studying something outside of you. Physically, it's outside of you, but on a very deep energetic level, there's a connection between Adam and everything in the universe because he is like the microcosm that includes the world in inside of him. So, any of the universe and certainly of the planet is inside the Adam. One big ocean like one big ocean. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It says innim that uh that the world is like a gof it's like a big organism like a super oranism it's called and the human being is a gof is a small organism but it's a microcosm of the called macrocosm. So the macro is inside the micro. In one drop of water and one cup of water, you have reflected the entire sun. Even though the sun can't fit into a cup of water or the moon, it's reflected there. So Adam has a connection with every with every with everything. But with with he's like this is it. But it's a different type. It's a different type of relationship. It's a relationship that's much more individuated. Adam can actually talk about about his own internal life and dilemmas and struggles and journeys and so forth. They can even discuss what to eat. Huh? Right. Right. So, uh, so, so when it says it means because knows that everything else I'm connected to, but this is this is where I'm taking from. This is this is what I'm looking for. That's is so then he said what's is a very very deep form of love which is called zak in the sense that it's extremely firm it's extremely strong and unswwaying and that's what he calls and that's the love that we've been discussing in the mimer throughout that even that which is that which is with you I don't want I want only you yourself and that's an extremely extremely deep space as he explained that ima refers to the whole divine bliss that is experienced in Ghana but over there it's a it's a ray of the and therefore it can be absorbed by the person so a person is searching for the ultimate fulfillment which is spiritual bliss which is divine energy but that search is defined by the fact that I want something that I will be able to experience and it will fill me and And that's a very very deep deep spiritual awakening. First of all, you know what you want and you're searching for that and that only and you're open to it. No, I don't want the re ray. I want you yourself to be absorbed. Huh? Yeah. Because ultimately in the first one is it's a ray and therefore I can exist. What do we mean I? Not I as a separate eye, as an ego, as an egoic eye, but I as a channel, as I as a conduit, I as someone who can absorb spiritual energy in a way that my vessels will be able to contain them. Which is why it's only a ray because it has to be absorbed in the capacity inside the containers inside the kale of the human being. And that's essentially what we mean when we speak about ganed paradisehab. But as the gammorra says the whole the whole is audly it's even I don't want I want you what he calls it's like the flame inside the torch or like the tip like the drop of water is inside the ocean where it's a completely completely one and there's nothing outside of the in nothing outside of the infinity and that's the and even though it sounds like a paradox because if you're saying I love and I want so that means basically I'm searching to to enhance the eye that's what every love is I want something more it's always about I want my I realize that the way my eye is pres any desire in the world is what you want to upgrade your eye to a much more fulfilled position I want this relationship ship. I want this job. I want this connection. I want to fulfill this goal. That's the very the the very word love or desire is is preceded by an I. I want I I love I love you. I want you. So you would think if you're talking about by definition, you're talking about a love on my terms. one in which my eye will feel much better about itself from a good and not not in a negative way. Sometimes it's just selfish and I want to use you. I want to exploit you. I I don't even want you. Right? Alterba says here we're talking about somebody who is you know you know who you really are and you know that the ultimate and the ultimate deepest self is connection with Hashem. And that's why it's it's it's a hashem. It's not called a we're not talking about a uh corrupt version of the self which wants to use others. We're talking about the self in terms of of of a self that loves that wants that craves that yearns and it yearns. Who doesn't want who doesn't want that ultimate bliss that ultimate light that ultimate fulfillment that fills it? You sit and you bask in the radiance of the Still we're calling it we're still we're calling it [Music] aut I always say whenever says aut very very profound he means relative to the it's called autabas serving God for a prize. It doesn't mean that you're looking for a prize. There's a m from theb that explains this m from the alterb the wasb's son. So he said over this but with much more with more more explanations. So so on this piece he says he says because if you're serving hashem just for reward is serving yourself. If you're serving God for a reward, you're not serving him. Yeah. If if I if I work for a boss because I he gives me a good paycheck. I'm working for I'm working for I want money. The moment he stops paying me, I'm done. I'm not interested in working for you. So we say avoid Hashem serving not serving God. You want you want you want you want you want the reward. It happens to be that God is the vending machine who has the resources. You got to put in money. I get it. Coming to a restaurant. Yeah. I'm not trying to serve the owner of the restaurant. I want to eat. That's it. It happens to be that he got the food and I got the money. So I give you the food. I give you the money. Give me the food. So if that's what's I'm just looking for the benefits of it. So whenever you talk about says so when it says don't serve God didn't explain it. Don't serve him to get a prize. That's notem that's something else. You're looking for something. It happens to be that you believe that this guy has the merchandise. So you got to do what you got to do. That's why means something else. Of course it's but you're looking for the you're looking for in a way that you can appreciate it. It's a pro. It's a pr because the puss I can I can I can retain I can hold on to and I could sit and bask in the radiance of the who who who would not desire that who would not desire that ultimate saturation of the self with its true source which is divinity you are the source of life with but not you with you is the source of life nonetheless Nevertheless, the avar is I don't want with you which is the source of life because the source of life is only with you. It's not you because if it would be you it wouldn't be the source of life because the source of life already means that it's filtered and condensed and limited in a way that it could become a source an engine for the life and an engine always has to be suitable to that which is energizing and therefore must be contracted. I want you yourself which is no thought can grasp it as it says in no thought can grasp it. So this is a different type of aa and this is the great kesh that deep down in the soul you're capable of this type of of of a relationship because in the deepest space how could you say you're capable again if it's I love it's me the answer is because in the deepest space there's the eye the way God experiences your eye which is completely completely one with him it's like we learned in Shabas in the of why we saying I will give rain. So it says it says spoke through him. So he could say I but says every Jew says and we're saying I and it's not just quoting words it's living it. He says once you once you sac once you live through explains you surrender every sense of separateness including even the separateness of ganed in which I'm going to experience you surrender the self to be able to experience this you could then you can experience this the way God experiences you which is completely completely one with him for this you have to understand and perceive your greatness in a way that's unimaginable your greatness is such that there's no need that there's nothing there's nothing in it that's outside of Hashem himself in a sati I'm giving rain really you're giving rain you can't even give one drop of water one drop of water you can't come up with so puts it when there's true when there's when this true when there's true ble so then the I who's saying I'm giving rain it's that's speaking through him. So why you saying I because that is the ultimate eye that is the eye in the truest sense and in this sense that's the where I'm not looking for I just want you like used to say in his that I don't want your I don't want your I don't want your I want I want nothing besides you yourself. So when is when the person is ready for that isha as a metaphor for the Jew any Jew man or woman is open to that. So then the gift is that type of [Music] love because the person is gifted with that experience. They're gifted with such an intense experience of how much the love is from above. The love is so infinite that the only way to respond to that is by surrendering everything. Because if I don't surrender everything, I can't experience that type of love. In other words, you experience that infinite love that God has to you the way he experiences you. The only way to respond to that is by surrendering everything because if you hold on to anything else, you can't experience that. So, so, so you naturally want to surrender everything, but you're obstructing it. You're obstructing it. Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like if somebody uh I mean it's a poor martial, but it's a good mush. You know, if somebody's giving you a check of $100 million, right? And you say, "No, no, no, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait." He says, "But I have to leave." No, no, no, no. That guy owes me $5. Let me go do that. Right? $5 is a good thing. Take for your $5. You understand? Nobody would do that. You have $100 million. You already take care of your $5. The point I know it's a martial it's all about money. Five versus ultimately 100 million is made up of $5 many times. But the concept is the moment you experience that type of oneness with Hashem, anything else is the greatest obstruction to it. So you're going to go look for your $5, you're you have the ocean, but you say, "No, no, I need that drop of water. I need that tip." And and and that's what is it's a tip. It's I'm sorry. What? What do you mean? Explain. [Music] I don't know. By the way, the word here is not a he uses a zut just uh other discusses a here. It's a versus aut means uh less less mature, less evolved. Rabba means great, grand just just a little correction. No means when it is starts from the person. less than this is the result. Yeah. So when is he says the result is the child that's born from the relationship is a which represents the needs not to first of all it's unsuable and you're not the instead of the when it's which means when comes first the person actually is distracted or they're overwhelmed or whatever and initiates the process So then even though so sometimes it's just from above and the person doesn't respond just like you get sometimes you know you get sometimes a spark and it continues for a few hours or for a day but then it dissipates but even when the isha does respond she some so to speak jumps on the wagon and not only that there's a result there's a birth which means there's an emotion because always we say emotions are like children and is like the parents. So, but it's so it's the means it's a love and it's a very powerful love but it's of which is where I'm still holding on to the sense of self which is the job of which is the job of so is a kali it's the as much as the person can experience which is a kali for the alleged The zer for the for the fetal man just to clarify is not the it's the person opened up to the relationship. It can be open to the true to experience the it's a gift you need the the ish coming after the but the reason it's because the person is open for that type of relationship huh because so you're completely open to it your heart is open to it so it could get filled you have to be open for the right you're open for Emma is to be able to experience the millime right it's just like the baby you need you need the male it's not just the feminine you need the the connection so in this case the comes from after the but since it comes after it's landing in a different place and it's landing in a different way because the person on their own already surrendered everything so they could now experience the love that God actually has for them like oh wow They're ready for it. Alish means you're focused. You're open. So when the comes in with somebody there and they're ready to hear everything. The first one it's almost I caught you in the middle of you know the middle of breakfast. I don't mean you. You can eat breakfast. But in the sec in the second one is like oh you know oh sorry. Okay I was on my phone. Yeah. What do you need? Oh you excited about me? Okay. So, they're ready to they're ready to experience it in a much more limited way because it depends where they are. It always depends where you are. You can have all the hashba in the world. You can have the deepest, but if I'm not there, it doesn't land inside of me. That's true. Yeah. You understanding? Yeah. So the result of the result of is also there's a but it's a it's the person experiences it on their terms which again is huge. It's you're talking about but And this comes the blessing which here refers to not just somebody who who doesn't have children because then you wouldn't say she has children. You would say she used to be an he says on a deeper level you're talking about somebody who did not generate the love from within. And because they didn't generate it from within so on their own they're called aurora. It had to come from an outside process from an outside influence which changed them. I don't mean to compare and and and uh but but just like you have a surrogate mother for example right a surrogate mother somebody who's carrying a child and actually does the process and you have today's technology today's medical miraculous technology you know the whole IVF technology so we have actually many metaphors the woman is giving birth but the question is what had to be given as a gift in order to make that happen so that's biologically but if you talk about spirit Spiritually, he says the concept of akar doesn't mean she's in a there's no birth. But he says when is spiritually speaking it's called because it didn't come from me. It didn't start with so relatively speaking the person is called a in the sense that it I I didn't initiate it. I had to it had to be given to me. It had to be gifted to me which is not not not in a negative sense. It's just a different it's a different space and that's what we mean and on this we say is going to rejoice and means sons sons because the here there's a new thing called and this is the the last of the what's the sim changes the whole equation that the spoke For this you have to learn what is the that we're talking about. Now everything we spoke about is good and fine until you bring in the concept of the reality of once is of even when you talk about of and therefore doesn't relate to her on her own. So she's called still because of So let's now see let's now see the last stickle here page 40 it's like 10 lines from the top the line starts he explained that essentially there's no saddic so therefore there's always a penalty because there's something missing but sim changes that so that's now he explains now we'll understand the holy opinion here the line starts it's page 40 I know like one two three like 10 or 12 lines from the top they will understand this too here everything we explained about the difference between the beginning the process really being a vessel for it and the isha not beginning the process it's the ish beginning the process Hashem beginning the process and the result of that is that this is only when the light of is communicated it's flowing through the system of the system of means the whole system of the chain the the the very intricate chain from the highest worlds to the lowest worlds through which the light travels in the system and the structure that hashem made this is based on the kavid on the utterance of the kavid kavid is in kabal it's called the measuring stick the measuring the kav is like the line amida of measurement which allows and allocates the right amount of energy to every world according to its kali according to its capacity it's responsible for the unique chemistry and composition of every single reality from the highest spaces to the lowest place that's called mimer kav This is the this is the measurement. This is that this is this this is appropriate structure like we say that if the is creates the flow is an expression and the generations are kosher meaning the generation is worthy whether it's collectively or individually but it's she's open to it the generation is in an elevated expansive Right? You're aroused. You're into it. You're passionate. You know who you are. You know what you're looking for. You're not distracted. You're not overwhelmed by other things. You're open to true reality, your own true reality. Then then you're a vessel for to come from the highest place in in other words to experience the pimus of You know, sometimes you'll see even in your own family, let's say your child, your child is about to say something which for the child may be a top secret. It could be about something they did in school and they're going to get a lollipop tomorrow. But in your child's mind or something that happened that's not so gushmak. Yeah. But you see, it's not easy for your child to uh to say it. Yeah. The moment they see that you're distracted or you have something better to do, they often shut down. They'll talk about something else and they won't talk. Why? Because to be able to say certain things, I need to feel your presence. And the real reason for the reason for it is what they're really really communicating is that I want your connection. It's like a bit for connection. The moment you're not fully connected, the moment you think I'm trying to give you information, so you're not getting the core. You think I'm trying to give you information. If I'm trying to give you information, you could be on your phone and here. What's the big deal? But the truth is, I'm not trying to give you information. I'm trying to tell you how connected I am to you. So if you're doing something else, you're telling me no, I'm not connected to you. I'm not interested in this connection. Okay. So then it's so we're not so connected. It's just a mshel here. Yeah. What's he says this from the pineas and from and all it depends on the person if you're open to it. Yeah. So now you're capable. You're capable of getting it. What are you capable of getting? It is God telling you by the way the only thing I'm interested is you. That's called I could share with you me because you're here. The moment there's no there'll still be I want to connect with you. But what you're capable of hearing is that I'm connecting with you in order to be able to give you something that you like. I'm going to give you a candy that's from the so that a person experiences is is a connection but it's a connection that's much more limited. They're not experiencing the connection from the full experience of not because he doesn't want to because you're not ready for that. You have a relationship with say it takes two to tangle. A connection on the deepest level means a connection with your essence and my essence. If your essence is not here, you'll never be able to experience the essence. Not because he doesn't want to give it. He may want to give it, but it takes two to tangle. You have to be able to have somebody to experience it. You understand what I'm saying? That's what he's saying. When you have so that comes is it comes from the highest place like he said before from the which in simple English means that the person actually can experience a love from Hashem that is so limitless and so infinite that they right away know that the only way to contain it is if I let go of all the containers. I surrender completely because if I want to remain in my box in my soul and experience God as Ganaden then I'm actually not experiencing that. I'm actually letting I'm I'm I'm letting it be lost. So the person experiences the way they they experience themselves the way God experiences them. And the only way to experience that is if there's no self. Experience in the body or the person in in the body. In the body. He's in a container. But the container is also is also experienced as God experiences it. The container ultimately is not a contradiction. If it's not a contradiction that's if so it's so comes from the when there's no the generation is not in that space then what's the then what's the way it happens? What's the structure? What's the the program that was set up? Say the means is a program. There's a back-end program that is responsible for the for the whole all the structures. We're only seeing it's like two people using a computer. You know, the dummy who's using a computer like me. All I see is the monitor and the screen. I don't know what happened here. I just uh I press this and I expect that the email goes through. But the programmer, he doesn't. For him what shows up on the screen is almost irrelevant. That's just the way it was filtered for dummies who don't understand anything about coding. But the main thing is what happens in the code. So is appreciating the code and being sensitive to that. So according to this if there's no there's no but it's from a more external space where you're capable of getting [Music] it is that the person is not open to this type of experience of love on this level and you have to meet people where they are. You always have to meet people where they are cuz if not, huh, he's okay with he's okay with Ganaden. Exactly. You got to meet people where they are. You want to be in Ganaden Ganaden is galdic and it's healthy. It tastes good and it's healthy. Not like if it's healthy, it's horrible. And if it tastes good, it's horrible. It's horrible or healthy. And you have both. Okay. And even the kul the way it's expressed in the most place the idea is you always I can only meet a person where they are. I can't meet them where my I am cuz then I'm not meeting them. You have to recognize and acknowledge where the person is and what they're capable of hearing and absorbing right now at this moment. Means she's yearning for the truth. If you're yearning for the truth, you'll get the truth. If you're not yearning for the truth, you're actually distracted. So truth may summon you. But you'll get what you're capable of getting in this space. That means when it comes after it's from when it comes, it's from not because I'm trying to be selfish. Oh, I'm not going to give you the real secrets because the real secrets will call will will fall flat. You're just not there. you're not capable of it. And we see it and it's true throughout people's journeys of lives. I mean, you see it constantly. It depends how much you're ready. And you'll be able to tune in to a different type of frequency to a different type of experience. You say, "What happened with this exper what what just [Music] happened? Nothing just happened. You're ready." He was waiting now. You're ready. So we're here. We're good. So that's the that's how it works. So which means it's going to be This is when we're dealing with structures. We're dealing with a system. Simka upends everything. In simple English, Simka destroys the whole system. Simka is like the guy comes in and eras erases the program and redo everything. Yeah. A troublemaker. Yeah. Oh, I thought you said trouble. The of the person as we said is it arouses it triggers on every level because the person is the interlacing link like that rope between heaven and earth. So it creates on every level all the way the divine joy the godly joy. generates a revelation, an explosion of revelation. It causes the light to come from the essence of the mats. Mats is the emanator, the one who emanates the light. Comes from the mat. So mats is the one who's says tells I will emanate from the spirit that's on you and put it on the 70 elders. So they are like a continuation of the energy of Mosha that's manifested in the seven elders and they would help him leading the people. So that's where the word comes from. So the mats is the one who emanates. So the matzah is the one who's responsible for every emanation. It's like the source from every transmission of divine energy comes from the mats. the one who's matzah and he doesn't call it b because it's b is already when you're creating something outside of you mats is when you're emanating light from you it's not outside of you the 70 elders were not outside of they were continuing his prophecy his prophetic spirit that's why it's called matzil you understand it's not bu mat because it's much deeper than b it's high it's still still it's still in a consciousness that's higher than is not bria it's still oneness at feels oneness it's still atos it's not it's not the matzil It's but it's still one. It's not a code thinking. Very good. Is like the code. The atilus is more like the thoughts of the one who's coding which will be manifested in a code. It's going to come out in a code in a concrete code which will be manifested ultimately right in the final final product that the one who doesn't know anything and doesn't even know that there's a coder and doesn't even know that there's a code doesn't even know the code is working by his computer and he thinks you know whatever uh huh comes from the fridge yeah the milk comes from the fridge or even from the cow or even from the cow Yeah. So briasia is like already it's like a concrete code that itself you have a spiritual code you have you have the physical you have the manifestation of it but is still the way it's in the thought very good the thought of the coder but it's already thoughts it's it's already he it's not it's not just himself it's already a thought he's planning he's planning a whole program he's planning a whole a whole system so that's called the mat that's what he says so is the comes from the essence of the with a tremendous abundance and greatness not according to the regular steps from the words steps not according to the regular steps an example for this is when you see even by a king of flesh and blood and the truth is this is true about every person he's giving a's day when This mime was said to bay you remember in Russia the zar had almost absolute power this was still the era of kings kings and a king by definition is all about boundaries segregation you know the aura the respect most subjects in the Russian Empire never saw the zar who saw the zar yeah huh yeah or like the old joke, right? Uh yeah, they what they ask, "What's the braha that you make when you when the zark what what's the braha that Jews make on the zar?" He says, "Please keep him far away from us." Yeah. Whatever the bra is, you know, keep him far away from us. That's the brah. So he's bringing out the idea of melikb is the whole idea of a melik is the awe the dread the the authority the dominion which in our culture we don't really uh we don't really understand so much when you have a president like Biden he can really destroy that concept but but even even when you have different presidents um the concept of maluka is not you know doesn't have that democracies don't have that uh that I mean England England tried to you know to fake it a little are not so successful these days but that kind but what is he trying to say with the when the melik has a tremendous let's say the prince the prince's life is in danger you know his one child his successor and they save the life so even the melik loses it he goes out of his gagoris a is fence, a realm. Everybody has your ghetto. Everybody has their gh their their their fence. In other words, their boundaries that makes me who I am. Even every person I tell I'm not a home. I'm not homeless, right? I'm not this. I'm not that. Everybody has their Yeah. This person doesn't hang around with the simple folk. That's their gather. Another person hangs around with a simple fog. But everyone has a gather. These are your fences in life. The melik certainly has his. He's the king. He's not a subject. He's a king. And it's also that way, right? A king is not let go to the bath house with anybody. Nobody's allowed to see him bathe. Nobody to see him take a haircut. You can't see him without clothes. I mean, all these things in the mikvah. It's not stam. It's because the melik needs to hold on to a certain position. Not for his even if he's a good mel and a real mel because of there's something called But nonetheless, there comes a moment of crazy insane joy. What happens to the Malik? He goes out of his he goes out of the limitations of his dispositions. Mida comes in the word measurement. Everyone has a size. You know, this is how you size up a person. He also has his midas. A mida. Your shirt has a mida. Your jacket has a mida. Your your hat has a mida. Everything has a mida and your emotions and dispositions also have midas. You know these are my people are predictable to some form and if they're not predictable that itself is predictable that they're not predictable but it's it's predictable you know predictably unpredictable predictably unpredictable that's part of aik to be too it's said when it comes a tremendous moment of he he goes out of that where do you see it you see it at the same level of revelation that he has to audle to the greatest of the great. He can have to a to the smallest of children with the same love and with the same passion. All the regular definition that's all gone. It's out of the window because that's all ex why not necessarily because he was selfish because he was arrogant. We're talking about even a normal a normal person because a different level comes out. The atmas comes out and in a paradoxical way when the etsim comes out all the rules are thrown out the window. The ken the child has the same value and captures him in the same way like the gud what he this is aud great person right is the great president of a of of of another country you need these relationships of course he spent time with him is a ken in years or ken in knowledge is the valueless that's all ab when you're in the world of there comes up a space an inner core which sim brings out and suddenly the same interest the same passion with the mamesh he has with the that's where that's where you see the the core came out and the only thing that does that is brokenness doesn't do that brokenness also humbles people it humbles people but it doesn't break down all thear this the melik may be very private and very melancholy and very introspective But to break down all the to be able to connect intimately and in such a deep way with the the smallest like the greatest. This is what this is what does this is a mushel. Exactly the same thing happens on all levels of reality. And even the highest place which means by the creator himself when you have a moment that the divine is emerges. What happens is the whole goes goes down the dre. The whole means there's a system. There's higher, there's lower, there's right, there's left, everything. What happens is is what? So it's like suddenly the melik is like a simple guy. He's in the sandbox with the kids and actually having fun. The the guy what what happened to you? You went mishuga. He's happy. He's really happy. He's actually having fun. He's in the sandbox with a bunch of kids. And that's what Mik Bash didn't understand about her husband David. There's the story. We spoke about this the story in in in the NL when David brought the urin back. He he liberated from the Philistines and then it was by the Jews and then he brought it back to David. Finally, it was it was liberated the urin which had the I mean it was like the this was the most divine item that the Jewish people had. It was like the direct continuation to mat. It was the that Mosha built with Betal and had the the inside the so that was like it was Jewish history and it was it was gone. It was gone. The pushim captured it already in the times of a and it was gone. The Jewish people didn't. So now David reclaims the honor. So his went completely beyond structure. And the says we just had the say is he was jumping. He was doing somersaults. He lost himself. Some say he was whistling. He was just dancing but with un uninhibited. He wasn't say dancing. you know one of these uh you know very choreographed uh intricate dances which is like a form of you know athletic sports but it's very it's only for the you don't let simple people uh you know those dances if you're not trained don't get close he like lost it and his wife was standing by the window and she was looking at him and she sees this and the says one word and she was humiliated by him in her heart vativa in her heart she didn't say anything till he came home but in her heart she was like wow what an a what a what an embarrassment and when he came home she gave him a mishab somebody else who would say this to the king you know I don't know what would be the result but the wife is the son and she was a daughter of so she was no katla and she told David exactly what she thinks and she basically compared him to one of the rags literally like one of the maid servants who's ped like he was a I never knew my husband can behave in such a denigrating degraded fashion and this is the melis this is the king of the Jewish people and you're taking back the and this is how you behave and basically she's telling him you don't deserve to be a You're basically you're like one of the empty people. This is how they behave. Completely uncontrolled, frivolous, frivolous people. No selfrespect. No decorum. You're a melik. And she tells the Yeah. Yeah. And what does David answer her? David says, "Hashem chose me from your father to be the mel. I was doing item and believe me if I had an opportunity I would denigrate myself much more. This wasn't even enough. I would do it much more. And the maids that you're talking about that I'm like actually im it's with them that I have respect. It's they who respect me. That that's what he answers. So the question is why does he have to give you this God chose me over your father? It's like boom, you're embarrassed me. I'll embarrass what you have to she knows that her father didn't end up being the melat explained once he wasn't trying to his wife. He was trying to explain to his wife the difference of Malik and by David the Malus came with absolute bit and that's why when he made a mistake with Bash the first thing he said was a great great man but in a moment of truth ultimately he didn't listen huh yeah yeah so was saying you Understand? I know what the Qurum is. I know what it means to be a king. David knew what it means to be a king. But now when I'm standing before God, now when I brought back the whole is gone. There's no meal. There's no the maiden. The melik is exactly the same thing. That means he never forgot. One of the hardest things in life is everybody has a position in life. But when you start taking your position too seriously and you don't realize it's a position, it's not the essence. Now you lo Now you lose it because you're not connected. Fall out of the oneness. You fall out of the oneness. Exactly. A melik has to be a meal. Melik is not supposed to go to the mikvah and hang out and talk new politics while you know eating sunflower seeds. It's not for a meal to do. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes a person could learn and still I'm in a position and and in many ways it's the right thing. A father's a father. Father's not a child. Father's not supposed to be a 2-year-old child, you know, and ice cream with the other kids. It's happened sometimes. You ever see they bring the hot dogs to the right and the are packing together with all the kids. You don't know who's the kid and who's the huh? It's much better food. the the the the hot dogs are much better than the main course always. Everybody just wants the the chicken nuggets. A melik needs the cororim. And that's what Mikl was saying. She was saying, I I married a king. I married a king. I didn't marry somebody to behave this way. What was telling her? Do is saying, I know you married a king, but there's a difference. your father couldn't be a king because he was too he was too dignified. He didn't know how to surrender it. And the reason he didn't know how to surrender it because the moment you go is important. It's God's structure. It's not m it's God's structure. Is important. But as important as it is, you have to be able to know how to let go of it all because atmos and the gut are exactly the same. And now when the urin comes back, this is one such moments. Of course, I lost myself and I would have been happy to lose myself much more. Isn't there in that moment when he was herself? Maybe something that's what she saw in that question. It could be in the literal sukim doesn't say that. It just says that he was wild. He was uninhibited. He was jumping. He was doing somersaults. He was flying. He was just what you would call in English the man lost himself. It's like like just a drunk. This is what drunks do. You ever see drunkards? They're smashed. They're inebriated. They don't have self-control. And they're jumping on tables. They're kissing people. They're hugging people. Go get a life. It's not what a king does. And what are the repercussions for the country tomorrow? What are people going to do with you? They say Allet. She's a comedian. So become a comedian. Don't be a king. It's a This was a And said, "No, you don't understand me. I didn't go to a club and make a show. This wasn't a performance on Broadway. This was Hashem. That's the here that even the melik all everything goes everything goes when a certain comes in him and he forgets that he's the king not he forgets in a negative way that he shooks the responsibility he forgets that he's in a position of a king what do you mean so why are you saying there's small and there's bigger and they say it's equal so don't call them kat because there is a ken and a child is not an adult is is not a child. A king is not a regular person. Regular person is not a king. And there's there's the serious. You don't say it's all a joke. But then there's also a moment where don't worship your position. When your position becomes God and you forget about atmos oh now you're going to lose the position too because the position itself becomes disconnected from the ultimate emas your typhus and that's that's that's the that's the place that sim touches and you'll see in such a moment where people experience that joy what is joy really joy anybody we all understand joy is not something you ever achieve If somebody says, "Okay, I'm going now to pursue joy and tomorrow by 4:00 I'm going to get it. Good luck. Let me know when you have it." The moment you have joy like this, it's the worst anxiety in the world. It's like people pursuing their whole life. Simka, I want simka. Make me happy. Make me happy. How do I get? So I run. Okay, maybe eggs, maybe tomatoes, maybe money, maybe. Maybe more money. Whatever it is, maybe this relationship, that relationship. Why as fast as we run after simka does it always remain so elusive? And the answer is huh because joy it's the opposite. Joy you have to let go of everything else and then you're there. Where am I going to find joy? Who's holding my joy exactly? If I have your house and your spouse and your car and your watch and your bank account, I'll be happy. Trust me. First of all, you're not going to have it. And even if you do, you're going to have [Laughter] nays. It's not even about what I have, what I don't have. That's the it's letting go of everything because in the place of the essence of the core where you're one with the source over there is the source of all joy, all bliss. We say everyday in you remember this. It's good three words in very important. In his space, there's confidence and there's joy. I go to sleep crying. I wake up joyous. Why? Because when you wake up for 5 minutes, the ego is quiet. Then once you take your phone, it's finished. The ego comes back. But the first moment say is letting go of everything. If I'm pursuing it, I'm going to be happy. I'm going to be happy here. Give give it to me. I'm pursuing anything besides sa. The more you let go, the more joy. The more I'm trying to own and the more I'm trying to capture, the more I'm trying to You could try it. You'll see. It's one of the hardest thing because everybody's trying to be happy. Who doesn't want to be happy? You know, the the the industry of happiness is one of the most powerful wealthy industries in the world today. Everyone wants to be happy. And we all know that happiness is not something that you can forge. You can't even talk about it. It's a complete internal energy. I could scream, "I'm happy. I'm so happy. I'm so cool. I'm so chilled." But you could see in my body language that I am miserable. And sometimes we're so miserable, we're so miserable of being miserable that we start calling misery happiness. And then you're really dead. Uh when a person becomes so convoluted, they start calling misery happiness because they just want to believe that they have the dream. They don't even know what it is. And it's a big tragedy and we must say this without any judgment because it's so deep. If a person never tasted internal internal sim and maybe anxiety is like almost their second name and a lot a lot of people are suffering from this and it's completely not their fault. They don't even have a conception of life without it. And it could be for reasons that are very very deeply embedded and very often has nothing to do with choice. People have to be very sensitive to this. So I become desperate and I don't even imagine there's something outside of my anxiety. And there's people and I know some of these people that they pursued a lifetime of healing with all different forms of healing and therapy and this conversations and talking and they spent money and everything and they really really tried but they can't get rid of their anxiety. And the one thing they say at the end is maybe anxiety is happiness. And that's one of the greatest tragedies. The concealment is concealed. Meaning the anxiety becomes the name for happiness. And all I know is distraction after distraction after distraction. And with each year my distractions have to go up a level because they have to battle even deeper anxiety. So my distractions have to be much more intense. So the level of recognition or validation or celebrity status or fun I had yesterday or last year is nothing for this year. This year we got to up it a notch. And one must have tremendous empathy for this. Yeah. Right. Exactly. When I was younger. You're still young. You're still young. But when you were younger Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. So this this mayor which means light and is the yard of mayor especially for all the mayors in the world is telling us that when he was in they taught him that there's one way to be happy learn do mitzvah and that brings happiness and that's beautiful and it's true and I'm going to add something and that is that there's a lot of people that learn a lot a lot of Tyra and have done a lot a lot of mitzvah but suffer from a lot of anxiety And we have to be empathetic to that. And I could tell them and people have told them and they tell it to themselves. I'm not learning enough. So now they have anxiety from the fact that they're guilty for their anxiety. So they actually learn more and somehow their anxiety does not go away and they do more mitzvah. So now they're told themselves, I'm not doing enough. So now they do more mitzvah and more. Not everybody. I'm talking about some people. And they have even more anxiety. And now they have even more anxiety from the fact that they're doing everything right. And they still have anxiety, which means somehow that there's such a negativity and evil inside of them. That's not allowing them to have sim when all the sources say that you're supposed to be happy. That means I am a loser beyond what anybody would have ever imagined. And now you understand how much anxiety they have now. Okay. Only two. Okay. Yeah, this is everywhere. Don't worry. No, nobody has a monopoly everywhere. Yeah. our our work is content. Let's just be content. Don't jump to uh joy. Yeah, I hear you. from from Google that all the aces that it says like to learn to make you happy. It's not like a machine you put in it comes out. You do it and believe it works and forget about the results. Just keep on doing it. So you're saying somebody said don't don't feel if it works just continue doing it. You learn a lot of but what about debilitating anxiety inside somebody? They're not trying to feel it, but they feel it. So, it's just like this deep that it's like this this monster inside of them that's really creating misery. They need a jet ski. Jet ski. So, he says a little jet ski and go into the ocean. Take a boat with sad on the boat. Especially as you're going fast and you flip it. You flip and you go into the water. So, you get another one more. My only question is does the jet ski heal the anxiety or just the the the rush, the adrenaline, you know, it's like the roller coaster for a few minutes takes me away from it, which is nice. It's like a roller coaster, right? Huh? Quieting the mind at least. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. And also nature. Sometimes you're in nature. So these are all beautiful things, but here we're trying to touch the core of everything. Yeah. You're saying people need to take medication. I hear. Okay. Okay. Psychiatrist. Yeah. And what did the psychiatrist say? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My work as a doctor is not to take away anxiety and then I see. Okay. I want to do something. Absolutely. Absolutely beautiful. So everything that was said was beautiful and meaningful and yet there are people who have done all of this and believed in it and are still suffering. What's your answer? So the alterba doesn't get in here to the specific technique which he doesn't do in most my but it's important to understand the nuda that he's saying and that is the part of self-lame and self-shame if I would only do this and I would only do this and I'm not doing this enough and not doing this and that's why I'm suffering is very often contributing to the anxiety and it's simply not true. There are often templates that have been implanted in us maybe from a very very early age. Maybe even from the womb, from birth, from previous generations or from experiences of life, from nature, from nurture and from a lot of other combinations and certainly sometimes from events that happened especially in formative years of life that really implant in a person a core or what seems like a core perception of self that robs them from experiencing their life force and energy or what we call their atm. their essence and it's mish not their fault because they simply don't have a vocabulary to be able to even know about that part. It may be so so buried so deeply buried under so many layers of shame of guilt of not being enough. Sometimes their entire being in their mind is here just to please others. their self-consciousness, the need to be self-conscious, to be hypervigilant, to be loved and validated by everybody, lest anybody see who I really am could be so so profound and for so many different factors. And really the only healing begins when I can actually get the help that I need to let go of layers and layers and layers and actually meet for the first time me and not the me that I think about. The mei that I came to know through my brain analyzing and dissecting myself odd nauseiating infinitum which brings me back to that loop that the mind that loops but a be that is completely completely liberated and emancipated from all of my thoughts and my experience and my emotions about the me that have often been very very tarnished and tainted by profound profound life experiences. One example of this, I mean there's there's endless examples for this, but just one example for this is if a child at a very young age was never seen. They were never seen, not seen physically, seen for who they are. They were never appreciated and seen for who they are in the deepest place and not maliciously. The people who were responsible for that, nobody saw them. So how could they see their child? They were busy themselves trying to survive and get validation. And this child, every child wants to be seen, craves to be seen. And when they're not seeing, they may reach a conclusion. And the conclusion is there's nothing to see. I'm too boring. I'm undeserving to be seen. Or maybe even worse. I grow up with a certain template about myself. My being in its core essence in some form of perception is evil, is negative and some I always have to cover that up in order to be something besides me in order to get some recognition and to be seen. There are another hundreds of thousands maybe millions and billions of ways in this which plays out that I'm not going to get here very specific. And as a result of that, I don't even I never even met me. I don't even know who Jacobson is. I could live my whole life like that. Everybody else could know me. At least think they know me, right? But when I look at myself, I only have two words. Why? Why? And then I have to remind myself that I come from Yakov. I'm a son of Yakov. Maybe that's the answer. What is worse, a person may not even know that they're dealing with this. We become so in strange estrange from I don't even know I'm dealing with it. All I know is I'm trying to it's like I'm trying to breathe and I already learned how to get the oxygen that I need to survive. And this is really letting go of everything. And sometimes I can't just do it myself. Sometimes we need help. We need help to be able to go in to deepest places where there's so many blockages and unravel what is really really happening and opening ourselves up to all those blockages which is painful because those blockages are there for a reason. Somehow they feel that they are going to protect you and they don't want you to go behind them. In other words, there's a reason I developed this anxiety. There's always a reason your system developed anxiety as a group of bodyguards. They are usually protecting you from seeing something. Maybe they're protecting you from seeing your true self, which in their mind is so horrible. Better to be anxious and always be protected on guard. Cuz if you're always on guard, you won't get hurt. The bodyguard will not let anybody come in because maybe they're going to see the shade them, the secrets that are there. Let keep them all out. And that anxiety is a great bodyguard. I'm never going to say an extra word. I'm never going to lose myself. I'm never going to be like David Melik where somebody's going to stand by the window, never mind my own wife, and say, "What a disgusting, disgraceful man I married. I'm going to be a man." Then there's people that develop identity that they're the most miserable people that try everything they can get. They try to get help and they get insulted if you say and it's an insult. Yes. Some people that you can get better. Yes. And that's sometimes and that's a horrible condition when I I'm so so anxious and so behind walls that if somebody says you can get helped, they become my enemy because they're the first ones who are puncturing they're puncturing a hole in my balloon. I get triggered. I get so triggered. Oh, you think I'm sick? You think I'm sick? You're sick. You're sick. You always sick. Why? Cuz somebody just told me the truth. You look miserable. No, but you know when a guy comes home from work, I'm talking about in a decent marriage and the wife feels that he's miserable and she's like, "You had a hard day. I had a hard day. I had a hard day. I didn't have a hard day." Oh, sorry. You look a little I look What? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What just happened? What just happened? For me to be vulnerable about the fact that I had a very hard day is hard. Not only I'm not and I'm not trying. I told myself that I didn't have a hard day, even though it was a miserable day. You and me know it was a miserable day, which is why I ate three Danishes for lunch. And where I had a pie of pizza before dinner, right? And where I just wrote a nasty email to my partner. It was a miserable day. All your wife is saying, you know, you're allowed to talk about it. I didn't have a miserable day. It's not like I say I had a miserable day, but I'm going to lie. I'm not lying. I tell myself I'm going to It's very vulnerable for a man. We're talking about being a man, right? Very vulnerable for a man to say life is hard. What's she going to think of you, your wife? She's going to think that she married a spineless shepher. She thought she was marrying a man. She ended up marrying some basket case. I'm not a basket case. It it manifests in so many ways. And I hide and hide and hide and hide and hide and hide. And this is not work that I can always do myself because the brain that's going to do the work is itself often contaminated by anxiety. And sometimes conversations about it can be very helpful as a beginning. But sometimes they keep me stuck in that loop. And this is where a person may need to be able to be open and find out what did God put into the world today for them that can help them go to places that maybe they never had the courage to go to and do it not for frivolousness but this is the ultimate the ultimate path to experience God to experience you to experience you says here is is atmos. It's connecting to your essence. It's letting go of every other definition. You don't have to hold on to anything. And when you let go of everything, you say, "Wow, I'm actually such a good guy." And you say it in the most humble way. Not I'm a good guy like I'm better. Wow. You you're you're not just a good guy. You're actually an infinite guy because in your deepest place your mamish ain't mish and there's no arrogance there. Arrogance is another form of anxiety. Arrogance isn't arrogance equals anxiety. Real joy and humility always work together. That's why he says in joy you go into a sandbox with kids and you're having the time of your life. and real real great people. You see, one minute he could be sitting with a president with a top top person, five minutes later with a child and the second one looks much more fun than the first or at least equal. What happened? It's not because he's doesn't respect himself. It's because the real real person knows how to be in a position and then let go of it in a moment's notice. Why? Because the urin is here. The iron is here. I'm done. I don't have to hold on to anything. But what are they going to say? What? I don't live. What you're going to say? What you're not going to say? He's in touch with the energy. Now, when you go to mitzvah, now when you learn mitzvah, you see these are the channels for this type of oneness. And here's the truth. I could learn my entire life and do mitzvah from a complete lens of trauma and anxiety. I'm dabbing because I have anxiety and I'm learning because I have anxiety or at least I'm trying to get rid of my anxiety and then I'm told I'm not do whatever it is and I believe and I'm not jud I believe it's damaging to tell people sim is not for you it's only for high people that's another way of saying I have to remain a loser till my last breath it's very very unfair to people I could say I don't have a solution for it that's fine I I don't know what to say and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But that's to say, oh, you're looking for the wrong things. Who do you think you are? If you never have anxiety, you could say that because you don't know what it means for that person. And that's okay. I I don't judge you. But there's something this people who are living with crazy anxiety. And even not with crazy anxiety with it's deil debilitating. They can't enjoy the wedding of their children. They can't enjoy the bitzvah of their children. They can't enjoy the birth of a new child. They can't sit on the floor with their beloved children and just play a game or throw a Frisbee and enjoy it. There's so much guilt. It's like you're wasting your time. You should be by a gamar. He's sitting with his child. They're playing a game. You would think it's a moment of bliss. It's not bliss. It's all fake. And the kids feel it. And then he feels guilty. I'm a horrible father. He's actually not a horrible father. He's suffering. He's sick. Sick. Not not He's not a sick person. and he's sick. There's an illness inside of him. He's not a bad person. He's been trying his whole life. He's been trying his whole life. And this is very, very deep developmental states. It could be very complex, extremely developmental, deep in the psyche, which is also why somebody has to be so humble with all the advice that we give people. Because that advice may work for me. It may be brilliant advice for that person, but it may also be offtarget. So the person could say maybe let's try this and I don't know from a place of humility maybe you can do something and maybe not you know let's be open to that when people have this authoritative conclusive advice for every person how to get rid of their anxiety and find their joy they mean well but what's been working for me or not working for me I say it's working for me may really not be your situation huh so for you jet skis work. I get it and and I love that. So, I don't want to argue with you because I love you, but I'm still going to argue with you. So, I'm going to argue with you also. My wife doesn't like jet ski. Jet ski is amazing. Enjoy it. Enjoy. Go boating. Uh he took me out on the boat many times to Gavaldic and for kids it's amazing. And for the Gavaldic and generally the water is a good place to be. Water is because water is connected to the flow of life like we're learning. But there's a big difference between having fun and inner joy. There's just an important difference. Going on a water flume, going on a roller coaster, if you like roller coasters, is good and fun. And if your kids love it, take them and enjoy it. is running for and that's good and it's important important to let go and have fun and don't be so philosophical okay and don't take Rabbi W so seriously and let's not get so intense and enjoy life sometimes you just got to let go and enjoy life and it's very very important that maybe that's the best solution for a lot a lot of people do some exercise go on a hike go on a run play some basketball with your with your children or whatever works for you in a way that you just let go. And it's very true. And also physical exercise physically opens up the energy in the body and you have a flow of adrenaline and it releases chemicals that contribute endorphins that contribute to a person's mood and stability and everybody knows that there was a guy here complaining once remember and I told him do exercise and he says it's true whenever I do exercise I feel good. So I said, "So don't come to the Shia, go do exercise or come to the Shir and do exercise afterwards or better listen to the Shia while you're on the treadmill. So you'll listen to me telling you to do exercise." And for the people who are listening and they're doing exercise now, have me in mind because I I'm just I just got to sit. If I start running on the treadmill while I'm talking, it's not going to work. So I hope you have me in mind. And even though it's a mitzvah, but a little bit at least one level of and and we don't always have to complicate things because sometimes the simple moments of connecting to our loved ones and ourselves and Hashem is is is very deep and in many ways that's the core of it all. It's also though important to understand that cultivating an inner sense of well-being and serenity and tranquility often requires me not only to do things that are fun even though they're important but sometimes there is a condition that is profound and if it's not confronted and dealt with all the fun in the world will really not solve it and this has to do I have a relationship with my essence And I can hike around the whole world. And for exercise, it's good. And for scenery, it's good. And for enjoying God's world, it's galdic. And you could learn through the whole and we don't learn because and it's all and in fact, it's keeping you perhaps on a good track in life. It's giving you a good value system. It's keeping you sane and it's gald people won't even and never mind all the reward etc etc. But nonetheless there could be a mitas of all of this and if I'm not ready or I don't have the courage or I don't even know that I'm capable of confronting all of these blockages that I may not even know they're blockages because they became my second name and I'm used to them but somehow internally there's something off. Here is the courage and the invitation to go into a deeper space of essence which we often need assistance with God's healing modalities that he put into our world which we all need support with or many of us need support with to be able to help us integrate because the key is always integration our deeper selves into our daily selves and sim is a byproduct of gilaim of of of letting go. It's really letting go. The more I let go of any template outside of my core and the core doesn't have a template because the core is infinite and infinity doesn't have a template. And in the deepest deepest core, there's nothing outside of infinity. The whole self is just a manifestation of infinity. even your container. What happens then is all the madragas he says get fed the highest and the lowest come together like the melik in the moment of isgalos the cotton and the gud have the same relationship the same value how how that's what was telling that's why God chose me as a melik and not your father cuz your father got stuck in his position and I'm not malus is bal is le it says it has nothing of its own and because it has nothing of its Even when it has the position of royalty, it's not its own. And therefore, I can let go. It never becomes who I am. It's a position. It's not who I am. Doesn't define me. The moment the position defines me, I'm done. Now, it's hard for many of us because for many of us, religion has become a position. It's like a trap. We're not encouraged to really open ourselves up, to really think big, to really open ourselves up to infinity. In fact, many people would tell people it's dangerous. Stay small and you'll do the right thing. But of course, the felt that in the deepest place people can be trusted because if you're really divine, you're good. So therefore, he's saying that's the So now let's see the last lines. It's late so we're just going to go mish a few minutes here. The line starts and then what happens is so the result of is what did we say that all the lights there's no difference between higher and lower when there's because what came out the essence came out and when the essence comes out the highest and the lowest are one the backend program it's all mixed up it doesn't matter because in the essence in the essence it's all one in the essence the essence is pure there's a system that God made so now it doesn't make a difference who initiates it even this woman this Jew we called because it wasn't coming from her was a gift she's going to bring her children together in the redemption of gula we see even when it's meaning you have this love of both this is what we're asking at the letj rejoice on this level. How when we when we go and when we have the courage to go to a place of below in our life referring to the Jewish people who are called they're called barren because they're not capable at the moment of owning this type of relationship this type of connection and they're still in a more deficient space. That's why we called her a barren woman because she herself can't initiate all of these emotions, all of these powerful connections, all of these powerful relation. And even if she has it, it's a gift from above. It's not mine. But when we allow ourselves to let go of everything and go into a place of mitzvah rejoice the mitzvah which is the ultimate form of letting go of any expectation any ego including the anxiety that I have to be happy let go of that let go let go is the so just let go of everything including you're not you idiot such an idiot I'm not I'm so depressed what's wrong with me I'm laughing it's not so funny by the way if you're dealing with this it ain't funny my dear but you got to make a joke sometimes about things that are not funny also right but the truth is you could start laughing internally like when that partim let go of that oh let go of it why I said let go of it you know that you're an idiot wow yeah let's go let go of that too it's really it's it's really like it's almost breathing into it I said shabas In order to let go of something, you first have to hold on to it. I can't let go of this tissue box if I'm not holding it. You say, "Let go." Let go means you have to look at it. You have to hold on to it. If you don't hold on to it, you're not going to let go. You're just going to bypass it and it's going to go deep inside and wreak havoc and exact vengeance in the right time. So, you hold on to it. You look at it. You breathe into it and you're like, "I got you. I hear you." You look at the bodyguard. You give him a hug. You say, "You worked so hard for so many years. Here's a $50,000 check. Baraka Patrani, I love you. Next bodyguard. Okay, give me a hug. Okay, bye." And they actually will look at you and they say, "Thank you. It's nice to have vacation. Been doing this for 52 years. Nice to have a little vacation." You understand? So that can go to a place of but without the guilt of something actually happens in a very deep place. When we have the courage to open ourselves up to our own joy, God becomes happy. It's a people don't realize your creates happiness on every level of reality because you're connected to every level of reality. So you arouse you say what God is miserable without you. The vert is our relationships are so deep that we affect each other in a very deep place. The whole idea of creation is God's vulnerability that we're connected. Yes, you affect me. I need you cuz I want you. I love you. So the in the person letting go, we think letting go is just for your own sake. It's for God's sake. This is the ultimate. The ultimate is very good question. I'm saying we affect God. What does means that even you with all your experiences is not a change of God's infinite reality? Because he is the symb. Yeah. I mean he designed that. Exactly. Yeah. Right. Even that even you are not a ch when you say again we always think God didn't change but me I'm just a wreck. He told me I'm a wreck means that you being a wreck is also on an energetic level. You could let go of that and and let go let God. In other words, that's you're you're one on you're one in every level. And that is what simka looks like. So in a very in a funny way, what he's saying here is when I could go to my place of simka, suddenly what am I touching? I'm touching God's joy. That's what it really means to be happy. What it really means to be happy is to experience yourself the way God experiences you. And it's just so much joy there. He's crazy about you. How do I know? He created you. He had nothing better to do. This infinite God had nothing better to do than create you. Really? He was so bored. Created my crazy brain with all my mashagas. You know, we think we have big egos. Trust me, the biggest ego in the world relative to God's infinity is not even a grain of sand. So what are you creating such a like it's it's like a joke. We think our egos are big. Even Napoleon's ego is less than a grain of sand re relative to reality. But somehow your brain and your consciousness is indispensable to the whole system. That's how much he's crazy and loves you. Simka really means letting go of everything besides our truest essence. And in our truest essence, you see the joy that is called you which God has with you. So your joy is Hashem's joy. That's what it is. So the two interpretations come together when learns to rejoice to find her. It's now you bring joy to the and this is rejoices with her children and with her sons. And now we come to the last he said you didn't serve Hashem with joy and therefore you're going to serve your enemies. So he asked really just because you didn't have joy. He says this is the only way not to serve your enemy. The result of lack of joy is that I start serving my enemy. What does it mean? I serve my enemy. It doesn't only mean an enemy on the outside. It means an enemy on the inside. All the nefil all the fallings of people you have an aila. It's like a roller coaster. I'm on top of the world. Then I'm on bottom of the world. I go into the abyss. I go into depression. and I go into an anxiety. I lose myself in Tyus. I lose self-control. I lose my discipline. I lose my morality. I lose my equilibrium. I lose my decency, my humanness. I lose my sanity. Suddenly, I'm serving my enemy. You're serving. You become a slave to your enemy. The enemy inside, not just the enemy outside. There's the enemy outside. Slaves. But there's the enemy. I become literally a slave to to my enemy. My enemy is literally using me, manipulating using my resources, my talents, my body, my my h everything it's using. How does that happen? What happens is I go in to protecting the yesesh. That's what happens. And that's the opposite of I have to be something. The moment you have to be something, your enemy knows how to take over because your enemy will now have an opportunity to tell you who you are and who you're not. Once you have to be something, oh, oh, I'm a loser. Okay, I think I got to eat. Oh, I'm a winner. Okay, now I'm a loser. I'm I'm busy with myself of positioning myself in life. The moment you're busy positioning yourself, even if the position is I love God, I now I'm so vulnerable to being away. sim is I could let go of putting myself in a position I'm successful. I'm not successful. I'm a good guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm doing well. I'm not doing well. I'm amazing. I'm healed. The moment I'm healed an hour later I'm the sickest guy in the world. Why? Because the yesesh took over. The took over. That's the aut. So that's what he says. All she knew him in life the nefill from godless to cottonos from maturity to immaturity from expansiveness to narrowness to jealousy even cravings which is serving the enemy it's because there's no I went into a place of I love I want I want to hold on I'm thinking about myself even in a good way I want to be connected that's the antithesis Whenever it's I want to be connected, there's no joy. The joy is when you go to your atmos where you let go of everything and then you're just in flow. The moment there's a self-consciousness, even if it's spiritual self-consciousness, I don't mean self-consciousness. I want to impress everybody, they like me. I'm talking even a spiritual self-consciousness. Ah, I want to have which is a very very deep space. But over there, over there, the sim has been compromised because I'm not ready to let go of that. Or I'm busy judging myself, taking credit. I'm taking credit. I'm not taking once I'm taking credit, I'm already lost because now the credit can be taken away from me. You know, I know sometimes I'll have a spiritual moment and the the snake comes in. The snake comes in. The snake wants to attribute it to me. Look, look how did it look amazing. Look amazing. You know, I can finish a she sometimes and it really hits the spot at least for me, maybe even for other people that they have to say. And for a moment, the snake comes in. And it's not a bad thing. It was a very good thing. It was a holy thing. It was serving God in a good way. In a good way. And it's not even taking credit like uh I could now manipul not manipulative in a in a spiritual pure way like wow. about. Yeah, it's a form of holding on to something of self. It feels good. There's only one issue. 3 hours later, I'm going to be looking to feel good in other ways. I just took myself out of flow and there's no sim there. And you'll feel it right away. It's torture. In sim, you never have to point to the self. This looks like, wow, thank you, Hashem, for allowing us to be able to be together and serve you. I happen to be the one speaking. Okay, one guy has to be, you know, the yukul, the clown. You need one guy to be a clown, right? So, I'll be the clown. I'll be on the jet ski. You say, "Whoa, what about your position?" That's what David Malik says. Do me a favor with positions. Okay. Do me a favor. Keep the position somewhere else. Yeah, but you're this, you're that. Now you start serving your enemy. The moment I'm this and I'm that once said, you know what that means? Huh? Yeah. Don't become this is who I am now. and in an hour. It's a flexibility that comes from real confidence, not fake confidence. You're you're pushing flow and you're not the moment I focus on my accomplishment, I take myself out of flow. I literally I extricate myself out of flow. I turn myself into a deity, even if it's a spiritual self, cuz we're talking about a good guy who's loving God at the moment. And he says, "And from there you go into and into and then into you're just a very very extremely vulnerable. You end up by your enemy by your inner enemy and you become your own enemy. Saves you from these from these changes. So once there was all the equations change you could say yeah but I'm not there wasn't I'm not a is where comes in [Music] Have a joyous day. Tomorrow morning we have a shar for the women at 84 viola 9:30 and Thursday morning we'll meet again presence the second you're busy with yourself can't be in the same room an arrogant person but we shouldn't mistake what That means sometimes people are not busy with themselves from a place of anxiety. I'm such a weird guy. Don't be busy with me. You understand? But that's not going to be that. If I'm running away from myself, that's not sim. If I'm taking myself and lifting it up and letting go of myself as being detached, being detached because the second it's I myself, you chase. If I'm if Exactly. It it's it's actually it's actually it's self- neglect. Being a yesh is neglect of self because the real self is divine. So when you say nurture the self of course nurture the self nurture the real self you know the so what does that mean? Hashem should fulfill all of your requests. Said hashem all your requests in life should be that hashem should be filled that hashem should be filled. That should be that should be all your requests. Hashem should be filled. [Music] It's not running away from the self cuz I'm such a mess. I'm such a s guy. let me just think about God. Then you're not thinking about God. Then you're running away from yourself. So God becomes a substitute and a distraction feeding the anxiety and then ultimately you're going to end up not liking God because he was the one who just fed your anxiety more. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. Boogie Monster. It's hard. This is hard stuff. This is real work. This is real real work. This is where religion can be the great cover up of reality or the great conduit for reality. Religion can either be the worst cover up, the worst distraction or could become as said if it's straighter straight from the source. [Music] Not huh? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, pleasure. Thank you everybody for gracing us. Thank you Hashem.