Living With Emunah (Part 178): Hashem on Your Caller ID

good morning boko tov welcome back living with emunah our wednesday shire support group gathering friendship in which we come together to remember what really matters what is most important who we are who were meant to be and our relationship with the almighty our mission of feeling and seeing his presence in our life on a regular basis so thank you coming back together again and for joining i want to thank our generous sponsors uh the series sponsors for the year doctors avi and bella morgan so generously have sponsored a memory of rabbi dr brian galbet so chronolog in memory of bella's mother dr ellen shanzer thank you so much for your generosity i also want to thank this particular morning sponsor today's class yvette and dr aaron kaplan dear friends in honor of the shlosham of yvette's stepfather solomon schlosser shy ben ephraim moshe so the shaman should have an aliyah and yvette and the whole family should find comfort okay we've been studying the wonderful saver by richard meyer morgenstern and we're learning how to acquire the attribute the character trait of us how to cling to the almighty how to feel his presence in our lives how to connect him in a most meaningful way and if you remember last time we left off with some out there hibijibi stuff i hope that you're back today and we didn't lose you since the last time because richard meyer talked about the fourth suggestion in which we can live with vegas the fourth critical suggestion about how we can live life with an awareness of a presence of hashem feeling connected feeling loved feeling comfort feeling support feeling confidence we're going to review them very very quickly what they were number one amuna you have to set aside time to think to just be so much noise so much momentum so much chaos so much motion sickness you forget what matters what's important who's there a relationship with god needs time and needs communication we have to talk to him and we have to listen and perceive when he's talking to us number one was the moon number two torah and phila that we sometimes forget that the process of studying torah the process of doing mitzvos are there in order to enrich our lives spiritually sometimes we're so consumed or caught up with the minutia and the details sometimes we're so concerned but did we fulfill the mitzvah we forget that through it we're meant to feel more connected to god so we can imbue and embed all of our actions with some mindfulness and some meaning so that they result in our feeling closer feeling closer to god number four is what we're up to which is shameless hakadosh you're using hashem's holy names and this is what was out there and what i said i hope i didn't lose you i hope i don't lose myself the shame of sacred ocean using god's names that if a person were to sit and meditate a person were to concentrate and reflect a person were to trace god's name either letter by letter or see the whole name like a neon sign flashing and be thinking about that name thinking about what that name means you know one of the ways when i'm counseling particularly young people who are in the stage of dating and they're not sure if this is the one or i talk to people who are in marriage and they're not sure if they're in crisis one of the barometers one of the metrics that i try to use is i ask the following question when you see the other person's name come up on your caller id how do you feel how do you react how do you feel if when you see the other person's colder id name come up on the caller id if your heart skips a beat if you can't wait to press answer if you're so excited to have them check in with your day and you check in with theirs it's a good sign it's a healthy sign but if you see someone's name come up and you go oh what do i do i ignored it the last three times can i press or ignore again at what point will i be in trouble maybe this one i have to answer but i can keep it short then your relationship might be in crisis you might be in trouble a name when you see that name flash it tells you everything about the relationship a name is extraordinarily powerful and therefore says richard meyer if a person dedicates time to meditate to reflect to be to exist to think sit take some deep breaths that hashama the neshima restore that sense of soul picture hashem's name different names reflect different aspects of god and when using his name feel that affection that love that connection even that intimacy that confidence a name you had homework i don't know if anybody did their homework but if you recall the homework i gave you from last week was to try to use people's names so when you're online at publix the supermarket or whether you are in a conversation with someone else in the middle of the conversation use the person's name and see what that does see how it makes you feel to use a name see how it makes the other person come alive feel validated feel they're not invisible just by using their name names are extraordinarily extraordinarily powerful and that's why that is the fourth mechanism to achieve a level of vacuous is to sit and to think and to picture and to visualize and to concentrate and to feel connected and especially when it comes to hashem you see when it comes to people so i'm streaming on three platform four platforms simultaneously right now but one of them i can see other people including my amazing wife so when you see someone's image when you see their picture you could think about them through their image through their picture but with hashem we don't have that luxury there is no image of god that we can picture we don't know hashem through explicit conversation or an image or a connection how do we know hashem we know hashem through his name his name is as close as we come to his essence and to who he is so that's why when it comes to other people i might sit and concentrate and i might picture them i might picture an experience i have with them i might think of somewhere we went or something we did or a laugh or a fun time or a meal and that's how i feel connected but with hashem we don't have that image we don't have that memory of being able to see her picture the closest we come to him is his name his name is a description of who he is or his names the many names he has are descriptions of who he is and that's why not coincidentally what do we call it our mission and our mandate in life i hope everybody's already on their way to doing it for today nekadesh s shimhab our goal is to make a kiddish hashem we're trying to sanctify god's name and the opposite is what we're trying to avoid god forbid not to create a hashem god forbid not to desecrate god's name or to make god's name diminished or to push god's name further away from people our mission and our mandate is to make a kirish hashem and to avoid a hashem and when we talk about that relationship with god we connect with and we're talking about doing so through his name and that's why the name is the media's medium or the mechanism the name is the vehicle through which we can try to further connect it to him and the more that a person does the size of it according to their strength their ability is going to open up a whole new world it's going to open a whole new world dedicate three minutes a day go on airplane mode take a few deep breaths dedicate 30 seconds before you darwin just picture his name think about it concentrate it reflect and when you first started don't give up you're going to feel like a total whack-a-doodle you're going to feel like a total weirdo it's going to feel so unfamiliar and out of character you're going to wonder what you look like and why you're but if you persevere and if you have courage and if you stubbornly continue you will merit that god will open it up for you the oven you'll understand the way and you will succeed in attaching yourself in clinging through your thoughts to hashem by using and imagining by picturing and connecting with hashem's holy names now he points out here in the footnote but you have to know at the outset or with everything spiritual it takes effort it takes time it doesn't happen overnight it doesn't happen immediately so maybe the first time you did it or maybe the fifth time you did it it was incredibly moving powerful you got up you felt so much more connected you felt so much more alive you felt so much more confident about hashem's role in your life but then the sixth time you did it it disappeared where'd it go that didn't do it for me you need to know says richard that that's the pattern that's what's going to happen when it comes to when it comes to spiritual endeavors and efforts and ambitions sometimes they come easy they feel connected you know that with davening sometimes the dhavani moves us we feel incredibly connected in other times we struggle to connect to our davening it fluctuates don't give up don't stop don't concede don't surrender and keep sitting and thinking and connecting and picturing until until your life becomes illuminated until the light goes off until the light bulb appears over your head and you say ooh i see him i feel him i know him i know him vimlo may your love and if it is work stay stubborn and persevere and the merit of continuing and trying finally when you think of hashem's name with the punctuation of a holy bochuka masaya one of the things that you can concentrate and meditate on while you're doing this exercise is why isn't it working one of the prayers you could have is why aren't i connecting that guffa is one of the thoughts and one of the reflections that you can have so so important um and the person who perseveres who courageously and stubbornly continues will merit to be illuminated and enlightened from above vyara love is you will feel the fire of the joy of knowing god the into the pleasure of an intimate connection with the almighty with the source of the entire universe um just like when it comes to every other effort every other area of our own personal growth you can't skip steps you can't run too fast you got to go slowly incrementally so when is the best time to do it when you wake up in the morning probably not if you got kids you got to get off to school and carpool you got to get to work you got to get to davening may not be the best time late at night maybe you're exhausted maybe you're spent maybe you've got nothing left in the tank when is the your best time middle of the day after you exercise before you exercise when is your best time to sit and to experience just being and thinking and reflecting and picturing the name of god with a certain serenity and calmness not with your device going berserk and not when your mind is is clogged and polluted by all the things you have to do with shabbos to try to take an honest assessment about how do i feel and in what way am i connected and to dive into hashem to truly connect to him in this way starts at 8 45 at 8 43 you sat at your device and you said i'm going to take a few deep breaths i'm going to picture the name of hashem i'm going to picture myself attaching and clinging to him i'm going to picture a life where i'm sanctifying his name i'm going to picture that i'm calm and serene i have no anger i have no arrogance i have no envy i have no jealousy because i'm just attaching myself to that neon sign to that name i'm seeing hashem's name on his caller id he's calling me he's connecting to me i see his name coming up and my heart is skipping a beat and now i start the sheer and now i start the da field me and now i start minha and now i start to braid my khala and now i start homework with my kids but first i spent a moment 30 seconds one minute picturing hashem's name connecting attaching feeling his presence in my life and feeling that sense of comfort that comes that comes with it um continues he says now we're going to give it a try together i'm going to tell you some of the names of god and what to picture and what they look like and if you thought it was out there last week wait until now we're going to picture some group meditation over technology over uh online and to picture these names but before we do i wanted to share two other thoughts with you two other thoughts with you one so last week you know we have uh indoor davenight distance masks safe secure we also have a large tent we put up outside 210 side by side to have outdoor davening so i try to dive into the outdoor minion at least once a week i speak i give it to our torah out there last week i'm dominating at the minecraft or minion and a car pulls up and pulls in the handicapped spot and to be honest i'm somewhat cynical of the people who park in the handicapped spot when they don't need it came out of the car and frankly and embarrassingly i'm ashamed to say i was skeptical while he was parking there he was late we had started but nevertheless that's not an excuse to park where you don't belong even if you're running late but then he went to the back door of the car and out came what looked like a young 13 14 15 year old boy and the father took out a walker and was helping this boy out of the car and this 14 year old boy making up his age but that's what he seemed to me i noticed i was wondering all while i was trying to concentrate on davening i admit but why did he need a walker and then i saw that out of the bottom of one of his pant legs there was no foot there was no leg that emerged the boy had one leg and he was using the walker to hobble and jump and make his way to the tent where we had our minion and i was watching this father so lovingly and so affectionately and so selflessly care for and help balance and protect and lift this young boy who undoubtedly he had to do i'm gonna guess maybe since he was born and likely will have to shower with that love and support for a long time to come and i watched the father help the boy sit down in the chair and when it was time get up from the chair and i watched the boy with his walker hop on the one foot to three steps back at the end of the amidah hop on his one foot the three steps forward the beginning of the amidah and i could barely concentrate on my own davina while i was watching this because there was just one thought that kept overwhelming me and that was wow this life is not easy for this young man and in his world it's qasid's world who is he going to marry what family will he build what career will he have what will life look like life look like when it has that challenge and this father what did it take to get this young man on a plane and to travel and to be here what does it mean with every time they need to go somewhere the extra time that has to be built in the extra effort that has to be expressed and exerted it's all i could think about and then i thought about abraham we say every single morning in our birkhasa in the 15 blessings that we wake up for that are supposed to calibrate and orient our day with an attitude of gratitude if you've never listened you could go back to the beginning of sitter snippets we went through these brahos one by one and one of them is that god you prepare our steps you prepare our steps you give us the ability to wake up and to walk you give us the capacity to have a certain level of independence you give us the ability to engage and encounter and navigate around your world and i thought to myself boy if you woke up this morning with two feet you're ahead of the game you're certainly ahead of this young man and his family and looking at him and watching him and enjoy he had a smile and he seemed joyful i don't know him i didn't come to know him and i didn't see him again and for all i know you know he he focuses on the challenges of his life but in that little interaction i had from a distance and to say shalom aleichem there seemed to be a joy in this happiness despite what he was missing and if you have two feet and you woke up this morning and put two feet on the ground when you got out of bed and if you didn't have to think twice about carrying a child to a car or out of a car or with their walker or how to get them into class or how to get them where you needed to go but you're able to just run and do and push and walk and go what a bracha hashem loves you boy does hashem love you so these are the things that we take for granted until we don't have them but that's what it means to live a life of dvakas it means that when i wake up in the morning and i put on my two shoes i'm putting on my two expressions of gratitude that i have two feet if you put on two shoes this morning if you have two feet ham shasta like hashem you've done everything that i need gemara says that in the old days and talmudic times these blessings the birkha sasha that we say we didn't say as part of davening we said as part of the way we woke up in the morning when you opened your eyes and you said wow i can see pokevrim i have not been getting a lot of sleep and i'll tell you not for your sympathy when i wake up tired in the morning my eyes can be blurry and it's not just a few times that i wake up wondering do i have a problem with my eyes do i need to go get new glasses can i see hashem with a little rest and the trusted cup of coffee the sight returns and the blurriness disappears and dissipates but hashem i can see wow i can see we're scheduled today right linda we've got a conversion today are based in for conversion conversing a wonderful woman who's legally blind who struggles to be able to see who wants to join the jewish people what courage what perseverance what beautiful attitude with joy and wants to join the jewish people so welcome to have her can't wait for her to be a member of our of our tribe a real tribute to our tribe you open your eyes hashem loves you you woke up you have two feet that you can put on the ground two feet to put shoes on too you woke up you could run to your car and get the kids in the car hashem loves you and so hashem is speaking to us each and every day but do we hear him do we hear him hashem is talking to us and he's expressing his love to us and you'll say well i'm entitled i'm supposed to have two feet and i'm supposed to have my eyesight and i'm supposed to have my hearing and i'm supposed to have a roof over my head and i'm supposed to have food in my mouth to which i ask you who says who says you're entitled to anything who says that you should start with anything that you're entitled to anything we're entitled to nothing and whatever we have is from above is a blessing and every day we should wake up with that feeling of gratitude for having it but also recognize from where it comes and how quickly it could disappear that's what these broccolis do but unfortunately many people say them while driving or running to shul or why getting the kids in the car for carpool or running through while still cleaning or straightening up the house or don't say them at all they are the compass to calibrate and start our day with an attitude of gratitude wow god i've got two feet wow can you imagine someone would think you're insane if every day you say to them just wanted to let you know i still have two feet today i'm so grateful i woke up i have two feet putting out two shoes i'm feeling great that's what our life is supposed to be and imagine how much more rich and meaningful life would be if we had that level of awareness and sensitivity to see the blessings that are all around us and to express gratitude for them to feel his love you know when we don't feel his love when one of the shoes is stuck under a bed and you can't find it when there's a knot in the shoelace and it's taking five extra minutes to get ready in the morning where are you god what was me why do bad things happen to good people you still have two shoes you have two feet be grateful you have two feet you got a lot to say thank you for so i wanted to share that reflection of seeing this young man and watching the the effort it took and the love and affection of his father and the recognition that i looked down at my own two feet and i said wow am i grateful hashem boy do i want to attach myself to you and feel your love and feel grateful for all that you do that is number one number two i wrote an article a few weeks ago about smiling and i spoke about a study came out that shows that if you smile while you receive the inoculation if you get a shot if you smile while you get the shot when you use engage the micro muscles in your face it releases endorphins that give you strength and the study showed that the shot that you take the shot in the arm literally shot in the arm is 40 percent less painful if you smile while you get it if you haven't gotten your shot yet don't forget to smile but i also in the article i talked about the importance of smiling the yakov praises yehuda the white of his teeth are whiter than milk revolver says that milk can nourish the body calcium milk arguably can help the body grow but smile the the energy that you pass to someone when you smile is even greater than milk or calcium you give them to help them grow you'll make a person sit upright stand upright you'll make a person more confident more happy more secure when you flash your your white teeth when you smile at them even more than if you give a wonderful beverage that lifts their spirits i spoke about solante says our face is uh our face is a public domain and we have to therefore take responsibility for the demeanor and the disposition that we project to others because of the impact that it has on them and i spoke about lastly in the article that one of the things i think we've been deprived of for almost a year with these masks is the ability to exchange smiles that half the time i'm in shoes i see someone across the room i haven't seen them in a long time or i want to check in and so i'm smiling at them and wondering why are they ignoring me back until i realize they can't even see me smile so wearing these masks has deprived us of the smiles and smiles we need we need smiles to exchange energy we need smiles in order to create a sense of of love companionship and so on so i got the following extraordinary email from someone i don't have permission to use her name but i was blown away by this email and i want to share with you so much of what i receive the muna stories please keep them coming they give me enormous physic they strengthen me and they enable me to share them with you and i hope they strengthen so many other people so someone shared with me that she heard about i read the article about smiles and that five and a half years ago their 19 year old son became paralyzed overnight was sick for three months and passed away soon after his 20th birthday i can't and don't even want to imagine that pain of losing a child that's knocked darko shalom that's not the way the world is supposed to be that pain must be borderline unbearable and the person says during this period of the illness one of the biggest complaints was that no one smiled at her anymore she says i understood that friends felt they needed to show me they shared my pain and if they didn't demonstrate the pain i might think they didn't care however being in the position i was she writes and having the happy disposition i've been blessed with the lack of smiles was a large part of the nissan i endured it took months after he passed away for people to start smiling at me again and i was blown away that it never occurred to me and it was counterintuitive i would think that someone went through such an acute loss such a painful event it'd be inappropriate grossly inappropriate and sensitive to smile at such a person and of course i'm not suggesting that you pay a shiver call with a big smile on your face or that you attend a funeral with laughter what i am saying is that soon after you have to be able to continue to smile because we draw from the smiles the energy of one another so here's someone who went through such pain the loss of a child and nowhere does she suggest that it wasn't painful nowhere does she suggest that smiling or trying to be positive is a contradiction to mourning or grieving or feeling the pain of the loss what she says though is that at the same time simultaneously feeling the pain of the loss to also be deprived of smiles the energy of smiles from others that is something which only compounds the pain and is so grossly unfair so our ability to have a positive demeanor if you woke up with two feet if you open your eyes and you have the ability to see if you have and identify the areas and the things in life to be happy about then there's so much to thank say thank you hashem there's so much to field vegas and cling to and be grateful to hashem and that's part of the exercise that we can do in following meyer's suggestion of sitting and meditating and reflecting and picturing whether the letters that comprise hashem's name we're seeing the whole world flash at us the word of the name of hashem in a neon way but maybe one of the things that we can do is attitude of gratitude is to think about okay what am i grateful for today i have two feet i can see what am i grateful for today that people smile at me and i can smile at others what am i grateful for today the big things the little things what am i grateful for today but to use those moments for an attitude of gratitude okay back to the text let's try the first one the first way to picture this if you're driving if it don't try this while you're driving the name that applies to the character trait of dvakas of gluing ourselves attaching ourselves clinging ourselves to god shay mahavaya shikolos yosum minucados benikor hollam the shame havaya of hashem's name picture that name in your thought process so picture you'd then hey then hey picture hashem's name he was he is and he will be and while picturing that name of hashem that spells out was is and will be thinking about that name let your heart fill with love with connection with gratitude with attaching ourselves to him well that's his name that's his name president prime minister master king was is will be all powerful who doesn't want to attach themselves to the name all-powerful who doesn't want to attach themselves to the name all-powerful kahoshi bazaar and the more that you surrender and let yourself go the more you connect to that name the more you see it flash before your eyes the more you lean in and recognize his greatness his omnipotence the more you realize his providence the more you realize every big word you could think about about him the more connected you're going to feel to him the more you will let go and let god the more you will submit to that higher power the more you will cling to him and realize that i have nothing to fear nothing to be worried about everything is and will be the way it's meant to be he's in charge he's in control i can get through it whether you're lying in the mri machine or waiting for a result whether you're waiting whether you're going to make your flight whether you're waiting for news from somebody whether you're struggling with an investment that went sour a relationship that's in crisis or bad medical news or whatever the challenge is pause stop think picture and connect attach in the second one he says the notion of climbing a ladder and connecting to god and he spoke about this earlier and every aspiring spiritually aspiring person according to their level and according to what they're capable of behold climb the ladder to connect and then descend from the ladder and this notion of the latter is important because you can't close your eyes and picture hashem's name you can't attach and submit if you're supposed to be having dinner with your spouse or your children what kind of a parent or spouse will you be if you're supposed to be fully present with them but right now you're doing that you can't do it if you're driving that will not end well for you so you need to know when to climb the ladder i want to come down from the ladder when to be intensely spiritual when to be closing eyes and connecting and when to come down and to regroup and to take it and to take it back into the regular life the first rung of the latter is kabbalah's old there's a god i accept it upon myself i have responsibility there's accountability and that's the first rung then i climb the next rung to ava and i love this god to know god is to love god i'm going to spend time to come to know him and once i come to know him to know god is to love god but whoa i can't just love god when i think about who he is and his greatness and how much power he has then i also have awe and reverence and a little bit of fear and the next rung on the ladder is vegas wow i have a kabbalah soul i accept upon myself the yoke the accountability the responsibility i love god i have a healthy dose of or fear of god and now i want to connect and attach to god. and then contemplativeness and then yearning and then being on fire and then to nullify ourselves to god surrender each of these is a rung on a ladder and you have to picture and think about and climb that ladder of these experiences you have to dwell and spend time on each of these rungs achievements you feel yourself filling with his light chain yes but on the other hand you can't stay there too long you get stuck you have to be going up and down there has to be movement rhythm and movement in that relationship with god if you stay still or stay in place too long it grows stale and you will be paralyzed that's also not healthy so those were the first two number one shame avaya and number two the sulam the picturing the climbing ascending descending the ladder and then i'll move on and we'll start with this next week the notion of the chariot and traveling in the chariot with god and then we're gonna come back to something that feels more relatable or more familiar to many of us but that's your homework your homework is to try this homework is to be grateful if you have two feet be grateful if you have two feet if you have one foot be grateful you can hop imagine having no feet be grateful for what you have grateful for what you have an attitude of gratitude and to spend this time to quiet the noise to just be to picture and attach ourselves to his name and if i have to leave you with one bumper sticker or motto it's live life where you see god's name coming up on the caller id so when i saw that young man and my reaction and my feeling was wow i have two feet i look down at my two feet and what i saw were not two feet i saw hashem's name on my caller id when things work out when things go well you're feeling hashem's name coming up on your caller id so when you look at your children's face with their big smile and their joy and their happiness and that you're blessed to have them in your life that's hashem's name coming up on your caller id look for the blessing see his name come up and get to a place where when god's name comes up on the caller id you never plus ignore but your heart skips a beat you can't wait to connect and to connect even further so thanks for connecting with me this morning and joining don't forget to smile even to the people going through challenging times maybe they need smiles even more than anyone else until next time stay happy stay healthy stay holy tonight 9 pm we're going behind the beam of sivan rahav mayer amazing media personality in israel and uh just amazing personality in general very very excited to go behind the bema with her we also have a short special appearance by a jewish music world superstar very exciting you don't want to miss that's nine o'clock tonight in behind the bema subscribe to our youtube channel to be alerted about every time we go live and the opportunity to learn together thank you to our sponsors this morning and everybody have a phenomenal phenomenal day