Living With Emunah (Part 205): Making Time to Think

good morning boca rato welcome back to living with emunah our last living with emunah tough shin pay aleph of the year great to be together and to once again reinforce within ourselves and in one another to remember that there's hashem as a creator of the world that we're not here alone we're not meant to navigate the world on our own but that he's right by our side he's guiding us and he is supporting us and all that happens is for a reason there are no coincidences there is no chance there is no randomness but whatever is happening in our life is the way it was meant to be i want to thank our generous serious sponsors for the year dr xavi and bella morgan who i finally got to meet over zoom yesterday and really phenomenal people so deeply appreciative to my dear friends the morgans who sponsored a memory of a great example of living with a moon rabbi dr brian galbenza and bella's mother dr ellen chandser who was a good friend i found out of my grandmother and other nishama's should have an alia thank you so much to the morgans for their generosity also this morning shir is sponsored anonymously sponsored for the refuge and sponsored by my dear friends heidi and allen fuchs in memory of al amsel an icon of my childhood epinephrine and teaneck whose your side is heir of rosh hashanah thank you to the fuchs our good friends for many many years for sponsoring a memory of heidi's father we miss ao we love al and uh they've also sponsored it in honor of brs and all that we provide in programming and teaching and learning and how to be the best version of ourselves okay living with emunah before we dive back into bayam before we dive back into ravitcher meyer morgenstern i want to share with you something on the parsha that i mentioned yesterday in the parashashira bears repeating i don't know if you heard the parshas here if you will hear the parshashir or if you have no interest in hearing the parashashir it bears repeating in our passionates of him or maybe you're listening to living with a moon at some other time of the year you're catching up and it's not partisan it's of him but the lesson remains remains uh just as relevant the parachute tells us the torah tells us that there will come a time will be dispersed among the nations of the world we will be in exile and in that time living in that environment suffering that struggle we will shaft we will be inspired we'll be motivated we'll be moved to return to hashem russell points out what should the positive said not visaf that return should not be add it should be el we return to god sounds like up to and including god how does one return odd you can't climb into the heavens we are not omnipotent and infinite we are not god so how can you return how could you repair how could we even purify ourselves no matter how good we are no matter how much we restore ourselves to our original form still how can we go ah how can we reach the heavens how can we reach hashem bailey's so happy you're back great to see you this morning so why isn't it el why is it odd and if salvation here has an extraordinary extraordinary insight listen carefully my dear living with amuna friends salavichik says because we are not going to god we are going unto god what is the difference between going to hashem and going on to hashem going to hashem is a kevoon it's a direction it means i'm living my life searching and yearning and looking for him it means i'm trying to move in the direction and the trajectory of a better me and of being closer with him and of seeing him more in my life i'm going towards i'm going to god that's el but vasata ad is not to or towards ad is unto it is connecting with it is collapsing on it is being supported by it is the recognition and the realization that god is in our life and that all that happens is for a reason and that we are able to submit and surrender unto god not to god but unto god and the rav in this piece which originally appears in before hashem but is printed in the salvation and our pasha and its of him he says that yaddas relies on three attributes of the individual the head the hand and the heart the head is the intellectual the ignoramus cannot be a good jew a righteous jew you have to be knowledgeable you have to study you have to learn you have to engage and challenge the head the heart too i'm sorry the hand too involves mitzvah performance you have to do mitzvos with your hands you have to be active and engaged our behavior and our lifestyle has to match that expectation of us of torah and writes the rav although one can find the first two attributes in abundance today people are learning and studying torah our head is engaged one can find the observance of mitzvos and acts of our hands are being used but the third aspect is wanting among contemporary american jews the heart involves experiencing hashem emotionally and rahmana liba hashem of course wants our actions but he really wants our heart and in that way is he any different than the other relationships in life you know if you come home with chocolates and you come home with jewelry and you come home with candy and you come on with cards of course your spouse will appreciate it and there are many who neglect that and it's deeply unappreciated of course they'll appreciate it however it's not enough if all you have are the gestures externally but your heart is not in it there's no love there's no emotion there's no romance there's no connection then what relationship do you have a relationship needs to have the head the hand and the heart and which is most central which is most critical so hashem tells us through his agents our rabbis tell us hashem wants our heart he wants us to be thoughtful and intentional he wants us to feel and emote he wants us to be romantically involved with him he wants us to talk to him to communicate him to confide in him to be grateful to him to cry to him to protest and object and scream at him he wants our heart to be engaged not just external actions not just superficial gestures but to be engaged one must feel the emotional pull of the ribbon of shalom can a jew genuinely feel his presence writer of salvation based on my own personal experience the encounter with hashem is eminently possible man not only must believe in god he must feel god's hand supporting his head during times of emotional turmoil potential bali chuba pined for the sublime sense of hearing god's whisper the experience of hashem involves the very real perception of contact communication and dialogue great is chuva it reaches the ki sayah kavod that's what it means that's what it means he writes he concludes rashik without my feeling the presence of hashem in 1967 when i suffered the loss of my mother brother and my wife in the same year i would not have been able to maintain my emotional equilibrium the perception of hashem's proximity was particularly strong during the study of torah while pouring over the opinions of abaya and rava i sensed hashem's presence in that room and so my dear friends rahman alibaba boy you know we're in a time of year we're evaluating we're getting ready we're preparing we're promising we're trying to persuade god to bring us back to renew our contract that we have a role and a mission here in his world we're about to hit rosh hashanah rahman libab it's not about turning the pages of the maxr it's not just how hard you could chuckle it's not just how fast you could say the words he wants what's in our heart talk connect confide he wants us to be engaged in a living vibrant real authentic sincere relationship and when we do it's not vishafta we're not returning l we're not just in a direction we're not just a trajectory we're not just towards him we are unto him not to him but unto him ad not el we have the ability to reach ad you hashem tonight i'm behind the bhima we're having sheryl sandberg who's the ceo of facebook an extraordinarily successful woman a traditional jew not observant but very traditional and she moved me very deeply with her book option b she lost her husband dave who died tragically she was on a business trip and uh was exercising in the workout room and left him to go get ready for dinner said she'd meet him at dinner he never showed she looked all over for him finally went back to the workout room only to find him collapsed next to the treadmill he had passed out he was in great shape he was healthy successfully he died very very suddenly and she wrote a book about resilience about endurance she wrote a book about how you can move to option b when option a has been taken away from you and we already the interview the show tonight is live before and after the interview but the interview is already done and i can tell you that she says in the interview she says i didn't really believe in god before dave died i don't know if i believed in god before dave died but when he died and when she had to dig deep and find that strength and find that endurance in order to persevere in order to overcome when she had to move to option b is when she really connected with god you don't want to miss that conversation it's at nine o'clock tonight or you can listen anytime afterwards or watch anytime afterwards on youtube or a podcast player i say this not to shamelessly promote behind the bima i say this because it's really worth hearing her and hearing ramosha weinberger last week who is extraordinary and fire every time you want to feel emunah weinberg she's the rebbe and the week before mariana rivera and non-jew can't say one sentence without talking about the role of god in his life and yoshi mendelovich the russian refusent who describes his hunger strike for 54 days 56 days in a siberian prison why because he was trying to get his sitter back because he desperately wanted to talk to god i've said before you want to feel emunah you struggle if you struggle to feel attached to feel connected then piggyback on those who are listen to those who feel connected and sharing their story it will inspire you read a biography or hear an interview whether ours or some other and listen to people who are not el but odd they're not too god they're on to god they are connected with god they are living with emunah each and every day and when we struggle we stumble when we're unsure when we have uncertainty or in doubt we can listen to those interviews or read those biographies or find those survivors in our community or those extraordinary people who have overcome against all odds terrible terrible circumstances and listen and grow in that amuna so i wanted to just share that insider of salvation vishafta we can come back no matter how far you've strayed no matter how distance you feel from the almighty maybe you're disappointed from him maybe you're hurt by him maybe you feel abandoned by him maybe just you've given into the temptations of this world you've been distracted and you haven't been paying attention to him no matter how far we've strayed no matter how much distance daylight there is between us we can always come back vishafta return come home not el don't go to god go on on to god submit and surrender connect and confide collapse and be supported by hashem not el we have the ability to vishafta we could return we could repair we could renew we can restore our device we can restore our neshama to its factory setting to the purity of the way we were put in this world and connect with him anew from the beginning from the start and when we struggle when we feel that we're far away our distance the shaft and we're trying to come back and we're struggling to feel odd because all we feel is l we're trying to head in that direction but we don't really feel odd we're struggling to submit and surrender then listen or read or watch or connect with someone who has that relationship and it will be contagious to you as well okay we continue in by um morgenstern we're still in paraguay's kenyan habito we're starting peric bays today we've been talking all about bittel for weeks and for months the notion of submission and surrender the idea of nullifying our sense of self that yes we can enjoy the pleasure of this world and yes though we're here hashem we're getting high on god we're getting high on his torah we're enjoying the pleasure and the beauty of his world but not to serve ourselves we are of service to him he doesn't work for us we work for him bittle we nullify we relinquish and we realize we are agents we are ambassadors that just like an ambassador appointed to another country serves at the pleasure of the president of the prime minister so to we serve at the pleasure of the almighty we are his ambassador we are his agent we are here to make his difference as me this the core of the path of how we can acquire that quality so we've been learning about it in theory academically how do we put it into practice the key and the core says richard meyer is his boneness which loosely translates as contemplativeness to be contemplative you know sometimes where we're walking through life and we're being carried by momentum we're asleep even while we are awake we get to the end of the day and we don't remember living one moment of it that's the role of the chauffeur putting out a new video please guide soon called behind the mitzvah about chauffeur chauffeur is an alarm clock the rama describes it as an alarm it's waking us from our slumber and our sleep we are sleep walking through life we're eating by rote and by habit and our time and punctuality is root in habit and our relationships patience or lack thereof or wrote in habit how do we wake up how do we jar and stir ourselves how do we snap out of sleepwalking through life to wake up the answer is his bone in us it's contemplativeness it's being thoughtful it's stopping to shut down the noise and to be able to think to be able to hear our own heartbeat to hear god's playlist that's playing all around us taina turkey you have to contemplate the existence of god his oneness his uniqueness his distinctiveness that that knowledge has such clarity until it enters that we feel it in our heart vitas so in our heart it's like it's like a spark of fire it enters into our fire into our heart on fire so if we're not thoughtful if we're not invested it won't happen same is true in our marriages do we think about a gift do we think about sending a text message with a bid for connection do we stop and think and say thank you to our spouse for what they do and what they bring to our family are we thoughtful about how we're going to celebrate our anniversary or what we'll do on a date night when we're trying to reconnect only if we stop and we pause and we think and we contemplate the investment we're making in that relationship will it thrive will it flourish because if we can in our in our head in our mind in our intellect if we cognitively know that there is no one ain't no vado there is no one and there is nothing but god this whole world is a matrix as an illusion it all is in his imagination there is nothing but him so if we just continue to keep coming back anode milvado ain't no no our pressure our blood pressure is going up our heartbeat is increasing our sweat glands are pumping we're running late the red light will we make the flight what will be what will work how will it happen we have to feel that ms we have to know that truth and what is that truth that truth is in ode milvado there is no one there is nothing but him and whatever will be will be mammalia is by telling and therefore to be able to submit and surrender to nullify ourselves to him ain't owed milwaukee never panic and never fear and never worry it's my article this week don't worry be happy the article i uh put up this week is that um a great quote where's this quote a great quote by mark twain mark twain said i had a lot of worries in my life most of which never happened i had a lot of worries in my life most of which never happened and studies show that 85 of the things that we worry about never happen and the 15 that do our worry didn't make it any better so what are we worrying for why are we worried why are we worried anode milvado there is no one there is nothing but him so we have to dig deep we have to find the fortitude to overcome whatever we need to whatever is in our way but in the end of the day ain't no vettel ain't nobody whatever's happening here is the principle says we have to work the brain we have to work the mind we have to remember and be mindful over and over and over again and then it will seep down gravity will bring it from our head to our heart it can't just remain in our head we have to plug it into our heart it has to go from our head to our heart so it's not going to be born in our heart if we don't start with it in our head so we have to allocate the time we have to be thoughtful we have to remember and be mindful enormous there's no one but him there is a god he is a creator he's involved in my life why am i panicked why am i worried why am i anxious why am i envious why am i arrogant there is a hashem stop his bone in us stop and contemplate what's happening right now how am i meant to feel will worrying make it any better how can i submit and surrender to him and what do i now need to do what do i need to do now what do i need to do now ain't no vado his bonus contemplate and when i think that and i think that may think that it will make its way to my heart and then i will feel that it'll be a genuine authentic a very real and palpable feeling i won't just be telling myself let go and let god i will be feeling a sense of submission i'll have no worry i'll have no fear because i will recognize that it's all him the top model is and it's good to when you're setting aside that time to be contemplative maybe it's before davening during dominating after davoning maybe while riding on the car or going for a walk whatever time we set aside not for his buddhidus not for that private conversation with god but his bone and nus they're different his body this is when i am alone in conversation with god not just david in the words of the sitter but in between those sentences the words i add his bodhidus when i'm alone genuinely talking to god unloading unburdening turning to and talking to hashem casually like not like he is my best friend he is right there and accessible i'm talking to god that's his beau de dus his bone in nurse is contemplativeness it's being thoughtful being mindful it's thinking it's setting aside time to think when i went to kellogg school of management for a summer we were addressed by the ceo of baxter which is a company that has thousands tens of thousands maybe hundreds of thousands of employees around the world and he described to us that on a schedule every day was time in which he left his office left his phone behind instructed a secretary he was unreachable and he would go for a walk or sit in his car and that time was designated for thinking it was on a schedule on his calendar designated time for thinking how many of us have that our schedule is full that was last week's article what is our schedule tell us about our priorities because if we don't schedule our priorities then if we don't prioritize our schedule schedule our priorities they'll never happen so do we put on our schedule thinking just thinking there's always noise there's always background there's always something playing there's always a conversation there's always something stimulating or happening but what about just being what about thinking because we need to set aside time or it won't happen to think to think about hashem to think about that relationship to think about who he is and where he is in our relationship with him and so on the top model is boning so it's good when setting aside that time and going through that journey and that process of thinking to do it in the order that we've spoken about madrigal madriga so we spoke about the first level was the first level of bitter was a bittle of a bittle of kabbalah a bittle of that i work for him he doesn't work for me that he is in charge i'm not in charge and go from level to level then to level two level three level four uh and with each level stop and think and stew and marinate and let that thought enter you lakshaba just remaining sitting and thinking achiyagashi miralo until it turns on the light until the bulb goes off and it doesn't remain a thought that's esoteric and academic that's in the head or the brain alone but to the thought has a life of its own so the thought filters down till the thought illuminates till the thought makes you alive until you don't only think it but until you feel it possess the drone and this is the order it begins the first thought to have to sit to stew to marinate while driving while walking to just think is that god is the creator of the universe who bailed out love he's in charge he owns it he's in control he's the king that's what we're going to be doing next week coronating god at his inauguration coronation ceremony we're going to be hashem god says recite mathias before me so i can be your king. he is the king he is the ruler he is in charge of everything everyone and everything that is created has to do his will the ashrams submit surrender he is the king i work for him he doesn't work for me he i'm carnating he's the king of kings he's in charge he's in control the acaba libo and let that thought come down to our hearts when there's a conflict of tension between what i want and what he wants my value and his value my lifestyle and what he wants my lifestyle to be that he's in charge when he says jump i say how high i submit and i surrender words i keep repeating to him that is the very first level of bitter bittle is just to think if i want to feel it and i want to engage it if when i'm running late when the flight is delayed when i'm waiting to get back a lab report potential test with bad news when i'm struggling a relationship in my life when i have friction with my finances and i want to get through it i need to feel in my heart intuitively instinctively i need to react immediately and say i'm not panicking it's not a sense of urgency hashem's in charge he's got this he's in control i'm along for the ride i'm gonna take my initiative i'm gonna do my effort i'm gonna express my best self but then i'm gonna wait to see what happens so how do we get to that point that i instinctively intuitively react that way how do we get to the point that i don't even think about panicking but immediately i'm entirely dependent reliant on hashem begins with his boneness contemplativeness thoughtfulness thinking and what's the first thought the very first thought is that i work for him because the very first thought is that he's in charge he's in control he's the bilim he's the balabayas and i work for him the second thought is that i love him because you don't always love your boss you just have to know the pecking order you have to know that you report to him you have to know the chain of command but you don't have to love him or her but when it comes to god it's not just that he's the boss he's in the charge we work for him it's that we love him and we have all of him and we admire him viagra is bargaining a king is distant a king is inaccessible king is far away king is ruling but is omnipresent he's everywhere and we love him he's lovingly next to us he's lovingly also waiting for the lab report he's in the waiting room of the doctor's office he's lovingly scrambling to make the flight he's lovingly breaking through in the relationship actually until we can feel the fire of love the fire of awe and the fire of attaching ourselves to god to god and then what comes next so first i realize he's in charge he's in control he's the bellabias then i feel that not only is he in charge but i love him i've come to know him to love him and then the third thing is that he is the one who is making me be alive he is born his greatness how he is how he is omnipotent and infinite entirely in control until i realize i'm nothing compared to him i barely exist i don't exist i don't have my own name i'm not really making my own choices that really hashem is in charge he is in control i am his agent i am his ambassador i only serve at his pleasure and then the fourth thought when i'm sitting and thinking when i'm making that time to be contemplative when i'm losing my thought itself in those thoughts which hopefully will filter down to my feelings the fourth and final one is feel it everywhere see it everywhere and every leaf and every plant and every chair and every table and every person every experience hashem is absolutely everywhere he is everywhere we're going to say at the end of davoning kippur you are before creation you are after creation all around us it looks like they're people it seems like they're things it sounds like there are events nature history happenings it's all him ain't odd milvado everywhere we look and everywhere we turn it is all him that is the fourth level of thought so there's a curriculum there's a thought formula to sit and to think and to examine and to reflect and to talk to a friend a family member talk out these these ideas the more we think about them the more we talk about them the more real they are and the more they will remain not only in our head the more they will come down to our heart and they will help mold us not only into people who intellectually know this hashem but people who live with hashem people who rely on hashem to not only turn to hashem el but to return unto hashem to be able to know that he's there we rely on to turn to him as he guides us and as he takes us through life so join us nine o'clock tonight behind the bmw sandberg hear the rest of her answer of how she how faith got her through that loss what does it mean that she didn't really believe in god before she lost her husband but she found him after join us at nine o'clock tonight until next time until we take up living with a moon and next year tough shin pay bays stay happy stay healthy and stay holy