Living With Emunah (Part 233) - MicroMitzvahs and MicroSuccesses

welcome back to living with emunah i want to thank our generous sponsors this series for the year dr xavier bella morgan in memory of the great rabbi dr brian gabban's from the rockefeller dr ellen chancellor owens mother as well big thank you to them this morning's show is also sponsored by aviva and david janis and under the daughter may rav janus having completed the municipal series and spent the last 231 days listening to a shirt every day wow wow you get more than a sponsorship i don't know what award may rav janus we've got to send her something that's amazing 231 days in a row of having to listen to my voice that's a lot of sleep and by dana golani commemoration of her husband zyrte bharara benalyzer brad golano we knew brad well to the sharma should have analia and also dedicate this morning to the yurt site tomorrow night of my grandmother ruth above yeah my beloved bubby my grandmother after whom my daughter rachaeli is named hernandez as well we miss her also want to dedicate our learning which we are doing right now to a new campaign if you've not yet joined you can take out your phone and do it right now whether you're live or listening later vrsonline.org1n1 st moscow's daughter of our beloved rabbi inherited moscowitz uh young girl is very much in need of art filos so we are darving and doing everything that we can in her merit so we launched a campaign one-on-one a dollar a day of tstaka and a minute a day of learning the minute a day of learning you join a whatsapp group where sixty second of our torah is posted all of us have a dollar a day to give and all of us have 60 seconds a minute a day to give and if we all do that one and one in her merit please god we can make a big difference for her and all those who are ill so one-on-one campaign dollar day a minute a day of learning many have already joined but we need more go to brsonline.org the number one a-n-d one brsonline.org one and one you can join both of these efforts we are not recipients of the money it goes to an amazing program daily giving a beautiful beautiful program of giving out stuck up okay we are in beyond mayor ravitcha meyer morgenstern we have been learning about simcha and the themes that we've been speaking about are a little bit repetitive there are those feedback i get some emails they say rabbi i really enjoy the ammunition even though basically you say the same thing every week which is i the message is coming across i got it loud and clear i got it loud and clear it's okay it's okay but the themes of a moon and be talking in vegas uh number one they are repetitive redundant themes number two when you get it down and you're perfect then don't bother listening until then until then every one of us need you know what else is repetitive and redundant every year you hear partially and you're the megillah there's a lot of repetitive redundant things to try to drill it home until it gets into our thick skull we keep coming back and we keep listening but anyway i don't take it personally at all so not at all so i'm learning about simcha about joy about happiness and the secrets to happiness happiness is attaching ourselves and connecting with the source of wholeness completeness the source of unhappiness the source of sadness the source of feeling down we're not talking clinically we're not talking that needs an intervention that needs a therapy that needs medicine that is significant one needs to go to a doctor the amount of shear is not a treatment for clinical depression we say that all the time but we mean the general sadness that can overcome a person a person feels down a person feels sad a person feels out of it where does that come from it comes from feeling incomplete it comes from feeling there's more we want comes from feeling we are a failure it comes from feeling there's something we don't have it comes from feeling that we have not met our goals and therefore by definition we all wake up we are incomplete there are always things we don't have and we're not capable of being in control of so how do we find sincha in a world in which we are by definition incomplete by attaching ourselves to the one who is complete and the only shalem in this world is the ribonus hashem is the creator he created he is in charge of all he is the source of all he is holy is complete he is infallibly he's omnipotent he is infinite and the more we connect and attach ourselves to him we ride his coattails then the more complete we feel he completes us he complements us he enables us to feel whole and to feel and to feel complete so we've been discussing the um the kryptonite what are the things that bring us down what are the things that make us struggle what are the impediments and obstacles to living with that simcha because again to repeat simcha is the driver and the source of all success in life your marriage your shallow bias you're parenting you're raising children who are healthy and functional and well and ambitious and driven and jewishly proud career professionally avodah hashem in davening health and wellness and eating and exercise every single area of our life the biggest driver that will determine success is our attitude are we happy are we joyful do we have a simcha again among the list of of questions i've never asked i'm asked a lot that i'd rather not be asked but among the ones i've never asked does he or she have simcha they say what medicine is in their medicine cabinet you know whatever other kinds of absurd questions but do they have a simcha are they joyful are they generally a happy person they don't ask that i'm still i'm one day i'm going to put out my list of questions that should be asked working backwards after years of doing marriage counseling always referring to a actual therapist but complementing it with with some counseling and the things that marriages fall apart over are never the things that get asked in the shed of question inquisition the things that marriages do fall apart over are often never asked are they a mavatar is this an individual who always needs it to go their way or are they able to be flexible are they are they able to compromise are they able to make someone else happy do they have a simcha are they generally happy do they have a good attitude a good demeanor a good disposition do they smile are they positive they have a positive outlook on life those are these are the top questions because that's what marriage will be made of not what did the mother-in-law wear when she takes the garbage out or is there plastic over the tablecloth or i'm exaggerating these are some of the extreme questions but that's not one that will not determine the happiness in marriage are you have a koacham avatar vatranas are you somebody who can forego are you someone who's flexible are you somebody who's easy do you have a happiness a joy for life right these are the things that will determine the happiness and the success of marriage but they also determine the success of everything a joy for life a general positivity there are people who are miserable and angry and upset and sad and depressed and jealous that's all before they woke up in the morning before they open their eyes they already have all those feelings that is the default of their day it's a bad day why i'll find out i don't know yet but it's a bad day how do you know cause it always is and it will be and this will be another bad day and i'll have another reason to feel i'm a victim and i'm a martyr and the world has mistreated me and i'm miserable and i'm difficult and nobody wants to be around me why what happened nothing yet but the day just started give it some time give it some time so that person pushes away success in every area what kind of marriage what kind of children what kind of career what kind of friendships what kind of davening what kind of health and wellness that's why we're learning about this because that's what jeremiah told us morgan so what richard myers taught us is that the driver the foundation underneath every form of success in every area and arena of life is this are we happy are we happy are we happy it's a big big question are you happy yeah are you happy now you'll say i would be happy if i had her husband i'd be happy if i had his money i'd be happy if i had those children i'd be happy if i had those looks or that athletic ability or that artistic ability or that charisma if i had that house if i had that car if i had that health i'd be happy but how could i be happy so the answer is that happiness is not an emotion it's a decision when we focus on what we have not what's missing we focus on what's there not what we're waiting for happiness is a choice that we make it is a decision in the way we start our day so what are the impediments and obstacles again all this is redundant save your emails we're just repeating but we need to it needs to seep in it needs to seep in so one of the biggest obstacles we spent a lot of time on until now we'll pick it up from here one of the biggest obstacles is that we um we don't find success the yetzahara gets us the moment we're determined and we say i'm going to work on this and then we don't meet our goal and we don't complete our ambition then the atari says you see you're a failure you see you're nothing you see last week i don't know why you remember i said you say i want to lose 20 pounds you only lost 17. so what does the eights are do it says you might as well have the potato chips because you're a loser you didn't lose 20 pounds when really what you should say to yourself is i'm going to celebrate every pound i lost 17 pounds that's 17 celebrations not with cake but that celebration 17 celebrations every pound i lost that's a simcha every pound i lost ah what a simha mazeltov but the atahara says not the 17 you lost the three you came up short so you might as well quit you might as well stop and i got an email from someone who says are you are you looking at my scale how did you know someone says they're trying to lose 20 pounds they were at 17. that day 20 where those numbers came from amazing everything is from hashem so the eight sorrow works without a big impediment so we talked about last week having to celebrate small successes each pound you lose feel pride and joy and that will propel us forward rather than feel i'm a failure and then we fall off the wagon smell it celebrate the small successes so then i got an email from one of our listeners that i want to share with you i was listening to administer having dreams but making them realistic and doable our dear friends and neighbors rob and sue kolta are commemorating the earth site today of their beautiful son azi who died in me rome last week was the first eurotite of the 45 victims of the tragedy tragedy in mayron i sat with sue that faithful friday when people were still looking for a sudden the realization was setting in that things did not look good at some point she commented i commented that she was very composed she said we're doing everything we can the rest is up to hashem during shiva soo told endless beautiful stories about aziz amazing midos his diligence into her studies natural information to do the right thing she encouraged people to take on something small not just for aziz and shama for all the 45 and for amistral we can't let it be another tragedy and move on if everyone who comes to this house this week and everyone who comes to every one of the 45 houses takes on one very small thing to improve imagine what change we can make we can bring the goola they made this their mission they actually started a website and they coined the phrase micro mitzvah that's the website micro mitzvah.org micromixes are small things you commit to working on they spent the last year trying to spread the message you can read all about it on their site aussie foundation or micromitzvah.org to spread the message thanks again for the constant inspiration and the immunotherapy so important uh appreciate the the boost so micro mixes and if you go to that website you will see first of all there's a tracker of how many people have reported their micro mitzvahs 134 communities in seven countries 15 437 people have reported the micro mitzvah that they took on so first of all how inspiring how extraordinary how remarkable the parents who suffered a horrific and terrible and tragic loss of a young child abruptly unexpectedly tragically who simply went to climb the mountain of shimon bar and never came home they channeled that pain into promoting mitzvos but the whole thesis is micro mitzvahs don't say i'm never speaking last night again don't say i'm finishing all of shots tomorrow don't say i'll never ever come late to shul again i'll never not pay attention in the entire shimone sra micro mitzvah a micro mitzvah micro mitzvah that's caffeinate with kavanagh micro mitzvah micro mitzvah right first baroque of the day not a hundred broncos of the day not even ten broncos of the day first baraka of the day micro mitzvah it's very very beautiful you could register you could go on you could be inspired but it's exactly i'm grateful for this email it is exactly what we're talking about celebrate the small success don't bite off more than you can chew micro mitzvahs little micro successes micro actions micro celebrations micro moments because all of that will bring a simple sahaya all that brings on a joy and a zest for life and propels us to want to achieve more and more and more success we're on page kuffman 156. continuing along this theme the impediments of the obstacles the things that rob us of our happiness and of our joy again this one is a feeling of failure i lost 17 pounds not 20. that's amazing you lost 17 pounds you know i i learned all of this i didn't get to the end but i almost that's amazing it's amazing i had kavanaugh for one brochure not the other eighteen okay that's great build on it rotate which mits which bracha life everyone see where we are everyone agreed that's what we're up to i think this is what we're up to where do you think we're up to oh you're right turn the page off correct near los angeles so what's the answer when you feel like you're a failure i'll put it even further what happens when you are a failure what happens when you fail miserably when you flop when you fall flat on your face and every other word that starts with the letter f and what happens when you fail when you flop what happens how can you not feel how can you feel somehow where's the positivity where's the focus where's the micro success where's the joy you said you were gonna lose weight and you're heavier than you were said you were gonna exercise and you haven't moved in iota you said you were gonna learn and you fell off the wagon what happened you were gonna count the days how many days in a row you can go without complaining and the answer was negative one how many days in a row you could go without getting angry losing your cool responding with anger the answer was negative 5. you're a failure you flop what do you do it's a horizontal and it senses ooh they went to the moon shear they're celebrating the micro successes the micro mitzvahs so it'sahara comes in and says micro ah garnished round down your little micro is a nothing is it gornish you lost .0001 ounce it's nothing you're nothing it's a nothing you're a failure you always set out with these big dreams you always make these proclamations you always have these big decisions of what you're going to do and you know what you are a complete failure vinidama kilo enemas and you feel like in life i'm stuck i'm stagnant i haven't made any progress i haven't advanced at all i'm just the same person the same year the same life over and over again we spoke last week about jakov kaminetsky that sits us the eletov at three at 13 at the choppa which is can't advance the answer is we've got to change our frame of mind you got to change your attitude you know einstein's definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result einstein's definition of insanity it is insane when you do the same thing over and over but you expect a different result it is insane so you interact with that person who always elicits certain feelings from you and instead of deciding and determining you know what i can't control them but i can control how they make me feel so i'm going into that shabbos or that yanta in that meeting or that conversation with that person or with those people i am determined to deal with it differently i can't control them i can control how they make me feel because instead if every time i go and i expect them to be people who they're not that's the definition of insanity it's insanity if i try that diet or that exercise regimen and i haven't changed anything and every time i fail then it's the definition of insanity so what's the ether what's the advice how do we overcome and break out of that cycle of insanity how do we change things up in our attitude and our perspective and our approach so we could finally achieve our goals and we can live with the self-esteem and we can measure and see and chart the progress that we're making the answer is ava yera udvekus loving hashem feeling an awe a presence of hashem and vegas attaching and clinging to hashem what does hashem have to do with my scale what does hashem have to do with my anger my rage what does hashem have to do with my peloton which is a great place to hang clothing what does hashem have to do what does hashem have to do with it what do you mean if i love hashem what does he have to do with it because when you really attach yourself and you feel the presence of hashem in your life when you love him and when you feel awe of him that this whole world is him and when you cling and attach ourselves to him our fate is connected to him we glue ourselves to him then we realize there's no room for sadness there's no room for yaish for hopelessness or despondency literally means a weakening of the mind don't give up don't despair don't become hopeless don't feel helpless but realize he's there he's the greatest trainer he's the greatest nutritionist he's the greatest coach he's the greatest manager so as long as we attach ourselves to him we have a tomorrow we have hope we have promise our best is yet to come. every time a jew sees that i have hopelessness and despair that i become weak in my determination and my will yea that shoots our leak on the antidote and the answer when you say i'm done i'm done with the dieting i'm done with the gym i'm done with the working on my rage and my jealousy or my complaining the answer is you're not done you got to listen to the amunish year 100 231 days in a row you got to listen to you got to read you got to learn you got to listen you got to live with amuna and to vegas why why is that the antidote why does that help the yoser omeki kane's tamid lebito the reason that that helps is the following if a person really lives with a consciousness and a mindfulness that the world doesn't begin and end with me that i'm not the end-all and be-all that the world does not revolve around me then neither am i in control of everything that i could take pride nor am i responsible everything that i could take blame nor should i be jealous or envious of what others have because everything is for a reason and he's in control bitter what is the word bitter we discussed this at length we've studied this in the past bittel means to submit and surrender surrender there's a reason that in recovery in the 12-step program one of the steps is to submit to a higher power surrender let go let god every one of us is in the program just many of us don't know it every one of us has an addiction just some of them society puts a stigma on and others are sold in bulk at costco i'm saying if you can't help but go to town center mall you're addicted to shopping it's an addiction if you don't have boundaries between work and life and you're working beyond those boundaries you're addicted to work i'll tell you a little secret you can even be you can't this may not be the worst addiction but you could be addicted to exercise everything is subject to being an addiction when you act compulsively when you're drawn compulsively to do something that goes against what you claim you want to or believe you should be doing that's the definition of an addiction so some society puts a stigma on but we're all struggling and what's the answer what's the way out for all of us some by the way are addicted to rage to outrage it's a whole separate topic i'm going to write an article about it one day ours is a generation of outrage we are addicted to outrage everyone's competing who could be more outraged who could have more outrage over everything going on in the world some things what happened yesterday in texas deserves our outrage whatever side you're on whatever little letter is next to your name and how you vote there are common sense things that we can all agree have to be done there are things worthy of our outrage but we can't be addicted to outrage outrage can't be how you wake up in the morning i'm outraged about what i don't know yet i'm going to find out turn on my email i'm going to turn on the tv i'm going to follow what's going on i'm going to find what i should be outraged about today everything is an addiction whatever addiction people are addicted to complaining addicted to jealousy addicted to sadness they're addicted to beating themselves up so what's the answer to all them bittel bitter long before there were 12 steps long before there were meetings there was torah and torah told us long ago that the answer the secret in life is to submit and to surrender you are the higher power i submit and i surrender to you i'm going to work and toil as if it's all up to me but in the end of the day i submit and surrender knowing it's all up to you when i work i do like it's all up to me but at the end i let go and i let god not like but because it is all up to you hashem i'm the passenger you're the driver i drive all day long i think i'm in charge i'm in control i work i advance i take initiative but at the end of the day i realize that you know i'm just holding the pretend wheel you know you're the you're the one with the real wheel yeah i think i'm turning this wheel all day long my wheels pretend it's not actually attached to anything i have to work on my wheel for things to come but if i really look under the hood my wheel is not even connected to anything it's your wheel that's really driving us where we're going you're in charge you're in control i submit i surrender now this is big listen carefully so you know what that means then you're able to say i didn't fulfill my goal i didn't reach my resolution i didn't accomplish what i set out to do what i promised what i declared what i stated would be done so do i beat myself up am i garnished into nothing am i an ice bar for a failure do i enter a state of sadness and depression do i not bother trying anymore because i'm so incapable and pathetic that's not what he believes you know what we believe hashem i'm going to sit and study i'm going to understand where i went wrong but you know what i wasn't meant to succeed because you're in charge and you're in control and if i was i would have and if i didn't it's because it wasn't meant to be so i am submitting and i am surrendering to you help me understand why why did you why was it not meant to be this time and what am i meant to do now to not become debilitated and paralyzed and depressed and sad and robbed and depleted of our simca because we hit a roadblock because we hit a wall but instead when we hit that wall to say hashem put this wall in my path bittel it's here billam's donkey the angel we all see the commentaries they say we're not up to that parsha yet but billam's donkey stops because hashem sometimes puts an angel in our path and says this isn't the direction you're meant to go we don't necessarily understand why but that's how we're meant to interpret all that happens in our life keep fighting keep trying to make progress we spoke last shabbos say that we don't count down towards harshinai we count up when you count down you're trying to be done to be finished to move on to find relief so we don't say 49 days 48 days 47 days all of our kids are now saying that about school how many days left to school we count down how many days left till our vacation we count down how many days left that we're in jail we count down hopefully we don't know that feeling but one counts down and yet so omar we count up and the reason is because we're moving up we're going up moving on up we are always trying to move on up we're trying to elevate a policewoman her advice at every crossroads at every intersection every time you have a decision to make choose the path that will lead you higher choose the path that will lead you higher that is our mission so that's our job but what happens when it doesn't work what happens when we hit that wall that's where bitl comes in if you don't believe in god and all you believe in the only altar you worship at is yourself so then when you fail you'll feel like a failure but if you believe in god if you practice ava year in vegas if you say hashem i love you and i know you love me and i'm in awe of you because you fill the whole universe you're in charge you're in control and there is nothing but you and i feel vacant i cling i attach myself to you that my whole destiny is intertwined with you if i live with avenir and vegas then even when i fail i say this too is meant to be from you i don't feel like a failure i had a failure and now i need to figure out what's next if there's no god you could feel like a failure but if you believe that everything is by design it's what's meant to be then you never feel like a failure you just know that you failed and just like a success is from hashem thank you for it so to the failure is from hashem it's what's meant to be many people mistakenly think that it's actually a religious activity to sit and evaluate and when we find we failed to then be sad and beat ourselves up they think that that's actually righteousness and virtue and that's religiously superior is to say what's wrong what happened why are you so sad today i didn't have kavanaugh that's right that's not religion that's not virtuous it's not what hashem wants for someone to see you and say why are you so sad today because i missed the daffy on me because i i skipped out on the living with ammunition i'm a failure i'm a nothing i couldn't organize my day i couldn't get it together i didn't make it i'm a failure because i only watched online and didn't get it together to come in person so i'm a failure you are a failure but i'm a failure that's not what hashem wants hashem wants to say you know what i failed he's not to blame i'm to blame i need to learn from it but this is his world if i failed it's not by accident i am submitting to you i'm going to learn from it and i'm going to figure out what's next a jew lives with what's next got to get back to our notebooks got to print them already we're designing them turn the page a jew turns the page those notebooks in the top living with them when i turn the page turn the page okay good yesterday was a fail good i have a page for it i don't pretend it didn't happen it's a page in my notebook and today's page is going to include a aspiration how to learn from yesterday's failure so it doesn't happen again but i have to be able to turn the page what am i going to walk around like a sad miserable fabisna because i failed yesterday turn the page it's a new day where's your joy for life where's your bittle where is submitting and surrendering to hashem that for whatever reason that was meant to be said it hurts i'm disappointed what's next what's next what's in store for me today what do i need to accomplish today how do i get to the end of today what's on my list today and whatever i'm doing today i do with a simcha i do with a joyful life with happiness because i know one thing if you approach the new day filled with opportunity pregnant with possibility and if you approach it with sadness and hopelessness and victimhood then you are you are creating a self-fulfilled prophecy of failure but if you approach the new day with a joy and a positivity and a hope and an optimism and a simple it's a great day such a good feeling to know you're alive mr rogers channel your inner mr rogers you don't have to wear the sweater vest or whatever you don't have to wear the cardigan but channel your your enter mr rogers it's a good feeling to know you're alive wake up with it sahabah of the hashem many of the hashem ravichamya here is describing many people who spend all their time dedicated to hashem somebody who learned and muslims and they think that you know what muslim means you walk around like this i am a failure i'm a nothing i'm a nobody i'm a gurnish they think that's what muslims meanwhile revolba who was the great mashiach of the last generation who was the ambassador of the muslim movement of the last generation his grandson lives in our community it's evolved he told me that his grandfather was the happiest person he ever knew that revolba had a smile and a joy and a zest for life and the shabbos table was filled not with complicated div torah not with competing to quote sources it was filled with zemiros and stories and jokes that revolver had a simcha and a joy and a positive spirit simulcast to be a real evident hashem to be a real student of muslim it's not to walk around but nothing i'm a nobody i'm so sad i'm such a failure i'm nothing just to walk around i succeeded i did a micro mitzvah and even when i didn't guess what that was yesterday or that was a moment to go you're also allowed to turn the page in the middle of the day it doesn't have to be only a new day he could even turn the page at the end of the day turn the page whenever we want and become determined meaning if we look and evaluate where we really are every one of us is a reason to be sad every one of us is a reason to be sad it happens to be very hard to have cavanaugh for a hundred blocks a day happens to be very hard to have kavanaugh for ten bucks a day happens to be very hard to never get angry or jealous or arrogant happens to be very hard to never lose your cool or raise your voice or complain we're all imperfect that's the way god made us so if we're always focused on our imperfection and our failure we're going to kill every day about kasha yehudi zoho when a jew merits when a jew rises to the level when a jew practices bitter when we submit and when we surrender and when we say hashem i'm going to work and i'm going to try i'm going to take responsibility and accountability but in the end of the day you're in charge you're in control you're the one who determines the way it's meant to be um and therefore you see the light of hashem shining in everything you see the presence of hashem not only in every success there is a presence of hashem in every failure hashem you're so big you're so great you're so broad you're so ever present i'm your vessel i am a vessel to reveal your light so i try sometimes i reveal your light through success and sometimes your light shines even in the failure and i turn the page and what do i learn from it how am i not brought down by it and maybe that's my test or challenge today we all have nissionas we have tests and challenges we have who were meant to be that day what is my mission what is my mandate who am i meant to be and maybe today is to not be brought down by that failure to not become debilitated or paralyzed to not give up hope to not become helpless ain sham yesh ba olam klau binnachman would scream out there is no yay ish in this world you can't give up en yesh khlo don't become hopeless don't despair don't focus on your failure don't give up why not and how not only by attaching to hashem when you believe the world is filled with randomness and chance when it's meaningless and has no purpose when there is no after light and there is no future when you're just a victim of statistics and data and randomness that's pretty depressing thought i agree there's a lot of reasons to be sad and depressed and hopeless but if you submit and surrender and you believe there's a cause there's a source there's hashem in charge and control he also by the way happens to be our father and he loves us and he feels affection towards us and he wants only the best for us so then you could live your life and say that even my failure is a step towards success to learn from it and to have that positive attitude towards it who was it edison who decided who designed the light bulb i must have told you this quote before i'm just i'm a recycling machine there is no environmentalist greater than me so edison when asked how did it feel he tried hundreds of times before he broke through and invented the light bulb and they asked him how did it feel to fail so many times he said fail i never failed once i succeeded it was a process that had hundreds of steps to it i never failed once that's the book fail forward you could fail backwards or you could fail forwards it's our decision you fail backwards you become sad and hopeless if you fail forwards then it becomes a stepping stone for growth and progress and towards joy and simha i failed awesome i can't wait to learn from it i can't wait to improve upon it i can't wait to go up and higher from here can't wait to try to understand why let's just finish this section um in other words if you practice bittel if you properly nullify yourself to him then you never feel like either a success or a failure you just do your job and the outcome is up to him every day you do your best not every day's best will look the same someday our best could have been better but we learned we are the vessel the prison through which hashem shines in this world we are to bring his light to this world and we do it in the way that he wants sometimes it's a bright clear beautiful day and the sunlight is refracted with no obstacle and other times it's cloudy and it's overcast and it's miserable there are cities and states and countries where it's like that most of the year and choosing to to have it be blocked and the same is true with us as his vessel and we also have to evaluate you can't live carefree says richard meyer well if it's all from hashem and everything is by design then i'm never going to think about what went right and what went wrong i'm never going to evaluate or reflect or introspect i'm just going to grip it and rip it in life that's also wrong you need [Music] the way to prevent ever falling the way to prevent ever falling to a place of sadness we're not talking about the grief of loss god forbid of a person's house burns down they lose a loved one of course that warrants sadness and grief and mourning of course nobody says the ovel should have a similar spoken about that many times too but we're talking about generally in life what is the default what is the disposition who are we how do we wake up in the morning micro mitzvahs micro successes join us tonight at 9pm we're going behind the bema with our by mark wildes the founder of manhattan jewish experience mje state of outreach in america today do we have a future is it do we have hope it's at 9 00 pm tonight until next time with great simcha sachin with great joy for life stay happy stay healthy and stay holy