Living With Emunah (Part 238) - Micro-Moments of Joy

good morning welcome back to living with emun our weekly study our weekly effort our weekly reminder our weekly reinforcement that we are not here alone exploring and navigating this world it's not all up to us we shouldn't feel the anxiety and the pressure and the envy and the anger and the arrogance but rather we should submit and surrender recognize there is a hashem living with ammuna you're in my life i'm so grateful for all the broke on the blessings none of it is random or a chance and i turn to you and defer to you and submit to you and i protest and object but you're by my side all the time i want to thank our generous sponsors of the series for the year dr xavier bella morgan who sponsored living with the moon in memory of an amazing example of the moon rabbi dr brian galbert as well as bella's mother dr ellen thank you so much for that generosity so we have been learning morgenstern we have been focused on the media of simcha the quality of what it means to live with joy to live with simcha why is it so important why are we so focused why have we spent months on this character trait this quality of being basement of living with happiness after all of nachman of breslau says mitzvah gedola this is a great mitzvah where is that mitzvah it's an interesting question is it counted as one of the tarja can you find it inside is it one of the 613 where exactly is that mitzvah but nachman says perhaps it is the foundation is the underpinning of all mitzvos you're not happy and excited to be alive if you're not joyful and high energy then how are you going to do mitzvos how are you going to connect to hashem the people around you how are you going to grow spiritually so mitsuba there's an enormous mitzvah but it takes mindfulness and it takes intention and that's why we've been exploring how do you define simcha simba because when you feel whole how do we feel when we're incomplete by attaching and latching on to the only hole the source of wholeness namely hashem what are the obstacles and the impediments what brings us down and makes us depressed we've been studying and navigating it all and now richard meyer has been walking us through ayuday last week we left off with two important approaches two methodologies to living more to being happier and then our happiness is contagious it affects and it influences the people around us number one was the recognition that that the neshama simcha comes when we nourish on the shama when shama is dehydrated when our soul when our spirit is malnourished and dehydrated we're sad we're depressed we're despondent we're low energy and when we nourish our soul we tap into our soul when our soul comes alive then we feel a joy and a happiness everything makes sense it all comes together we can confidently believe and know it's all for a reason and we could feel a sense of simcha and number two or maybe it should be the opposite order is mindfulness when we're present and conscientious and conscious and mindful when we're intentional with what we think what we do where we go how we behave then we could be basimha but if we allow ourselves to slip into the pattern of negativity the pattern of complaining the pattern of pessimism because we're not intentional and mindful then it's easy to lose it and that is what we are up to continues sometimes a person feels a spark of joy a spark of happiness in their inner being so a person has a beautiful shimon ashrae a person does an incredible gracious act of khasid a person has a dmc a deep meaningful conversation with someone they love they trust they know or even with the almighty himself and they spark something inside them they come alive there's something bigger something more real something most authentic something selfless that makes them come alive there's a spark a spark of joy a spark of happiness the problem is it's short-lived we have that we have it in a deep sense a meaningful sense of spiritual sense we attend the concerts we hear at jerusha we have a conversation we volunteer we do an act of hasser and we have a spark of joy maybe we take pride there's nothing wrong with having pride we helped someone we made someone feel good we feel meaning we feel alive the pride in that brings smile get into the car with a smile in our face maybe maybe we overcome an obstacle or maybe we persevered through a struggle or maybe there's a pattern of behavior we've been trying to change and we changed it and we have pride a little cracked smile in our face does it manifest itself in this overwhelming joy does it come out or express itself as this abundant simcha no we're still struggling we're still dragging but we tapped into we touched into a spark maybe it's pride maybe it's accomplishment maybe it's a spiritual something that we came alive that we achieved maybe it's a joke that we laughed at a simcha that we danced at there was something but it expresses itself not fully developed not fully within ourselves we don't have a skip in our step we're not fully alive or not fully basement there's a spark there's a little spark we laughed we allowed ourselves to laugh we allowed ourselves to be happy we allowed ourselves to take pride we allowed ourselves to have hope you have to know that the core here is the is the showrush is the root sometimes it begins with something which is hidden so before it manifests in this huge smile and its joy which is our goal and ambition but it starts with a spark it starts with a seed it starts with something small simcha mis now my friends however i have to tell you sometimes there are people who are so committed and devoted to not being happy that they extinguish that spark the moment there's a hint an allusion to happiness the moment they're tempted to crack a smile or they begin to find themselves laughing or they're filled with pride or a sense of achievement or the neshama is being nourished or hydrated they suppress it they extinguish it they silence it because they're so committed to walking around and being the miserable negative pessimistic complaining that's who they think they are who they think they're meant to be how they think they're designed that is how they think they're predisposed but we have to do the exact opposite instead of extinguishing instead of suppressing we have to expand and nurture and take that seed or that spark that little thing in our day you know the beginning of the day you all know me i harp on the morning that cup of coffee oh what a gift from hashem caffeinate with kavanagh i think we may start a website to finally send out some of our our notebook our our moda ani thank you for a new day turn the page and our caffeinate with kavanagh and some other messages that we can we can create some merch with messages that can inspire our day so caffeinate with kavanaugh that gift of a cup of coffee ah you know you could have a difficult day ahead you could be coming off of recovering from a difficult day behind you and you're not happy but you know what you take a sip of that cup of coffee you caffeinate with kavanaugh you make that bracha charcoal everything me my life my health the ambiance the environment and all that went into that cup of coffee charcoal everything niyabidova hashem thank you for that and you know what i'm going to drink that cup of coffee and i'm going to be mindful and present as i sip it i'm going to take in the aroma i'm going to let the flavor roll on my tongue and i'm going to imbibe the caffeine which will make me come awake and come alive for a moment i could say this get a cup of coffee now let's fast forward to the end of the day i hope this is not too personal but you know that feeling when you get into bed a long day you're exhausted and you collapse and you are absorbed into that mattress you feel ah thank you thank you for this day thank you for letting me get into it into bed thank you for the gift of sleep and rejuvenation so from the beginning today to the end of the day there are moments moments of happiness sparks of joy and they may not yet permeate and they may not out yet project themselves throughout the day doesn't mean that you're wide awake and fully alive and incredibly and entirely happy in basimha but there are those sparks nurture them and bottle them that living skipping your step eyes bright and wide open laughter on your lips that simcha will come later that confidence that amuna that vekas that be takon that living life with faith and therefore with joy simcha it'll manifest it'll express it'll fully develop it'll become external later but it begins with the spark and it begins with nurturing the spark and if you don't nurture the spark it cannot come alive you have to be able to recognize and depreciate and nurture that spark because if you deny and you pre and you suppress if you extinguish that spark it will never ever come out so i'll tell you there's an amazing story there was a drought i think it was in california years and years ago see if i could find this uh story and finally there was a breakthrough there was rain years after the drought and all of a sudden this incredible vegetation started to spread years and years later because why what had happened what had happened was before the drought seeds were dropped in the ground and they lay dormant and nobody saw them and nobody appreciated them here they are this is an article from a long time ago 2017 five years ago some parts of the country cold weather is threatening crops california's been unseasonably wet as five years ago deserts are experiencing what's called a super bloom after years of drought the normally arid desert is lush just looks like a sea of flowers purple red yellow and blues fantastic you don't see this very often little flowers look so delicate how did this happen how did this happen so the article describes how did it happen flowers in places they never sprouted colors growth at rates that never happened six inches of rain came in the winter here's the quote you ready some of these seeds have been underground for maybe decades if not a century or more we just don't know some of these places have not seen water in 10 15 20 years and now they're a blanket of flowers they are survivors you have to be tough in the desert that's for sure and these are the and these are an ephemeral resource so what you're looking at today could be gone tomorrow depends on how wet how we get today and how hungry the caterpillars get an amazing article so basically the idea is there are seeds there are seeds and you have to leave that seed in the ground and allow whenever that rain will come who knows what will enable and sprout and nurture that amunda to burst forth so we can feel basimra this is true within ourselves those seeds the seeds of a great drasha great amunoshie a great article a great moment a great song a great simcha you attended it plants a seed and maybe the seed doesn't yet sprout it's underground it's covered it's dehydrated it's not nourished it doesn't get the sunlight it doesn't get the rain it needs but you never know as long as you leave the seed there you never know when the rain will come and you never know when you're going to have a super bloom of simcha in life so therefore victor meyer says the shoresh the nikuda when there is that seed planted of simcha don't take it out and throw it out and don't deprive it but rather allow it to sit and even if it's dormant ultimately it will come alive when they'll and it'll produce a super bloom of simcha when it gets the rain it needs so that is first of all there's a little moments through our day and this is i can't recommend it strongly enough if you apply rev ichameyer's first suggestion if we live with mindfulness then we recognize during our day little micro moments of simha good cup of coffee a good conversation a hug the pride someone took in you the smile you put on someone's face the closing of the safer after a daphyomi a finish of an exercise the the recognition of the bracha in our life there are micro moments of simcha so i may not fully feel basically maybe we're enduring challenges or struggles or hardships in life maybe we're going through a difficult kufa difficult chapter but do not deny yourself or deprive yourself the micro moments of simcha because they plant seeds and when the time is right and ripe then when the rain of torah will come there'll be a super bloom of simcha so if we want the super bloom of simcha later we have to allow and receive and plant the seeds of simcha so take the moment with intention and mindfulness through the day and mark the micro moments of simcha the little moments you found a parking spot right where you needed to be after circling smile you laughed you heard a funny joke smile the micro moments of simbra we have to find that chorus that nikuda find that little seed in zoho and if you merit this the seed that says you know in this moment i have a premonition everything's going to be okay i feel the presence of hashem i'm willing to submit and surrender to him i tapped into something a little bit through that song through that interaction through that selfless act and induced by some substance but an inner simcha that this all makes sense there's a bigger world i'm part of something more even while this is hard or difficult or challenging a vort on the parsha a thought or an original idea i had a davening a kadusa which third the soul of a moment of hester of giving a feeling even if you still feel sad zaba sader it's okay even a very minute difficult small thought tispasche as long as there's a spark they could spread a wildfire just like a seed can turn into a super bloom so to a spark can become an engulfing all-encompassing fire keep that spark alive let the fan flame the spark it's okay you're sad you're down you're despondent it's okay it's a difficult time it's okay find the micro moments don't be the type of person who won't allow yourself there are people going through hard times i know and love them they won't allow themselves to smile they won't allow themselves to laugh they won't allow themselves a micro moment of joy we have to allow ourselves it doesn't it doesn't deny the sadness and it's not offensive it's not in denial of the person that we care about to also be able to feel a sense of simcha we need simcha to be alive we need simchat of the strength to face and overcome whatever we need to endure so even when we're not ready to yet be fully expressed in simcha even when we're not yet to fully feel a happiness we're still sad and challenged and struggling allow the micro moments allow those little sparks so don't dismiss and don't diminish when someone says didn't you laugh before and i saw that smile uh it's nothing it was a little smile i didn't mean to the love i didn't mean to it's gone it's stupid it's foolish don't diminish don't dismiss those little micro moments grab onto every seed and fan every spark because that holiness climbing that ladder fanning that flame experiencing or starting that super bloom it begins it starts with the spark it starts with the seed haplinius the inner the authentic the real the genuine then it can spread and then can express and then it can develop within ourselves so vichymar is giving us advice when your basement you got great news you celebrated you won the lottery something good happened you feel spiritually alive and nurtured so then it's easy to be basimha but what about the moments in between what about the difficult times of struggle what about when we're not feeling it how can we rise to it by finding and capturing and by nurturing and by spreading those micro moments those sparks and now we have the opposite vine the most authentic the most real simcha is the inner simha that inner spark that intercede that inner contact with the divine that's really what it is why is it when you do a moment of chessed when someone says thank you you really helped me when you put a smile on someone's face when you tapped into the bigger most meaningful most authentic part of who you are when you express that sense that we're here of service and a mission for other why is it that that brings a sense of simcha because we're tapping into eternity because we're tapping into the infinite we're tapping into the divine the divine in us in every one of us there is a peace and a spark of god in us and when we pursue the physical pleasure when we think we're going to become happy because we shop or we eat or we experiment and we think that's happiness it's fleeting it doesn't last because while there's an animal sense of self and the animal enjoys that pleasure it's a temporary temporal fleeting pleasure of the here and now the most authentic most genuine the most lasting the most permanent pleasure is when we touch and we tap into not the animal soul the nephesh but the shama the the godliness in us the divine in us when do we tap into the divine in us when we live with discipline discipline is divine when we live with devotion devotion is divine and when we live with helping other people when we're able to be selfless instead of selfish we're able to extend outside of ourselves we're able to answer to a higher power and live for something bigger than ourselves then we've tapped into the divine and someone can't help but feel a sense of simha you feel alive you feel nurtured you feel joyous but while that's the most authentic sometimes sometimes we use the external happiness and joy they live to open up the simcha of the heart so if you do the things that make you smile then you'll be happy and then you'll be able to be open to feeling to see hashem if you're able to laugh and you're able to smile we use the body sometimes as a shortcut so you use the power of music use the power of dance use the power of laughter of a joke you use the power of good food in order to be able to open the soul to feel simcha so we can distract or we can almost bribe the body which then enables the soul to flourish to fly to thrive to feel simcha this is why he doesn't reference this but the talmud often does the gemara khazal tell us when the rabbis would achieve something spiritually they would prepare an igletisa they would prepare a fine delicacy on shavuous even though other yemen told him there's a debate do we devote them do we dedicate them to hashem or to ourselves everybody agrees kuliyama modu everybody agrees that when it comes to shavuous on the day the torah was given you need at least we have to indulge ourselves why because in order for the soul to thrive we have to indulge the body so that's why we make a sim you think you finish you finish learning a piece of talmud your soul is now on fire and nourished why having food should be able to fast you should be able to live on a high of the soul what do you need to why do you need to reward the body the answer is you always see this notion of a seem whenever there's a sea and whenever there's a spiritual completion a spiritual achievement a spiritual growth you indulge the body because when the body is happy now the soul can thrive now the soul can break through when the body is happy the soul is able to express itself so sometimes it's through the sonyas and we'll pick up and continue with this next time that sometimes we have to distract the body or bribe the body or reward the body so we use the physical we use the physical through a smile or through laughter through music or through a dance same famous principle again we'll begin with this next time that it's through the external actions that we create the internal feeling it's not the opposite we don't wait for the feeling to act when we act we'll get the feeling put in yiddish with the eating comes the appetite we sometimes think wait till you're hungry then you'll eat but it turns out that when you start eating all of a sudden you find you have an appetite ahra when we take action then the heart the motivation follows so similarly when we make ourselves smile when we make ourselves laugh then we're going to feel happy we've mentioned before that the science supports this we'll pick up with this next time join us tonight four behind the bema thank you for indulging only being online we're back to in person mr show next week until next time