Living With Emunah (Part 244) - While Underground Build a Foundation

good morning bogartov welcome back to our living with the moon a very special welcome back some of you who we haven't seen in person in a long time i actually have some mixed feelings about the fact that we stream the class because i meet people all the time who say rabbi thank you so much for streaming it i stay in my pajamas i make my coffee i feel like i'm part of the class on the one hand it's wonderful that people who geographically don't live here and can't be here in person can tune in on the other hand there's nothing that can compare or compete with learning in person being together in person it is uh it is the best so it's great to see some people returning it's wonderful to be together and uh and thank you as always a big thank you to our generous series sponsors for the year doctor zavi and bella morgan in memory of dr brian galbet in memory of bella's mother dr ellen chandser this morning she was also sponsored anonymously as a thank you to brs for the class of shirum and programs that we provide so we're very grateful to that anonymous sponsor as well i want to remind you that our merch now normally merge people are trying to brand and sell things and make money we don't make any money off of it and we're not trying to promote any brand but we're trying to promote mindfulness and immuno that's the reason we have it so right after the sheer if you've not yet purchased your copy of our new notebook mod da'ani thank you hashem for a new day turn the page every page says turn the page every morning you can wake up turn the page you have a new opportunity you can buy a copy someone just bought 17 of them so if you want to buy in bulk we can make you a special price which is a really a wonderful thing we also have our caffeinate with kavanagh every morning you wake up you have your cup of coffee don't just caffeinate but caffeinate with kavanagh and the other things you can purchase them afterwards and soon you'll be able to purchase them online as well oh this morning oh i don't know why i don't have that thank you barbara lewis is a sponsor in memory of samli but a very special member pillar of our community somebody was here every night learning the daffy yomi who are really inspiring his new shamash thank you so much for that generosity that sponsorship as well so sorry i missed that i'm not sure i'm not sure why okay before we dive back into the text and pick up where we last left off i want to uh and some muzzle tubs by the way mazel tov to the luke's mazel tov some massive tubs we should have only only so i want to share with you two emails i'd love to share with you the muni stories one is authored by our sponsor by our series sponsor the morgan's jeff morgan sent this in it was uh before tish above was brian galbert's third eurotype so he said please feel free to share this during the ammunition and this is what he writes i can't believe it's been three years since brian passed away i think about brian frequently and in particular when i have a decision to make i ask myself what would brian do brian meant so much to so many people his family friends and patients broke a community of the global jewish community as you know brian went to the yale medical school this was in part due to his brilliant mcat score much higher than mine i remember brian comforting me when i didn't get into my top choice for medical school and assured me that einstein was the right place for me brian was later instrumental in my decision to become a cardiac surgeon connecting me to his uncle david i remember once visiting boca within minutes of catching up with brian he started recruiting me to move to boca telling me about all the wonderful things offering to connect me to cardiologists hospitals he loves his book community so much brian you're missed on a daily basis by so many people you're a person who emanated amunah and abbas kinam you give khizak to so many people and are fortunate enough to interact with you may your incredible absolute uniqueness have an aliyah so big thank you to jeff morgan for sharing that for his sponsorship and certainly uh we continue to draw from brian zamuna daily i also want to share an email i mentioned yesterday yesterday it was the parish class yesterday in the parish year i mentioned an incident that happened last week in our community a young boy on his bicycle was riding to school as he does every day crossing palmetto park road and a deranged person an unhealthy person who was recently released from prison attacked him pulled him off his bicycle and started to punch him and a person driving his truck who didn't recognize this young boy is not a member of our community but saw what was happening pulled over jumped out of the truck pulled the man off and until police came and this person was so deranged in such an adrenaline rush the police had to tase him in order to in order to be able to take him away so i mentioned in the partial class yesterday because i talked about what a hero this man was anonymous man and would we would we stop our car would you stop your car would you jump out and get in harm's way to help another person i came taking the contact context of the parsha we were talking about uh you know would you would you pull over if someone had a flat tire let alone if someone was beating the other person anyway by the way fast forward to this morning somebody wrote the pressure sheer called the sheriff's office to get the name of the man and contact info so that we could thank him as a community and i'm going to get in touch with the man but he also said what a kid of hashem it was the sheriff couldn't believe that the community wanted to call this man on behalf of the community to thank him for helping this young boy so hopefully we made it and we'll be able to offer our gratitude but the mother of the boy sent me the following email she said the following she said i thought i'd share this with you but you're welcome to use in the amunisher my son was punched in the head yesterday as you know by a mentally unstable criminal near ttv while riding his bike to school guy got out of jail two weeks ago for theft and robbery first thing i thought was use my amuna bank account that you taught us in the amuna class hashem has a plan and we need to have faith in him when i heard how a bystander pulled his truck up between the crazy guy chasing my son to stop him and told me saw the entire thing i felt it was his duty to help i thought hashem planted this man to assist my son or my son could have been so hurt in other words her take on it is not god how could you where were you why which i'm sure are legitimate reasonable feelings too but hashem wow if that man driving on that road one different red light or green light one moment later he left the house one and he weren't there exactly at that moment to jump out and help who knows what could have happened who knows so she's choosing to put on her ammuna glasses and goggles and look at the world that interpret it not where were you how could you why but wow god thank you that the man was driving by at that moment and it wasn't that he passed a moment earlier or he was a few minutes behind at that moment she writes then i noticed later in the day my son besides me besides being in shock from the day and his head hurting a bit he started to dial him with more passion that day and benched better no one knows why hashem does what he does for sure i think my son feels like hashem helped him and this gave him a jolt to work on getting closer to him which he needed thank you for reading this great class today this was last week she wrote it after last week so what a what a beautiful this is an incredible person an amazing family what a beautiful interpretation or attitude in in it number one and number two even um her son seeing in her son is getting closer as a result it's really a beautiful thing so those are our stories for today keep them flowing i i get the privilege of just reading them and you go oh and oh you cry i cry but they're not my stories so i depend on our listeners and those who watch and come to share your emunah stories with us okay we're on page of some of these there were handouts i guess they're all given out there are a few more if you'd like to follow inside of icha meyer morgenstern morgenstern and we are learning about the following the notion of the cycle of life ruts of ashok that we have times that we feel closer and more distant highs and lows in avodah's hashem there are times that we are on fire that we are well connected that everything makes sense that everything feels right and there are times that we feel far away and where is he and why and this isn't flowing and this isn't going well and we have all kinds of names for it we've seen rats of a show of kadamba akhor mohan de gadas mohan de katniss we have all kinds of names for it and then so the first thing we did was validate the phenomenon the reality in the bottom line is that we live with this phenomenon you're not the only one we all have it highs and lows in our voters are ship highs and lows in marriage and parenting and career and life highs and lows and diet and exercise highs and lows and learning and dominating we have highs and lows in everything life is not linear you should revolve ashore right the evidence of the of the ekg if it flatlines you're dead if it's going up and down there's highs and lows that's a sign you're alive so if it flatlined if our ekg spiritual ekg shows we're even stephen we're even killed then it means that you're spiritually dead if it goes up and down it means that we are alive we should be grateful to be alive why did hashem create the world that way we saw because we are a nivra we are the created and that creates this duality this tension on the one hand we feel we're independent we're created we exist we're someone we're something thanks god i'm here now i'm good to go move on to the next one i got this and that makes us feel far from him and distant and empty and avoid on the other hand we realize i'm a creation i'm only here because he wills it and he wants it i'm only here because he supports it and enables it and while that makes me feel close to him makes me feel his presence makes me feel in conversation with him so the high and low is not accidental and the high and low is not own something we only suffer from the highs of those on our bodies hashem is by design it's the way he created the world it is a natural result of this reality that we are a nivra that we are among those who are those who are created so we're up to anikudai 160 to the right-hand column now this is the big question how do you break out so when you're on fire and it's all flowing it's all good and well when you're feeling it when it can't get any better when you're singing and you're dancing and you're davening it's easy when it's all flowing you see his hand everywhere and everything makes sense and you're so grateful it's great life's great what happens when it's the opposite what happens when you're in it's kufa when you're in a period of your life where you say it's darkness where are you where are you talking to you it doesn't feel like you're listening it seems like you never answer what i want i'm going through emotions but they feel empty and void of meaning where are you and how do i connect that's the question that's the question how do you get out of it when we're in a small place first of all realize hashem is now interacting with me and placing me and positioning me in a place of cotness that's okay it's okay i don't measure measure myself not only should i not measure myself against others but i shouldn't measure myself against the best of myself in another time maybe last week or last month or last year maybe last decade maybe last lifetime in my year in israel i was once on fire and my whole life is trying to get back to that place so what are we going to do knock ourselves down despair despondency give up beat ourselves up feel it will never happen the first thing is to realize that if this is where i am this is how i'm feeling this is where hashem wants me to be this is what i'm meant to be i'm now coming at him from a place of katniss i'm coming at him from this narrow smaller place and smaller mindset meaning it's not we're either all in or we're all out some people live life like that extremes either all in or all out either on fire and telling everyone and isn't it amazing or i'm all out we know people like that i can think of someone specific like that they were all in they talked all the time they had no tolerance for somebody who wasn't into dominating and learning animal industries hashem everywhere and they talked about it and they demanded that and they demanded of their children and they were on fire and then they didn't feel it and now they're totally totally disconnected barely holding on to a life of observance not engaged in a life of meaning or purpose or pursuit of connecting with hashem so life is not all or nothing not either all in or all out even the moment we're feeling distant realize it's not over i'm not out this is where i'm meant to be i'm meant to be in a place of struggle i'm meant to be low but i'm going to climb up and out when may lahisu his gallows i'm in a place that there's going to be revelation i'm in a place where there's a certain read the shame aliyah sometimes we descend in order to be able to go up you go down in order to be able to go up i saw beautiful muscle and another safer just this morning about this when you build a tall building what's the very first thing that you have to do if you want the building to be sturdy and last and stand what's the first thing where do you build the foundation very first thing you have to do is dig down and you go down in order to be able to go up if you want to build a tall building that's going to withstand wind you want a tall sturdy building that's going to last the first thing you do is dig a hole you go down in that hole and you build a foundation and now when you're down in that dark damp hole when there's no light and you don't see him and you feel a big tall building i'm underground i'm in a negative i'm in the red what do you mean big tall building but when you're down there you realize and you say to yourself i meant to be down here because it's only down here that i could build the foundation that i could then climb up and out only down here in this dark damp only down here in this in this hole can i build a foundation that i could build on it to go up so sometimes when we feel out of it we feel distance sometimes we spoke last week life is not just about the whole tablets it's about the broken pieces it's about the brokenness the kotzker famously said famous because i know it the cutscene famously said there's nothing as whole as a broken heart there's nothing as whole as a broken heart sometimes when you feel completely whole is when really you're broken when you feel everything's amazing and hunky-dory and smooth sailing and god's amazing life's amazing everything maybe you're faking it maybe you're imitating maybe you're an imposter maybe you're faking it maybe you're superficial so you make it look like everything's all together you got it all together everything's going so smoothly you're completely broken inside and it's the person who leans into their brokenness who's really whole a person is going through a tough time a person is wondering how they're going to fight through it or break out of it how they're going to endure to persevere through it it's only when you lean into the brokenness sometimes that you realize now i'm whole because i'm comfortable being broken because i found him even in the brokenness because i'm building a foundation in being while being underground in that brokenness in the chevrolet lujas that is that makes me whole leaning into the brokenness is what makes me is what makes me whole is what makes me whole so don't deny it don't be in denial of it lean into it and realize this is where i meant to be in this moment this is how i'm connecting to hashem at this time this is my struggle it's not over i'm not disconnected sometimes hashem is everywhere you're walking around and you literally see him everywhere his guiding hand everywhere his love everywhere his support everywhere our accountability to him everywhere sometimes we have periods of life of revelation he's everywhere and there's other times of quel mistate he's hidden he's nowhere where is he i can't find him i'm looking and i'm searching but i can't find him but even those moments of katniss of smallness of brokenness of hiddenness he's there even those moments that we feel that we're underground we are building the foundation enable in order to be able to come out and and we have to realize there are highs and lows and there's a cycle when you're in a high it's almost worse because you're waiting for when's the other shoe going to drop where i go into the low how long is this going to last how long can i maintain this level mia mia who can climb on the mountain but who could stay there so when you're in that high in that great place you say to yourself how long is this going to last how long is my daughter going to be this great happening how long am i going to have to say moon and fill in this place with him when you're in a low in a kind of paradoxical way it can be almost better because you say i'm in a low but you know what because life is cycles i know i'm going to experience a high i'm about to break out i'm about to break out with some revelation i'm about to use this as my springboard to find him i'm down underground but i'm building the foundation i'm about to build a skyscraper of the moon i'm about to build a tall sturdy skyscraper of a muna that will come out from the ground sprout and blossom out from this foundation i'm building while i feel i'm in this dark and damp underground hole i'm in this place so sometimes it's even better because i know that there's a cycle i have confidence and i've experienced that cycle in life i know i'm going to break out. and what about you'll say but i'm dark and it's damp and it's underground and i don't experience and i don't feel anything i'm going through emotions i'm just going through motions i just had this conversation with someone recently who said how about i come to schulich i said i'm doing the davening i haven't given up on it but i'm not getting anything out of it there's nothing there i'm just turning pages i'm just saying words i'm in a place of katniss we've had periods of david and where we're surrendering and submitting and we're losing ourselves in him we're focused on every word there's meditation is breathing this connection to our source it's recharging our battery and then you have uh turning pages i'm saying words i'm putting a check on the checklist we have to remember and understand s this is part of the way he conducts himself and it's part of his revealing himself he's revealing himself in hiddenness you're playing hide and seek know that you're in the middle of a game and you've got to go tag you're it go find him it's a hide and seek this is a revelation within the hiddenness now go find him now go find him then you realize that smallness or narrowness or distance or being disconnected is not in fact mean it's over game over you're out it's the opposite so he's the one hiding sometimes hashem is right there you have a cup of coffee with them wow what a cup of coffee you ever get together with a friend you haven't seen in a long time and that cup of coffee they're supposed to be half an hour it's like three hours later and you walk away and you give that hug like this was amazing we need to do this more often we caught up and i forgot how amazing it is and we're so comfortable together and you bring out the best in me and i can trust you and confide in me and that's amazing we got to do that more often so sometimes that's your daughter with hashem hashem give me a hug let's hug it out this was amazing i forgot how great that could be i spoke to you i confided in you i thanked you i felt your presence this was amazing this was amazing and other times your friend says let's play hide and seek your friend doesn't say that because we're adults and we don't do that but stick with me in my hypothetical example your friend says hide and seek we're playing hide and seek go look for me look i just wanna have coffee with you i think that's amazing his friend says but i'm hiding right now i'm playing i'm playing hard to get we do play hide and seek in friendship we just don't do it as a game like children we do it ridiculously to create drama as adults we play hide and seek i always call you let's see if she'll call me to have coffee you know i always reach out to him let's see if he'll call me we play hide and seek as adults with each other all the time only it's not a game it's damaging destructive and stupid and foolish but sometimes the relationship is hugging it out coffee three hours this was amazing and sometimes we're in the middle of a game of hide and seek and hashem we have both relationships with him as well but know that when you're in the hide-and-seek when the friend's playing hide-and-seek what they're saying is i miss you i long for you i want that relationship they just don't know how to say it they don't know how to say it or maybe they've said it ineffectively in the past so instead they're hiding they're hiding what they're really saying is i miss you and i want to get together with you and i long to have this relationship with you so when the ribosome is hiding from us it's like that friend he's not hiding because he doesn't want a relationship he's hiding because he wants us to seek he wants us to look so when we're going through a period of life where it feels like he's hidden where is he why isn't he answering why are things happening the way they are why does it feel so dark down here that's him calling out come look for me i'm hiding i'm hiding it's that kind of a takufa that kind of a of a conversation it sounds again contradictory or paradoxical within the hiddenness hashem is revealing i want you to look for me when everything's hanky dory smooth sailing going well it's going well he's right there fine when he's hiding he's almost more explicitly saying i want you to look for me so he's revealing himself through his hiddenness in darkness there's a little crack of light a breakthrough a little glimmer of light just come find me use the light find me light at the end of the tunnel that little crack the light's coming through find it find me and then make it open instead of it being a sliver or a crack break it wide open let the light in so it's a whole different paradigm and way that we could look at the dark moments of our life instead of looking at it with with sadness or frustration or as an excuse to cop out or to leave to look at it as well i don't see him and i don't feel him he really wants me to come search for him wow he's really revealing himself in his hiddenness to me in this moment it's very different than the way that we've always we've always thought about it so how do we do that how do we do that see in one second he's always there he could be hidden or revealed but he's always there may love and we are sometimes he acts in a revealed way and sometimes it's a more hidden way okay i'm with him even when i don't feel it so the way out is to lean in the way out is to lean in the way out is to realize that he's revealing himself in his hiddenness so don't stay in the hiddenness don't stay with where is he why is he why don't i feel anything why am i going through motions why is there nothing here realize if i feel nothing and there's nothing here and he feels hidden from me right now that's his invitation and my opportunity to go look for him this is my invitation opportunity to go look for him so what's the way i have to see the answer is talk to him talk to him the answer is talk to him you can find him if you talk to him i don't know if it was john gottman or where i read this a marriage therapist who made the following suggestion you know if you have a generally healthy and happy and functional and wonderful marriage but every marriage like any relationship has ups and downs there are frustrations there are fights there are tensions there are differences designs part of the nature of marriage we don't marry our carbon copy the whole beauty of marriage is that we marry people who compliment us but we have different backgrounds and upbringings personalities and genetics different approaches to things when we navigate them smoothly we complement one another it's wonderful but by design there's also going to be friction and differences different expectations and the like so sometimes there's a fight so sometimes there's again it's love and hunky-dory and romance and electric and amazing and everything you can't get enough of spending time together it's wonderful and sometimes i don't even know who this person is and i don't even recognize them and so angry and frustrated this behavior it's got to be worked through so what do you do you know you call up a fluke and schedule to get because you have to fight you get a difference of opinion about how to spend yanta or where to go on vacation or something with the children or something about the credit card bill so that's it that's it you give the get because you realize we have a marriage it's healthy has a strong foundation we're going through a moment of hiddenness of katniss of a of a distance so how do you get it back how do you break out how do you break out so i once saw a marriage therapist who said the following assuming it's appropriate logically and it's something that can be done he said with the consent of the other person in the middle of the fight just give a hug to the other person in the middle of the fight right the temperature's high the decibel level's high the emotions are running high but just put your hand on the other person's hand just give a hug and then you go back to the fight touch their hand then go back to the fight give a hug and then go back to the fight the advice was what the hug or what touching the hand does is it's an affirmation it's a reminder that there's really a loving relationship a connection a shared history shared destiny a shared soul we'll figure this out we'll work this out we'll have this conversation we'll reconcile this issue but let's just remember that this fight can be an opportunity to actually figure something out gottman does say that every fight was a conversation that needed to happen that didn't happen in every fight there was a conversation that needed to happen that the fight happened instead but if you can pivot the fight into the conversation then the fight was a good thing if there was a difference that had to be reconciled there were feelings that had to be dealt with then the fight could be a good thing if it becomes a conversation instead of a fight so it's a very interesting strategy that you interrupt the fight to have a hug interrupt the fight to touch your hand and that energy that's exchanged and that affection deflects an enormous amount of what was driving that fight enables a person to say you know the five or five rule shared it in joshua before if it won't matter in five years then don't spend more than five minutes on it if it won't matter in five years don't spend more than five minutes spend five minutes something frustrated you annoyed you about the shul the school the community the airline the department store the traffic your spouse you could spend five minutes but if it won't matter in five years don't spend more than five minutes it's a philosophy an approach to life it's not my own i forgot who said it so what the what the affection does is it reconnects you and reminds you that the fight won't matter in five minutes we'll figure it out but the marriage is strong and there's affection underneath it why am i telling you this because it's a good strategy first of all [Music] but also because i think we could do the same thing we could do the same thing with hashem we have a relationship with hashem we know he's a creator we know he's our source we know he's in charge of everything we know he created the world we know we're accountable to him we know he loves us we love him we know all of that sometimes there's some tension sometimes we don't feel it sometimes we don't feel him sometimes we feel he's hiding sometimes there's no affection sometimes we're in a period of cotness of smallness sometimes we're feeling brokenness so you got to reach out and give him a hug reach out and touch his hand interrupt that tension that distance interrupt that brokenness with oh yeah you love me and i love you and we're connected and you are the source of everything in my life and and i'm going to come out of this life is a cycle there's highs and lows there's ups and downs and i'm going to come out of this so how do you reach out and touch hashem how do you give him that hug how do you hold that hand how do you show that affection how do you break out attempt to stop here because we're almost out of time we'll do two more minutes i don't want to leave you with a cliffhanger without you have to be willing to be mostly nephesh relationship takes effort sacrifice compromise courage you have to find him from the brokenness and the smallness commercial um you will search a searcher and a seeker and you'll look for him from that place will be cashed in from where mesham what sham what's up in the descent in the fall in the dungeon in the dark damp underground hole from sham um you'll find him you'll find him you'll seek him and you'll see him and you'll find him in that place you break out by talking to him you break out by looking for him the fact that he feels far away and hidden is not an excuse to stop looking it means you have to look harder it means you have to search harder it means you have to search harder i heard a story i don't know if it's true who's the owner of the cowboys i'm talking to the wrong crowd offense no offense they don't here anyone want to impress me right now the dallas cowboys i forgot his name who owns the dallas cowboys he made his money off of discovering oil texas i got i heard this story i don't know if it's true so um so how did he discover oil so he didn't drill in places that hadn't been drilled his secret strategy his business approach was companies that were digging for oil and they dug and they didn't find oil and they gave up and they moved down to a new location he would buy the rights to dig in that place that doesn't sound like a winning strategy to me companies who specialize who dug and didn't find why would you buy the right stafka specifically to those places and he dug and he found and he said because those companies they had a certain formula if they invest x amount of money x amount of time to dig x amount of depth and they don't find they move on he said but i knew that there was a reason they chose that spot and all i needed to do was do what dig a little deeper and if you dig a little deeper you walk away with tremendous wealth in life sometimes you just need to dig a little deeper you have to be willing to dig a little deeper so are we willing to dig a little deeper if we want religion and spirituality to come to us it's going to be hard it's going to be hard i was interviewed for the headlines podcast this week about fila and i think the first question that was asked you know what could we be doing differently or better to get more connected to daviding and the first thing i said was taking achara's taking responsibility you know we come as spectators as religious spectators to religion i'm here in shul wow me turn me on excite me elevate me inspire me rabbi hazen choir people sitting near me come on and then we leave and we say you know i wasn't inspired shul doesn't do it this minion doesn't do it this rabbi doesn't do it nothing does it but what a harass do we take if we are committed and invested and we take responsibility for our own spirituality you could be in the most uninspiring environment and you will be elevated and if you and if you are turned off and disconnected you can be in the most inspiring environment you'll feel nothing so of course it all contributes and we spend all of our life trying to make it an inspiring environment but it begins with taking acrys you could hire the nutritionist and the exercise coach and the trainer and uh but if you don't take achara's it's not going to help taking responsibility we have to be willing to dig deeper we have to be seekers and searchers we have to be on a mission that we're looking for god are we looking for him are we talking to him are we in conversation with him do we feel him sometimes he's readily right in front of our face we don't have to look very far other times he's playing hide and seek and those are the moments of truth how much are we willing to look but we don't take achara's i mean this is a general problem and phenomena 21st century that everything comes to us so conveniently comfortably and smoothly and easily it's about disposable i don't like my car i get a new one i upgrade my phone i upgrade my technology i google and i get my answers i don't like something i turn it in or i go to somewhere else or something else people can change anything they want today even the world is telling them they can change their core identity in certain ways everyone just wants to be able to transfer and transform and change and get whatever they want easily you can't pay for spiritual surgery spiritually it doesn't work that way spiritually you can't pay to get you know whatever surgery to change your spiritual identity i want to be an inspired person where can i pay someone where can i pay someone to change my spiritual identity my spiritual orientation so i can just be that person got to dig deeper you got to take a christmas we got to take ownership over it are we searching are we seeking are we looking what are we doing how are we invested what are we willing to give up how are we willing to inconvenience ourselves how are we willing to leave our comfort zone if we believe it's worthwhile if you believe it's not worthwhile and you don't believe it's expected of you then don't do it but if we believe it's worthwhile if we believe it's meaningful and purposeful if we believe it's what life is all about if we believe it's what's good for our spiritual emotional physical health good you say that so what are we willing to do for it do we want to want it or do we want it do we want it what are we willing to put into it to get something out of dominic to have a relationship with the shepherd to be in conversation with him what are we willing to put in do we allocate the time the energy the resources the attention the focus or do we want it to come to us we want to be passive spectators just wake up and all of a sudden we're plugged in and everything is amazing it doesn't work that way it takes work and it takes effort you know what it's called avodah's hashem what is the word avodah mean work it's called avodah the word avodah for a reason no pain no gain takes work it's like i want to wake up at the gym like why aren't my muscles bigger why haven't i lost weight why isn't my heart healthier you haven't touched a machine you're sitting in the corner watching as a spectator everyone else work out the train is barking orders at you but you're sitting on a chair watching the workout and you're wondering why aren't i healthier why aren't i bigger and stronger and better hey buddy hey lady get on a treadmill touch a weight break a sweat no pain no gains you don't take achara's nothing's going to change so do we lean in are we willing to lean in the pace to search and to seek to mix it up and i'll end by telling you some of you were there thank you for coming some of you were there i have no idea because it was pitch black but last thursday night we met at the beach for us both of us at the beach to talk about mixing it up it was fantastic one of you i won't say you had one embarrassed changed your life it's incredibly rewarding for me to hear you walked away from that maybe first authentic conversation with hashem in such a deep and profound way one of you who spent several years i won't say many several years dominating and learning and talking to hashem said it changed your life one of you is sitting here naturally it changed your life it's unbelievable darwining's not always from that same sitter it's not always in that same seat and shul it's not within that same space in our home mix it up close the sitter just talked it we went to the beach last thursday night i thought it was going to be me myself and i i thought it was going to be hispotus but there were over 50 people who showed up and we sat in a big circle in the sand in the suit and tie in the sand i thought no one was gonna show up i was just gonna turn around and go home but in the sand and we sang and then we did some very cheesy breathing deep breathing we restored on the shama shima and then we listened to the waves and the chirps and we tried to feel but there was no breeze because it's bokeh in august of them and then we learned the piece by rab nachman about his bow to this what it means to have a conversation with hashem and then we scattered along the beach and we sat there we just looked out into the endless ocean and listened and watched the waves crash at our feet and close their eyes or left them open but had a conversation with hashem out loud talk to him what we object what we protest what we need what we ask what we're grateful for what we thank him for it was amazing it was amazing i was done and i'm like okay i think i'm good and then i looked around everyone was still there so i was like i i can't leave yet i suppose the leader okay a couple more minutes of this and i'm like okay i'm good i looked around and everyone was still there and it was just a beautiful sight to see people spread out privately and some leaning against poles sang there to hillam and some finding their feet in the ocean and some that was just amazing now if we do that every single night will it grow old and sale absolutely some people were like let's do this once a month i'm that might even that might be too often and we don't have to do it all together the idea is to suppose this separate do it apart we got to have real conversations we got to search and seek we got to look for him he's hiding and he's inviting us so the upshot is that even in those moments sometimes we feel down and out in despair in the dark dungeon sometimes we feel we're in that whole underground build a foundation while you're down there build a foundation that you can build a huge spiritual skyscraper to sprout from the sky get off the chair in the corner of the spiritual gym and get on a machine get on a machine lift some weights do some cardio put on the spiritual workout clothing that tells you i'm going to break a sweat i'm going to get in the game i'm going to look i'm going to search i'm going to take a christ responsibility for my own spirituality i'm not going to wait to be inspired i'm going to find it and seek it and search it know jerry jones thank you bailey smith online jerry jones owns the dallas campus dig a little deeper dig a little deeper thank you dig a little deeper because you strike spiritual oil if you dig a little bit deeper everyone else is going to give up at the surface everyone else only dug a little bit dig a little bit deeper a little dig a little bit deeper and the mitsubishi to strike spiritual oil and wealth and riches that we should spend more time in the period of godless than katniss more time in the highs than the lows and be able to meet hashem hashem each and every day in our life stay happy stay healthy stay holy tonight is a very big milestone i hope your calendars are all marked i'm sure they are tonight's a huge celebration of the jewish people you know what tonight is in the calendar tonight is the 100th episode of behind the bema good count thank you very much thank you thank you anyway we're going to celebrate tonight with the great eitan cats by the way this is you talk about wanting to be inspired we will talk to him about the soul of his songs and being connected one of the questions i ask him is when he plays at a concert at a simcha is he just playing the music because he's hired to perform or does he really feel the manha every time he plays it does he feel barache every time he plays it how do you not make it be wrote how do you stay connected to the music what is the role of music and stirring our soul talk about music i don't know what nacho would say about listening to music while you sit alone on the beach trying to talk to hashem but music for me sometimes music can move you to tears music makes you move your feet clap your hands music changes the whole attitude environment and energy music can wake up a sleeping soul it's the power of music tonight 9 p.m behind the bema you can share we have an email and a phone number but i think behind the beam gmail.com if you have a favorite episode or favorite guest or a favorite moment we're gonna share everybody's favorite moments tonight so we'll read it with your name or without if you'd like to share it tonight behind the beam until next time stay happy stay healthy stay holy you can go get your ammuna stuff in the lobby have a fantastic day everyone thank you