Maamar Mekoshesh 5713 #3: Monday - June 16

Okay, welcome everybody. Good morning. We'll dedicate the class today for our uh brothers and sisters in the Holy Land. And all of those involved in fighting the war against the Hamans of our generation. The Air Force and the pilots and the the entire leadership involved in this war. Hashem Yishmor Tzeischem Uvo'achem May'ata Vad Olam. And all of our brothers and sisters should be protected. And uh all those who need a recovery should have a Refuah Shleimah and a Refuah Shleimah. If my shake it again. Excellent. Okay. Today's class is dedicated by Evelyn Sellinger. Evelyn Zellinger. In loving memory of her dear father Evan Chemia Ben Benjamin David. In honor of his Yahrzeit on the eighth day of Sivan. Tehei Nishmaso Tzrurah Betzror Hachaim. May his soul be an eternal source of light and inspiration for you and the entire family and all of the Jewish people. L'arichus Yamim for many long, happy, and healthy years. And thank you very, very much for your partnership. So, we began the Maimer on Shlach on we would began a Maimer that was said on Shlach. The Rebbe said on Shlach Taf Shin Yud Gimmel. It's a Maimer by the Lubavitcher Rebbe Shabbos Shlach Taf Shin Yud Gimmel 1953. That explores the story at the end of this week's Parsha with the Mekoshesh Eitzim. Right, the person who was literally uh harvesting wood or gathering wood in the Midbar. And uh we had two classes. We're holding Sif Daled. Which is page six in the copies. So. It's a deep very deep Maimer. The main thrust was that the Zohar says that the word Mekoshesh means comparing. He was comparing two trees, the tree of life to the tree of knowledge. Figuring out which one is greater. Which seems like a very, very strange commentary and interpretation completely detached from the literal interpretation that he was desecrating Shabbos by gathering wood or by collecting by collecting wood or by cutting wood, harvesting wood. Meaning chopping trees, felling trees, and making lumber from it. And the Zohar comes and says this whole novel, very interesting interpretation that he's comparing trees, the tree of knowledge, the tree of life. What's the connection? How does it come in here? What was the Why was there a penalty for this? What was he even doing? What's the connection to the literal interpretation? Well, those were the some of the questions that were asked in the beginning of the mind. For this, he went into a discussion. For this, you have to understand what this tree of knowledge really is, Etz HaDaas. We usually see it as a tree that has a lot of negativity in it. I mean, it's a tree that brought disaster and catastrophe. The problem with that interpretation is that this Targum, Targum Yerushalmi, which is one of the earliest Aramaic translations of Chumash, says that it's a tree that when you eat it, you could separate between good and evil. Which is actually a very good thing for people to separate between good and evil. It's the purpose of life to be able to constantly differentiate between what's good and what's not good. To have that awareness, to have that consciousness, to have that uh um mental that mental clarity. I mean, that's as he says, tachlis ha'avodah. That's the purpose of avodah. It's not a bad thing. And the fact that the tree is in Gan Eden also means that Gan Eden can tolerate us. And Gan Eden is a place of holiness. If Gan Eden can tolerate it, it belongs in Gan Eden. It's part of the furniture, so to speak, of Gan Eden, of the Garden of Eden, which is a place of holiness, and it's the place that the neshama comes to after its life as a space where it experiences full holiness, and the result of everything it created through Torah and mitzvahs through its life here. Gan Eden is really the radiance, the the the light that's that's generated from a person's life, from all of the positivity, all the goodness and the holiness. That's what God made in us. And the fact that this tree is there, it's not some random alien, you know, foreign growth that popped in there and doesn't belong there. It's part of the furniture. It means that essentially Etz Chaim Daas is a tree of holiness. And this explains well that the Targum says, Targum Yerushalmi, that it's a tree that when you eat it, you can differentiate between tov and bish, between positive and negative. If so, what's the problem with it? Eat, eat, eat. Eat more. Everybody should eat it. Everybody should have a taste to know the difference, right? The greatest problems in life and in society is when people don't know the difference between good and evil. Or even if they know, they don't really know. And even if they really know, they don't really feel it. And even if they really feel it, they don't really act on it, etc. But it all begins with Daas. So, from here we're learning and nonetheless we say that no, the Etz Chaim Daas created some domino effect of negativity. And the penalties were profound and it changed us history. So, from here the Rebbe concludes that we have to understand that the Etz Chaim Daas on its own is holy. It It's in the realm of holiness. However, it's something that Birur Histalshelus, from many, many developments afterwards, can come something that's negative. What does this mean? So, from here he started a whole explanation. This was the thrust of Seif Gimmel. That there's two tracks in Yiddishkeit. There's two streams of life. The way the Maamar puts it is there's Avodah Avodah Avodah Avodah. Literally, Avodah within limits and measurement and Avodah beyond limits and measurements. Which perhaps in simple English, the way we could define it is there's an Avodah in which still never recognize your infinity. You remain in a paradigm of finiteness, of measurements, which is an avodah. It's a way of life, and it's even a way of avodah. Meaning it's a way of serving God. And then there's an avodah in which you recognize, you're in touch you're in touch with the heartbeat of infinity in your own life. In other words, a person could literally live their entire life in a box. A good box, a fine box. It could hold a holy even a holy box. We say a box, it means that ultimately I never recognize my own infinity. Everything remains bemideda, with measurement and hagbala. And as he gives many examples, the way a person deals with tzedakah, the way a person davens, the way a person learns. Torah, avodah, mitzvot, and then he gets into the world of emotions. Right? The way we relate to it to love, the way we even experience of love. Also, it's love with a very, very profound limitation, and the way it's expressed expressed practically, as he says is it's always the love coming back to me, how I feel about it. So, they never rather than love where the person could let go, could really let go. It's a different experience. One is an experience in which I never leave my finiteness. I remain safe, small, and in control, and comfortable, at least in my own perception of what comfort is. It's not really comfortable, because it's it's small, safe, and in control, but it's less fearful. And then there is a different track in avodah, which equals lemalah mideda v'hagbala, which means when a person can tune in to the heartbeat of infinity, which is at the core of reality, Hashem is Ein Sof, and their whole avodah focuses on that. And And went through in many stages, the way it's in my Torah, avodah, mitzvot, the way it's in emotions of of a year two forms. And then he said the way it's in my hand the awareness that produces emotions. One relates to a godliness that you could somehow understand, comprehend, put into a box. And one relates to pure infinity where there is mystery where you need to let go of every finiteness because you can have a relationship with truth from a place of finiteness. And then he said even this was the last piece pretty complicated even the liver which is market means a pure desire of the heart can also operate on the two levels as he spoke the difference of two loyal friends where their love can go into concealment even though it's never obliterated and a parent and a child who are in touch with their essence where the love can't even go into concealment cuz it's in Russian of it's not in a level of it's on a level of something. Those was basically the two tracks that were discussed. I mean if you if you it's deep so you could review it we discussed it at length. I want to just go further so I'm just staying with this summation. Now he goes to the next step before he comes back to the conclusion. And that is everything in our experience begins begins in the source of fire. Can still bring in a cover right? We built a cover. Welcome aboard. So now we go back to the how it's in the source. If you remember he started with the these two experiences these two tracks so to speak. You know there's two tracks express and local. Is uh exist in a way that it exist in the his burning nose that brings to the a way that and it exists even in the spheres above even in divinity that produces it all. So that now he goes to that step, the sieve dalet. It's a little bit of a complicated paragraph because it uses a lot of uh language of Kabbalah. But we'll go through it and then be a kid is to get the nakuda and then to see how it all translates in aveda. So he says dalet. The two streams in aveda that we spoke about. One in which I remain in my finiteness and I my all my relationships come from that space and one in which I have the courage to transcend it. And it's very important to understand these two things. They're rooted in the spheres. They're rooted in a certain gili elokus. They're rooted in a certain in a certain revelation of the spheres, a certain revelation of godliness. Generally whenever my aveda is in a certain style, it's in a mode, it's midas of agbala. If that's getting challenged, if that's getting cracked there's a lot of resistance. Because if I live in a certain box I have machitzas. I have a safe zone, a safe room, right? Psychologically speaking. And when somebody tries to penetrate it and break it, there's resistance. Because you're threatening you're threatening very deep existence. And that's the reason why this aveda with midas of agbala is a very it's it's frail, it's fragile. Because it exists only in its realm and when you try to crack it it's very very scary. I'm going to resist it. Like we spoke in the in the in the first class on the mind map, when it comes something between parents and children, there's a love, a very very deep love, but the love is the love of Allah. The love is, if you do X Y Z, there's an unbelievable love and unbelievable acceptance. If not, it becomes very very difficult. And the reason is because it's challenging my very very paradigm. And that's when you have an opportunity to actually crack open and go into a flow of infinity. But it's not easy because the ego protects me. It's very and and you'll see in the two types of love that we discussed at length, the love in which I love I love you because of how I feel, how it makes me feel. And one is which I can actually feel you, really really feel you. The leap between the two, he says, is a leap from finiteness to infinity. It's a leap from being in a space that's closed off to being in a very very open space. That leap doesn't happen so easily. And often, when the first one is challenged cuz it's not working, right? It's an opportunity, actually. It's an invitation to to myself, to ourself, and say, maybe now I can actually graduate from one to the other. So often in life, we're in a particular situation, and the relationships seem to be going well, and then they get very very challenged. In most cases, in many cases, the challenge is it's an invitation to go from the place of Allah in which this love is not going to survive to a place of Allah. The deepest work is in myself. Am I ready to crack open and flow into a different open space, an infinite zone, so to speak? That's a whole different experience, you know? It's like the spaceship. Once it's get out what it gets out of the Huh? Once it breaks the atmosphere, it's already a whole different matter. So, gravity doesn't work anymore. Right? Till till Huh? No problem. So, it's true also in life. My whole life I could be in the atmosphere and anything that's challenging me, right? I have to reject. I have to resist. Because I remain there. Fortunate is the person who says, "No, this is an invitation actually to go out of your atmosphere. To go out of your Hakbalah. For that, I need to be able to let go. Let go of my security. Let go of the experience that seemed so safe. And in life, God always sends us those opportunities. Those gifts. Some people may call it challenges and it's the same thing. It is a challenge. Because it's an obstacle. It's something that threatens what exists now. But it's an invitation to the world of Hakbalah. So, now let's see how it exists in the Sefirot. When you talk about Sefirot, Hashem's characteristics. The last one is Malchut. The nine Sefirot of Malchut, meaning the higher ones. This this In Malchut, you have the Malchut, the Bina, the Chesed, the Da'at, the Chesed, the Gevurah, the Tiferet. All the way here is nine. Ten Sefirot. You have Malchut and Bina. They go Their function is to go down and descend and and enclose themselves in the world that's called Yetzirah, Asiyah. That's the energy force. You can't say on this to a possuk Yeshayahu, "My covert, my glory, I will not give to anybody else. As the possuk says in Mishlei, her legs go down into a space that's antithetical of life. Malchus, its design, its function is to be able to go into the worlds and therefore to be affected by it, to be in a relationship with it. Whenever you're going to go and manifest yourself and dress up, become malbush enclosed in the energy, this is what gives the energy of the universe, you become one with it. That's its function. And on this we say Ragla ha Yordis, her legs actually go down. Malchus is the divine energy, the Shechina of the Shechanti, that is manifested in life, in all of its manifestations. And therefore, in order to be manifested in something, you have to be fully present. And to be fully present means it affects you and you affect it. You're fully present inside of it. You're not aloof, you're not detached. You're all there, yeah? Yeah. You can't say which is my covert I don't give to anybody else. It remains completely pristine and pure. No, on the contrary, it goes into the situation. You know, it gets messy. You go into the situation. K'mochin Gan Bezah, Even Zah, which are the six middos, Z'eir Anpin, yeah. The small face, which basically are the six middos, Chessed through your side, which are generally connected with chesed as zachar chasdei. Mekomo kein, malchus is femininity, which goes into the world. Zah is zachar chasdei, which is a remez for zachar masculinity, which remains aloof. Mekomo kein, that's zachar chasdei, it's a remez. Zahar means he remembers, but Kabbalah teaches zachar as also as masculinity, which remains aloof. It's known there's a difference between what's called revealed chesed and concealed. When chesed is more concealed, it's harder for there to be nurtured. There won't be nurturing. There won't be nursing of the chitzonim of the external forces. Whenever this sod hamamugulim revealed, he'll explain, it's much easier for there to be nikla chitzonim. The external forces could nurture from it. Kemashe kasuv, this is the depth of the depth of the pasuk The fool doesn't want tvunah. The fool wants the revelation of his heart. Literally, it means a fool is just looking to follow impulsive emotions. A ksil is a fool. Tvunah means understanding. In in in Chassidus, it's a much deeper explanation. The fool is the yetzer hara. That's what it says in Koheles. The fool doesn't want his galus liba. He doesn't want tvunah. He wants his galus liba. What's tvunah? There's binah and there's tvunah and then there's galus liba. So, it's three stages. Binah is understanding. Tvunah is the letters ben ubas, the son and the daughter, but they're still impregnated in the binah. So, it's called tvunah. It's the emotions, the way they're still impregnated in the womb of binah. And then there's his galus liba, is the way the emotions come out viscerally. They actually feel them. So, he says, "Tvunah ois is ben u bas." Tvunah, if you see the word tvunah, right? You have tvunah tav tav vav nun hey. So, you have base nun ben. You also have base tav. Right? Bas. You also have vav and vav and hey. So, binah is the understanding. We say binah binah binah. Like chochmah binah. Middos is the way it comes out. It's embodied. It's the feeling itself. It's a visceral emotion. Tvunah is the bridge. It's the middle. Like when a child, when a fetus is still in the womb of the mother. You have a baby. You have a fetus. If parents are called awareness, mochin, abba imma, abba is chochmah. Imma is binah, father mother. Middos are the children like it says in Tanya chapter three. Chochmah binah is like the parents and middos are the offspring of the parents. But you have the parents as parents, you have children the way they emerge and then you have the middle stage when the child is impregnated in the womb of the mother. That's called tvunah. That's not binah. It's tvunah. It's not hisgalusly, but this is called sod am amuchsam. Like a a baby, a fetus is still covered. It's still yarech imah. It's part of the mother. So, so, so, so, so says layachpos ksil bitvunah kem hisgalus liba. The ksil, the fool, the yetzer hara, he always wants hisgalus liba. He likes to detach it from the source. He doesn't want tvunah. He wants hisgalus liba. Meaning Huh? Yeah, we'll see. I'll explain. The bitvunah it's just ben u bas. So, av u yed amuchsam bamochin. I don't get it. So, who is the ksil? The yetzer hara. The ksil is the yetzer hara, yeah. The klipah. Klipah. Chitzonim calls it the external energies. That want external energy, not the not the essence. Av u yed amuchsam bamochin. They will not be nurtured for external forces. Even though it's not mochin, it's midos, it's not called bina. The call my name call on the cycle. It's still subsumed, it's still called a cycle and awareness. Like it says in the writings of the Arizal al HaPassuk. On the Passuk in Mishlei "Mayim Amukim Bilev Ish Ish Tvunah Yidlena." Deep waters in the heart of a person. And a person of understanding will draw it out. Yidlena like daloy. He will draw the water that's deep. So he says the tvunah avirah kulum b'seichel. This is avirah that's deep, it's subsumed in seichel. Because what's felt in them is the light of bina. The chitzonim cannot get nurtured from it. In revealed midos, the bina is missing. Like the baby emerged independently. Efshelius ya mamyanika. The chitzonim could get nurtured from The fool wants the revelation of This is what he wants. He wants always his galus libo given cuz here he could latch on and get his meals, get his breakfast, lunch, and supper. You you just you just understand what he's saying. Huh? Oh, so we have to understand. On one hand, the tachlis is his galus libo. Right? That's it's a Not only it's a good thing, it's it's the purpose. That's why that's why he wants it, right? The thief goes to the bank to get money. He doesn't go to a a homeless shelter. The bee goes to the honey. The bee doesn't go to Right. Very good. The thief doesn't want your job. He wants your money, yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah, the issue is this. Midus his godless labor is a tachlis. Right? If a person if a person everything remains just academic, intellectual, in the brain there's something very fundamental that's missing. It's called life. Life is embodied. It's in your in your body. And that's what his godless labor means. Godless labor means actually your heart feels it. You know, when your heart expands when your heart gets up tight, you actually feel it in your body. That's what his godless labor means. It's revealed. It's physical. It's a visceral visceral experience. What's the negation here of his godless labor? Whenever there's his godless labor though, you have to know that because I am in that space of completely experiencing the texture of life, it's also a very very vulnerable space. Its beauty is its vulnerability. What make What makes it It's It's like I'm a child. Its beauty It's its vulnerability. I am completely completely enmeshed. Yeah, I am enmeshed. That's what his godless labor means. I'm not an observer. I'm not in an ivory tower with the luxury of observing and analyzing and discerning and dissecting. I'm not objective. Completely not. I'm in the I'm the embodiment of subjectivity. Yes, this is who I am. And I can't deny it with his godless labor. On one hand, that's the tachlis. It means that it went down and it came down all the way into the goof. You're not living life from the peripheries. You're not living life from the ivory towers watching things and seeing when it's safe to come out. On the other hand, the Yach but still between the came because of Galus Liba, the Ksil wants to detach from Tvuna. Why? Because Tvuna is what keeps the middos anchored in authenticity. What often can happen is I completely go into the world of Hisgalus Liba, but it becomes detached from Tvuna. And when it becomes detached from Tvuna, it can become so subjective that it's just about what I'm feeling at the moment, and it could become its own ego trip. The beauty of it is you're alive, you're feeling. The tragedy of it is the feelings can completely take over, and they're not rooted in a truth. They're not challenged. It's like, this is what I'm feeling, and the feeling becomes the holy grail, and this is what I worship, and this becomes the essence of reality cuz I'm feeling it. Huh? It's not to negate the experience of emotion. The experience of emotion is that the core of life is Galus Liba. Huh? Even not to not to not to worship it. To be able to have a reference point, a compass. A compass, you need a The circle is important. You don't want to just stay in the dot. You want the circle. But it's a reference point. It allows me to work with my emotions, not to destroy them, to work with them. To enlighten it like education. That's what education is. So there could be an expansive experience. So it's honoring what is, and yet appreciating that there could be more growth. I'm touching on something. Like this is my feeling. For a person to be able to say this is what I'm feeling now is very, very important. This is what I'm feeling. Be able to be honest about it. But to stop there and say this is what I'm feeling, period. Boom, you're out of my life, you're in my life. That's a fool. Huh? Yeah. It's a beginning point cuz that's what I'm working with. The still wants his Godly sleep, but that's it. What's Tzvunah? Tzvunah is could we go back to mommy? Right? In simple English it would mean what did you really need from your mother? This emotion is coming from a mother. So we always blame our mothers, right? This emotion is coming from a mother. What did your mother not give you? Which part of the mother's gaze did you not experience? The maternal gaze at the depth of this emotion, this is what allows the emotions to continuously grow. Or in simple words, it means every Hisgalus Liboy is a son or a daughter. But the son of the daughter began in a source. When you go back to the source, you can heal things. Ain't not in him talking about the Shurshim. Like it's brought in Kabbalah, everything gets healed in the Shurish, in the source. So that's Sodom and Amorah rather than Sodom and Amorah. In fact, in Tanya Perek Tes-Zayin, the Alter Rebbe speaks about these two types of emotions. And he says that for some people it's very hard to get his Godly sleep. Their souls are rooted in Tzvunah. Their Nishamas, he says this in Tanya chapter 16. Their souls are rooted in Tzvunah and therefore it's actually hard for them to get his Godly sleep. And he says it could be very demoralizing cuz sometimes they're not experiencing full-fledged emotions. Just they're they're stuck on the reasoning. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and it it it's very, very difficult. He says Machshava Tova Kodesh Baruch Hu Metzaf L'Maaseh. Explains that Machshava Tova means when you do things based on it. So it's missing that link of passion. So I could meet to my the to the action. Make give it wings and soar. Cuz it should have said my a good thought I should consider it like you did it. Doesn't say that it says he combines the to the mice. What's the my to my sister's action? When there's a feeling of passion, it fuels the action. It's like gas in an airplane. It's like wings of a bird. When it's still in it doesn't have that that ecstasy. So my to my to my sister. But there's a certain there's a certain beauty in that doesn't even exist in his because there's an idea there's a purity there. There's an idealism. In his life there's satisfaction cuz your heart is actually feeling it. So it's very satisfying. It's beautiful. It's also satisfying. In you don't have the ego can't go in there because it's actually that you don't have that satisfaction. So is a very very pure place. So you should never underestimate it. What it means is sometimes we're not capable of having the full-fledged emotional experience of something but you're capable of giving birth to the emotion at least in an impregnated state. Meaning that the mind appreciates that this is the appropriate emotion now. That's what pregnancy looks like. The baby didn't come out yet. But the mind produces already the baby. That's a very very deep state. In a way the still doesn't like that because it's a very pure emotion. Once you're feeling it, the cat gets out of the bag. Now it can get very very wild and impulsive and it can detach from the source. It's like when a baby is independent now you have to take care of it. When it's in the womb it's still feeding off the mother. The oxygen, the nutrition it's all from the mother. So it's the the way they're being nurtured from Bina, there's a purity there because it's linked to its source. It It knows its justification. And it doesn't have the satisfaction of just feeling, feeling, feeling. So, that's why we say still between because from the could be a sign. So, this is not to negate visceral emotions. Uh Yeah. Yeah. It's completely Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In it's pregnant, and you is already there's there's an independence, but you're still nursing. But at least you're nursing. That's the still connected. And then there's when you become a teenager, and you're like, "Ma, I don't even know you." That's a whole different experience. And blessed is the person who can always bring that back the to the source. Because every emotion is coming from somewhere. There's an awareness that's producing it. I may not see it cuz I'm just in the heat of the moment. I'm angry, I'm overwhelmed, I'm anxious, I'm afraid, I love you, I hate you, I'm running from you, whatever it is. Maybe even I'm inspired. Or I'm inspired, right? Yeah. That you should have said. Yeah. So, it's back to enmeshment. is is all about enmeshment. It's the that goes into the world. It assumes the veneer of the world. Even which is which is the masculinity, not femininity. That's why women feel the heartbeat of life in a very very powerful way. Right? And then men are like, "You have to be objective." Good luck. Good luck with your objectivity. Let's see how that's far that's going to take you in relationships. So, is completely completely visceral. That's it. So, he says goes into touches death. Even Zah, this Sodom and Gomorrah, and Sodom and Gomorrah. In Sodom and Gomorrah, there is an measurement. Yeah. You're You're feeling. You're going into the experience. Now he goes further. Even in Moachin, in Bina, there's a concept of Shvirah. There could be a brokenness. There could be a Shvirah. It's a Shvirah. In In Kabbalah, we know there's Tohu and Tikun. In the world of Tohu, broke up the lights in the vessels. The vessels cracked open. And there was a tremendous breakdown of the whole world of Tohu. In the four names of Hashem, there was the name Mah, Ban, Sag, and Ah. 45, 52, 63, 72. We're not going to get into the details, but it's four ways of writing out Hashem's name, which make up 45, 52, 63, 72. If you write out Yud and Hey and Vav and Hey, you could write it out as Yud Vav Dalet Hey Aleph Vav Aleph Vav Hey Aleph. That would be 45. There's another three ways of writing it out, which would make the other names Sag, Ban, and Ah. In Kabbalah, the Shvirah, the breaking was in the name of Sag. Shem Sag, which is also in In Hebrew, Sigim. Sigim are sediments. We say in Tehillim, right? It's all filthy and dirty. So that's the name Sag. It's also Gask. Gask means arrogance. The Shvirah begins in Bina not in Chochmah. Why? Bina is a measurement. Chochmah is Bina is already understanding. It's a form of comprehending. Over there, there's already a Shvirah. So it's interesting. Just like he spoke in Avodah, there's different levels of There's different levels of There's different levels of It all begins in Elokus. There's the way midas of Malchus. There's Bina. I Bina is Tuvuna. You're right. Like midas Bina there's no unique but Chochma Bina is already formalizing Godliness in a context of limitation. And the mailer there's already there could be a sphere that could be broken there. In Chochma you must be able to Chochma. Chochma there's no sphere. Because Chochma is Chochma. And Chochma there's no ego and therefore there's no sphere. Only the ego could be broken because ego is ego. Come making spheres of Kesser. Just like he did in Avoda. He went through all the stages and showed that even in the highest places you could still be stuck in finiteness. So he's doing showing in the spheres you have the same thing. On one level it's Malchus. On another level it's level it's Bina and then even the liver Kesser. The possuk says a spider can be grabbed with hands and it remains in the chamber of the king. Even in the chamber of the king you can have somewhere a spider. Even the Malchus which represents Kesser. Which represents the Malchus from the external element of the Malchus there could be When you speak about the Malchus which is the infinity of God the crown from its external parts the spider could be tolerated because the king is so aloof he's not going to extricate the spider web and therefore somehow they could live over there. They can they can find their way. Once this is Kesser meaning in the deepest deepest level That's why it says Haman wanted to do Goralis. He wanted to go to a place of randomness, Guyro. And over there, he could exterminate the Jewish people cuz once you reach that place of Makif, God doesn't have needs. God is perfect. He's infinite. Good and evil, these are all definitions. And therefore, he hoped that from there, he could survive. The spider web could go in there. And he's right on the level of Makif and Makif. Even though not so there's no evil doesn't live with you. Even in Malchus of Atzilus, it's all holy. In all these places, there's nothing but holiness. Nonetheless, the Makif that's already relatable to the worlds, even if you go deeper pre-Tzimtzum, before the world was created, it was only him and his name. Even in there, there's two The way the expands and the way the is subsumed in the essence. Or to put it differently, an that's to revelation on that's not revelation. That's like the inside of himself. So even pre-Tzimtzum, you have so to speak This the these two points, like we spoke in the mind before Shavuos, Since even though it's higher than Atzilus, has a to the worlds, so therefore, there's some connection to the external forces to the point that the spider web gets away. If you speak also in a person, when you dealing with more external level of will there could be ultimately a unique external forces could get nurture from it but if you go into the like not just there's no echo there's no shadow of a shadow it's completely beyond the world in other words it's a space of pure so it's completely beyond the limitations of the over there there's no there's no holding on the what's the summation over here I know that all the are not so clear the point is everything we learned before how and avoid it is two different streams in avoid it is two different streams is two different experiences one within the finiteness and one within infinity and he discussed it on many levels he's showing here that it doesn't begin in the person it begins in the it begins in the flow of godliness into the world there's so many different ways of experiencing it so many different streams which are called the you have the way it's in the way and and therefore as a result of that ultimately it's manifested in two different experiences of life and one is in which my is within finiteness I only touch my own finiteness and that's what I'm ready to hold on to and that's what I know about and that's where I operate from and one in which I can let go of my finiteness and see myself as a manifestation of infinity and touch that level of reality and relate and my avoid it is from that space so we have all these we have these two differences in the that was the addition of this he spoke how it exists on so many levels just like we spoke in Avoda, that exists in so many levels. So, what does what does this all What's the conclusion of all of this? So, now he goes right. He says, "Sif hey, al pi hamuvon, she klal lesinyan Avoda tzarich lishlof bein shel alamin midas hagbala." What's the conclusion of this? That the purpose of Avoda is not to remain in a finite space, but to go into a place that's beyond your finiteness. Vahainu, what does this mean? What does this mean practically? "Shegam baavoda sheba hagbala, tzarich lishlof nirgash inyan shel alamin hagbala." A person is not always living in infinity, but it means that even in my Avoda, which is limited, because I'm a limited person, there could still be a connection. I could feel that it's rooted in something that's infinite. Al derech inyan hakula bishamai, he gives a very interesting example. We have in Mishnayos in Eidus something called "Kula bishamai, chumra beHillel." Bishamai's leniencies, beHillel's stringencies. Usually, throughout Mishnayos, Bishamai is stringent, beHillel is lenient. That's the klal. And it says in Zohar, Bishamai came from Gevurah, beHillel came from Chesed. But, there's a whole Mishna, there's a whole section of Mishnayos in Maseches Eidus, that these are the leniencies of Bishamai. All the halachos in which Bishamai was actually lenient and beHillel was stringent. Now, how does it come in here for? So, he says, this actually tells you that the Bishamai wasn't stuck. He wasn't predictable. Usually, you would think he's predictable. He's Gevurah, he's Chesed. Okay, he's nice guy, and he's the strict guy. He's always going to find no, no, no. And beHillel will always say yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, Tatty and Mommy, you always know who to go, you know, for the next trip, for the next tablet, you know who to go to. You know Mommy's weaknesses, you know Tatty's weaknesses. You know when the kids start pitting Mommy against Tatty and Tatty against Tatty, and they're brilliant psychology, and parents don't know what hit them. So, it's predictable. Even though the source of his neshama and his avodah, he's like Beis Shammai. What do you mean Beis Shammai? His avodah is betzimtzum. Things are more betzimtzum behachna'ah l'aches, discreetness, modesty, it's all connected. Tzimtzum represents the fact that it's it's it's internal. It's not expansive and unlimited and therefore also people don't see it. This is not stinginess. It's talking about holiness. Hachna'ah l'aches means there's a discreetness, there's a modesty. Everything happens internal. And therefore the person also challenges themselves. Beis Shammai doesn't become disconnected from its his umbilical cord in his avodah that could be nergash the eifen avodah of Beis Hillel. So, there could be kulei Beis Shammai. So, that the limitation doesn't become a trap, it becomes a channel. And that's a very big difference. If it's a trap, so this is where I am and I can't go out of this. If it's a channel, it means you're manifesting infinity through your particular form. That's the idea that Beis Shammai never you can't be predict you can't predict what he's going to hold. No. Now Beis Shammai is open to a new experience where he's exactly like Beis Hillel, he changes. He changes his colors. Why? Cuz even when he doesn't change his colors, he's not defined, he's not stuck by it. This is his avodah, he's manifesting it, but he's completely open to a different avodah. That's why there's no judgmentalism. The Mishnah says that Beis Shammai and Beis Hillel there's 300 arguments between them. That's recorded, but they would never they didn't fight. They were at peace, they would marry each others' families, they would eat by each others, even though they had serious debates in halacha, but they didn't delegitimize the person. How do you do that? How do you disagree without becoming disagreeable? How are you anchored in your own truth without becoming a judgmental person? It seems like a paradox. Non-judgmental people, I understand if you're spineless and you have no principles, right? Then you believe in moral relativism and there's no good and evil, so you could be tolerant cuz you don't believe in anything. You don't even have to tolerate anything. It's not even called tolerance. It's called nothing. Live and the only the only axiom is live and let live. Don't get under my skin, I don't get under your skin. And that's it. I don't even go to a deeper place. But if a person is living with a deep truth, so how could you how how could you liberate yourself from judgmentalism? This is the answer. When the Hagbalah becomes when God becomes defined in a certain limitation, it's very very difficult. But when you always have that link to Lamaylah Magbalah, Lamaylah Magbalah means that even if I'm manifesting this, it doesn't become a prison. So therefore, Beis Shammai himself is very very open. There's a fluidity, there's an openness, and therefore he can appreciate somebody who's very very different. And not only that, sometimes even embrace it when Beis Shammai believes that this is the right thing now. I can even embrace Beis Hillel's perspective. That's the idea of Kulei Beis Shammai. That's how you know it's Kedusha. How do you know it's Kedusha? That the limit, the finiteness is linked to a place of infinity. In relationships, this is very powerful cuz it means a relationship you can only give a person who you are. I can't be something else. I can only be who I am. And yet, when you really really anchored in who you truly are, you can actually be truly open also to another person's experience. You could be present. There's a flexibility, yeah. Not only that, there's also a confidence. It's not only there's a flexibility cuz you're not stuck, there's also a confidence that it's not going to threaten you. Yeah. When your identity is rooted in the mylo magabala, so then it's not going to be lost. So you can really, really appreciate and hold space for something that's very, very different. It's fine. If my myself I'm fragile, you trigger it, I go crazy. Stop triggering me. That's what often happens. Like you can have in relationships, when somebody is in let's say in a difficult space, if I'm anchored in myself and I'm confident, I could just be there. I can have compassion. I could listen. I could offer support in whatever way they need. But if that is triggering my own insecurity, or it's you know, like like in a marriage for example, if a husband needs his wife to always compliment him. Always reassure him, right? Now let's say she's in a bad mood. She's stressed. What happens? He can't be there anymore. So my confidence is very, very limited. And if you feed it, great. And if you don't feed it, I can't do it. I It's like a Oh my god. But if you're rooted in something that's deeper, so you're good. You're present. I know who I am. Now I know who I am, I could just be there for the other person. Right. Understand? It's very, very uh very in in life, we see the difference. It's very, very powerful difference. Uh? What does YouTube say? They disagree? If we go now back to the person's avoida, myso dibra machshava, actions, words, and thoughts. All. ought to be in a way that goes beyond a person's limitations. Come I become a sad take kindness or it's a bizarre divine addition kind of we learned in Halacha you come first. Even your own rather your own father they lose something your own we learned before but I would say this effort make sure that you're the one who's not poor first and then you'll worry about others. But sometimes that I would say that can take you into a mindset of scarcity. It's always me versus others. We call my question but I should send us out of bleak wool if you are we going to get enough shy shy days a whole match less natural cause of the natural but the says when you realize that that actually saves your soul natural so a person could go to a place of unlimitedness not a mindset of scarcity but a mindset of real real sharing real real generosity not because they don't care about themselves because they're they're they're half care they're frivolous they couldn't care less or they're just like careless and apathetic or because they want to show off. No, it comes from a a mindset of somebody that doesn't have a scarcity mindset they have a very very expensive expensive mindset. So it's natural it's like what do you do to save your soul you'll do anything to save your soul. Come I come and tell you to tell me natural the given the natural and there is a the natural and the same is true with everything. You spoke before people who like to pay up a debt to check list I did it boom and there's fixed times that's Halacha and then he says a different way of and you're for your soul for heaven's sake and when it's the gate for your soul there's no measurement it's whatever a person has they give for their soul. What do what's the price? What's the price for your life? What's the price for your soul? What's the price for your child's life? It's not that there's no times for diving. There are times for diving. Like he said before the shakhis is men from my death. But the person goes into a space in which they're tuning into a different experience. When a person realizes this is oxygen, this is some kind of this is life. So then who wants measurements? It's like I'm going to breathe only for the next 30 seconds and I'm not going to breathe. And then 5 minutes later when I'm half dead, I'll breathe again. When a person realizes like the Gamora says I created the It's a horror which is a place of death and I created terror as a spice as a medicine. So then it's the natural thing. It's without limitations. On the contrary, whenever you can have a moment of it, you want more and more and more and more and more of it. You're not looking a checklist to get away with it. Rather you're in tune with something that's the my love my Gabala. Come I can be out of the year of the Tiven. The same is true with love and all. See now he's going through all the levels that he spoke in the beginning of the mind man. From a limited perspective and he's going in how you could go to an unlimited perspective. Your feeling of love is not only because it's good for me, but because it's essentially good. Yeah, like we spoke in relationships. I love you. I love you as long as you benefit me. You enhance me. You I enjoy it and yeah, I'm very excited about it. But tomorrow something else excites me and it's much more powerful. This happens constantly. So as long as you excite me, I'm in. The moment something else excites me more powerful, that's where they're. Why? Cuz the was very, very limited. It was defined from my own place of ego. I didn't really touch your heart. I didn't really feel you. I don't even know what that means. It's very, very hard to experience another person. To experience another person's heartbeat, you have to go outside of your bubble. And it's very scary. It's really, really letting go. Love is letting go. And if I don't want to let go, my love is going to be transactional. And this is a very, very common theme, you know? All these examples you gave us to go out of the world also for the benefit of Of course, it's it's the biggest benefit of a person. It's getting in touch with your own real energy. Cuz a person is not really finite. The soul is infinite. So, when a person is in a finiteness, I'm actually creating a wall and I'm not in touch with my energy. I'm like it's like I pull out the plug. That's what he's saying. The point is not to be infinite. We live in a finite world, but to be connected to your infinity. Be Shammai has a way of looking at things. But he wasn't locked. He wasn't afraid of Be Shammai. And Be Shammai wasn't afraid of Be Shammai. In fact, throughout you see whenever there's a who's quoted first, you remember? Be Shammai. Be Shammai Who wrote the Mishnah? Who came from Hillel? Shouldn't have he said his opinion first? First he say Be Shammai, then you say Be Shammai. So, the says in why is that Be Shammai? Cuz they were very, very they were very pleasant. And they always quoted Be Shammai before they quoted themselves. So, you see in the whole Mishnah, Be Shammai is always quoting Be Shammai before he quotes his own. Why? On the contrary, because that's when you can actually trust the opinion. I can quote with Shamai first. It doesn't mean I agree with Shamai. I don't agree with Shamai. I argue with Shamai and I'll fight for it. But I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of Shamai. Why? Whenever you're plugged into a place of the my limit of Kabbalah, your Kabbalah, your limits are not a trap or a prison, they're a channel. And whenever you're a channel, you can always go back to the source that's undefined and find common ground. You got what I'm saying? So, you're fully present where you are, but you're also connected to a source in which there's common ground. I am. That's That's the idea. So, on all levels, you have this. In a void of Hashem on every level, there could be Kabbalah. Tell you to avoid the Kabbalah of Hashem. My duck is very, very fixed, extremely fixed. I do the right thing. I have a check. I gave the duck. I gave my so whatever it is, but not a penny more. And then there's a different mindset of Sadaka, Kyla shall I say. Says the Ba'al Shem Tov wouldn't go to sleep at night, you know, if he had money in the house. He couldn't sleep. So, people think how did he have menuchas hanefesh? The answer is he's the only one who had menuchas hanefesh. He actually had so much menuchas hanefesh cuz he was completely in flow. Like God wasn't an abstract thing. Like the Ba'al Shem Tov knew if there's money in the house at night, there's something off. I'm I'm not alive. It's like interrupting the oxygen. Where you know It's the Ba'al Shem Tov, I understand. It's you know, you It's but but it teaches us something. It teaches us something. The Ba'al Shem Tov had much more menuchas hanefesh because he had no anxiety. Cuz he really knew I'm I'm I'm living in a flow. Completely ain od milvado. The money God wants me to have I have. If there's extra money at night, I actually can't go to sleep. There's something off. He gave it away. Okay, now I can have a normal sleep. He had much more menuchas hanefesh. Right, that's why he gave it away. He couldn't sleep. There was something disturbing him. That's what it means to be fully fully in flow, fully like it was no game. It's not a game. It's 24/7 mamesh kipshutei. You have to be in touch with your own infinity, yeah. Yesh kochacha, ya. How does this uh How does this translate itself into personal relationships? A husband and a wife. How How does one train oneself to see to see the the the see the maila of what I don't have? How it translates into personal relationships? I think this is the at the core of personal relationships. There could be two types of personal relationships. One is I relate to another person, but I'm I'm I'm afraid, I'm ultimately afraid. What do we mean What do I mean I'm afraid? I I um It's conditional. It's conditional that they make me feel good. And if they're not making good, it interrupts the relationship. So, it's a very fragile relationship. Like I said before, sometimes in a marriage, right? A husband or a wife, they could be fully emotionally present if the other person is in a good mood. The other person is in a good mood, I mean, the husbands know about this a lot. If the other person is in a good mood, your wife is inspired, you come home, she tells you how handsome you are, how brilliant you are, how amazing you are, how it's the she's the luckiest person in the world to be married to a guy like you, and then you're flying high and you give love ad infinitum, okay? The gashmius and the same is true with your kids, right? You come home and your kids kiss you, which means till they're like, you know, teenagers, and you're like the greatest gift to humanity and it's a schuss for them to be with tatty for another 5 minutes and you are the most loving, loving, loving, amazing father in the world. The only problem is that at some point they hit the age called 14, 15, 16 and now being with tatty is like the most embarrassing, stupid, humiliating, ludicrous, immature, weird thing in the world, right? They're not 6 years old anymore. This is where, as we say in English, you got to become a man. You got to become You got to become a superior man. What do we mean? What does it mean you become a man? What does that mean? What does that look like? In ISIS of Schedus, it means you go to a place that's beyond Agbala. In In simple words, like everything that exists on many levels, but the point is if I am in a very, very finite, finite space, practically meaning practically means I'm not anchored in my own infinity. Yeah, I need you to tell me that I'm a good guy. I need you to tell me that I'm a great guy. I need you to tell me that I'm doing well. I don't know myself. I'm not in touch with my own life force and energy. And if you cannot do that for me, I can't be here for you anymore. And therefore tomorrow I look for something that's more exciting, and that's what people are doing all the time. Even if they're loyal in their marriage, they can't be present in their marriage. They need distractions because the distractions are giving them the feedback they want and the marriage is not. So, I'm not talking about people who the next day run to other women. I'm not talking I mean, we know that also also, but even people who don't, they're moral, right? But the phone is a woman, also. And you know, and the phone doesn't make conditions, doesn't get into a bad mood. I mean, sometimes it just, you know, dies, but you put in the plug, boom. With your wife, it's not so easy just put in the plug. To find the charger is not so pushat in marriage. So, what's the eitzah for this? The eitzah for this is we blame the other. Well, you're not this, you're not this, you're not this. There may be some truth to that, but the real thing is I have to go internally. How needy am I? Do you know how to feed yourself? Do you know how to find your own life force and energy? Can you plug in your own plug and be alive? So, now when it comes to your child, yes, your teenager may be struggling or may think he's struggling or may just be a good teenager with an attitude, but you could be present. You don't fall apart cuz your son didn't give you a compliment. You don't fall apart. You don't need your child to be your best friend. You need a friend, go find yourself a friend. You don't need compliments from your child. Your child needs you to be their best friend because they're vulnerable. You don't need your child to be your best friend. That's not what parents need. You don't need that. Go find a best friend for yourself. Can I go pay money and find yourself a friend? They call it a therapist in America. Go buy. It says it says in the can I buy? Don't you Your child's responsibility to have enough They don't They don't need the responsibility of being my father's and mother's friend. It's not their job. But I could only show up in that sense if I am rooted and anchored in a very, very deep space of confidence, which comes from a source that's infinite, which is not going to change because your spouse or your child is having a difficult day. Yeah, your spouse is having a difficult time. So, could you show up? Could you just hold space, be present with an open heart, and you don't have to run away, close your heart, and like I can't deal with this, become normal, and then I'll come back. In the meantime, I'm going to go on my phone, which is going to give me the attention I need for the next hour, so I could feel good about myself. And people could live their entire life in this orbit, in this space. And what is it rooted in? It's rooted in that I'm only in touch with my own finiteness. You're not in touch with yourself. You think it's about the other person. It's nothing with the other person. I am in a prison. I don't know myself. I don't know when you are There's nothing like being connected to your own life force and energy. There will be nobody in the world that will substitute your own life force and energy. Nobody. Cuz your own life force and energy, that's God. That's the God inside of you. If you have that, you have everything. If you don't have that, you got nothing. You're a bottomless pit. It's a cup with a hole. I could pour, your wife and kids could pour like this. I got to tug. I got to tug. Goes right out, right out. Give me more. Give me more. Give me more. Give me more. Give me more. You toifes what I'm saying? You know by your faro? Makes a little sense? Yeah, it's much easier for me to put the blame on you. And it doesn't mean the other person is perfect. The other person needs to do their work. Doesn't mean the other person is true. Doesn't mean my wife is perfect. My children are not perfect. What it means is that my deepest challenge is to find my own light. And the more you do that, the more you'll actually be able to see the other person, and they will be able also to see themselves much better. It's going to help them also. The Shammai didn't just agree with Beis Hillel. It was kullei Beis Shammai. Kullei Beis Shammai. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah. No, but there were few things that they agreed to. For example, you need to like And And there were things that there were Yeah, and there were things that were chummrei Beis Hillel. Beis Hillel was machmir. There was an unpredictability there. Why? Because Beis Shammai was rooted. That's the void. Even if you're in agbala, but you're connected to something with maila and agbala. What about the infamous part where Beis Shammai and Beis Hillel were in the disagreement to the point of physical violence? Yeah. Yeah, that can happen. That's what That's can happen when when we become uh disconnected from the maila and agbala. So, that's what he's saying about ahava and yirah. The ahava is not because it's good for me. El minei shaddai dovor tov be'etzem. Because I see your soul. The moment you could see somebody else's real goodness, that it's that remains. That's the key. If the If the beauty of my child is that they're giving me nachas, or the beauty of my wife is that she's complementing me and satisfying a certain need, etc., or many needs, it's a very very external space. In myself, it's an external space. I'm not seeing you. I'm seeing me. I'm seeing you as part of me. As feeding me. He says, "I have a year means that the dzakhav type of can you see their goodness cuz that's not going to change." Can you really see their soul? Can you appreciate it? Can you value it? And the truth is how can I see somebody else if I never saw myself? I can't. I can't. If I never saw myself, I can't see you. I don't know I don't even know where to look. I don't even know how to look. I don't have those glasses. I only know how to see things in a way that benefit me cuz I don't even know myself. I just know what feels good at the moment. Exactly. You'll only love somebody else as much as you love yourself. Come on now. And it's a very deep thing. This is not conscious. What does it mean to really see the goodness of the other person? To really see it. To know it. To touch it. Now they may be having a difficult day. So what does that do? It triggers compassion, not anger. Your heart stays open. It doesn't close up. Oh, you're having a bad DAY? BOOM, I'M OUT. I'M GOING TO CHINA FOR A WEEK. EMOTIONALLY, I'm in China. That's it. When you sober up, you become normal. You become a normal person. You mature. Call me. I'll come back from China. Maybe. I have to see what's in China. Sometimes there's exciting stuff over there these days. We have to see the tariff you're going to charge to to come back. May not be worth it. But you You know what I'm saying? Why why can't I stay with an open heart? Because you cuz you just triggered the living daylights out of me. Why do you trigger the living daylights out of me? Because my my emotional energy was very frail. In the language of it was I was in a very very limited space. I'm like a I'm like a baby. And if I'm a baby, that's fine, but I should just acknowledge it. You're allowed to be a baby, but just don't don't make believe you're the adult. I'm a baby and I'm very vulnerable. And we have that that part of us. So, that's the of of year that could be of because it's good for me and of because it's better. Once it's better, so now okay. So, now the person is in pain, the person is going through something, the person needs help, whatever it is. So, you could be there. It's not so easy this, right? Do you understand what I'm saying? In a moment of truth, this is not so easy cuz people fall in to their wounded self, which is a self. All wounds create all because what a wound does is it says this is not a safe place, so let me go behind the wall. That's what it does. Whenever I'm living behind the wall because I'm afraid, that means I'm living in a finite mindset. I have no choice. In my mind, I have no choice. If I come out of that, I can be shot. I can be killed. Emotionally, how do I know? Cuz when I was 4 years old, I did come out of it. And I was hurt. So, I go behind the wall. I have a big wall, and I'll only peek out when it's safe. And that wall says okay, if somebody is going to compliment me, somebody's going to tell me why why this year was was was was was excellent, good. Yeah, it is. Okay, good. I can come out of the behind the wall. And if it's going to be the opposite, it's very very dangerous. And we we have we all have this in every person in their own life. So, I I never come out from behind that wall. Especially if people criticize you. Yeah. Yeah, if a person grew up with crazy criticism, it becomes very very difficult. I need to avoid that. I need to avoid that like you avoid the demon. You Yeah, if I really feel I'm not good enough, I really feel I'm undeserving, I really feel inner shame, and this is a very common thing. It's just going to be perpetuated constantly. And now somebody close to you criticizes you, of course you close your heart. They just told you there's a lion in the room. You're you're not safe. Here again, I feel like a shmata unworthy. What do I need this What do I need to be in a relationship with somebody who's reminding me how unworthy I am? My phone doesn't do that. That's why people love being on their phone. You talk to everybody's on their phone. Why? Cuz my phone doesn't tell me I'm unworthy. My phone actually thinks I'm a good guy. It feeds me things that I like. It sends me nice clips of Rabbi Whatever it is, good clips, exciting clips, this clip, that clip, clip, clip, clip. It sends me a joke. If I don't like clean jokes, it does that. Whatever. If I like clean jokes, whatever you want. It feeds you. It feeds your confidence. It boosts your ego. And it says I'm a good guy. Now you're dealing with a real person, suddenly I'm feeling undeserving. Why should I even stay here for another minute? So maybe I'll stay here cuz I'm a good father, but I can't really be here. What is this all based on? This is all based on I'm living behind a wall. I'm living under a rock. And the AI now. AI, yeah. So what's the all of this? The here is it takes a very very very takes the courage of a person to be able to find their own space that There's no such a thing you're undeserving. You just don't know yourself. If you're rooted in infinity like everybody is, you're all So then you're not rooted in limitedness. So you're not frail. But to be able to breathe into this, to be able to live this, to be able to embody this, is very very profound work. So that's an example of where it's not I love you because of how you make me feel, which then tomorrow can be easily easily overturned and upended, but rather I see the person. you really really see the person. And that's going to be there tomorrow even if they're exhausted or they're overwhelmed or they're having their own challenges and struggles. It stays there. Now he says a very interesting part to psychologically it's very very powerful. Listen to this. What if you're in a space of mind where that's all you it's only available for you? That this thing is good for me. I'm not I I I I don't have anything else. Yeah, that's where I am. Even if a person is in a state where I don't feel this part of me. Yeah. All I could feel is I love you because you make me feel very good. He says that's fine. But the you should know that the it is not that it makes you feel good. The is that it's good. It's good essentially. Cuz when you know that, ultimately you won't be hijacked by other loves. If it becomes all about my experience, tomorrow there'll be a much better experience. And I'll just throw you under the bus. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. My heart closes. Next. Why? Cuz I'm living in a very very confined space. When you know at least right now, yeah, I'm in this space that I'm experiencing how good it is for me. I'm not in a place of it. But nonetheless, you know but Nimeus the power is that it's something that's good by etsum. So now tomorrow you won't be hijacked even when this relationship is not as exciting as it was yesterday. If the avos only cuz it's good for me, then you can lose that avo. And he says this is the nikudan avodas Hashem. If God is how it makes me feel, it makes making me feel good. So then tomorrow there's other things that make me feel much better than God. Cuz God, even when he was here, was just a distraction. It was just a way of soothing my wound. If you know at least Nimeus, yeah, it's about my excitement, but Nimeus it's tov by etsum. Then you won't be hijacked tomorrow by an avos sorry, won't fall. Why? So this is this is this is this is the vart. The oilam hazah a clip won't be able to khap you. Ki davar kasha shoo tov by etsum yashma yach balakus. This is the achshav this in one line. Huh? You're not selling me Yeah. This Indian that something is tov by etsum, it's essentially good forever and ever is only godliness. There's nothing else in the world like that. Either it's a continuum of godliness and it's tov or it's a distraction of godliness and then it's not tov by etsum. It just feels good at the moment. And this is a rule for eternity. This rule never change, this rule will never change. This is what it means ain od milvado. There's only one real source of life and goodness and bliss and that's truth, infinite truth. Elokus godliness. He's the source of everything. Hashem is the source of everything. Either you're in touch with that and you're pursuing that, you're pursuing life, you're pursuing goodness. It could be through eating, it could be through exercise. It could be even through making money. It could be in a moment of intimacy. Of course it could be in learning Torah, davening, mitzvah, staka, whatever it is. B'chol d'rachacha da'eihu. But you're not distracting yourself from that. You're going there. That's tov by etsum. Now does it mean right now I'm in a place where all I am is I've stopped my channel for goodness? No, I may be in a place where I'm looking what it's doing for me. It's gishmack. Yes, it's gishmack. It's gishmack. Fine, but just know that the p'nimius it's toive b'etzem. Cuz then tomorrow you'll have that anchor. If not, if it's just about me, so then tomorrow is indifferent me. And the reason is cuz I'm myself in a very, very frail place. I'm not in touch with my own Elokus. So, here is a vart. When you know that the p'nimius it's toive b'etzem, even though right now my experience is that it's toiv li, this is the guarantee that it's eternal. Because you'll never find that in anything else in the world. There's nothing in the world that could claim, "I'm toive b'etzem." All they can say is "I'll make you feel good for 10 minutes." That's what they'll all do. And they do it. And they take a lot of money for it. That's That's their power. That's their only power. And nobody can invent anything that's a substitute for this. It's frustrating for klippa. It's frustrating. That's why it's so desperate. It's always desperate because it doesn't have its own oxygen. It's always has to make believe. It's always investing more money in a Ponzi scheme cuz it doesn't have its own life. In a chinam? In a chinam? So, this is an aqudi. Always need to be connected to this nakuda p'nimius. And it's so true in relationships. A person may acknowledge that I'm in a relationship, but right now it's a painful moment cuz the person can't be here for me. Okay? Yeah, it's it's hard. It was so beautiful last week when there was flow. Now there's no flow, okay? I can acknowledge that. It's a part of me that wants to experience this joy. But I'm not running anywhere. Don't close don't run anywhere. Why not Why are you running anywhere? Because you know the pnimius that there's a tov b'etzem here. There's something here. You know the value of it. You know the goodness of it. And you're not going to get that somewhere else. You could run and be satisfied for an hour, 2 hours, 3 hours, in any way you know how to be satisfied through food, through alcohol, through your computer, through gambling, through this or that, whatever it is. We don't have to get graphic and specific. Everybody knows about their distractions. What they're going to compete with is only feel good. That's it. They won't compete with tov b'etzem. Tov b'etzem means that you come back to it from a thousand angles after a thousand years, it's still going to be good. It's still only going to be the only source of good. And look in life. Think about anything you're pursuing that's not a l'kush. And you'll see its power is that it's making me feel good. That's what it does. In other words, it's distracting me from my misery. That's what it does. And there are a lot of distractions in this world. Some are benign. Some are heinous. Some are moral. Some are immoral. Some seem moral, but they're not moral. Whatever it is, some people do it in a functional way. Some people do it in a dysfunctional way. But the common denominator of all of it is either I'm pursuing real reality, I'm getting closer to real reality, which means I'm getting closer to my own real reality, which is pursuing real reality, or I'm distracting myself from my real reality through things that are not real reality, and that's where I find some satisfaction. It's all substitutions, and they're very powerful. They're very, very powerful substitutions. And it could even be a meal. It could be a breakfast, but it's a distraction. Right now, this food is the most amazing thing in the life, cuz if I take a bite of this piece of cake or this thing, I'm going to be in heavens. For how long? Till I have to go to the bathroom. Usually 20 minutes. Huh? And the same is true with conversations. Right, this conversation, this relationship, it's going to give me something. It's going to sat- What is it going to satisfy? It's going to satisfy the need that I feel right now that this conversation is going to be very exciting for me. Always. Yeah. The chevre ta'am is d'inyana. Huh? It's This is This is serious stuff. This is not uh This is not baby food. Huh? It's like life and death, yeah. What attracts you to the What attracts you to the ta'am ba'etzem is that you're ta'am ba'etzem. What attracts you to the ta'am ba'etzem is that you're ta'am ba'etzem. it attracting? What That's the void. The more you're in touch with your own essential goodness, that you are deserving, the more you will see that. You'll see that in others. Always. More you're in touch with your infinity, you'll see the infinity in others, and then it's in a different space. And the point here is that it doesn't mean I'm always in a space of infinity. I'm just like, you know, this selfless channel even when I'm in a place where what's relevant to me is that you're making me excited, but nonetheless, I know that in me is the power is that it's essentially exciting. It's essentially good. Knowing in a way that it's real, knowing in a way that it's real, knowing like always, you know, das, das, right? Yeah, no matter what the weather is, this is my planet. Mars has not invited me yet. This is my planet. This is my relationship. This is it. It's a heartbeat experience. It's not an intellectual experience. This is a very, very internal internal space of silence, by the way. I'm talking about it like we always talk about things because we're not yet good at silence. We're going to get there by one day. We'll just sit down and be quiet. A mirror? Very much. Yeah. Yeah, like the says everything is a mirror. But it's a very, very deep a very silent experience. And if you're not understanding any of this, it's also fine because there's a lot of distractions to experience this. Ego, but ego today in 2025 is not what it looks like. What's not what it looked like in in in in other times. Ego today is is distractions. Ego today is is anxiety. Ego today is fear. Ego today is I'm so undeserving. Ego today is uh I'm not capable of having real relationships. That's ego. It's not the ego that I'm above everything. It's the ego that I'm below everything. That's the biggest ego. The ego today doesn't look very exciting. The ego today looks like very a lot of bittle, but it's ego. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we once said in a shear, you know, the feeling that you're above people and the feeling that you're inferior to people, it's the same ego. It's more or less the same ego. The feeling that my life I'm so much better than everybody and the life is that my life is cursed and I'm just a curse and I'm just a shmata, it's exactly the same ego. Both tell you that you're not one with Hashem. So, I'm not one with Hashem I'm superior and I'm not one with Hashem look I'm so weird and dysfunctional and I'm such a loser and look at my life and look at the mistakes I made. Both are saying the same thing. You're not one with Hashem, yeah. One says it through I and one says it through not I. SAME THING. I NOT I. I No, kill the I. Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah. Don't kill him. He's fine. Don't make him into a god. He's part of Hashem. That's it. The ego doesn't like those words. You're just part of God. No, no, no, no, no, I'm not. Either I'm a piece of shame and garbage or I'm a piece of I don't know amazing but it's both the same thing. It used to be the ego was one way today it's the other way but it's the same nakuda. Why are they? Every woman This is true about not Every person is created but tell them the image of God. So, when when when when we reflect the image of God in us, this is it. Yeah, the The soul has its unique properties called K'lal Yisrael mamash but the concept exists in the whole world. What Adam was created as a single human being. Everyone should know they all have the same Yeah. The Mishna says in Sanhedrin never Adam Y'chidi. So nobody should tell anybody else that I'm superior to you. Because everybody comes from Adam and Adam was created as one person. Well, that's the job of the Jewish people. That's what we were chosen for, to teach this to the world. But they don't listen. Huh? They don't listen. That's why you have to use F-16s against Iran, yeah. This is a struggle of humanity. The struggle of humanity is the klippah wants to hijack reality. Somebody once said, I actually heard this from a non-Jew. A non-Jewish woman, very, very deep. She lives in England. And she once said something very powerful. She said, "What's anti-Semitism?" She said, "Anti-Semitism is basically Jews hold up to the world a mirror. And the mirror is that the only thing that's tov b'etzem is Elokus. These words, that's the mirror. Ein Od Milvado, it's the frequency of oneness. Anything outside of the frequency of oneness is fake news. That's what they That's the mirror the Jews and they show it to everybody. Consciously, unconsciously, Jews who know what they're doing do it consciously. Jews who don't know what they're doing do it unconsciously. But every Jew does this. They don't even know that they're doing it. From Ma'amad Har Sinai when God said Atah V'chartanu Mikol Ha'amim, from that day Jews are with a mirror like this. They could call it whatever they want, but that's what they're doing. They're holding up this mirror to the entire world to look at themselves and say, "Anything that's not tov b'etzem anything that's not Elokus is not tied by accident. And that's not easy to live with. Really? That's not easy to live with. That requires complete surrender. Wow, that's like oh my God. And therefore all anti-semitism is trying to knock down the mirror. You know when you look at a mirror and you see something ugly, what do you do? Break the mirror. You don't want to go change. You don't want to get a nose job and a face job. It's too expensive. So break the mirror, you won't see it. So it's all anti-semitism. Break the mirror. Break the mirror. Break the mirror. And then of course you break the mirror, but the person is still there and you guys are not there. So break the person. Crush the person. And in some ways they're successful. This Jew gets killed. This Jew gets destroyed. This community. This Holocaust. This pogrom. This this Inquisition. This persecution. This expulsion. It's all the same thing. All the way from the beginning. All the way from the beginning. From Nimrod against Abraham of in all the way Hitler, Stalin, and today the Islamists in action on the side. Hamas, Hezbollah, Iran all over them and all their support. It's the same Nakuda. It just manifests itself different ways. And they're knocking down. Knocking down. Knocking down. And and they're looking for success and logically they should have success. You're talking about a couple of million Jews. Just get rid of them and we're good. We'll be able to be in a free world. But they keep on coming back up, right? Hey, now come over here. They keep on coming back. And the reason they keep on coming back up cuz you can't destroy the frequency of oneness. Like how do you do that? How do you destroy the type of essence? Like this you can't destroy it. You can't destroy a Lakota. So keeps on coming back up. Back. Back. Back. Back. And they push and push and push and push. And the Jew the Jews are still here 5,000 years later. The same Michelle Guy are are still here. Nobody knows how and why and what they're doing and why. Everybody's obsessed with them. Everybody knows that everybody's obsessed with them. They're not even a a match on a football field. It's not even the size of the Israel is the size of New Jersey or Dallas International Airport. Iran is more than a thousand miles away, right? Literally has no connection. They don't have to look that way. They're shite to Israel like I'm shite to New Zealand. Completely not connected, but something obsessive about them that they have to destroy them. And Jews just come back. Come back. Come back. And then she said, "What's Messiah?" What's shat Messiah? Messiah is all the nations are going to look and say, "Okay, we surrender." That's it. Okay, we surrender. That's it. We surrender. That's it. Boom. That's it. That's guala. That's redemption. You see what you really are. The moment you stop fighting what you really are, you're in bliss. But that's why Messiah doesn't begin with the non-Jews. It begins with the Jews. Even New York Times and CNN. That's what And they're Jews. They're Jews. Cuz when Jews are fighting the mirror itself, because they're fighting themselves in the most internal space, right? That's why the worst are the Israelis themselves who hate themselves. Cuz you're like destroying yourself. It's like a cancer within. You're eating up all your healthy cells. But then you surrender and then it's actually, "What was I fighting? Why Why was I fighting this? I was fighting myself." That's the paradox. The paradox is this is the most blissful experience cuz when you say "But it's a close", it means you. It means that that's who you are. So what were you fighting? You were fighting a distraction that was taking you away from you. No, the the clipper tells you that you're not a close. So you're busy satisfying something that you're not. And therefore it never satisfies you. So you always need more more more more more. To crack that open and say, "No, you don't know who you are. You don't need any of this. You're actually so much more powerful. You can be in flow. You're actually divine. You don't need to exist. You're not looking for that. You were never looking for that. You're just channeling transcendence through existence. You don't need existence. You're much greater than existence. But I understand it's hard for clay pot to hear this. You're greater than existence. So let's stay in existence and and and we'll we'll be in control. What we need to convey to ourselves is and this is maybe the the maybe the hardest and the deepest experience is our greatest tragedy is the lack of real self-respect. This is what it's all about. The lack of real self-respect. We always understand religion and Yiddishkeit as taking away self-respect. Like respect God. Stop respecting yourself. Respect your elders. Respect your parents. We don't understand that the deepest the deepest expression here is the expression of self-respect. What does self-respect mean? Self-respect doesn't mean I'm wearing a tie and I won't walk out without a tie and I'm going to make sure that I look perfect and I have the most expensive watch in the world so people could look at me and say says a fine schmucker. And when you look at my car, you're like, "Wow." That's not self-respect. That's usually the opposite of it. Self-respect means this in a kuta. You can really really respect and cherish the fact that your heartbeat is the divine heartbeat in life. You're a conduit. In other words, you're infinite. You manifest infinity in this world. Your love is infinite. Your always infinite. And every moment of life, even a finite moment, is a manifestation of infinity. And therefore, the only thing you really want to pursue is who you really are and what you're really connected to. And the only real essence of reality. That's what you want to pursue. You don't want to pursue anything else. I don't have time to distract myself with things that are fake. Sorry. Don't come to me and sit for the next 45 minutes and share with me lies. I don't I don't I respect myself too much for that. Just like I'm not going to take a piece of food that's going to bring poison into my body. I I like myself too much. In many ways, it's a maybe a funny thing of saying it's it's the ultimate self-love. People don't realize this. What does self-love mean? Self-love means that you actually love yourself. So, you take care of you. Respect yourself. Yeah, I'm not going to take into my body something that's going to destroy me. No, I like myself. I like my life. I like my energy. I like my body. I'm not going to take a pill that's going to put me to sleep for 3 years. I don't want to do that. I want to be awake. I want to live. Why would I go into a conversation right now with somebody for the next 45 minutes that's going to be gossip or slander or talk about stupidity or futility or fakeness? I respect my energy too much. If you're channeling God's energy into the world, respect it for heaven's sake. Pun intended. For heaven's sake. Literally for heaven's sake. Yeah. You're not You're not made of hell. You're made of heaven. So, why should you voluntarily yourself put into put into purgatory? Now, I may not be in that space. I may be in a different space. I may be in a more vulnerable, fragile, animalistic space. Okay? That's part of the mission. But the knowledge, the acknowledgement, that it's toiv be'etzem, Elokus is not just it's feeding you at the moment, it's feeding your ego, it's toiv be'etzem, allows you that even if at the moment I'm still in an ego space, but tomorrow I'm not going to be hijacked by something else. It's such a reich of art. When you know that the pnimius it's toiv be'etzem, even though now all you're in touch with is that you're making me feel good, you're good, because you know that be'etzem that's the power here. To rely on it. You could Yeah, there's something that and tomorrow you could trust and therefore you could trust yourself. You're not going to be hijacked by an avazara cuz that's not going to give it to you. But if you're only in touch with the fact that it's making me feel good, that's it. You don't even know that it's toiv be'etzem, it's you're not in touch with that. Now you're just so vulnerable and you see it in relationships between people. The moment a husband really sees his wife, the moment a wife really sees her husband, checkmate for this relationship. They're good to go. They can deal with every any up and down, all ups and downs. The challenges, they never saw each other. He never saw her. She never saw him. I don't mean physically, I mean of course they saw each other, but I mean saw saw the other person. All I saw was and I can't see anybody else if I never saw myself. All I saw my wife was what she does to me in the positive or the negative, that's it. Because when you never saw you saw yourself, you only see people through the lens of yourself. You don't have a choice. All I know is you make me feel good, you don't make me feel good. And that's why I like you, I don't like you. I never saw you. Because to see the other you have to be free, you have to be relaxed. You have to let go. Wow, see you. I can't. I'm like this. I'm behind the wall. So I just have to see where I'm dodging you. You get it? The moment you see the other The moment you see your children for real, you're good. The moment you see your spouse, you're good. There could be ups and downs. You have to work it through, but you're good. Okay. Everybody have a beautiful, inspiring, and meaningful day. Tomorrow morning we have a woman's class. Tomorrow night I'm traveling to Brazil. I have a nephew's wedding with Is Hashem. If I get my visa if I get my visa approved today or tomorrow, huh? So So I'm going to be away Thursday and Monday. I'll be back here next Tuesday, huh? No, I'm going to be somewhere else for Shabbos. No. We missed you, right? Oh, no we Tomorrow morning we have a woman's class, so I won't be able to continue. Did you say nice things, I hope? It's Ta'amei HaSkavah. Ah. Yesh Yesh MeShisha Oyev. Same Nekudah. If it's Yesh MeShisha Oyev, it goes to Klipah. If it's MeTzad Ayin, then there could be a Yesh also. The Nekudah Pnimis is Ayin. If the Nekudah Pnimis is Ayin, then you're good, cuz even in the Yesh you have an anchor. If the of him is yesh, then tomorrow there's another yesh. It's vulnerable. It's fragile. But this line in the main Kedavra possession at some of the course. You're not going to find it anywhere. You know what I'm saying? Once you know that you you could run run run. Go wherever you want. You could go to the mountains. Go to Mars. It type of some is only the course. Cuz everything everything was created from the course. So either it's reflecting the course and then it's it's it's reflecting the MS or it's being mild on the course. Of course. She David of because he's he's feeling only himself that you're you're you're you're you're giving me a tremendous high. When you say the only thing that's type of some is the course. It begins with the person. The thing in me that's type of some is the course. Nothing else. The fact that this guy likes me and I'm a celebrity, that doesn't make me type of some. It makes me feel good for 25 minutes. It may even be a nice person. Which is good. So you're making money. Fine. Doesn't make you type of some. When a person has a lot of money in the bank, they could suffer from more insecurity than a person who has five pennies. It's nice to have a lot of money when I'm knocking it. You could do a lot of great things. But the point is that's not where your type of some comes from. There's people who are very very successful internally. They're they're they're messes of messes. They're sometimes worse than the a schnauzer who has nothing. Sometimes more more more suffering. Huh? So the type of some of a person is the course in him. And that's not going to change. So it's So what what he's saying here with another person begins with yourself. In other words, I may be right now feeding off something that's making me feel good. But don't think that that's what you're that's that's what you should be that's that's what you should worship. Cuz tomorrow something else is going to make you feel good. So just like we said just like with all the says when you have and the only reason is cuz it's inspiring you that's MS. But tomorrow and won't copy you. Why? Cuz you know that the and that's going to be there tomorrow also even if you're not feeling it. So same issue with yourself. If right now the that I'm experiencing in myself is only because of a certain thing let's say somebody's complimenting me somebody put me on my pedestal somebody gave me a nice thing. But I have to know that's not my so may look at tomorrow I won't be hijacked by something else that will take me away from that. True today I may be in a relationship and it's making me feel very very good and that's what I'm excited about. Okay. But the you want to hold on to is your and then tomorrow you won't be hijacked by other things. You're going to have a very very powerful trajectory and even when you can where to go where to stay. from the word yes it exists. In one says yes I'm a god. Yes I'm a god there is there exists yes means there exists and I'm with my friend it's it's an expression in and it's there. Look at it's it's a word in there.