Maamar V'avarti 5719 #1: How to Get from the Mind to the Heart

I'll come back. I want to come to my wedding, yeah. Amen. Amen. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah. You're so smart. I never knew you're so smart. >> [laughter] >> What do you have to say to China? Not really, don't worry. You could say whatever you want. Uh-huh. That's why. That's why you need it, maybe. >> [snorts] >> If you were brought up that way, I would tell you not to say whatever you want. Ah, and Wilkes. Beautiful. Very special very special place works. Unbelievable. Unbelievable, yeah. Yeah. Okay, good morning everybody. Welcome to everybody. It's been a while. Last year was before Purim, so I missed you. We're back. So we're beginning a new today. In honor of Pesach. >> [snorts] >> Okay, just to announce that Thursday morning I'm not here, so there'll be a sheer Friday morning. Cuz this Thursday I'm not here, so I won't be able to come. So Friday morning will have a sheer at 8:00. We'll continue the minor. Okay, this this class is dedicated by our dear friend Ezra David Philip in honor of all of the brave and amazing soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces in Israel and the Air Force who are guarding and protecting our eternal homeland and our eternal people in the midst of the major war between Israel and America and Iran that began Shabbat Zachor a few days before Purim and is continuing. May protect all of his people and obliterate the Amalekites of our time. We should see a complete victory and a complete redemption. So this minor was said by the Rebbe on the second night of Pesach 1959. As you could see in the headline, which is 19 59 and it begins with a passage of the Haggadah, a passage of the passage by and the commentary of the Haggadah. Now, usually you wouldn't see a mind with this date, the second night of Pesach. Second night of Pesach you have a seder. So, uh but the truth is that the second night of Pesach the Rebbe would say a mind man. And the reason was because the Rebbe then those years he did a seder in the house of his father-in-law, the Rebbe Rayatz. Passed away 9 years earlier. But nonetheless, as long as his mother-in-law was living, his mother-in-law Rebbetzin Chana Medem was alive, which was still a sorry but tough moment of 1970. For 20 years the Rebbe did the seder and all the Yom Tov meals in the house upstairs, the same setup like when the Rebbe Rayatz was there physically. He would sit in the same place on the left side, his brother-in-law sat on the right side. But the Rebbe would not speak there. He would say sometimes in the middle of the meal they'd ask a question, he would answer. But he generally did not speak. He didn't even sit at the head table. So, he sat the same place that he sat before Yahrtzeit of Shin Yud when the Rebbe Rayatz was there. The second night of Pesach, the minute by the Rebbeim was they would give long explanations of the Haggadah, but the Rebbe would not. So, after the seder at around 1:00 in the morning he came out for a farbrengen. >> [laughter] >> Which would go approximately till 4:00 in the morning for a few hours. So, this was after the whole second seder was over. Second seder is a longer seder. So, he would come down, come out into the Beis Medrash, into the zal upstairs, but really it was downstairs cuz the seder was on the second floor of 770 where the Rebbe Rayatz lived. So, he would come down where his room is and then go out to the bazal and farbreng over there. There was also no food at the farbrengen because it was after the afikoman, it was after the seders, so there was no drinking and no food. And that's before my days, but I heard there was also a lot of people sleeping. >> [laughter] >> You know, after a seder. But the Rebbe would farbreng was very, very heavy farbrengens. Long geshmack farbrengens. He he explain the whole Haggadah in those for bringers. He would go through the Haggadah. It was almost like a second seder after the seder. And the Rebbe would often say a mymar. The mymarim of those nights were very fundamental mymarim about Pesach. So that's the mymar here. So it was many It was a whole for bringing with many sichos and a mymar. So you'll see the second night of Pesach almost every year there's a mymar. Was there any extra half for the people who were being heavy to remember? Huh? The last one. There's a few places here they say they don't remember. >> [laughter] >> Talking this mymar, another mymarim. Second night of Pesach it was it was hard, you know, you drink four cups of wine and [snorts] it's quite late. The for bringing to start 1:00 in the morning and the Rebbe's for bringing was not very long. They were long sichos and mymarim. >> Come from their homes after the seder? Whoever wanted. Not everybody came. It wasn't Whoever wanted came. But that's the just the historical context. Yeah. So that's why it says "Little base of Pesach Tof Shin Yud Tes." It would be in the gonem was like a regular for bringing the gonem sichos mymarim. It was even one year that the Rebbe went through the whole Haggadah. He explained Tof Shin Chovav the whole structure of the Haggadah from beginning or throughout the Haggadah. The whole structure. It was a long long sicha. Okay. We learned other years we learned "Kama Ma'alos Tovos Lanu" "Kama Ma'alos Tovos Lanu" was the second night of Pesach Tof Shin Chozain "Dayenu" a mymar on the whole day the piece of "Dayenu" "Kama Ma'alos Tovos" on "Kri'as Yam Suf". >> [clears throat] >> Yeah. Tof Shin Lamed Alef his mother-in-law passed away. Huh? It's not the second night and they didn't come to the talk. Yeah, the second night and they didn't. It was the only the second night there. Yeah. Tof Shin Lamed Alef his mother-in-law passed away. So then the Rebbe went to his own house and did the seder over there after that and did not come back afterwards. So that's what happened. So the mymar begins on the pasuk in Parshas Boi which we say in the Haggadah. Hashem Moshe Rabbeinu, as you could see footnote number one, Boy Yud Beis Yud Beis. Perek Yud Beis, Pasuk Yud Beis in Parshas Boy, chapter 12, verse 12. So, he tells Moshe Rabbeinu about the night of Yetzias Mitzrayim. And after telling him all the instructions about making a seder and eating matzah and eating maror and eating the carbon Pesach and so forth, so he says, "V'havarti b'eretz Mitzrayim balayla hazeh. I'm going to pass through the land of Egypt on this night. >> [clears throat] >> And he continues, "I'm going to strike every firstborn from human to animal, and in all of the gods of Egypt, I'm going to create destruction, ani Hashem." That's the pasuk in Parshas Boy promising what's going to happen on this special night. V'dorshu Hazal on this pasuk, Hazal have a drasha, and this drasha is in the Haggadah. It's called Hazal because the Haggadah comes from the >> [clears throat] >> explanations and the Midrashim of of Hazal, Mechilta, and other Midrash. So, Hazal say in the Haggadah, "V'havarti I'm going to pass. V'goyim er b'eretz Mitzrayim, ani v'lo malach. It's going to be me. V'havarti, I'm going to pass. I'm not going to send an angel. Then he continues, "V'hikeisi kol b'chor, I'm going to strike every b'chor. Ani v'lo saraf, it's going to be me. I'm going to do it, not a fiery angel. And then he continues, "U'v'chol elohei Mitzrayim eseh shvatim, I'm going to create destruction in the gods of Mitzrayim. Ani v'lo shaliach, ani v'lo yashliach. Me and not a malach, me and not a saraf, me and not a shaliach." And then he finishes, "Ani Hashem, ani Hashem, ani v'lo acher. Me and nobody else." So, ani v'lo malach, ani v'lo saraf, ani v'lo shaliach, ani v'lo acher. That's how Hazal darshan this pasuk, that each time he says, "I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it." Four times and then ani, it's all me, ani v'lo acher. Sh'mizeh muvan, what are they trying to bring out from this? Yeah, I'm going to do it. I'm not sending angels. I'm not sending shluchim. I'm not sending seraphim. I'm not sending anybody. This is not something I delegate. This is going to be something I need. No. This means that at night you already had the entire intensity, the entire power of the redemption till the revelation of him himself, like we say later in the Haggadah, Why do we eat this matzah? He says it couldn't get it did not become fermented. It did not become chametz. Like hispik. Until Hashem himself Everything is from Hashem. But there could be a malach, there could be a saraf, there could be a shaliach, there could be an acher. It's also from him, but it's the way it's manifested through different garments, through different expressions, through different lights, through different through different shluchim, like a shaliach. You send a shaliach. It's also you. Shluchim shluchim kamasa. But it's still coming through levushim. It's coming through garments. And here he says, "No, it's ani, it's ani. Ani v'lo saruf, ani v'lo malach, ani v'lo shaliach, ani v'lo acher." This is what we say in the Haggadah. So, we see already that at night, this is all by layla hazah, at night you already have the whole toikef hag'ulah b'chveideiha b'atzmo without shluchim, without seraphim, without malachim, without anybody else. What needs to be understood is the l'choid L'choid, this is a contradiction to what it says later. This is the beginning of the parsha parsha pasuk Later in pasuk mem aleph he tells Moshe Rabbeinu Actually, he doesn't tell him. It's actually the story that vayi that the end of all their time in Eretz Yisrael vayi b'etzem hayom hazeh, in the middle of the day of the 15th of Nissan yatzei kol tzivos Hashem me'Eretz Mitzrayim. That's when all of the troops of Hashem left Mitzrayim. In the first case, it's mashma that already at night all the action happened. It couldn't get any better. Nigla and not even through shluchim. Later we see that no, they had to wait till the day. He had to my yom ha'zeh. The truth is that the whole thing seems contradictory. What what's really the question? It's not some little technical question. It says va'yi betze my yom ha'zeh pasuk mem alef. Perek bet pasuk mem alef. In the middle of the day they all went out of Mitzrayim. The next pasuk says leil shimmurim hu la'Hashem le'hotzi Mitzrayim. Hu ha'laila zeh la'Hashem shimmurim Yisrael mi'Mitzrayim. He goes back to the night. He says the night this is the night that Hashem was waiting to take them out of Mitzrayim. This is the night leil shimmurim the day that he was waiting to take them out for generations. So first later earlier said it's all the middle of the night. Then he says by day they they took him out of Mitzrayim. Then the next pasuk says it's this night that he was waiting to take them out. And then at the end of the whole story pasuk nun alef he finishes the story va'yi betze my yom ha'zeh again in the middle of the day he took them out of Mitzrayim. On the father Shulchan Aruch, so there's a Shulchan Aruch on this. The Shulchan Aruch says all the way down pasuk nun alef. She'lo yatzu ba'laila chulam min ha'aretz ela she'masar lahem reshut latzeis va'yivnei chorin. Aval betze my yom ha'zeh hotzi'am mi'kol Mitzrayim. So the Shulchan Aruch says that that's what the Torah is trying to say. It says I'm going to pass through this night. It says va'yi betze my yom ha'zeh they went out. And then you have a whole pasuk that leil shimmurim this is the night when Hashem waited to take them out. And then you finish va'yi betze my yom ha'zeh hotzi Hashem Yisrael mi'Mitzrayim hotzi'am. Because what the pasuk is saying you could make a mistake. And when you see what how great the night is you could think it all happened at night. So the Shulchan Aruch says no. Don't think at night they went all went out of Mitzrayim. He gave them reshut to go out. But that means that they became benei chorin. The fact that you have permission to leave They were liberated. They were emancipated. Pharaoh said leave and he got up in the middle of the night and said go go go, but nobody they didn't leave yet. It was the middle of the night. But they were ready at a different status. So yeah, so it's not a stupid that Ramban says at night it was the night he anticipated to redeem them because they were redeemed people because they could go. Potentially they can go. They weren't enslaved. They had possible asylum. Yeah, like a person you could leave your house doesn't mean you're going to leave your house, but you could leave. You're not stuck. So I think when the Ramban means that lots of people left in the land of Egypt >> [snorts] >> It's interesting why he has the word kulam. But there's nobody went out, right? Unless there were a few people who >> [laughter] >> Nobody. Huh? I mean Huh? I was wondering why it writes the word kulam. Nobody went out at night. Huh? You're saying nobody. Okay. Okay, so kulam means nobody went out. All of them from all of them nobody went out. But he does have the permission to leave at night all of them from all of them in Egypt. And in the middle of the day that's when they actually physically left the borders of Egypt. And that's why he uses the word gvul because the night before they were also free, but they were still in the borders of Egypt physically, geographically. The day was that geographically they physically relocated from the gvul of Egypt. That's what the Ramban explains in these verses. So there's two different events at night and by day. The Gemara says it says that Moshe Pharaoh woke up in the middle of the night and he said it says Layla. He went out in the middle of the night and called Moshiach and get out get out. So the Gemara explains that the began with meaning he gave them permission like the Ramban says. So it started. You have permission. But I know but what does this mean to So we see from this the main redemption happened by day. That's when it actually happened. They were actually redeemed. But it started at night in the sense that they got permission. When we call it but nonetheless you already see in the that the had the whole but nonetheless there was still a second phase. But from this whole what do you get from all of this? So you say yeah okay so you you make you make solemn bias between the fine. But now we go back to the of everything. So yeah but it was this it was this. But now you have a question why did it happen this way? If the happened to be by day so by day. If the was by night you could have done it by night. You say people don't leave at night but over there the whole system was different. I mean the whole thing was completely supernatural miraculous. So we understand that in there's two different in them. It's not technical. He gave permission they didn't manage to leave. The vision of has two in them. There's leaving by night and there's leaving by day. That's the idea. And that's why it's it's it's complex in the that the Ramban makes it technically workable. But when you read the you see there's a by night and there's a by day because in there's two there's two there's two there's two in them. You see this also in the midst of remembering the time. The Mishna says in And generation a person needs to imagine himself as going out of Sheyash bazay bay zinyanum. There's two things I like the mission says in my skin it's my name by the by this. The mission says in we also say in that I'm a lot of Azaria right I like 70 years old and I still don't know the source of mentioning but I was been taught. That it says you may call you may call you may call you may call you may call you. Ben Zoma says it says in you should remember the day that you left call you may call you may call you may call you may call you. So he says you may call you may call you may call you may call you may call you may call So here again you could just say okay so it's an extra word to teach you another another limit. The says how good for it's because you it's my name had two had two of them. There was the you understand it's not them. I shall want you to mention my name twice so he puts in an extra word. It could have also been written in a different way. Because there's two in Yanam in there's the that happened by day and there's the that happened at night. And therefore we mention by day and by night. By day we mention the of day. By night we remember the of night and that's two one is one is one is one is one is But but sort of love and now we need to begin to say love. But now the question is what are these two in Yanam? Technically there was permission and then there was the actual leaving. On a deeper level it means there were two phases in one happened at night one happened at day. The way it it formatted itself wasn't that way, but essentially there were two different inyanim. They didn't happen at the same time or the same inyan. Well, Havens uh to understand this in the class in Yitzias Mitzrayim. In order to understand this, one needs to first understand the whole inyan of Yitzias Mitzrayim. Once you understand the inyan of Yitzias Mitzrayim, you go back to the source. And then automatically you'll understand that there's two inyanim, there's night The inyan you do ah so you have Yitzias Mitzrayim on a physical level, everybody knows what that is. They were stuck in Egypt, they were slaves, and they were emancipated. That's not what he has to explain here in this pasuk. That's traditional mikveh you learn through Chumash Masei Bnei Yisrael and you know the story of Yitzias Mitzrayim. But the maamar is going to explain Yitzias Mitzrayim on an internally, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically in the in the in the story of the soul. Like every story in Torah that parallels and exists on many different dimensions, on the physical level, on the internal level, and then it's also concrete in the physical world. The inyan you do what's known This comes from the Arizal. This is a whole article of the Arizal. The Arizal has a sefer Likutei Torah. So, Parshas Vayeishev, which is where the story of Mitzrayim begins, cuz that's when Yosef is sold into Egypt. So, in Likutei Torah the Arizal Parshas Vayeishev and Alter Rebbe in Torah Ohr Parshas Va'eira he builds two maamarim on this Arizal. A maamar in a beer. And this is uh this is what the Arizal teaches about Mitzrayim or inyan Meitzar HaGaron. You see in the footnote 11 he brings the the the Maamar Makif. The Arizal says the word Mitzrayim represents a part of the body called Meitzar HaGaron. The word Meitzar, which is like Mitzrayim, means constraints. Like the word tzar in Hebrew is tzar is narrow, stan- stingy. Tzar ayin is stingy. Makom tzar is a very narrow space. Huh? Constriction, yeah. So, the word metsar even even in bar metzrah. Bar metzrah means the person who's on my border. So, the border which constricts your territory is called metzakh metzakh guvul. Min hametzar karasiko anan means from a constricted place. Huh? What? Tsarus, yeah, very good. Yeah. Gesher tsarmayot, yeah, yeah, yeah. A very narrow bridge, exactly. So, the Arizal says Mitzrayim means that. Even though it's a place called Egypt, but the shoresh of the word is it's a place of Mitzrayim. Mitzrayim is exactly the same word like Mitzrayim, which means a place of constraint. Where you're confined, where you're limited, you're stuck, you can't get out, which is what galus is. But he says one word, it's metzakh hagaron. Garon is the throat. The throat and the neck, the passageway from the that from the head from the from the brain to the rest of the body. What's the connection? Hagaron makom hatsar ben rosh laguf. The garon, which means the throat, the neck, that area, is a makom tsar. It's the narrow passageway to get from the rosh to the guf. If you look at the body, sha'arei makom rosh makom guf makom rakhav. The head is more expansive. It's more broad, certainly the body. Cuz the head is still narrow relative to the body. But once you graduate from the neck and the throat, the body expands. It's a makom rakhav, all the way, the torso, the chest, the heart, all the way down. Um makom hagaron shehu mafsik ben rosh laguf makom tsar. What's the narrowest passageway in the body? The makom tsar, that is the garon, the throat. Why is it that way? You say biologically it works out, but like everything in biology, it's reflective of the spiritual energy. So, why is it that the rosh, the head itself is rachav? Then the garon goes tzar, the throat is tzar, it's more narrow. And then it goes into expansion, even more expansion than the head and the body. What's the inyan of this? But what Arizal says that's what Mitzrayim represents in the person's life, the metzar hagaron. What does this mean? K'shem she'bevevarei haguf, it's not just in the limbs of the body, meaning in the anatomy, you came the right day. You came on the right day. It's not only in the anatomy of the body, I'm saying after 7 years you show up. Punkt. Biology. Exactly. Just like it's in devevarei haguf, it's not just an issue of anatomy, keinu gam b'kochos hanefesh. It's connected to the faculties of the soul. In other words, you could just say it's a it's a fact of anatomy. Like, what do you want? This is how the body is built. It works out that way. But it's also b'kochos hanefesh. It's in the faculties of the soul. The heymech d'las mochin sh'b'rosh hem kelim l'koach seichel chachma u'vinah v'daas. D'las mochin sh'b'rosh means there's three the brain the brain is such a complex organ. You even the word complex doesn't really define it. Complex beyond the beyond it's beyond description. It's it's miraculous. Right? The two 3 lbs of the little jello called the brain situated in our skull contains the entire the entire nervous system and the entire experience of consciousness and all the life of the body. But the Zohar has an expression that this d'las mochin sh'b'rosh there's three central aspects of the brain hem kelim l'koach seichel chachma u'vinah v'daas. Which are kelim, they're physical channels, vessels for three aspects of seichel, three aspects of cognitive of cognitive awareness. One is called chachma, one is binah, one is dust. Is the part of the brain that's connected to the brain? The part of the brain that's connected to be not and there's a part of the brain that's connected to dust. And it's physical sections. That's why it says there's three physical sections in the in the brain. They are the place the physical space where these capabilities these faculties primarily function the faculty of the faculty of the faculty of dust. The with the desire calls the king of the body interesting he calls the way the king of the body will see why. The should think the is the king but he calls it the way the who clearly admitted. The heart is a the vessel for the which means the emotional experience of the person. So three sections of the brain are for sale dust. Dust are generally three different cognitive faculties connected to the right part of the brain is more about intuition. Like is it's the epiphany it's the When you have the seminal point that shines into your brain you have like a new awareness being on the left side is more analytical it's scrutinizing it's explaining it's developing the inside the epiphany the seminal point into ideas it's very structured being is all about structure is creative is inspiration being is perspiration is like a flash and then being is development and dust is application integration. Dust is personalization of it but Adam I don't like it says in Tanya Adam which means Adam connected to intimacy. Intellectual intimacy if you want because it could remain more abstract their ideas their insights and daas is already application, personal application. That's connected to the brain. The heart, he says, is called the king, it's the place of middos. The actual expe- experience of it, the embodiment of it, the emotional reaction that you're feeling it, you're feeling it. Actually, your heart change, you could feel the difference in your heart, in your gut, in in in in your blood. There's There's There's There is your heart opens, your heart closes, your heart is expansive, you're breathing differently. Huh? The heart rate increases, yeah, your muscle structure. This is This is >> [clears throat] >> middos is the internal emotional experience of it, not understanding of it. That's primarily in the laiv in the heart. It's a kayli for the middos. The seider is Usually, the seider is that his beinun is beseichel, meditation or contemplation. Deep awareness of seichel misoidenes, and through that, you have an arousal, a creation, a seiderness of the middos. If somebody meditates in their mind or contemplates in their mind, but they have a very clear bright awareness that this thing in front of me is toiv, it's good. This thing doesn't necessarily mean a physical thing. It could mean a person, it could mean a truth. But this reality, this reality, toiv lefonav, it's good. It's amazing, it's incredible, it's beneficial. Or lehepech, on the contrary, it's dangerous, it's it's it's harmful, it's scary, it's overwhelming, it's it's negative. Our middos respond. There is an arousal, an emotional arousal that responds to that, either in love or the opposite, in fear. Either I'm attracted or I reject. Either I want to get closer or I want to get further. Now, obviously it's manifested in so many different ways, but there's no emotion that is not preceded by an awareness. I may not always realize it cuz I'm just emotionally reacting cuz my body works very, very fast. The system works very, very fast. Sometimes it works very slow, sometimes it works very fast. But the fact is that the emotion is always preceded by some label. There was some some some definition, some explanation, some definition of what the reality is. And the middos are responding to that. My emotional self is responding to some form of awareness. That's why he says in Tanya that mochin are considered the parents of the middos. The Alter Rebbe says in Tanya Perek Gimmel based on Sefer Yetzirah that chochma, bina, and daas are called mothers, imos. And the middos are called children, toldos. A child is not born in a vacuum. A child needs to come from the genetic pool of the parents, from the seed, from the egg. It's It's not from nowhere. The child takes it maybe to the next level. Yafah koach ben koach av. The middos become much more powerful than the parents. That's true. We're going to see that, too. But there's there's some source of it. So, I may be emotional a very, very emotional, but there there's an awareness there. Now, that awareness is the source. Awareness itself though has many levels. There's the mother and there's the father. Right, if you look at the child, you could right away see the connection with the mother. The child came out of the mother. But it didn't start only with that. There's also a father, but the father may be very, very far. The far The father may be in China now. But you There's no The fact is that this child came from the mother and also from the father. So, in awareness, too, you know, how far do you go to see where the middos came from? It's not always so visible. A mother and a child is more visible. Even there at some point there's a separation and you may not know the mother. But with the father, even initially there's a distance. But it doesn't mean it's not connected. It just means the connection is much more nebulous. It's a little seed. But that seed has half the genetic coding of the entire organism of the child. It's not a small thing. So there's no meter ever existed in history that doesn't have a father and a mother. To be able to identify what is what what what is the there's an awareness that had to precede the some say for that had to precede this reaction. Now you say, "No, no, no, this is reality." Fine. This is reality. I get it. For me this is reality and therefore I'm responding this way. Either in a very very powerfully positive way or in a very powerful negative way. Or even disconnect. But whatever the meter is, it's coming from from from a source. All all all self Why is this important? It's not some to give a maps. Because all growth is based on this. If I'm not ready to look at the mother and father of the child, I'm stuck in a particular format. If I'm not asking what is the the thought process that preceded this emotional reaction, I can never deal with it. It's just it is. So I remain stuck in that mode. I can never get out of it. I can never graduate. The moment you could start looking Wow. You had a very very strong emotional reaction. Say a negative reaction. Right. But what happened 3 seconds before that? I don't know what happened. It just happened. It didn't just happen. There's a father and a mother. Let's talk to them. We don't go to the I'm not on speaking terms with my father and mother. Okay, so maybe let's bring them into the house. Maybe you should start being on speaking terms with your mother and father. So my father is not in my master. I mean metaphorically, whatever that means emotionally. Okay. So let's say you scare and then and talk to it. But this is this is this is a process which allows awareness of what's happening inside. It's not some not some pure chaos. It may feel like chaos. There's no question cuz me this is a very very intense. Say hello is all about categories, you know, chat GPT. >> [laughter] >> With me this is not not chat GPT. It doesn't stop chatting, but it's in a different way. It could be it could be very very intense. That's what me this are. They're they're emotional. Nonetheless, every child comes from a source. Yeah, clear, yeah. I'm sure I'm going to say hello me this way they made sure I got it. Here comes a fascinating beer. The flow from say hello me this don't take it for granted. It goes through the major regard. In other words, it goes through a transformation through the major regard and through the the Huh? Right. I was just thinking. When you talk about the Strait of Hormuz, right? How vulnerable it is. And if it's blocked, the whole world economy, what's happening out with Iran, the whole world economy could become paralyzed. Yeah. Because there's a straight and you don't have 20 straight. You don't have 20 highways. You have one straight. You have one path. And if that becomes blocked, this is it. This is the passageway. Huh? Exactly. We know what happens. You have to list guy. See this this process from say hello to me this the way Hashem created the human soul is it goes through the major regard. I say hello me this ain't a better than the Allah. What do we mean? It's not like in Jewish philosophy and the Kabbalah and philosophy something called Allah Allah. Don't think it's Allah Allah. What's Allah Allah? You know what il of all means? Il means an antecedent. All of all means the result of the antecedent. For example, an apple tree, an apple is the all of a seed. The seed is the il of which produces the tree which produces apples. Which will produce a new seed. Right? The apple will produce a new seed which will be the all of the apple and then that seed will become the il of of the next apple tree. Everything in life is il of all. Cause and effect. >> Cause and effect, yeah. The pre- The antecedent it's called, the source, the il and the all of all is what's all of all, what what's born, what emerges from the il. And then that becomes Yeah. I'm an all of all of my father and mother, but my mother and father are an all of of their parents and so on all the way back to Adam and Hava, the first il of all. And that's the process of things. So, you can always go back. This all of all came from this il, but that il came from a different one and different one different different one. And of course it goes through transformations, but you can always identify the properties of the last all of all in the first il. Right? Never from the apple of a seed from the seed of an apple you'll never have an orange tree. You'll have a lot of different types of apple trees because of things that happen, but from the seed of a father and a mother, a human, you're not going to have a horse. Even though some of us were called ferd in in in Yeshiva, right? We should speak to your teachers after school. This he says, "Don't think seichel and middos are regular il of all, it's not." Sha il atzmo nasas metzius all. By il and all, the il itself is morphed into the all. The il develops into the all. The source develops. Just like the genetic The genetic code of a father and a mother develops into the child. Or the seed Actually, a seed contains in it the plant. It has to develop, of course, and it could take a long time. But, the illa becomes the olla. Haynu shas Don't think that the seichel itself becomes middos. It goes into the next stage. That's not the pshat. Shari ain't over again. That's not the case. It's not a simple process. There actually has to be an interruption of the original light. And that's why you have this whole metzora garden, the straight from where the seichel goes through because in the metzora garden, which we said is the narrowest part of the body, the world of seichel gets interrupted. It ceases to be. He's going to explain what this means. And then something new happens. Middos. So, it's not a regular illa of a olla where it's just a transmission where the illa becomes the olla and the olla becomes the next illa and it becomes and it goes and it goes. The snowball just expands and expands, but it's actually an interruption and a new reality. That's why you see practically she has half sick as mana. There could be an interruption of time. Time whether physical time or emotional time, meaning it's not a natural transformation between his brain and his seichel and his spinal cord and his middos. It's not but kiffus. But kiffus means it's not take off. This comes and this comes right after. So, partially it could take a lot of time between the two or some time. And time can also mean that a person can have a lot of a lot of seichel and it doesn't go into middos. It's not a simple simple graduation from here to here. The reason is cuz really you have to understand it's not a regular illa of a olla. Illa of a olla, the illa identifies the properties in the illa, you can identify all the properties of the olla. And in the olla, you can identify the source of it in the illa. Even though it may have taken thousands of years between the first apple apple and today's apple tree but you could still identify it especially with a microscope you could see in the seed you could see everything that's coming from the seed it could take many years that's true but it's a ham shack he says say hello and midas are two half of the two opposites what do you mean the two opposites why you just said that every meter came from say so it's a parent so it's not opposites but the Indian is an opposite Indian why the shot is like this the definition of midas is his structures his spilers and her gosh at his structures means when you say somebody there's a lot of his structures the word regish passion his spilers means from the word pool and you're moved you're affected and her gosh at means you feel yourself there's a her gosh at there's a self-consciousness there that's the definition making in essence are creators there's a coldness there's a messiness which is a calmness and bitter at smile it's self-forgetfulness what does this mean what this means is the definition of midas is I exist that's the definition of midas that's why it's not so comfortable for everybody definition of midas is I my existence actually matters it's a serious existence it's so serious that I actually feel and I even respect it I feel I love you I know today in text you could write I love you without the word I but in reality there's no love without I who loves you the robot I I I Tila who who loves you artificial intelligence we write love you but really it's I what gives the love power is that there's an I behind it if a person does not feel themselves here we're talking about feeling yourself in a good way. We're still going to see the too He's going to explain the struggle with this. But if you don't feel yourself in a good way, if there's no a deep awareness of of self-value, self-respect, there's no of this. That's why people who hate themselves in a deep place can't really love other people. Not because they don't want to. But because it's a manifestation of your own experience, of your own feeling. I don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but this is very very serious stuff. The after come here means you love your friend like yourself. So it's not just love him as much as yourself, you narcissist. >> [laughter] >> That's what it sounds like. Love him like you love yourself. Don't be selfish. It's also saying something much more subtle. Right, Dr. Allah says the after come here like you love yourself, it's going to actually be an expression of how much you love yourself. It's going to be like you love yourself. Cuz that's what it's going to be. That is what I'm giving you. What am I giving you when I'm giving you love? What am I giving you? If I feel it deep down, maybe subconsciously, I'm an inconsequential, worthless, degenerate matter, so who's really loving you? An inconsequential, degenerate, worthless matter. So how does that feel to be loved by a matter? Tell me. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, so that's what I'm giving you. You know what? We spoke in a sheer the other day, right? If I have $100 in my pocket, I can give you $100. If I don't have $100 in my pocket, I could want to give it to you, but I can't give it to you. You may want to give your kid a million dollars. It's beautiful, you should. But if I don't have it, if I have a nickel, I can give you a nickel. So that's true with money. You think it's not true with emotions? >> [laughter] >> With money, everybody understands I can't give you what I don't have in my bag. I can't, I would like to. I can't. I can give I can give you a tissue if I have a tissue. If I don't have tissues, I can't give you tissues. So with emotions, you think it's any different? With a tissue it's that way, with money, with emotions it's a billion times more. Much deeper. It's easier with money. Exactly. Money you could steal. Very good. Emotions you can't steal, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Somebody write checks. So, he says, "At least with checks, it could look like you're giving something." And the truth is with love, it can also look like. Yeah. I could say the words, and there may even be good intentions. But the experience of it, I can't give you if I don't have. Huh? Huh? So, this is important stuff. That's why he says midos is based on hergesh atzmi. Right? I I'm feeling I'm really feeling it. If I don't feel myself, if I'm disassociated with myself, if I'm just loving cuz I want to be a tzaddik, it's a beautiful thing. And the truth is we we some of us grew up that way. We You love, and you love cuz you want to be a good person. But you never learned the experience of love inside yourself. You never felt it. You don't even know what it is. It's a science. It's not an experience. It's something on paper. So, I could behave that way, which is in itself a very special thing to do the right thing, you know, to do loving things, to do [snorts] a favor, to to to to be nice on paper, which is a big thing, obviously. It You know, But nonetheless, the middah of it, the experience of it, may completely not be there. What's worse is I may not even know that there's such a reality. I may not even know. I may only know of the of the of the reality on paper. I may not even experience cuz I don't have experience of it. So, that's why he says midos is based on three things. Midos are hishtakshus, hispaylus, and hergesh atzmi. I don't know I wouldn't call them three different things, but they're three He's being out three points. They're all connected. Hishtakshus means you possibly histrakchus. You're emotionally moved. You're not the same like before. You're histrakchus. Histrakchus means you say this person is in histrakchus. Hispyalus is a connected with hispyalus comes from the word pooleh. You're being You're affected. You're not static. Yeah, you're not robotic. You're affected. You're actually affected. That That is midas in in simple English, it's a vulnerable space to be in. You're You're being affected. You're in a vulnerable space. You're not detached. It's not like nobody can get to me. No, you could get to me. HISPYALUS MEANS YOU GOT to me. You got to me. Right, this tissue I got to the tissue. I got it. I got them. I did a pooleh in him. Midas is somebody got to you. It's affecting you in a very real way. And by the way, that's why it's so dangerous for many of us. Because you have to be safe. If I want to be safe, what's one of the greatest strategies in life? Not to go to midas. You're always safe. You remain a computer. The computer monitors. Yes, no, yes, no. Everything is calculated. That's not midas. Midas is hispyalus, histrakchus, and it's all based on hagashot me. Of course I feel myself. If I wouldn't feel myself, I wouldn't be able to have a midah. How can I feel love or awe or reverence or a deep attraction what whatever the feeling is if I don't feel myself? If I'm an emotional coma, if I'm in an emotional coma, I can't have midas. What's the union of seichel? What's the union of seichel? Right? You may say to somebody, you know, you're too emotional, you're not going to understand what I'm saying. You're not going to say you're too emotional, therefore you can't feel what I'm saying. I need you to be emotional to feel what I'm saying. The union of seichel is as it's forget chiyurus. For seichel to be function to be functional, if I'm completely overwhelmed emotionally? The seichel is not going to function. Seichel is a function of kirus. Kirus means coldness. Mesinus is relaxation. What do I mean relaxation? Not that middos are not relaxed. Middos can be Middos doesn't mean I'm unregulated. Sometimes the middos are the deepest regulation. But mesinus means that the person is actually in a much more uh poised What's the word? In a much more uh controlled position. Open to atzmus. Seichel is about bitul atzmus. Meaning it's not negaya what I'm feeling. We're talking about a truth. We're talking about an idea. That's the idea. Middos, you're not talking about an idea. You're talking about your experience. I'm not talking about the idea. I'm talking about my own experience. Seichel is not about my experience. Seichel is the inyan itself. That's why it's bitul atzmus. And even though seichel also needs a ratzon, you want to be interested. If you don't want to understand, you're not going to understand. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, I don't understand. Well, do you want to understand? If somebody is not ready to understand, they can have a very good head and a good brain and open brain, it's not going to work. So that means you always have to have a desire. And ratzon is the chinin of middos. I want. He says that's true. This ratzon is before you start the process of conceiving understanding. In order for your koach seichel to be open, TO BE FERTILE, you need ratzon. Like starting the engine. But the hasaga itself, comprehending, is dafka in the place of There's a coldness. Yeah. There's a relaxation. There's a bitul. Meaning I'm completely trying to tune in to what the awareness is, not to where I am in the process. If in middle of comprehension, you're only experiencing yourself, you will not understand the inyan. There needs to be some form of transcendence, some form of Put this on pause, and let's try to explain the inyan. We'll get back to you. If it's only, "But I'm not feeling, but I'm feeling, I'm feeling." Emotionally, if you're there, you're not going to be able to understand any inyan outside of yourself. And that is sometimes very hard. I can't Vice versa, too, yeah. It's like people that are listening in order to answer. They're really thinking about Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's why if you're in the midst of an intense experience, an intense emotion, it's very hard to hear something else. You have to understand, cuz it's a whole different stance. It's a different stance. It's a different state of consciousness. Yeah. You have, for example, in in Allah, you have the concept of shoykhut. That if a judge takes shoykhut, it disqualifies all of his psakim. Why? In this inyan. A shoykhut ya'avor. Why? The answer is poshut. He's blinded. He's in a different place now. Because the self-interest, uh? He contaminated the seichel with the inyan. Yeah. He contaminated the seichel. He can't be any more objective. Seichel requires a certain objectivity, not in a negative way, in a very beautiful way. What does objectivity mean? Objectivity mean that I'm actually trying to understand something. Now, how is it related to me? We'll see how it's related to me. But right now, if all I'm busy is my own experience, I will never be able to tune into the truth of the inyan. So, it's a it's a whole different stance. So it's not a regular Allah. The seed becomes the apple where the apple is just a manifestation of the seed. Here it's two opposites. Say it requires self-forgetfulness, self-transcendence. This is all about self-experience, self-assertion, self-presence. It's a whole different thing. Say what's it all about? The the less I MEAN THIS WITHOUT I THERE'S NO SUCH thing as this. THERE'S NO SUCH A THING as this without I. And that's why people who have learned that the I is evil have a very deep problem with this. They still have this but they don't know how they they can't respect their business. They don't they have no relationship with it. And that's why as we will see a person could succeed in the world of say amazingly and fail horribly in the world of this. Usually if you successful you're all of them will also be successful but not here. Here for cat. Success in the world of say could mean dismal failure in the world of this. Because the skill set that's required for say is the opposite skill set that's required for this. That's why sometimes a person grows up in an environment where say is glorified. Ideas, intellectual success, intellectual skills, formulas, methodology and they really really excel and in the world of this it's a disaster ship of disasters like marriage. >> [laughter] >> In your Shiva in your Shiva he was on top of the game. The Russia Shiva was in all of this guy. Pack of say it was amazing. In the world of this the skill set of this is a whole different opposite is opposite universe. Almost an opposite universe. It's it's it's [laughter] interesting. Is that why it says all my shadow with thought first and then he saw that it's not going to be sustained. So it's like the it's like a process of thought first and seeing and then it comes to midas. It could be. It could be. It could be. So how do you get from one to the other? Yeah. So the truth is we just like I don't know. It just is supposed to happen. He says but it's not so partial. There's a hefsik. A hefsik means one world has to end for a new world to begin. Huh? Between one yesh and another yesh between one yesh, one something, and another yesh of a completely different world and magnitude, you can't go direct. You need an ion. You need to go through a state of ion. Between yesh and yesh, you need an ion between. This is a very big claw. You can see this. If you want to go from one yesh to another yesh, which is just a gradual development, you don't need an ion between. Like you love all of them. But if you're going from a yesh and the leap to the other yesh is a serious leap, the only way you can do it is if you go to a place of ion in the middle, which is nothingness, where you lose the first yesh and you don't have the second yesh. And that's why it's scary. For example, I'm a shallow who may God and I need to about it but they should make a silly noise about it. A parable would be you have a seed planted in the ground. You want it to produce a tree which is going to produce fruits. To get from the seed to the tree, which are completely incomparable to each other, even though this is also called but nonetheless, it's a huge transformation to get from a seed to a tree. It doesn't just happen gradually. The seed is planted. And then the seed he says goes through recovering. Recovering means it decomposes. And the original seed is not going to be left. It opens up the the seed has different parts of it. It has the coat. It has to open up decompose and then from there the tree comes out. You can't hold on to that original if you want it to morph in to a new it has to go through a stage of where it forgets and loses its original identity. And he says what happens then is then it could be it can arouse the vegetative power in the earth to bring out its full potential. If you want to leave the seed as is on your window sill, it's beautiful beautiful seed. Why mess with it? But a tree it's not going to become. This is a martial in the world of it's also a martial in the world of of animals or of of birds. The chick emerging from the egg the egg completely splits open and becomes yet a beautiful egg. You can have A BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL OMELET FOR breakfast good protein. I'm a higher. Right very but for the to morph in to develop a chick so it says I think it's a bit of a doctor. The the egg becomes unusable becomes decomposed means it's um How do you say in English? Huh? Spoiled completely. The expression in the game in Maseches Temurah is ki gav gavil. As the egg emerges into a bird, into a into a chick, afra balmo becomes like afra. It's not like a baitza. It's nigel halacha. Um you know what's nigel halacha? It's very interesting. A baitza's treifa, if you have a let's say a chicken right, or another kosher bird and um and it's treifa. Treifa means it has a terminal illness. Right, let's say a beheima has a terminal illness and it's going to die. So even if you shecht it, you can't eat it. This is called treifa. The original word treifa means basar basar treifa. Let's say it has an illness that within 12 months it's naturally going to die. So even if you shecht it today, you can't eat it. It's called treifa. So that's why you have to check the lungs, right? If it does if it had a puncture and and basically it can't survive, that's called hilchos treifus. So then you're not allowed to eat it even though you got it before it died. So it wasn't on a veil yet. So now what happens if this treifa chicken treifa I mean not treifa like we call treifa. Treifa means it was sick to the point that it can't survive. Huh? Yeah, fatzucht, yeah. Treifa. And it lays an egg. So you're not allowed to eat the egg. It's a baitza's treifa. But the interesting thing is if this baitza gives birth, hatches a chick, then you could eat it. So it's a funny thing. The mother is treif and the child is kosher. How does that happen? And for the Gemara, ki gav gavil afra balmo. For the chick to come out of the egg, the egg has to become ice egg. It's afra balmo. And afra is not treif. You understand? It's not a regular il of ala. It's such a transformation. This chick, what do you want from the chick? THE CHICK CAME OUT OF AN EGG. The chick is kosher. It's a kosher species and the chick is not sick. So you can you can eat the chick. You You to shecht it obviously. I where it came from was an egg. HE SAYS, "NO, it came from offer." Cuz for the egg to morph into a chick, it has to become iron. Offer by almo. So, it doesn't have that same halachic sequence. What's he trying to bring out here? He's trying to bring out you're never going to go through a transformation from one metzius to another metzius when it's a significant departure if you're not going to lose everything in the middle. At some point there's going to be an iron where you're at lost. Cuz if you hold on to the first yesh, you can hold on to your seed but you're never going to become a tree. You can hold on to your egg but you're never going to become a chick. You see my mashal of being stuck in a chin and an egg your whole life is it's a good mashal. >> [clears throat] >> You could stay HAVE A BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT. An egg IS A NIGHT. WE LIKE EGGS. WELL, who doesn't like eggs? Very good. But a live a living a living creature is not going to come from it. You could take the egg and cook it and make your egg. But it's a whole different metzius. Okol meken ugamba medaber. It's also true with people. We gave a mashal of tzomeach. We gave a mashal of chai. Now he goes to medaber. The person is a medaber at the loyin bemucha bedaisha um um shiv is galah sechel chodesh mekayach maskil. You see practically that in order for you to have a new sechel, a new epiphany from your kayach maskil, which is your subconscious source of ideas, this is called kayach maskil tzorechli is t'chilah bitul metzius useh bechol chelkei sechel ad gam chen asach men. You need to have a bitul of your metzius in all parts of sechel even in your chachma. So, an expression in the neel, your ishtoymemut means you lose it. You're astounded. You're like an awe. Sheinyan ishtoymemut bitul sichli. Ishtoymemut means that your whole sechel goes down. It goes offline. Shebe shas maiseh may have been mayachedili sechel klal. You have nothing. You don't even have your old ideas. And then you become a kayli for a new flow of consciousness from your subconscious. This is all it's a very intense idea. There's never going to be a really new idea in your life if you don't lose everything you knew till now. Doesn't work any other way. You will develop ideas incrementally. Yeah, I could learn more, I could learn more. But a really new access to your Khokhmah skill is not Khokhmah. Khokhmah comes from Maskil. When a person has an epiphany, a new Where did it come from? Where did it come from? Cyberspace? Elon Musk who put it into your head? The answer is you knew it all, but you knew it on a superconscious way. That's called Maskil. Maskil has infinite insight, but we don't have access to it. Cuz if we would have access to it, we would all go crazy. So, consciousness is only maybe I don't even know if a half a percent, a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of our subconscious awareness. When your brain feels that you will not lose it with the new information, it will give you a little trickle of new information. But most of the information it keeps stored away in the Maskil cuz we're not ready for it. How much of your true self are you aware of? How much of who you really really are? And the answer is it's not what people like to hear, but the answer is if anything, a very tiny fraction. Luckily. If, yeah. If. Let's say luckily that we're not And we could live our entire life not knowing this, not even knowing that there's such a possibility. I know everything about myself. Well, I know what I feel like. I'm hungry, I'm starving, I'm upset, whatever it is. What's the Maskil to get a new insight from Maskil? The answer is iron. As long as I'm holding on to a way of looking at things and understanding, I'm going to stay there. I'll grow more and more and more. Another insight, fine, beautiful. But a new a new yes you're not to. There's an element of where you like lose everything. You're now iron. There's nothing left. And now you have nothing to sell. There's nothing left. You have nothing, but in that nothingness, something new is born. In in simple English, when you go from yes to I am, I am is no thingness. When you become no thing, you could become a new thing. If I have to remain a thing, a yesh, I'll remain a thing. >> [laughter] >> I'm not going to evolve to another thing. I'll remain this thing. Maybe I'll enhance it. I'll laminate it. But to go from one thing to a completely new thing, I have to become a no thing in the middle. So, to go if the seichel is a growth, it's more ideas, it's more insights. Yeah. But if it's a completely different yesh, it's a completely different creature, it's a different paradigm. It's such a transformative idea that without the I am, I could never go there. And that's why when we go into states of I am, it's one of the hardest things in life because you have nothing to hold on to. It's very painful, but really it's the greatest gift because there's no awareness that is born like the awareness in the moments of I am. When we lose everything, I know it's hard to say and it's emotionally not easy. And we have to have a lot of empathy for ourselves and for others cuz those states are not easy. But in that state of I am, that's where every new yesh is born. Never has there been a new yesh, a completely different reality entering into my consciousness without that I am bemtsa. And that I am bemtsa does not feel like it's a hachana to the yesh. If the I am is like, I'm going to become nothing for a few seconds, but afterwards you're going to win the Nobel Prize. >> [laughter] >> That's not I am. I am is I am. I am feels like I am. It doesn't feel like yesh. And if it doesn't feel like I am, it's not I am. You understand? If I'm going to prepare for it, okay. Right now we're going into nothingness, but don't worry. >> [laughter] >> Don't worry. In an hour there's going to be good news. No, no, No, no, no. So, YOU'RE GOING TO GET THAT. You're going to get whatever you can get from that, which is very, very little. It's in the disintegration of the egg, in the disintegration of there's nothing here. This seed is nothing. This egg is nothing. Now, with an egg and a seed, it doesn't look so dramatic. When it comes to consciousness, it's very, very dramatic. Like the person loses everything, even their khakhma. Like there's almost nothing to hold on to. In that nothingness, you're opening yourself up to a new birth, to a new reality. The kaykh amaskel. The kaykh amaskel now suddenly And it's it's breathtaking, and you can't prepare for it. But is that possible to be an ayin? Because there's always something there. Relative. You're right. We don't become completely ayin. At least not at this stage. But but relative relative. Even in ayin, there's relative ayin. You're right. The ayin of Briyah is not the ayin of Atzilus. That's true. The ayin of Assiyah is not the ayin of Yetzirah. It's true. The ayin of Assiyah agav Yetzirah is a yesh, and the ayin of Yetzirah agav Briyah is a yesh, and the ayin of Briyah agav Atzilus is for sure a yesh. Ayin itself is infinite. Cuz it's it's Ein Sof. Ein Sof is also ayin, ayin sof. >> [laughter] >> Right. Yeah. It's not intellectually. That's true. That's true. A person who's arrogant is not going to learn anything new. You see that also. You see practically the greatest prerequisite for learning new ideas is humility, bittel. When you see scientists or doctors or psychologists or or rabbis or scholars of any form who are arrogant, they're not just distasteful, they're undermining the very work they're trying to do. You know, if a scientist has preconceived notions of what the conclusions are supposed to be, it's a disaster. The same is true anybody. The greatest prerequisite for wisdom is humility, bittle ayin. So, at every level that's true. When you want to get to the maskil, you need complete ayin. Yeah. So, this curiosity intellectually, here we're going even deeper. For the person to be able to go on a quantum leap, to be able to experience something, there's a there's a state of ayin. And that is usually not for everybody is that done voluntarily. Because most people, I think, voluntarily will not go into this ayin. Huh? Yeah. It's usually almost like uh providence is calling you. And here you are. But when we get it, it's a gift. Why is it a gift? Because there's going to be no awareness like you'll have through this ayin. No awareness. I'm going to tell you something else, and that is what I have found, the only real the only people who can actually teach something that's real is if they went through this ayin. If not, it's just projecting. In other words, it's only in the ayin that a person becomes a cali for something that's really transcendent. So, you can hear it right away. You can not You can almost You can hear the resonance of it. It's a different resonance. If I never lost myself, all I can teach, all I can give is what my ego was ready to let me experience, which is always a very very limited form. Only when Only Only in the state of ayin is there a birth of something really transcendent of of of a deeper reality. Does it make sense what I'm saying? You don't understand? What What What are you struggling with? Huh? How do I actually become ayin? >> Oh. So, there's a big question. How does somebody become Ayin? What does it mean somebody becomes Ayin? I don't think I become Ayin. If I become Ayin, then it's another experiment. When I'm experiencing a moment of Ayin, I don't want to resist it. I want to remain open to it. And there's a lot of There's a lot There's a There's a lot of pain there. There's a lot of tears, a lot of grief over there. Because everything is disintegrated. But it's almost like breathing into the Ayin with trust that there's something deeper, even though I can't figure it out. I don't have to figure it out. There's moments in life a person feels like if they allow themselves to stay here, they're going to die. Or if they allow themselves to stay, they're going to become crazy. Or if they allow themselves to stay here, they're going to become the worst devil that ever existed in reality. These are real places. If you know what I'm talking about, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't know what I'm talking about, tell me a lot of bracha. Maybe stay in your Yesh. And and it it it it's very painful. It's You have to acknowledge it's excruciatingly painful. We are designed to be Yesh. We're not designed to be Ayin. Not a mistake. We're designed to be Yesh. We're designed to protect our Yesh. We will protect our Yesh with everything we have. That's what we do. It's called defensiveness. We want to protect our Yesh. We do that. Our minds are Our brains are developed that way. Our hearts Everything in our organism is developed to protect our Yesh. And it's a beautiful thing. And then there's moments in life that our Yesh is not being protected. It's falling apart. And that's an invitation to a deeper space of living. And that deeper space of living is coming about only because the yesh is falling apart. So, what happens at that moment is I don't have to become iron. But at that moment, I want to be able to stay present with that, not allow the fear, which is crazy, to just force that space into a new yesh. By running away, by avoiding it, by creating a substitute, because it's in the iron where the new yesh is being born. It's like, don't look for the chick somewhere else. As that egg breaks open, don't say, "OH, MY EGG I LOST MY EGG. LET ME GO GET ANOTHER EGG." DON'T get another egg now. Stay in the brokenness. Stay in the brokenness. Oh, my seed decomposed. Stay here. This is where the tree is. This is Stay here. But staying in the discomfort is the hardest thing. I don't want to stay here. I'm dying. Everything about me is dying. Oh, wow. So, breathe. We all need support for this. This needs a lot of support. It takes a lot of preparation. Keep it going after the It's the real concern. Yeah. It can stay there and Yeah. Yeah. It needs a It needs a It needs a lot of holding. It's called maternal holding. Yeah. I was once watching a chick trying to get out of the egg. And it was such a struggle. You know, because that egg there was only one little crack, so you could see the chick feeling something. And still there was a membrane, so that even fully wasn't cracked. And it was working so hard for such a long time. And my soft heart had one agenda. I went to the egg to crack it open and let this chick go free at last. And the woman who was there was in her house, she had an incubator. SHE SAID, "NO, NO, NO, NO. [screaming] DON'T TOUCH IT." I'M LIKE, "WHY?" She says, "It's this process which allows the chick to develop its muscles that are going to be essential for its survival. If you crack open the egg prematurely, it's going to come out and die within an hour. You're not doing it a favor. You know, we want to crack open that egg. Like, get me to the yesh. But, it's in that process of of of of nothing happening where everything happens. But, you cannot You cannot talk about it. You You can't You can't control it. It's not something we could control. Huh? You want to talk about this a little bit? >> [laughter] >> So smart. He knows when to stay quiet. Huh? You want to talk about the chicken and the egg? You want to know what comes first, yeah? Very good. That's the question. What comes first, the yesh or the ayin? Very good. >> [laughter] >> And you know the answer is? The answer is we'll never know. We'll never know. If you know what comes first, it's not going to come. We'll never know what comes first. So, the people that were in the tunnels in Gaza, you could literally see, you know, everything about their life everything about their life disintegrated. There was nothing left. And they completely And And And And what did they find? It's incredible. They found Ein Sof. It's beyond comprehension what happened over there. I heard an interview with a hostage. He said that he was taken to a house in Gaza, and it was dark, but there was a crack in the wall. So, he focused on the light coming into the crack through the crack. Then, he was taken to a tunnel, and there was dark, but there was an LED light, tiny one LED, so he focused on that. And then he said, "And then they put him into a dark room that had nothing, no crack in the wall, and no LED light." And he says, "And I found God." That's what he said. Imagine. >> [snorts] >> What does it mean I found God? Not God God G O D. You don't find that. He found God we can't even say what he found cuz I don't know. But it it's an experience of ain't so that doesn't come from words. Of course. He could have lost all of his mind and become completely crazy at the huh? He did you say. That's the process. And to see a person emerging from that with a whole different life experience it's just it's incredible to be there's no there's no words of comprehension. Even may says it's not a cali for it. It's a shame on us. There's in some of the writes that sometimes a person understands something and they think they got it cuz they learned it and they comprehended it. Maybe you have to give a presentation and you prepare something and you have it and you're excited about it. And then when you go deeper into it you see you don't you don't understand anything. >> [laughter] >> And you're so lost you're so lost and he says the person becomes so like they become almost sick from how much they don't understand it. I really don't understand anything. And he said and they don't realize that that's the process where they're going to that that is what's going to allow them to really understand it. That complete complete um sense of no ego at all. The entire intellectual ego is crushed and abandoned and I'm left with nothing. It actually allows me to get something new that I never had before. And the same is true in every aspect of life. People with marriages, people with their children for example, struggles with their children. As long as they're trying to control the situation they'll often not learn anything new and the same is true in marriage. It happens when I let go of everything and I I know anything that I'll actually learn something new. So now what's the nakuda? What's the What's the conclusion? Let's finish this vart here. So he says vihinei. Three lines on the bottom. Just as it's true going upward, it's also true going downward. What do we mean? Just like the seichel needs to be bottle to the koach hamaskil in order to get from the koach hamaskil something new, the same is true the other way around. When the seichel comes to middos, Just like it's true going upward, that the seichel needs to become bottle to the koach hamaskil to get a flow, the same is true now downward. For seichel to go into middos, because middos is a whole new reality that seichel doesn't have, so there has to be the bottle of seichel, and that's metza hagaron. As the information goes through the metza hagaron, the throat and the neck, something happens. There's no giluy air. Just like What's hishtalmus? Hishtalmus means the moment there's like a complete loss, a sense of loss. Complete perplexed. And at that moment there's no seichel at all. The seichel from the koach hamaskil comes after the hishtalmus. In that moment of complete loss, there's nothing. You don't have your old and you don't have the new. So, it's like you're throwing off an emotional, so to speak, a cliff and you don't have anything. And only after that does the mattress show up, do the arms show up to catch you. Like in life, when that happens, I'm like left with nothing. I I lost the old. I don't have the new and from there you can only have the new one. So, in that middle process, in that interim process, it's very, very painful. So, the seichel to the koach hamaskil goes through hishtalmus and in that hishtalmus you don't have anything yet. After that, this koach hamaskil will give you a new flow. The same is true also with the metzius hagader. You lose the mochin and you still don't have the middos. Only after the hefsek, the interruption of the metzius hagader where everything is lost, that's when real middos are born. So, the Rebbe's saying here a very, very We look seichel and middos as a gradual process. He says it's not. It's not. There's a transformation that happens where the seichel stops for the middos to be born. Cuz they're two opposites. So, from the yesh to the yesh, I have to go through an ayin. What we're learning here is that don't take for granted that all that's from seichel middos come. It's a completely different type of creature. It's an opposite creature. And it needs an ayin be'emtza. So, if I'm stuck in the world of seichel, I can't even go to the world of middos. Is the ayin be'emtza the humility? Despite the knowledge that you have, you take a break and you say, "What's going to The The thing is like this, as long as I'm trying to say, "I understand it. I understand it. I understand it. Of course I feel it. No, no, no. Yeah. Is that the moment between the stimulant and the response? It could be. The point is that the understanding of something is completely not experiencing of it. Completely not. It's like it's a different world. It's literally a different world. Yeah. And as long as I want to be I want to be in control I want to be in control of it, which is what intellect can often be. I understand it. And I can organize it. And I don't get affected, but it's not vulnerability. Midis is vulnerable. Moychin is not vulnerable. Moychin is understanding. You don't have to be vulnerable to understand a piece of Gamara if I care. You have to be an intellectual and you understand it. That's why I'm telling you the world of Midis is a different world. It's a world that's very vulnerable. It's a world of his pylons. It's a world of his factions. It's a world in which I lose myself. In Moychin you don't lose yourself. What are you losing yourself for? On the contrary, Zora I'll explain. I'll argue. I'll defend myself. Huh? Very good. Bitel Atzmi means that I'm not emotionally involved. Right? Very good. Bitel Atzmi Moychin means I'm trying to be objective. So I'm not involved. That's the point. Yeah, it's not personal. What are you getting personal for? Midis is all personal. That's the mile. There's a mile in Moychin also. We're soon going to see there's a big mile in Moychin. The mile in Moychin is I can talk about things that are very transcendent. Right? Midis is huh? But not me. But I could but it's it's it's amazing. Huh? There's a big mile in it. The mile of Bitel Atzmi I can go therefore I could talk about the highest things. Because it's NOT ABOUT ME. >> [laughter] >> MIDIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE. So it's a it's a real transformation. It's not a it's not a gradual process. And the Rebbi is saying here it's similar like say to Mascal, which is the subconscious. Atkadecha is a transformation. It's like going into a whole new realm of self in which in which in which you become embodied. Where you could really see this is people who grew up with a mechanism of emotional disassociation. And sometimes it's so bad they don't even know they're disassociated. They think they're emotional, but they're completely disassociated. So, it's literally like wires have been cut. And you need to create literally new wires to get from seichel to middos. Like you need new wires. It's like it needs a whole new wiring, and it needs a bittle of the whole old world to come into the new world. It's like it's rebirth. It's it's literally a rebirth from seichel to middos. It's like it's rebirth. Somebody who lived with seichel and didn't know what the world of middos is, to come into the world of middos, it's literally destroying everything about yourself and completing a new person. Like a chick from an egg. I was an egg, and I will become a chick. You can't compare the two. An egg doesn't become a chick. An egg ceases to be, and then there's a chick. It's a new reality. It's not ilu v'ulu. You still needed the seichel in order to get to middos. You needed the seichel, and then you have to let go of it. Atkadecha. You're not going to be able to understand this. You're going to have to feel this. Pun intended. >> [laughter] >> The seichel doesn't want it. The seichel only allows us to understand this a little bit. We're so good with seichel, Jews are am chacham v'navon, the people of the book. We're so good with seichel that seichel wants to control even the middos. But, it's a whole different it's a it's a different inyan. Middos is a place of complete complete vulnerability. Middos is a place of place of complete embodiment. Hargasha atzmis. It's one with you. It's integrated. It's me. Middos is me. Seichel is not me. L'chaim, not me sounds much better than me, right? It sounds much better than me, but there's a big challenge there. The challenge is detachment. It's not me, it's amazing. It's not me. And there's no There's no seichel and no me there. In real seichel, there's no me, it's beautiful. And that's the mylo of seichel. The mylo of seichel is put yourself aside and learn about the inyan and explain it. One of my children told me that uh He said, "Tati, when uh when you will when you will start embodying what you say, you won't have to give long shiurim." He says, "When you'll start embodying what you say, you won't have to give long shiurim." He says, "You'll know right away what you're saying, and everybody will know what you're saying." The reason you're giving long shiurim is cuz you're explaining words, words, words, words, words, words, words, cuz you're not embodying what you're saying. So, the words are compensating. Huh? That's what he told me. >> [laughter] >> Nonchalantly, this wasn't I told you the best therapy sessions you'll get from your children, and they don't charge you. And they'll give you extra hours if you want. They'll sit with you a whole night telling you how much sugar you are, and it's all for free. And it's with ah That's the question if you can handle it, yeah. So, that you have to go through I am the answer. >> [laughter] >> You have to go to I am the answer to be able to handle it, yeah. He said it now, it was in the kitchen. It was in the kitchen. I was like, "There I have a hug of you know what I mean." You could sit 10 years with a therapist, paying him like $10,000, and maybe at the end you'll understand what he's saying, if he even understands this. It was almost like that I have a hug of like, you know, pass you know, pass the chunt. >> [laughter] >> Next. Like, boom. I'm like, whoops, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Huh? Yeah, yeah. And how many says he wants to make a course on how to raise parents. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. Huh? How to raise parents, yeah? Or Sherman Russell says sorry good little bottom is the sorry good little that comes through the bottom. >> [laughter] >> The children raising the parents. It's It's that that's all this Indian. As I'm not going to use more words, but that that that that that that I don't want to say that's the word. It's a completely different world. Okay, we'll take a break here. And where is it a sham Thursday I'm not I'm not going to be available but we'll have a share Friday morning 8:00. Tomorrow we have a woman's class. Everybody have a beautiful day and a beautiful week. Let's lock it up. Yeah.