Marriage Expert: "This is so Bad, it needs to be Addressed..."

what is the Jewish view on the public display of affection couples being publicly affectionate toward one another now affection and physical affection is crucial in a marriage it's crucial behind closed doors but what I'd like to address is the Jewish view toward public affection in public uh while everybody's watching couples walking down the park holding hands or putting your arm around your spouse or things of that nature what is the Jewish view the is on his glosses to the this is in chapter 21 of evanz of the section of the the code of Jewish law that deals with marriage he writes there that couples should not display public affection obviously affection again is important and physical affection is important but he argues that it should not be public and that it is Hally problem it is problematic in line with Jewish tradition and there are two reasons why aim why authorities say one should not be publicly affectionate with her spouse number one is how is it going to make other people feel um hopefully if they have a very good marriage it'll make them feel proud you also have a great marriage or at least you look like you have a great marriage maybe you don't I don't know um there are situations where it's not going to make people feel good it's not going to plant the right thoughts about you or your spouse in other people's minds but there's a more fundamental reason there's a more important reason and that is Judaism sees public affection or not public affection but physical affection physical contact as intimate holding hands with your spouse should be an act of intimacy should be something that is reserved for private spaces because it's private why is it private we're not being intimate we're just holding hands well that's the problem holding hands should feel intimate should feel a certain sense of closeness so close where it's nobody's business where I don't want anybody else in on this closeness no couple in their right mind hopefully would argue that maybe we should engage in sexual intercourse publicly let's let other people see um I I think it would be reasonable for one to say that's ridiculous that's very private it's nobody's business it's a special moment between you and two between you two and nobody else is invited into that private space and Judaism argues that the same is actually with simply holding one's hand or putting your arm around your SP these things are very sensitive and the moment we don't feel like they're that sensitive and we do and we are comfortable inviting other people into that space is the moment that we have to kind of rethink our sensitivity Have We Become desensitized so the or the argues that one should refrain from public display of affection because the affection physical affection is a step toward intimacy and should be intimate and the way we preserve that intimacy is by keeping it private not sharing it with anybody that's my story and I'm sticking to it