Mazal Tov On Your Bar Mitzvah! (Ep. 225)

hi this is damsky and welcome back to the ramski show whether you're watching with our friends of turning time orever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's so nice to have you along as we are well into our sixth year of the podcast God zooks somebody sent me a an email uh wasn't in the question answer was sent to me directly and says you know you keep making reference to this Rabbi sitter why don't to uh you know actually discuss that I had Dan Roth who runs Torah live and uh produces all the uh Rabbi sitter on the previous episode so you can go look that up if you like and um well we'll put the we'll put the link in there for you if if you want to look it up but uh We've we've done a lot of stuff my gosh yeah so um yeah yeah it's it's an amazing thing I was just flipping through uh some old uh emails that I got and someone had sent me a video of their child watching the um episode with Rabbi Fogel gar uh you know he him and his his boys were singing the yes this is a big deal every Friday night is a right shabas angels and uh you see this little kid just watching the video dancing along with it we've done a lot a lot of stuff so um yeah very nice soem welcome along and we have a spons to this episode hi Rabbi thank you for sharing D Torah in a way that makes it accessible and enjoyable for everyone someone asked me once what why are you sure I'm so entertaining and I said because otherwise I will get board in the middle it's not that I'm such a good speaker I'm such a poor listener I have no patience to sit through speeches that's why you know I don't do well on panels because you know I have to sit there and listen to everybody else and uh I it's hard for me I have ADD and stuff you know so I know that if I don't keep it interesting I will get distracted in the middle of my speech and just wander off so I got to try to keep it well so I'm glad you appreciate it we are sponsoring this episode in honor of my parents 30 7th anniversary mazeltov there was a time when that sounded pretty old to me but of course my wife and I have already past 40 so but it's quite a milestone shim theah hope to see you at the wedding numy and shimy hasem this is obviously an old uh one because they're married now Hashem and they should go and build an such a to be able to participate and we'll talk about I want to share a personal idea uh in this episode if you will indulge me and um it's interesting there somebody who's trying to help me promote the um the podcast because it's a it's a Pity that this is probably one of the most effective things out there in my opinion my own humble opinion and uh I just repeat what I hear you know and uh we have a relatively small uh viewership compared to other podcast and every now and then I meet people who say to me I listen to youh I didn't even know you had a podcast so uh trying to figure out ways to get out there so he gave a suggestion of trying to take some hot button topics so that might attract the People by the titles yeah but um but the real you know base well basically listen to almost anything I have to say because it doesn't really matter what I'm saying it's just the way I say it that makes it interesting you know or Shak Cohen uh who's one of the major and of Our Generation Um many years ago over 30 years ago I I had done a share on platonic relationships I don't know if sheer is the right word for it but I did a uh a talk about platonic relationships and someone played with him and he says well I've been saying these things for years just just not as well so that's what I try to do I try to I try to to to just to present whatever I'm saying in a way that hopefully will be mean meaningful uh to people so uh I'm sharing a personal thing because this week I going to be celebrating my grandson yakob liberman's Bar Mitzvah what beautiful Sim and uh they this this is Meaningful to me on a very special level because that means it'll be easier for me to make a mumin and that's really what life all comes down to you know re glio always wanted to free his slave Tavi but he couldn't you know he knocked out his his his eye but he didn't have a was just a rough thing and finally one time they need him for Minion so he was able to free him so uh that uh that's a major consideration my son MOSI Huda was once flown to Europe by a particular um well too person who was going to Europe and he wanted to make sure he had a minion so he flew a minion along with him so that he would always have a minion I have to say that's always been one of my dreams is uh to have enough money that I can keep nine people on salary that when I send out a message I'm ready to do in they have to be here in 15 minutes I don't care what you do the rest of your time but you're on call for me doin whenever I will like to DAV in and you're here and I'll pay you a full salary it's not a problem but that's that's your that's your job somebody told me once that his father hired this Yeshiva guy to be his driver and uh you know he says whenever I need to drive someplace I'll call you and the rest of time you can sit and learn so uh pretty good huh I I remember I went to put in a new radio in my car CU my radio had died and I went to this place called s radio and they said it'll take a couple hours to install it and said next thing he said but if you want you go up to the Bas Mish I said what they have a Bas Mish upstairs you know a little K that's that's the way I like to install my car radio I'm sitting in sitting in K so uh yeah so that would that's great so bem he's joining the uh the community of clel and I wanted to speak about bar mitzvah because it's an interesting thing I get every now and then emails from people who say my son is becoming bmitzvah could you make him a little video and I always say yes and then I immediately forget and sometimes they forget to write me back and then I find the email like a month later I'm like oh my gosh I guess I missed this one you know and some people understand my limitations and they just write again and again until I finally hop oh I better do this right now and it's always nice and I have certain things that I tend to say and I'll tell you one uh idea that I like to say and I want to talk a little bit about this idea of of becoming a bar mitzvah one of the things I say is just before you Bar Mitzvah you understand that you are pure evil what do I mean by that that uh when you're born you get your Rashi tells us this right as soon as you're born it's is crouching by the PES and as soon as a person comes out into the world they get the Y you don't get your y to until you're 13 which means there's nothing in this world as evil as a small child now so when you become 13 now you have an opportunity you get your yto you have an opportunity to become a good person so how do we understand this because we know not every child is Damian from The Omen you know what I mean not every child is uh is is evil in that sense well what does it mean when when we say your yah your yah says give in to yourself fill your desires yeah if you're hungry eat if you're tired sleep if you want something take it little children do that they take other people's things they don't think of it as stealing in their mind they want it and so it should be theirs because little children are completely self- centered that's why when a little kid is embarrassed at something they go like this and say you can't see me the Assumption being that since I can't see you you can't see me because the only thing in the world is me that's that's that's a sense of egocentric dism where you don't think there's anything in the world but you and so you need to have your needs met and I don't really care about anybody else and so little kids don't care that mommy's on the phone Mommy Mommy Mommy one second I'm on the phone yeah but I have to ask you something now Mommy Mommy and and a you wait a few minutes ago what now I forgot I get very angry cuz why weren't you there for me when I needed you right now they're not able to understand anything else but we see little kids do good things yes because it's the same way you train a puppy you give them a little treat you do something you know they get immediate rewards so maybe they'll get praise or maybe they'll get this but they're not doing it for altruistic reason reasons they're not doing it because they want to do something good they're doing it because they're going to get a praise or they're going to get a prize or they're going to get something when you become 13 you now have the opportunity to be good which means to step outside of yourself and see other people that's how the Torah defines mosu he became big and he went to look at his brothers that's a sign of maturity when I'm not looking at it from my own point of view I'm looking at it from your point of view that's a very powerful thing can you step outside of yourself can you can you see the world from others Through The Eyes of others and other people's perspective can I be as concerned for you as I am for myself now interesting thing that when you become Bar Mitzvah although based in sh can give you the death penalty uh it's difficult to do but if you meet all the requirements very hard to do you meet all the requirements to get the death penalty they can give you mis K won't if you do something K won't do it until you're 20 why because in between 13 and 20 you are what's called a teenage and K knows that a teenager is crazy and I mean this from a physiological point of view they are crazy their reactions Studies have been done that these people are crazy there's a reason their insurance is higher than everybody else because their sense of risk-taking of thrill of of all kinds of things it's unstable they're in a very unstable stage that's why in Judaism we don't send you out to the Army to you 20 because you're not stable you have to wait till you're able to establish a sense of equilibrium now what does that mean that means since I've spent my whole life being selfish and self-centered what we call evil ra you only have now you have to you have to make a balance between it so as we know um everything in the physical world is a reflection of something that's real in the spiritual world so um the reason you have two eyes the reason that your nose is shaped like a shin the fact that hair grows on your head and under your arms all of these things are significant they reflect spiritual realities in the physical world that's why Arin was able to figure out the entire Torah by looking at the physical world he looked and the Torah and created the world so everything is based on that is a reality here why are we teenagers isn't that a terrible thing terrible thing um the guys who made airplane which was a very funny movie that came out [Music] 1977 I happened to be in La when it came out I remember it um I I I didn't I didn't always have the spiritual greatness that I have today I went through a period anyway these people were crazy and they came out with uh a couple of other crazy movies and one of them was called um uh uh top secret I spy I'm tring remember what it was called now it was some take off on all the spy movies you know anyway the guy is like tied up you know chained up and they're beating him these two goons are like beating him you know and and uh and he passes out and he suddenly sees himself in high school again and his friend says to him so did you study for the math test goes I didn't know there was a test today oh my gosh what am I going to do yeah and he wakes back up and he sees these two goons beating him and he says oh good I thought I was back in high school I mean I made such an impression on me you know that uh that being a teenager is just terrible was terrible and it's not only challenging um there was a a Broadway play called Chorus Line and they all sing about what it was to be a teenager it's called hello 12 hello 13 hello love yeah so uh I don't remember all the words but it was something along the lines of like um it's a mess it's a mess time to grow time to go ad aess too old to too young to take over too old to ignore GE I'm almost ready but what for it's it's a very hard time but besides that our whole the weird things that happen to you you sometimes have these kids like in Miami P or one of the other pure you know and they're like little sailor suits and stuff and then at some point it's like the voice starts to change and there is no guarantee that when you're done you're going to come out a shrey or Ari goldwag all these people who went to the uh went to Miami Boys Choir and then developed into real singers might not happened to you so um the uh the the fact that a person can can uh go through this it's very difficult your voice that's changing yeah and then of course since there are gallons of hormones pumping through your body because we have to take a person who's essentially a child and turn them into an adult very quickly and so everything nothing grows at the same time you know you go to sleep and you wake up and suddenly your legs are enormously long and totally out of proportion of the rest of your body you know where your arms just start hanging down like a neanderthal you know it's just terrible and then of course acne what a great idea that was you know and people's faces start breaking out you know gosh I didn't have terrible acne but you know every now and then you would get one of those little pimples right by your hair line you know it was usually usually when you didn't want one every now and then well who cares you know but yeah you get one right on your nose and some little kid says you look like a witch and it's a very rough time until you can establish equilibrium now the reason that's happening to you in the physical world is because it's reflecting a spiritual reality the spiritual reality is that you are with yourself because the part of you that has been selfish and self-centered and nasty and the part of you that wants to be great and and and good are at War they're fighting with each other and that's why going back to when I was a teenager I was able to Davin on on a level I've never been able to do since this there a fire and excitement and just like teenagers are capable of doing some of the most wonderful things they're also capable of doing some of the most horrible things like really mean stuff bullying and and and nasty and you know and part of that is of course they're going through this terrible uh mil so uh you know know you have children and they suddenly become teenagers and uh and you tell them something and they say why why am I doing that why are you talking like that they start screaming you're like why are you screaming I don't know why okay okay you happy you Happ me they go to their room and they slam their door twice you know and parents are like what what what happened here they are at a loss because it doesn't make any sense but the answer is they themselves don't know wine they're in emotional and physical turmoil and the reason is because they are in spiritual turmoil they are trying to find an equilibrium and uh and it's a process it's a process I uh Rabbi Kish who as I've mentioned many times one of the master of Our Generation Um he always tells the guys respect the process it's a process things don't happen overnight or as I've quoted my wife many times I feel like girls high schools only want girls who don't need High School you're supposed to be perfect when you get there and there's no concept of growth give people an opportunity to grow up and become somebody else um inel we don't have high schools we have Yesa Katana Yesa Katana is Yesa only smaller there's smaller people and smaller chairs and smaller hats and smaller jackets and smaller garas and the teeny tiny lady in the teeny tiny house the Teeny but otherwise it's the same exact program there's no there's no attempt to take these people and develop them into adults I think that's a tragedy people need to uh have that opportunity to grow up but I think what's extremely important and that's the idea of bar mitzvah there's an old story with the someone asked who should get the MAF if there's a or a B Mitzvah boy who should get it and he said whichever one is older [Laughter] what does that mean that means in the good old days when men were men and women were women and rebers were rebers yeah people got married at their B Mitzvah in Europe it was not unusual you a 13-year-old get married yeah sure it's uh it makes it makes life much easier if you go through a high school married yeah I have to have to deal with all that pressure you know but um uh it's a it's a sense that a 13-year-old in the torah's eyes is viewed as an adult to the point that they're responsible for their actions they're counted in a minion they're considered a member of the community yes we understand he still needs to do some growing up but at this point he's an adult thear says that a father is obligated to uh take care of his children under until they're old enough to support themselves sayar five if they're a little slow six and then you say son it's time for you to make it on your own good luck anyway when I tell this to people they are horrified they said well well it's different today I said yeah now it's more like 45 you that's only because you're hoping for yusa by that point to have to try to make it on your own be responsible yeah I I read an article in the New York Times in the 1980s back in I lived in America in 1980s I probably got the New York Times you know I was uh that was that was still when there was some news in it anyway there was an oped piece that was written by this woman who had gone with her boyfriend to see a movie called Big starring Tom Hanks and the premise was that he was a 13-year-old boy who wished to be big and he suddenly you know wakes up and he's 30 and he has to go out in the world and then get a job and manage everything like this anyway he gets involved with this woman at work and he really has no idea how to handle this and at one point he says look I'm just a 13-year-old boy and the girl writes goes my boyfriend start laughing hysterically as did all the men in the theater not the women so much he says because to a a man they're still little boys there's not even a desire to grow up and to be big yeah um Dave Barry who was a humorist out of the Miami Herald he wrote a book called Dave Barry turns 40 you WR another book called Dave Barry turns 50 that at that point he gave up but um in Dave Barry turns 40 he says a line that is profound he says now that you're 40 you realize that you have more in common with Ward and June than you do with the beaver okay for those of you who have no idea what that reference means there was a TV show at the beginning of the 1960s I think called leave it to Beaver about this 8-year-old boy and his parents were called Warden June I wouldn't have known that but I read in the article and um and what this fellow is saying is now that I'm 40 I have to begin to come to grips with the fact that I'm not an eight-year-old boy because until then it was pushing R Chate um he was uh one of the people to approve student for the master's program in y University when he was there and uh he said very often people would come to get their masters because they didn't know what else to do otherwise I'd have to go out to the world this way I can stay in Academia and it's safe I go to school and you know there are people like this that just always going to school get another degree get another certification get another but uh but they're not doing anything not going out to do things when you're 13 years old the Torah says okay now you're an adult and you have an obligation to go out and do something in this world you're an adult okay you you need some maturing to do but the fact that a person in his 30s still sees himself as a kid in the secular world and I have to say to a limited extent in the fir world there's an idea of someone in their 20s is too young to get married you have to wait till get older but I hear this from from people too I don't want to run away and get Mar I want to enjoy my life I always think that's so profound I want to enjoy my life I got things I want to do I want to travel I you know because if I get married Love and Marriage love and marriage yeah goes together like a horse and [Music] carriage I forgot the words but somewhere in there there's a baby [Laughter] carriage um you know that's that you get married you have children and you build a home and you take responsibility and that that was always a value my parents they got married and their goal was to have Jewish children bring them up what they weren't firm to have Jewish children bring them up as Jewish kids get a home raise the children to be responsible adults I mean that was it wasn't go out and find your your own personal uh happiness and fulfillment it was to do something in this world and uh the fact that people you know don't appreciate a sense of responsibility I'm in this world to do something I'm in this world to build something it's not about me I I used to say this when it came to marriage it's not it's not about me and it's not about you it's about us doing something together and we're doing this as a team to build a home and raise the children and bring them up and that's it and each one of us understands that it has a role and it's not about me constant self assurance which I believe is a sign of immaturity husband comes to the wife and says did you see I changed the light bulb over there in the the home I changed the wife says did you did you see I did the dishes did you did you notice did you yeah now I'm not talking about that we shouldn't Express appreciation that's a wonderful thing to do but what do I what do I need that for why aren't I doing what I'm doing because I know it's worthwhile and a good thing to do I've told the story before but it's uh you know Rabbi shinberg when he was living in New York happened to be a very good baseball player he was actually offered a position in the minor leagues and uh they thought he would uh spend some time there and then end up in the major leagues it was a great picture he was known as Lefty shinberg I still know people from I met people from tvz who knew him there and he was like yeah Lefty shinberg but um uh he uh he instead decided to go to Europe and learn in the mirr he was coming from New York and he was going to the to the mirror they didn't have flush toilets they ouses and everything that went with that and someone told the the J was this American he gave up New York and he came to Europe to sit and learn in in you know in these very difficult spart and conditions said so that's what he's supposed to do Sher heard this story he loved it he would tell it all the time he says yeah yeah that's what you're supposed to do not I need a pat on the back I need a big thank you Reby Reby did you see I came to DAV this yes it's very good you know there's a sense of appreciation that I'm supposed to be an adult and I'm supposed to take responsibility I feel like I told this story just recently if so you'll indulge me but uh when I was a mash during a particularly dark period of my life I was this one one kid who was much more mature than everybody else I know CU he kept telling me how much more mature he was and uh and uh he one time he was complaining to me and I said you know maturity means taking responsibility and uh you know dining starts at 7:15 and you don't get out of bed till 11 sometimes 12 so I don't know why you think you're mature and without missing a beat he said maybe you should be asking yourself why you can't motivate me to get up in the morning cuz at the end of the day this is your failure Rabbi isn't it nobody wants to be an adult take responsibility do it I'm supposed to do because that's what you're supposed to do remember seeing a sign in a store one says we have a new incentive program work and don't get [Laughter] fired my father couldn't understand this you get up the morning and go to work you have to an obligation no complain you do what you have to do so when a person turns 13 we say you're now an adult do you have challenges and issues of course you do I remember hearing the Nova minska re speak once he says I meet people today they say they have issues I remember when people had problems now we have issues but uh um the challenges challenges the people yes you you don't have your y that long things are going to be hard you know but if you if you plan ahead and that's what people do who's smart someone who sees the future by contrast you know who's stupid someone who doesn't see the future someone someone who doesn't appreciate that their actions have consequences and that's one of the big problems with teenagers is they don't understand that they are consequences to our actions had one of my daughters once and she was and bakov and they wanted her to wear a particular type of skirt and she didn't want to wear the skirt and she says I don't care I'm not going to wear it let them throw me out I said okay let's let's play this through they throw you out they throw you out now you're on the street no other school will take you because you got thrown out you know what's your life going to end up what are you going to do about schooling how you going to get an education uh who you going to marry you know I don't care I won't wear that skirt understand that's it's very narrow yeah you have to you have to be able to see it has consequences so rans when his son was becoming Bar Mitzvah so he burn to the stier to get a braa and the stier says uh he says why can I do for you br that that that my son should be so looks in the kid and says says BR very nice but what's your plan how you going to become a so this poor little kid is sitting there with with the stapler trying to figure out he says listen to me closely he says you have to sleep for eight hours a night or seven hours a night and take a nap during the day yeah he says uh you need time to eat you need time to shower you need time to to uh to dve and you uh you left Bon with 12 hours a day he says you learn for 12 hours a day from now until you're 20 and I guarantee you you'll be at but in order to do that you have to see ahead and that's something that unfortunately teenagers are very bad at doing they're very bad at at looking ahead and seeing the consequences of what we're doing and how it's going to affect me because otherwise they would take different choices and that's why I've told the story before I'm sure it was a girl in shabet seminary and she says I don't know if I want to be from him anymore I said okay what it's next year going to look like very easy year after that was very easy what happens when you're 30 okay 50 she say I don't like the way this is turning out no let's keep going 70 80 she says what's the question I have to be from but nobody wants to look ahead they want to just look at the next thing what happens when I'm 70 must come a time 70 when you're old and it's cold and who cares if you live or you die right Oliver so um uh but you're not looking ahead I just have the next decision and that's what the yahar wants you to do not to look ahead but once you're 13 the Torah says to you now you're a man I remember my bar mitzvah was in the East me Jewish Center conserve a synagogue they give you a mograph sheet stand in front of the Ark heavenly father today I am a man you that no not so much the Baris kids have to stand on a box to be able to reach the uh you know the Tor hard to take them seriously my son by B Mitzvah he was he was already he was already welldeveloped I remember I went into a story Gula and said I want to buy a b Mitzvah suit and he looks at my son he goes pulls out this D little suit goes this is a b Mitzvah suit let's go to the big men's [Laughter] station I was surprised but uh you know but you see some these B Mitzvah people they're like you know an extra in The Wizard of Oz you know what happened over here you know but um uh the Torah says now you're an adult and you can make decisions about your future now you can take responsibility for CLA Israel that an amazing thing and that's the size of adult moso looks and he sees the suffering of his people and that's called a bar mitzvah that's called becoming an adult when you when you look and you say okay I'm looking outside of myself and I'm looking at other people I understand that my actions have consequences and the decisions that I make are going to have ramifications where you being Beyond me and that's why people don't want to look ahead I'll just look at the next thing I'm going to do and that's that's the Surefire sign of immaturity it's impulsive everyone knows the famous test that they did where they gave these little kids uh a marshmallow and they said you can eat it now but if you wait 10 minutes I'll give you another marshmallow and you'll have two so some kids ate it right away and some people waited and they track these kids through life and the first group were never successful the second group were very successful because they understood there's something called delayed gratification if you wait you'll get something better know but you have to but you have to think about it should I just take it now or should I you know I have to you have to consider these things as Jerry Seinfeld said I gu I went to buy some medicine this one's fast acting but this one's longlasting H when do I want to feel better now or later and that's the idea you know when you become a bar mitzvah it means you're not just being a little kid who needs their needs met immediately I can't have delayed gratification I can think ahead now that's when you become a to fast right now you're fast what does that mean means I'm hungry yes you are that's sort of the definition of a fast day there's nothing for you to eat you're delaying it you have to put it off it's not just what do I want to do now have to get up in the morning yeah I had a friend of mine who rivo who was staying at my house once with one of his sons and uh and he um and he was taking a shab's SNP and he goes in he wakes him up I didn't think it was a very long nap and I said you're waking him up already he goes he's a teenager he'll sleep forever if you let him got things to do places to go no can't just hang around sleep your life away I need to accomplish things to go someplace a very important concept so to Yakov yak and to his parents um everybody's so proud of you that you're becoming a bar mitzvah joining CL and always remember right what it means now that you're a bar mitzvah is you're looking out for CLA Isel you are responsible go out and look at the the suffering of your people see how you can make it better understand what's there and uh and where are in this world to accomplish something not to be a child anymore but to be an adult mem and maav to the libran family and now questions by Anonymous you mentioned that someone made a highlight video of the first year of the rabi olowski show and the second and I was wondering when you will share it sure I'll put up a link now not a problem that's an easy one yeah look how easy that is I've gone to more than one uh school where the school secretary had a sign above her desk I don't know I've seen it more than one school by the secretary says I can only make one person happy today today is not your day tomorrow doesn't look good either so we just made somebody happy all right by Anonymous the RV has quoted in the past from Shapiro that now after 911 and mam GOOG comes before Torah quick correction I heard that from a Bulman how does this work for someone learning in Yeshiva oh boy so you know said that even yes needs to give Misa from his time for cl so what the form takes depends very much on the person right because you know I can do AED by learning with a younger guy in Yeshiva by helping somebody out by cleaning up the draa you know by uh um you know when when we're preparing the list of mar makas I've got the from me when I'm done I go to another Kus and say do you need the rash have it over here the opportunities for are constant you know to able to clear off the table to be able to you know after the meals to be able to help help people out there's there there's so many opportunities I'll tell you Story the Jewish press uh which very often bashes people learning in K and uh you know okay it's it's pretty dear girl already why don't these bums go out and get a job I I know the whole speech but there was one letter that really hurt and on a on a on a visceral level it said like this so we have a CO an hour Shore when I come in the morning I see dirty coffee cups all over the table nobody put back this far them sometimes they poured themselves some cereal and it spilled they didn't bother cleaning it up sometimes they don't bother putting the milk back in the fridge I'm afraid that the col lifestyle has given people a sense of entitlement that they uh don't feel like they have to care about anybody but themselves that hurt because I know what they're talking about you know people just knock liit a okay I'm not impressed but in kelm they used to auction off the right to uh sweep the base mes yeah there there are opportunities that surround us all the time you I I've told the story before there was mashah who um um left a chair in the doorway you know the the door was open and he left the chair there and everybody pushed their way around the chair yeah and um and uh after everyone was sitting learning M comes all clap he says say what are we learning bakama so what peric first peric what Su poor so he says how could you see a Bor you see an obstacle and everyone's way and you don't remove it how easy it is when I was learning with kavi so they did a big sponger in the bass magish and they moved all the benches down and they stacked all of the um sendes on top of it so the first people who came in to learn you couldn't learn so they started setting up the B magish right now some people are better at this and some people are worse you know I know there this one fellow who DAV who who uh who married ARA's daughter and he saw people working and goes hey I could do this too and he starts to move one of the benches and the stenders topple over and he goes ah forget it I can't do this I said Just remember why yahushua took over for mosu the kazal say because he set up the chairs in the base Med not because he married mosh renu's daughter I thought that was such a clever line on my part but anyway the point is that uh you know to to take care of it I try uh when I'm when I'm leaving Bas Mish I go around and I collect the dirty coffee cups how does a person go and make themselves a coffee and leave it on the table in the Bas mish how do you leave dirty tissues on on the tables or on the floor than it throw it out you you take it and drop it on the floor I'll try I'll try to collect I try to do that as much as I can when I go to put my sitter back I collect as many Sedum as I can and take them with me they're all hanging around anyway all of their people didn't bother putting them back I'm going there anyway you have no idea how many opportunities there are for and remember that saying good morning putting a smile on your face you know um no AO going over to somebody you sees having a hard time and give them a few kind words I mean there's so many opportunities to be able to do in our lives we don't even realize it I remember when I was in had a principle that you were not allowed to use the tissues in the bathroom for your nose only for its original intended purpose so you had to go out and buy yourself your own tissues I never understood this but okay that was their that was their principle and so people had to have their own tissues but sometimes if you don't have your package of tissues and your nose is literally dripping not figuratively literally dripping what are you supposed to do so you go around and you see boxes of tissues they already mock bit on them so I have a friend who is now part of the in diamond and uh I one time needed a tissue and I see a box of tissues and I see something written on it I was like well of course you know and it says M so first I blew my nose and then I went over to my high he says listen how many tissues are they going to take from me let's say I have to buy box every few days it's not going to break me but it's a back in the old days when there were phone cards for those of you there used to be these things called public phones so in Israel there used to be aimon which were these little like tokens that you had to put in to make a phone call yeah and then they went up to cards there were cards that had X number of clicks on them and you would stick in the card and as you were talking and the clicks would run down till it ran out so one time a guy needed a phone card and he says say someone can I borrow your phone card they said sure give him the phone card he makes a call he says how much do I owe you he says nothing says no no I want to pay you because he pulls out another one he says this is my phone card this is my phone card I bought this for my stalker money so that if anybody ever needs a phone card I can give him a phone card like that um my car uh more than once I had a flat tire and I have to get it to uh to the um the place to fix it here in Israel we have a Hebrew word for it's called the puncta I don't know what the source of the word is but Puna anyway so there's this organization called the you call them up and at least on two separate occasions there are people who keep in their car these little instant inflatable things they plug it in and they inflate it no compensation They Carried around in their car cuz they want to be a able to do a so you keep certain things on hand that you know you getting one for yourself get one for theor and uh that's opportunities for that go on in Yesa gu's life okay by Anonymous if someone is allergic to flowers what's a good alternative this is obviously a sensitive issue for me because my father was a florist so there's no alternative having said that um there are silk flowers that are just remarkable they're almost indistinguishable from real flowers so if you can't handle real flowers you get these and uh and they're very nice they uh i' I've seen them there are certain kasas where the people don't want to spend money on floors and and pay for flowers so they they're G you can rent silk flower sent to piece and uh it's a nice thing so if you want to get your wife something for shabas and she got to my mind you know if you're not allergic she'll spend the money on flowers I don't think there's anything like real flowers and to me uh it brightens up a room brightens up a life and there's nothing more beautiful than watching a living thing die but uh but they're beautiful I I I'm a big fan like I say I'm a son of a florist so I've been called a son of something else but I'm definitely a son of a florist so I you can get real flowers but if you can't there are we live in a day and age where there are alternatives Anonymous recently pictures have been released from the farthest edges of the Galaxy why do you think Hashem is allowing this to be seen so I may have told this story recently I know he told it in one of my she uh Weinberg he says I said to my brother Rak of Weinberg rash and he he says I said to him jack he says how do we know we're right and he says what's your question so how do we know we're light and he kept saying to me what's your question what's your question I was getting frustrated and finally he he helped me he says us or who so I sat down and I thought about it and I realized Christianity is not a challenge to me Islam is not a challenge to me Shinu is not you know Buddhism Hinduism these things these are that what what's my challenge science says okay science yeah so he says fine so I'll give you things to to read we'll talk about it yeah um there are physicists who said that the theory of evolution the the purpose of it is to be able to give us an explanation how they could be a world without God I have an absolutely fascinating book that my nephew Ezra gave me he was on uh he was on the podcast uh doing the sares mirus he's also like a scientist and and a super genius and stuff and um I mean ever since he was a little kid was a little kid who used to just like read the encyclopedia from cover to cover I was like very smart guy anyway gave me this book from physicists and scientists discussing the existence of God and how the belief in a all powerful being is more logical than anything else science has to offer and so the more we study science I don't know if we ever talked about this but the Big Bang Theory was rejected by the majority of scientists until the 1970s when they had no choice and there was evidence presented why because the Big Bang Theory as I once heard Dr schroer say means that they figured out the the first three words of the Bible in the beginning means the universe began at some point the universe popped into existence and now you cannot fall back on what Aristotle said the universe is eternal it always was is and will be so I don't need God now we know at some point the universe began so now I have to ask where it came from so the more we understand the Godless of the Bria the more we understand that this could not have happened by chance there was a story with s Isaac Newton where he made a uh diarama of the the solar system and someone said wow this is unbelievable where'd you get this from he goes oh it was the craziest thing these two cats came in and they started fighting and they were knocked over you know the I had some string and I had some uh you know wire and and they built it say that's impossible some like this couldn't happen by by chance he says you mean a model of the solar system couldn't happen by chance but the solar system itself did so the more we get to understand the the more we see how unbelievable the universe is we have to ask ourselves yeah um Elohim is a contraction of two words me a where does this come from how does one understand this what's the existence of the world and you come to the conclusion has to be a so the more that we need that I believe the more opens up the secrets of the universe to us and that's it for this episode if you want to find out more about the about the show you can go to my website RAB ali.com and you can have a question you can sponsor an episode you can sponsor a question and answer you can sponsor a par and five you can um uh download our theme song you can sign up for one of our online shm and that's it for now until next time I am dski and this has been the rabbi olowski show it's the rabbi orlovski show Tor and S ready to go the rabbi orlovski show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme no we don't it's the rabbi orlovski show on Rabbi ori. comom Tor anytime YouTube and more it's Rabbi orlovski show Tor and S ready to go it's the rabbi orski show till next time till meet again it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show