Our Family, Our Strength - Principle #15: Building Credit - Rabbi Yirmiyahu Abramov

we continue with the twenty five basic principles of child rearing this is based on the book our family our strength that we've written so we're now in part on principle number fifteen building credit sometimes the person has a relationship with his bank with his bank manager and it's always good to be on the good side of one's bank manager now if this person is consistently making the efforts to make sure that his account is always in the positive making an effort to make sure that none of his checks bounced so he's built up for himself a good credit rating and if this continues he becomes a very well-liked customer favorite customer now if it should happen that he's going through a difficult patch since he has a history of good solid credit rating if here and there he fails and he comes the bank manager and says look things the gang of a tough do you mind if I go into overdraft I'm sorry I'm gonna say I need to issue a check that I know is not covered but please help me out on this since he's got a history and a good track record of positive credit writing the bank if he's a reasonable fellow if there's a decent relationship because of the credit that's been built up in the past he'll respect the momentary down periods now every time a parent does something positive for the child he's really which involves paid parental sacrifice self-sacrifice like the child forgets his sandwiches at home and he goes off to school for a long day and he forgot to take his lunch with him so some will say well if jolly will serves him right and let him sit and be hungry and he'll come home you won't do it again that's one approach I'm not sure if it's the right approach another approach will be to say okay well my sweet little child forgetful probably was focused something else was der is dreaming was thinking of something else left his lunch I'll go and take him to lunch and he goes and he brings the child the lunch and of course explains to the child not to let this become habitual he explains the child that this shouldn't happen again but the parent has put himself out for the child and the child knows this so the child recognize this and this is in a certain sense building up credit rating with a child the child sees that constantly over and over parents are putting themselves out for him parents will go and they'll pitch for him with his teacher even if he'd even if he necessarily doesn't deserve it but they'll go and be his advocate and they'll go and they'll intervene where necessary and they'll help him out with social issues they'll spend sit through the night if necessary when the child has some tests or some project to finish so every time the parent does an act of self-sacrifice he in a subtle way in it may not be always obvious but he's building a pro credit rating and it doesn't need to always be mentioned articulated we don't need to constantly be harping to our children you see what I do for you see what I do for you just we keep doing just keep lying our children with Hesed with loving kindness the child notes that subconsciously and this credit stands the parent in good stead when he's gotta meet at a punishment sometimes a child needs a punishment sometimes a child needs to be sanctioned he needs to be reprimanded and or sometimes we need to demand of the other child something which to him constitutes a great challenge so if the child really feels the parent love him and really feels that they've been putting themselves out for him and they've been sacrificing for him he'll much more readily accept to discipline he'll accept understand because he knows they've got a good credit rating so right now he's down there some down but he'll accept it and the parent was sometimes there is a need is a need for reprimand there's a need for modifying a child's behavior sometimes it's a painful experience to do it but child will understand in these deep subconscious that I know they're there for me I know they so beat they've been they are constantly so good and so much at my side that in a healthy relationship the child is less likely to build up resentment towards his parents when the if the parents have a good credit rating if the credit rating is good then the child will understand and will respect the fact that sometimes he needs to be sanctioned he'll respect that because in general overall the credit rating of the parents are good you