Overcoming Fears About Learning Chasidus | Letter #4 of 30 Letters in 30 Days

all right and Purim welcome to a special poor edition of 30 letters in 30 days what can you do you know within the 30 days of uh preparation for udolphness and it's kind of unavoidable it's always going to be poor even if it's an eBay or even an a leap year because the poor is always the second either so that's that's the way it is and uh so we'll try to infuse our uh learning tonight with a little extra Spirit of Adelaide if that's possible okay um tonight's letter Let's Just Jump Right In your test Brooklyn Shalom and I'm reading from the PDF that everyone can download at 30 letters 30days.com or at soulwords.org letters and if you're watching on YouTube the link that I just mentioned the links should be clickable there in the description below the video player and you can download this PDF and print it just like I did the exact same PDF I'm reading from okay so as I read just a minute ago in Hebrew uh by the grace of God the 25th day of tishray 5719 Brooklyn New York creating some blessings that I was writing to a man and that's all we know there's no name on the letter um for whatever reason sometimes the names were kept private um we are moving along chronologically if you remember our first letter of this uh of this project was the first letter of volume 19 of egress and it was from adivasana and we moved through the month of tishra now we're almost to the end of the month of tissue we're at Hoff hey and um here's the letter ve Main sukis ukis I'm hereby confirming receipt of the letter that you wrote to me on the first day of the intermediate days of the sukkas festival um just a thought I was having when I read this I know that people are often very careful about writing on kalamide unless it's something very important I don't know the circumstances but and and I don't have a resolution for you I'm just saying when I read egress and I'm trying to put together the pieces and I'm trying to relate to the the human context things like that jump off the page and I think to myself hmm why did this person write on on halamide not that it's impossible to do it just probably makes me think maybe with some type of they felt that it was an urgent issue um and and lest you say you know maybe it's not a religious person and they they're not aware of that issue it seems from the letter that this person is religious in fact the person is religious already but not Chabad and that is actually the focus of the letter it's about making that transition to becoming an official chabadnik but you'll see as we as we read on okay um it is understood from that which you wrote what did what did the person write that he's afraid the Cobb I shouldn't laugh he's afraid I'm I'm I'm I don't know why it's funny to me because a person wasn't joking I'll finish the sentence and I'll tell you the cute thing I was thinking of um he's afraid to accept upon himself to be um yeah I'll read the rest of the sentence in a second I was he says he's afraid to become again it's not funny but um there's a story very few people know that the actually went to the home of the SAT Mira of the divorayoil in 1954. it actually would have been 1953 because I really was touching your dollid kajman it was the end of 53. it was in a culture how do I know because people who were there say that they discussed whether Halloween has the din of a of a Hugga of a vedasada holiday as per the mission of the first mission in avedasada the submarov lost a daughter lay Elena that everyone to be manager Marvel and um so the story is as there ever was heading into the house somebody was coming out and this person's name was Zev gold and he was a love and he was a close associate of rav7 of Shlome yes of zevin who was one of the great tell me great Scholars of that era he was of course the author of the tamuna encyclopedia as well as the collection of uh Hasidic stories known as and he used to write to the rabbit quite often um about many issues including issues of uh very erudite scholarship he he sought to have his guidance to help him to clarify things that he was writing about at any rate so this this uh Zev gold was also something of a scholar and so he would look at the correspondences that avseven was receiving from the rabbit and he was very very impressed by the Reba's answers again they were discussing scholarly issues so it was it was that type of a conversation I know a lot of the egress that we read that I was guiding people in personal issues these were more of a scholarly nature these these correspondences at any rate so they said observe gold started to become very very captivated by the Rebecca style never having metadata in real life just knowing that ever from his letters not even letters that ever wrote to this Rabbi Golds but letters of the the rabbit wrote to Rabbi zavani rabbit gold was sort of uh privy to at any rate so that I was walking into the SAT motov's house and Rabbi gold is walking out and it's the first time Rabbi gold is seeing the debit in real life I guess it's in pictures so he recognized the dev immediately and he was sort of taken aback and he said uh I'm afraid I'm becoming you're hosted and never smiled a big smile had said why do you have to do it out of fear you could do the same thing out of love feel like you're afraid you're becoming my cousin you could you don't have to become my cousin out of fear you could become my my husband out of love and anyway that's that's it has this has nothing to do with this letter but it just that language rang a bell for me the the guy writes to the Reverend says I'm afraid I'm I'm afraid of becoming not I'm afraid of that I'm becoming although Maybe that's also the uh subtext is because I think the person was becoming and he was trying to fight it so but at any rate he wrote to the dev is quoting this person's letter and saying you wrote to me and said that you're afraid of becoming specifically in fact it's possible that this person was already some kind of other hasid I don't know I don't know it seems that they were pretty I'm pretty certain this person was religious uh on some level but not khabad um perhaps there were even some other type of a hasid but at any rate the person says I'm afraid of becoming why this is so great meet nay matalis oil coverage because it places upon him the heavy yoke of learning Sidis see I I love that that the guy knew that if you become a khabar has said you have to learn say this like how can you be a khabar did not learn to say this it's like you have to understand it's intellect so from from the very beginning of Chabad from from the times of the altadaba the whole approach of Chabad is is it's about Saga and learning things and internalizing it and so that's sort of part and parcel that sort of it is part and parcel of of the Chabad life so this guy knows I can't just become a cultural Chabad I can't just you know I'm not saying that this is what he was saying but for 2020 is it 23 oh my God for 2023 you know it can't just be barcelino and and Smirnoff and and schmaltering you know it's not a cultural thing say this Chabad means that you learn you learn this you learn my Modern menu you you you learn and he understood that and he wasn't really excited about getting started doing that so he told it I have a very um honestly I'm afraid to become a Chabad because I know if I'm gonna have to learn to say this and I'm not up for that not up for that he described it as an oil covet a a heavy yoke I'm not up for that burden I can't take that burden okay very interesting now I just want you to guess um do you think that ebb is going to tell him it's okay become a khabar khasid and don't learn to say this if that sounds Preposterous to you then I'm even suggesting that that's okay I'm not talking to you I'm talking to other people okay I want I want you to think about that because for some of us there is I'll use the the language that we use in learning there is such a Haba Amina okay maybe there is such a concept um is there such a concept as becoming Chabad and not learning so as we'll see from the latter that is not one of the suggestions that the Rebecca gives that is not a loophole that's not a way out doesn't even doesn't even get mentioned Okay so what's the response foreign there are many answers to this matter there's many answers not just one answer there's many answers but here are the main ones so that I was going to give a few answers but these are only the main ones there's a lot of other answers as well aleph first answer I love this answer less this is not meaning becoming having to learn kabad to see this is not placing upon him a new yoke it's not a new burden is Krishna because every single individual Jew twice a day accepts upon himself the Yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven as well as the Yoke of Mitzvahs when they say Shema talks about it the first you receive the oil then you receive the oil Mitzvahs but that's what the recitation of Shema is that's what do you think your your agreeing to when you say Shema you are agreeing to submit to the Yoke of Heaven the Heavenly Kingdom and the Yoke of mitzvahs Divine Authority and the specific uh wishes of the Divine Authority so that ABBA says like this you're afraid that becoming having to learn is is like adding more pressure to you that ever says like this I'm sorry to tell you the pressure's already on like just from the fact that you say Shema every day that's why I'm assuming this person is already religious so that I was saying like you already signed up like you don't you're not calling it being a khabar khasid but what you think that if you become a Chabad then you're gonna have to learn the truth is just from the fact that you say shma twice a day you have to learn I'll I'll just continue here a clear ruling of the of the mishnah in attracted chapter 2. um which I mentioned earlier there's a uh the Shema is uh is uh oil malchus and this study studies is actually a part of the elmitzus it's part of the package that you already accepted upon yourself now that ever doesn't explain explicitly how that's so I can deduce from other sources that perhaps it's part and parcel of the Mitzvahs of uh of amuna and Ava and yira and all the different Mitzvahs that have to do with with God Consciousness and how someone's supposed to perform those mitts if he doesn't study Pine so at any rate the Deb is saying you already signed up for this package whether you call yourself Chabad or not foreign since you accepted the general package you should know that the the general package includes within it the details as well so it's like you're getting nervous because now you're seeing the itemized building like oh I didn't order that but you kind of did because that's what you're signing up for when you say shma um just to interject my own commentary here but I love the fact that the first answer that Emma basically tells him that what he's afraid of is actually true I need to be afraid of it because it's not something that might happen it's something that already happened so you can stop being afraid of it happening it's it's already happened I I I I just I love that in so many ways but specifically one of the things that makes me think of is um one of my favorite Hawaiian names I think every hiyamian is one of my favorites but one of my favorite Hawaiian names of test Zion minakhamov where it talks about how the balship used to travel around and uh he used to uh be involved in in redeeming captives and and strengthening the observance of Torah and teaching this and uh what does it mean he was traveling around teaching us to this like why not just put up a a billboard and advertise see this is taught here and let everybody flocked let everyone flock to you why do you have to go out and go to them to teach them to this so the middle of the explained this is all part of this so the the mythlete I've explained like this he Saida that's the revealed negle the Torah the the exoteric I don't know if I ever saw the word exoteric used except in this context it's one of those fun words that we use one of those academic acidic words that we use from time to time at any rate the legalistic um that type of stuff gamada mostly so that aspect of Torah study the Midland ever says it's like water and people are drawn to water you know think about the fact that like most cities are built by bodies of water people want to be around water you pay a premium to be right up next to the water teaching niggler is something that attracts people it people want to learn a nice gishmachitosis you learn it and you toil and you get it and it's very very satisfying like a cool drink of water but uh pinemia satayra is compared to fire it's interesting the water and fire are opposites and two aspects of the Toyota are compared to to each of these so the the legal aspect of Toyota is like water cool drink of water very satisfying ah hits the spot but then panemia sauteeda is compared to fire and fire has the opposite effect on people fire scares people away people run from fire they don't run too fire they run from fire they run two water they run from fire so what are you supposed to do people are running away from this and and which this is the explanation of why the balsham especially in the early days of Sid this before it was a known thing he had to travel around and bring it to the people rather than just waiting for them to come to him so what are you supposed to do um about the fact that this is scary in other words let me just translate this you learn niggler and uh you make us see him and you're very proud I learned I accomplished and I have a hey look in Torah and it's a it's a good feeling you learn to say this and you find out that your nothing and you know not nothing nothing it's not an insult nothing it means that you are uh that you're separate entity that you thought was your true self is actually a false construct and really it has no ontological Independence and really you're one with the everything with the totality of all with a capital A so it's not nothing like it's not like an insult you're you're one with Hashem which is a beautiful thing but still it's a little bit different than the ego boost that you get from learning some gamada and making a seum and feeling very accomplished you learn to see this and it's like my separate selfhood sort of becomes dissolved into this much bigger picture so it is threatening it's at least to the ego it's threatening it's ego death so that's the fear I mean that's why it's fire that's why people are running from it because they're going to learn to say this and they're going to experience ego death so the mitlin says so what are you supposed to do about that uh you know bad bad marketing it's bad for marketing so he says gain some macabul so therefore the the person who teaches has to go to the one who's going to learn to this on zagonam and he has to tell him like this Hub cane made in it don't be afraid for the Lord your God is a consuming fire does that not blow you away you understand what that what just happened the guy's afraid of Sid this because he detects that it's fire in other words what does fire mean fire means it's going to consume me see water I take it into me and it fills my cells and it becomes part of me like I learned some new Glenn now I know some niggling I'm Fire doesn't go into me I go into it if you touch fire it doesn't become you you become it you become fuel for the fire which in this case means that you become one with the all as I was saying but it's still very threatening at least to the to the animal soul so the mitlin says when the guy picks up on it and he's like hold on a second if I'm going to continue learning to this it's gonna nullify my former sense of self so what are you supposed to tell them no no worry it's not going to happen you're going to learn this and you're gonna you're gonna remain a yes it's okay it'll leave your ego intact no you tell them the truth you tell them don't be afraid because the Lord your God is a consuming fire because consuming fire that's what I was afraid of I was afraid it was a fire was a fire now you're scared worse no but here's what it's saying at the end of the day buddy you can't you can't really wriggle out of this because Hashem your God is a consuming fire like you're afraid because you think see this is fire the Amish there is fire like you think uniquely it's just say this that's fire Hashem himself is fire in other words Hashem himself isn't there to enhance you to make you more of a separate entity God forbid no you were created as a separate entity so that you could be Movado that nullify yourself through willful surrender and become more Godly you should become more him not he should become more you you should become more him that's what fire is so the Lord your God is fire so you're afraid of the fire I got news for you you think it's Unique to say this it's not maybe it's more obvious within this or this but that's the very nature of having a relationship with Hashem a relationship with Hashem means that you will become consumed and converted into the light and the flame itself that's why that's one of my favorite how you aim games at any rate so it seems like in this ladder that is saying uh a similar thing which is that the guy says he's afraid to become a khabar khasid because of the the burden he calls it a yoke that will place upon him so the devil says yeah don't be afraid of that it already happened you're a yid you already have this obligation you already have this yoke so whether or not you formally signed up for it or not you have to know that it's actually part of the package deal that you're already part of so you can stop worrying about it it already happened okay I just love that answer love love love that answer okay that was Olive Bass the above mentioned or four mentioned uh yoke ain't it covered it's not so heavy He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother it's not so heavy cave and shaleem potatoes because learning cities like learning any aspect of Toyota you go progressively from light to heavy that's a very practical answer it's like why are you intimidating yourself opening up iron base and being like I can't make heads or tails of this thing hold on a second let's start slowly you start with a little say for my mother Yiddish if you can't read the other so you can read the translation but say from Yiddish by the way it was my modem that the Freedia cover wrote for a magazine called hakrivakadusha which was meant for the masses that everyone's called Rose Alex and told me that I I'm not he's my source I'm not sure where it was was where this was said but he told me that that ABBA called um at any rate so yeah you don't have to start with intense heavy stuff you'll start with easier stuff and you'll work your way up okay so practical answer all right gimmel well in the course of this progression as you are going from light to heavy as you're getting better and better at learning cities when you become more familiar with the subject matter you get used to the terms and the style of of thinking specifically Heros two things the um the the depth and the clarity the depth and the clarity so when you get more familiar with you're going to start to appreciate two aspects the depth of this and the bahiros the the clarity deep and it's clear and when that happens it's going to increase your desire to learn it and and the pleasure that you're going to have when you understand these matters that these two things basically the depth and the clarity when you'll start to appreciate it and you're going to enjoy it that's the operative word you're gonna have tynog in it it's going to transform something that you used to think of as a yoke into something that's very favorable and desired so the devil says yeah it might start off first of all you're going to start off easy start with training wheels but uh second of all as you get better and better at it it's not going to become a yoke anymore it's going to feel great you're going to love it you're going to enjoy it so if you're concerned about it being a burden trust me you know you just got to stick it out past the uh you know the learning curve and it's going to be very enjoyable and you're going to want to learn it you're going to enjoy learning it okay via Dua has sleeper now that ebba says and it's a known story it's a known story what's a known story a story about the alternative what is this known story about the altered when he was first publicizing his style of teaching meaning Chabad to the masses in white Russia and in Lithuania that was the geographical area where the altarebe had his influence as opposed to the other tamidya Magid were more centered in Poland and other areas so when the altareba was teaching first teaching his Chabad approach in that area and you should understand that that area specifically was a Bastion of histnagus so much so that the term Lithuanian came to mean not just the geography of of where these people lived but a certain approach even to this day the term litvac carries with a certain cultural a certain cultural connotations so that's and that's specifically where the altareba went because the Alta rabbit was he was niggler and Sidis Tanya and he could speak the language of these people who were very into into niggler and all the talmuda Magid were great you should know that every single one of them but the altered especially was able to speak like a roshishiva in the language that appealed to that to that culture so at any rate when the altareba was first revealing these teachings other glove he passed through a town called a stronghold Haman nagdim of the opponents us at that time later Neha the opponents to this style of teaching Torah and all the things that go with it the whole Civic uh world view and lifestyle so he went to shklav which was a stronghold of opposition it was not it was not friendly territory to say the least it was hostile territory he went up to the bhima in shul the basaknesses A godo on the Big Show sham there and in the voice of a song which was his uh tendency the altareba had a certain Lil to certain musical uh Melody that he would use often when he would speak and he said Hashem taste and see that Hashem is good and it says here in Yiddish un zet taste and see the ashami's butter is good how Hashem is good UB yes since his words came from the heart Heights it uh sparked flames of fire Hashem it entered the hearts of the listeners as the story was handed down generation after generation until our generation meaning this story was handed down by people who were there and saw it and they told others who told others until we have this story and what happened after he said this he stood up at the bhima and he said taimuru Hashem taste and see that Hashem is good so tens of young men ran after him the limited and afterwards they became involved in learning Taylor succeed this man and with the passage of time these guys who from all places who chased uh not chasing but they ran after the altareba they were running after him to to to join him to follow him these guys from who ran after the altarebita to become his his disciples they became the pillars of the Hasidic Community these guys all because the altareba said taste and you will see just taste that's what the dev is telling him just taste now says this is a known story where's the story now so I just want to mention that uh we don't plan these things we chose to do halik good tests of of egress this year um and we're going in chronological order and we're this letter like I said ishre has nothing to do overtly with Purim but I want to tell you something this is probably the most appropriate letter that we could have ever read on poor many people are aware of what was considered to be a most unique event in the Purim fabregans over the years 1958. that fabrangan started at 8 30. and it went till 5 30 sorry 8 30 p.m and went to 5 30 a.m was a nine hour fabrang the episode which was an hour long and it was generally known to be a fabregan full of what we call giloyum just Revelations of a whole different order even than that what was uh ordinarily revealed at now at this I think there were ten sirhas in the ninth Circa and maybe somebody can do the math and figure out what time it would have been three or four in the morning by that time did ever told a story What story did the rabbit tell this story this story the story of the altareba walking into the school the schulen's club and standing at the bhima and saying taimuru and the younger light running after him to become his disciples wanting an opportunity to Taste and to see the goodness so uh it's interesting because this letter is written your test it would have been just over seven months seven months and uh in 10 days 11 days after this fabregan so when the dev is saying it's known the story it was a fresh story that ever had just told the story at the previous purims fabrangen the fabrangin famous now there's nothing nothing like hearing the actual holy voice of the rabbit uh nothing can convey it no description can convey it so I just want to share with you hopefully the technical part of this is going to go smoothly for this I'm going to put on my headphones to make sure that I'm getting the right sound pad over here now you see you're gonna finally see what this thing this road Caster behind me is okay this is just a quick half a minute clip of the deba telling this excerpt of this story that went to the myths or the the stronghold of opposition in shklov he went to the bhima and he said taimuru and the younger light ran after him to embrace this okay foreign [Music] okay I have no words I have no words of commentary for that very special okay and again that that's the devil's holy voice on the on this night the night of Purim so there could be no more appropriate letter I think for tonight than this letter hmm and we know that when we are learning this letter that is speaking to us and that I was telling us this story taimuru and this Knight of form okay so the rabbit continues um dealing with this person's apprehensions about learning studies his other worry he's not going to be able to uh Focus if he's going to learn it's not going to be able to focus on his research I don't know if this person was some type of an academic sounds like maybe he was but he was involved in the things that we've that that required Focus some type of intellectual work so he's saying I can't learn to say this because you know my head is very into my research I just so I can't focus I won't be able to focus on my research if I start learning if I start learning through this so uh the number says you know the number doesn't really take that complaint very seriously whatever says you can just set aside time and if certainly in the early stages remember that was said you're going to learn it incrementally it's going to be a progression as far as you're getting more and more used to learning to this and enjoying more and more to this so at the beginning this is going to be enough at the beginning this is all you have to do is just to set up a set aside time that you're not doing your research certainly don't tell me you don't have any time where you're not doing your research okay so don't take away from your research don't take away from your research the times when you're not doing your research so then that's enough that you can learn to this during that time okay I think the Deb is hinting when he says in the first stages it's going to be enough that eventually the person will come to a point where he will probably start stealing from his research time and using it to uh pay his to this time you know the famous story that the guy asks his Rabbi says hi five minutes a day to learn what should I learn and as rabbit says this five minutes a day if you if you have five minutes you should learn to this guy says why and their obvious is because if you learn to this five minutes a day eventually you'll realize that you'll have far more than five minutes a day in which to learn Terror okay um so the devil says now regarding the fact that I'm repeating myself I don't know if that means in this letter itself or maybe there were previous correspondences uh and its importance regarding this Lima learning citizen it's in it's an importance like that I would say why why do I keep repeating this to you foreign because like like because I'm not sure if you should read this because we're all commanded to learn to see this because the river said that earlier that it's part of the oil Mitzvahs or maybe that I was saying because we're all commanded to and that doesn't say the word rebuke but that's the implication here we're commanded to correct someone else's Behavior Uh like I say just say again in such a situation what does it mean even a hundred times it's talking about rebuke the sages say that you have to try to correct somebody's Behavior even if you have to come back a hundred times and um by the way one of the meetings in 100 times is that you don't come out with both guns blazing you go gently and even if it take even if you have to do do it so gently that it takes a hundred times but you know you have to be committed to it in the long term you don't you're not going to win any hearts by coming on too strong but at any rate so that I was saying you know I I know I'm repeating myself a lot about this idea about I really want you to learn to consider this but it's it's important and uh if I have to remind you a hundred times so our sages have already told me that that may be what I have to do and I'm ready to do that if that's what's required okay so God willing in accordance with the content of this year's mixed of clawley that I would send out uh General letters McDon clallium to all the Jewish people during special uh points of the Year especially in conjunction with a with a yamtuff Rosh Hashanah being one of those times so the Reb is saying so in accordance with the the Titan in the the the teaching that was in the market of quality of Rosh Hashanah this year which would have only been a few weeks prior to this letter uh yes you're going to see these obstacles the obstacles you're talking about regarding the above mentioned topic about learning to this kamasia Hayne you're going to see it as it is right you're going to see them the obstacles as they are like you talk to me about these obstacles I I think if you'll look at the Merced it'll put things in perspective for you and you're going to start to realize that these obstacles that you're talking about you're afraid of becoming because you have to learn say this is extra burden it's too difficult you don't have time because you have to research all that stuff you're going to see those obstacles as they are zaysimedes and that means the deba spells it out very small very small these These are the these complaints you have their their trivial matters they're not totally uh non-existent but they're very very small matters and you're going to see the truth and because these things are so small you're going to see that if you make a strong commitment Khalil you're going to be able to completely uh get rid of these obstacles one good strong commitment is gonna be all it takes and all of these these issues that you're having about learning so this are going to disappear armor uh With Honor Steam and blessing awaiting good news in all of the above mentioned and that is our porm letter felican Purim again and we will see you tomorrow night for another letter