Parashat Tazria What's The Big Deal About Issur Karet?

we're not even looking for intimacy we're just looking for my wife to give me a drink we're looking for a hug maybe a peck on her cheek what's the big deal she just gave birth uh she wants me to pay attention to her what's the big deal the big deal is she still considered Nida and Nida is so the start with hem spoke to Moshe saying speak to the children of is of Israel saying when a woman conceives and gives birth to a male she shall be contaminated meaning Nida spiritual Nida uh for a 7-Day period uh as during the days of our separation uh uh and uh here we see that the uh uh sages talk about how when a woman gives birth the the biblical Tuma begins off right away for the if she gave a birth to a baby boy starts off with seven days then 33 more but with the girl it's 14 days uh and uh the say really was supposed to be 14 for both to start off plus more but because uh the wants the uh the wife to be spiritually pure at a certain level uh for the Brit he in essence shortened it for the the male boy because on the eth day she has to do a Brit but again the T the impurity as far as n doesn't stop after a week doesn't stop after a week and in fact uh the uh the is today in and R and everywhere else across the board has been accepted the uh the combining of both the biblical obligation as well as some rabinal uh is that once a woman is a stop the the bleeding and she has the seven clean days and she goes to the mik this could take a month and a half this can take two three months uh it all depends on uh your body it depends on the doctor you went to that I've mentioned in the past but the point being is is that uh the tat tells us that there is a very important law to know in regards to this particular time of your life where you just uh you know gave birth uh you know you there's a very very big thing that just happened but at the same token there are laws to know there are laws to know during this time and one of the main things that a person needs to check for is who are they getting their information from who are they getting their information from when it comes to the tah are they getting it from somebody that's just uh looking to be liked looking to uh uh you know uh uh have them uh you know agree with with each other all the time looking for the socalled fake Unity that we have in the world or someone that is true to the Torah itself and is more concerned about your n your soul then perhaps you may even realize and what happens is is that sometimes when people go to multiple sources sometimes it's because they don't have patience to get the answers sometimes because they didn't get the answer that they want sometimes just convenience somebody's in front of them he acts like a rabbi he even calls himself a rabbi may even have a Sho and you ask him a question and the rabbi you know just uh shoots from the hip and gives you the answer and you say figure if he's a rabbi he gave me this answer uh it should be fine now that with tens of thousands of students around the world you get to get a lot of questions a lot of experience a lot of people a lot of strange stories and uh this is a uh one of the things that I've seen in multiple times where people ask uh family Purity uh questions uh simply from the wrong people simply from the wrong people people that have no many times no knowledge either uh and they simply give you the wrong information because the Torah speaks about the issues of n there's an entire track dat in the called the sages talk about the issues of where the talks about the issues of where if a man is is uh with his wife when she's n if they're intimate it's but it's not just that uh in fact it's a somebody says listen we're not you know my wife just gave birth we're not necessarily looking to be intimate but we just want to go back back to normal why you know the wife wants him to hug her he wants to hug you know he wants to to hold her hand take the baby from her what's the big deal well the ra ra in chapter 21 number 14 that it's forbidden for a man to engage in relations with his wife in the marketplace and streets and Gardens this is a uh uh um uh obvious obvious uh information that everybody uh understands but the uh the things that perhaps not everybody understands is that in the same in in chapter 12 in Al number uh 18 is uh not so obvious not so obvious what that a man is forbidden to embrace that very same wife that he's allowed to be with but not you know not in the open and so on he's not allowed to embrace his wife during these seven SP L days you know when she still need uh even if she has clothes on and furthermore in number 19 that uh it's a it's important for a person to know that uh this uh this uh sin is punishable by and may perform meaning his wife may perform any task uh which a wife would typically perform for a husband except washing his face hands feet pouring him a drink uh spreading out his bed in his presence uh she's allowed to fix his bed if he's not home uh but if he's uh but if he's there then this could be problematic uh she should not eat with him uh from the same plate nor should he touch her flesh now and this goes on you know with uh with more details the ramban brings now the point being is is that you have certain things that are obvious common sense you know that you're not GNA you don't have to do anything uh uh uh you don't have to be a big genius to know uh that uh you know being even with your own wife in the open is is forbidden but there are certain things that perhaps don't make common sense to the average person where it says okay we're private we're not even looking for intimacy we're just looking for my wife to give me a drink we're looking for a hug maybe a peck on her cheek what's the big deal she just gave birth uh she wants me to pay attention to her what's the big deal the big deal is she still considered Nida and Nida is it's a sin that is one of the worst things you can possibly do to yourself during this life and needless to say after this life now when you are going to ask questions of people you have to make sure that not only do they know these things that I just mentioned to to you know like the back of their hand but even more so they have enough fear of the almighty fear of Heaven that they're not going to change the truth just in order to appease you because what ends up happening is that sometimes people will tell you something they may not know the information they're not so sure what the answer is and they'll simply you know they don't want to look bad so they'll give you whatever answer makes sense or they don't want you to feel bad because they decided for you that you can't handle the truth so they'll you know change the truth for you and all types of things that happen and just recently I had multiple uh uh students that brought children to the world and literally one after another has different issues with with the uh the source of information that they have where people are telling them the wrong thing you know in one particular obnoxious case uh where uh I love these students but the people that the sends them literally are like uh uh just the most bizarre people in the world why I'll tell you dear student of ours couple that was wonderful people smart people clever people and so they always double check with us simple the husband went to the uh synagogue and was uh simply asking listen uh in regards to uh Nida uh you know my wife just gave birth but you know she uh stopped uh bleeding already and uh we figured uh you know is it okay uh we've already counted a you know uh uh you know a certain amount of time and we figured is it okay for her to go to the mik this Joker that they asked whoever he was decided that uh you know he's going to create a new answer for them what did he say listen tonight see if uh if everything is a uh is okay uh you go to the mikve but don't don't uh you know have any relations together meaning she should go to the mik he you know in essence she's ready to go to the mik according to this Joker she's ready to go to the mikve but don't be intimate if everything is okay again tomorrow then you guys could be intimate now this rule that he just said was created probably in some bathroom uh was created in I don't know some type of toilet because it's not in the Torah there is no such thing the second a woman goes to the mik she's 100% permitted to our husband there is no such thing as weight there is no weight in fact it is of special importance for the couple to have intimacy on the night the wife dips in a mi it's not there is no such thing as dipping a mik but just in case don't uh uh don't go to uh don't be intimate you could just act normal you can hug each other kiss each other but uh wait till tomorrow to see what happens this uh is is one of the things that really infuriated me because uh not on the students but on this this this this clown that decided to P in some toilet paper and call it Torah because what is he doing really number one which is he just changed the T he has no share of the world to come his if they would have followed him I mean he's punished he's going to be punished anyway but if they actually followed him he would have literally had no chance whatsoever of ever recovering because there is no way of doing cha for such a thing uh so because what would he have done he would have actually LED this couple to have a sin of K this is like it's not like a uh you know oh I fell accidentally and I I know I broke my toe no this is oh I fell and I killed 50 people okay this is this is the magnitude of difference here this guy decided to create an say go to the mik wait till tomorrow he changed the Torah second of all he led a couple to nearly sin and he and if it wasn't for they for their fear of heaven and them double-checking with me and uh being able to answer them right away tell them do not listen to this person this whatever he's saying it makes no sense whatsoever you'll never find it in any book whatsoever it's literally uh it's it's it's toilet paper I cannot insult it enough I cannot insult it enough and it's important for a person to know that if you're going to ask these types of questions when it comes to family Purity it's of utmost importance it was so important that is he was the one that would check Thea to see if a woman is pure or not to be able to be with a husband or not that's how important it was that's how important it is to make sure that a woman is pure or not pure for her wife because this is something you don't play with this is something you don't play with or other times at least on a half a dozen to probably even a dozen cases that have had in recent recent times people ask me of this new tradition people have what do they have checking the Bika cloth uh on a uh on a phone picture they take a picture of the Bika and they uh text message it uh to to some clown and he's going to tell tell him if she's nidah or not if it's if it's clean or if it's not clean there is no such permission you have to look at Thea cloth according to with your own eye the actual thing not a picture of it because there are specific colors that there is no way in the world that you can know for sure that the camera took or it is is is correct or not you have to know when you're learning these you have to know certain colors or not I remember I told you guys a story somebody uh tried to uh be clever and uh uh you know teston moson m is the he's extraordinary one of the head rabbis of and also one of the head rabbis that have supported a lot of our work over the years raon m is probably the uh you know top expert in the world when it comes to the issues of and one time a person wanted to test them why people are annoying they like to test rabbis especially when they that are very humble so he brought them he says listen I wanted to ask the rabbi what does the rabbi uh think is my wife Pure or not pure Ron looks at this he says oh you should take your wife to the dentist what there's people there what do you mean dentist he says this is from her tooth the guy's face turned whiter than white now of course that seen this look tooth what tooth what tooth but then they look at the guy and they realize it's true the guy was playing a joke just to see if the rabbi knows what he's doing so something I guess May perhaps she she bleeding from a gums or something or whatever it is and he put it on ABA cloth to see if the rabbi can tell the difference between that blood and that blood not only could he tell not only could he tell but when you understand the wisdom that's required for such things you understand you don't play games with this you don't send a a uh a WhatsApp picture and say hey rabbi uh it's okay for me to be my husband you have to understand these things have to uh require patience require uh expertise and if you do not have the patience you are going to literally create spiritual in your life that can cause a lot of problems so already in the beginning of this par we realized that there are laws even at that time when people are perhaps more emotional than usual the Torah does not take a break there's a lot of really cool stuff on our websites uh new features uh and a lot more projects that are on the way that will help get closer to to publicize name and know that he is the one and only God