Proud to be Jewish (New York )

[Music] great to be here in New York at it's the first time we're here uh and I know that there's a uh a lot of people looking for the truth but of course on one end we see from uhph the book of Deuteronomy hasem says if you look for me you'll find me but only if you look for me with all of your heart and all of your soul meaning if you look forem seriously you'll find AEM no questions asked doesn't matter if you're born into a FR family just you don't have yet or you're born into a secular family and your parents are atheist or if anything that's in your life doesn't make a difference even if you come from a completely different religion says you look for me you'll find me on the other end the yet needs his employees every single time we make aah we create an angel every single time we make an we create a demon says that if the person was able to see all the things they created that are standing right next to him he'd lose his mind so that's why hasm doesn't allow us to see everything that's really next to us why because we' be able to see all the demons we created and all the angels we created it's too scary for us so now every time somebody does Chua of course they're going to make more MIT they're going to make more Angels now somebody does serious Chua what does he want to do he wants to make other people do Chua so what happens says hey you're stealing my employees all these demons are my employees all of these people that create the demons they're my best employees so now you're stealing my employees so what happens is when someone is looking for the truth Hashem is also going to allow the yet to give him a few distractions make him lay to the lecture flat tires all types of things the key is to be able to overcome the test now a few things that I wanted to talk about we'll be able to cover all of it one of the main things that I remember from my childhood is that you know we're always happy to be Jewish we're always proud to be Jewish um you know never hate the fact that I was Jewish someone would ask you where are you from you tell them you're proud to say oh you're from Israel if you uh go to bees that once or twice a year when you're not religious someone asks you oh what's the day one of the uh non-jewish friends asked you what's today where are you going why you dressed up in a suit when you're 15 years old or 12 years old tomorrow it's our holiday you know you're not you're not ashamed of it so on a grand scope of things most Jews are proud to be Jewish the problem is that most of us don't really know what it means to be Jewish so we think that to be proud to be Jewish means that you're a as long as you support Israel modern day Israel You're a proud Zionist that means you're a proud Jew as long as you go to synagogue a few times a year you're proud to be Jewish as long as maybe you wear a keeper when you do kid you're proud to be Jewish as long as as you answer I'm Jewish when someone ask you are you Jewish you're proud to be Jewish but the reality of it is that that's not necessarily it how do we know before am Isel arrived to mount sa Judaism did not exist before that we were called Israelites there was a nation that were all the descendants of and yob another name for yob was Israel who were all As descendants and we were all Israelites when did we become Jews became Jews at Mount Si now this is only 7 weeks plus one day after we left Egypt what changed couple of months ago we're in Egypt surrounded by idol worship and some of us ourselves were worshiping Idols next thing you know Hashem splits the ocean takes us a couple of months on the road we get to this mountain and all of a sudden we are our own people we're now called Jews what happened so in PES we're all going to arrive and going to talk about the we're going to talk about being slaves in Egypt eventually being being free and eventually becoming the nation that we are the key is to truly understand what actually happens to make us the nation the nation that we are as we mentioned when we were still talking before the uh tape went on is thatat says that when arrived at Mount sa the whole purpose was to give us the tah and The Story Goes that when we got the Tah it was after hasem went to all of the Nations and offered them the Tor and said listen do you want the Torah they said what what's in it he said oh it means you you know it says that you're not allowed to steal no not for us goes to the next Nation what's in it they said what's you know he said oh do not murder oh we like to murder not for us soem came to the Jews they said how much does it cost he said it's free we said all right we'll take two but The Story Goes we said give it to us you know we'll we'll uh we'll do and then we'll hear what it actually says there's a few details we're missing out of this story because the gar says that before the nation of Israel arrived at Mount saai all of the angels that serve hasem including the angel that is the angel of Earth the planet Earth is actually an angel while shaking out of fear asks what are they scared of giant Angel called Earth where is he scared of who's beating him up kazal says they were all all scared that when hasem would ask us do you want the Torah and we'd say no why because when hasem gave us the Torah gave us created the world on the sixth day he changed something if you notice in every time he ends the first day of creation he says y first day second day third day like at the end of each day it was evening it was morning uh end of the first day end of second day and so on but when it comes to Y it says y the Friday so kazal says why is there an extra letter there's an extra letter in the Torah how could it be AEM is perfect hasm is divine has an extra letter where he couldn't just say y it's the same thing so comes they used to be the number one gangster in the world became a giant says that extra letter that's the deal what deal the extra letter of hey stands for the number five what's five five books of Moses that's the deal that Hashem made with the angel of Earth and he said one day I'm going to give the five books of Moses to the nation of Israel and I'm going to give it to them on Shabbat that way they can learn these five books of Moses specific specifically on Shabbat but there's one condition to the deal if they don't want to accept these five books of Moses I'm bringing back everything to before you I'm destroying the world because the only reason I created you and everything else is for them to accept the Torah so the continues and says that when am Isel arrived finally at Mount SA and all of the Angels were shaking because they didn't know if they're going to say yes they weren't sure how are they going to know it's free choice hasem made sure that they know it's not necessarily free choice like we think of free choice free choice like we think is free choice like you either come to the sh or you don't come to the sh if you come to this you're going to learn some you don't come to this you do something else you watch the game you drink some coffee you smoke with your friends you do something else the guy that's giving the lecture is not going to go find you and beat you up want to come to come you don't want to come to don't come to but here hasem says listen since the entire creation is dependent on this day on them accepting it one of the sages says it can't be free choice it has to be a choice where they need to know what the consequences are soem made a miracle hasem made Mount become like a where instead of being straight Mountain it started covering it bent over and am was under it that's why it says that am was under the mountain not next to the mountain Under the Mountain usually when you go to a mountain you're next to the mountain or on top of the mountain you're never Under the Mountain because there's no under but here we all stood millions and millions of people next to the mountain but now they just became under how did it become under Hashem made nature go beyond nature and Essence bent the mountain and it turned into being like a and Rish continues and he says thism said to said this is our wedding day if you accepted the Tor this is our we get married I'm going to be loyal to you you're going to be loyal to me I'm going to fulfill the promise that I made to abov and I'm never going to destroy you I'm never going to let anyone else destroy you he didn't say I'm not going to let you suffer he didn't say I'm not going to let you go through suffering he just said he won't let us destroy ourselves in this we will always exist fulfill the promise that I made toob we're married you're my firstborn child I love you and I'll do everything that's necessary for you to have every opportunity to succeed individually and as a nation if you don't accept the Torah fine this is where you're going to die how the will be disconnected from the mountain and fall on top of everyone this will be your burial ground he says soal says what kind of choice is this it's not really free choice to either get married or get killed sounds uh more like Isis soal explains what did you think Hashem is going to leave everyone's existence everyone's destiny everyone's Fortune everyone's everything up the chance who wants a god like this if he does you can't leave it up the chance he says listen I created all of it for you you want to be married to me fine you don't I don't need anything I'm perfect anyway and anyone that really is a and anyone that's really thinks about this realized that it's much more realistic than the story we heard as kids we got the Torah we could choose it we cannot choose it that sounds like a nice nice story but it doesn't sound realistic and this is one of the reasons one of the foundational reasons that disconnects am until today from the truth we all all believe that it's a choice we all believe that it's okay if you listen to hem it's okay if you don't listen he loves you anyway it's not true yes you're his son yes you're his daughter but if you follow his he calls you means my lovers at the end of he says the ones that are my lovers I'll pay them reward for thousands of generations and he gives him a name meaning my lovers which are the ones that observe my Commandments to my haters I'll pay them their reward I'll pay them cash to their face to destroy them so now we learned something everything has an opposite lovers haters if lovers Hashem defined himself are the ones that keep his Covenant that keep his mitvah then haters are the opposite so yes you're always his child you're always his creation it doesn't mean he loves you means he's going to give you opportunity he's going to give you an opportunity to be AB he's going to give you an opportunity to be sahu he's going to give you an opportunity to be the greatest you can possibly be but if you don't do it it's your loss not his and that's one of the things that we fail to understand we think that Hashem is just going to accept us as we are accept me as I am like as if we're doing him a favor and I think once we actually start learning this g once we start learning this oral tah it changes our perspective of what it really means to be a proud Jew because a proud Jew has to be a Jew to begin with now the one thing that changed at Mount sa is that we became Jews how by receiving this Torah which means if Shalom we didn't then hasem would have given a Torah to someone else and they would have become the Jews and we would still be Israelites if we if hasm didn't kill us point being is that the only thing that makes a Jew a Jew is whether they follow the Torah if they follow the tah you're a Jew you don't follow the T you fail to fulfill your mission as a Jew and therefore exclude yourself from the nation this is why in the r and all of the books previous to this generation that were written about like Shabbat the foundation of Judaism it says in in seven different places it says in the written Torah over 12 times it says in all of the books that any Jew Natural Born Jew had a Jewish mother and qualifies to be a Jew that violates Shabbat on purpose drives on Shabbat knowing it Shabbat smokes a cigarette on Shabbat knowing it's Shabbat does any of the 39 restrictions that Hashem says do not do he's excluding himself from the nation of Israel he's now no longer considered Jewish he's now considered 100% Idol worshipper meaning they just went from being the chosen people to the worst people on earth now they don't feel a difference they don't feel a difference it's not like one day you feel great because you kept Shabbat and the next day you're sick CU you didn't keep Shabbat you don't feel a difference it's a spiritual change but the key is that when they're naturally born Jewish they have a privilege the privilege is that if they want to go back to being Jewish and remove themselves from suspension all they have to do is start keeping Shabbat it's very easy to remove yourself from that suspension but until that time that Judaism is on suspension now if a non-jew wants to be a Jew like the three students that I brought to New York they all finish their conversion all they have to do is accepted the Torah that's it they have to to do the same thing that all of our decided to do in Mount sa Hashem says you want the Torah we said yes finished you go to a simple process they ask a few questions you go to a mik but in reality the basic process it's a spiritual decision the key is to understand what you have to do after you accepted yourself as a Jew to call yourself a proud Jew that means you have to be a Jew all the time not just sometimes and that's where we get in trouble that's where the FR from birth have a problem that's where the Bala have a problem that's where the seculars have a problem we all have the same problem we all think that we're proud Jews but at the same time we don't really want to show that were Jewish all the time so for example you ever notice that when the Arabs pray to their false Messiah Muhammad they still pray to the same God they call him Allah but in essence they have a faulty religion that tries to take some of the MIT and turn them into something new but you ever noticed that when they pray they don't count anybody it's time to pray one of their five times a day to pray they'll take their carpet put it in the middle of the street and start praying they don't care who's watching they don't care who who's saying anything nothing they don't care you see them in the middle of Midtown Manhattan hundreds of them leave their huts and get out and uh leave the trucks leave the hot dogs leave all the stands they go in the middle of the street stop traffic hundred of them start praying in the middle of the street start bowing and praying no no nothing no shame there they're what do you mean we're praying to God we're praying to Allah why should it be ashame this believe it or not is one of their this believe it or not is one of their merits they're proud to be what they are they're proud to pray to God this is actually a on us this is something that's against us why cuz we pray we pray like we're supposed to but sometimes we're in a situation we have to pray in public so for example when you have an early flight like I did yesterday you have an early flight so you can't go to beet you're not going to make it in time so you have to pray at the airport so what do the Jews do sometimes we all find this corner you ever notice it's like you know 7:00 flight 700 in the morning flight 6:00 in the morning FL flight and it's like you know two three religious Jews praying all the way in the corner like hiding on one hand they don't want to distracted which is not necessarily a bad thing but on the second is a little bit of like discomfort anyone that's ever prayed in public feels that there's a little bit of discomfort like you know I'm doing what I need to do but I'm surrounded by a bunch of people that may not like me that may like me that may think it's this that may think is that we start we think even for a second what everybody else thinks sometimes I remember when I first started and I used to fly a lot and uh I started thinking oh you know what no maybe they're going to think uh I don't like them maybe they're going to think that I think I'm better than them I start my will start creating different in my mind of why maybe I should delay this prayer and pray after I land okay so it's not really the best time I should really should be praying at 6:00 in the morning and not at 11: when I land but it's still a prayer like I'm doing hasm a favor like my prayer is good enough already why because I have some shame I'm really not that proud of my prayer to pray in public the Arab middle of the flight will do it middle of the street will do it the youw in the corner so how did I beat this yet so I started thinking about it said wait a minute if AEM is AEM he's AEM all the time not just sometimes and hasem said that the Jews are the chosen people I'm one of them Hashem also said that one day all of these children they're going to have a go they're going to have a mashiah come he's going to beat all their enemies he's going to save everyone there's not going to be any more war he's going to fight off all the enemies it's going to be salvation it's going to be great it's going to be amazing all the righteous Jews all the ones that keep Shabbat all the ones that keep mitv all the ones that are not evil people all the ones that are actually doing what Hashem says they get saved what's the mashia going to look like he's not going to look like sent he's not going to look like a uh one of the rappers on TV he's not going to be Muslim he's not going to be Christian he's not going to be Buddhist he's not going to be Mormon what's he going to look like he's going to look like a Jew what does a Jew look like Jew looks like he has he hasit I said oh so me praying in public I should be praying in the middle of the airport why at least I'm showing everybody what the mashiah is going to look like so that's what I do now I pray exactly where I sit right you know a you wait everything wherever I sit I don't go to the corner I don't go anywhere I go exactly where I am in the middle of everyone cuz I figur to myself listen at least you guys are going to know what the real mhia is going to look like and in the beginning was very hard cuz you the beginning you still have your stot in your mind oh maybe they're looking at maybe this maybe that but then once you start praying you start praying start praying eventually you get to a point where the leaves every time I try to convince this guy do something he does the exact opposite okay I'm going to leave him alone and you get to a point where you start becoming proud of being a Jew cuz in reality what are you so scared of you're the one that's in the right we made a new poster today sent it out had a thought that somebody um that just started doing start covering her hair with a scarf and uh she says listen I'm meeting my friend I haven't seen her in a really long time the last time she saw me she saw my real hair the way she knows me with all my real hair now I have K I'm going to look strange to her pray for me okay I'll pray but then I started thinking about it wait a minute what are you so ashamed of do you realize that you're the daughter of Hashem do you realize that hasem is is the king of kings do you realize that that makes you a princess do you realize that when she notices to your princess at least she should say thank you because when it comes down to it everyone that buys something fancy everyone that has something beautiful what do they want to do with it they want to show it to everybody so for example if you bought a fancy car why'd you buy a fancy car are you really going to drive 180 M hour no you're going to drive very same speed with the $50,000 car as you will with the $155,000 car or the same thing as the $200,000 car but when you drive your Ferrari you want everyone to say hey nice car man nice car you buy a big house not because you really need the whole house you're single you have you know two kids and a dog you don't need a 18 bedroom house why do you have an 18 bedroom house CU you want anybody to say hey nice house man nice house wow what a beautiful kitchen how much it cost you $200,000 to make this kitchen wow what you cooking 24 hours a day in this kitchen you know you never cooked a day in your life you don't even know how to cook but you have a $200,000 kitchen so when the cook comes you has something to cook with the guy that buys the $500 $500,000 car he doesn't even drive has a driver why does he have this fancy car so somebody says hey nice car hey nice house the whole point of all theot material stuff is so someone acknowledge it someone says Hey wow nice stuff so I said the of a woman The Keeper of the man the exterior look that a Jew has has all the reasons in the world for you to be proud of it it shows the world your father's God it shows the world that you're a princess or a prince so when someone says hey you're Jewish say yeah thanks for noticing you should say thank you oh wow you became religious yes thank God I woke up don't be one of these people that says oh yeah yeah I'm trying like you know you're not sure how they're going to take it you know you just started wearing modest clothes like oh what happened to you what's what's with the clothes you're like not sure what to say oh no you know it's just it's cold outside that's 87° what cold outside you sick something wrong with you no why you ashamed all you're doing is you're showing your stuff you're showing your dad is what are you so ashamed of someone finally acknowledged your nice stuff what do you show ashamed of the keeper you have a crown on your head you ever see a King Without a Crown what kind of King is that so that's one of the things that we fail at consistently and one of the reasons is because instead of looking at the tah as our mirror we look at the go so as many many of us want to be going I remember as a kid we came to America I was 10 years old within no time I want to be like my friends depend on your environment huh depend on your environment right the key is that most of the environment in the galut you're NE you're going to be like you're going to be like the uh the people that are if you're going to be in the middle of Africa where all the people are wearing underwear as their only clothing then you're going to want to be like them too if you're going to be in America where there's 350 million Christians and Catholics you're going to want to be like them the key is to forget about your environment doesn't matter whether you live in P block it doesn't matter whether you live in Harlem it doesn't matter whether you live in Brooklyn it doesn't matter whether you live anywhere the key is that you're looking in the wrong place the only mirror you should have is called this is the only instruction set that you should have what does it say in a SE seph says you need to be modest whether you're male or female you need to be modest now it doesn't say you have to wear black and white it doesn't say that you have to look bad it doesn't say that you have to do anything specific it just says you have to be modest so if your clothing is not modest you're making a sin from the tah just like eating pork is a sin from the tah being not modest is Sin from the Torah now there's a big difference between the sin that a man makes his immodest and a woman makes his immodest when a man is immodest for example when they wear these um what are they called skinny jeans those jeans that people wear whichat means disgusting to hasem where they want to show everybody their uh genitals and the rest of their body like as if they're runway models like uh um this is a serious problem this doesn't look this is this is not only a m this is not the clothing of the of the non-jews but aside from that the only people that ever wore these skinny jeans in the past were Nazi Germany so if you look at the history I have a picture comparing skin skinny jeans to Nazi pens picture speaks a thousand words we don't look at history so we ignore it but on top of that it's not modest supposed to look like a respectable person doesn't necessarily mean you have to wear black and white suit all the time we have to look a respectable person even if you're wearing a sweatshirt it's fine as long as it's you look like a respectable human being where if showed himself to you you're presentable this is obviously assuming that you're uh you know if you're working let's say for example in a uh junk removal business like one of my uh one of my students he can't necessarily smell like roses at all times because he's in junk removal all the time but whenever he's at a time where he's praying whenever he's at a time where he's learning he drives his best to look presentable he's not wearing a tank top so the key is for a man is to be modest now when a man is not modest the only thing he does is that he is sinning directly against theem and it doesn't look good because he removes the from himself meaning that when AEM wants to show up at a place and he wants to listen to his prayer he has he's putting a shield between him and the ramb in said that what was the difference between mosenu and all of the other prophets why does it say that mosenu was able to speak to Hashem face to face but it didn't say that on any of the other prophets he said because mosenu eliminated all of his bad midot each and every single one of them that's considered a wall between us and Hashem getting to a point that the only different the only separation between mosu and AEM was like a blurry mirror blurry uh glass where he was able to see something that's not 100% clear whereas everyone else had tens and tens of walls obviously abob less and less but the pointed that all walls that was separating them whereas M had something like a blurry piece of glass he worked on his mid and fixed himself to such an extent that there was nothing separating him between other than the fact that he was still a human being and hasem said no human being can see me and live so now when a man is not modest he's automatically putting a giant Grand you know Grand Canyon size wall between him and Hashem this is just even from when he's learning or when he's praying to hm which is the best time in the world to have no walls whatsoever the problem with the woman is even worse and the reason why is because a woman was created with the ability to attract her surroundings meaning that when a woman is not modest immediately she grabs the attention of every single person that's next to her man or woman which means that just our natural inclination is to look as a reflex to its immodesty that's what inside us that's what he does you'll ever notice if you're let's say for example you're if you spend any time on the internet internet unfortunately has commercials and all types of immodesty unless you have guard your eyes or some type of program that covers you know all these things so you'll see yourself men or woman immediately look towards immodesty there's a bunch of friends suggested to you on on Facebook immediately you're looking at the naked girl you're walking in the middle of the street in the middle of New York there's thousands and thousands of people but the only one you can remember and see is the one that's half naked this is your yet and this is for men and for women only difference is that it's worse for men to look at it because men continue this thought the woman is just thinking about oh you know what she really shouldn't wear that or she starts evaluating her clothing and her look as a challenge a man on the other hand starts starts thinking about her completely naked thinking about her doing something with her and it continues to such an extent that he can get to a point of thinking about this half naked girl when he's intimate with his own wife and there's some sages that say something very scary they say that if he's thinking about another woman when he's intimate with his wife his son is is a sa Mel which is horrific point being is that a man shouldn't put himself in such a circumstance to look at another girl that's not his wife but the problem is he has one sin the girl has thousands of sin the girl that actually dressed IM modestly every single person I looked at her is sinning and every s single time they sinned and use her as a memory it goes into her account meaning that just going from the house to the store she can collect millions of sins she shows up to sh tell don't even look at the MIT place just look at the a there's no way she made that many MIT being Im so there's a very very big difference in uh the way uh modesty affects women as it does men but this is also the reason why modesty a modest woman the number one mitvah for her is the number one mitvah for the she's not obligated to learn to the same way that a man is she's not obligated to lay like a man is she's not obligated to do a lot of the like a man is so gave her a few foundational MIT that's everything for her modesty is 60% so a woman that's not modest unfortunately she can't pass the test she could give she could be said she can keep Shabbat she keep kosher she can say from morning to night she walks around IM modest she causes other people to sin it's too many sins to to overcome so now when going back to the original discussion of being proud to be a Jew being proud to be a Jew means that you have to make sure that your exterior matches your interior you can't say listen I'm a sadik inside or sadik inside but outside I look like go outside it looked like I just came out of some Discovery Channel episode outside you know you have to look at a respectable human being and inside you have to be a respectable human being the two can't be you know opposites so when you're a man you have to be modest when you're a woman you have to be modest so that's the most important part so when anyone thinks that in order to be religious you have to wear black and white or a woman always has to wear black that's not true you could wear colors as a Woman They just can't be colors to such an extent like red which grabs attention where even if it's a modest dress that's red it's still going to grab too much attention which is not modest so the key is to blend in you're allowed to look beautiful but the main Beauty has to be for your husband not for uh Jose and uh Steven from the uh Supermarket so first part of modesty is to make sure that the World At Large looks at you and see a Jew looks at you and see a Jewish woman that's the first way that you know I'm proud to be a Jew to say that you're a Jew just because you to go to be or just because you donate some money that doesn't make you a Jew go also donate money go also go to church it's not there's no credit to you on that so the first and most important thing is to make sure that you are a Jew exterior and it's easy to notice that shows that you're proud the second thing is is that you actually qualify as Jew meaning that you're actually fulfilling the Tor and it's using it as a guide before every single decision that you make now if your opinion your own opinion is your number one driver unfortunately you're going to have a very hard time being a proud Jew and the reason why is because your opinion is motivated by the yet and the yet is going to do everything and anything he can and to motivate you to do the opposite of what hasm wants you to do because like we said in the beginning every time you do the opposite of what wants you to do you created Soldier for the that's why the I believe it's in and also one other place uh says that is like a z it's like a fly on your heart why a fly on your heart because no many no matter how many times you sh him away he keeps coming back you beat him on this test you got to this sh he comes back tomorrow when the next year you're supposed to come to you beating today you prayed on time he comes back to you on the next prayer he says no don't pray this one m is not that important you beat him on he comes to be on you beat him on he says don't do you beat him on the prayers he comes to you says don't learn you're too tired go watch a movie instead and relax go hang out with this go do this he gives you all he constantly coming back and he's never going to let it go the only way to beat him is first and foremost to know that he exists second eliminate your own opinion eliminate your own opinion I know this sounds strange and not politically correct people love to have their own opinion people think that their opinion is very very valuable but your opinion is going to get you in trouble simply said your opinion is going to get you further and further from until you get to a point where your opinion is synonymous with hashem's opinion where you by default know what hashem's opinion is what Hashem said about the subject try to eliminate your opinion altogether if someone wants to be a big deal somebody wants to be something says if you want to be something you have to in essence eliminate all the things you think that you really are right now you have to eliminate the something you think you are and then you become something because the more you take away your human behavior your natural inclinations to use your own opinion to be proud of just your opinion to do things that are the opposite of what Hashem says do all these things the more you eliminate that the more you remove your own Pride your own GA the more of a chance you have to become somebody to become somebody holy to to become mosu to become what was mosu noted for he was known to be as the humblest man that ever lived he was known as M Moses my servant meaning Moses was considered by hasem as his slave now A Slave as we all know doesn't have free choice his free choice is his master's Choice whatever my master wants that's what I do by default but the beauty of the relationship between Moshe and the typical human slave which unfortunately still exist to this day just in different parts of the world and even actually in America just in hiding is that the servant is Happy purely by making his master happy in the old days you know of having you know slaves that are human slaves they they hate their Master but they have no choice he can't wait till the master dies in most places but hereu was purely happy and satisfied just by making his master happy but what made him a servant then instead of just an employee because he removed his own opinion he removed his own desires he had no desires hasem said go and become the go go become the that day's mashiach and save my nation M initially had an opinion he said no no I don't want to do it it's not it's not for me to do I'm not I'm not at that level to be the one not that I don't want to do what you want I'll do what you want but maybe should pick my brother maybe you should pick somebody that's holy maybe there's no way that I am at a level to be the mashiah but when hasem said you are go do it he went and did it when went through troubles and M initially complain to hem why is why is all of this happening you know it's this is this salvation is not coming so easy easily I thought you're just going to come you're going to beat up the Egyptians and that's it looks like the plan is a little different than I thought I came there I went to Pharaoh Pharaoh said who's this God that I should listen to him and on top of made made the situation worse is they all started complaining started crying to hasem and started complaining about Moshe now Moshe should technically should have quit he said listen this is still your will even though I don't understand even though I don't I can't say that I agree with this strategy but I don't know it if this is what you want this is what I'm going to do and this was in essence the entire lifetime of mosu was doing what hasem wanted not because he wanted it as his own natural inclination is that he made his natural inclination what hasem wanted him to do this is one of the most important parts that will help anyone that truly wants to be a proud Jew this is one of the most important parts to work on before doing anything ask yourself what does God think about this what does God think about the change I'm going to give them this customer what does God think about the prayer I'm about to make what does God think about the customer I'm about to deal with what does God think about this shid that I have what does got to think ask yourself what does Hashem think about all these things because as long as you use Hashem as that guiding point it makes it much easier to remove your opinion why because first if you think about your opinion first and then you say what does God think about it becomes a little harder why because immediately you've opened two giant doors for the to come in the is going to convince you you're a genius so for example what is it like when I used to smoke cigarettes for a long time for 20 years and uh when uh I started learning tah I got to one point where I realized that you're not allowed to smoke simply you're not allowed to smoke why because it hurts your hurts your body you're not allowed to hurt your body so I said yeah but you know what but they when I need to smoke because I'm addicted to it there's no says you're addicted to something you're allowed to do it okay so I can't pass that one okay but listen I've been smoking for a long time I'm used to it doesn't make a difference I like it doesn't make a difference eventually the yet that I had inside me was M showed me how much of a genius he is eventually he said listen every time you smoke a cigarett a mitv how is it a Mitzvah when do you smoke most when you're learning Tora you learn tah just stay up listen you're reading a book after a while you get a little tired fall asleep you think hm wants you to fall asleep why you learning to what kind of is that so you smoke how you going to stay up at 3:00 in the morning when you're learning for the Shure you can't go to sleep so you have to smoke how you going to learn the the the you don't even understand what it says and it's boring to you in the beginning you have to smoke so the yet convinced me my cigarette is actually a mitvah and it took a while for me to say yet you know what you're really full of it you're really full of it but that's the biggest cofair in the world is inside you he's inside you waiting to give you an excuse to rationalize your own Wicked Behavior listen you can't stop doing drugs you're already addicted you know what's going to do to your body when you think hm wants you to die you know people die from uh getting over the drugs you think Hashem wants you to uh not yell at your wife how's she going to learn you need to discipline her you think you're you think Hashem wants you to be ugly for your husband what kind of SL bite you going to have if hasem thinks that if your husband is not happy with you so you have to dress immodestly you have to do this you have to do that and your yet is going to constantly convince you how to be a Cel unfortunately if we let him in if we let this zo this fly in he's not leaving and as we all know the fly right before he goes on top of our steak he stands on a on the poop of the dogs he doesn't hang out at the cafe lounges drinking coffee hangs out at the garbage dump right before he goes on our steak so Theo the little fly that you have on your heart he's bringing all the garbage with him so when he's convincing you first that you're cigarette as a Mitzvah and that your mini skirt and tank top a that's just a beginning that's just the beginning slowly but surely event first it's just a cigarette then it's listen hasem said that learning Torah on Shabbat is worth a thousand times more than learning Tor during the week how are you going to learn Tor on Shabbat without smoking a cigarette sounds crazy but that's what the says and that's what actually happens so you let him in in the middle of the night on a Monday he said Monday I'm here coming back Tuesday he comes back Tuesday oh he feels at home by Wednesday he knows he's coming back Thursday Friday Friday Night comes along he's not leaving he's already feels at home Shabbat comes in he's like listen how you going to leave me with me the whole week you're going to leave me hanging he's going to try to work on you the whole Shabbat to make sure you smoke just a little drag just a little thing stay up you're doing a mitvah it's worth a thousandfold he's going to convince you with he's not going to convince you with my mom told me this one story that the B said he said comes to you like a poor man saying please please give me a little bit I don't have any sins give me some of your sins you have so many sadik sadik you such a righteous person give me a little bit of sins not big ones no don't be don't be modest don't be give me just a little s eat just something that's not 100% kosher do something that's not 100% kosher lie to this one customer cheat this one non-jew do something small it's not a big deal watch this TV show something small why hasem really cares about your TV come give me one one small sin he comes to you like a little homeless person but once he comes he doesn't want to leave what is it like it's like a poor man that came to a uh rich man's house and he said listen I can't afford to buy this big $10 million house you have but I've always wanted to have something you have a big house can you give me space just for one mail gu says what for a nail yeah just one I have one nail it's all my all I own is one nail and I have $1,000 I'm willing to give you $1,000 for you to let me stick the nail anywhere you want in the house the guy has a $10 million house he likes money says what's the big deal I have such a big house I'm probably not even going to notice this nail okay fine give me 1,000 bucks easy th000 go ahead pick a place to put the nail in picks a place somewhere in the house he puts the nail he observes his nail wow what a nail look at this look at the house you're surrounded by feels at home it's beautiful nail he's admiring his nail he's admiring the house that the nail is in and he leaves the rich guy's like what a fool this guy I just made a th000 bucks for nothing later that night at 2:30 in the morning someone's knocking on the door who's knocking on the door 2:30 in the morning he opens the door he sees this poor man again what do you want you have another nail what what do you want no no no I don't have another nail and I don't have another ,000 but I want to put my hat my hat on the nail cuz I'm going to go to sleep outside I don't want to rule my hat so I put the Hat on the nail cuz you couldn't come early go no I was working till now I have to put my hat on the nail okay y put the Hat on the nail Monday Tuesday 2:30 in the morning comes back no you already have the Hat on the nail no no I want to put my jacket on the nail and take my hat back you couldn't come early no I need my jacket all day so I couldn't put the jacket on the nail I need to use it okay no it's Tuesday Wednesday 3:00 in the morning got even late no what's today what the jacket the Hat what do you want today goes no no today I actually just wanted to look at my nail to see it's okay cuz yesterday it looked a little shaky and every day comes back at 2 3 4:00 in the morning by the end of the week the rich guy is losing his money goes listen you can't come here anymore goes what do you mean you can't come here anymore I have a contract I bought the place of the nail I'm going to take you to court they go to court Dian says he's right you sold them the place of the nail you have to let him see the nail so the rich guy has to deal deal with this as the poor man feels at home and every day he comes throughout the day now he's not only coming at 2:00 in the morning now he comes at 2:00 in the afternoon at 3:00 at 4:00 he's coming every few minutes why cuz that's the law you let him in all the way to the point where the rich guy says you know what the heck with his house take the whole house take the nail take the Hat take the jacket I don't want to live here anymore who wants to live in this place every 2 minutes the guy comes that's the the comes to you and says I'm poor I'm homeless I don't have much you have so many do you keep shabat you learn T you do this you do that you're so amazing you're a proud Jew give me one nail give me Just One Nail and we give him that nail instead of wearing the skirt that covers the knee 6 in before we sit even after we sit down we get the skirt that covers the knee only before we sit down that as soon as we sit down it's not covering the knee anymore six inches Hashem really cares about six inches Hashem if you really cared about the six Ines you make the dress maker make a better dress we blame BL now if we have a customer and the customer gives us a little bit too much he doesn't notice that instead of giving us a $10 bill he gives us a $20 bill and he walks out I'm G have to waste 25 minutes going to find this guy going giving it to him by the way it's a it's not just a mitv excuse me it's an obligation if a Jew that you you know there's a Jew that lost something you're obligated to return it to him yeah obligated to return it to him it's not like an option you're obligated to return it to him so unless it's going to cost more money to return it to him than what you actually found like for example if you found let's say I don't know a clip a hair clip or something that's worth one penny you don't have to go all the way to France that cost $3,000 to go give return him the the hair clip or her the hair clip so you have to use your mind also but the point being is that if you see the guy walked out and it's going to cost you 5 minutes of your time go run after him and give him the $10 but the Satan what he going to say it's just $10 the guy's Rich a multi-millionaire what is he this $10 for the guy just made $20 million last week you think he cares about this $10 that's not your business by taking that $10 you're letting the Satan put the first nail in a week later it's going to be $100 a month later it's going to be $10,000 the next thing you know Bernie made off and what happens later what happens is is that hasm eventually has to give us a wakeup call and as SCH man's foolishness leads him to sin he makes mistake what's his foolishness his foolishness is going against the King of Kings instead of going against his yet he goes against the King instead of going against the wicked people he goes against the King instead of going going and doing good he does bad he does the opposite of what he supposed to do which leads him to sin which leads him to get a bad report card so says after this man's own foolishness leads him to do these sins Hashem is going to punish him but what does he do he gets mad at hhm Hashem why did you uh put me in a place where I have a flat tire why I lose the job Why is my wife not happy why is my husband not happy why can't I find this why can't I find that we constantly blame hem for our problems but you did it you collected millions and millions of sins just last week and now Hashem is trying to give you a wakeup call hey buddy stop following the instructions life's going to become better so that's one of the main things that we have to understand is that first and foremost the only times that Hashem is going to give us difficulty in this world is not pure punishment it's to wake us up it's to get us to realize that we're doing something wrong it's not to punish us if it was pure punishment it wouldn't be in this world it would be in a different world called G so now R said in that Jerusalem was not destroyed until people of Truth disappeared from it as it said in the book of Jeremiah the prophet said I walk about it in the streets of Jerusalem and know that you seek seek throughout its Plaza and if you find even a single man a is one who dispenses Justice someone that seeks the truth I'll forgive herar explains this verse from the book of Jeremiah said before the mikash the destruction we got to a point where there was not even one single Rabbi that was willing to tell people the truth not one single person that was able to put themselves in a situation where it says this is the truth I know you like it I know you don't like it it doesn't really make a difference this is what it says the end my opinion irrelevant if it was up to me I i' say you know what don't do anything do whatever you want what do I care it's up to me what I care if he keep Shabbat affects my life what do I care if you eat kosher affects my dinner what do I care if you're modest not modest I don't see you I live in Florida doesn't affect me says Ah during even the people that were living there even the people that weren't living there everyone got to a point where they let yet get a apartment complex on their heart not just a small place all the way to the point where he convinced everyone hey it's not your business she wants to be modest let her be modest he wants to be let eventually he's going to come back eventually he's going to come back it's not your problem hasem says there's no one to teach them anymore so how are they going to come back to me what they're just going to one day decide the decid you know what I'm kind of bored of this apartment let me go somewhere else I'm bored of this heart let me go somewhere else no the more he's in there the more he feels at home the more comfortable he is says since there's no one to remove the yet from their heart I have to be the one but when hasem comes it hurts when Hashem shows up it's not like me showing up nice lecture I make you guys laugh a little bit some comes it's painful the destruction of bet mikash was many many degrees worse than the Holocaust people can remember the events they saw either on a TV program or if they live through the Holocaust we all have some type of connection to the Holocaust but the truth is all the worst things on earth that you saw in the Holocaust like the program I saw just last night horrible situation how they're throwing dead bodies on trucks and like it's like a uh sack of uh of uh rice all these Jews just throwing him there treating it like it's nothing disrespecting the bodies disrespecting everything what happened inash much worse much much worse why because we let the H tell us what are you so proud about being a Jew be like a dress like them act like them want what they want there's something called spout the Greek started you have these uh Gladiators fighting each other to the death fighting lions fighting tigers in Sparta today they called sport so instead of going to sh watch the basketball game at 10 o'clock at night instead of going to thear lesson let's go uh play some basketball let's do that you know that's what spout is so in essence even though everyone celebrates Hanukkah every year the secular Jews celebrate Hanukkah the religious Jews celebrate Hanukkah in reality if the Greeks were still around they'd be laughing and say oh we won look how much time you spend on watching sports it's not necessarily bad to play sports or even watch sport as long as you can control the modesty if it's even possible to club because there IM modest commercials is that we don't go just a little bit we don't just watch five minutes and then go back to what we're supposed to do you watch the whole three-h hour program and then the next game and then the next game and the next game and the next thing you know you know the salary cap of every team you know the uh height and weight of every single prayer you know the uh who's the next draft pick you know the names of every coach all of a sudden you're an expert sports announcer without getting paid we go over why because we give the yet one na he says oh this is a nice place I like this house feels at home feels at home that's why even though it's not easy it's not an easy Lifestyle the real real serious the real serious people of Torah they try to do everything they possibly can to restrain their kids from the outside world now too much restraining in our lowly generation is too much meaning that you know unless you could guarantee he's going to be living in a cave for the rest of his life you're guaranteeing that eventually he's going to break why because if the kid doesn't know what an iPod is and an iPad is and a TV is and internet and women and nothing he pretty much all he knows is the books that are in front of him for the first 18 years of his life at 19 years old he gets married okay now he's not going back to Aba and IMA has walking around to the supermarket we're not even saying he's going to the movies we're not even saying he's going to uh some baseball game he's going to the supermarket all of a sudden he sees that there's other women he's never seen women before only first woman he saw in his life was this woman now he sees the other women the other wom are not exactly wearing clothes they forgot them at home they figure they're going to buy some fruits lose some weight and then they can wear the smaller clothes or something they forgot the clothes at home so he sees that then he sees Electronics then he sees TV then he sees the games then he sees internet next you know they have serious serious problems that's why many of the people that come to me with problems with either schite or um wasting seed they're not always necessarily secular many of them are actually very very religious people but they were contained to such an extent that eventually when they went out to the world the exploded so every parent has to do things with good measure you can't put make the kid feel like he's in a cave at the same token you can't send him to public school either you have to control you have to show what's good what's bad and do your best but you can't you can't just completely shut him out because you're not going to be able to do that forever and to release someone that's never seen the world out to the public is a is irresponsible you pretty much guarantee that the guy is going to break going have a mental breakdown a lot of these guys I remember in I went to college I went to bingamon University many of the students were Jews in bingamon University and many of them came from very very serious religious houses and many of them became the worst kids in the entire campus biggest alcoholics most imod girls I continue this list just disgust you worst why it's the first time they sold the world and they have complete Freedom they have no parents they have no ABA no EMA no nothing they're in a dorm room become Sodom and Gomorrah overnight so everything has to be within some control you have to show them to choose right not just limit them to such an extent the point being is that we have to teach ourselves to want to be good to want to do not to just do it because we're robots not to just do it because we're scared to death to want to be a proud Jew why because what's a proud Jew you're in essence telling everybody hey by the way my ABA is the king of kings why wouldn't I be proud of it what Prince have you seen in history that was ashamed of being a prince there's one prince in Italy one prince in Italy he's one of the last ones remaining his family was thrown out or something like that he works at a uh truck he sells pizza but he's really a prince I'm serious he's really a prince but he works and he sells pizza why cuz they took all the money from his family but until this day he tells the world I'm a prince he's still proud to be a prince even though he sells pizza no prince in the world is is is is ashamed of being a prince my dad's the king whether you like him don't like him agree with him disagree with it's irrelevant my dad's the King by default that makes him important your dad is the king of kings the creator of the world the everything what are you so ashamed of what are you so what's the problem once we actually start putting that and printing that into our mind it becomes much easier to be a proud Jew but a real Jew not a proud je sometimes we're proud we wear keeper to beet but outside we don't want to wear keeper we are modest when we go to the family dinners but once in a while I want to go to the clubs and hang out with the friends and have a few drinks you're not going to find your husband in a bar you're not going to create schom bite by going to a strip club you're not going to be a successful businessman on a long period of time if you cheat people eventually the punishment comes it catches up to you and at that point what's going to happen you're going to blame God because all this time you've been letting the influence your opinion to the point where the has become your opinion so now when something different happens say hey Hashem why'd you do that to me thinking that you were right the whole time look hhm I was smoking at 3:00 in the morning for you was a Mitzvah I was learning T why' you give me cancer why' you give me this why'd you give me that what do you mean who told you to smoke who told you to not to smoke so what was the ultimate decision the ultimate decision is that I realized realiz that okay the is full of it and which means I'm full of it so I have to find a way to quit not because I want to quit I like smoking but because it's notm it's not the will of Hem Hem didn't put me into this world smoke to be a smoker it's not the will of hem and I started thinking to myself okay wait a minute so what do I do with my hands what do I do with my hands like how do people live without smoking cigarettes like I I got to a point after 20 years of smoking I didn't understand how anybody stands outside and does nothing like what do you do like why you just sitting there what's wrong with you like why don't you have something in your hand like to me my smoking became normal their standing there is not normal like it can't be that they're right of course I'm right you know you never think anybody else is Right everyone thinks they're right why you just standing there so weird and I'm thinking to myself smoking a cigarette thinking it's normal that was one thing and then the other one was like okay so then I'm probably going to eat too much then I'm going to gain weight so that was another yet and he just add more and more and more things how I'm going to study how I'm going to stay up and then I started seeing myself I tried quitting I started seeing myself fall asleep like see told you it keeps me up at night and you go back and you fight yourself and you fight yourself but eventually you have have to get to a point you said listen this is not and when did I finally realize it I usually I got to a point where I wouldn't smoke next to people and the reason why is because one time I did a Shure early early on and a couple of my students went outside was in my house a couple of my students went outside they were all smoking cigarettes okay so I'll go outside I'll smoke a cigarette with them I didn't think it was a big deal they're smoking we they're looking at I mean smoking they're smokers like it wasn't even a thought in my mind there's anything wrong with this so I I lit up a cigarette and they looking like oh you smoke I said yeah why like oh that's it that's all I said oh and immediately I knew that their level of respect not just for me but for everything I just said has dropped drastically why cuz I'm just like them we officially became the same level doesn't matter that you just spoke for two hours taught you T I told you what is I told you it doesn't make a difference you and me are the same you smoke I smoke and this was what reminded me of this is when I used to see fakers that wear a costume that looks like they wear the big hat or they wear any type of hat they look like religious people and I would see them in casinos and different places and I'm like wait a minute I'm not really just that's why I'm not you what are you doing here so then it gave me a visual of of Judaism as like it's fake if you're here and I'm here I prefer my life to yours so that simple cigarette that simple tiny nail that I let in like Hey listen they're smoking I'll smoke what's the big deal immediately destroy the Torah that I taught him and became so then I knew this has to be the last cigarette this has I can never do this again and that's what I had to quit but again it's not easy I didn't actually want to do it but sometimes you have to decide is your will more important than hashem's will if the answer is even remotely yes you have a lot of work to do that's when you have to eliminate your opinion you have to eliminate it as much as possible and till it becomes synonymous with hashem's opinion that's what real tra is that's what's going to get you to be a proud Jew that's what's going to get you to a point where the 20% of am is that made it to Mount sa and survived and prospered that's what going to get you to be one of them because if we're not eventually we're also going to be given the choice just like am was given a choice in Egypt leave now or die some didn't want to leave Hashem killed him 80% is the most lenient opinion the nicest opinion the most politically correct opinion is that 80% of am was killed in the plague of Darkness that's double the Holocaust at the very least some say it's much much more 80% made the wrong choice they said no we don't want we don't want the Torah just bring it to us we'll stay here we'll wait for you here we'll listen to it we'll follow it we'll do whatever you want but we don't want to do it over there we want to do it here meaning they put their opinion just a little bit of their opinion not that much of their opinion didn't didn't say listen no we want to worship idols that they didn't say didn't say no we want to continue eating non kosher they didn't say that we eating kosher said no we just don't want to worship it we don't want to go there bring it to us one nail One Nail hasem said One Nail I can't help you my friend and you removed them from the world even the 20% that were left were brought to Mount Si and were given that black and white Choice again you here you want my Torah that means it's our wedding you don't want my Torah here you will die here you'll be buried so again even those people the ones that remained had to make a serious choice but the good news is is the ones that stuck around and kept making the right choice they're the ones we read about they're the ones that have their names live forever they're the ones that are the most righteous people that ever lived they're the ones that spread the Torah they're the ones that are am they're the proud Jews so the key is that if we want to be one of those 20% when a mhia comes we already have to be ready at that time we have to be ready 100% that we've already made that choice we made that distinction between proud Jew and fake Jew it's plenty of fake Jews plenty sometimes they wear hats sometimes they wear wigs sometimes they wear a you you know some of them are fake even with the uh you know they could look like the most righteous person in the world but they're fake some of them look like bus drivers and uh you know and and car mechanics some of them are lawyers doctors and politicians and then there's the righteous ones all walks of life all types of looks the exterior is not going to be the given but the one thing I can tell you for sure is that if the exterior is he modest the interior cannot be any good so the exterior has to be modest once the exterior is modest then you have a 50/50 chance and as far as figuring out which 50% it is whether it's a proud Jew or not you could ask them a simple s you could look at them just based on how they make their decisions if hasem is Flowing out of their mouth soon as they say something it's everything that they say constantly has AEM in mind this is somebody that is proud to be a Jew but if they were the type of people that like are a Jew and hiding like yeah you know I worked really hard and I succeeded and yeah we bought a house where's theem part come like you made it or God made it you created it or God created it so when you have when you're really truly a proud Jew Hashem has to be on the tip of your tongue at all times any questions now you have questions you don't know the whole Torah yet I don't know either so you guys are ask questions no what if a woman dresses modestly in any way she gets a lot of attention not her problem not a problem you are you are allowed to be an attractive woman a woman is allowed to be attractive obviously created her that way what you are supposed to be is modest the fact that there's always going to be some sick guy that's going to you know make a tree look like an attractive woman it's not your problem problem your problem is the effort this is the same thing somebody asked me wait a minute wasting seed wasting seed is a very very big problem because every time a young boy or an old man waste seed they killing destroying millions and millions of it's a serious problem like you're going to show up the of as the biggest murderer in history and you want to go to ghed you have something coming to you like you have to you have a serious problem here so now somebody said okay fine wasting seed's no good we get it we have a whole 3 hours you about it but why if the seed's ultimate purpose is to reproduce is to bring children to the world why is a man allowed to be with his wife intimately when she's pregnant she can't get pregnant twice she's already pregnant why is a man allowed to be with his wife if he knows for sure biologically she cannot be pregnant she can't they're already too old or she can't she had some type of surgery to remove it remove our uterus or ovaries she can't get pregnant it's physically impossible so why is he still allowed to in essence use a seed answer the outcome is not your business your business is the effort you are supposed to do what hasem said what actually ends up happening as an outcome of your actions it's not your business you are supposed to wake up pray whether hasem decides to answer your prayer or not it's not your business it's hashem's business you're supposed to go try to make a living in an honest way whether you end up being rich or poor it's not your business AEM decides you could be a truck driver and a multi-millionaire you could be a lawyer and a poor person I've seen guys that are geniuses and poor and fools and multi-millionaires there's a rich person in every job there's a poor person in every job your responsibility is not the outcome it has nothing to do with you your responsibility is the effort your responsibility is not what's in other people's minds your responsibility is what you're going to do intentionally meaning that if you are going to make it easy for their mind to travel to wonderful places it's your problem you have a serious problem in your head but if you've done everything you possibly can to cover yourself and really this guy just has a very vivid imagination he thinks the uh wall looks like a woman too that's not your problem that's his problem he's been watching too many TV shows you know so so that's the thing so our issue is understanding what our responsibility is responsibility of a man is to make sure that whenever he's intimate with his wife he makes sure that the semen goes inside her body in the right place whether she pregnant or not pregnant it's not his problem it's not his problem hasem decides so now the question goes how where's the source for this in theah the says that abah ainu and his wife were together for TENS for decades before saru became pregnant she didn't become pregnant for 90 years so what wasted seed for 80 years 70 years no Z says that even though they didn't bring a physical child to the world they actually created Souls each one of those seeds became a soul where do those Souls appear they're all the converts all the converts that we have today to this day came from Abu seed this is obviously mystical above and beyond the uh the standard of this Shure but the point being is thatu was exerting effort outcome not his problem the fact that it was physically impossible for s menu to be pregnant was not his business he didn't worry about it he still tried Hashem decided eventually at 90 years old to make his wife perfectly healthy gek create a uterus for her and we the point being is that the outcome is aem's business whether you going to be rich or poor hashem's business whether you're going to find a husband that's righteous hashem's business whether you're going to you know be a big hm's business you exert effort you want to be sacrifice your life for remove your personal opinion remove your personal desires remove as much physical stuff as possible from your life you want to be a real look at the chapter 5 it talks about how in order to become a real serious it talks about all the things you have to lower lower your intake of food lower your intake of physical things around you lower even your your uh your sexual activity with your wife you want to be serious to you want to be ROM you have to make sure Torah becomes priority number one doesn't say don't be with your wife obviously obligated to your wife but the point being is that you have to make Torah number one not everybody's necessarily destined to be a but at least you have an instruction set of how to do it you want to be a you have certain rules to follow you have to be modest you have to be righteous you have to be righteous with your mouth not just with your clothes you have to obviously honor your husband like he's a king you have to treat yourself like you're a queen meaning look like a queen if the Queen of England do you ever anybody ever see her with a minis skirt anyone ever seen the Queen of England with a bikini no why because it's not it's not desirable it's not normal for a queen of a country to walk around with a uh bikini only once in history that somewhat of a queen not a real queen but some of a queen walk around sleeveless who Michelle Obama they she made it fashionable to walk around sleeveless it's the first time in history no other first lady in history walked around like that rul ridiculous but that's why the respect for was different than anybody else so the point is is that you want to be a queen act like one you want to be Prince act like one be proud of it don't be ashamed of it next yeah follow up I use just saying that you have you know you don't have an outome right let's say your kid doesn't want to be Jewish and religious and that's I did everything I could how old is a kid now he's 13 and I did everything I could MH mtj every best school and he doesn't want to be okay am I supposed to as long as he's under your roof as long as he's under your roof keep dealing with him even though to me it's like I don't want to deal with him anymore what he's doing right and he chose to go to his father now so I don't really see him anymore but do I have to like until he's 18 what do I do like to try to get him back to what am I supposed to do I don't know so he's not 18 yet I know whatever but as he get older am I supposed to I mean yeah I mean it's it's 100% you have to try to do everything you possibly can to motivate him to come back and you have to in order to do that sometimes it's can't really come from you meaning that you have to Mo motivate him indirectly like for example uh some of the people that are most important to me weren't religious just like I wasn't religious now if I came to them originally I told them listen you should start keeping Shabbat would you become a rabbi what were you tell me to become just because you started keeping Shabbat I'm going to keep Shabbat just because you're doing this I'm going to do this who are you to tell me you just became religious last week you can tell me now they wouldn't take it for me and I understood this quickly early on cuz I tried influencing some people and like they like laughed in my face so I gave up very quickly but I realized that it's still very important for me for them to come back to Hashem because I finally realized and saw the truth so I would try to influence them indirectly how is it indirectly by giving me a CD get a somebody else to talk to them get the rabbi to talk to them get the school to talk to them get the friend to talk to them get someone else that they are they would look up to that's one way the second thing is is trying to find out what's the root of the of cause of their behavior So In traditional places it's like traditional cases not all cases but in traditional cases it's their surroundings so for example if you send a kid to a school that's uh comprised of a bunch of secular kids naturally he's going to want to be secular if you send up to public school he's going to want to be like to go why would he want to be Jewish in the public school I actually know two kids that are really religious that go to public school uh because unfortunately the Yeshiva system where they live is horrific and they refuse to let anyone in without having money like they just don't they can't afford it um but I don't know it's a I find that horrific I think that any school that rejects a kid because of money is should not be a school because they're not doing they're doing it as a business it's not Judaism you know yes of course you have to make money you have to put a roof on everyone you have to pay the teachers I'm not saying that Yesa should be free or anything yeah of course if it cost money it cost money but to reject a kid because of money you're sh you're a wicked person so a uh key key important thing is that I saw that it is possible to have a religious kids go religious kid go to public school but it's very not uncommon very uncommon don't TR this at home type of thing now most kids that go to public school want nothing to do with Judaism why because they feel embarrassed by their friends and a kid that's 13 years old is highly motivated by his surroundings much more than an adult he doesn't have his own unique opinion yet he has an opinion but that opinion is a reflection of his exterior so that exterior most of the time comes from his friends the other place that it comes from is from huh he been M years so but the uh I mean that's what I'm saying he's totally with the whole thing and totally went against everything and he went to public school now and he went to but who decided whether he goes to public school not talk about he can't go to he's living with his father okay so that's the thing so he has an influence of his father I don't him any I I don't know if I want to do because he's going and chose it on his own to do this so that's what I'm saying I don't know if I supposed to continue speaking to this kid or just let it go because says okay you're not I did what I have to yeah I mean you have a situation you have a situation that's different than the uh thing okay so if let's say for example the parents was still married and you were still under the same roof as the child both parents which means that the influence of both parents is United uh you would still be responsible as much as possible to influence him as long as he's under your roof but as soon as he moved houses and he lives with his father which obviously is a primary influence in his life you could try to influence him if it's possible but it also says certain places that if it's a uh you know certain things certain times where you're wasting your time meaning that if you know that someone is not going to listen to you don't bother telling him now some people take this specific from the where if you know someone's not going to listen just don't bother telling them a little too far meaning that they say listen I'm not not going to tell the guy to violate Shabbat to keep Shabbat because he's just not going to listen so why bother but that's not true that's not what the what's not what the gar says the gar says that if it's something that's not from Biblical if it's something that's rabinal meaning if you see that he is a for example he's um he's making any type of rabinal sin and you know that if you tell him listen you know what you really should do you really do should do that you know he say come on leave me alone if you know he's going to say leave me alone don't bother telling him why because it's a rabinal sin but if you see the guy driving on Shabbat that's a Biblical sin you have to tell them something so people take this too far and that's one of the excuses that people use as to not tell not to rebuke the people around them but this also brings us back to that that we talked about before which is that Hashem destroyed the bet mikdash because everyone Miss translated this and got to a point where they said you know what they're not going to listen anyway so I'm not going to say anything and this is the reason why Hashem punished the rabbis before he punished the secular people during the times of bet mikash uh so on that end if it's United house you'd still be responsible if it's not a United house if it's you know unfortunately a broken house where he has the primary influence in his life is his father and your opinion is virtually worthless at this stage this is very little you can do the one thing I would definitely uh suggest for you to do is just like Hashem did not give up on us don't give up on him completely always try but try with like you know small little tidbits little grains just like David says eventually you're going to yield the benefit out of these grains out of these seeds that you plant you can plant seeds here and there so okay so it's not everyday listen you should keep shab you should do this you should stop this you no not every day cuz then it's not going to want to talk to you he going to D against you but when you go if you see him give him a CD it doesn't matter if he listens to or not just give him the CD he said no I don't want to see okay just take it just in case take it just make your mom happy for 5 seconds by taking a c even if you know for sure he's going to throw it in the garbage don't worry I'll pay for it give him the CD next thing after that don't ever stop praying for him don't stop praying for him why because if you look at everyone today that's like the biggest B the serious most serious B who is it younger generation you see their parents none of them are religious sometimes you have a religious parent but for the most part parents sometimes I have one guy one student Russian guy did got married the guy was atheist before me atheist M atheist came to me started doing CH started M like started learning every day one day he tell calls his mom lives in Israel tells her IMA listen she want to let you know that you know you're going to come visit me I keep Shabbat he say m what are you doing that what do you mean no I last 6 months I've become religious she start crying on the phone goes I would have preferred you tell me that you're addicted to cocaine instead that's his parents that's so the problem is that you have some serious bichua in the world today you look at their parents like whose Merit is it like you know it say the Merit of the parent look at the parents sometimes the parents are the worst people on Earth so what is it the Merit of some grandparent some great grandparent that didn't stop praying for that kid and the kid died without doing Chua but hasem said for that prayer has to go somewhere so I promise you that at some point that will do chuv it'll come back in a g because you can't go to G has come back come back in a g eventually he going to do CH why for the prayer from five generations ago one of the biggest things I can tell you me for myself for example the number one reason that motivated my cha I think only Merit that I have is my mother's prayers my mother prayed for 10 years 10 years for me to do Chua I mean the amount of prayer that this woman made and it's not like she was like a raban or anything but she believed that I could do chuva why I have no idea she has dreams she has this she has that I don't know all I know is that she didn't stop praying for me I was with my wife at the time which wasn't Jewish for a long time she it's not going to say listen leave her she knew I wasn't going to leave her on top of that she could have not like her she's the most likable person on Earth on top of that she's the only person that cared about me while I was sick and and miserable and wanted to kill myself with all the uh sickness that I had so you can't really go against her you can't really say much to me like the last thing I want to do is start keeping Shabbat I'm dying from pain right now leave me alone so what do you do what do you have left to do pray to hasem Hashem save this kid doctor say he's dying save him she didn't stop praying for 10 years but prayers with tears and tears and tears and tears the woman didn't stop crying she called or went to every single Rabbi I know of I mean I could think of she went to Israel she went to Morocco she went to All Over America she called every Rabbi she has a book a black book full of rabbis names like you would think this is it's like you think this is like some major raban knows like everybody in the world she any Rabbi that had a name she found out she called him and she didn't stop calling him until he answered the phone finally or he called her back finally we call back okay give what could I do for you what do you want pray for my son who's your son my son be scin she give him the whole story and start crying to them and crying to them and the guy would start crying with her you see this woman this poor woman is crying for her son so much you feel bad they start crying with her she's crying they start praying one time this uh big Rabbi this big meal in uh Nat gave her a shock she went this is long time ago and uh she waited online and this specific Rabbi doesn't see women doesn't see women holy holy person usually the women see his you know his wife but she was waiting waiting and she saw him passing and she started screaming to the rabbi please please answer me answer me she started like M hysterical crying she really believes in Rabbi she really is values theik and not she doesn't pray to rabbis but she values them she values their Tora she started hysterical crying that he stopped he didn't turn around and start talking that he stopped just to hear what you know what she says and she started crying hysterically pray for my sons pray for my son my son my son my son my son only thing he said I don't know I don't know whether he knew or he didn't know I don't know what he knew all I know is that what she told me is Shak he said your son has to do cha son has to do cha that's all he said left that's the Cure so a mother's prayers has no end all of the Gates of Heaven can be closed except the tears for the mother that prays for a son so as much bitterness as he's creating in your heart he's still your son you know it I know it as annoying as he is as frustrating as he is as frustrating as his father is as frustrating as his surrounding he is doesn't make a difference in the end you're still going to cry over him so might as well pray to hm while you crym is listening because he's also his son so don't give up don't give up don't give up listen if I could do anybody know if I I'm telling you you not not were not born religious or raed religious zero my son was born and iau him he was born and he went to MJ for eight years he has this fo to go to mtj and to be around and his children and grandchildren and everything most people don't have that so I'm thinking to myself he had all that and he still decided to go against hasem I don't know if it's the same kind of thing as you not ever knowing and then you know what I'm saying but somebody that knew and knows everything know he a baby and been there for years because I'll give you some hope for kind to because I know said the evil always in the end destroyed because he's acting right now he's like one of those he's only 13 he's only 13 Even said I was right he said I was right speak to him every time about my son and like he's really against it what he's a makes uh listen won't listen is not a big de okay but I'm saying what does he do that so against the like what I'm not Jewish I don't care your religion kill people believe it that but it's like he will not don't about I does he is he homosexual I'm asking you for a reason not trying to make don't know I can't tell okay is he okay does he does he uh do any make any sex crimes don't why am I asking you these questions hold on why am I asking you these questions why am I asking this question's to that's what I'm saying okay one time there was a big tadik one time there was a big tadik such a big sadik that he made the entire nation learn toah full time to such an extent that AEM said Hashem said if I would to decide to bring the mhia he would be the mhia his name was t one of the 24 books of of the Torah about the story of he was the king of Israel and he was a sadik to such an extent that he said he put the sword down he dug it into the ground he said whoever doesn't go learn T I'm going to kill him you have no choice you have to go learn T to such an extent that even the babies the one the 18month old babies knew the entire mishna by heart to that extent we don't know the entire Mish by heart we're 80 years old they look babies no 18 months to that extent now one day the prophet comes to him and says tomorrow you're going to die tomorrow's your last day you got sick tomorrow you're going to die so he said why why why one day I'm mashia the next day I'm going to die why what did I do said because you decided not to get married he said yes but I did a mitvah my Mitzvah my Mitzvah was that I knew I saw through prophecy that my son is going to be Mas is he's going to rape his own family he's going to kill his grandfather he's going to do all the worst Poss he's going to bring idol worship idol worship to this is not some guy this is the king is going to bring idol worship to the to the you want me to bring this to the world you want me to bring an enemy of hem to the world Prophet says it's not your business it's not the outcome is not your business you are still responsible to fulfill the mitvah of simple mitvah have intimacy with your wife bring a child to the world she says to the prophet okay that's what Hashem wants if that's really what it's all about Let Me Marry a daughter he marries the prophet's daughter who was born man Mas makes your kid look like the of Mas took his grandfather Isaiah the prophet and chopped him up to pieces like they do at the butcher chopped them up to his grandfather the prophet he took them up that's why as commit murder if he commits murder maybe he doesn't commit Mur chopped him up the prophet the he chopped them up raped murdered idol worship everything and anything you can possibly imagine what's the end of the story of man he did Chu says he has a share of the world to come with all the problems that he has he still mentioned in the book of Chronicles why he did Chua at the end of his life he did Chua but he wasn't mentioned directly in his own book in the Own Story why because it took time for all of the idol worship that he brought to the world to be removed from the world for all of the sins that he caused to be eliminated eventually took SE several generations for that to be over but eventually when all of the S sins and all of the bad things that he caused and led to will removed from the world he was welcome to and he's mentioned as someone that has a share of the world to come and this is someone you just hear the details of just one of the stories not all of them one of them you're like how's this person even mentioned in the Tora this person is worth than has why the cha if he could do Chua I could do Chua if I could do Chua your son can do Chua what do you need you need Mercy from Hashem how do you get Mercy from Hashem you pray to him say hem I did everything I could I sent him to a good school I went to a big Rabbi I I'm modest I pray to you I learn your Torah I try to fulfill everything possible I try to do everything you're are my number one foundational reason for every decision I do do everything you want you said make your will into my will and you'll make my will into your into uh into your will you said it so what's missing there's one secret ingredient that I can give you that will put your son and your prayers on a VIP list this we said before this year but it's worth mentioning again the prophet Isaiah mentions I believe it's chapter 33 book of not Isaiah Jeremiah Book of Jeremiah chapter 33 hasem says to the prophet if you do tell if they do chuv I welcome them they'll stand next to me but if you bring one of my children back to me you will be like my mouth me meaning there's you do Chua you always accept it even Mas could do chuv you could do Chua no problem that's the first part the second part is much more significant for this situation he says but if you bring my my children back home I love my children I created them I created the whole world for them I created all these stars for them everything is for them the Torah is for them everything's for them but they ran away from me they used the tools that I gave them against me I gave them a tool called loss of memory why because I don't want them to be sad cuz they have some bad memories so I want them to forget these bad memories you know remember that he lost his puppy want cry about the Lost puppy when he's 35 years old you know the uh lost a game of cards with his friend you want him to cry when he's 35 years old it's 30 years ago already his teacher yelled at him you want him to cry 20 years later because the teacher yelled at him he fell and he broke his hand you want him to cry from the pain that he had 15 years ago for broken hand no so hasem gave us forgetfulness memory loss why as a tool as a tool to ease our pain eventually all pain goes away why because of this tool what do we do with this tool we use this tool of forgetfulness against AEM what do we do with it we forgot AEM we forgot AEM is the boss instead of forgetting the bad things we forgot the good thing so hasm says to the prophet one of my sons one of my daughters they forgot me they use that thing I gave them they use it against me they use the P to go pay for things that are against me bring them back to me remind them of me I'm here remind them bring them back you do that you achieve that you get somebody keep Shabbat you get somebody to be serious about me learn t on a regular basis your prayer will be like my prayer meaning your mouth will be like my mouth even if I bring a decree to the world and I say this person's time is out he's run out I have to give him sh disease cancer you pray for him you could override that decree why you have VIP you have VIP treatment why do you have VIP treatment because just just like I created man when you bring him back to me you're also considered a Creator so now Hashem loves every single one of his Creations he loves every single one of his children even more so especially when they're called chosen your son is also chosen but he doesn't want to be chosen because he doesn't know what it means so you can't do much right now but he can so my strategy is go worry about hashem's other kids go try to get hashem's other kids to come back to Hashem Hashem sees that oh you wor with my other kids okay okay where's your kid now oh come come that's what happened with many of the people that I couldn't reach family friends different people that there's no way in the world that I could influence them why because they're always going to look at me as my past this is Mr businessman this is this this is that it wasn't like I wasn't a murderer exactly I was a decent human being shie over here was worked for me for many years he knows me he can tell you guys I wasn't a murderer I helped a lot of people I did I was a DEC human being but according to hm it was a I didn't follow his laws so they remember me as that guy so for me they go come to them say hey you should keep Shabbat you should keep this you keep that some people just can't get over that hump they just can't do it but I still like them I still care for them I still want to help them so I pray for them I pray for them every time we do a lecture every time we do a shoe every time we give out a CD it helps it helps it helps and I start seeing some of these people that I couldn't influence them if my life depended on it I see hasem opens the door in a different way all of a sudden they call me oh you know that Rabbi mrai guy like yeah yeah I heard about him yeah I heard about him what about him what yeah he's amazing do you ever hear about him he's good like I'm the one I give you a CD but I don't even say it I'm the one that gave you the CD even who cares it doesn't make a difference let him do CH or they come to me with a oh you ever hear this amazing who cares I don't need to credit he knows in sh what I try point is Hashem open the door in a different way you like this Rabbi you like that Rabbi it doesn't make a difference to me just do so best thing to do stop making other children of hem your top priority every day a few minutes every day 5 minutes 10 minutes 20 minutes depending on how much time you have an hour or whatever time you have contribute to K contribute in every way you possibly can to do kiru but on a regular basis not like once in a blue every day do something if you have money contribute money if you have time contribute time if you have a skill contribute a skill if you have all contribute all the point is make k your business of course you have to work you have to live you have to do whatever you got to do to survive but the point is make kiru a serious part of your life why because the only way your son is going to get this VIP treatment is if you become one of those that hem calls you'll be like my mouth you become like his mouth you don't even have to worry anymore eventually it's going to happen stop worrying you don't have to worry about it you just it's paid for already you just don't know it hasn't showed up in the bank account yet next no you have some more questions we finish the entire Torah question amen amen [Music] [Applause] [Music]