Purim 5776 Kumzitz Farbrengen with Rabbi YY Jacobson - The Day We Remove our Masks

the yeshiva.net [Music] [Applause] [Music] it [Music] la [Applause] [Music] la y [Music] oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] know [Music] my [Applause] my [Music] all right this [Music] is sh is the if you know the words just sing along there you go officer my [Applause] [Music] sh right and the D move them move them a little bit perfect perfect perfect why is yours any more real oh let [Applause] down best I got [Music] am am am somebody brought me I was read it yesterday I used to about from C lived in Poland in he told a story about a Sher an alcoholic you know what a sh is yeah an alcoholic today they call him an alcoholic used to be nice names sh whatever today you know we call a spade a spade so there was a sh you your all so he told would tell put a from about a sh and C this sh and CA of course every excuse that he had to drink he was there he was always there he say there was other he would drink two weeks before pudding and two weeks after put him of course put him is like but two weeks before 2 weeks after in other words the whole other he was basically smashed completely out from the beginning from the end so they asked him what's the excuse thear but not two weeks before two weeks after but not for drinking that depends for sh [Music] no said as follows he said this he said he never understood humble why did they ever understand makes that all the Jews there one designated day the day to wipe out all of I don't understand he's in Mor the Jews be Jews will hide that day they'll hide hide in and and M they'll hide on in caves and attics and holes they'll they'll hide one day the next morning they'll emerge from their hiding place the the is over there was one day permission to kill that's it now it's illegal what was thinking he should have given it a whole month Tak his girl came out what did he have to start looking for a give it a month you have a month to kill you could examine you could search you could scrutinize you could pursue you give it one day certainly a lot of Jews will get away they'll hide for the day and they'll be [Music] good what was thinking in our times a generation ago he gave himself five years H gave himself one day what are you going to do in one day people will hide from C head he said ham was a very perceptive person he knew that it may not work out he knew that with the Jews in cable to Jus you try one thing and it could come right back against you so he had a that it won't work out and it's going to become a so he said to give them a y never never one day say the I have no choice I can kill them I'll to give them one day but to give them for I'm not going to let have it his way his whole was not to kill us for mon we shouldn't have a for a month I will not let him get away with it I'm the real one who cele now technically the whole could [Music] [Laughter] be [Music] a beautiful used to say I'm put him to explain why the said [Music] even for this wasn't the only time that Jews were saved Jews were also saved other times were also saved here something unique a lot of different explanations one used to say tell the story time the tell the story The of the who was a Jew and he was a big big bav you know what a bav is I know no CL huh present company excluded but he had a not just he did he had a he had a special sensitivity he had a a sweet tooth certain especially any area that had to do with displaced from priscu he was fed up with the extent of his sinning till that point he took with him a huge amount of money 500 golden Ruble but m is pure gold to go to a particular place where he would be able to fulfill all of his and all of his addictions it wasn't anybody that he left this guy decided he's going to go and he'll be able to buy his way in to any person he wanted to have relations with SH on the road he's traveling and he hears a he hears people sobbing finds out what's happening so kug and Poland then there were the Jews would rent taverns ketas ins from the pron from the overlords and you would pay them the annual revenue and people would stay there and drink and eat you know like a motel six and they called them kmas kers taverns there was this Jewish Family they couldn't afford the rent they wouldn't pay him for a few years and the Pirates came expelled them and he was throwing them into prison until somebody would pay a rent for a few years a man a husband a wife and all of their children so there was so this Jew stops and he asks how much is the rent they tell him 5,000 golden Ruble so he takes the money and he gives it to the family to pay up he goes back home he again he's not going to be able to get any good you know he go him such a commotion in him in a moment of truth he had such passion for sin and In a Moment of Truth he gave it all up to help another Jewish Family this is a unique moment so they P that any this man gives is going to become a que huh is he still we looking f looking you have to have two qualifications first of all a real B so that the passion should be star and number two to take that passion to give it away so yeah but nobody even thought to come to him for was a somebody he once gave a br to somebody and they saw so it became a whole big thing so this guy is going to change the whole creation won't be any of left whatever he wants he'll do so they managed to get him into alcohol he became an alcoholic became an alcoholic who goes to a you got to be crazy you go to he's completely inated most of the day he would lay on the floor so first of he wasn't to give up he was smashed once there was in a city they came to the and the B said he can't help they said what should we do if you can't help who do we go to B said go to that drunk in that City and ask him to D for you they said he he wait for a sober moment wait for a lucid moment then go and he told him the story he told him the story he said you'll get him in aive moment that's is infinite Jew is infinite what he or she can accomplish on every level so there has to be a counterbalance they could put him into a so to speak a light day really it's a deeper day even put is more serious thaner but in order to counterbalance the in the world people are putting on mats they're eating they're running around they're going here they're going there they're collecting they're giving they're collecting they're giving again they're flattering they're going from one meal one Kish to another one Sushi to another Sushi what's what they wanted a person shouldn't utilize the power take it away from him obviously what he's saying is something deeper what he's saying is that it's really a whole metaphor the greatest tragedy of a person is that he doesn't know his he thinks he's a shik shik doesn't necessarily mean you're an alcoholic that too shik means you think you don't have D is [Music] was alol was such a s lacked such perception of course a saw the mat he didn't know that there was a a woman crying but he thought she was sh says that thought she was sh with herself you know some people say about a certain person he's a self-made man and he worships his creator she was in inated with herself says that so was saying you're drunk on your own needs stop telling God how great your problems are start telling your problems how great God is the that's what a said so said you don't understand I'm asking for that's not narcissistic it's part of my relationship so a person sometimes doesn't realize who he is so in that a person could think what's is we want you to forget who you are so what he's saying is that the EM is the opposite the put a person has the to be Malala who he truly is is is because most people's tragedy is that they don't know who they are they don't cut themselves any slack especially today people think that people are arrogant today Ali I don't see any arrogance today what we see is terrible sense of inferiority of mediocrity a sense of smallness a person doesn't realize who he is person doesn't realize who he is then he gets into trouble I told him came into the says didn't have a lot of had to wait for the floor to go in asks he said says didn't have a 120 years the man is building a boat the whole world is mocking him the whole world is cing at him he's building a boat for 120 years that's called besides the fact he didn't even have to have a spoke to him didn't need a didn't need faith he didn't he didn't have in himself he had a lot of he didn't have in himself he didn't realize the of a person says he didn't believe in it he didn't said I'm going to bring a flood all he said is yes sir build a boat so everybody will drown and you'll survive okay okay sir yes boss he says look at mem said build a boat I'm destroying everybody else he says not on my dead that I'm put him a person has to realize doesn't he thinks he's a drunk and he doesn't realize his put him a Jew thinks he's an insignificant creature and he doesn't realize the real we all get drunk in life and we don't realize our power the tragedy of that Jew was he looked at himself in the Mir said I can give in the world that's today also people look at themselves they say I'm I know who I am M my mother-in-law doesn't know who I am at least you think so M this one doesn't know who I am but I know who I am so I'm to something came to the once and he asked for said what are you coming to me for he he says even a The Peasant says what do I have to give you right so that was his but a person looks at himself he doesn't realize who he is people have a lot of they just don't have that they're part of and who they are in their capacity says that's the danger of don't take I don't mean only this you look at P you could think it's the it's the party and the whole pus of P gets [Music] lost [Music] thank you much [Applause] to live streaming yeah no well you you I'm thinking of getting one cuz he asked me to videotape some St for him and so I went to go look into it and um you do happen the next year came out all Esther managed to do was should give us the second letter allowing the Jews to defend themselves against their enemies on not to reverse the original edict which gave a right to every and an obligation to kill Jews Jews could now fight back with the approval and the stamp and the encouragement of the king over the year the have Chang why did that happen why couldn't he just send a letter have that's not cover to say the first ones were a mistake or forged the first ones remain we're going to do a second letter that you could defend yourself this explains an interesting I said it to one of an old question why es is called Tinus Esther fast of Esther what's the what's the what's the sh the reason the reason we because why do we f to fast for 3 days why fast for 3 Days 3 days doesn't mean 3 days it means [Music] because what do we do we fast one day you why [Music] you the reason is because by Eden was when they went to war they used to fast why because fasting creat and when they need went to war they needed a special special they used to fast as anion of CHA and a Ron in order to be victorious G it was a day of War it was serious serious combat 75,000 dead in all over the provinces but these 75,000 weren't innocent bystanders they were people who came with swords and knives and axes to hunt down Jews and the Jews fought back so and then in went another day but then it was a big war so the Jews would fast so we fast for the and then you we celebrate just like G was a difficult day and your was a relaxed day granted why is it why is it called the fast of the Jewish people reason it's called says Inus I think also I that it's you find a mistake think that go to war you fast but here's the problem when you go to war you have to be strong everything you're not lot of f so how do you do both you go to war you want to fast but you're not allow to fast says that they're going to fast after they come back so it's NE the very resolution that they're going to f every old man a baby in the crib everywhere was the front line every kitchen every dining room every bedroom every park there was no front L every Jew was a Target if every Jew was a Target every Bubba in her house had to be able to pick up a knife was there any Jew who was allowed to fast that day I'll not one cuz everybody was in s fighting everybody it was only one Jew was a lot of fast the only one who was a lot of fast was es her she didn't have to she knew was going to come kill her that's why it's called the only one who fasted was everybody else you got I got the [Music] halfway so now comes so they have to fight original was was just is the story in the if you listen to the or this morning or last night and you understood now let's go to the next step [Music] next add the extra the first thing is let's take when it Sayes it happened is there so that created the whole thing the whole problem comes Esther and says says I want to reverse it never happened let's change off no in life people look at their own lives what they want to do is at some point they want to come into the they want to say reverse the past reverse the past he says that's not only we can't we don't want to reverse the past if we reverse the past we'll gain that there was no past but we won't be able to transform the p s starts laughing she hear she's going to have a baby at 90 you would also start laughing some of us would cry laughing crying GL GL lost in so he turns to her and he says says why is she laughing right so of course like a good Jewish husband confronts his wife why she was scared at first glance it seems like a classic Jewish C s say I didn't laugh all you did what's the that's it that's where the story ends okay you did right that's it next moves On's okay this case he was right but the husband was right in this case she did laugh said I laugh but she did so she wasn't the same person so she said when a person does his become like mistakes mistakes you forgive slams that do on you finger by mistake you're not going to forgive them was a mistake I'm sorry it's a mistake I said something about mistake I didn't mean it of course you forgive you don't understand our is you don't run away from the sin the sin is transformed into a transforms into aah Don't Run Away you laugh take the laughter with you supplement made the laughter it's a whole different forget the past he says no that's [Music] not we look at our P people look at the mistakes they made this I should have done this I should have done that of this my youth this happened this happened when I was engaged when I got married when I was a b when a kid if only if if only I would have listened to Al you're making a mistake you're dealing with he doesn't want from you never no [Music] no the very that was the day of the day of Celebration not a of running away from it to take the negative energy and to transform it spoke the other day we're learning in our early said that anything that's going to become on its own in the future there's no B so for example an egg is born on yam right so you're not let to eat the egg so let's say the egg you're not let eat it because it was born on so whatever the reason is but it's so what happens if it gets mixed into says it's since it's going to become tonight so wait wait till it becomes so there's no bit anything it's going to become say whatever he says why is it that there's no does 60 during the day does one why doesn't get the 15th day says [Music] is is the first day you calculate sins so [Music] the Yip everybody has a clean slate four days between and sukus everybody is busy they don't have time to do avadas people are fighting with each other by the price of the es the lul of the Suka they're bargaining they're running they're stressed out when is the first time you could really sin the first night of suus he come everybody he's relaxed [Music] first now the calculation starts understand a Jew starts sinning on maybe there'll be a Jew who won't S when he comes into the to put such a black State on every Jew that the first night of sukus is going to start this is how you have to think he says the difference May discipline strength it's not isus is of he says like this so the sins become mistakes and they're dismissed they're disgarded what happens on sukus sukus a Jew does says don't dismiss your sins bring them all back let's make a every one of them becomes a everyone becomes bring them all [Music] back what do you see we we do what's we go to the [Music] water somebody they called him a whatever and he went and he did so into water so so recently it also happened was and guys jumped in they started to kill each other you don't have to this a guy called me called me but he has he has like 50 and there what should he do he has you have to match the right to the right person you do to a skinny guy it's not going to work for him you have to do something else for the right you have to match the right to the right but you have for everybody 70 and he didn't like my idea so what do you do you go you go to the water you throw away you throw away the water okay that's now look at this half fell what happens onus what they do to go to every morning every they drew the water what were they doing you took your sins and you threw them into the water you got rid of that on sukus you go back to the water you reclaim exactly take them out of the water you reclaim that's power in life is not to reverse your past there's no such a thing comes from we're all trying to do a whole day we go what if I would have married somebody else if I would have taken another job if I would have gone to another Yesa I wouldn't have been in that night if I wouldn't have been in my would have had this person all the issues that people strugg but sometimes our whole life we're looking at the past and for good reason what if says it's not what you have to do is much deeper you're going to take everything that you experience and you'll transform it and you'll use it as a catalyst and a springboard for a new type of life that would have been impossible without [Music] it create a new type of that they couldn't have created without it don't tell me you didn't laugh people everyone wants to walk around as though they were born they don't have a past it's not a good idea the end what do we do we turn around you ever notice or you're busy sending emails you stop okay you s okay but you stop so after then SE [Music] once after everybody turns around we turn around the reason is there a few reasons whatever the reasons why we turn around tell you what he says beautiful heart it's very applicable nowadays a person discovers shabas I say it often people who Chang their whole life not people who are ffbs say from birth don't understand what it means a person a person come leaves a whole family and starts a whole new life yeah it's not simple person has they have inlaws they have parents they have siblings they have nephews nieces brothers and most sisters and mother you have a person leaves their whole past life and starts a new life it's far from one of the natural Temptations is we want to so integrate into our new life we want to forget our past you want to say goodbye to your past I don't know you I'm a new person once you tast that's it before you do m you have to look back you have to turn around don't run into shabas without who you are because it's going to come back to bite you and H you what's the end of there's no para that has such an anticlimactic culmination like don't jump up steps because I may see that you're not so uh modest that's the end the whole culmination of this is the end the is that sometimes you see God and you're tempted to run up to the says don't run up so fast don't take such steep steps you know you know why cuz after a few years you're going to look at yourself in the mirror you're going to say Where am I then you may take a deep deep dive into the you're going to wake up one day you're going to say Where am I I'm dead right they say that one of the in Cuba told his constituents he said have great news yesterday we were standing at the edge of the abyss and today we took a giant step forward so what happens is you go up very very high it happens a lot of you know you're 18 years old you decide you know what I mean you deci the next or at least the next or at least know that face know that face you're going to St like for 29 years Etc then decide maybe even whatever and then a few days later you walk in the street and you see something and you realize so what happens it happens often in life you go into shabas you can't forget your past you have to take with your P Hashem put you where he put you for a reason not to run away from it the energy that people put into what if what if what if they want to forget their past it's not is to take with your past turn around take that into sh because the ultimate purpose is to transform that's every mistake you ever made in life can become a springboard for rejuvenation for rediscovering the it's a fairy tale not but it's a good ver he was a manager top executive in IBM and he made a terrible mistake in business and basically he cost the company $10 million so the next day he realized his mistake he gave it his resignation papers so this CEO calls him in he says why are you resigning for he says after what I did what I did I'm just leaving you don't owe me anything I'm so sorry he was crying he was a good guy he says why you leaving he says you don't have to throw me out in the S SP I just leaving he says you leaving I just I just invested $1 million in your education and you're leaving and it was a brilliant idea because he kept them there and the Lord loyalty that he engendered as a result is of course [Music] unparallel we're on now we're live on air not didn't ground but [Music] you know what a is a Matchmaker he speaks lies and he takes money he calls the and he says I have for you already at the age of five he finished at the age of 14 at the age of 17 nothing like it the guy can't read That's calls the I heard that unbelievable she'll be with you thick and th she also finished met met a girl so they finished the dates of the sh the girl tells Whispers told me he's slim he's fat told me he's handsome he has ugly as the devil you told me he's tall he's short told me he's smart he's dumb told me he's educated he's illiterate she's Whispering says you don't have to whisper he's deaf too so uh that's how Works he sells the brookly bridge and then the next day he sells the Williamsburg Bridge he sells the Manhattan Bridge but he gets it done at the end they get engaged they get married wedding should they come home after the wedding they come to their apartment the hotel room whatever it is who do they see in the hotel room the the C and I CL I Clank says I need a place to live and I thought this is a good place a couple were trying to play house say let's face it without me you two would have been as far as Mars from Venus the only reason you're together is because of me I sold the bridge to your mother to your mother to your father to your father I lied I exaggerated I dramatized I'm responsible for this I'm going to live with you for 2 three years until I could find another paros and I'll be able to rent the basement somewhere you look at the shot you say the guy is nuts you did your job take your check Okay g and go find yourself another place says no I made I want to be here with youbody understands you without you we would have not known each other but now it's time for you to take a hike and go find some [Music] else in life you need a everybody needs a you need the people the middle man you know huh you need the people with socks on socks but you need this middle man this the people who connect you networking you know they're the ones who uh bring you together between a Jew and hasem there's also generally mind the mind of a person the mind of a person is curious is inquisitive is wonders asks questions what is life and the mind so to speak creates a continuous challenge to the human being to ask who we are why we are what we are so the mind is so to speak the sh between the human flesh the human body and the creator of the world and it's not an easy job because every day again the body says I don't know this I don't have what this count leave me alone this date is over this relationship is over say no no no there's a deeper truth something deeper in life there's something higher in life you're not just a beast you're not just a narcissistic materialistic piece of matter a piece of clay has to work you learn you think and so forth then once a year what happens once a year a Jew turns to the sh turns to his mind he says for one day go away from me let me have intimacy with my themselves leave me alone one day a year you take your and you say do me a favor I get you you're important one day a year leave me alone let me experience directly my Creator my soul my that's so which is the real day PM is the real day the rest of the year you wear masks PM is the real day where do you see it you see it in the mill the word Das how do we call religion in Hebrew what's the word for religion you ever heard the word and we was the word do introduced in you don't have once you have once and it's part of but will you have the word frequent first time where was very inter [Music] religion [Music] they're busy with the Persians get into religion Das there's one time that there's no [Music] tells do everything [Music] is says in we say three times [Music] one more you don't have I think in the [Music] regular why wasn't says that's it's not according to the structure so you couldn't put it in the had to come later what's haste says I can't walk I don't have did I walk in you come out with a head shorter in other words if you're not ready to die you don't belong in the I'm not ready to die I'm a regular person I like a couple of dollars I like a piece of sushi like a couple some money a nice house some cover well I'm going to go to the [Music] what it's not a joke not a joke life is not a joke you were placed where you were placed with Esther was wondering where do I come here you ever wondered why did say uncertainty if you're trying to convin somebody to sacrifice their life you have to [Music] say you know what means who knows in English when you say who knows like who knows maybe yes maybe not that's uncertain it's uous know [Music] know was saying something very deep looks at and says how do I end up here with this Persian Shen I was a regular bakov girl a regular mon girl I did everything right I graduated by by by whatever it is whatever the right SCH am right [Music] whatever I got everything I'm a regular good girl 19-year-old graduates from of or of mon I was expecting a fromis from [Music] from was a good girl she ends up with from Persia guy who killed his first queen after [Music] 18 what's the answer to that says two words key [Music] words that's the source of what motivated es means who knows there are things in life that are not accessible to D we say it every morning what's the difference so it's the part of that people don't like you [Music] know you should think about it what's the difference there a nice for it also [Music] everybody hasu what's is the baggage you collected from your mother and father the jeans you carry from your parents everybody here is a product of their parents for good and for better and your grandparents back 4,000 years everybody's a product of TTI Andy he told me once he said all his life he's just looking for approval of his father nothing else all he wants is his father to approve what he's doing problem he can't get it you know his [Music] father to be able to make peace with you is not so simple Lan not so simple to make peace with one's father with one mother emotional devotional cons to be able to say my should say then there's is your own lot you work hard and you achieve things it's your own is you go to a counselor a therapist he says you're good to be this type of person you know people 20 years they go searching what type of job is good for them it's called vocation counseling I know a guy who doing it for 30 years I told him do it another 30 years and by that time done we'll do you're good to go they whole life they're looking what's forget my father I don't want to go into my father's business what's it's easy to go into your father's business father was a plumber you'll be a plumber your father was a rabbi you'll be a rabbi your father was a this you'll be a this your father loved money you love money that's simple what are you going to create for yourself not your father so that's that what you're good at you're skilled at you work hard and this is yours you look at some point you know what I did this but then there is then there's something much deeper what's a a means that which falls into your lap you can't even explain why me how me when you say this person won a g it's not rational why did you win the lottery why did you win the G I don't know there's no rational connection you could say you know this guy is good he's good with numbers he's good with Biology he's good with his mouth he's good with his pen he's an ambitious businessman guy comes to a rabbi he says Rabbi I need no no no I have two choices should I start singing or should I start dancing so the r says you should start dancing says why you saw me dance he saids no but I heard you sing okay you have to know what you're good at you have to know what you're not good at don't quit your day job sometimes you have to tell a person this is not for you this is not for you you're a good man this is not for you some people think they have to be in it's not for them they're to teach children like you're to train turtles in New Zealand they're not made for that other people are not made for other things it's a big in life to know what you're good at and but you're not good at every Jew has to be good at everything you're not some people I know I don't change light bulbs I I don't put in made ready I used to get break off the class your St you have to know what you're good at what you're not good at I don't F laundry I [Music] refuse I thought we were all thr out examples I apologize you're going to go around sorry is is things it's a how did this end up in my tells says how does a nice good s whatever you want I don't know what Esther was she was pers of course her name es L Howes L end up in Persia in Teran wherever it was the same question he could have said some things are not you could use your mind all day some things you end up in life with there's no rational explanation why you and how you but don't think it's not is so deep comes from a place of comes from a [Music] place somehow your has this you end up with certain people certain situations Don't Run Away you have to be able to look and say there's a sweetness not easy but you have to be able to say it's not clear you ever went on a Jeep on Doo don't unless you want to have a hero children you'll feel like the escape goat Two Goats one ends [Music] up the other one in one ends up by the AR no other carbon went into the only the only one whole year and one ends up down a cliff in the abyss a fragmented broken shattered so we look at these two boys ah it must be this kid had a normal mother this kid had a crazy mother this kid had a functional father and this kid had an alcoholic Gambler addict codependent sugar temperamental father this kid was nurtured this kid was molested this kid the rebi picked him up and this kid was in this yiva and they put him down and told him ID father and you know what sometimes that's true we all know sometimes that's true sometimes this kid got a sour plate for the family or school or situations that happen yeah that's true it's not so simple sometimes you look at the goats and they're identical the mar they're identical can't blame the mother you can two kids in the same family loving parents one ends up inash one else she asked why answer is it's a a is not nobody knows [Music] this means every person has a different you can't be judgmental oh you have to fit into my Bo doesn't work that way everyone has a different Mission everyone has a different so Esther when to heard this you know what she [Music] says triggered an es if Esther would have come to a regular good Rabbi and said should I go in every reason you shouldn't go every reason to go was a different type of Jew he makes a he says [Music] judism is not about worshiping structure and remaining stuck in your comfort zone let's face it for many of us religion is about remaining stuck in the comfort zone there's no stop with DOs there's no you know is both in Hebrew and in yish you know what do is in in Israel it's very [Music] derogatory I want saw a letter from to somebody he wrote to the that he's so he wrote like this he said from the day of about there's no such thing comes from [Music] the says part of I'm sorry I can't accept that time about you so it's easy for structural purposes you're this you're that so I'll PE you could say you need a once a year you have to send away the to the to the to the islands in in Africa and you have to [Music] say don't [Music] worry stop liting yourself stop putting yourself in to box that's what said once a year don't send away the so really put him is the put him has to be a whole year but a whole year we wear a mask a whole year we have to look normal so we wear masks put you take off the mask how do you take over the mask by putting on a mask by covering up a whole year you become real person a whole year you wear masks you're busy being normal it's the real you don't is connected are we [Music] communicating let get our I I almost kill people so I have like two sets you want to [Applause] sing la [Applause] h [Music] oh [Music] yeah oh [Applause] oh you you oh h can't you send your car again from Washington your great academics in medicine special I know you brother brother brother brother fr you're so receptive love and your know [Music] [Applause] love oh you your [Applause] your [Applause] your you [Music] [Applause] la [Music] this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even a small contribution at ww.the usa.net donate