Q&A Session With Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss Shlit"a

here in the air gun so we will we will speak in a veiled way friday night is a special time for husband and wife there are many reasons for that it's a time of own age it's a time where they both have an ashama yasera a better glow it's important that it should be used properly and it's important that the husband shows that this is a priority to his wife and the wife shows that this is a priority to the husband this is very important we don't pronounce yourself your soccer except the first time because it's also veiled in code but the fact that leia showed her desire the mandrakes of your son and she showed her desire for yaakov that's the reward of a husband that makes it clear that he's making time for his wife and a wife that makes it clear that she's making time for her husband that's why i never had in my cahilla a share for women friday night ever that's why a woman should make sure she's well rested and it's not the time for other pursuits a a a man that goes to a rebels tish has to consult his diane and his rebbe to know when that's proper this is very important i said enough let's go further i learned off yomi but lately i've been bombarded with other exciting choices such as kenyan masata or isa and dirshu's mishna brewer what should i choose this is a challenge that affects a lot of people i was always learning dafyami but now i'm reconsidering you know it's not my first rodeo and i come to the gemara and i don't recognize it from last time what am i getting out of it maybe if i learned kenyan miss after where they learn it and they hazard it and they learn it again and they hazard again and they learn small amounts maybe i'll absorb it maybe i'll really have something to show for it and you know i'm learning these massacres like your vomits that's when when we learn masektosakivamas that's when people are really you know because they say i don't understand everything so what am i doing they're learning in horizon i can understand him that's for me of course i'm partial i'm a big daffy man but i i believe that remem you know in the casino good isla when the good islam of yesteryear decided ramayana shapiro advanced the idea of da fayemi it was a road back and a plan that people could go to the next world having lunch us because when it says who is fortunate and who could say i lived a a good life it says you want to be able to learn shas you need the discipline of dafyani otherwise you're not going to get through creases and schwarz and biharis and your vomits and neither i you'll say but i don't know it both wrote palm who spoke about it in madison square garden and who's the roving arts child that was killed in the car accident with pinkus rapinkus both repentance pinkish echostatic rocker both rappamer pinkish said that once you learn it you'll be admitted into the gateways in heaven for the atmosphere but you have to learn it that's the discipline of daffy now it could be you're already retired and maybe you could do both that's great but don't give up on dhafa yani don't give up now dear shoe mishna brewer is something else you see we need to know how to we need to know the laws and that's a special love by hashem i mean israel hashem loves the gates of halacha and therefore dear shoe is something that people should try to find time to do and of course we need to be marvel cedra when your mother said to the first school in shas to live long time as a follow-up there are spectacular online shirum by using this option i could also be home with my wife so that she shouldn't feel lonely as we are empty nesters is it okay to forgo being part of a live shearer because of this consideration unfortunately especially after covert we're seeing a decline in live lectures it's a lot easier especially on a cold snowy night where parking is a premium it's a lot easier to sit on your lazy boy maybe you even have a massage chair with a ipod propped up and your convenient online talmud class and not venture outside but you're sacrificing a lot first of all that connection with a rebbe that you get from sitting with your rebbe and that daily connection is not the same when you listen to an online ledge and then there's the cabaretery of being part of a group and then when you don't show up you have the pressure they're gonna know that i wasn't there that's a pressure you don't have that pressure if you tune into an online show who knows maybe i'm tuning on to another i don't know so you can be absent for a month or a year and the camaraderie and the care that members of bashir have for one another and they share in their successes and their joys and they appear to console when they go through loss that camaraderie is lost we need to really strengthen our lives urine a related question i belong to a nightly daphyomichabura once a week my wife wants me to listen to a sheer online in the morning so that we can have some quality time together once a week in the evening should i break my cavias and seed to her wishes okay this is a whole horse of a different color here it's actually one of my zoom tamidim wants to know his wife wants to spend some time with him in the night at least once a week so on it wants to take off a night and that that day he'll listen to my share on tour anytime.com on color lotion and the answer is that's of course a good idea i don't know if it has to be once a week whatever it is but i've always recommended my talmudim that you have to take off time to spend with your wife rakhine vital says they asked them how do you know if a person is a good person and raphaim battal said see how he treats his wife god allah talmud great is learning chat talmud may really day myself because learning brings to action our learning is only good if we're a good husband for a good wife otherwise the learning is not good and if a wife is asking that i need more of your time in the night so then that's the correct way to go remember that the din is that when it comes to learning if it's a mitzvah if it's something that can't be done with by others then you close your gemara and do the mitzvah well you don't want your wife to be with other people so if your wife is asking for your attention then you close the gemara and learn a different time rabbi weiss i live in a community where the children of even certain robotim both hasidis and safardasha use scooters and play ball on shabbos we want to raise our children not to do so but what should we tell our children when they ask how come all these fine families do so are they doing something wrong ah how do we tell our children to be on a higher level without looking disparagingly at those people that did not reach that level yet that's smart we went to hotels i was scotland residents and in hotels on shabbos a pastime was to play pink punk and my children were semi-professional ping-pong players that's how good they were i never wanted them to play ping-pong on shoppers because first of all if you play ping-pong well you gotta move and the first thing we say in kiddish is in toshib if you withhold from on the shabbos your feet right it says initially they thought the rabbis were desecrating the shabbos because they ran to hear torah right at first we thought that when it says near the philadelphia hashem that's different you could run to hear hashem we also ran but only to hear torah i personally think i said i went once to a community where i was scouring residents and i couldn't get into the shul i had to climb over literally 50 scooters that were in front of the jewel on shabbos to me that's not roxanna's and when i walked outside i saw children not dressed in shabby sticker clothing playing basketball that's not ruach but it's not the proper education to tell your children this is wrong behavior we don't tell our children when we see somebody dabbing a shorter shminer s rate that they're wrong we tell them we want you to upgrade and to try to dive in a little longer we don't have to say something is wrong we could say that in our family we like to have an elevated ruach on shabbos it's an elevated ruach i think i heard once from rabbi twierski of blessed memory that a godot came to the house and wanted to play with him chess on chavez and they played chess on chapters afterwards rabbi twiskie's father said you know we feel that we could do even better things on chalice he didn't say that was wrong to play chess on shoppers there are other people that play chess on shabbos i would play chess on shabbos but we have better things to do on chalice that's the right way to be mechanic not to downgrade but to say that we could elevate ourselves more in less than 40 days we will be saying the awesome prayer of mimi lobakitso who will live who will die who in their assigned time and who before their assigned time especially if i'm a young person how am i supposed to feel tremor and trepidation from this prayer as i know that the odds are overwhelmingly in my favor interesting question asked for my wonderful bob carrera and my new cahilla and argus israel of fairways lakewood if gedalia wants to know how can we uh feel a sense of or if we're 30 years old 40 years old 50 years old we're supposed to feel on rosh hashanah miyamas who's going to live who's going to die mibikitsa who in his time he labor kitsai the lloyds of london we give a person that's 30 40 50 very good odds what are we supposed to we're supposed to get ourselves all worked up so first of all we're not only praying for ourselves we're praying for our grandparents they don't have such good odds anymore that's number one we're paying for our tadikim for our righteous people this year we suffered terribly last rosh hashanah when we said it was decided that would not be with us anymore it was decided that david feinstein wouldn't be with us anymore it was decided that rabzikaya wallerstein wouldn't be here anymore how could a person say without feeling a tremor but of course it's more than that we know hamira sakantami isura that danger is much more serious than issa much more serious and that therefore we wash my machine because of one current one granule of meloxidinus in a curve a curious dirty saw 180 cap for one grain of melatonin well i was so worried about one grain and 180 so yeah when it comes to sakana khamir sakantam let me tell you something there are a lot of chemo labs in sloan kettering in maimonides in the bronx in the mayo clinic full of young people with cancer can somebody say that they could breeze through hashanah people find out overnight they get a sudden pain they feel a lump they get dizzy and all of a sudden overnight how can a person get up to me yes i make me like mckinsey the people that happened before their time because they don't treat the wife properly so hashem says this poor woman he's stuck with this guy he's never going to divorce so i got to save her a different way people die that way people die because they do macholicas and the ground opens up and swallows them like it did with kyra how could you say me you hear me almost without being worried a listener writes i'm an older single and people tell me i'm not doing enough ishtadlis i'm frustrated for i believe that there is a basherta for me and hashem just didn't decide yet to send her to me am i being blamed for this there are singles that are certainly to be blamed now they said this is a strong message to people that are hurting but we know that a person's parnassa is decided on rosh hashanah and yet there are people that don't make ends meet why because you could get a sack of panasa but if you don't go to work properly then you're not going to get it so we all know that there is proper hishtar is that we all know we all know the question is how much establish but a girl certainly cannot say look my parents are quiet people i'm a quiet person hashem is going to send me by my shelter because i have a bachelorette to know a person has to make your stats there's no question about but now i'll tell you something else let's say a person does make his start list by work but makes the wrong ish dauntless goes to work and tells the boss you know this is a dumb way to run a business he can't understand why he keeps on losing his job can't understand it or he comes to work but he decides that he doesn't like to be he doesn't like to be dedicated to the clock so he comes in whenever he wants he's on his 16th job he said well i'm doing a status you're doing the wrong steps there are girls and boys that are making his daughters but they're making the wrong mistakes first of all they have a list a mile long he can't be hamish he must be heimish he can't be tall he must be tall over six feet at least we need to live in muncie and only in old muncie and we can't move until we marry off all our grandchildren we need to live in our situation we need to live out of town we cannot live out of town we need to live in a single house not even a house connected to another house we the more he can't have a beard he must have a beard she should be blonde she can't be black she can't be a redhead the more knows that we have the harder it is to get married and we might be throwing away our now that's making the wrong establish a person has to know they have to make the rightish status here's a person they don't live at home anymore so they don't even have parents to tell them here he he happens to date and he picks his nose and lets it fall into the food you can't understand why all the girls are saying no on the first day she's still wearing hand-me-down clothing from her oldest sister from the 1970s i don't understand why the boys aren't so interested there there's there's the wrong histodless and it's happening a lot it's it's vital that girls and boys are proactive they get shatchanim and they make sure that the people who are giving information about them know them and are giving the right information i find out many times that the people are giving information aren't even saying nice things or you call up well you're on the resume well i don't really know them this is but you're on the resume i'm i'm i think he's nice but i'm not sure people don't know they didn't say yes as a follow-up what does the rub feel about that hashem wants from the 50 000 older singles who are waiting for their bachelorette fifty thousand plus not fifty thousand fifty thousand plus so the one thing that's important is that they diven for each other not just them for themselves but down for each other column is it's also important that they help each other you have a shidduch and it didn't work for you right away think who would this be good for that's very important very important i think it's also important that they make sure that they're upbeat a boy or a girl could see if someone is beaten by life and if they're beaten if they're not vivacious if they're tired it's a turn off a boy and a girl should have a mouridera somebody that could reevaluate maybe i should consider looking for a little different now that i'm five years older i should about reevaluate what i should be looking for it's very important this deserves a whole discussion on its own but let's go further rabbi weiss we had the three weeks and we had tish above we all sat on the floor and cried about the destruction of yerushalayim it seems very hypocritical to me that at the same time many of our brethren are buying homes in boca and l.a instead of opting to move to air chisro why aren't we being told to follow the ways of the villain in the ways of the ville nagoyan and the prophet zhaim who pined to go to eretz israel actually it's today in 1809 that 70 tall medium of the vilnigan settled in earth's israel you know in 1793 the vilnigan tried to get hurt so much wanted to go to heaven that by every khasana of his daughter when he promised support he put in the clause but if i want to move territorial i could move territory even by his last daughter and when he married his second rabbitson he also put in a clause that she shouldn't stop him from moving towards as well however no one that lives in earth israel should make people that live in kutzler it's guilty ramayana the topic is it's an optional mitzvah it's not a requirement that's number one number two there were a lot of reasons why for a family going towards the show would be a wrong idea whether it means abandoning family parents children whether it means risking the bringing of adolescents and younger children who if are not able to adjust to the change could go off to derek it's not something at all to be taken lightly the challenges that could come about for serving in the army although in my show we say the trilo for the khayalim and we are proud and appreciative of our brave jewish brethren who risked their lives to protect all of achinobina israel but life in the army is very difficult for a fremier even with elite battalions that are religious and even with hez do you it's not so simple to navigate the uh challenge of the army also for many people living with the fear of a barrage of missiles and attacks it's not so simple so it's not for everyone and one should certainly not feel we mourn for the fact for the time when we have a basement dish and an oran and a shukham which is the real iron dome we mourn for that time when the shrine is in our midst and that we're protected and that we have kedusha if you really want khaduja open up a gemara yakarihime plenum it's more precious than paninim which says it's more precious than the kind god of wentworth nail of them that means more than just inherits israel it's more precious to the kind goddell that went in on the holiest day of the year and i'm keeping the holiest place in the earth the holy of holies you open up a gemara if you're pining for kaduja open up a gemara open up bakumish open up a navi open up a mishnais rabbi weiss i'm frightened about the growing divorce rate among younger single younger couples with my children in the parsha what can i do to protect them from such a scary fate it is scary i i heard from just one beznia that they had four or five getting of younger couples in one week it's it's it's a makke it's a plague it's scary so what can we do the first thing we could do is model shalom by is that's the first thing the best way to ensure that our children will have shalom bias is that we parents should behave nicely to one another respectfully to one another considerately to one another caringly to one another that's the first step because what they see at home that's what they'll bring into their homes that's the first step the second step is to make sure that your child looks for the right things you look for somebody that's easy going someone that's flexible someone that's kind you look for the right things the dollar signs the looks the cars the houses that's not going to be it helps to have money it does but that's not the kingdom of the marriage it's the character it's the simcha sakayam it's the easy going flexible nature that's number two number three my rabbit since old zangasund gave me a good marshal she said if you're sending your child to camp for the first time would you tell your would you send a child to camp without telling them what it's like you want to tell your child as much as you know you're going to be in a room with a lot of people it's going to be noisy in the night you know there's going to be bugs no sometimes there'll be a smell you might not like the foods you know sometimes it's going to be very noisy you know sometimes you might not like the games that they play you want to give them at least a little information that shouldn't be shock treatment marriage is shock treatment take a boy you put together the boy with a girl this boy doesn't even have sisters he doesn't know what a girl is and all of a sudden he's living in the same room as the girl shock treatment you send him in without giving him any giving him and our any advance education today there are ways that a young man and a young lady could get some premarital instruction and it's a very good idea it's a very good idea for a young man to be taught about offering help even before they're asked it's a very good idea for a young lady to be taught that men are different than women and to show them how that is my robertson and i are thinking about maybe making a webinar about charlemagne first for women that maybe i'll do something for men but it's a good idea also when the girl is sent to a college teacher and the boy is sent to a hassan rabbi make sure that they're just not learning the dry halachas but that they're seasoned professionals that explain to them what to expect and how to excel this is very important that's the end of the questions right i want to add one more question i lost my husband i lost my wife eleno i'm thinking whether i should try to get married again but i hear a lot of horror stories maybe it's better to stay alone and if i do then how could i not be one of the disasters elaine is a it's zoeva good for man to be alone the bhava rabbit rabbi shleimer said that only one place in the torah it says man was not meant to be alone and it's not good to grow old alone oh havruzo mizusa either companionship or death but it's true there are a lot of disasters much of the time the ruination of second marriages come from the children we need to educate children child especially married children married children should understand the married child says why do you have to get married mommy was good you had it it's enough now be there for us this is actual words of intelligent children this is terrible it's as bad as the banana yeshiva that are disrespectful to the english teachers massive hashem on a on a regular daily basis what do you need to do you need to educate do you realize what you're doing do you realize and when you don't behave with your english teacher even suffering chuva and your surrender is not enough to atone you need death we need educate we need to educate children that the posix says it's not for you to say to your parent not to get married and it's not a disrespect to your parents for your parent to marry again you want to tell them that in shamayim your parent wants the parent to be happy even if they weren't happy down here but he needs education and other people should get in and educate the children stop being a brat now it's the same thing that there are wicked stepmothers they come in and they favor their own children and the other children feel ostracized in their own home and that causes intense dislike to the stepmother that's also a terrible thing when i married my wonderful rabbitson we went when we were crossing in cali we went to the square ever and i asked the square rabbit besides for a bronco for advice and he said treat your new children even better than your own children that's the way to look at it it's fraught with challenges a new mom a new wife that has hard children and her husband's children when one of her children has a baby she's very happy to have the kimpether in the home it's her children one of her husbands children has a baby it's strange start to have the kimchi at home it's not my my daughter it's not my grandchild it's a challenge it is a it is a challenge but okay think about it to bring back who for abram are you kidding me hugger the woman that his mother threw out of the house and he brought her back to marry his father tyra is setting a lesson they're sending a lesson how children want to want to see the happiness of their parent and not to be selfish so children need to be highly reprimanded it's a hard subject nobody should have to go through this everybody should be with their original spouse until 120. get married a second time i believe that div married five times is that correct does anybody here know i think so yes yes i'm sorry for three times great people and their families worked with it because their families of torah and they know not to be selfish and they know that it's part of quebec aim i want to apologize to all of you for the lateness of the hour and for being such a wonderful audience i want to remind everybody that tomorrow night is the annual dinner for irregular uh there will be a video of kanyevsky shortly before he passed away thoughts from rav stanbach and it's kisik for the ergon for all those that can attend again thank you very much for coming and in the schools of our learning we should all be [Music] were answering all the shout outs but actually we should have told the sponsors of tonight's share of baby spry mr mrs mendel weinstein mr mrs charles fisher oberlander family and mr mrs issac club all the men are invited to join us at the annual dinner tomorrow night on israel avenue k doors open seven p.m community entire world of virginia tower worldwide over them for participating kimmel and everyone who helped with the shield the whole summer you can show utara continues throughout the year if seth smith has a sunday morning share call igor tara718 851-8651 or email isd to shivernet.com for more information no no no no i told him i'm not paying you i paid him afterwards