Rabbi Ephraim Tanenbaum - Without Struggle There is No Progress

You know, when I think about Khazak when I try to share my my my thoughts, my feelings about the organization of Khazak I feel that I should I should begin with something that we find by the time of creation when Hashem said about Adam Harishon lo tov Adam levado esah lo ezer kenegdo that is not good that man should be all alone I'm going to make him a wife. Now, conventionally, I think the way people think of that pasuk, it's not good that man is all alone. You know, I I have this image in my head. I remember a few years ago I was a chasan and I I was listening to a speech at that time. I think it was Rabbi Akiva Tatz, I can't remember for sure. And he was talking about about you know, having appreciation for your spouse and he described he depicted the scene. He said, "If you didn't have a wife, he said, imagine where you would be now. You would have come home from work today and you didn't canned peas straight out of the can and you would have put it on a piece of on a page of the yellow pages and thrown the page out when you were done." That was the the the scene that he depicted in trying to give over and you know, when when we read this pasuk "ezer kenegdo Adam levado" so I think conventionally we think yeah, because you know, if a person you know, is alone without a wife, so there, you know, that that scene just describes it perfectly well. Guess what? There's a Gemara in Chagiga daf nun tes that says that Adam Harishon haya mesivna Gan Eden v'hayu malachei hashareis tzalim lo basar u'meshanin lo yayin Adam Harishon had a full staff of chefs and butlers. These chefs and butlers were trained in the most prestigious academies. They were malachei hashareis. He was not missing any creature comfort. He was not missing missing any domestic comfort. So what was the levado? He was living with the malachei hashareis who waited upon him hand and foot and Hashem says lo tov you know, you might think hey, that sounds pretty tov. Lo tov hayaise Adam levado so Chaim says because the title levado means somebody that's going to be proud of your accomplishments. Somebody that's going to that that that's going to be that's going to share your frustration, that's going to give you encouragement and the malachei hashareis were like hired help because they didn't relate personally to Adam Harishon. So with all the chefs and butlers of the malachei hashareis academy waiting upon him, that's still levado because the antidote to levado is somebody that cares. Somebody who really feels for you. Now this sounds like maybe it would be a sheva brachos speech Khazak do you know, do I have the wrong organization here? Khazak they say help the couples also, but of course that's not but that that that's all of Now let's Reb Shimon Shkop, I want to share with you to develop this idea just a drop further. Reb Shimon Shkop talks in his Hakdama to Shaarei Yosher. He talks about the conflict that people sometimes imagine between the innate feeling that we're born with of ahavas atzmius, self-love and ahavas zulasa love for others and of course all the spiritual growth comes from helping others, doing for others, prioritizing others and so one comes to think that there's a battle between these two forces and that our avoda is to try to subjugate the ahavas atzmius, to try to suppress that. But guess what? We all know the Gemara says in Bava Metzia daf shin alef in the midbar bein ish u'veaya echad me kidei shamayim halacha yikchu kaidmin. The Torah actually endorses prioritizing yourself. So it's not only human nature, it's also endorsed by the halacha. It's not the it's not the boogeyman, the idea of of being concerned for yourself. So how do you reconcile then this struggle or tension between ahavas atzmius and ahavas zulasa? So Reb Shimon says there's no struggle there's no friction between the two at all. But the size of a person, the sheer of a person's godliness is measured by the size of his self. How broadly does he feel his self, his anochi, who am I? When a when when when a little child a baby is born and a little child is growing up so the only person's needs that affect him naturally are his own needs. When a person grows up a little bit person develops without becoming a big tzaddik, but just very naturally, a person marries, a person has children, a person has a family so the needs of the people immediately around the people of his family become felt like his own needs. We don't think of a person as altruistic when he is pained by his children's pain or when he is working for the sake of his children and for his wife. You know, there was about 3-4 months ago the whole country was was watching this news story about the people that would do anything to get their children into Harvard and Yale and I don't recall that the public reaction was saying "Wow, how altruistic, how noble that these people with they're so selfless that they would do anything to get their children" that's not selfless because that's that that's that's their self. We all relate to the fact that as we grew a little bit older our sense of self expanded and now it's not a struggle, it's not a sacrifice to look out for your wife, for your children because that became incorporated into yourself. Ish haya chofetz b'darkei haTorah Reb Shimon Shkop writes a person who really is developed by the Torah his sense of self broadens and expands until all of Klal Yisrael is included in his sense of self and that he begins to feel the the simcha and the tzaar of all Yidden like he feels the simcha and the tzaar of his of his of his self. And when somebody else needs something it's not a struggle to overcome my inclination, my selfish inclination to look out for the other person. If you've developed yourself enough, then you feel naturally compelled to look out for the other person because that other person is part of me. Because you feel that you are part of this large structure called Klal Yisrael and when Yidden are missing something that hurts yourself. That's the that's he doesn't even say that's the title of a goddo. Ish haya chofetz b'darkei haTorah, it's the personality that the Torah is trying to promote. Khazak is an organization that's comprised of people who feel the tzaruchim, the needs of fellow community members, of the other people in their community, in our community, other people in the Queens Jewish community so intensely that it's their own tzaar. When somebody else is missing something, when other Yidden are missing the things that we take for granted, it hurts. Just like when I'm missing or if chas v'shalom if my wife or my children were missing a yeshiva education, a Torah, a Shabbos, how much it would pain me. And the and I look up so admiringly at the people of Khazak, all of the entire staff of Khazak, some of whom is here now, but the some of whom I met earlier today when I was in the office the the people that are working there are people that are motivated because it hurts them that their fellow Yidden don't have what they have. That their fellow Yidden don't have the Shabbos that they have, the Torah that they have the yeshiva that they have, the middos that they have because our middos come from the Torah also. The the difference between a Yid that goes to yeshiva and a Yid that goes to public school is not just in the tfillin. It's not just in the Shabbos. It's in the language, it's in the way they talk to one another, it's in the kibbud av v'eim, the middos and the tzaar that it would be for anyone if rachmana litzlan our own children our own children were acting like that. And for these people the people that I that that I've met this week in Khazak, it's their own children. The children of their community members is their own children. Ish haya chofetz b'darkei haTorah, the anochi has swelled, has expanded. I think you could say that it's an organization that's a very selfish organization. It's an organization of people with such a great sense of self, such a godless dikker sense of self that their self, their natural self-love like Reb Shimon says, that's all you need. Self-love, just big build a very big self. Their natural self-love does not allow them to rest because because of the of the tzaros the ruchniustiker tzaros, even the gashmiustiker tzaros because they spill over of of of the rest of the Yidden in the Queens Jewish community. You know, on a to talk about Khazak on on a more personal in a more personal way, I want to say over what I was mikabel once from Maran Rabbeinu Zalman Leib Epstein Rosh Yeshiva in Shaarei Torah here in Queens um about about what it takes to make a manhig. The occasion of these words I'll tell you the English date. It was January 15th, 1991. I don't know if anyone here remembers the significance of that day. It was perhaps the most frightening time for Klal Yisrael in my lifetime probably. Probably for in my lifetime. The events were were that a about a few weeks earlier, Iraq had invaded Kuwait and President Bush, Bush the first, 41 gave an ultimatum. January 15th, you withdraw your troops or else the United States and our whole coalition is going to attack against you. To which Saddam Hussein responded, "I said I'm not going anywhere. I I can't fight back against the whole world. That's okay. If you attack me, I'm attacking Eretz Yisrael. I have Scud missiles that could reach any point in Eretz Yisrael. I have biological weapons that could reach any You know, remember of course this was the time that every Israeli citizen from you know from from the youngest newborn babies to the oldest was equipped with a gas mask and with their sealed rooms, but this was all entirely un un untried methods and science and then people were hoping for the best that this would work and nobody knew what was going to happen. And and it was it was a people were were imagining massacres on the on a scale that hadn't taken place in my lifetime. It was very frightening time for Klal Yisrael. And I remember that that that in Shaarei Torah Reb Zalman gave a shmuess then for the community. It was open for the community. Um the the whole Beis Medrash, you know, was filled with with with with with chairs. There was a big ezras nashim and he spoke. And he spoke about the pasuk in Parshas Shmos where it says about Moshe Rabbeinu that that vayetze el achav vayarev l'yisom. That he saw their suffering. Zafta Rashi nasan einav v'libo l'yas meitzareihem. He applied his eyes and his heart to feel to share their pain. And Reb Zalman said that the reason why Moshe Rabbeinu, this is our whole introduction to Moshe Rabbeinu. Next time we meet him is at the Sneh and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is appearing to him in a in a in in in in the Sneh telling him, "You are my chosen shliach. You're going to take the Yidden out of Mitzrayim." Where does the Torah tell us what's his background that that qualified him for this mission? This was his background. He was nasan einav v'libo l'yas meitzareihem. If a Yid is able to fully feel someone else's tzar, someone else's tzarchem, that's what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants in a manhig. And the Khazak organization has at their helm people that I I don't really know well enough to know even who's who. I know these are Yoni and Ilan, but as teenagers started to feel that that they looked around, they saw how, you know, so many of their fellow countrymen were coming to America and were falling away from Yiddishkeit. And we have to do something about it. A 15-year-old bachur decided, "I have to do something about it. I'm going to change the world. I'm going to stop this. I'm going to do something." What was he thinking? What kind of a crazy idea is that? But the first thing is that he couldn't tolerate the status quo. That's nasan einav v'libo. It affected him so much that he couldn't take He had something had to happen. And from that was born the moised of Khazak with their We've heard heard discussed already the the the childhood programs and the teenage programs, the after school, the week the Sundays, the magazines, the even I saw in the pamphlet now before we began the Beis Medrash and the kollel for the yechidim in the in the kehilla that are that that that that are poised to go to the next level. The radio program, the shiurim that reach all of all in Bukharian, Ashkenazi in Queens, in Monsey, all over the Khazak shiurim. Nobody puts together an event for shiurim like Khazak. Puts together an event shiurim. All of these programs and projects were born out of out of the the feeling of a couple of kids really. You know, as very young uh uh teenagers that were so affected by by the tzar of the fact that the other people didn't have what they have. Nasnu eineihem v'libam l'yas meitzareihem. And that's what makes a manhig. Reb Zalman taught us that that's the definition of a manhig b'Yisrael. And and Khazak has has the Rabbi Meirav Rabbi Meirav as two extraordinary examples of that of that uh quality as their manhigin. But what I saw today, just earlier today I went to I went to the office. I asked him to just show me a little bit. I'm going to come speak tonight. Acquaint familiarize me more with the organization. And there were a couple of things that I saw while I was there, which I I think may not even be the main nekudos that they meant to be showing me, that showed me that it's so much more than feeling and passion that that uh defines this organization. What struck me was the professionalism. With the meticulousness. This is a group of people that really get things done. I was um meeting with with Rabbi Ephraim and um he was he just meant to be showing me he he sat down at the computer and and and he he was showing me how, you know, "Look, we have we have all these files. We have files for all, you know, uh he he First, you know, on the screen there were a bunch of files and he clicked on one of the files and he said, "Look, you know, there's a bunch of children in here." And then he clicked on one of them and and he started scrolling through. I I said, "What's that?" So he said, "This is a recording of you know, all the phone conversations that we have each time that we make a a contact. So we we make a a small note in our record to keep track of of what happened in that conversation." He was scrolling fast through you know, through the screen. I I He wasn't showing me individual lines, but I happened to notice that someone near the top of the file of this random kid, I have no idea who it was, in I think September of 2016, a conversation with the parents in which they said that they're not I think not ready emotionally to take that step. That was the line that was put down in the file as the sort of the tamtzis of the conversation. And he scrolled through and the next time that the mouse paused, I read another line and it was I think in May of 2018 or maybe 2019, I'm not sure, where it said something about how how um we told them that we need the registration back with their date of birth by tomorrow. So apparently this was this was a child that at least as of May of whatever year that was, they were trying to fill out a registration, but in between in Now, so I'm not telling you over because it's a success story. I don't know what it says in July of 2018. I don't know, maybe then they ended up jumping out. I don't know if this child was, you know, from the hundreds that are yes in yeshiva or from the thousands that are not yet in yeshiva. But what I saw is that in between he I saw him scroll through dozens and dozens of phone conversations. For each one of these thousands of children, thousands of families that Khazak touches, the meticulousness with which they they uh document their work so that then they're they're able to recognize trends, see you know, study what works, what doesn't, where to focus their efforts in the future, how to hone in better. The the professionalism of the organization, the methodology of the organization is the kind of methodology that that that is going to get better and better and better inevitably and it's going to and you could see that that it's a recipe for success. And one other thing that I saw, I on a bulletin board somewhere in one of the offices, I saw there were some papers hung up. What's this? Progress reports. I I took out my phone. I took a picture of one. I was looking at it afterwards. David somebody and it was like a a review of his staff. Okay, father's name, mother's name, date of birth. And then a whole bunch of um you know, fill in uh some like a bunch of uh fields with blanks and the blanks are filled in. Fill in sometimes. Kashrus, sometimes. Shabbos, December 22nd, 2018, my first Shabbos. And a few other stats like that. And then at the bottom And then at the bottom there was a paragraph of notes. Where it said something to the effect of how that Shabbat he wanted to do it and he so he gave his phone into his rabbi. And he thought that if he doesn't have his phone over Shabbat it makes it much easier. Tefillin Sundays he always puts on because that's when there's the Jwave program. So he puts on other days of the week not so much. A whole description here. A very very raw data on a boy's strengths, a boy's weaknesses. And I was looking over this progress report and there are thousands of them on file. And I was reminded I'm I was reminded of a conversation I once had with May the Rabbi of Kamen up there. I'm going to end with this. We were talking once about about the janitor in Yeshiva. Maybe some of you remember that there was a He's no longer alive. There was a elder Yid, a Russian Yid, that worked in in Shaare Tefillah for many years. His name was Shaya. I don't remember what the conversation was about, why we were talking about him. But I just I I just very innocently remarked that I referred to him as being not from. Now, I think anybody here that's ever used the word from would agree that by any standard that that we're familiar with this guy was not from. He didn't keep Shabbos. He didn't keep mitzvahs. He didn't keep anything. He covered his head. He You know, he didn't He wasn't from. I I thought it I thought I was just making a very innocuous comment. I said, "He's not from." Um and he said So So Rabbi Kamen said to me, he said, "Shaya is not from?" He I he said, "Would you call me from?" I said, "Um yeah." So Rabbi Kamen said, "I think most people would call me from because I keep the mitzvahs I keep the parts of the Torah that I know about reasonably close to as well as I could. And I think by that standard Shaya is also from." And I as I was looking at this description of tefillin sometimes, kashrut sometimes, for this boy named David, I thought to myself, "You know something? David is also from." All the boys and girls who have progress reports on file in in in Chazak, these are from kids. What are they doing out of public school? These are our kids. These are people that are struggling. They don't have the same background that that that my children have, that hopefully that your children have. They don't have the same background, so they're not holding at the same point in their progress. But but they they they belong they belong in Yeshiva. They're trying. They're working towards it. Kashrut sometimes, tefillin when I feel when I feel motivated. This is not like many, you know, the the fifth generation American non-from that, you know, that would laugh at the idea of tefillin. These are people that take it seriously, but they feel that they're just not holding there yet. These are people that are really worth our effort to try to to bring them in. These These These are These are people that need to be in Yeshiva. And ashrei ashrechem to Chazak that they're there on the ground trying to do the work every day to bring them closer, to bring them closer. And like Rashi writes in this week's parsha by the carbon Pesach megadel al yedei zakai, that we all have the opportunity to to grab onto their coattails, to have a little bit of a of a cheilek in this avodas hakodesh of bringing these from kids closer to Torah and to mitzvahs.