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Rabbi Feiner, Rabbi Dr. Fox & Rabbi Yaniv Meirov - United in Pain: Coping with heartbreak in Meron.
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here we are all united
united in pain
what a tragedy claudia's of the jewish
people
have just went through and marone on log
bowmer
we've united tonight to get some
to get inspiration
there's a there's a very famous saying
it's very apropos
tonight's event into the tragedy
in this world there are no answers
nobody could tell you we don't have
naveem we have prophets
why this world we have no answers
but in the next world we have no
questions
the next world everything is clear
crystal clear
who god almighty has a plan
is righteous in all ways all we could do
is
follow rav shimon bar yokai's rebbe
rabbi akiva as we all know
lost twenty four thousand talmids and
twenty four thousand students
he didn't give up
he didn't pack his bags he didn't retire
but he continued with five
more talmidhim five more students
and that's what claudia israel needs to
do that's what the jewish people need to
do we need to continue
and stronger and better
i spoke to many rabbanim gaddailim
one god told me they all told me more or
less the same idea that
we have no answers but claudia's trial
needs to work on ourselves we have to
become better
and one particular area we all know in
per capita in the ethics of our fathers
as
growing in our learning we have to pray
more we have to dive and better have
more
concentration and of course give hasta
deen kindness
and the rav also the rabbi told us for
the ladies
they need to increase in snoot
in modesty let's take this to heart
let's do more let's beg let's let's ask
those who got almighty to bring the gula
dialects
enough for the our suffering we've been
through so much
so many that we know have been lost
covet and now this
at this time i'd like to start off the
program
by reading two kapitlaq tell them two
chapters of tealim
i actually have this right now over here
at the kazakh headquarters
to have in front of me a special tohilum
not just any safer not any book of
tealim not any uh
to helen but this is a taliman on cloth
it's a new project that has been getting
involved with
along with our dear friend aaron lopel
and the secretary fund many good olym
many big rabbis have endorsed this
project
and of course having anything on cloth
on parchment is is a very very high
level the stipler was very very big into
this
and refrain kanyevsky his son himself
was the one to write the first oath
the first letter in this tilland and
we're going to be reading
two chapters of tehilim to start the
program
and we're going to share a screen for
everyone to join together claudius for
everyone united together
and uh let's have in mind for the
refresh le mans for the complete
recovery of all those that are in need
unfortunately so many are in need let's
have them in mind
let's have claudia's your own mind that
everybody should have in
hama
the first capital the first chapter will
be
lamid no sorry the first will be
aleph 121.
i'm going to be reading from the cloth
everyone can join together
[Music]
a
[Music]
the second chapter the second of talent
the last one
we'll do is kuflamid
130.
sheer amalot
[Music]
a
[Music]
tonight we have with us two renowned
rabbanim
speakers inspiring individuals
that inspire thousands of people all
over khalid's trial
we have with us
rav of congregation can i charlotte
better known as the white shull in farah
also is the rabbi high lifelines camp
simcha
who will be followed by rabbi dr david
katz
david fox sorry i'll be dr david fox
director project high crisis
intervention trauma and bereavement
department
at high lifelines we want to thank
project high would like to thank the
white show and of course all of that
special shout out to robbie for all that
he does
in making these events and programming
all over the world without further ado
it's my honor
to call upon rabbi eitan financially
good evening to this incredible
chevrolet taking out of your busy
schedules
so that with seattle we can get together
i want to take a moment to thank the
truly incredible kazakh organization and
of course project kai and rabbi
to partner with these truly remarkable
organizations and
send them continued truly unbelievable
seattle ishmael with all their reporters
to be married
as well for uh contacting me and helping
put this all together
it's truly a host and a covet to work in
tandem with these
very very special and dear to my heart
organizations
it's been a tough time for clay israel
after a year plus of kovit to then have
this
truly devastating and horrific tragedy
it's indescribable a pain and grief
that's been engulfing each and every one
of us enveloping us
since we heard about it to this past
logbomb there
i have discussed as i'm so sure so many
of you have heard about
the first reaction of course the same
way the is
the commencement of mosher bano the
monega our rebbe
his greatness all commenced it all
started with
he went out to his brethren somewhere in
rashi sites the ghazal no son
of a liberal
our initial response ought to be and
always must be
solely sol and of course all the
families
who have suffered the loss of their dear
beloved
and cherished family members
we are crying with you we are davening
for you we are daphning and shedding
tears together with you
emo enoki but sora for liberty oh
we're watching your pain we're watching
the leviathans and our hearts
our life venefish go out to each and
every one of you we're saying tell them
we're going to continue to say to
him that painfully long list of holiness
until everyone has her for shalema we're
going to keep dabbing and we're going to
diamond phobias called zedek
and tries to mason to be reunited with
all our loved ones because
that has to be the initial response clay
your soul
we
is emanating for from the so we are one
to shama we are goofy
we are one body we are one soul these
families lost loved ones and we have
lost
cherish and treasured members of our guf
our neshomer were part and parcel of the
same composite hall
beneath israel inaudible we feel your
pain we commiserate we empathize
olivo we are crying and we're going to
to continue to cry
for you with you because you and
us we are all one family called canesis
israel
tonight with seattle ishmael
like to focus on one area
so many times we get lost in the numbers
and they're tremendous or muslim out
there about
45 is it 45 is it 46 what are the
numbers how many
at the end of the day with all the ramos
i'm out there and a lot of them might be
ramos and we can't lose sight of the
khashebas the uniqueness of every single
member of clay israel
i have to tell you a whovia
that i'm sure i'm speaking on behalf of
so many of you we have watched some of
these levias
and i watched the other day the
heartbreaking and heart-wrenching levio
of donnie morris from burgenfield in new
jersey
yeshiva and yeshiva chavin
and i watched that levia along with 70
000 plus other individuals besides the
thousand that were there present at the
moment
70 000 plus tune in to watch that leviah
and i'd like to share with you a friend
of mine the editor-in-chief of h.com
from your coopersmith he sent
out recently an email
and he writes in this email that it's
important to feel the pain
to resist the financial urge to turn
away shut it down and go back into your
cave untouched by such calamity
and we have to feel that pain rabbi said
and
says hold that pain
connect to the shouted reality these
families are experiencing and realize
that you and i are members of those
families too the family of the jewish
people
and then rabbi cooper smith continues as
follows
he writes the last night while watching
the heartbreaking funeral of donnie
morris live stream from yeshiva chauvin
my 17 year old son yehudah has down
syndrome
and i know ram khamiya's son i remember
now to saul when he was born he is now
17 years old he is a talk he is a
gem
yehuda cooper smith down syndrome
he sat beside his wonderful father
watching that heart breaking
a tear-jerking funeral of the tremendous
bonker donnie morris
and yehuda sat beside his father and
continues
he took one of my earphones to listen
speaker after speaker he didn't budge it
was getting late and i told him
it's time to get ready for bed
he looked at me straight in the eye and
he said it was such seriousness
this down syndrome holy holy hey look at
pristine and pure nashoma
he turned to his father and he said abba
this is about the life
i need to learn about what i'm doing
wrong and what changes i need to make
he didn't go to bed until the funeral
ended a good hour later
i was struck by yehuda's perceptive
reaction
here we were watching a gut-wrenching
funeral morning a remarkable life caught
shorty and yehuda understood this wasn't
just about death
and we were tapping into the real
meaning of life of what it's all about
and yehuda also understood what to do
with the mountain of grief and pay
when facing the dark abyss that can't be
simply explained away
i use it as an engine for change and for
growth
figure out where in your life you can
improve and commit to putting in the
hard work to change
and not because that is why this
terrible tragedy happened we are not
prophets today
among our boys said we don't know
exactly why it happened and we certainly
don't need to know and waste our
valuable precious time
scrutinizing was at the place in the
government how we don't have to get into
that
that is our innate curiosity that need
not be satisfied or not to be satisfied
it's not about the number game it's not
about what went wrong
and that is the onus the responsibility
of the ballet accrious
to take care to make sure these things i
don't happen in the future but
the message for us to glean is what is
hashem
saying to us collectively and of course
individually
we don't know why the terrible tragedy
occurred
but we have to take out of it if that
transforms the black hole of pain into
something constructive and purposeful
are giving us a way to move forward we
have to emerge from this calamity
from this indescribable pain and grief
the inundation
of waves
of enormous agony we have to go fight
that we have to move forward one step at
a time one day at a time
and you who just said to his father this
holy boy with down syndrome i need to
learn about what i'm doing wrong and
what changes i need to make
how right you are yehuda simple
unvarnished untainted unsolely truth
that's what we all need to do
as individuals we have to
ask ourselves are we the people that are
evonessum wants us to be
and do we understand the kashivas of
each and every holy member of the jewish
people
if i could share with you had dear
friends and unbelievable farts
an amazing idea that i heard from
robiosi calimer in the name of his
father rebutta calamar secretary
had severed the rabbit kellimer said yes
we have a gomorrah
and the circus in the dorm and afternoon
summer base
i'm about to ruby akiva waking up at the
age of 40.
i had to start to learn torah starting
to learn alibas at the age of 40 years
old
and the story elaborates in australia
and the mesephthas katanas albus rob
nelson and the sixth peric
and there we find that rebbe akiva went
to learn by amalamitinokus he went back
to haiti he went to kindergarten
uh to learn the alopece asked from huda
caliber
however akiba you're 40 years old
if you're 40 years old have your wife
teach you alipays
oh you're your own personal malama to
teach you how the days go
after your next neighbor and ask him to
commit to a mere five minutes a day and
have him teach you the elephants
what 40 year old man do you know who
would sit alongside
the young innocent children going back
to kindergarten
to learn in our base and that was the
question posed by rep kellemer
ah torcho kellemer zaczel responded you
know why rabbi akiva
i went back to haiti because he didn't
simply want to learn about an elephant a
base
he wanted to transmit the owl if he
wanted to dance with an owl if he wanted
to dance with the base
i because in kindergarten when they
learn about an outlet
as they lick the honey off the
fingertips they taste the sweetness
and they give schmuck how amazing and
elephants how beautiful and glorious a
base and a gimbal
our bay is the like october the greatest
gift hashem your smoke has given to the
call israel
out to the jewish people rabbi akiva
said i don't want to stop learning
intellectually
i want to live it i want to dance with
it i want to talk some of the olive oil
in a tanks with the base
that's really akiva explains of
calimerum
who is the one
29b he went up to the heavens above and
he saw that hashemius park was tying
it was kosher to the oso
of the atari he was adorning every
single individual letter with uh
unbelievable majestic crowns he says why
are you doing that hashem
and hashem informs moshe vayner because
i'll sit in the future
and there's going to be a holy jew
called i keep him in your safe
at the illustrious renowned aquifer
and he's going to be dourish he is going
to
extract and extrapolate and myriads
of halakhas from the
target those crowns that adorned the
torah
that's rabbi akiva explaining kelimer
only someone who had 40 years old
went back to kindergarten and together
to appreciate what an elephant
appreciate what it means is
at the dance with an alpha dance with
the bass he's the one at the darshan t
le telling
us unbelievable amounts of halachus
from the every single oath in the torah
all the time
and why because he understood the
khashevas the uniqueness the specialness
of every precious sacred hallowed ocean
the tyra kadosha
and who is the rebbe akifa who is the
one
had to tell us in the sephirah the
torah's cornering
exactly the torah who's the one male
river of my side
who's the one to stand up on the world
stage and tell everybody for all of
history
and that's loving your neighbor your
friend as yourself is the clock of the
torah
it's the same radio kevin the third
parakeet purchase
had to relate and share with us all the
club of adam shaniver betseller
how precious every human being every jew
is
that
i guess he understood that what is
israel
israel writes the arizona and so many
others
and the name jesus russia tavis an
acronym
for yesh shishma osios the torah
and then every jew is special every jew
is unique every jew occupies his own
space
his own darling almost every jew is an
house whether you're an olsen
or an olsen kriya shema or no sin as
your shirt doesn't make an afghan mean
an iota of a difference
a safer tyrant that's closer that's
deficient that's missing but
juan miros has a safer tower that's
possible a safer torah is complete when
you have all your soul together as one
and you have ye it's the same rabbi
akiva my dear friends
khodarshan's all the specific osceols in
the torah
he's the one to give us the wonderful
marriage
osceol's terrible akifa had to break
apart and to scrutinize
every individual oath in the torah he is
the one who's committed him if um
punished so severely i'll shalom no guru
covers ella said why
because that was what he spoke that is
what he preached that was
how would he personify day in and day
out
of every letter in the torah and every
jew every year in the tyrell
who corresponds to an oath accordingly
akai is always a family we're a family
our family made up with individuals and
it's not just about 45
it's about one it's about watching on
the valley of the marshall
of adani morrison commiserating with the
family and crying who couldn't watch it
and not cry
how could he not shed the tears watching
the family and what they lost and it
precious you see what adani morris was
and you see what's every individual all
these holiness shamans that we lost
different ages
whether it's ashkenazi whether it's
fatty whether it's garcinia fish
and the end of the day is
and we need everybody and everyone has
to have their space
everyone is hush if everybody's unique
that's right and it's his talmud
i was the the premier kabbalistic work
he is the one who mastered torah
sannister
the beauty that's beneath all the layers
all the veneers
are the secret shining lights that's
behind every oath in the torah
that's kabbalah that's tourism and
that's the talmud arabic
as a consequence the importance of every
oath in the torah
and who's the one to pull back the
layers and on earth and discover the
beauty the radiant
light that's inside every oath that's
inside every jew that's
that's the light that's the fire that's
the beauty of a lag bomber
that's galena viabita and that's torus
that's revealing the paneemia inside
that's what kabbalah does it tells us
the paneemia is
our boy saying has to start by seeing
and appreciating
of the beauty inherent in every single
jew
and every year corresponds to an oath in
the torah and every oath
is beautiful and everybody else is
precious embryos is overworldly
every jew my dear friends is all the
world delayed every jew is special every
jew is unique and every jew we have to
cry for we have to shed tears for
because we are incomplete without every
single jew this is our tsar it's our
united
collective haste sorrow we have to cry
we have to shed tears
because we're now missing pieces of
ourselves it's not about 45 it's about
one and another and another and another
hillary martial didn't kill six million
jews
he killed one jew six million times over
look at what we lost you see a picture
of the marshall of adani morris with a
hundred thousand jews behind him and him
smiling you see that purity
pristine of the beautiful the shaman you
see it in the shining radiant faces of
all the naftara
see the beauty and all these special
halogen ashamas
that's the age of the one and what about
the beauty the pineam easter computer
the sparkling radiance that's inherent
intrinsic in every single jew
and every single year by what i see my
embryos has its place in the torah
and it knows now let it touch another
host it's got to have its own unique
space
out of my side we got to give all the
yid in this space of the dalai lamas
and we can't shrimp us i want to know
that we can't step on one another
and you've got to give everybody this
space one of the miracles in the
basement
apparently
there are times you might be squashed
and the psalms say for even writes it
towards motion
that itself was an ace really we didn't
even have to have that but i wanted to
give us the scar
of ignorant color or broken stuff of a
feeling
of what it means to be a part of clay so
feeling squashed or clay sober one
when it came time to bowing down the
stocking revolver we had all this space
in the world
and because hashem says every unit has
to have his dollar helmets
every jew has to have his space on my
side give all the in their space
and give them the hashimoto's evidence
and oh senatorial and an host cannot
touch another host in the torah
it's gotta have its own unique space
surrounded by
avikaville the parchment around that
every host needs its space
and we don't tremble and although we
can't travel on people we can't step on
people
and not just literally physically
figuratively metaphorically speaking
give clients all this space
i'll give them their love model
yourselves after ishmael
everyone says kosher of rabbi keep his
rebbe every house is scholarship every
host has a crown
has the target on top of every jew
has a hidden crown every jewish one a
part and parcel
as a princess i cherish every jew and
give every jew this space
perky elvis this week how the week of
the tragedy was peric dowling benzoma
begins donald
we have to learn we have to learn from
everybody we have to learn from these
and if term you listen to the violence
and you see highlighted the hashee
that's the beauty i can you imagine you
see you listen to these levias
it doesn't matter whether they're
knowing whether they're 12 whether
they're 17 18
or 52 years old whether they have a
beard or no beard or whether it's a
pastor or god whether it's a head away
and those who make a difference you know
what they are the union and they all
have regardless of the physical head
covering
and they all have a majestic crown they
have a metaphysical
crown they're part of malachi
an angler for every single one and then
if torment for each and every one of you
the whole world this could die for one
house in the torah
one glorious majestic oh senator that's
you and that's you that's everybody
it's not just about 45 it's about each
one it's about losing one it's about
losing one beautiful precious source
our safer torah is incomplete are safer
terrorist efficient glycerol
is not complete because we now are
missing 45
precious holy parts of our nashua how
can we not feel the pain along with them
how can we not cry with them reply
we cry out with them when we feel their
pain
but we have to walk away like the
beautiful precious down syndrome yehuda
cooper smith at 17 years old who says i
got to walk away i got to emerge
bigger better stronger as a greater
evidence
our boy said there's so many lessons to
learn about israel
lifestyle would say repeatedly after
every tragedy rahman al-islam
and we can't get up without the navy and
will open aid of him and say this is why
it happened that's why it happened
and we certainly don't waste our
valuable precious time
we don't have to see every article on
yeshiva world news in our matzah
and of course it's nice for holi you
know the facts already are play side
and you gotta close the computer screen
close the websites and the blogs
and it's time we have to work on
ourselves and individuals to say
am i mash of every year and my master's
about precious how beautiful
a majestic the princes and princesses of
klein israel
that make up the oceans of the torah of
the israel aviation rebel
are we giving everybody this space the
dalai lamas
we need the obviously on the avocado has
to start and be mavusa samir said
predicated on what
an understanding i give a young another
yet his or her space
remember hearing years ago our lord
jacobowitz from england
said a beautiful insight and we know
that at the end of our shrey
how we take three steps back and then we
say oh so show them in
you know why you have to take three
steps backs explain the lord emmanuel
jacob
quran and because in order to talk about
also shalom in rainbow and to ask
hashemian
you know what it's got to start with you
got to take three steps back and let him
know that he didn't have his space
and we don't need to occupy the space of
another yet get every into space
and it's not just the physical they'll
notice the physical practical
pragmatic space it's the kashivis the
metaphorical figurative space
of every it has his or her own knowledge
i'm a space
and tafkan in this world every jew has
his or her shame
as the room says
your place in this world you have a name
you have a top kid
a boy sign let's never step on other
people
figuratively speaking let's love every
oath every year
let's give every single jew into her
space and let's make sure we have an
ambassador
and let's make sure we don't just love
one another or master one another we
know we've covered zelda's it
and we make sure to grow and emerge
bigger and better as of the hashem
and to know that the abrasion never
stops looming us it's a step ever closer
atabiya is called siddiq let's be
misaquino
let's get together and recognize we
always have been and we always will be
one composite hall one cohesiveness
one give echo
together with each and every one of you
and your beautiful precious
oceans in the torah that the amister
loves you more than you could ever ever
imagine
now let's follow the ways of the
abrasion let's love every year more than
they can ever imagine
let's be masha put every year on a
pedestal we know it covers elizabeth
let's give every year his or her space
that's become bigger greater of the
hashem
and let's bring about the once and for
all the abuse and that we'll see with
the piers called zedek
on the main i mean wow what inspiring
message rabbi fine
thank you very very much amazing
i'm unbelievable you should continue
all that you do every financially at
this time we have with us
rabbi dr david fox who is the director
of uh project high crisis intervention
trauma and bereavement department
uh with high lifeline rabbi dr david fox
lita please
good evening from los angeles and
it's an honor although a sad honor
to be part of this important program
sponsored by
hazak and mayu and all that
you work at for the sake of the jewish
people everywhere
continue with great strength and great
splendor
it's also an honor and a treat
to listen to rav finer and a humbling
feeling to be on the same program as him
and each time that rabbi fighter speaks
to gly israel
we feel the energy we feel the fervor
and the
sweet sincerity coming from his heart
through his
poetic words the title of
our program this evening is
on coping with all that's gone
on in eric israel
and in our work crisis intervention
and addressing trauma among people
coping takes on an unfortunate
meaning because coping means how do you
get past something
and to be very candid it's far
too soon to get past
our reactions so fresh that they've
seared themselves into our hearts
it's far too soon to take perspective
or to offer interpretation of what's
happened
and the coping that we want to look at
tonight
is much more basic than getting past
this
but it's the coping of
understanding that we do react it's
normal to react
in many many different dimensions when
as a refiner has pointed out all of us
have been stricken when all of us have
been hit
then it's normal and it's healthy to
react
it's not at all normal to have no
reaction at all
i often cite a passage
from asyashir
in the song of rejoicing at
our surviving
massive trauma at kriyasyamsuf and the
trauma was knowing that other people had
died
and we had survived but one of the
verses
that we proclaim that there fell over
people
amen
now what is that referring to
what did we mean in this elegy
when we call out to god and we remark
that we're aware that there's emma and
there's pachad be
falling people aima
after all is not the same as
they're not entirely synonymous because
pachad
means terror that means petrified it
means shaking
that's what it means to be mafarid and
aima is something much more intellectual
it's apprehensiveness it's worried
concern and
what exactly is the scope of a masala
rashi quotes one version of a madrish
which is illuminating
and also is one that
resonates for those of us in mental
health
because of the accuracy of this mattress
and
she tells us that the difference between
the ema and the pacha reactions was
that the pachad is what hits the krovin
the terror is what befalls those who are
right there
and who experience the tragedy
those who see it and live through it so
and in contrast the ema
the apprehensive worried focus
the medrash says this is what hits the
rohokim
the people who feel distanced from
that tragedy the people who weren't
there who didn't see
it firsthand who heard about it through
the news through the media
by way of mouth and there's a contrast
between filming pachad
and feeling emo that
generally speaking when we're involved
directly
in tragic events we're traumatized
that's the effect it has on us because
whether we see it do we hear the screens
or we witness the bloodshed
if we're right there it stuns us
it shakes us and we're affected in
thought we're affected in emotion we're
affected physically
reflected in our behavior
we're changed because of trauma and yet
when we are rohokin when we feel
estranged or geographically distanced
we're not
there but we read about it or we hear
about it and we learn about it
so there's also an impact that it's
supposed to have and that's called ema
now you may have noticed that in the
basic there's an unusual
conjugation that the bossic says
doesn't say ima so for that there's a
midrashic thought also
that this expression this word
this unusual framing of the word for
ima so there's one matrix that says that
this means
hashem that
sometimes what hits you from a distance
may not be the terror
and the pachad but what hits you
is the theology what hits you is the
existential
why did it happen what does it mean will
it happen again
why would a kodeshwar do this is he
going to
have other targets for monolith
and these are very different reactions
and those who are
up close present and cease this
we expect them normally to have very
very stark
very intense and body and mind and heart
and soul encompassing reactions
and those of us who feel distant we're
not there we're not part of it and
we didn't know anyone who was harmed and
we don't know any of any casualties
there's still an effect that this has on
hidden on human beings and
our thoughts do turn to hakodeshwara
and we may not get very far in pondering
the why questions why did it happen to
them and our this state
and in that place and that's often a
futile effort
a misuse of our psychological and
spiritual energy
to hunt right away for meaning or to
personalize
or to interpret but there's room for
and there's room for ima and as harvard
finer has pointed out
in this situation none of us are ahoking
we may be geographically distanced but
we're not rochokin we're not
estranged we're not separate they
are us each one of them
is me we are an
uma we are a nation we are all part of a
karishwahu's
family bani matem and by
all rights we can't cope
yet by getting past this
what we want to be doing instead
looking for how it's hitting us
there and each of us
we're not cold-hearted people we're not
narcissistic uncaring uncompassionate
jewish people if each of us stops what
we're doing
and we slow down and we distance
ourselves a little bit from all of the
demands of our routine
and we focus on the room
and then we take that focus inward
you'll have your reactions
you'll have your thought reactions
the worry the flashing back
the horrible imagery for those of you
who were distracted by the photographs
but this will occupy your thoughts
and if you internalize a national
tragedy
as a personal tragedy it'll show up in
your emotions
we feel sad
sadness is a feeling that's appropriate
and it's natural and it's healthy
when there's sadness around us
and some of us will feel scared
that this could happen where and when it
did
and what does this mean for all of us
on a day that was the cessation
of the mises tummy did what does this
mean for us
we'll have our emotions and some of us
will have our physiological reactions
whether it's nausea or
not being able to sleep or not being
able to get up
being in discomfort having no appetite
not wanting to
laugh not wanting to listen to music
that shows up in the body and
some of us will notice behavioral change
we're more subdued we're more withdrawn
or sometimes in the opposite direction
we just want to talk and talk about this
and we want to dwell on the details and
we keep focusing becoming a little hyper
and very very intensely focused on all
of the information that is
shuttled through to us through the press
and some of us have the amount
some of us react spiritually and it may
be
an increased fervent of oda
that we need to dauben or say to hillary
harder we want to
make our sadorium and learning torah
much more meaningful
and sometimes people react after tragedy
the opposite direction
and it's hard to get motivated it's hard
to
build up that momentum spiritually
because we're struck
we're down there's a sapping of the
energy
including the spiritual energy for some
of us
so the coping we're needing to do
as healthy human beings as fellow jews
sisters and brothers
of those lost and they alone
is to look out for them to look back in
give yourself the ability to feel
acknowledge for yourself that you feel
and identify
what you're thinking and own up to the
emotions that are present
it's normal to react it's not normal not
to have a reaction
and if the reaction that you come up
with is not the pachad
but it's the emma which means that
you're struggling theologically with
this
so mattobeumannoyam also that's also
growth that's also healthy
but do something with it those of you
who feel the pahad
do something with it acknowledge it to
yourself
find a confidant someone who cares about
you and who you care for and you trust
and talk through what you're going
through this is how we process
and that's different than coping to move
on this is just
the coping of self-awareness
that helps you rejoin the human race and
to recognize that i'm a feeling caring
compassionate person
talk it through and then talk to your
kids or talk to others
and encourage them to look at how
they're reacting and to help them
find that place inside of them that
is the emo anupheba sora
or maybe says
maybe it's the call sarasom
which is a very different psychological
state
and the same thing goes for those who
are in the tibal allah dimension
if you're struggling spiritually
or you're not knowing what to do with
your
spiritual reactions your rookiness
torment in
whichever direction you're taking it
identify what you're feeling identify
what you're thinking
look into yourself do some religious
growth
find a trusted spiritual
tormentor it could be your rapidson it
could be your world
it could be your javruza it could be a
parent
it may be your rebbe but find someone to
talk
through what does that want for me how
do i take
this turmoil going on inside of my soul
at a time like this when i'm beset by so
much confusion and so many questions
and utilize it this is what a nissaian
is
because an assoy means that we look at
our
external circumstance we look at our
subjective response
and when it troubles us or it confuses
us
however it hits us the messiah is to
find a way to rise
with it from the word mace
not the miraculous base but the banner
in the mid bar
that we saw from the distance so we
could retrace our steps and get closer
to it
and this is the objective of nicionos
to grow with them let them take you
higher ascend with them
so whether it's the emotions that you're
having the coping that we do right now
is acknowledge them and experience them
and find a way to harness their energy
in a way that's ascendant and propels us
further and the same thing holds true
for the spiritual reactions we grow
from them we grow with them but we can
only do that by acknowledging them
and by discussing them with someone who
cares and listens
empathically and supportively and not
critiquing us and not judging us and not
saying what you shouldn't feel what you
feel or why you're thinking that way you
shouldn't think that way
but let's take stock of who we are and
what we're going through at a time like
this
it's far too soon to figure out the
lesson
as refiners said we're not naveen we're
not prophetic
and we don't know yet why this happened
we may
never know why this happened not our job
it's not
upon us
we take the expression gamsulatova and
for
a situation like this in my opinion it's
far too
premature to be brushing it off and
saying it's for something good but
the essence in my opinion
of the ghazal expression
latav of it or gamsu
letova the essence of that expression
is that letter lamid which means
we don't say after tragedy
gamsuta we don't say this is good
we don't say that what's happening to us
and what's happened to
them and what's happened in this matzah
that's affecting so much of choice well
they don't say it's good but we
do work with that ammuna
postulate that it's lethova
that we'll get to a better spot with
time
we'll head in a direction that will
prove
that something good eventually will come
our way
but let's recognize as i've said that
the coping
that's incumbent upon us right now is
not to get past this
the coping is to feel it
to think it to experience it to live it
to re-identify yourself with the rest of
clyde israel
we don't know why
we look at as refiners said from the
demonia vamos
the
difficulty attributed to the thousands
of tamid
akiba that they didn't
show respect one to another
and one thing that we can take from this
is
that the hafsaka
the break in the losses
this year did not end among
and something that we can take is that
means that the mission
of know-how to be killed zen loser
has to continue for us
and it's not just a matter of honoring
and respecting which are part of
any way in your day the halacha is about
needing to do that and how to do it
and with him to do it but there's also a
respectfulness
that comes from upgrading our perception
of one another
something that in another talk i call
the benevolent gaze the iron top
that we want to look at other hidden
and not look at them critically not look
for the flaw or
the deficiency when we meet another jew
when we're hiking on the trail we're in
the mall wherever it is
so look at them with affection look at
them with respect
look at them with honor look at them as
they are
me we are one
[Music]
look for the positive avoid the cynicism
and the sarcasm and the pessimism
let's upgrade our respecting gaze of one
another
that we look and we look for the
positive
and we nurture that and we praise that
and we express gratitude and we have
good things to say about the hidden that
we meet
day by day whether they're our friends
or whether we don't know them
but let's let's work on that modality
of showing covered one to the other
in this past week's portion the torah
tells us that
he says
that when you're going to offer your
gratitude off of them
there it's baku
it seems like unusual or atypical
wording
[Music]
that you sacrifice that we would tone
him according to your will
now there are about that
what we infer from it but there's a very
precious spin
interpretative drausha on this basic
from one of the earlier rebbes from the
dynasty known as sabran the sabrana
he offered a tight she offered a an
angle
of understanding this that
lyrics that when you're going to do your
mother to god and you're trying to
express your gratitude
to him or your appreciation
of your fellow jews do it
take your own self in tizbahu get rid of
it
leave yourself out of it merge with that
other person
merge with claudius for ill leave the
egocentricity aside
be there with them because they are you
lyrics and and this is the holy abode
facing us at a time
when there are other people hurting
and we're trying to resonate with some
aspect of what they've gone through
lyrics bahu set the self aside
merge with the other
cultivate your empathy
make your attachment be there with them
because they
are you and you're a part of them
we turn to you
we offer azerbach toda where's
our own
we try and we try we want to serve you
we love you
we want to fill your love and we're
going to work
on feeling your love
by nourishing our ahabis israel
our love for one another at this time it
has taken a horrible loss
a horrible tragedy for us to just stop
in our tracks and recognize
that some of us are missing
and we're going to do what we can
somehow to try addressing that void
that absence by becoming
croven instead of rehoking
by becoming attached rather than
distanced
by feeling solidarity rather than
isolation
and in this host of all we're trying to
do
to be the type of children
[Music]
that you seek can you
can you show us the media
[Music]
and can we be zakha to better times and
to dance this time at the camera
of shimon bayochi
rabbi dr david fox
thank you once again to robbie finer
thank you everyone for joining us
for this night of inspiration night of
hezuk
want to thank project kai the project of
high lifeline in the white shoe
for joining us in this special program i
want to thank tor anytime
for hosting the event on their platform
really appreciate it
and i want to reiterate many people are
asking what can we do we want to do we
heard some advice but
uh let's do more torah like was
mentioned in the beginning
the guidelines that we have to increase
in torah we want to organize more sheer
and
more physical whether it's online
whether it's in person kazakh is ready
willing and able
anyone online watching is interested in
getting involved with the revolution
please do reach out to this organization
one three 718-285-9132 i'll stay a
little bit slower
seven one eight two eight five nine one
three two and of course our main mission
is to save as many in shamath kids in
public schools unfortunately there's ten
thousand if you're in queens
in barcelona we've chanted already
but we could do much more if anybody
knows any children that are in the
public school systems
let's translate them to ishivat first
hosts
for those that are nifter for the seven
aliyah and the shema for his quotes for
those that needed
washed him out of complete recovery and
uh
my rebbe of aaron walken
used to always have a quote and he says
it follows big people are made with
small actions let's take it upon
ourselves
to do more small actions which will
eventually be big and we all know
the famous martial i believe it's from
the khabit khan that there was a
community unfortunately they were
divided with a wall in between
and the leaders of the community said
let's unite one day and take down this
wall
and what happens is that they all run
and try to knock down the wall
and it's not falling down and they're
all banging and hitting and punching and
doing whatever they can
to bring down the wall and they're not
there they're not successful all of a
sudden
a young individual goes over there gives
a little bit of a push and the whole
wall falls down everyone's like wow
how were you able to do that and he
simply answered that you guys did all
the work
but you stopped i just had to give an
extra push and everybody asked when's
the ghouler going to come there's so
many tadikim so many good darling
so many big rabbis that were in the
previous generations and they didn't
bring the gula
and the answer to that is they already
did a lot of the work we just have to
give a little bit more of a push
who knows what small actions that we
could do as that hashem
will make the difference and talking
about small actions i've seen it with my
own eyes
a little bit over a year or two ago a
friend of mine dr
jonathan donov decided he has an idea to
help claudi's troll
what was the idea the idea was you know
tzedakah is very very important
some of it saves from death why don't we
have a campaign
where we give a dollar a day and he
started a whole organization called
dailygiving.org i encourage everyone to
visit it right now
for us huss for the fashion for elune
for that of everyone amit hashem and
join this amazing amazing revolution
where over 5 000 people have already
joined where they give a dollar a day
and every single day there's a different
organization that benefits
from that seductive i believe there's 50
different organizations high lifeline
being one of them khazak many other
great tzedakah's organizations are
benefiting from this concept
and uh and and and barak hashem it's
been growing and growing and growing
and it's making a very big difference
and we encourage everyone to be part of
it
your small change could literally change
the world
so dailygiving.org check it out whenever
you have a chance
and hashem we hope and we pray the next
time rabbi finally rabbi fox we get
together it should be
together in your salami dish with the
mouth with the redemption it should be
spilling their days
amen yes thank everyone