Rabbi Feiner, Rabbi Dr. Fox & Rabbi Yaniv Meirov - United in Pain: Coping with heartbreak in Meron.

here we are all united united in pain what a tragedy claudia's of the jewish people have just went through and marone on log bowmer we've united tonight to get some to get inspiration there's a there's a very famous saying it's very apropos tonight's event into the tragedy in this world there are no answers nobody could tell you we don't have naveem we have prophets why this world we have no answers but in the next world we have no questions the next world everything is clear crystal clear who god almighty has a plan is righteous in all ways all we could do is follow rav shimon bar yokai's rebbe rabbi akiva as we all know lost twenty four thousand talmids and twenty four thousand students he didn't give up he didn't pack his bags he didn't retire but he continued with five more talmidhim five more students and that's what claudia israel needs to do that's what the jewish people need to do we need to continue and stronger and better i spoke to many rabbanim gaddailim one god told me they all told me more or less the same idea that we have no answers but claudia's trial needs to work on ourselves we have to become better and one particular area we all know in per capita in the ethics of our fathers as growing in our learning we have to pray more we have to dive and better have more concentration and of course give hasta deen kindness and the rav also the rabbi told us for the ladies they need to increase in snoot in modesty let's take this to heart let's do more let's beg let's let's ask those who got almighty to bring the gula dialects enough for the our suffering we've been through so much so many that we know have been lost covet and now this at this time i'd like to start off the program by reading two kapitlaq tell them two chapters of tealim i actually have this right now over here at the kazakh headquarters to have in front of me a special tohilum not just any safer not any book of tealim not any uh to helen but this is a taliman on cloth it's a new project that has been getting involved with along with our dear friend aaron lopel and the secretary fund many good olym many big rabbis have endorsed this project and of course having anything on cloth on parchment is is a very very high level the stipler was very very big into this and refrain kanyevsky his son himself was the one to write the first oath the first letter in this tilland and we're going to be reading two chapters of tehilim to start the program and we're going to share a screen for everyone to join together claudius for everyone united together and uh let's have in mind for the refresh le mans for the complete recovery of all those that are in need unfortunately so many are in need let's have them in mind let's have claudia's your own mind that everybody should have in hama the first capital the first chapter will be lamid no sorry the first will be aleph 121. i'm going to be reading from the cloth everyone can join together [Music] a [Music] the second chapter the second of talent the last one we'll do is kuflamid 130. sheer amalot [Music] a [Music] tonight we have with us two renowned rabbanim speakers inspiring individuals that inspire thousands of people all over khalid's trial we have with us rav of congregation can i charlotte better known as the white shull in farah also is the rabbi high lifelines camp simcha who will be followed by rabbi dr david katz david fox sorry i'll be dr david fox director project high crisis intervention trauma and bereavement department at high lifelines we want to thank project high would like to thank the white show and of course all of that special shout out to robbie for all that he does in making these events and programming all over the world without further ado it's my honor to call upon rabbi eitan financially good evening to this incredible chevrolet taking out of your busy schedules so that with seattle we can get together i want to take a moment to thank the truly incredible kazakh organization and of course project kai and rabbi to partner with these truly remarkable organizations and send them continued truly unbelievable seattle ishmael with all their reporters to be married as well for uh contacting me and helping put this all together it's truly a host and a covet to work in tandem with these very very special and dear to my heart organizations it's been a tough time for clay israel after a year plus of kovit to then have this truly devastating and horrific tragedy it's indescribable a pain and grief that's been engulfing each and every one of us enveloping us since we heard about it to this past logbomb there i have discussed as i'm so sure so many of you have heard about the first reaction of course the same way the is the commencement of mosher bano the monega our rebbe his greatness all commenced it all started with he went out to his brethren somewhere in rashi sites the ghazal no son of a liberal our initial response ought to be and always must be solely sol and of course all the families who have suffered the loss of their dear beloved and cherished family members we are crying with you we are davening for you we are daphning and shedding tears together with you emo enoki but sora for liberty oh we're watching your pain we're watching the leviathans and our hearts our life venefish go out to each and every one of you we're saying tell them we're going to continue to say to him that painfully long list of holiness until everyone has her for shalema we're going to keep dabbing and we're going to diamond phobias called zedek and tries to mason to be reunited with all our loved ones because that has to be the initial response clay your soul we is emanating for from the so we are one to shama we are goofy we are one body we are one soul these families lost loved ones and we have lost cherish and treasured members of our guf our neshomer were part and parcel of the same composite hall beneath israel inaudible we feel your pain we commiserate we empathize olivo we are crying and we're going to to continue to cry for you with you because you and us we are all one family called canesis israel tonight with seattle ishmael like to focus on one area so many times we get lost in the numbers and they're tremendous or muslim out there about 45 is it 45 is it 46 what are the numbers how many at the end of the day with all the ramos i'm out there and a lot of them might be ramos and we can't lose sight of the khashebas the uniqueness of every single member of clay israel i have to tell you a whovia that i'm sure i'm speaking on behalf of so many of you we have watched some of these levias and i watched the other day the heartbreaking and heart-wrenching levio of donnie morris from burgenfield in new jersey yeshiva and yeshiva chavin and i watched that levia along with 70 000 plus other individuals besides the thousand that were there present at the moment 70 000 plus tune in to watch that leviah and i'd like to share with you a friend of mine the editor-in-chief of h.com from your coopersmith he sent out recently an email and he writes in this email that it's important to feel the pain to resist the financial urge to turn away shut it down and go back into your cave untouched by such calamity and we have to feel that pain rabbi said and says hold that pain connect to the shouted reality these families are experiencing and realize that you and i are members of those families too the family of the jewish people and then rabbi cooper smith continues as follows he writes the last night while watching the heartbreaking funeral of donnie morris live stream from yeshiva chauvin my 17 year old son yehudah has down syndrome and i know ram khamiya's son i remember now to saul when he was born he is now 17 years old he is a talk he is a gem yehuda cooper smith down syndrome he sat beside his wonderful father watching that heart breaking a tear-jerking funeral of the tremendous bonker donnie morris and yehuda sat beside his father and continues he took one of my earphones to listen speaker after speaker he didn't budge it was getting late and i told him it's time to get ready for bed he looked at me straight in the eye and he said it was such seriousness this down syndrome holy holy hey look at pristine and pure nashoma he turned to his father and he said abba this is about the life i need to learn about what i'm doing wrong and what changes i need to make he didn't go to bed until the funeral ended a good hour later i was struck by yehuda's perceptive reaction here we were watching a gut-wrenching funeral morning a remarkable life caught shorty and yehuda understood this wasn't just about death and we were tapping into the real meaning of life of what it's all about and yehuda also understood what to do with the mountain of grief and pay when facing the dark abyss that can't be simply explained away i use it as an engine for change and for growth figure out where in your life you can improve and commit to putting in the hard work to change and not because that is why this terrible tragedy happened we are not prophets today among our boys said we don't know exactly why it happened and we certainly don't need to know and waste our valuable precious time scrutinizing was at the place in the government how we don't have to get into that that is our innate curiosity that need not be satisfied or not to be satisfied it's not about the number game it's not about what went wrong and that is the onus the responsibility of the ballet accrious to take care to make sure these things i don't happen in the future but the message for us to glean is what is hashem saying to us collectively and of course individually we don't know why the terrible tragedy occurred but we have to take out of it if that transforms the black hole of pain into something constructive and purposeful are giving us a way to move forward we have to emerge from this calamity from this indescribable pain and grief the inundation of waves of enormous agony we have to go fight that we have to move forward one step at a time one day at a time and you who just said to his father this holy boy with down syndrome i need to learn about what i'm doing wrong and what changes i need to make how right you are yehuda simple unvarnished untainted unsolely truth that's what we all need to do as individuals we have to ask ourselves are we the people that are evonessum wants us to be and do we understand the kashivas of each and every holy member of the jewish people if i could share with you had dear friends and unbelievable farts an amazing idea that i heard from robiosi calimer in the name of his father rebutta calamar secretary had severed the rabbit kellimer said yes we have a gomorrah and the circus in the dorm and afternoon summer base i'm about to ruby akiva waking up at the age of 40. i had to start to learn torah starting to learn alibas at the age of 40 years old and the story elaborates in australia and the mesephthas katanas albus rob nelson and the sixth peric and there we find that rebbe akiva went to learn by amalamitinokus he went back to haiti he went to kindergarten uh to learn the alopece asked from huda caliber however akiba you're 40 years old if you're 40 years old have your wife teach you alipays oh you're your own personal malama to teach you how the days go after your next neighbor and ask him to commit to a mere five minutes a day and have him teach you the elephants what 40 year old man do you know who would sit alongside the young innocent children going back to kindergarten to learn in our base and that was the question posed by rep kellemer ah torcho kellemer zaczel responded you know why rabbi akiva i went back to haiti because he didn't simply want to learn about an elephant a base he wanted to transmit the owl if he wanted to dance with an owl if he wanted to dance with the base i because in kindergarten when they learn about an outlet as they lick the honey off the fingertips they taste the sweetness and they give schmuck how amazing and elephants how beautiful and glorious a base and a gimbal our bay is the like october the greatest gift hashem your smoke has given to the call israel out to the jewish people rabbi akiva said i don't want to stop learning intellectually i want to live it i want to dance with it i want to talk some of the olive oil in a tanks with the base that's really akiva explains of calimerum who is the one 29b he went up to the heavens above and he saw that hashemius park was tying it was kosher to the oso of the atari he was adorning every single individual letter with uh unbelievable majestic crowns he says why are you doing that hashem and hashem informs moshe vayner because i'll sit in the future and there's going to be a holy jew called i keep him in your safe at the illustrious renowned aquifer and he's going to be dourish he is going to extract and extrapolate and myriads of halakhas from the target those crowns that adorned the torah that's rabbi akiva explaining kelimer only someone who had 40 years old went back to kindergarten and together to appreciate what an elephant appreciate what it means is at the dance with an alpha dance with the bass he's the one at the darshan t le telling us unbelievable amounts of halachus from the every single oath in the torah all the time and why because he understood the khashevas the uniqueness the specialness of every precious sacred hallowed ocean the tyra kadosha and who is the rebbe akifa who is the one had to tell us in the sephirah the torah's cornering exactly the torah who's the one male river of my side who's the one to stand up on the world stage and tell everybody for all of history and that's loving your neighbor your friend as yourself is the clock of the torah it's the same radio kevin the third parakeet purchase had to relate and share with us all the club of adam shaniver betseller how precious every human being every jew is that i guess he understood that what is israel israel writes the arizona and so many others and the name jesus russia tavis an acronym for yesh shishma osios the torah and then every jew is special every jew is unique every jew occupies his own space his own darling almost every jew is an house whether you're an olsen or an olsen kriya shema or no sin as your shirt doesn't make an afghan mean an iota of a difference a safer tyrant that's closer that's deficient that's missing but juan miros has a safer tower that's possible a safer torah is complete when you have all your soul together as one and you have ye it's the same rabbi akiva my dear friends khodarshan's all the specific osceols in the torah he's the one to give us the wonderful marriage osceol's terrible akifa had to break apart and to scrutinize every individual oath in the torah he is the one who's committed him if um punished so severely i'll shalom no guru covers ella said why because that was what he spoke that is what he preached that was how would he personify day in and day out of every letter in the torah and every jew every year in the tyrell who corresponds to an oath accordingly akai is always a family we're a family our family made up with individuals and it's not just about 45 it's about one it's about watching on the valley of the marshall of adani morrison commiserating with the family and crying who couldn't watch it and not cry how could he not shed the tears watching the family and what they lost and it precious you see what adani morris was and you see what's every individual all these holiness shamans that we lost different ages whether it's ashkenazi whether it's fatty whether it's garcinia fish and the end of the day is and we need everybody and everyone has to have their space everyone is hush if everybody's unique that's right and it's his talmud i was the the premier kabbalistic work he is the one who mastered torah sannister the beauty that's beneath all the layers all the veneers are the secret shining lights that's behind every oath in the torah that's kabbalah that's tourism and that's the talmud arabic as a consequence the importance of every oath in the torah and who's the one to pull back the layers and on earth and discover the beauty the radiant light that's inside every oath that's inside every jew that's that's the light that's the fire that's the beauty of a lag bomber that's galena viabita and that's torus that's revealing the paneemia inside that's what kabbalah does it tells us the paneemia is our boy saying has to start by seeing and appreciating of the beauty inherent in every single jew and every year corresponds to an oath in the torah and every oath is beautiful and everybody else is precious embryos is overworldly every jew my dear friends is all the world delayed every jew is special every jew is unique and every jew we have to cry for we have to shed tears for because we are incomplete without every single jew this is our tsar it's our united collective haste sorrow we have to cry we have to shed tears because we're now missing pieces of ourselves it's not about 45 it's about one and another and another and another hillary martial didn't kill six million jews he killed one jew six million times over look at what we lost you see a picture of the marshall of adani morris with a hundred thousand jews behind him and him smiling you see that purity pristine of the beautiful the shaman you see it in the shining radiant faces of all the naftara see the beauty and all these special halogen ashamas that's the age of the one and what about the beauty the pineam easter computer the sparkling radiance that's inherent intrinsic in every single jew and every single year by what i see my embryos has its place in the torah and it knows now let it touch another host it's got to have its own unique space out of my side we got to give all the yid in this space of the dalai lamas and we can't shrimp us i want to know that we can't step on one another and you've got to give everybody this space one of the miracles in the basement apparently there are times you might be squashed and the psalms say for even writes it towards motion that itself was an ace really we didn't even have to have that but i wanted to give us the scar of ignorant color or broken stuff of a feeling of what it means to be a part of clay so feeling squashed or clay sober one when it came time to bowing down the stocking revolver we had all this space in the world and because hashem says every unit has to have his dollar helmets every jew has to have his space on my side give all the in their space and give them the hashimoto's evidence and oh senatorial and an host cannot touch another host in the torah it's gotta have its own unique space surrounded by avikaville the parchment around that every host needs its space and we don't tremble and although we can't travel on people we can't step on people and not just literally physically figuratively metaphorically speaking give clients all this space i'll give them their love model yourselves after ishmael everyone says kosher of rabbi keep his rebbe every house is scholarship every host has a crown has the target on top of every jew has a hidden crown every jewish one a part and parcel as a princess i cherish every jew and give every jew this space perky elvis this week how the week of the tragedy was peric dowling benzoma begins donald we have to learn we have to learn from everybody we have to learn from these and if term you listen to the violence and you see highlighted the hashee that's the beauty i can you imagine you see you listen to these levias it doesn't matter whether they're knowing whether they're 12 whether they're 17 18 or 52 years old whether they have a beard or no beard or whether it's a pastor or god whether it's a head away and those who make a difference you know what they are the union and they all have regardless of the physical head covering and they all have a majestic crown they have a metaphysical crown they're part of malachi an angler for every single one and then if torment for each and every one of you the whole world this could die for one house in the torah one glorious majestic oh senator that's you and that's you that's everybody it's not just about 45 it's about each one it's about losing one it's about losing one beautiful precious source our safer torah is incomplete are safer terrorist efficient glycerol is not complete because we now are missing 45 precious holy parts of our nashua how can we not feel the pain along with them how can we not cry with them reply we cry out with them when we feel their pain but we have to walk away like the beautiful precious down syndrome yehuda cooper smith at 17 years old who says i got to walk away i got to emerge bigger better stronger as a greater evidence our boy said there's so many lessons to learn about israel lifestyle would say repeatedly after every tragedy rahman al-islam and we can't get up without the navy and will open aid of him and say this is why it happened that's why it happened and we certainly don't waste our valuable precious time we don't have to see every article on yeshiva world news in our matzah and of course it's nice for holi you know the facts already are play side and you gotta close the computer screen close the websites and the blogs and it's time we have to work on ourselves and individuals to say am i mash of every year and my master's about precious how beautiful a majestic the princes and princesses of klein israel that make up the oceans of the torah of the israel aviation rebel are we giving everybody this space the dalai lamas we need the obviously on the avocado has to start and be mavusa samir said predicated on what an understanding i give a young another yet his or her space remember hearing years ago our lord jacobowitz from england said a beautiful insight and we know that at the end of our shrey how we take three steps back and then we say oh so show them in you know why you have to take three steps backs explain the lord emmanuel jacob quran and because in order to talk about also shalom in rainbow and to ask hashemian you know what it's got to start with you got to take three steps back and let him know that he didn't have his space and we don't need to occupy the space of another yet get every into space and it's not just the physical they'll notice the physical practical pragmatic space it's the kashivis the metaphorical figurative space of every it has his or her own knowledge i'm a space and tafkan in this world every jew has his or her shame as the room says your place in this world you have a name you have a top kid a boy sign let's never step on other people figuratively speaking let's love every oath every year let's give every single jew into her space and let's make sure we have an ambassador and let's make sure we don't just love one another or master one another we know we've covered zelda's it and we make sure to grow and emerge bigger and better as of the hashem and to know that the abrasion never stops looming us it's a step ever closer atabiya is called siddiq let's be misaquino let's get together and recognize we always have been and we always will be one composite hall one cohesiveness one give echo together with each and every one of you and your beautiful precious oceans in the torah that the amister loves you more than you could ever ever imagine now let's follow the ways of the abrasion let's love every year more than they can ever imagine let's be masha put every year on a pedestal we know it covers elizabeth let's give every year his or her space that's become bigger greater of the hashem and let's bring about the once and for all the abuse and that we'll see with the piers called zedek on the main i mean wow what inspiring message rabbi fine thank you very very much amazing i'm unbelievable you should continue all that you do every financially at this time we have with us rabbi dr david fox who is the director of uh project high crisis intervention trauma and bereavement department uh with high lifeline rabbi dr david fox lita please good evening from los angeles and it's an honor although a sad honor to be part of this important program sponsored by hazak and mayu and all that you work at for the sake of the jewish people everywhere continue with great strength and great splendor it's also an honor and a treat to listen to rav finer and a humbling feeling to be on the same program as him and each time that rabbi fighter speaks to gly israel we feel the energy we feel the fervor and the sweet sincerity coming from his heart through his poetic words the title of our program this evening is on coping with all that's gone on in eric israel and in our work crisis intervention and addressing trauma among people coping takes on an unfortunate meaning because coping means how do you get past something and to be very candid it's far too soon to get past our reactions so fresh that they've seared themselves into our hearts it's far too soon to take perspective or to offer interpretation of what's happened and the coping that we want to look at tonight is much more basic than getting past this but it's the coping of understanding that we do react it's normal to react in many many different dimensions when as a refiner has pointed out all of us have been stricken when all of us have been hit then it's normal and it's healthy to react it's not at all normal to have no reaction at all i often cite a passage from asyashir in the song of rejoicing at our surviving massive trauma at kriyasyamsuf and the trauma was knowing that other people had died and we had survived but one of the verses that we proclaim that there fell over people amen now what is that referring to what did we mean in this elegy when we call out to god and we remark that we're aware that there's emma and there's pachad be falling people aima after all is not the same as they're not entirely synonymous because pachad means terror that means petrified it means shaking that's what it means to be mafarid and aima is something much more intellectual it's apprehensiveness it's worried concern and what exactly is the scope of a masala rashi quotes one version of a madrish which is illuminating and also is one that resonates for those of us in mental health because of the accuracy of this mattress and she tells us that the difference between the ema and the pacha reactions was that the pachad is what hits the krovin the terror is what befalls those who are right there and who experience the tragedy those who see it and live through it so and in contrast the ema the apprehensive worried focus the medrash says this is what hits the rohokim the people who feel distanced from that tragedy the people who weren't there who didn't see it firsthand who heard about it through the news through the media by way of mouth and there's a contrast between filming pachad and feeling emo that generally speaking when we're involved directly in tragic events we're traumatized that's the effect it has on us because whether we see it do we hear the screens or we witness the bloodshed if we're right there it stuns us it shakes us and we're affected in thought we're affected in emotion we're affected physically reflected in our behavior we're changed because of trauma and yet when we are rohokin when we feel estranged or geographically distanced we're not there but we read about it or we hear about it and we learn about it so there's also an impact that it's supposed to have and that's called ema now you may have noticed that in the basic there's an unusual conjugation that the bossic says doesn't say ima so for that there's a midrashic thought also that this expression this word this unusual framing of the word for ima so there's one matrix that says that this means hashem that sometimes what hits you from a distance may not be the terror and the pachad but what hits you is the theology what hits you is the existential why did it happen what does it mean will it happen again why would a kodeshwar do this is he going to have other targets for monolith and these are very different reactions and those who are up close present and cease this we expect them normally to have very very stark very intense and body and mind and heart and soul encompassing reactions and those of us who feel distant we're not there we're not part of it and we didn't know anyone who was harmed and we don't know any of any casualties there's still an effect that this has on hidden on human beings and our thoughts do turn to hakodeshwara and we may not get very far in pondering the why questions why did it happen to them and our this state and in that place and that's often a futile effort a misuse of our psychological and spiritual energy to hunt right away for meaning or to personalize or to interpret but there's room for and there's room for ima and as harvard finer has pointed out in this situation none of us are ahoking we may be geographically distanced but we're not rochokin we're not estranged we're not separate they are us each one of them is me we are an uma we are a nation we are all part of a karishwahu's family bani matem and by all rights we can't cope yet by getting past this what we want to be doing instead looking for how it's hitting us there and each of us we're not cold-hearted people we're not narcissistic uncaring uncompassionate jewish people if each of us stops what we're doing and we slow down and we distance ourselves a little bit from all of the demands of our routine and we focus on the room and then we take that focus inward you'll have your reactions you'll have your thought reactions the worry the flashing back the horrible imagery for those of you who were distracted by the photographs but this will occupy your thoughts and if you internalize a national tragedy as a personal tragedy it'll show up in your emotions we feel sad sadness is a feeling that's appropriate and it's natural and it's healthy when there's sadness around us and some of us will feel scared that this could happen where and when it did and what does this mean for all of us on a day that was the cessation of the mises tummy did what does this mean for us we'll have our emotions and some of us will have our physiological reactions whether it's nausea or not being able to sleep or not being able to get up being in discomfort having no appetite not wanting to laugh not wanting to listen to music that shows up in the body and some of us will notice behavioral change we're more subdued we're more withdrawn or sometimes in the opposite direction we just want to talk and talk about this and we want to dwell on the details and we keep focusing becoming a little hyper and very very intensely focused on all of the information that is shuttled through to us through the press and some of us have the amount some of us react spiritually and it may be an increased fervent of oda that we need to dauben or say to hillary harder we want to make our sadorium and learning torah much more meaningful and sometimes people react after tragedy the opposite direction and it's hard to get motivated it's hard to build up that momentum spiritually because we're struck we're down there's a sapping of the energy including the spiritual energy for some of us so the coping we're needing to do as healthy human beings as fellow jews sisters and brothers of those lost and they alone is to look out for them to look back in give yourself the ability to feel acknowledge for yourself that you feel and identify what you're thinking and own up to the emotions that are present it's normal to react it's not normal not to have a reaction and if the reaction that you come up with is not the pachad but it's the emma which means that you're struggling theologically with this so mattobeumannoyam also that's also growth that's also healthy but do something with it those of you who feel the pahad do something with it acknowledge it to yourself find a confidant someone who cares about you and who you care for and you trust and talk through what you're going through this is how we process and that's different than coping to move on this is just the coping of self-awareness that helps you rejoin the human race and to recognize that i'm a feeling caring compassionate person talk it through and then talk to your kids or talk to others and encourage them to look at how they're reacting and to help them find that place inside of them that is the emo anupheba sora or maybe says maybe it's the call sarasom which is a very different psychological state and the same thing goes for those who are in the tibal allah dimension if you're struggling spiritually or you're not knowing what to do with your spiritual reactions your rookiness torment in whichever direction you're taking it identify what you're feeling identify what you're thinking look into yourself do some religious growth find a trusted spiritual tormentor it could be your rapidson it could be your world it could be your javruza it could be a parent it may be your rebbe but find someone to talk through what does that want for me how do i take this turmoil going on inside of my soul at a time like this when i'm beset by so much confusion and so many questions and utilize it this is what a nissaian is because an assoy means that we look at our external circumstance we look at our subjective response and when it troubles us or it confuses us however it hits us the messiah is to find a way to rise with it from the word mace not the miraculous base but the banner in the mid bar that we saw from the distance so we could retrace our steps and get closer to it and this is the objective of nicionos to grow with them let them take you higher ascend with them so whether it's the emotions that you're having the coping that we do right now is acknowledge them and experience them and find a way to harness their energy in a way that's ascendant and propels us further and the same thing holds true for the spiritual reactions we grow from them we grow with them but we can only do that by acknowledging them and by discussing them with someone who cares and listens empathically and supportively and not critiquing us and not judging us and not saying what you shouldn't feel what you feel or why you're thinking that way you shouldn't think that way but let's take stock of who we are and what we're going through at a time like this it's far too soon to figure out the lesson as refiners said we're not naveen we're not prophetic and we don't know yet why this happened we may never know why this happened not our job it's not upon us we take the expression gamsulatova and for a situation like this in my opinion it's far too premature to be brushing it off and saying it's for something good but the essence in my opinion of the ghazal expression latav of it or gamsu letova the essence of that expression is that letter lamid which means we don't say after tragedy gamsuta we don't say this is good we don't say that what's happening to us and what's happened to them and what's happened in this matzah that's affecting so much of choice well they don't say it's good but we do work with that ammuna postulate that it's lethova that we'll get to a better spot with time we'll head in a direction that will prove that something good eventually will come our way but let's recognize as i've said that the coping that's incumbent upon us right now is not to get past this the coping is to feel it to think it to experience it to live it to re-identify yourself with the rest of clyde israel we don't know why we look at as refiners said from the demonia vamos the difficulty attributed to the thousands of tamid akiba that they didn't show respect one to another and one thing that we can take from this is that the hafsaka the break in the losses this year did not end among and something that we can take is that means that the mission of know-how to be killed zen loser has to continue for us and it's not just a matter of honoring and respecting which are part of any way in your day the halacha is about needing to do that and how to do it and with him to do it but there's also a respectfulness that comes from upgrading our perception of one another something that in another talk i call the benevolent gaze the iron top that we want to look at other hidden and not look at them critically not look for the flaw or the deficiency when we meet another jew when we're hiking on the trail we're in the mall wherever it is so look at them with affection look at them with respect look at them with honor look at them as they are me we are one [Music] look for the positive avoid the cynicism and the sarcasm and the pessimism let's upgrade our respecting gaze of one another that we look and we look for the positive and we nurture that and we praise that and we express gratitude and we have good things to say about the hidden that we meet day by day whether they're our friends or whether we don't know them but let's let's work on that modality of showing covered one to the other in this past week's portion the torah tells us that he says that when you're going to offer your gratitude off of them there it's baku it seems like unusual or atypical wording [Music] that you sacrifice that we would tone him according to your will now there are about that what we infer from it but there's a very precious spin interpretative drausha on this basic from one of the earlier rebbes from the dynasty known as sabran the sabrana he offered a tight she offered a an angle of understanding this that lyrics that when you're going to do your mother to god and you're trying to express your gratitude to him or your appreciation of your fellow jews do it take your own self in tizbahu get rid of it leave yourself out of it merge with that other person merge with claudius for ill leave the egocentricity aside be there with them because they are you lyrics and and this is the holy abode facing us at a time when there are other people hurting and we're trying to resonate with some aspect of what they've gone through lyrics bahu set the self aside merge with the other cultivate your empathy make your attachment be there with them because they are you and you're a part of them we turn to you we offer azerbach toda where's our own we try and we try we want to serve you we love you we want to fill your love and we're going to work on feeling your love by nourishing our ahabis israel our love for one another at this time it has taken a horrible loss a horrible tragedy for us to just stop in our tracks and recognize that some of us are missing and we're going to do what we can somehow to try addressing that void that absence by becoming croven instead of rehoking by becoming attached rather than distanced by feeling solidarity rather than isolation and in this host of all we're trying to do to be the type of children [Music] that you seek can you can you show us the media [Music] and can we be zakha to better times and to dance this time at the camera of shimon bayochi rabbi dr david fox thank you once again to robbie finer thank you everyone for joining us for this night of inspiration night of hezuk want to thank project kai the project of high lifeline in the white shoe for joining us in this special program i want to thank tor anytime for hosting the event on their platform really appreciate it and i want to reiterate many people are asking what can we do we want to do we heard some advice but uh let's do more torah like was mentioned in the beginning the guidelines that we have to increase in torah we want to organize more sheer and more physical whether it's online whether it's in person kazakh is ready willing and able anyone online watching is interested in getting involved with the revolution please do reach out to this organization one three 718-285-9132 i'll stay a little bit slower seven one eight two eight five nine one three two and of course our main mission is to save as many in shamath kids in public schools unfortunately there's ten thousand if you're in queens in barcelona we've chanted already but we could do much more if anybody knows any children that are in the public school systems let's translate them to ishivat first hosts for those that are nifter for the seven aliyah and the shema for his quotes for those that needed washed him out of complete recovery and uh my rebbe of aaron walken used to always have a quote and he says it follows big people are made with small actions let's take it upon ourselves to do more small actions which will eventually be big and we all know the famous martial i believe it's from the khabit khan that there was a community unfortunately they were divided with a wall in between and the leaders of the community said let's unite one day and take down this wall and what happens is that they all run and try to knock down the wall and it's not falling down and they're all banging and hitting and punching and doing whatever they can to bring down the wall and they're not there they're not successful all of a sudden a young individual goes over there gives a little bit of a push and the whole wall falls down everyone's like wow how were you able to do that and he simply answered that you guys did all the work but you stopped i just had to give an extra push and everybody asked when's the ghouler going to come there's so many tadikim so many good darling so many big rabbis that were in the previous generations and they didn't bring the gula and the answer to that is they already did a lot of the work we just have to give a little bit more of a push who knows what small actions that we could do as that hashem will make the difference and talking about small actions i've seen it with my own eyes a little bit over a year or two ago a friend of mine dr jonathan donov decided he has an idea to help claudi's troll what was the idea the idea was you know tzedakah is very very important some of it saves from death why don't we have a campaign where we give a dollar a day and he started a whole organization called dailygiving.org i encourage everyone to visit it right now for us huss for the fashion for elune for that of everyone amit hashem and join this amazing amazing revolution where over 5 000 people have already joined where they give a dollar a day and every single day there's a different organization that benefits from that seductive i believe there's 50 different organizations high lifeline being one of them khazak many other great tzedakah's organizations are benefiting from this concept and uh and and and barak hashem it's been growing and growing and growing and it's making a very big difference and we encourage everyone to be part of it your small change could literally change the world so dailygiving.org check it out whenever you have a chance and hashem we hope and we pray the next time rabbi finally rabbi fox we get together it should be together in your salami dish with the mouth with the redemption it should be spilling their days amen yes thank everyone