Rabbi Gavriel Friedman Judaism - Whats With All the Rules? at 9th Annual Project Inspire Convention

Hey good morning everybody I was just reminded and I actually all of shoppers have amenities meaning to say but every time I actually got to speak I forget to say it so I'm gonna say now I mentioned in other forums and other areas for those who are familiar that I recently think well I think we would Lord its pastor recently but I was quite sick and I know a lot of people were diving for me and I want to just say a very very big thank you for all those at davin for those who didn't I don't want to really say anything now cuz I'm being recorded but I have a lot of things I'd like to say to you also just make that clear just don't don't think you're off the hook right so for those who haven't Skyhawks please you could take me off your your ICU lists right you can so you can move me off but she's looking for my kids never hurts you know I'm saying a little young but you know so it's good to start all right let's get started I love the room with the pillow right in the middle nothing like it okay so um is that me Oh someone has a phone who's just making noise okay I don't even a good spot yeah you sure all right fine okay we're gonna play a little a little game right now a little association game if that's all right you know I'm gonna say a word I want you to tell me what comes to mind I will just say that if you have heard this class before I'm gonna make very clear do not be that guy and if you are that guy I will call you out I will lose my all on my ball but I already did it last class so you don't again I gonna get much right so so let's uh let's let's try I say a word you tell me it comes to mind okay are we ready those aren't good please leave but for those who are here we go ready if you don't answer I'm going to call a new person just by making that clear you are here at your own risk here we go ready and up not bad right all I was gonna get all around think up up down down right okay so who we had a thing going down there okay black you guys are really contrarian science you okay Michael Michael okay good Michael Michael okay hey Alfred Alfred you can repeat the same thing it's okay Alfred orange oj it's thinking guilty but all right here we go here we go Hashem I just want to make note that anyone else noticed that or no I go black if it was white up down Hashem one person goes hard Hashem weak Hashem Michael hey Alex I don't wants to do it now okay all of a sudden were quiet in the room are we okay look we have to get you up again so let's do this here we go ready Marco Yiddish guy who said that I heard two answers yeah yeah and Judaism year escape Yiddish guy you're this guy you're this guy Emunah Paulo you Shiva's move alright alright peeps so we're gonna put that on the back burner for a moment and I have a question for all y'all out there if this is clear to you you are making clear that you're that guy here we go has anyone here ever been in a rules before Hashem everyone's from America or North America let's try has anyone here ever been in any rules before have you been in the rules are you le s rules have you ever been in the rules okay I'll word it differently let me word it differently has anyone here ever been in a relationship before yeah are there rules and relationships how many so I gave this over once and there was a couple in the room they were sitting next to each other than a chateau in the assessor's room and I said how many rules are there and this couple answered at exactly the same time the guy said as many as she says and the woman said as many as I say because at the save time I was like hot salaka rava hey to the woman and the guy okay but there are rules the relationships have many rules and relationships you can't just do whatever you want whenever you want however you want when a person's in relationship there are many rules however wherever however let's try to understand this a little bit sorry flu what happened there Oh anybody wants Coke Zero we are set are there rules dancers there are lots of rules and relationships however let's try to understand something just because what's going on here there are rules and relationships does it really matter now I need a I need a man who is whose wife is not in the room and is willing to to play a little game who's not up for it raise your hand that means you all are good okay so you're wearing your sweater yeah what's your name no behind no no you mayor are you married oh forget it alright fine you know what let's try that's good that's good she Duke him say your full name please get the camera in the back thing okay let's let's try this I want you to try to play this little game here imagine you're working you get a phone call from your wife okay and your wife calls you and says honey she's Spanish she says honey and you say si senorita then you realize it to be Senora and she's married okay Senora and she says I'm hungry you just where you from good you just you finished work you're on your way home and your wife says I'm hungry you say excellent excellent take note everybody you say okay hold on hold on we're gonna get to you in a minute don't worry he said you could tell he's not married that's yeah but he's speaking to him soon no way all right which one although the the prospective shivers oh he said what can I get you to eat oh oh okay doing much better than the last guy last guy said what do you you know what do you say on Yama the guy goes me to hangs up the phone all right all right so you say I'm hungry now I forgot I just have to make very clear coming up to perm now there is a emission of Pirkei avos the Mishna says that if you say an idea you must say ashame Almirall and it's maybe gula Lowell um and not only that what am i what am i caboose anyone out there into her and it maybe you could tell us the the mine welcome for this but one of my one of my Heyliger we weren't abuzer truths but we were friends one of my calves a rim in interest Moshe mentioned to me that there's a reason that says that if you do not mention the name of the person you are marking the gula which is pretty heavy which means all you all out there that come up with sure them and pretend like they're yours but really three with someone else you should know you're the one and get the end you up in therapy I may know you shouldn't say the opposite right so let's let's take a look I heard you this this muscle I'm sure you thrown out heard from have been stealing classic oh this muscles beautiful you see how beautiful goes okay so again your name starts with an N or than M okay not Nayar okay so I'll be your wife for today all right here we go for now after this class over we're done kids make that clear okay we're done it's over before you even know it okay I'm hungry you say pizza okay you're doing good but you live in Lawrence you should know the next question good which pizza store do you want it from right if you live like Nebraska it would be a little different yes so I say you're already you're already on Central Avenue I say I want it from pizza piea so all I'm sending you out to Broadway yeah is it still there is it still exist okay yeah sighs a pizza place it's another pizza story so you go ahead and you say okay good good so far so good keep going I want pizza three slices okay now we know it some other would say right it's men's outlook you're married in the beginning be like sure as things going maybe like honey maybe just a salad I don't want to say anything I don't wanna be the one to tell I'm not hinting okay I'm being out right yeah okay baby so I said I want three slices you say yes can you supersize it right I want to diet coke with my three slices yeah with some sweetener okay not sugar so say go ahead and we keep going with this and this is like I want to tell you have you heard this before you are incredible you are your actual I don't know if you are you might not be you might be really not good but but so far you're doing really well you're doing really well yeah now listen to this this is a person who's in a relationship when a person is in a relationship and the relationship is going well it's going phenomenal a person is in love when the purse is in love what will they do everything they'll go above and beyond they'll go the distance they'll do more than anyone couldn't even imagine and it's not a burden it's not challenging is it that there are no rules there of course there's rules but their focus is totally not there their focus is on the relationship when things are going well we focus on the relationship when we're going in the relationship I would do anything for that and I would do that we do anything we go above and beyond we go the distance persons first anniversary's coming up what do they do they stay up all night long getting ready preparing putting things together aren't you tired tired who cares aren't you hungry what does it matter I love Ryan things are going things are going great now one we think like okay love yeah it's like a nice guy you should concept you know love right it's not like we have via half dose of Charlotte Kershaw and things like wait love is real this such a thing called love now could be that many people don't have it and it's more infatuation you know classic ich move there it's possible but ok if you can go beyond two years without kids and still be connecting with each other then we could start to see there's something real there but at least in the beginning they're in love Britons in love and what happens to a person's in love so we know the Gemara comes and tells us the Gemara tells us i think it's a set head Joan on page 105 but you're not gonna check anyway the governor says maybe it's go file if I think it's cafe if it's cooked ham and Island and the gomorrah says it's also brought enemy just ten kumar Norden hey yes I think Ron she brings it down in Genesis I'll be the first book of the five books voracious chapter I'm gonna go 22 I think it's also brought down and pushes Bullock the flip side of this says the measure says Rashi says the Gemara I have uh McHale Kelly this Ashura loves messes up lines what else what else messes up lines love messes up lines what else hate messes up line love is binding this infatuation that's infatuation but your love mess up lines hate messes up lines well what is that what I mean where do we find this so what's 22 or 21 waiting punches for a row yeah Gotham Aveeno I caught this vocalist disc a closely because because sure after and go kill him and what happens my gosh came out from Bob okay Alvin gets up early in the morning but Jakob watches Komuro he saddles his own donkey now recognized Avram Aveeno was a billionaire a billionaire I'm a veto I mean he had loads of stocks in flocks the guy was loaded he had servants had people working for him when do you find that a billionaire saddles his own donkey so we do have another man welcome where's that good bill um bill I'm out of the show what happens a bit on what happened the bill up bilham gets up early in the morning but yeah Cobo says yeah so no good it's a good question why I switched over there so you have done before minute something but okay we go ahead and we switch it but in point is the same love myths up lines and over there take us out hate the messes up lines now the hate is a separate in the discussion I'm not I just wanted to bring out the point but love is where we're focusing here our person who goes then their love they'll be able to go and they'll be willing to go above them be able to do more than ever would have done the first place I've mentioned many times in the past that I have tremendous at cars at ov I went to a high school called Davis friend of Sally she bicycle for boys I think there's an RN s with us perhaps today and I I couldn't get into high school so they made one for me and I really am indebted for that thank you very much it's very nice them to accept me on behavioral and academic probation and the receiver there if he saw coming Netscape he did a lot for me and there's one thing to think I felt the guide to thank him for I hadn't seen her many years and I and I saw him in Eretz Israel on a little of st. James I don't know what that is in the old city rights when you're coming down how are you pal Harry Potter Ville and then you make a left so so I saw become an esky there I saw him like oh yeah be so nice to see oh he said no now that I'm seeing you he comes every winter to visit his tummy there I'm seeing I'm seeing my one hundred and eightieth alumni we both corrected him almost alumni whatever it's my focus whether they asked me to leave I want early admissions okay so I said you know there's two things I have to thank you for you said okay what imagine 20 years later you see a teacher you want to go ahead you want to thank them what are you gonna thank them for I said number one I want to thank you for that little incident that happened in ninth grade when the English principal wanted to have me arrested and you held them off thank you very much can't go into it it's a non-disclosure number two number two I want to thank you there was a rule in our school that you must have your shirt tucked in you must have your shirt tucked in he laughed at me when I said he said we got rid of that a long time ago but when I was there it was the first year of the school and they were actually trying to make it look like something so there these rules I for the life of me could not concentrate having my shirt tucked in I know it's hard to imagine being that I'm a very orderly person and probably you can see me as a mathematician of sorts but it's just I just couldn't handle it and he gave me a pass I was the only kid in the school the only kid in the school that had a pass that I didn't have to have my shirt tucked in tremendous now you think like okay like what's the big deal but everybody are something that bothers them yeah if something that bothers them and that thing is bothering you you're just like when you're taking a test you know and someone's like with their pan they're going like and you love it you love it you love it to death and not exactly a bullet you can't concentrate I also couldn't concentrate my shirt you see you don't have that protected fast forward a few years of driving up to Montreal Canada I'm going to visit my wife I'm on my way to visit my wife this time because we were not yet married and I was driving with somebody my parents had wanted to go alone I Drive it's a 400 mile drive sister kilometers for all your Canadians out there eight and within a block at Allis I stopped the car my friend goes what are you doing and I got out of the car I started to tuck myself in and then my friend went in like what are you what's going on I said I don't know but love messes up lines when a person's in love they'll go above and beyond if you're in a relationship and the beginning relationship and the things are awesome things are going great and things are going amazing so everything's one two five of things while now let's fast forward a little bit raka monoliths lon Lowell a new what is that come on let's lawn mean don't even tell me raise your interview now if you don't raise your hand that means you don't know and if you do I'm calling on you what is our smanos I've ever heard the expression rocks model it's lund right how many who's heard the expression here we all heard it now keep your hand up if you know what it means not fascinating what's more fascinating if someone didn't hear it but they knew what it meant I was amazing oh I just rocks monoliths line literally means me the merciful one save us we should never have to follow such an idea so the next time you say you're something bad to your ear ah come on Olaf it's always great near the Bali to becoming they don't know the difference someone's like I had a baby well come on girl it's done oh they're like somebody passed away Oy Mazel Tov Mazel Tov I never let Sun Laurel a no or Lorelei any law Lena means it should not be upon us when a relationship perhaps gets into a situation where it starts to go a little bit lower so we got up in the top here yachts going grades Rocking but then it drops a little bit and that love isn't there anymore so now all those rules that used to not bother you and not only did they not bother you but you'd be willing to take more rules upon yourself I'll do more for them I'll go above and beyond I'll do more I'll do more for them all those rules start to be very obvious and they start to stay in that anybody get me don't be embarrassed anybody got me yeah only the women I only feel like I'm understood this side of me it starts to shift from this relationship to now falls into category of rules now what happens when folks are category rules okay em here we go I'm hungry so you'll be the wife now call me up let's say honey yeah okay I'm hungry and I say back when we're in rules I say all right I have rules I have obligations the things I've to take care of there's stuff I have to do I'll do what I have to do I'll pick you up something to eat goodbye now I'm doing gonna have to do I'm getting them something to eat that they said they're hungry I'm gonna take care of I have to take care of however I wherever can you see the difference now it becomes rules now what happens about kimono let's learn what does that mean may the merciful protect the spider that's Hashem I know if I made it clear may I shall protect us if it goes more than that and it doesn't go back up now it's not unusual for a relationship to go like this it's not unusual for there's okay there's ups there's downs but hopefully the up is more than the down the up is more than the down that the direction is this way and not that you know now like that but if it starts to go like this then all of a sudden not only do you notice the rules but the rules start to bother us now colds mine I was in love I was willing to handle the fact that I didn't have colds man I was in love I was willing to deal with the fact that Oh Megan as long as I was in love I had the rules didn't bother me and even when I wasn't so in love but it dropped a little bit I was still willing to deal with the wolves but what happens if the relationship doesn't pick it up then not only do the rules bother me I'm not interested in having the rules anymore cuz the cost/benefit isn't worth it and well it's not worth it anymore what happens to the relationship it's finished finito as a feeling Lisa Moses did him in Elmo's done I think he's totally done okay that rock monoliths on me god save us should help us no one ever should be in such a situation or main we should all be rich however however however however let's take a look at Judaism now could be one of you said it and if you did I apologize I didn't hear it I heard Torah I heard God I turn a sham heard yay all right I heard ideas about this but nobody did I hear and if he said I apologize I didn't either anybody say relationship what is Judaism Judaism is a relationship that is what yiddish guy is it is a relationship are there rules and relationships absolutely there rules and relationships however if you're in love than the rules not only do they not bother you're you're willing to go above and beyond and do more and do more into more how do we look at you this guy so you look at about two of versus a person who grew up religious you can see this event it's an excitement there's a hunger inside them it's great they're just pumped up to get involved in anything take a look you see the difference here the guy wakes up who grew up his whole life you know you know wait a day and right I'm all done it for nothing else have carnal desire successful camera camera camera space pause half the crime kamla robbed Amanda Thacker you look a person who's about true ver it's like a sham I love you you know what love you mo Danny it's exciting lip on a car Malakai yeah this is excitement you want to person's like they have to go watch remote see you know it's like overthink I mostly like okay let's go ah she's what's real job you say let's go Oscar time to wash make sure it's with you Dolloff almost theater you get there quick enough to pay with such a you know and they're like let's do it twice in the right twice on the left up to the wrists don't be cheap would do it this is an excitement there styie inch time Oswald a la Pira Gloria thought but this is excitement it's happening even if they get Yiddish on you which I know I'm gonna say wrong they'll do it anyway survive inside rings because that is that Billy right this is excitement that happens at they get into it I know it's cheap and I gotta get it relaxed right I didn't know that I think you told me I was anyway so I'll point is the point is is that the surprise this is excitement look at you just kind of pushing our bar mitzvah boy and I did about two of our pirates the boy puts on his film the first time it's like you know it's like trepidation and excited give up be ragda you good mommy see it did you look at the purpose about he'll appear others excitement but this is fear we don't know what's going on and then we get out there's like no how was work today what's your door you know how you're not allowed to talk no but come on but rather go back on I say where's like the the fire when it's a relationship Austin credible then what it's up happening Lowell a new rock come on Alex lon what happens then if it breaks down so if it's going well not only does it not bother me here this guide not only do the rules not get in my way I'm willing to take more upon myself I'm willing to be a little max mayor I go little immature is that then I'll get to level me let's go see those I'm able to do more and more and more and this is awesome I love watching people play suck how many kids a sim do people have how many olive amounts do people consume how's that yeah you're like but I still don't get it what the cuz I just have to do with an olive watch I kissed right how many kids a seems even like his eyes you watch this different type of people on Pesach you watch them some people are sitting there like this like just like going out like oh and then I was like well like they're coming out of me trying madness you know that uh this is amazing it's amazing we pumped up do we do more but then laura-leigh Naraku monoliths lon what happens a person doesn't feel that pumping they're not cracking it's not exciting it's not incredible or amazing unbelievable phenomenal so what happens it drops a level two rules and then we say you know what fine I'll do what I have to do what's it called I'll be yo say I'll be oats a whenever somebody says I'll be yo say what are they saying they're saying I'll do what I have to do I'll do what I have to do have to go to chocolate do what I have to do after bench yeah what's the worst thing ever you're in a run you got to go somewhere you get up some like bench like no I'm not benching no one of my kids said they're hungry I said I have a sandwich my kid at the time was like 7 years old I said not a sandwich like what's wrong with the Sims because then I have to wash I have to bench I'm like excuse me you were now that I hate benching 214 how dare you what's going on at Jesus what's the feeling after bench oh no you have to bench that's the unbelievable my focus be shot maybe I ll I think we go through Shami here is that right did I get this right a person eats on the top floor of a building and they forgot the bench and they leave the building in their walk down the block already there you go I have to bench do you have to go back my cloak is pay shot maybe I ll hope I'm getting this right saddle McLucas it is maybe you don't have to get pot skin everyone should know you're good I believe it's based Hillel that says well you're gonna make them go all the way back up I mean the guy just left the office you're gonna make him go all the way back up and base Xiaomi says you ready I hear that I hear somebody leaves their wallet in the office watch you're gonna make them go back up of course that just keep going now that looks I don't know let's say you don't have to go back la loca let's go food you have to go back of course you have to go back and you'd be excited and thrilled oh my wallet Hashem how many of us are like hole punching but in the muck come where I ate or akasha whoa that was close what's it no I don't wanna get it's gonna it's gonna hurt people too much it's too emotional I don't want to forget your cell phone it's like people start crying it's the whole thing you're gonna go ahead you're gonna say how many people go back and say boy real question I went back and are excited to go back holla boy I should reach such a level you know in the bottom say like I'm really speaking to myself if you want to listen you can try well I'm not okay I'm talking to you right and maybe I'll listen yeah let's put it that way cuz so much easier to give other people show some real cash over metallic shot that's my car okay in any event and their friends what happens a person goes ahead and the Judaism is amazing I'll go beyond then it falls to a Beyonce and then they no longer feel the blend the fire the excitement the passion and then they say you know what not only do I notice the rules not only are they troubling I'm not interested them in them anymore and then what happens god forbid done everybody hears this scary when we see that year the skate is a relationship this isn't a fluffy like a nice little project inspire yay yay right this is that's not fluffy that was real but I mean this isn't like yeah like okay nice idea relationship bar near my tell my share my location what do we say every my every year we have a month called Ella what's a lo I need I need lumen ve steel Avadh no long as the real I see some of the women upset I'm so sorry I understand I understand Emilio De Vito dhianeila Dodie Annie Lee Dodie Dodie Lee ro and I am to my beloved My Beloved's to me we sang yes it did nephesh you did nephesh we pay attention what we're saying yes are you doing any housework you did nefesh nap she call us a bus a car I'm lovesick for you Ivana shinola we're in love Sheila Sheila Sheila what's the whole Shira Shira it's a love story to being Kylie shown the Jewish people it's just like a kind of like a nice little cute seek that is Yiddish kite Yiddish kind is a relationship with the people of Shalom that is you this kite but unfortunately sometimes what people do is they don't get that in my experience I have seen at least I can just tell you in terms of my own experience you can have your own that's fine everyone's okay whatever you want to take yours I'm taking mine my experience is that people that grew up religious you know we look at the reports on the two different ways we have a vino and well guys you're not doing well today yeah yeah we do have a vino and volcano what's a Vina what does that mean father what's volcano our king in my experience those the coop religious grew up with Mal Kane Malcolm yeah and my very it's it's volcano MOOCs ah mmm Kaiba's sure let's go no total smear hoes like chill chill take it easy and those who grew up secular grew up Avinu RV no I got a guy he's a secular guy I said why don't you get involved in a little MIT so so you know God you know maybe he goes now you I don't think you understand god I'm not I'm tied we tight but tight you understand we're closed got be good what about MIT sauce God loves me he's my father it's not true loves me I think one side that's dear there's a volcano and the other satisfy there's a ravine oh the recognizes something called Divino and by virtue of the fact that when I said Yiddish guy nobody here except for the one who did I didn't hear you there's always that one who after it said I said where besides you you did say about the you did say it besides you how come nobody said relationship because you didn't grow up with that being here this guy you didn't grow up with year this guy is relationship with three boenish lon we grew up with Torah and that's what I meant by Tyra I meant what I said can't you see how good it is relationship a y-axis a real relationship do bonus column and if a person drops from there they become a bo say the Fabio say they say I'm yo say I'm out and it's done so which one is it the answer is it's both Girish kite is a relationship and you just get his rules it's both they're both there the question is what do you choose to focus on do you choose to focus on the fact that you have must do this must do that must do this most of that or do you focus on the fact that this is our Father in Heaven we have the opportunity to be connected with the Almighty we have can be connected with that Shem that's incredible what do we look at now how does that pan out we're gonna play another game now we did a little word association game we're gonna do another one this is a word translation game I'm gonna say word I want you to translate it I say a word you translate it here we go ready the word is ha go now with relationship yes another interpretation owes you okay now I told you that I in at uh now okay uh Bellomo Cena and the slanderers scoff scoff of slanders okay uh baroque I love that one okay oh look at that nice whipping out to be shown him alright Torah okay there's how many blue room right now there's about two thousand people here three three thousand three thousand people maybe in eighth of the room that's a lot for three thousand so let's say there's like 250 300 I said when his tour Amin so quiet it was so quiet why was it so quiet what is Torah mean rabona shillelagh Shen do not pull this move on me later I knew it I just didn't want to say it you know wanted to give other people a chance that they also know it then didn't say it okay so for those who spoke up you're correct the word Torah means instructions you want to call guidelines and that that's better it's fine called guidelines I always even meant I didn't want to go down there but I was hoping this these are the easy ones I didn't get to the hard one yet so we're having trouble already oh yes right what does all you mean okay Randy Rock come on oh let's lon okay no no no no no no I guess Mac you ball dig hey they're like the same thing twice as like I heard her and then okay okay with this one how about this one how about this one now I'm gonna ask you word I want you to give me a translation of the word I don't want us a shear or a nice beautiful idea I'm Chi I want you to translate the word who's up for it I don't up for the challenge I want to ask you personally who who wants to take it on yeah it can I do it is this your grandson was it you don't know this kid you came yourself how'd you show up here I'm Mordecai trap Wow how young you look what big eyes you have alright everybody what is the word mitzvah mean okay good now hi we have something called relationships yeah relationships we have something called rules and as you can see over here there's nothing here that's if we go beyond that relationship rules let's work within rules let's continue on with our mal que no mal que you know what's your disguise Mitzvahs what amidst those rules commandments really it's accurate salve Salve as a Comanche boy so that's good we're correct there's only one problem not there's really only no problem this there's a huge problem if you look at you dish kite-like rules or like torah or like however you were looking before then in the tsunami you will translate mitzvot probably along those lines and that's what you all did whoever did and we translated mitzvahs Commandments or command monday our mental and that's correct pero if anyone was paying attention at approximately 1248 a.m. on Friday night Chavez early morning when remember the old gold mentioned he quoted me saying this particular Zoey that the Gemara brings down the word mitzvah comes from another word which is south so which means ella punto de connect see on south saw is a point of connection or connection point who here speaks modern hebrew do you guys do anything does anybody do anything here they're all answering I'm just saying they're not though does anybody here speak a little Hebrew yeah a little yeah okay how beautifully yeah Kotani okay slowly okay what is the word sad that mean you go to an organization you go to some event like this you'll see in the back it'll say seventh that seventh is a staff or a crew or a group why is the word in Hebrew seventh because the word said vet is another word for Mitzvah or savta which means connection points when you work together at a particular event you're all there for one point as soon as that point is gone everybody disbands so if you translate Mitzvah is command which is accurate then you're in the world of rules if you're in the world of rules here in the world of Malky know if the world of alkane know you're in the world of Albie Yotes say if you're in the world that I'll be yo say it's you're in the world of like if I must I to give you a noise that would be like if you're in the world of relationship you're in the world of point of connection even the world the point of connection you're in the world of Avinu if in the world of Avinu you're in the world of awesome in the world of awesome it's yo yo so which one are we are we or yeah yeah and judging on what we've seen so far things are not looking too good fellows and fellows fellows and fellows fellow eights Toulouse fellows not looking too good where are we holding what is here this guy to us this is not philosophy this is soakin this is the ultimate of what it's meant to be the Tsar goes into it not that I would know under 40 but when I was over 40 this always speaks about the whole concept of the relationship between the Jewish people and a sham and love that the forefront of course is something called Lyra and there's something called mal que no what's the purpose of year in mal que no what's the purpose they keep you in check it is a safety net it's a safety net but do not confuse yeeeaaahhh as the ultimate relationship certainly not year astonish us that robo Morse I'm not going to start with cuz you're gonna hold my cloak as we've shown them but I'm not going to do that but you're its owner certainly not try to imagine it like a couple that's married for ten years at their 10-year anniversary the husband takes his wife out for a beautiful anniversary dinner and the wife is always astounded how is he always so good he's amazing he's so amazing incredible so she decided to ask him he never missed a birthday anniversary birth birth Sri and Anna thing never misses it so she decides to ask him tell me how are you so perfect so we go stop it thank you but no really please no no no please no no tell me how and now she sees he starts getting nervous what it's nothing I love you how are you so perfect he's like okay I'll tell you I'll tell you before we got married I had a meeting with my rabbi and he told me every woman carries with her two pistols one in her purse and one in ur sheitel and I was told if I ever mess up it's over can you imagine the feelings of love the wife will be feeling at that moment that's why you were so perfect he goes yeah that's that was everything that she's all devastated he goes I'm so sorry yeah and she goes well you're right answer is here is a relationship you're as in check if you don't have here it's a problem if in a relationship you don't understand that there's boundaries that's a problem but that's not the relationship the relationship Basava the relationship is love the relationship is connection and relationship so why are we holding person says what's with all these rules the others kind of so it's so burdensome it's so Chea it's so challenging it's so hard it's so difficult why does God have to make it so many rules I've never heard a cousin or a caller ever I never really spoke to them but I don't imagine I would have heard that a person's walking down and someone whispers you know that once you do this you're now stuck that the guy was like walking goes forgot it goes what are you talking about stuck with what's talked with this woman so like it's amazing I love this person of course I'm gonna be with this person yeah Covino style go it I want to be with this bit of court there's rules who cares all those rules are just there to teach us how to have the relationship that's it all these quote unquote burdensome things are there for us to actually get something out of life I always think of it like a roller coaster you go to a roller coaster anybody been to a roller coaster no column oh come on yes great adventure you're gonna make an intervention you always have it's like it's only Jews but everybody's wearing their Yankee cap with a one-string of it's it's it's sticking out and they're like walking like as if like sums like no means about the hot dogs and the guy goes voice I don't know you talk about I am not there why you think I'm Jewish you know young cadet Kim and I we know you're Jewish if you are Yankees that you are Jewish that's it how do we know because the Yankees are rich you go to a rollercoaster there are tons of rules by tons I mean like six but it's an expression you can't be too tall you can't be too short you must keep your arms and legs and all times if you have long hair you must chop it off if you have a long beard or pious if you have jewelry you must either keep it very collect close and tight or take it off this with this place I thought this is like an amusement park I thought it's just that fun here supposed to enjoy ourselves why are the rules I want to put my arms the legs out I want the jewelery let it ride I wanted to make my hair all there out and wear loose clothing and not put the thing all the way down what will come back maybe a torso I always think about in terms like that it would be like on the calamari so it's kind of different to us make sure your titles are on well your tires are tied very tight your fitness are in flack up and in get yourself and go at the end they give out kögel and when it's not like the same pictures they sell in the negotiation of things they sell a picture of you whatever they have a family picture after it's like comes I'm stopped ah yes these rules are there for us to be able to connect and be able to get to the highest levels of excitement and joy and connection it's not there to lose it's there to gain anybody who says what's with all the rules either is and I'm saying this now in seriousness and I apologize either right now is not doing too well in terms of their own relationship either with Hashem or with their spouse or with their kids or whatever's going on and that's the way that they see everything someone who's raised on what it really is about that soo-mack it's amazing it's unbelievable and you wake up in the morning not oh no I have to but I can oh no I must but what an opportunity a different look it's up to you what do you want to look at it like okay people we're on to do right now just a quick recap everything we did will end up with one point and then that'll be it here we go so we started off in the beginning uh spent little association up down right left all around black white aren't you guys you guys I'm gay get a sky cricket Judaism as it had ever been the rules before anybody understand the color has anybody been in the rules before yes or no do they understand the question now catch at that's what a person what when the relationship drops a level now I'm inner rules so we think we think absolutely about it my personal rules a little bit Alicia president love to go bug me out to do more yes mayor get me something further further where'd you go with it mayor leave me no there you are horny manatees are the further get myself a pizza pies or three slices salad now why to get more kids you supersize this can't get a diet coke please a little sweetener a little bit fat little chip make it makes the crispy thank you that a person can see little bit further in typically I'm gonna do a little but then what happens is relationship goes on Rach come on ol its lon around come on not lease lon it breaks that a little bit becomes rules becomes okay I get you something to eat it gets more than all the sudden I can't say anymore I don't want anymore leave me alone right really delete collared the black car whatever it is no longer a relationship totally done it so don't have enough food in this house let me get a little further what's your dish guides cricket a sham so nice toga yeah mitzvahs beautiful relationship are there rules of course this rules the stones are world but who cares about the rules I'm in love who says the Gemara could fail morale but they don't support never been a 55-year donate heads vanraj shields better a sheet two different places I do and I haven't look against this sure you tuck yourself in we do things that are above and beyond that we never would have done before because I'm in love but if Romano let's unload Lina let's unwrap is it breaks out a little bit it becomes rules okay okay we bonus all I'll do what I have to do I'll be oats a OB oats a as opposed to I want to do more in the future said then I'll come before Daphne I'll come early I can't wait I'm excited I'm gonna watch them in a bench I forgot my band Jing I'm sorry sham it's still here I'm within 72 minutes it's still right there on the table you sit down and we bench what excitement or an awesome feeling it breaks down to be oats it breaks down I'm not interested anymore what some Mitzvah and put through the connect see on over there one it's worth money I meant thought - I'm pretty good see all the questions when you look at it feels like a rule it's a commandment than yes the way up over here is what we got rules we got Commandments we have fine I'll be outside we have relationship be a point of connection we have incredible amazing I'm legal fantastic film as many more as you want over there so which one do we look at people how do we see it understand of course you will never do in order to protect you in order to make sure that you don't fall as we know every loving relationship has two pistols and a person goes I recognize that and realize that all of a sudden the truth he said will turn around 180 degrees for those didn't know I come on oh let's learn 180 degrees is half of a circle but I'm assuming if you knew I wanted something that's where maybe didn't know it but a bit under 80 degrees is half a circle we took a relationship that you didn't will totally flip around how we look at it now I want to end up for this one last point I want to end up with this one last point I want to end up at this point I get the mythos I get it you want to see its relationship and that kind of stuff but stop it why so many it still bless you why so many and the details of the details we don't even 613 missiles I leave another 613 through I bought on billion I said what's with the billion why why all of these little details I'm being good I'm connecting I'm doing why not to do like no it's like mom is like this and get to that back years thinking why does that even make a difference what's the answer okay good the Fuca he wrote or mitzvahs excellent it's the round on and the Pierce was nice Marcus Wow now we're getting into it a little bit try to think for a moment if someone were to walk over to you haven't seen in years and says to you April 21st is anybody's April anybody's birthday April 21st that didn't work is it today happy birthday imagine someone comes over to and says to you moysha like my name is Khayyam we're talking about but they know your name they know your birthday and they remember the snack you ate in class from 30 years ago how do you feel besides a little creeped out how do you feel if someone walks over to from last year's convention who you met one time and comes over and says your name how do you feel what's the answer you feel great you remember my name your name I remember where you live restraining order I remember your birthday because you know they say that this idea that a chef loves you she loves us so much that's that that's nice but you don't real love is when I shall loves you this much and when we love a sham this much when we love em so much that the details make a difference and we're careful at them and we make fun of people that are Medoc thick in their mouth near we make fun of them but making fun of a person who loves the Ramona show Lola who gets the last laugh the Sutton who gets the let that they say the devil is in the details sometimes one spouse is the devil but we're saying how much you really love the person is when you know the details when you care about the details so let's try again I'm gonna play a little Association game I'm gonna say a word you tell me what comes to mind Girish kite come on people you're so weak Yiddish kite have a great day thank you for coming by