Rabbi Goldwasser - Tikun Hanefesh: Repairing The Soul

[Music] it's a big couple to be here in the show it's a big couple to be in such a beautiful bed Midrash the schemata ferret the whole Killa together with its illustrious cover should go Mahila hyoma tohe cava we come tonight as a special time we're throughout the world everybody is uniting everybody is coming together back to it Fitz hyeme has the Amish are now the yard site will be next Tuesday is a big day in Claudius royal everybody is uniting and everyone on certain days comes together but what I can say is that Haziq is bringing together Bonet Sol every day of the year not only those within the Torah camp those that have to be reached those that are far out disenfranchised alienated Henoko Beit Israel such an unbelievable the hood that huzzah Creech's out on that level since we have such a unbelievable mana hell of Kazak here tonight I want to wish him that he should continue to do his work and everything and everybody should support him and help him and he should continue as outreach throughout the world you should bring Michelle said ghetto a person came one time we talked about tikona nefesh how we fix ourselves everybody we all need a little bit refurbishing before the Amade in and we all get ready and we all wanted we should improve ourselves and it's interesting that sometimes the person doesn't know where to start from somebody came to the great rubber you saw television and he said rabbi went far far off the derrick I did bad I went far from where I used to be so he said let me ask you a question what was the first thing you did when you went started to go off the path when you went off the derrick he said I tell you Reb I used to say Bharata Mazzone I used to bench I was very careful I said every word from the sea door I hadn't been cavanaugh it was too much for me I ate I left I didn't say Bharata Mazzone the great rubber you sir Oliver Asian said I'm going to tell you your Taccone the guy was waiting who knows what the rama is gonna tell him you got a fast for 40 days you got to do gilgul shelling in the snow you got to roll around you got a dewy new year all kinds of self affliction you got to stay all day open the heck aisle and stand and cry in front say the hotel him every day what did the great Sadiq tell him I want you to be very careful when you say Birkat Hamazon to look into the sea door into a big Cabana the man had a leash at ADAT he felt terrible he felt he's too late the rabbi was telling me that I have no hopes you just said go and do that little prayer and that will be okay the rabbi said you're done Yosh you got no chance left to get back into our shams good graces you can't do it so he started to cry the great rabbi a vision said the matter he said rava you give me this little thing I know I have no hope you should have told me to go and fast and to do all kinds of things and to run to the beta I am going to the prey by the graves of sunny came and you didn't tell me anything you just said blend through the grace after meals of bear kata Mazzone the great rabbi a vision said when we come to be met Akane when we want to fix ourselves we got to know where did we go wrong where was the first time then I went a little bit off the derrick I should have went to the right and I went to the left I should have gone straight and I went backwards that is what a person has to know to be met Akane I got to go back to the very beginning to figure out the show Rashad Vereen the root of all things how is it that I allowed myself to go out from the path and so a person came to the great Benny hi Benesch hi saluto again Elaine oh and that's the banished I had I needed to code coming to banish hi the one who was able to see the one who had prophecy no question ruach ha'qodesh right she said I got a problem vanish I said my son tell me what did you do how did you how did you sin so he said I tell you the truth I did not wash my imahara name before saying Birkat Hamazon before I said benching I didn't watch the my mouth girl named a little water on the fingers the great Sadiq asking why not why not so the man said listen if I don't say bear kata Mazzone so how should I wash my macro name various I said wait wait wait this is much worse than you told me you told me you didn't wash my macro name you could get away with it but now bukata Mazzone mitzvos a meteorite that's a Torah law now you tell me that banjo hey what's going on there so he got all excited the young man said to him Rebbe why would I say barakaatuh Mazzone if I didn't say Hamas see in the beginning I didn't make the brush out over the bread the Rebbe was astonished the great Bennis couldn't believe what his ears are thinking who Thomas shalash low-beam era you know take now you've got three things that you're doing wrong what are the three things you didn't say bear kata Mazzone you didn't say I'm Otzi and now you're telling me you didn't say natella Theodore him all of these things what what what are you coming for why you come here to tell me about all these Oh Rebbe he said please don mila kabsa clerked judge me favorably why are you looking at me like that you're supposed to be able to understand okay he was done on the cops'll foot tell me how I should be done you look absolutely Benishek I said well I'm going to tell you the reason is is I could not watch the telethia dime I could not make a bracha because I ate hazir I ate from the pig perished I could not tolerate this any man I mean everybody has their limit everybody's got their boiling point finished I said how could you do that don't stay here any more you eat cuz there you come in and tell me you don't do all of these things and you Eva's air on top of everything and you start out I just didn't say my own name I didn't I didn't wash what are you doing here the man began to plead with a great benefit I what could I do Rebbe I had no choice no Brera what could I do vanished I looked at him it was totally unavoidable you got to be done like obstacles with said tsch vote a Mitaka you got a judge a nation with a lot a lot of understanding okay why did you have to eat Hazare Rebbe you have to understand it was Yom Kippur Yom Kippur on that day I got very hungry what could I do all of the Jewish stores were closed there was nobody open so I had to go to a store that was not cashier and they had fresh Nazir available and I bought it vanish I said you really have to leave this is not for you you know a lot the baby dress over here what happened every time he wants to save himself he digs himself a little bit deeper every time he has another answer another excuse he going deeper deeper in the hole in the ground says the Benesch guy when a person wants to do and chuhwa that is truth no excuse no excuse but this is the reason why I did it but I have to explain it to you but you understand my rationale the way I looked at it the way I saw it I didn't know quite that that was it but I can explain it to you don't understand my background where I came from so the people in the city were not that you know so I have a reason for it believe me I take the truth that my wife's difficult lady I got to do something right no no no no excuses no teh roots him a person has to be willing to say chop no but God no because I don't know I have to admit that I did this in I have to admit I don't have a reason Hashem I could tell you a lot of reasons but the biggest reason I want to say is because I sinned and I didn't do the right thing once we say that to a sham that is already a tycoon because I'm not covering up anymore I'm not making up reasons why I did so why there I'm coming full disclosure I'm being straight Hashem I sinned I did a big mistake now it's an interesting thing because if you remember if you want to take a look at who did the big Avera in the beginning Adama rashon right Adam Hashem said you've got one thing that you got to watch out for eight sadat don't eat from the tree of knowledge eight sadat you can eat from every tree you want there millions of trees utopia gun a then can a then he made it he was there no work nothing to worry about no traffic nothing get Nathan all of them went he ate from the ate Sadat so Hashem said Adam what did you do so you said a very interesting thing okay Oh Cathy I ate the oh hello and I'm gonna eat more yeah I did from date Sadat said I'm gonna do more of their own that's like if you go to school so they catch you weren't in the class right you're cutting the class so you went to the pizza store I'm just saying you know I never not me but then in person when that pizza store then all of a sudden the mini hell the principal catches the guys sitting there in the pizza store is it what are you doing it's in middle of class you should be learning right now moose are so the guy says they tell you the truth I'm eating pizza right now and next Wednesday I'm also gonna come here to eat pizza wrong thing to say when the individual has to say is I feel terrible I had a you know I had a momentary slip I shouldn't have left and everything else when the person says I'm gonna do this in again I'm gonna do that very again they got themselves into bigger trouble so what happens a dumber is shown said I shed I did this avatar and I'm gonna do more however we learned something fascinating Hashem love the answer Hashem said a dumber is shown you are a candidate for teshuva you are a candidate that you will be able to repent why why some like it the interesting idea is is because Adam Harish own knew himself the Marui shown was able to understand that he had some frailties of human nature because he had fail at ease of human nature he knew himself that he might be nishal because he thought he might be Nick shell he told about it to a sham he was not afraid to say something that he may do in the future again the main point that a person has for tikona nephesh is when an individual is going to be honest when they're going to say the things that had happened to them and they're going to say I know that it is 100 percent I'm going to own up to it my responsibility now we don't have to worry about it accepting responsibility does not necessarily mean that we are guilty Vinay is from Al and I just want to do one more backdrop before we get into the main idea and the story p'nay Israel were doing avodah Zarah they were serving idols at the worst time coming out from its rhyme they were carrying with them the pestle they were carrying with them the Idol over their head can you imagine Pharrell just saved them made the water split look at it says couples of most beloved young the waters came up like sprouts it was unbelievable unbelievable Reuben in Soho club a Basha vidtalk I am today so walking on dry land in the middle of the water that's unreal in the middle of the whole thing they're carrying their abode Azana mecca and zeus and all the Hebrides on top Buddha's and everything on that how could it be how could it be they saw Shem Hashem came down from shamayim and showed them exactly what the right way is gave them a big bazooka muna gave them the biggest strength that they should be leave and happy talk long and then when they serve the brothers are so Hashem got angry masha Rubino came to hashem well sure Bennet said what do you want what do you want from the mushroom imagine a little guy grows up in a house of a master thief right Gambino he goes up in the house little Gambino and the father every day steals and he goes and he makes major heists from different places and jewelry holds up the bank brings home the money in there and the son sees it every day the son watches it every day that's his dogma one day they catch the son and the son was stealing candy from the candy store so the Papa says son what do you mad way this is what you do what kind of a person are you you're a thief you're lowly thief like that and this is what are you doing your life so the son what do you want from him that's who he watched his whole life he saw his father he saw his father it'd be over on Geneva over and over again so a Shem said Moshe Roberto Senna Shem what do you want it's the same exact thing bnei yisrael saw in Mitzrayim avodah Zarah they were steeped in avodah Zarah so what do you want from them that they should now be different give them a chance Bob a new one Hashem said you gave the right answer I understand so we do have there are circumstances all of us there's a lot in today's world a lot of people have challenges there's a lot of difficulties there's a lot of obstacles and someone can go and they can fall into a nivara that they did not mean and all of a sudden they get caught up in it right and they start getting used to it there are good good defense mechanisms that we all have but we got to admit so it's interesting there was a special thing that happened there was a covenant that was given a bris that was given to Claudia so al the your gimel me--don't the special me--don't of a sham that hashem said these are something very special why were they the Claudius Royal the reason is whoever says these 13 by the way a nun who's ereth Raycom dirt Fela will not be returned empty-handed anyone that says the 13 what was the reason but sure Ave know heard that Hashem loves him Moshe Rabbeinu Hashem said you I find special pain by you you have extra charm extra grace so Moshe Rabbeinu said okay hooray Mina at Kodaka then show me your glory interesting it says Hashem mallamma genitive a Kadosh Baruch who put on the tallit cash left see bore like a Kazan put the talita on him and show to moshe rabbeinu coals Aman she is real ho team whenever B'nai Israel does a sin Yasu leaf or not you should do in front of me kiss aider has a do this Seder Bonnie McCallum I will be most of them I will forgive them they will be completely pardoned they'll receive full atonement the Gemara tells us that the you'd given me don't of course we know we say it on keep or Yom Kippur we're going to say it six times Ezra touch them six times everybody knows them okay and it's a very special special time at the end we say notes of Casa de la femme no se habla festival kata are there then ok then ok and that Shem will clean us Hashem will forgive everything that we have done Hashem erasers are some cleans us off you go to the cleaner and purifies us right however it's an interesting thing in the Torah it says when not care law and I can forgives but doesn't forgive wait a minute wait don't put the end in just that I care that's enough not the other one Josie and I can why very interesting answer is given in Yuma in the Misaka Duma which deals with the things of yom kippur and it says the following then Hashem forgives everybody only those have to do teshuva in order to be forgiven if they didn't do teshuva but they went through on Yom Kippur they went through all of the motions and they said all the Telos and they said all the prayers and they pass it but they didn't do teshuva they're not forgiven that is the reason why says revenue Samia game safe and sunny clear aha now yeah a Sulha phone.i Cassandra said you got to do this not just to say it's not just a formula that you say the formula that everything's okay it's an amazing thing I was once Mike Everitt Sadiq I went to big Kevin Sadiq Rama Amram Ben Diwan unbelievable Siddiqui so dalam right so I'm standing there and there was a special feel odd that you can say by the cover of it's a dick so I had this special to feel I and I said it and there was a guy that came along not let me say not too religious so he said to me what are you saying so I said if you say this fella this is a fillip for Chava when you say it you get repentance for anything you did he looked at me says anything I said yeah I said that's the Tila he says ok what I got to do just say the prayer and that's it she said well that's part of it he grabs the tail away from me he said it I don't know how he had such a good hebrew said when he gives it back ok I'm fixed he went back on the bus everybody else stayed hours after we did him in the cod there they have a little bit Midrash it was unbelievable so I'm gonna go back in the bus so I said why didn't you say what why don't you stay together with us whatever he says remember I tell you the truth since I got the main prayer I went on the bus I slept for an hour it was worth it I thought to myself that was not what the prayer by the cover of the Siddiq is all about yeah so a person has to do something they have to change they have to become different they can't stay the same and say okay shame now I'm different now everything is okay they have to be willing to make a change in their life even the smallest little change the smallest little thing that a person is willing to do can get a person off the hook Hashem said take one step in honor of a ship one step the great said he came right they're going to be Ola a go to your shall I am some people they didn't said they didn't have the signs of exactly where it was so that someone would stop and ask directions can you tell me how to go sometimes you didn't have to give instructions all you had to do is point for that one pointing one time do you know the star that they got for that one pointing Hashem says do one thing cry one time you'll know Ryan cry one time over something cry one time that's enough do one thing take one step make one action one time say V joy a person does not know the chance that happens in one time yes cone Alamo Vishakha take a look through all of kazow you'll see people in a minute they were able to change their life okay before we get into it a person has to know how to be McCain the Pugin that they made when they did the thing that was wrong doings here at the O'Meara everybody says at the end you took on mashapaug empty let me fix whatever I wounded Oh chip it de ferran whatever whatever that thing is that I did wrong I want to fix it up I want to make it right right a person doesn't have a doubt they make a hole in the wall I want to do complete to survive so I do Chuba but the hole is still in the wall I got to fill up the hole that is Tycoon Hannah fish repairing what we have done wrong okay just dollars LK tapara there are different ways that a person has of doing chuhwa everybody knows it there are children that a person can do that we didn't mean to do it we didn't mean to do that Vera and we want to come down to repent on it very little Chuba on Shabbat I forgot and I was here what is it you do wrong in Shabbat they forgot and they want to get a quarter to give it into the the made a mistake right as soon as they touch the court and they realize that put it down okay that's very light then there's a little bit more severe might be that a person needs big chuhwa to bottom ish goal i gotta try to take away what I did if I stole something I got a return it if I insulted someone I got to ask my fila if I did something wrong and it sabor I got to do it in that way there are all different ways of making up for what I did wrong however there could even be a more serious transgression that transgression might require some mild Yasuda some mild pain as we know it should only be easy you go to pay the parking meter you need a quarter you put your hands in your pocket instead of a quarter you pull out a dime or a nickel that's also you soon that's also pain the little guy is sitting at the table he wasn't careful enough and the dish falls off onto the floor floor is marble editage breaks you okay what are you doing there don't you look don't you pay attention what you're looking now the smart person says kappa dis just broke I got a present Hashem knew that I need a present and I'm very happy about it I'm happy that that dish broke because now I'm clean and go home at night and everything is beautiful ok so there are different ways that a person can have que para then of of course is Yom Kippur Yom Kippur we get kappaa for everything even he lula sham a person can have Khepera during Neila during the Eli even hosta Shalom a person did Hillel a sham they profaned the name of Hashem they can be granted Khepera Slee ha during the time of nila now let's see for a minute how to go into what has happened we know Remy who de nasi Rebbe he was one of the greatest that there was in the world - thou shalt young he was the highest that you could have he was not Nana he was extremely wealthy he was not Nana he did not benefit he did not enjoy all um Isaiah he didn't gain anything from this world we learned before he died he picked up his ten fingers BAM he said to our Shem I promise I swear that these ten fingers I never ever in my entire life took anything from this world I did it and everybody knows that before he left this world he told his wife the Romany listen I'm going to come back after I go out of this world after I go to survive I'm going to come back Friday night please buy my table put my cup out the coast that I use for kaduche have my chair arranged I'm going to come back and I'm going to say key douche Rebbe said it they did it they shined up the cop they had the chair they had everything ready and exactly happened Friday night he came back he made kaduche for them he continued until one week he was found out people knew about it once people found out about it he stopped coming down because he was afraid that others said he came that it did not happen to that they weren't able to come back so people might say Rebbe oh he was a great Sadiq the other was weren't so great so he did they didn't come back so he stopped we also know that everyone came to be missed at eighth to join in by his l'viyah by his funeral everybody was there however after they were leaving about coal came out from Jemima heavenly voice and said who is ever missed a safe at the lava yah at the funeral of rebel de nasi Monsieur Mallah hayyei olam haba they are invited to Olam haba because they went to such a great man's final honor okay only one problem with all of this all the great stuff that we just read there was one thing that happened not so good rebby one time got stomach illness lo elena boyko beta-cell stomach illness it was so bad he had this uri menorah in bad bad pains for 13 years 13 years do you imagine a problem 13 years he cried so loud from his pain it was so excruciating that even the sailors out in the sea were able to hear when he cried that's how bad that he was now during the 13 years i just want to share it with you we can imagine that every morning during yet little he got up and said she hoped ya rabbee he said sleek hooked right we can imagine that all the times that he fasted and said that you'd given me don't we can imagine how he pleaded with hashem how he did everything that a person is supposed to do but 13 years his you saw him continued 13 years of pain 13 years of screaming 13 years of sailors heard it out in the sea so why was it a very interesting little piece in the Talmud and then we're going to get to our point we learn that one time there was a calf that was being so little calves right noodlecat was walking on the road it was leading being led to its slaughter to the show hate as the cat was being led all of his sudden he saw Rebbe a holy man walking down the street the calf came and put his head into the robe of Rebbe to hide Rebbe looked at it and said zeal go go Lacock Matata this is what you were created for you were meant to go to Sweta you were meant to go there goes ill he pointed that way and the calf went and he got shafted at that moment there was Matata Dean forgot such a great Sadiq like Reb you de nasi should do such a thing there was already the COS era that he would have pain excruciating pain unbearable pain for thirteen years okay now we know the truth is what was the argument what was the complaint about Rebbe and in fact the idea that the AYGO would go to shmita tears mitzvoth the show hey Keith sling a dumb covering the blood can make the bra on it there were other great things that would happen he would the cat would eventually end up on the table where a person is having their sudah for Yom Tov where they have all the delicacies and nice things someone would make a bracha on it they would eat it with shame shamayim they would raise it up so it wasn't that bad on the other hand there's another question another question how could it be what did they want ready to do with it they want ready to say okay you don't go to schita we'll come into the shoal over here we'll have you sit in the front and the MS Rock right and you can pray together with everybody and so the calf was not supposed to do put him in the kollel to learn that was not what he was supposed to do he was supposed to go to be shafted that was his lot however the great Raavan Fogel the former mush gift of the lake would you Shiva says that what happens is the following when somebody comes to you and asks you for help you don't say zeal you don't say go that's a reason that you are created when someone comes and says I can't afford to do this and therefore I have a difficult you don't say well some people are blessed with a lot of money some people don't have like a midsize and it's just the way it was no you don't say to a person that didn't get into a place maybe want to go to yeshiva somewhere I didn't get in they say well I'm sure you'll get in somewhere you know there's always another place no not like a frittata you got to have compassion you got to take care of it because Rebbe didn't have the compassion on his great exalted level of it Sadiq said to him go that's why you were created he was given this terrible onus now we got to know that everything everything in this entire world has a tcode sometimes we get the tikkun earlier sometimes we get the tikkun later massa Shia I live in Flatbush in Brooklyn and there'll be people looking from all over the world at Torah anytime and they will certainly in hazaki and they will certainly be in various countries no doubt as soon as they put it up someone is either going to call or to email and they're going to say why do you use Flatbush as a an example use a street in Paris or Australia or South Africa or London or Switzerland use a street in Japan why you use the street in Flatbush I just want to ask Mithila I have to say where it happened in order for the story to be true to form so it happened in Flatbush and Avenue and and I invite anybody from around the world to come to banana will do off la santé him you can come in and see New York in Queens is also an unbelievable place so what happens at the time a woman comes over to me an elderly woman she says it's a 30-meter Shiva elderly woman I know her she sees me and she says would like to ask you a question my brother and I are in a fight where my cloak at me and my brother there was something happened there was the Arusha or whatever something happened and I want to know what you think I should do I said what do you mean does he think you did something wrong yes but really it was him I said but does he think yes so I said I think you should call him up and ask Mithila call him and ask for Fela so she said well I don't know if I could do that I said why because I haven't talked to him for seven years seven years I didn't talk to him I said seven years you don't talk to your own brother you got to call him up Rebbe you really think I should call him up I said yes call him today soon as you go home soon as you reach your house you call him up and you ask him Athena she goes home she calls up brother picks up the phone the brother asks why she didn't call in all the years he said I want you to know I am leaving to go to Eretz Israel I'm moving I would love if I could see you before I go because I don't know when the next time I'll be able to see you that night the brother and sister got together to meet tikkun how long could that have gone on how long what was she waiting four years from now to receive the Saran the telephone hasta Shalom tikkun means you take care of it however omeka then 13 years happened 13 years the userid did not go away all of a sudden Hashem is Barack sent the tycoon what happened one day they were the maid servant in the house was sweeping up she was cleaning up and there were a little group of weasels that were in the house so she took the broom and she started beating the weasels ready SOT no leave them don't touch them please she left the broom went out she got scared she went out of the house rebby saved the weasels all of a sudden all of the illness all of the sickness completely went away tikkun a nephesh finding where it is that a person has in some way gone off and to be met akane to fix it and there are many different things that a person could do in order to try to find what things we should concentrate on helping ourselves in very interesting right behind by lotion also Baal Shem Tov in the area that a person thinks that I'm the weakest listen I can do all the midsole but that one Mitzvah is a little difficult for me I keep away from every Avera I don't do any sense I'd believe me there's that one sin okay everybody has a weak spot but once it ain't bad right that one thing I got a problem with it I don't know why I get okay right I think I'm weak since about Shem Tov in that area that you think you're weak you are the strongest your Gabor you're a person that has such great strength you could become the greatest in that area the only thing is it's Hara tries to tell us no you don't have that area you're very weak don't even try give up don't worry about where you got 612 mitzvot that's an outdoor e about the 613 no no no no the reason a person came into this world is for the 613 it's for that one that they have the challenge with that's the takuna nephesh I got a big thing I like to say Lashon ah ah I got a big thing I like to look at that thing and I shouldn't look at I got a big nice Ayana my I see money and I don't know what the right way is and sometimes I could take advantage I say sometimes things to another person makes them feel bad what can I do that's my way I don't mean to you know I'm a good fun-loving guy don't really mean it those are nice y'know those are the things that a person has to be careful in that's what we're talking about when it comes to takuna nephesh and there are so many different examples that we have that an individual does not even realize that we think only we have these DCO note Michigan Omaha vero eats Logano the person that is bigger than their friend the yet Sahara is bigger the person is bigger that means someone who is big has he ate sera to do the wrong things we tried to correct ourselves we are also good we do such great things in this world it's unreal a massage yeah very interesting great Siddiq that tried to be met Akane unbelievable the great become ovadia yosef Sarah sorry Clara ha so who tell you again Elena he was from a very poor home he was such a poor home that they had him go to grocery to work his parents took him out he of future God Allah door they made him in the grocery store the great Rebbe came breve Isaiah came and saved him and said I'll work in the store but send that guy back to yeshiva I'll work here in this store but send him back to you Shiva calm came and he grew however he was very poor especially in those days he didn't have any money he didn't have any money he was not a good up wasn't big get it it was difficult for him he also big loved then he learned a lot you know yeah the girl says okay will he go out on a date so how come said will come to the baby thrush and what was it there well you live with you will do this year or something will listen to this year it's very difficult he could not get a off couldn't get a off finally finally what heartbreak heartbreak he's ready to go on he's ready to have a family he's ready to start in life Hakam couldn't get Hashanah finally he has one young woman that was mask him she wants to go out I don't know where they went out she went out a few times with them right and how come said I don't go through many times you know like only a certain time so okay they get engaged however she starts to observe him she says one day to him I see that you are very dotty I see a very religious I didn't know like you're that religious I want to fold this closure I want to tell you the truth she says yes yes tell me since I go to the movies once a week movies of body yourself is gonna marry somebody who's in the movies right so what's he gonna do he was afraid that maybe it's not gonna work out right maybe there's gonna be other things that have come up in the marriage that just won't be the right thing so what could it do he said I have to go to a bed did he get him had that done says I got to go to the Beit din and they have to see they have to be po sake they have to judge whether we should continue with with the marriage or not getting married whatever it is he went to a eight-bed Dean and the Beit din with Passaic Dahl AHA this is not gonna work out and the couple should part however they talk how come yourself that he had to give a certain amount of money for doesn't say exactly why had to give a certain amount of money so that she should be appeased so that she should be mohel he should give it he didn't have the money he's poor don't have a penny so what he had to do was though I can't imagine he had to bind the books when it's safer is falling into disrepair so they bind it and they thread it and it's the whole thing with the drill and then they come out and learn how to do it he had to take off time from learning over the next ten months he did it and he paid her back finally the money and that was the Messiah okay that was it then he went on met the great Robin eat Margalit got married and the rest is all history okay many many many years passing that day somebody Yosef is in his last year at that time for all that he gave over to Claudius so L for all the cohort for all of the learning for his massive knowledge for all the Messiah nefesh that he gave he had Nikola thought of my attention coho Sheila dumb he didn't have any power left he had to stay in his house people came just for minyan he was not seeing anybody anymore all of a sudden one day an elderly woman comes comes in the door gets in to the floor of the apartment gets her way in there and says to the person who was taking care of him I got to see the hakam he said no way you can't he's not seeing anybody what no no I got to see him it's very important the Hofmann I got to see him he said I'm sorry nobody sees him dead he's not seeing anybody nobody at all arguing back and forth finally she said tell him that I was his original shidou I was the original girl that was engaged to him the guy doesn't know to believe it not to believe it he goes into the shock hum hum says Daphne toto Daphne salsa bring her in bring her and she comes in she asked us um do you recognize me because if you're regular I would even go into that right he didn't know he said yes yes she said I pass through difficult life I had very difficult this you're not I had a hard hard life my husband was NIF star he didn't have a penny I'm alone in the world she cried and cried and cried haha Muir self cried with her hum yourself started to well when he heard about the lot of this misfortunate young woman who is now elderly how come yourself said immediately you do not have to worry from now on every month I will pay your rent from my personal funds you don't have to worry another month ever in your life every era of Shabbat whatever you want food meat vegetables fruit cake fish nuts candy soda wide whatever you want is going to be delivered to your door your whole life she couldn't believe it become yourself he had a fright he was being met Akane he was fixing it fixing whatever happened she cried more when she heard what was going to happen and he made the arrangements immediately while she was there she got up to go to the door she went to the door she looked back at the house hum he saw she went back to the door she opened it up she went again to look back she went this time the door she went out came right back came over to the hum and said I didn't want to tell you I don't know if I tell you I shouldn't tell you but I'm gonna tell you you have a great muscle that you did not marry me I was not able during my life to have children had you married me all of your sons Yosef Avraham rubber Oishi of eret sister L would have never been born all this forum all the things that came out you can never tell an individual might think that something was not so good he might have thought that he was on the worst of all levels of mazel in the world can never tell Hashem miss vara watches each and every one of us and knows us come you're safe at that age after a life of Kassadin Torah he's still worried to be met Akane maybe I owe her more maybe I have to take care of her maybe in some way I did have a high youth when a person looks into their life and they try to see the parts where they could possibly fix things where they could repair where they could become closer to Hashem where they could see the things that in life that maybe they could do a little bit better when they try to do that then they are able to achieve that Ticuna nephesh then they come Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur and that Shannon says that's who I'm talking about Hashem says that is the person that comes with their heart that is the person that says kakora of a devar that it's closed at chuhwa is closed to us that we take up we understand that we're able to move ourselves closer that we feel about all the things that have happened in life I am a cry I am responsible for it and that individual when they change in the Y hacer they do according to the seder not just lip service but they change Hashem blesses them with everything great with all the Bravo we should all have every Braja roof neilton gosh mute we should all have an unbelievable year all the families with Serato vote upon our summit silver ewa all the children should go in the right Dara should be big time shall don't buy it everybody whatever you're asking may Hashem reward you richly you and your families and may we see beyond the chef's it kind of America men are men you [Music]