Rabbi's 2 AM Calls: Crisis, Community, and Boundaries Explained #shorts

I'm talking about the 2:00 a.m. call. Sometimes the 2:00 a.m. call is exactly why they're calling the rabbi because they know that at 2:00 a.m. when let's say there's a situation that does need to be addressed at 2:00 a.m. some major crisis in a hospital or some extremely abusive situation the rabbi is the only call they can make. And the fact that they feel comfortable doing that, I think speaks to the relationship that a rabbi can have with the community and it's important for that to be recognized as well. >> Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. I don't learn from this >> [laughter] >> discussion that's appropriate on a daily basis. on a regular basis, but sometimes Sometimes it is a sign of success and sometimes it's a sign of someone who's uh a little socially awkward and uh upon the rabbi, I suppose. Reb Akiva, what did you mean by boundaries? Meaning to maintain our own mental health and our own or did you mean something else? There's somebody who leans on you whatever they're going through in their life be it recovery, be it um family situation and and you've now responded. But that becomes a very comfortable place to go. Either because like you pointed out, you don't charge for your time. You need to go. I just answered an email on the way here of a meeting I have coming up this week helping parents make a certain decision for their family and it begins with we're writing this email to tell you what it's about in case you don't think we need to meet cuz we know how valuable your time is. And I wrote back, "There's nothing more I want to be doing with my time than than talking to you about this. This is why we do and went into what we do." But how do we also sort of protect our time and where is that fine line between we're available, we're here, we want to help but also there's some healthy boundaries. Don't don't abuse that. Don't overuse that. >> And also protecting the people themselves from becoming over-reliant. Meaning it's not it's not always emotionally healthy for us. >> And let's be honest and I don't know if we want to take this conversation there. I feel comfortable cuz I think we're Bnei Torah and and it isn't a challenge, but it could be. It's voice notes, it's calls, it's texts, "I'm filling you in. You won't believe what just happened and I can't take this anymore." And how do we both listen, believe, follow up but also that it's not late at night and you're on your phone at and where are the boundaries? When is it appropriate and how do you manage that without the person feeling, "I guess you're saying you're too busy for me. I guess you're done. You've done too much." And how do you find the line for that and at least be struggling with it and have the awareness of it?